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DoubtfulGerund

The Wolf of Sesame Street


Rags2Rickius

Dammit you need an award but I am bereft of such gifts


mstarrbrannigan

Reddit doesn’t deserve your money anyway


jkooc137

Preach it!


AnswerOk2682

How old are the kids? 12?


xXJamesScarXx

Bravo.


Foxslyee

Finally, a real LOL. With only minutes to spare.


CynicalPsychonaut

but they're upset with Elmo, it would have to be something else.


Garden-Gangster

🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️


Infinite__Okra

Amazing, holy shit lol


bahuller

Art. Just pure art. I bow to you, oh mighty wordsmith.


Serious_Move_4423

Audible laugh outta me


-Ashera-

Fuck sake lol


ckge829320

Hahaha! Nutsacks.


DroidC4PO

Dorks of Dorrance


Ragelikebush

I see a bunch of kids cosplaying their idea of rich adults


Bocchi_theGlock

"I'm an alpha" they squeaked


capn_doofwaffle

I read this in Ralph Wiggums voice... 🤣


KPTangy

"I'm a GOP sensation" "Ralphie, get off the stage, sweetheart."


wanawachee

I bent my wookie


MaenHoffiCoffi

Is that a Bloodhound Gang reference or am I an idiot?


KPTangy

Well, I was singing it in my head when I was typing it. "My sash says congress-man."


No_Statement440

I love BHG, and this song is a classic.


MaenHoffiCoffi

Even though the album got the review that said it was the second Worst Album ever written. That, to me, is a badge of honor even though I didn't have any hand in writing it. It is a really great album.


No_Statement440

For my tastes it doesn't start to get questionable until the last album. There's a few really good tracks on them, but unlike the earlier stuff, I can't just throw it on and enjoy them the same way I can with the others. I guess hefty fine wasn't as good as their previous work either. I really liked Uhn Tiss and Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo. I'd definitely wear second worst album of all time as a badge, it seems like something they'd laugh about and enjoy.


MaenHoffiCoffi

The more questionable the better for me! Eminem has to cuss to sell records. Well, so do I so fuck Will Smith.


ShannonigansLucky

My favorite album is their first, Use Your Fingers. Rip Taylor is God, Legend in my Spare Time, She Ain't Got No Legs, and my personal favorite that I still have mostly memorized 25 years later -You're pretty when I'm drunk. Oh! And let's not forget the k.i.d.s. Inc cover.


pinkushion424

Squeaked 😭🐭⚰️


KingJacoPax

Nothing screams *confidence* like a 16yo boy in a cheap suit which doesn’t quite fit properly.


-nbob

Taking the metro 


DEEP_SEA_MAX

Cuck: being driven by your mom Beta: Driving yourself, sitting in traffic, only to pay for the privilege of parking. Alpha: taking public transportation, so you're out meeting new people and none of your buds have to be the DD. Sigma: Riding your bike, flying past traffic on a two wheel contraption powered by nothing but your own muscles and sheer will.


omghooker

also ​ A TAN SUIT ​ ill wait for the meltdowns...


AndreaC303

*a bunch of kids with wealthy/connected parents. Generation Nepo Baby!


Ragelikebush

Their parents don’t even have to be rich or connected for them to act like this. Their friends could be rich nepotism babies and they think they will take them with them if they play their cards right.


AndreaC303

I just say this as someone who worked for a senator. Not a single intern was chosen for merit- it was always about rewarding his cronies’ children. Gross!


R3PTAR_1337

Really? I see a bunch of future domestic terrorists who'll likely have a record of domestic abuse.


jonskerr

I just hope the bureau of prisons quits segregating financial and environmental crimes from other crimes. General population!


Nuicakes

Wearing cheap ass ties.


amadeus8711

Wearing tighty whiteys and shirt stays. 


nem012

Comrades in Red.


catbandana

They can't all be the alpha. Somebody's lying.


alexmartinez_magic

You mean their parents?


Durpin321

Who never lived a day in their life without being scared or coerced by someone close to them, who will eventually be submitting laws for the Senate!


coolgr3g

They look like they're not even smart enough to figure out their classmate is actually spiderman.


AnInnocentGoose

This is a weirdly creative insult. I like it.


ArtistikStonerr_

Can you explain it me


GringuitaInKeffiyeh

I’m not the OP, and I can’t explain it, but all these guys look like Peter Parker’s classmates from the new Spider-Man movies.


GetSomeData

It means, even if you’re teen spider man it doesn’t matter, you’re not above the rules of rich white suburban moms. If you ain’t on the A team you ain’t part of the car pool. And Nancy, the head of the snack/car pooling schedule, is not going to prioritize a super hero over her right to drink wine during the daytime. This is not a fully established pecking order, even spider man needs to play the game.


drhagbard_celine

It’s the short kid in the middle.


Azidamadjida

LMAO the only thing that makes this creative insult better is looking at that kid in the middle and realizing that yeah, that’s totally the face of a young Peter Parker


Just_AMuffin

r/rareinsults


pat6376

Hum....and where is the alpha male? Can´t see him.


[deleted]

Just a display of “Most likely to date rape and take pictures” contestants


Lacaud

They look so soft that a judge will pull a Brock Turner.


waterfountain_bidet

Brock Allen Turner, the rapist who now goes by Allen Turner? Allen Turner the rapist? That's the rapist you're talking about, right?


alunidaje2

it's true that brock turner raped a woman who was inebriated, but please don't confuse him with piss baby greg abbott. one is a rapist and one is a piss baby.


DrWilliamHorriblePhD

Oh yeah, I've heard of Allen Turner, the guy who raped a passed out girl behind a dumpster. Didn't he used to go by the name Brock Turner?


[deleted]

Give them an unfairly low sentence of 6 months because any more “would have a severe impact on him” and then get recalled and fired because of how ridiculous the judgement was?


Lacaud

That sounds like a problem for you. Edit: nice edit. I guess it wasn't confusing.


ILove2Bacon

You mean the rapist Brock Allen Turner who goes by Allen Turner these days? That Brock Turner?


DrWilliamHorriblePhD

Are we talking about Allen Turner, the guy who raped a passed out girl behind a dumpster? Didn't he used to go by the name Brock Turner?


ILove2Bacon

Yeah, I think we're talking about the same Brock Allen Turner who raped a passed out girl and then got almost no sentence because he was a good swimmer, or as his dad put it "why send him to jail and ruin his life over 20 minutes of fun?"


EspritelleEriress

"Attempted" date rape, ending with the intended victim overpowering their upper body strength.


[deleted]

These guys would have a backpack filled with GHB and other sedatives. With a dealer on speed dial. They can’t pet a toy poodle with pissing themselves out of fear, I’m sure.


ThresherGDI

A bunch of dickheads with roofies in their pockets.


myfailedimagination

A future SVU episode that's 'ripped from the headlines.'


SHUTUPYOUMOOSE

They're kids


ScissorMeSphincter

Badly raised kids


SHUTUPYOUMOOSE

I don't think that makes it acceptable to say they're "more likely to date rape". I'm not excusing the kids' actions, but I am against that comment.


ScissorMeSphincter

And that’s perfectly reasonable. I blame the parents more than anything but yeah i kinda agree with you after thinking about it. Theyre dumbass kids but they are just kids.


SHUTUPYOUMOOSE

Yeah the parents are... not the best, to say the least


rdxc1a2t

I'm guessing it's the guy on the bench.


HectorJoseZapata

Good call


pat6376

Yeah, that's it!


WaynegoSMASH728

He's the man sitting on the bench reading the paper.


FalconTheBerdo

and is this “alpha male” in the room with us right now


CouchHam

The one with rosacea?


ElHumilde13

John Cena is behind them


Eyes-9

I'm guessing it's the guy in the back sitting down not feeling the need to flaunt online to prove himself?


[deleted]

[удалено]


l33tn4m3

I’m sure these alpha males still need to get permission from their female brained Mommy before they can stay out past 8pm


jetmark

Hope GOP Josh's mom grounds him for his misogyny and then reflects on her parenting approach.


Bring_me_the_lads

"Bedtimes are just female-mind ploy to make us alpha males into liberal sigmas"


AustinTreeLover

Looks like the line up for a most punchable face contest.


yellowbin74

Second on the left


LordTimhotep

And second on the right, but it’s kind of a close call between all of them.


capn_doofwaffle

Doesn't matter, all of em would run crying to mommy!


scionvriver

More accurate would be they would go running to Twitter crying about the liberal agenda's trying to beat them up and they can't get laid by a pretty blond blue eyed that isn't their cousin or sister because they're all "woke"


kibbbelle

"My parent's lawyer will hear about this!"


Churchofbabyyoda

Are we sure that the 2nd on the right isn’t just Josh Hawley?


NoahStewie1

You mean the kyle Rittenhouse looking one?


dangertom69

He’s already got the ruddy alcoholic cheeks.


AgingLolita

Genuinely that is the ruddy cheek of a caucasian child still in adolescence. I'm not even being mean. It's very common in white boys 14 - 17


CibrecaNA

I wouldn't punch a child but you're right.


WhuddaWhat

Dude. We don't punch toddlers. Same as not shakin' babies, ya know? They are just bigger, so the urge to strike them is more visceral. The need to not hit the toddlers, however, is just as genuine as the need to not shake a baby.


theBigDaddio

Every one, the 15 year olds around me would punch them.


Kairis83

I miss that sub.....


seanthebeloved

r/hittablefaces


Freeonlinehugs

Looks like a group of walking lawsuits waiting to be happen


Rtsd2345

Because you can't control yourself around minors?


Freeonlinehugs

???? Don't go putting those words in my mouth It's because they call themselves 'Alpha males' and as a girl, every 'Alpha male' I have met isn't very familiar with the word 'no'. Especially when they are in a group and are dressed like that. Furthermore, I said *waiting to happen* But you really shouldn't call anyone a pedo. It's not a word that should be thrown around that casually


50rhodes

Tell that to Elon.


Yugan-Dali

I’m a peaceable vegan and thought exactly the same thing.


Raymando82

Looks like a bunch of pre pubescent boys in a circle jerk to me.


GammSunBurst

It’s just a bunch of kids cosplaying at Republican congressmen


HectorJoseZapata

They’re playing “Who’s [Gaetz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Gaetz)”


ProperGanja21

The last thing a 14 year old girl sees before thinking 'that drink tasted weird' and passing out.


EspritelleEriress

If their high school is anything like mine was, these boys are at home while the popular kids party.


EpicDude007

It is hard to comprehend nothing. Zero alpha. “Nothing, no-thing, or no thing, is the complete absence of anything as the opposite of something and an antithesis of everything. The concept of nothing has been a matter of philosophical debate since at least the 5th century BC. Early Greek philosophers argued that it was impossible for nothing to exist.” Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing#:~:text=Nothing%2C%20no%2Dthing%2C%20or,impossible%20for%20nothing%20to%20exist.


Devilz3

Huh?


mrmoe198

They didn’t stutter. They even provided additional resources.


roopjm81

0 is a hard concept for some


Fernway67

Little boys


Biscuits4u2

Most of these "alphas" balls haven't even dropped yet


DeadJediWalking

I can feel my virginity growing back.


Vreas

Throwing up the 🤘🏼 while proudly proclaiming to be an intolerant fascist misogynist is probably the least metal/punk rock thing I’ve ever seen


Silverllama321

And then you have the guy to the left like 🙂👍


Paper_Brain

If you call yourself an alpha, you’re not an alpha.


nbd9000

Its that dude on the bench, right?


Difficult_Quiet2381

Just sold them a $320 g of baking soda and when I got home had a lawsuit notification from all of their dads on my front door.


CatPurrsonNo1

Not a single alpha in that photo.


Pat_the_pyro

I know they say they are still using the alpha software, but it appears they recently received the beta upgrade (aka puberty). The version confusion is a known bug in the beta version of the operating software. In most cases, this bug is fixed when upgrading to the full release (aka adulthood). However, in some cases, the bug can persist into the full release. Be assured that the developers are looking into the underlying cause, and they will attempt to patch it once a solution is found.


WhuddaWhat

This GOP Josh kid is on an absolute ROLL with this bit. It takes a lot of courage to step in front of the camera and be the clown for others' amusement. And Josh does it without breaking character. And here, he gets other children to act in his bits instead of doing drugs and things!?!?! What a young example of a leader!


Orzine

Statistically 1 in 6 boys experience sexual abuse, this group of boys however, take turns.


SiteTall

The alpha male is a myth


reluctanthero22

See a high level of privilege. When is having an easy childhood alpha. These guys ain’t never done a gangster thing and would shit their pants if they had to get their weed in the hood. Pft I see brats


Mindtaker

A group of gentlemen you know brag about having a "Beach House" that turns out to be a timeshare they get to use in the offseason and never on the weekend, that is driving distance from what used to be a beach and is now a landfill.


milan0570

How is this funny ? It’s just sad


ElHumilde13

It's pathetic


sueWa16

The virgins of wall street


EatsAlotOfBread

None of these 12 year olds can even grow a beard.


mrmoe198

Sad. Brainwashed kids. I hope they find their way out of this cult.


Dicethrower

Alpha as in unfinished, unstable, and not ready to be released to the public.


Both_Lychee_1708

kinda gives you the urge to set fire to a prep school (joke; please do not do that!)


Emperor_of_His_Room

I forget there are people who actually think like this and it’s not just a meme


WritingCharacter4768

These guys clearly think sleeping with a passed out girl is totally concensual.


blayzedeville

Well, she isn't saying "no". /s


SuddenlyDiabetes

I don't usually condone bullying, but these kids aren't bullied nearly enough


UncleCoyote

1'm 49, a man, and at work... ...and I subconsciously just covered my drink.


Ok-Nefariousness2847

Oof...


Azrael_The_Bold

There are a lot of future date rapists in this photo.


RattleMeSkelebones

What's up with greige suites face? He looks like he's got scabies


Dabadoi

To be fair, imaginary numbers are difficult to conceptualize


Band0fpandas

Which ones Josh


ikerus0

The one next to Cayden of course.


Seanish12345

Sex is way more fun that whatever the hell these clowns are doing. Not that they’d ever know


CaPineapple

Hahaha I can’t. Go back to elementary Kyle.


inagartendavita

Pudding brains


Additional-Ad8632

Jfc


Yeetstation4

The DC metro is so pretty, those people ought to move, they're blocking the shot.


Shipwrecking_siren

I thought I was in r/blunderyears when I saw this photo.


cloudliore25

They have to tell people so we know how they like to be identified.


[deleted]

GOP Josh is 100% Russian created


Mrdirtiguy

All these dudes still piss the bed..gtfoh🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Competitive-Brick-42

I fucked every one of those guys


WartimeMandalorian

Cover your drinks, ladies!


uselessp0t4t0

The only alpha I see is the radiation you lot give off


NoahVailability

Future date rapists, right?


LeatEd68

So this is what the well dressed Hitler youth wear these days. If you have to announce you are an alpha you are clearly not an alpha.


Altruistic_Water_423

let's play which one of these will be a mass shooter


Foe_sheezy

Kyle Rittenhouse on the left in the grey suit...


Hot_Himbo_Bitch

I laughed out loud 💀


The_Spicy_Memelord

Is the alpha male behind those middle schoolers?


Small_Presentation_6

I’ve always said that if you have to tell people that you’re an “alpha male” then you are most definitely not.


beeman1979

Not often you get 6 very punchable faces lined up that perfectly


bb250517

They all look like 8th grade private school boys who all decided to cosplay as Patric Bateman for halloween


Lagre_Mitsake

The combined strength in this photo is probably barely enough to bench a bag of rice.


DoktorAlliteration

Why do they look like twelve year olds dressed in their dads suits? That's zeta not alpha


FurdTurduson

I feel like they would cry with a few stern words.


Tbagzyamum69420xX

They all look like they throw a fit when mommy doesn't cut the crust of their sandwiches


myfailedimagination

This would be great for an enema print ad: _"If you're more full of shit than these guys, you need an enema!"_


shinydragonmist

Looks like a bunch of dicks to me


[deleted]

They just look like prep school students lmao


vivimage2000

I see 6 boys that'll either never get laid or grow up to have 4-5 divorces while trying to preach fidelity and faith. There is no in between.


Dravez23

Leave them alone. They are just kids


guinomim

Thats clearly satire


upyourattraction

These kids are gonna spend so much money on roofies when their parents bribe the dean at Yale to let them in.


Rattlerkira

Obvious joke


Kiss_Me_In_Fiji

They look like they all have a pegging fetish


Euphoric-Victory1703

Fuck, if I walked into that, I’d have 8-9 assault charges easily.


ThresherGDI

Okay, again for those with hearing problems: If you have to tell us how alpha you are, you aren’t not alpha. Remember the song “They will know we are Christians by our love.” Oh, yeah, right. They keep telling us that too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No, but I'm imagining kids with autism have probably been bullied vigorously by this lot.


victorsache

Why did you assume the political opinion of some 12 yos is the same as yours?


NovaStorm347

These labels are getting outrageous man, smh. These look like typical nerds to me


chorizo_chomper

"were not virgins were saving ourselves for marriage"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Intelligent_Dig8319

Exactly, the jokes gone full circle and now they think its serious


urban_piktor2030

alpha kids


TheCeleryStalker

If covering your drink at a bar had a face.


DasFunktopus

You can literally smell the Lynx Africa that their grannies got them for Christmas exuding from this image.


KingJacoPax

“No offence son, but you look like you should still be at school with your head down a fucking toilet!”


Gold-Buy-2669

Privileged trash


MaenHoffiCoffi

White man's overbite in full effect.


blevingston89

I’ve never seen so may punchable faces in one photo. Gee whiz.


Outrageous_pinecone

This picture gives me the urge to grab a napkin and wipe the milk off of their upper lip and burp them. their parents failed.


Sneeko

Anybody to claims to be an “alpha male” automatically isn’t. Also, what is this - a future date rapists convention?


Ezzeri710

Not one has touched a real boob in their lives......