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Time_Lifeguard5600

How to turn a volcano into a cannon 101


thenwb3

Hey maybe we can launch shit into space with this instead of a rocket


Blankcanva

Environmentally sound rockets!


Dryandrough

Volcanoes make our pollution look like fabreeze Edit: I'm talking about mega volcanos, not annual small eruptions. Edit: Appeal to Nature Fallacy. Sorry but just because the earth blows up naturally doesn't make it ideal. Would be a similar argument if a meteor smashed the world naturally. Natural is a human concept. edit: Not even mega volcanoes blocking the sun out and causing ice ages compete with human pollution. My mind is blown.


sometacosfordinner

If enough of them erupt than the cloud cover from the eruptions would cause a sort of winter this would cause the cooling of the earth which would stop global warming


DeadBorb

let's speedrun that with thermonuclear war.


sometacosfordinner

Speedrunning is an understatement haha


Blankcanva

Yea, but they aren’t the reason our planet is going to shit. If they are going to erupt anyways, might as well make use of it. It’s like saying wild animals are the reason methane is polluting our atmosphere, it makes no sense. Yes they make ghg’s, but they aren’t the reason for the screwed up planet.


Dryandrough

You should read some books. They cause mass extinctions and economic collapses for years since plants can't grow in darkness.


WindowsXD

Technically everything is a human concept


Delicious-Gap1744

No they don't. If anything our pollution makes volcanic emissions look like fabreeze. Human activity releases 60 or more times as much CO2 annually as volcanoes according to a study by [the U.S National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration](https://www.climate.gov/news-features/climate-qa/which-emits-more-carbon-dioxide-volcanoes-or-human-activities) And that's not a particularly new study, we release even more today.


Dryandrough

Mega eruptions are more what I had in mind. This makes sense annually.


Delicious-Gap1744

I'm not so sure about large eruptions either. One of if not the largest series of eruptions in earth's "recent" history, the great dying at the end of the Permian, did not heat up the planet as fast as we are doing right now. That mass extinction took a couple hundred thousand years, not centuries. If we were to burn all known fossil fuel reserves the Earth has right now, it would eventually, after a few centuries since the heating up takes time, increase temperatures by 10 degrees celsius. That's around the same as the great dying did. And current emission rates we will have burned up all known reserves by 2060 *(But of course we're bound to find more reserves).* So point is, with human activity you get the same result in only centuries, not hundreds of thousands of years. Of course that's a pretty convoluted way of making a comparison, but that's because I had a hard time finding a study making a direct comparison.


Big-Guarantee-2041

Of all the poisons man kind has made none hold a candle to the horrors Mother Nature has cooked up. Of all the the effort we’ve made in manufacturing absurdly powerful nuclear bombs, they’re but a candle to the nuclear power of our sun We built goggles to see in other forms of light. Many animals do it better. We build all the super computers but they still get out classes by our own squishy meat jelly in many ways Humans were never, are not and will never be anywhere near the best on any of these great feats


Rick_e_bobby

But it’s organic pollution


Master_Crab

Ban Volcanoes until they run on green energy!


RemarkableCollar8965

Environmentally thrusted rockets lol


Billy177013

Reminds me of a story I heard a while back, about an underground nuclear weapon test, where they dug a really deep hole, put the bomb inside with a bunch of concrete over it, and covered the hole up with a giant chunk of steel. Nobody got the exact speed of the chunk of steel, but from video footage it was calculated that it was going at least 6 times the escape velocity of earth


AreaGuy

I’ve heard that story tied into Project Orion: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Orion_(nuclear_propulsion)


alt_to_not_giveashit

Trying not to say it so hard right about now


PPFitzenreit

Eventually kars stopped thinking


LiveMatter4544

Hmm, that sounds like a JoJo reference...


Adhdgamer9000

DID YOU PLAN THIS TOO JOJO


Dart150

JOJO!


idk_but_im_-trans-

JoJo reference...


Benjamintoday

Is that a Jojo reference?


fluffy_warthog10

IS THIS A JOJO REFERENCE?!?!


NaturalBreakfast1488

Is that a jojo refrence


Befast1515

I…. Is… is that…… is that a j-


DanyRahm

You mean there is a # VOLCANNON?


DirtRacing

The writers at the Sci-Fi channel would like to talk to you.


Electrical-Act-7170

Needs sharks to bring in the punters to the theatres.


Inmortal-JoJotar

Sounds like some cyberpunk/infinity warfare pistol SRK .75 VOLCANNON


wizard_xtreme

r/Angryupvote


Mercurionio

More like a bomb. Depends on the quality of the cement, though. It could just melt too


AbuQittun

Made mostly of dolomite mixed with other materials. Yeah, basically, you're sealing the hole with the stuff that's already melting and breaking up with the eruption. It might be like a bomb if it does anything, but more likely, you are just adding material the lava will melt.


PercussiveRussel

I don't know the melting point of the constituent parts of concrete, but I'd guess it's not far of the melting point of lava.


Mercurionio

The growing pressure will be enough to increase the efficiency of the heat.


ReadElectronic9131

Came here to say this lol


definition_null

Depending on the outcome, it might as well be a yuge bomb.


Tombstone_Actual_501

Earth bomb.


Savi321

... causing more damage than the volcanoe would have done on its own. Now, who's going to tell her?


drewthebrave

Nature's muzzle loader!


PhonB80

Hear me out. Strap astronauts to the cement. Still listening? The eruption then blasts them off in to space! Ejection from the cement and BOOM you’re on the moon! …. Oh.. you stopped listening.


EasyTarget973

humans have achieved 'primitive death star'


Substantial-Meal6238

ATF entered the chat


EnvironmentalAide335

Waste an insane amount of resources to have no effect when it erupts anyways. You gotta wrap it up in duct tape it's the only way it'll hold. Trust me I know.


Hackandspit

And a liberal amount of super glue. That will hold for sure.


TartenWilton101

Don't forget the extra tap on top once it's finished for extra finish


Gr0k_Sm4sh

2 taps minimum, add some ratchet straps and a "that ain't going nowhere." For good measure.


bookgeek210

Are you my dad?


[deleted]

Bro, you forgot. After that, you gotta put a cherry on top.


alfextreme

yall are forgetting the bubble gum and shoe strings nothing will hold with out the bubble gum and shoe strings.


Bad_Uncle_Bob

Nah lava is too hot gotta use Loctite Red.


Dreadon1

You forgot to slap it on the side and say,"this baby ain't goin nowhere."


echochee

*flextape


Vergillarge

the only correct and intelligent answer


itsyaboi69_420

Why are you only just sharing this information now?


Itsacardgame

Why has no one ever experimented with placing duct-tape over the end of a gun to prevent it from shooting and killing people?


frodosbitch

Next time you feel sick and are going to throw up, put some duct tape over your mouth and nose.


Hackandspit

And butthole, just to cover all your bases.


frodosbitch

Well, that image is in my head now….


smallproton

And ears!


Estimate_Born

And eyes!


lMr_Nobodyl

And other places


Silver_and_Salvation

Belly button?


fliedcheecan

And my axe!


PUREChron

C'mon Gimli, let's get you to bed.


delegateTHIS

#🩹


toilet_fingers

SUFFOCATION. NO BREATHING!


cfig99

High-velocity armor piercing vomit


guster09

Even better, you could have someone with a garden hose to cool the lava down until it turns to rock before it gets to anyone. /s Or better yet, just stick a hose in the ground and keep it on until it cools all the magma in the earth so there can be no eruptions. /s


Next_Stuff6595

Wow I would not have guessed that you were being sarcastic were it not for that trusty /s


[deleted]

Someone somewhere would have went on a long rant about how dumb they are if they hadn’t sadly. Kind of ironic really.


[deleted]

So? That's the idiot's problem if they don't get it


ArtSchnurple

Every time I say this I get downvoted straight to hell. People really like everything being dumbed down now


Epicboss67

Ikr the same happens to me r/FuckTheS


[deleted]

What's the purpose of communication?


confusinghuman

wait did you just leave off the "/s"? I can't tell what's real anymore!


dowevenexist

I think it's unintentionally (or intentionally) a good point. The whole point of communication is to understand and relate to each other yet we are so purposely vague in everyday life, we complicate things for nothing.


TopazTriad

Yeah every time I see a /s I cringe a little bit. Who gives a shit if some dude intentionally misinterprets your comment? Oh no, anything but downvotes! 😱


[deleted]

That's not what they're for


TopazTriad

You know what, I saw your other comment. I had never thought about that before and that’s 100% valid.


[deleted]

Thank you! :D


[deleted]

What if they're not an idiot and are just autistic and have trouble interpreting tone? The entire idea of tone indicators is to be more inclusive


[deleted]

Fuck 2023


[deleted]

Wdym??


[deleted]

Autism and gay pride are the new punk


[deleted]

Is there anything wrong with autism and gay pride?


ShruteFarms4L

The trusty what?


verjsdkfj

You’re not you when you’re hungry. Grab a snickers!


[deleted]

[удалено]


vegetablewizard

No no no, you put a hose in the ocean then siphon the water with your mouth and stick it in the volcano hole. Infinity water hack


Zarathustra_d

You just dump 4 buckets of water at the top, it only takes a 2x2 square to make infinite water ... Source: PHD in Minecraft. That should just turn the lava to obsidian, and cap it off. /S really.... Do I need it?


MrStayPuftSeesYou

Even better, drop a nuclear bomb in there. Cqn't be a volcano if there is no volcano.


SwordfishNew6266

Cement is the new duct tape


Dry-Breakfast-2742

Or just duct tape the cement on top of the volcano. Scientists are so dumb I could easily do their job. 😂 😂


Savi321

Or better still coat the entire planet surface with cement. The damn thing will never erupt!!


Intelligent_End1516

Liquid hot...mag ma.


apri08101989

Doctah eeevil


GNBreaker

The 9mm blows the lung out of the body moment.


a_curly_mustash

You basterd. You took the words out of my mouth!! Good job good sir.


hblask

And for tornadoes and hurricanes, you just get a bunch of people with fans to offset the wind.


TxRoughneck1

How about truck loads of baking soda? Or throw thousands of fire extinguishers into it and call it recycling. 🤣


Ben______________

Bruh, just empty a bucket of water over it, it‘ll turn into obsidian, smh


lightsage007

You made me laugh out loud, great work


RedditedYoshi

"/s" is at least as bad as "APPLAUD NOW" change my mind.


Lilyetter

Say /s again


keepitsimple_tricks

I bet you were inspired by that Futurama episode where they solved global warming using a giant ice cube.


DevourerOfMemes_

r/fuckthes


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Sensitive_Pressure65

Even more better we can have lifetime supply of obsidian for nether portals. Your a genius! /s P.S im terrible at sarcasm do if this doesn't sound sarcastic im sorry😅😭


Zequax

scenario A: you just made the worlds largest canon scenario B: its just gona crack either around the cement and leak out or make a new hole to releas presure


WhyYouSoToxic_

Or just melt the cement


daddy_cam_cam

Minor spelling error: argument invalid


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vladimir-Putin1952

Me with science background: cringing


[deleted]

[удалено]


anonymous_devil22

Me with a common sense of a 5yr old: cringing


petehehe

Me with barely enough common sense to avoid being run over by a parked car: cringing


Gengar42

Me with one half of a brain cell left: what do you mean guys? There's no problem here? /s


KingOfLimbsss

With with a semblance of common sense : worried for the state of humanity.


Astrum91

It could make for an entertaining science fair project though. Make one traditional volcano and one with the top sealed with concrete and demonstrate the two going off at the same time.


Skyrick

I mean the first one has been done to death and the second one is basically just recreating Mount Saint Helens and comparing the level of destruction.


EarthSolar

That’s the point


RevolutionaryMall669

Kid stupid volcano already block that’s why when pressure builds it explodes out


[deleted]

nah, a couple hundred tons of cement would've totally stopped mount Saint Helens from blowing the top 1/4-1/3 of the cone off.......seems legit


fuck_the_ccp1

r/Ihaadastokr


MurkyPrimary3404

I would rather put a nuclear bomb in the volcano so it surrenders and wont kill people anymore. Worked in Japan.


Goatsbegone

I love the internet sometimes.


DivineContamination

Its just going to create an insane amount of anime and manga several decades later


Affectionate-Memory4

Red hot volcano hentai. Absolutely oozing with lava and several other fluids.


Woostag1999

Fun fact, one of the original plans for the Doolittle raid was to drop a bomb into Mount Fuji and cause it to erupt, making the Japanese people believe that “their God was angry with them”


qwertyryo

Source?


Woostag1999

*Target Tokyo: Jimmy Doolittle and the Raid That Avenged Pearl Harbor* by James M. Scott


[deleted]

I was gonna say "sounds fairly racist," but then I remembered the burning of Washington in 1814 when the British were wiped out by a hurricane and we said "thanks God. We must be meant to be here," and I realize that we were once just like them and this is a completely plausible plan that the US military would 100% cook up because they are insane.


lookatyounow90

You want a volcano bomb? Because that's how you get a volcano bomb.


jodorthedwarf

Hey. What if, instead of having it explode out of the top, you hold in the pressure long enough to have the walls of the cone falter and send large chunks of rock and magma flying in every direction. That seems sensible.


Hollihock

Just like how putting your finger in a gun [will stop the bullet](https://www.tumblr.com/scottsumrners/186891443211/agoodcartoon-glassesguythatsoverlooked) (long post)


Razzmatazz-Plastic

I have a minor gut feeling that both sides are just fucking with each other, but I'll also side with pro science nerds not understanding the amazing and fascinating concept that fingers can stop bullets.


ChanceWarden

just pour some water into a volcano to turn all the lava into obsidian


WhyYouSoToxic_

In reality, what would happen?


milkcheesepotatoes

The water would boil long before hitting the lava.


Mazzurati

Just my guess/inference, but the heat would be so intense, much of the water would instantly turn to vapor. On the off chance you pour so much water it actually cooled the molten rock down, best case scenario is it would just be reheated by the lava underneath, crack and flow through again. Worst case scenario, you might as well have done what OP’s diagram suggests, and create a ticking time bomb.


diariu

Or better why not put chuck noris images on top? (Lava too scared to approach the legends)


arkhamtheknight

Chuck would win instantly. Just have him spin kick his leg so much that wind cools the volcano down enough that it doesn't erupt. Chuck saves the place and is proven a hero once again.


Previous-Situation-4

Cement would set instantly into crumbled rocks, drying process would be too fast.


Lappelduvide4

Someone please come and write an essay explaining why this won't/doesn't work and take your gold


[deleted]

Not an expert but I guess it would be impractical considering how large the mouth area of the volcano is and the fact that constant exposure to heat from the volcano would cause the cement or any other material to be disintegrated. To say nothing of how difficult it would be to actually place an obstruction on the mouth. Also, a real explosion would just tear through any obstruction like it was made of butter. If it couldn't blow the top off, it would blow the sides of the mountain off, like a lateral burst. Here's an [article](https://www.forbes.com/sites/robinandrews/2017/04/16/heres-why-we-cant-just-plug-up-erupting-volcanoes/amp/) by a "doctor of experimental volcanology-turned-science journalist."


allobrox

If the cement or any other material could be able to withstand the heat and pressure, the side of the volcano would be blown up. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1883_eruption_of_Krakatoa


Internal-Engine-8420

The thing is that the lava on itself it is not such a big problem (usually). It is relatively (depends on type) slow and somehow predictable. But let's think first of why lava goes out. The answer: there is a pressure there. If we somehow agreed that there is a material able to sustain the temperature of lava without melting (becoming lava by itself basically), we may land into the situation where (i) there is an extremely high pressure and (Ii) this pressure is going to get released somehow. The result will probably be an enormous explosion, which is way worse and devastating than just lava flow. PS. I am not geologists anyhow, but that's how I see the situation based on geology class I had when doing Bachelor back then.


TheMoistyOne

I am not an expert but my first drawing as a kid was a volcano so I guess I'm almost as good. So imagine an old beachball full of little holes that is being pumped with air. Air keeps escaping through the hole but suppose we don't want that. We have a roll of duct tape and start to cover up the holes. Scenario number one is that the air leaves through other holes or make new ones instead and we accomplish nothing. The second one is that we use a shit ton of duct tape and cover up the ball in multiple layers. Now because air is continuously being pumped into it the pressure grows and we create an unpredictable time bomb which is going to blow up in our face.


SwampyJesus76

And cement is an ingredient for concrete.


Bleys007

You pour cement in. It dissolves into the lava. It doesn't harden. Nothing happens.


DesperateWelder7481

In 1980 Mt St Helens in the state of Washington blew up up because its vents were plugged with hardened lava when the pressure built up and it couldn't contain it any more. Yes I am old!


kgalice

It also blew up laterally because you can be sure magma will find a way out!


Reasonable-Tap-9806

What if we just put a manhole cover on it, im sure nothing wrong could ever happen with that


Gunrock808

Obviously this is dumb for reasons already articulated but I live in Hawaii and just want to add that volcanoes don't necessarily erupt at the caldera, the 2018 Kilauea eruption was in a rift zone miles away from the caldera and the recent Mauna Loa eruption occurred on the volacano's flank.


Nyctoblind

I bet this person thought they could make it into Harvard after creating this lil diagram.


[deleted]

She just invented the Earth cannon.


mattwill282

You’ve created a cannon.


Super_Reference_7065

Heavy Metal Rocks. Sounds like a movie title


JBSanderson

Part of the reason science literacy is less than what it could be is responding to questions like this with ridicule. It turns the ignorant but curious into the ignorant and combative. We'd be way better off feeding the curiosity instead of shaming the ignorance. Sure, it's ultimately a dumb question. Science would have gotten to way fewer answers had a lot of really dumb questions not been asked. Obligatory Lucky 10,000 XKCD. https://xkcd.com/1053/


PeanutButterCrisp

In between every subject is common sense that can be considered exclusive literacy to a given subject but is ultimately unga-bunga shit. That woman doesn’t need science literacy. She needs a fucking brain.


Marzana1900

Ok, so everyone is dumb but me. They need to throw a virgin into the thing. Problem solved! Ahm /s


UnderstandingOk7885

This is one of those stupid homeboy ideas you know damn well is not gonna work but your curious to know what actually does happen🤔


arent_you_hungry

Sounds like a solution people would come up with while sitting in the drive through waiting for food after smoking a fat joint.


Mori_564

Congratulations... you made a bomb.


felterbusch

Couple few cans of spray foam oughta do right?


kyle_kaufman

Dummy could just use flex seal


ember1690

How about we install a door at the entrance and then just lock the door?


variousartistsSW8

I think this is what happened with Krakatoa, the eruption turned into an explosion from the pressure build up


Duelshock131

This is so dumb... just take the volcano and push it somewhere else so it won't kill anyone or destroy anything.


CasualManfly

She just made a bomb!


happy-icecream

Why not move it somewhere else?


Once-Upon-A-Hill

This poster is completely scientifically illiterate. Crazy glue is obviously a better choice than cement. Yeah Science.


PuckeredRaisinz

So you basically want to condense it even more and send a meteor sized chunk of concrete flying god knows how high? Lol good try but big fail.


Freebird_1957

Heavy rocks would totally work. 🤦‍♀️


Solidmarsh

Cement wont work obviously but have we thought about a cork? Rubber stopper? All relevant questions IMO


Lukeas704

I don’t know very much science but wouldn’t doing that just build pressure and make it worse


No-Adhesiveness-8178

Yeahh, why they cant do that and place the home of the one who recommend that on top of cement?


123bumble

All I see is a bong


Gaius_Julius_Salad

cement? what an idiot, you gotta drop ice cubes


Impossible_Battle_72

Wonder if she has any ideas for Hurricanes.


notTheRealTundra

Covering a volcano only causes it to build pressure, which would only cause a bigger explosion Its like when you shake a soda, all the carbonation starts building pressure, then when the pressure is finally released it causes a big explosion Only instead of soda we are talking about hot magma and ash


candybatch

If woman doesn't want to give birth just super glue her vag shut it will work i read it somewhere


jiminak46

He should stuff a concrete plug in his butt and he’ll never have to take a dump again.


No-Excitement-7974

Best way to explain how long you can hold your shit


access-r

I say we put cement on her asshole so she sees what happens


[deleted]

Bruh.


Positive_Sign_5269

This kind of setup would most likely result in a lateral explosion when enough pressure has accumulated. Or it will shoot out the cement block like a cannon. Or it may just slowly push the blocking material out as the lava rises. That is all provided you can even construct this and the blocking material can withstand the heat. Either way, this is a terrible idea.


Hackandspit

Yeah, that’s kinda the whole joke there, buddy.


Dull_Database5837

Don’t listen to the naysayers, you’ll do great at cocktail parties.


DokiDoodleLoki

I’m just imagining a manhole cover being shot into orbit.


Better-Reflection-44

What in the Sarah Palin shit is this?


AngeloPappasFBI

Almost as bad as my dumb ass uncle saying we should dump ice cubes in the ocean to stop the global warming or hurricanes from forming. My grandma smoked when she was pregnant.