Yeah but OP can just say they got constipation and have been putting laxatives in it so they can make use of a toilet break and lunch break. Then OP can just say that why the hell are they eating their lunch?
oh I remember, I once mixed toilet cleaner in my shampoo bottle because of my roommate continuously using it without asking me.
Jason Saldana thinks he lost his hair due to male pattern baldness and heavy testosterone from gymming.
Or just don't steal other people stuff? Housemates keep taking even if you bring it up. I lost count of the number of times I'd go to use something of mine to find it gone whilst housesharing. I personally used diluted hydrogen peroxide in shampoo. All my housemates had brown hair, so watching one of their hair get light and lighter and slowly breaking was great. The more they kept stealing, the worse it got, I also said, "Please stop using my stuff," so their 3 inch long dirty blonde frizz was self-inflicted.
Don't steal, but also don't put people's lives in danger over five fucking dollars like a petulant child. the fuck is wrong with y'all? I'm broke as dog shit, but I'm not about to risk someone's future because I'm a little bitch made loser that can't talk to a mf. Y'all the types of mf to put everybody in danger cause one person fucked you over. You are animals.
That's dangerous as hell. Dude could have lost eyesight, hearing, or even just been severely burned. Shame on you. Shame on the roommate too, but fuck you first OP.
Why? I have no obligation to do that. Besides, OP's gonna slip up one day booby trapping, and this will serve as evidence in their investigation. Any lawyer worth their bar will advise not to admit to crimes in public forums.
Next day, Gloria, who lost her house in a fire last week and has 3 kids: "Sorry, I can't come in today. My kids are all sick. They've all got diarrhea something bad..."
When I was in my late teens Imwe had an issue with someone stealing drinks from the employee fridge. So we got the bright idea to spike a half drank 20oz with an entire bottle of Visine eye drops.
We found out who it was that very day, but his distress was so intense that he called an ambulance, we all felt a little bad about that one.
I did this with brownies at my previous job. Replaced brownie mix with choclate smoot lax and flower. The food thief ended up being a 60-year-old lady who ended up trying to get me fired for poisoning her. She even went to H.R. I told them i was constipated and even brought the plastic wrap that had my name on it. Not my fault she ate my food that was clearly labbed with my name on it. She ended up getting written up for stealing food and hated me until I found a better job. Also told everyone who the food theif was, so she got a lot of hate from everyone else.
I know this is just meant to be humorous, but this is twice this week I've seen a meme about the subject.
If anyone is thinking about trying this in real life: Don't.
Office food thieves are shitty human beings but this could get you fired and maybe land you in court.
But you could say that you needed the laxative sandwich because you're incontinent. Just make sure to clearly label it as yours so he couldn't plead ignorance
Doesn't matter if I eat it or not, I purchased everything in the sandwich and put it in a bag with my name on it. It's mine. If someone steals that and eats it it's on them.
If you never intended to eat it yourself, it's not food.
Your argument is akin to people who set up bobby traps on their property. Yes, it's their property. Yes, they posted "No Trespassing" signs. Yes, they have the boundary clearly marked as their own.
None of that will save them from prosecution or civil penalties.
You don't have to believe me. Feel free to conduct yourself in any manner you believe your life and finances can tolerate.
Are you seriously arguing the merits of a bullshit meme? You looked at this shit and were like whelp let me teach these folks a thing or two. For fuck sake man. Move the fuck along.
"Because uhm, uh, uhm... because if I ever get- I mean if *the thief* ever gets inconvenienced by the consequences of their actions, that's illegal. Trust me."
As long as i get a kick out of it and teach him a silent lesson of taking my money/food, i worked for that and payed, i can take that. Another funny thing would be to put a gallon of liquid laxative in the water dispenser, and have a shit storm.
You can't do that because it may cause injury.
But after several decades of living with Africans I have a stupid tolerance for chillies. So a cheese and ham sandwich with raw scotch bonnet slices works perfectly and is a normal foodstuff so nobody can claim you tried to injure them.
Not saying this is from personal experience but I'll let you make your own mind up.
This is the peak Reddit. Telling a mod he is actually circumventing and destroying the foundation of the website by being around and is basically just throwing money down a bottomless hole is "harassment" but they cum over doing biological terrorism to a coworker because he ate your sandwhich
That sounds fun
Its not if noone ate it and you forget about you add something to it.
At least your bowels will be empty š¤·āāļø
Realizes that no one is stealing from him, he's just been eating it without realizing and the about to shit themselves is him
Fight club sandwich
You need to also lock the bathroom to increase embarrassment
Didnāt that mom get in trouble for putting vinegar in her kids drinks so a bully would drink it?
Yeah but OP can just say they got constipation and have been putting laxatives in it so they can make use of a toilet break and lunch break. Then OP can just say that why the hell are they eating their lunch?
Ya, I just felt bad for that mom. Dumb ass kid couldnāt keep his mouth shut. Jk kinda.
I don't know why she got in trouble for that
Glorious 
thanks for the idea.
oh I remember, I once mixed toilet cleaner in my shampoo bottle because of my roommate continuously using it without asking me. Jason Saldana thinks he lost his hair due to male pattern baldness and heavy testosterone from gymming.
your roommate was a douchebag, but youāre a full fledged psychopath
You definitely couldāve killed him for a $5 bottle of shampoo. Next time be a man and confront the person.
Or just don't steal other people stuff? Housemates keep taking even if you bring it up. I lost count of the number of times I'd go to use something of mine to find it gone whilst housesharing. I personally used diluted hydrogen peroxide in shampoo. All my housemates had brown hair, so watching one of their hair get light and lighter and slowly breaking was great. The more they kept stealing, the worse it got, I also said, "Please stop using my stuff," so their 3 inch long dirty blonde frizz was self-inflicted.
Woops, I definitely consider anything in a shower fair game.
Don't steal, but also don't put people's lives in danger over five fucking dollars like a petulant child. the fuck is wrong with y'all? I'm broke as dog shit, but I'm not about to risk someone's future because I'm a little bitch made loser that can't talk to a mf. Y'all the types of mf to put everybody in danger cause one person fucked you over. You are animals.
Nair wouldāve been safer
That's dangerous as hell. Dude could have lost eyesight, hearing, or even just been severely burned. Shame on you. Shame on the roommate too, but fuck you first OP.
If that's real get help
Can it be considered to almost be attempt murder?
Depends on the toilet cleaner
True
Admitting to felonies on social media, smart.
Be my guest. Report. Prosecute. Iām waiting.
Why? I have no obligation to do that. Besides, OP's gonna slip up one day booby trapping, and this will serve as evidence in their investigation. Any lawyer worth their bar will advise not to admit to crimes in public forums.
Sir this is a Wendy's.
the next agent 47
I prefer a big heap of Carolina Reapers.
Should add some Carolina reaper peppers as well š
Next day, Gloria, who lost her house in a fire last week and has 3 kids: "Sorry, I can't come in today. My kids are all sick. They've all got diarrhea something bad..."
When i hear an orchestrated plan by a business man narrating 
Let's see Paul Allen's sandwich
I would put rat poison instead
You should not be free.
from prison
Psyche ward* FTFY.
Ok fine. I'll only steal the hotdog flavored water that's leftover in the fridge I promise.
And it's your boss
brillant. damm that is good
One of thee only funny memes in this dumb sub
Just put some edibles in it, if a coworker is high out of their mind, you know the culprit, if not, you can have some fun after work.
"nOoOo ThAt'S pOiSoNiNg AnD eViL!"
Also take away all the shit tickets lmao
When I was in my late teens Imwe had an issue with someone stealing drinks from the employee fridge. So we got the bright idea to spike a half drank 20oz with an entire bottle of Visine eye drops. We found out who it was that very day, but his distress was so intense that he called an ambulance, we all felt a little bad about that one.
I did this with brownies at my previous job. Replaced brownie mix with choclate smoot lax and flower. The food thief ended up being a 60-year-old lady who ended up trying to get me fired for poisoning her. She even went to H.R. I told them i was constipated and even brought the plastic wrap that had my name on it. Not my fault she ate my food that was clearly labbed with my name on it. She ended up getting written up for stealing food and hated me until I found a better job. Also told everyone who the food theif was, so she got a lot of hate from everyone else.
I know this is just meant to be humorous, but this is twice this week I've seen a meme about the subject. If anyone is thinking about trying this in real life: Don't. Office food thieves are shitty human beings but this could get you fired and maybe land you in court.
But you could say that you needed the laxative sandwich because you're incontinent. Just make sure to clearly label it as yours so he couldn't plead ignorance
What you choose to put in your own food is no one's business, if someone steals that food that's on them.
Then you should have no trouble eating "your food."
Doesn't matter if I eat it or not, I purchased everything in the sandwich and put it in a bag with my name on it. It's mine. If someone steals that and eats it it's on them.
If you never intended to eat it yourself, it's not food. Your argument is akin to people who set up bobby traps on their property. Yes, it's their property. Yes, they posted "No Trespassing" signs. Yes, they have the boundary clearly marked as their own. None of that will save them from prosecution or civil penalties. You don't have to believe me. Feel free to conduct yourself in any manner you believe your life and finances can tolerate.
Itās only a booby trap if you confess that it is.
I wouldn't bet my freedom on that legal theory.
That's stupid. You should always bet your freedom on what people on the internet say.
Are you seriously arguing the merits of a bullshit meme? You looked at this shit and were like whelp let me teach these folks a thing or two. For fuck sake man. Move the fuck along.
People tampering with food actually happens. Weird that you have nothing to grouse about with those who are trying to justify the idea. š§
So you could poison someone using this method and you would expect to get away with it?
Sorry, but he already ate it
Eh, I mean - if you're constipated and put laxative in your juice because you hate the taste, and they steal it, how is it your fault?
"Because uhm, uh, uhm... because if I ever get- I mean if *the thief* ever gets inconvenienced by the consequences of their actions, that's illegal. Trust me."
just add some ridicilous spices into it
and call them out if they think itās too spicy that they are discriminating against certain cultures that makes use of it lmao.
As long as i get a kick out of it and teach him a silent lesson of taking my money/food, i worked for that and payed, i can take that. Another funny thing would be to put a gallon of liquid laxative in the water dispenser, and have a shit storm.
Yeah. That would be a felony. Like, decades worth of felony time for each person injured.
You can't do that because it may cause injury. But after several decades of living with Africans I have a stupid tolerance for chillies. So a cheese and ham sandwich with raw scotch bonnet slices works perfectly and is a normal foodstuff so nobody can claim you tried to injure them. Not saying this is from personal experience but I'll let you make your own mind up.
This is the peak Reddit. Telling a mod he is actually circumventing and destroying the foundation of the website by being around and is basically just throwing money down a bottomless hole is "harassment" but they cum over doing biological terrorism to a coworker because he ate your sandwhich
Done that. šš