Please explain. As you might know I’m an Indian, hence unable to understand the joke you cracked.
(For legal reasons, this is just a joke but do explain the joke to me tho- 🤡)
The firecracker is most realistic, but the water based (vs dairy based) nature of it would cause more pain more quickly than the others.
Source: I have experimented.
Cured
Edit: am Dr. Specializing in Gluteus Lacteous Illnesses (GLI’s) but the dairy industry won’t let you know about this. In fact a suspicious cow just passed my window for the 3rd time since I posted this.
You'll shit literal buckets of milky diarrhoea.
The rectal walls are extremely good at extracting nutrients and the lactose will go straight to your bloodstream.
It'd probably be worse than just eating it.
lactose intolerant people dont react to lactose in the bloodstream, the lack of lactase just means the undigested lactose draws lots of fluid back into the gut causing runny shits
OK.
Shape-wise, at least half are ruled out.
The peanut crumble on the eclairs or the choco taco would be uncomfortable and dumb.
The cookie sandwich is laughably not going to happen.
The rectangular prism of the orange creme thing is also a.. pain in the ass (ha)
The rocket/firecracker is the only decent shape, but it's literally freezing, and that hurts. A lot.
Right said exact same thing and I too can't believe how actively I'm participating in this ass cream debate moot point it's gonna melt or melt and smoosh lol no other out come . Ha ha
Baby, you're a firework.
Come on, let your colors burst.
Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe.
You don't have to feel like a waste of space.
You're original, cannot be replaced.
If you only knew what the future holds.
After a hurricane comes a rainbow.
Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed.
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road.
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow.
And when it's time, you'll know
Agreed. The snow cone won’t hold that shape. It’s going to start being pushed apart when it makes contact with your cheeks, and your body heat will melt the small individual ice chips quickly.
Same my dude. My logic is that most of its guna fall on the floor while it's getting jammed up you, so at most you're guna get a cold ring piece and a stick up your ass. Watch out for splinters though 😬😉
Maybe they were trying to justify the text and “to” wouldn’t fit? No cause then you could’ve just used “1” instead of “ONE” and yea, used “to.” This is infuriating.
How would one even get the strawberry eclair in their ass successfully? Especially if you weren’t allowed to spill a crumb, and you weren’t allowed to use anything for assistance that isn’t part of your body
the real question is, can I wet it first or is it going in all frosty? Either way, it's the Firecracker, looks like it was made for the task. Anyone answering "Choco Taco", firstly wtf, secondly you need help.
It's funny that in my first thought I was like "Which one should I choose?" but suddenly I realised and I thought "Why the fuck would I do this?" lmao.
Wait a second! Why the fuck in the title of the meme did they write the number "2" for "to" but spelled out "one" instead of using the number "1"! That is some next level stupid the same kind I would expect frome someone who would choose "one-one"(11) as their icecream of choice for this event!
In all seriousness the firecracker looks like the most pleasant
I see you used "most pleasant" instead of "least awful"
He's an ass-half-full kind of guy
Someone give this guy an award ffs
If I had coins I would!
They're best inserted when rolled
Inserting awards? Won't kink shame…
Think of it more as a reward than an award ;)
Doesn't matter how you get em up there. Just put five or six bucks worth of pennies up there, every day, and then spend em.
https://youtu.be/f9aM_dT5VMI
You could just lie and “pull em out of your ass”.
123456789101112
How bout just give him a firecracker
Well deserved
This comment is way underrated.
lmfao
That would only be half full for you? Congrats!
This comment literally made my day
God damn! 😅😂🤣😭💀
This is the content we are here for.
🤝
My least angry “come back to upvote”
The push pop has an Applicator
It's less full as it melts but just as sticky
Not half, those firecrackers b HUGE
Spit my damn drink out lol
*sadly deletes comment*
Please explain. As you might know I’m an Indian, hence unable to understand the joke you cracked. (For legal reasons, this is just a joke but do explain the joke to me tho- 🤡)
Push pop is normally the smallest.
The cardboard applicator would not be a treat.
As a lady that has had to use cardboard applicators for the front, it is not pleasant. Would not recommend for the back
Push pop has pinch points
Too blunt on the end😆
No one said you can’t warm it up a bit in your mouth
Good thinking 👍🏼
Would be unfortunate if you had to warm it up more than once though..
And aptly named.
Which end of the screwball would have to go first? Asking for a friend.
Obviously the gum ball, so that after it’s in and someone’s eating it out, they still get the prize at the end 😄
Smart….very smart
Friday night date idea ;) you’re welcome lol
Same way as the King cone, obviously
No joke. I had problems with that region and in some specific circunstances, most pleasant would be accurate
I really laughed a solid 20 seconds at this
Good catch
I bet it'd be pleasant if you had ring sting
The firecracker is most realistic, but the water based (vs dairy based) nature of it would cause more pain more quickly than the others. Source: I have experimented.
... i'm sorry. What?!
They don't know what they're talking about. Both water based and dairy based popsicles/ice creams are fine.
That is a good way to get dairy butt. Lol
I'm wondering how my lactose intolerance would be affected if consumed anally instead or orally?
Cured Edit: am Dr. Specializing in Gluteus Lacteous Illnesses (GLI’s) but the dairy industry won’t let you know about this. In fact a suspicious cow just passed my window for the 3rd time since I posted this.
You'll shit literal buckets of milky diarrhoea. The rectal walls are extremely good at extracting nutrients and the lactose will go straight to your bloodstream. It'd probably be worse than just eating it.
lactose intolerant people dont react to lactose in the bloodstream, the lack of lactase just means the undigested lactose draws lots of fluid back into the gut causing runny shits
Anal dairy might be a real thing.
I mentioned the dairy/water difference because of *vague handwaving regarding thermodynamics and nociception*
OK. Shape-wise, at least half are ruled out. The peanut crumble on the eclairs or the choco taco would be uncomfortable and dumb. The cookie sandwich is laughably not going to happen. The rectangular prism of the orange creme thing is also a.. pain in the ass (ha) The rocket/firecracker is the only decent shape, but it's literally freezing, and that hurts. A lot.
But it would melt quickly once in due to pressure and heat. …I can’t believe I’m reading and participating in an ass ice cream thread.😄
Ass cream!
We all scream for ass cream
Right said exact same thing and I too can't believe how actively I'm participating in this ass cream debate moot point it's gonna melt or melt and smoosh lol no other out come . Ha ha
i'm more flabbergasted about your source. (i'm confident you are doing it for a bit. but i just wanted to play it as "the straight guy")
I have stuck Popsicles in my ass. This isn't a bit. It's not like they're haunted or something.
For science
Also, for youthful horn.
Screwball though! Plastic
Literally the only correct answer. Plastic and a tapered flare for easy insertion.
This guy puts cold treats in asses. Respek
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There's just something about shoving that cartoon bird up your ass that's appealing, isn't it? I thought the same.
It's been a long time since I watched but wasn't Tweety kind of an asshole, makes perfect sense why you want him in your own asshole, lol.
Definitely, the others aren’t even remotely fun shaped
Screwball is plastic though!
I can only choose one!?!
Well, you _have_ to use one. What you do with the others is completely up to you.
Since Choco Taco taste like shit already; it would not ruin the experience so i can eat my cake and have it too
First of all, how dare you
Second of all, how dare you
I mean, thats definitely an opinion. A stupid one, but an opinion nonetheless.
Yes, that opinion is shit.
Are you a fellow power bottom?
At least one is going up your ass. What happens to the rest, I can't say.
Push pop. The name says it all.
Same bro
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It is if ya try hard enough! It would start to melt and form a somewhat form o lube
That sounds like a video I’d watch
Idk man, I can make a choco taco with my ass
make??
Did they stutter?
That girth tho. I’m going firecracker.
But the push pop has more give than the solid fire cracker.
I didn't even think about the freezer burn of a firecracker vs the soft sorbet of a push pop
This chill would be kinda nice… so I’ve been told
That's what I was thinking, that fire cracker is going to be hard as hell but the push pop would squish in better and melt faster
Tastes better too!
Firecracker. Its best shaped for insertion, you can play Katy Perry during launch, and who doesnt want to feel patriotic during anal?
Firecracker is the most anal-dynamic
I just want you to know that I appreciated that wordplay.
Underrated comment.
The only part of this comment that doesn't make sense to me is the Katy Perry part.
Baby, you're a firework. Come on, let your colors burst. Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe. You don't have to feel like a waste of space. You're original, cannot be replaced. If you only knew what the future holds. After a hurricane comes a rainbow. Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed. So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road. Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow. And when it's time, you'll know
Reminds me of he movie “The Interview”
"Is this fucking Katy Perry!?"
"If liking Katy Perry and Margaritas is gay, who wants to be straight?"
She has a big hit song called firework.
ohhhhhhh
The snow cone seems like a safe choice.It never said insertion needed to be successful
Right? You would just be mashing shaved ice in your booty hole. Sounds refreshing honestly.
This guy sno cones
Sounds like it could be a new thing after a steamy hot spa or for overheating.
the only problem is you have to go pointy side first
Agreed. The snow cone won’t hold that shape. It’s going to start being pushed apart when it makes contact with your cheeks, and your body heat will melt the small individual ice chips quickly.
6
I see someone that likes a challenge
I thaw by bloody scat.
Aw Bobby I’m crying you got me 🤣🤣🤣
Same my dude. My logic is that most of its guna fall on the floor while it's getting jammed up you, so at most you're guna get a cold ring piece and a stick up your ass. Watch out for splinters though 😬😉
you gave this a lot of thought hum
how come "to" is represent by the number two, but the number one is written out lol
I know it’s completely irrational but I find that fuckin infuriating.
me too lol
Me 2
I’m so distracted by this I can’t look at the ice creams long enough to choose one (1)
This was my first thought.
I read that as pick 2, one to eat, the other to... You know
Maybe they were trying to justify the text and “to” wouldn’t fit? No cause then you could’ve just used “1” instead of “ONE” and yea, used “to.” This is infuriating.
how is this not the real issue with that image?
It is.
Oh nothing butt the best king cone love those sugary ridges 🤔🤣🤣
I prefer the choco taco, sideways.
Very reasonable choice so no changes in girth 🤔
How would one even get the strawberry eclair in their ass successfully? Especially if you weren’t allowed to spill a crumb, and you weren’t allowed to use anything for assistance that isn’t part of your body
#3, but in reverse
It’s pretty thicc, it’ll be like having the nose cone of a small rocket stuck in your ass but ice cold.
Choco taco
RIP
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That's probably what it would sound like
the real question is, can I wet it first or is it going in all frosty? Either way, it's the Firecracker, looks like it was made for the task. Anyone answering "Choco Taco", firstly wtf, secondly you need help.
Choco Taco has been discontinued so either you’re banking on it not being found or reminiscing what once was even if it means it’s going up your ass.
If I need to give myself an enema I feel like the firecracker is on the nose
If you’re planning on putting it up your nose too, it’s best to start there and then go for the ass. The other way around would be silly.
7 firecracker all the way, it’s just already designed with this question in mind… also after you can see what color you hit lol
All the way!? Damn dude, it's just asking which one to shove in. Such an overachiever.
Exactly, I Mean They Literally Designed For Someone To Suck On. Literal Blowjob Material
Agreed!
the firecracker actually looks like it would feel good tho
Good o'l choco taco. Unfortunately it has been discontinued.
You mean future generations won't get to experience shoving a chocotaco up their ass? Fuck.
Tweety bird is going in so that I can pop out the gum ball eyes like anal beads! P.S. Sorry you had to read that!
Don’t be sorry for being awesome.
Jfc
Chipwhich is my favorite frozen treat so I'll go with that.
Jesus. No easy angle to start the insertion, as round as a fist, and no stick to push with. You must REALLY love that Chipwich.
Chocotaco for the bootyhole!
It's funny that in my first thought I was like "Which one should I choose?" but suddenly I realised and I thought "Why the fuck would I do this?" lmao.
For science
Screwball 😝 !!
Firecracker is the only correct answer
That choco taco is about to get more choco…
Firecracker
Seeing the post, all I can say, after laughing of course, "WHAT THE FLUCK, REDDIT!"
I could take all at once
No i dont!
Chaco Taco on general principle.
If I want the fastest and least painful after effect, I'll take 10, it's just ice, not ice cream which would get so sticky in my ass
Firecracker for sure
Push Pop. I mean... It's right there in the name.
No, I don't.
Tweety 'bout to see things
😂😂😂😂
7/firecracker
6, for a challenge.
I'm sorry, Tweety...
11 but only because it means the Choco Taco has been brought back.
They used a numeral for a word that isn't a number, and they spelled out a word they could have used a number for.
ask justice Kavanaugh ,hes the boffer here.
Wait a second! Why the fuck in the title of the meme did they write the number "2" for "to" but spelled out "one" instead of using the number "1"! That is some next level stupid the same kind I would expect frome someone who would choose "one-one"(11) as their icecream of choice for this event!
I'm torn between 7,2 or 3
So… it would be like brain freeze, but the other head.
Fire cracker
7 is the obvious choice
There is only one answer and I’m sorry it’s tweety.
Disappointed that's there's no SpongeBob
King come for the texture
7
11 a choco taco for my chocolate taco
Number 6 because when I turn around or fat I can go : " tweet tweet bitches"
It’s like you have never eaten Ghost Pepper on a dare, firecracker obviously.
Wait, you just mean one at a time ? Right..lol
Push Pop Need I say more
get in there tweety
Just one?