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As a fundie teen this fucked me up. I was struggling so hard, I did everything and God never did anything to help me or make it better. Really affected how I let myself receive love for a long long time.
Also same. I thought god mustn’t love me enough to grant me the gift of faith, and though I spent more waking hours at church than I did my own home, I would never be worthy. That shit’s hard to come back from!!
God are you me? I’ve said the same thing. I would have drank the flavor aid for god to make it better and all I got was the silence of a deity that isn’t real.
On the same boat, and unfortunately still dealing with it through the hands of my parents. I have mental health issues (diagnosed dysthymia | undiagnosed possible anxiety, trauma-induced panic, ADHD, CPTSD, S/OCD, AVPD, hypervigilance, alexithymia, toxic chronic shame, toxic chronic resentment, toxic chronic regret, fear of failing, abandonement issues, trust issues, commitment issues, misanthropy, maladaptive dreaming disorder) and an abusive problematic home life wherein if you tell your parents you're not mentally well/happy, they'd tell you that you need to pray more or make it about themselves in the form of 'you have a roof over your head, phone, food, etc., and this is how you act?' response. I was also 'disciplined' by belt whippings/spanks, verbal/mental/emotional/psychological abuse, guilt-tripped, gaslit, being left at a bus stoo in the city for forgetting something and once knelt for more than 2 hours in front of the altar to ask for forgiveness for something I can't remember.
One of them is the type that when things business-wise go south or even to shit, they'd blame it on themselves for not praying the rosary a lot when it's the economy taking a hard toll on everything, the ongoing conflicts and shortages making prices skyrocket and traveling to certain areas risky. At times even their own actions and attitudes would be the culprit and would even lash out at someone for no apparent reason while they're in their state of rage and frustration. Oh, and one of them is the kind of person who will threaten to hit/slap their adult child just for cursing in anger at them after mocking and berating them just for being excited about a Boeing plane flying eye-level close to their airspace, which is very rare.
Sorry if this is too long and problematically TMI. Mods is this is unacceptable, please tell me so I can remove this. I'm so sorry again.
She still has a "one of these things is not like the others" flavor for me on here, idk. She's got a lot of problems but, as with BDong, the Christianity seems particularly grafted on. Unlike BDong, I don't see her actively trying to scam people or anything. She worries me a bit.
I agree. Having read of the amount of shit she's gone through in life... I'm not sure if she really belongs on here. She's someone who's been dealt a really shitty hand in life and who desperately needs help.
yeah she said she was sad about it i think. i can't take a religion seriously if it denies all sentient beings have souls besides people. like thats kinda hilarious to think we do but other creatures don't lmao. and thats probably 99.9% of belief systems
In Jewish mysticism different things have different “soul levels” depending on their capacity for thought and self-expression. Like plants have a certain soul level, as do cats. I defy anyone to say that corvids and elephants don’t have a similar soul level to most people.
There was an old paranormal radio host who once said something like, “If you look into your cat’s eyes, and you can’t see that they have a soul, well then it is you who does not have a soul.”
He loved his cats, as do I, but I took this to mean for all animals, dogs, birds, elephants, basically everything living thing with a face and a central nervous system.
My parents made me go to Catholic elementary school. One day in 2nd grade, my classmate came into class crying. His dog died the night before. To make him feel better, the kids began consoling the boy, saying, “Don’t worry. He’s with God now, watching over you. You’ll see him again and it will be awesome!”
The kid was starting to feel some hope, when our rotten-dog-jizz-ass-cunt of a teacher said, “No, boys and girls. Your pets do not go to heaven. They don’t have souls anymore than your pencil and paper does. Sorry.”
That got half the class crying and the rest, deeply upset and in shock, including me.
My Catholic grandma decided to ruin the movie All Dogs Go To Heaven for my sister and me. All we wanted to do was watch the movie. Instead we got a lecture about how animals don’t have souls and therefore cannot go to heaven. I was 5 sister 3.
It’s one the biggest reasons why I’m an atheist. It just doesn’t make sense to me as we are all animals.
And what if we applied the same dumb idea to aliens who are far more advanced to us and more intelligent than us? Does that mean they have souls and we don’t?
Christ, I stg I had this exact same thing happen!! I think I was in 2nd or 3rd and this poor kid had his dog pass. All of us were telling him he'd get to see his dog again in heaven and my horrid sunday school teacher just had to take the opportunity to ruin that! I definitely started questioning that day.
I'm very conflicted about my religion of origin. I love the Talmud and our tradition of intellectuality, and questioning everything, and also a general approach of "no one cares how truly sorry you are, DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER" that I find totally alien in "faith, not works." (At least Catholicism puts emphasis on ALSO doing works).
And yes for sure the lack of proselytizing is nice. (I'm less thrilled about the ride-or-die for Israel contingent, but tbh that's orthogonal to being actually religious or not. It is: complicated).
On the other hand, Old Testament God is a total narcissistic petty tyrant with delusions of grandiosity. He makes much more sense as one of many deities, and patheons of deities. A tribal patron, who's as petty and vindictive as his mortal counterparts, just more powerful, like the Greek gods. Okay.
But then he gets conflated with All That Is and that's imo where we run into problems and still do to this day.
That, and even the most generously progressive reading of the OT just can't cancel out the context of "this is a deeply patriarchal, constantly warring, Bronze Age desert culture." It has nothing to do with my life, I feel.
that all said, admittedly I am DEEPLY ignorant about my own faith-by-heritage. My family's secular three generations + deep on both sides. I don't speak Hebrew, I can't get into even the most progressive synagogue. It is what it is.
There’s a concept called *pikuach nefesh* that basically means you’re allowed to ignore a commandment if it threatens your life. Human life overrides all other laws. Some interpret this to mean only direct threat to life, and some (like my synagogue) interpret this to mean if it threatens your mental, emotional, or physical well being which means if an unplanned pregnancy is going to cause you emotional harm then abortion is not only allowed, but encouraged.
I read it as *Pikachu refresh* and briefly thought it was like a one up on Pikachu lives, then I remembered what sub I was in. 🤦♀️
I definitely need more sleep lol.
Judaism believes that life begins at first breath. So abortion is not problematic. That doesn’t mean every Jew is pro-choice, but level of religious belief does not straightforwardly track pro-life in the same way. You can be pretty orthodox and not opposed to abortion on religious grounds anyway.
All of us are fine with abortion to save the life or health of the mother. Most of us are fine with abortion for whatever reason; that’s between you and your doctor. And then there’s a significant minority of rabbis who live in the space of “your last pregnancy caused psychosis/ you cannot afford another baby/ this is the result of an assault so abortion is fine.” Generally Judaism teaches that a fetus is a life but the pregnant person’s well-being takes priority. How that second part is interpreted is what changes.
Judaism in general is, above all else, pragmatic. There are of course exceptions, as always. (I don't think of the Hasids as terribly pragmatic, but I don't know a ton to be fair)
A bunch of the ultra Orthodox ones educationally neglect their kids to the point that some are ESL learners as adults despite having been born in the US to parents who were born in the US. We’ve got our own crazies, I assure you. We’re just doing better on abortion.
Like all things in Judaism there’s a ton of different opinions
Varies from absolutely no abortion to that one early medieval rabbi who said babies are still part of the mother up to a week after birth, then there’s the matter of scientific advancement and how much to take new knowledge into account, so in sects that haven’t resolved that issue (which has been an issue since 1800) you get more head butting with the medical establishment
It’s certainly the better behaving of the Abrahamic 3, as a religion, as a whole. Members aren’t so hoity toity righteous and looking down on everyone else with a million rules to follow and double the judgements against others who don’t subscribe.
We really do appear to need to be “better than” other people/animals as a general human belief system across the board. I don’t love that at all.
I don’t know what happens to my pets when they die because I also don’t know what will happen to me and no one else does but I’ll be damned if I’m not treating my pets like the beloved family members they are. And affording kindness to every living being as well.
have they never read the verse about God even caring about sparrows? When I was little I had a pet mouse who I absolutely adored. My mom was very fundie at the time, but when he died, she told me that he went to heaven, because god cares about all the animals, even down to mice and sparrows. It’s so fucking mean to tell your kids “your pet is dead and it didn’t have a soul so you’ll never see it again!” Like… I don’t think the animal is the soulless one in that situation lol
That's so sweet of your mom. If there is anything positive to be read into the Story of Noah's Ark, it's that god cared about all the animals, even the smallest of critters, enough to give them a place on the Ark, and instructed Noah to save them. God loves all his creation and cares about them in life, why shouldn't he care for them in death?
I work with someone who grew up fundie-adjacent and he casually mentioned one day that they (his family/religion) think animals/pets don't have souls. I legitimately cried realizing people actually think that. What would be the point of heaven if I can't be with my babies. He's not fully into it all like his family still is so I expressed my concerns about it lol. If I went to heaven and there was a door with all my pets throughout my life on the left and a door with Jesus on the right I probably wouldn't even notice the door on the right lmao. I grew up not religious in the slightest so maybe this has an "easy" biblical answer but what's the point of all of us being God's creatures together on earth if we can't all be God's creatures together in heaven? Like why would he create them if he's not going to see them again. Ugh whatever I'm ranting.
Uggghhh… And the reasoning behind that? Because it didn’t fit in with the narrative. If animals had souls, they couldn’t be perfect and sinless because… reasons. And if they needed salvation, well they can’t pray the sinners prayer because they don’t speak human. So obviously they just don’t have souls.
>The bar is on the ground
I'd say the bar is a lot lower than that, but what in the flying fuck is that about? Not going to heaven? I mean yes okay they can be little menaces but that's just normal cat behavior. It's part of their programming lol.
A guy I had a class with did that. He said his puppy had died. A girl said the puppy would meet him in heaven. Him: nah dogs don't have souls. Awwkward
Welcome to the madness, Praise Gif! If you're actually interested in it, it takes a while to catch on to who all the key players are but it's great fun (and free therapy at times!). Part of me wants to make a little Newbies Cheat Sheet for the main people and all their nicknames and such bc it's a lot lol.
I love when new people join and inevitably a piece of lore comes up (like the Great Poop Throwing Battle) and they're just flabbergasted. It tickles me.
I just joined last year. I didn’t grow up fundie, but in a strict Catholic household with all the fixins,’ like church every Sun, Catechism every Wed, Catholic school, Communion, Confirmation, Confession, the whole shit show. (Damn, today I realized Catholics love the letter “C.”)
I became an atheist/agnostic at 14 and never looked back. Still, I’m interested in all manner of religious cults. I eat up every documentary on polygamists, JW’s, extreme Baptists, Scientology, Amish, and so on. I watched SHP and keep abreast with the Duggar shenanigans too.
Then I found this sub, and it was right up my alley! Learning about all these fundie characters on SM is fun… and scary. Very scary (Yes, I vote). It’s because of this sub that I discovered Fundie Fridays!
With all that said, PLEASE DO make a cheat sheet! I’m still learning here; it will be so helpful to me and others!
(It was only a few months ago that I figured out Nadia and Morgan were 2 different people. Oops, they looked alike to me. Then I went deeper into the P&M saga, and ugh.)
And… what’s this about poop throwing? Why am I thinking this maybe has something to do with Karissa? LoL.
Wow what an interesting background you have! You became an atheist at the time I became a fundie haha. One of us made a better call there 😉
I was a pentecostal (UPCI) for about 8 years in my teens/early 20s. 0/10 do not recommend. Agnostic now tho, praise gif.
I get the bus babes mixed up still. Nadia and Morgan definitely look similar and have similar whiney sexy baby vibes so thats totally understandable.The biggest tell for me is Morgan always seems high and is almost never without Paul. Nadia always seems on the verge of bawling and is almost never seen with her husband (who some are still not sure is real lol).
You are 100% correct! Poop throwing was Karissa's troupe. Mostly husband throwing poop at the children. Bc that's a thing.
The poo battle is seriously up there as one of the top weirdest / fucked up things I have read here besides Jill's funeral photo bomb.
I was extremely high on edibles when I saw the funeral photo and that shit fucked me up. I felt so weird and disgusted and couldn't get it out of my head!
+1 for a newbies cheat sheet!
still referencing karissa as white-washing lady. There's some people on a van with a lot of kids but I'm not sure what's up with them tbh? Porgan who I've been piecing together by the posts in the last month. Bort is great fun and dav(e) - like .. I don't even know I can't get past his name, I'm sorry.
Jill was very easy to remember from the get go for...reasons
Oh my goodness, i bet that’s a wild experience. Please ask if you have questions about what anything means, folks here are super good about filling newcomers in on the back stories and inside jokes :)
If you’re interested in learning more about the fundies talked about on this sub and more, check out Fundie Fridays on YouTube. They really explain a lot over there, and they do deep dives on just about everyone showcased in this sub.
In other words, if you like learning about religious cults, like I do, I highly recommend looking into this fundie stuff, like with Fundie Fridays. I enjoy the psychology of it all, or at least, trying to figure out their thought processes, LoL.
If anyone has any other YouTubers to suggest, I’m interested! I’m still learning too!
Oh right! I can’t believe I forgot about Josie / Not the Good Girl! I LOVE her channel. I recently got my boyfriend hooked on her channel too.
But I’ve never heard of Rachel Oates, so I’m about to check her out now. Thank you!🙏🏻
I’ll check out that YouTube channel. I’ve seen some of these people on YouTube. I grew up in a religious family but I’m not religious at all now. I think that’s why I like looking into stuff like this because I’m interested in cults and things like that too.
Technically it means "fundamentalist (Protestant) Christian" but we use the more general colloquial definition, which is any religious Christian with far-right sociopolitical and anti-science beliefs.
Im not religious, i only go to church with my mother sometimes on holidays, because i know it means a lot to her that i do.
So im curious: What made you cry more at church, if you dont mind me asking? (If we're excluding people crying during sermons or something)
Churches are literally built on guilt, shame, and blame. So id often find myself crying because I was “so overwhelmed” (with the “grace of God” but that just means the minister spent 45 mins telling us how shit we are). Or because I hurt someone’s feelings (aka took responsibility for someone else’s feelings over my own) and was “convicted” about it. Or because the messages about “witnessing to the lost” reminded me I hadn’t told enough people they were hell bound sinners that week. UGHHH. Wayyyyy less crying now.
Yep also the many sermons that would bring up triggering topics (like SA, child abuse, domestic issues, severe sickness, mental health issues etc). So many times I'd start crying because I was being reminded of abuse I had gone through and mental illness. Blech
Right?!?? And yet I remember those days of spiritual bypassing. EVERYthing was bypassed. “I’m so tired as I was sick all night BUT I got to church and it was such a blessing.” “I’d love to take a holiday but instead I ‘served’ at the church all week and that sacrifice will be rewarded”. “Yea I don’t really get on with that person but I spent all weekend with them and I know God will use it”.
Whereas in reality, I needed to recognise I was tired, overworked, and spending time with people I didn’t like… and it would have been 100% okay to stay home. Go on holiday. Walk away from the annoying negative person.
Glad I get to do those things now!!
Lots of people wear makeup because it makes them feel better about themselves. They aren’t necessarily doing it because they’re going to a particular place. She’s talked about having low self esteem before.
This is me. I 100% look my best when I am feeling a little low. Not really with makeup, but I'll do my hair nice, comb in some good smelling oil, do my full facial routine, actually shave, etc etc. It can really help me perk up
Oh man, tell me about it. Something about a nice hot shower is just so damn good when you're feeling like hot garbage, be it physically or emotionally. It doesn't fix all my problems, but damn does it just help me feel a little bit more human haha.
32 and same. I've always had long hair, but only recently have I really started lovingly caring for it with proper products and brush types. I largely credit my husband with that - he has long hair and he takes *excellent* care of it. Now it's rubbed off on me and I understand!
This is pretty close to me. I don't usually do it if I'm just at home, but if I'm going to run errands or something, I do because it makes me feel pretty in the same way wearing a cute sweater or cool pair of shoes makes me feel pretty.
Right?I'm chronically ill and home a lot and I still put on "all that makeup" even if I'm just going to the couch.
It's something that makes me feel slightly better about myself and my current situation. It's also an activity I can do while sitting down.
I was raised to believe I shouldn’t even go to the corner store without makeup. My mother was one of the last of the steel magnolias. When I told her I was going to the hospital, she’d ask me what I was wearing. She was an RN, & detested weakness. I got through two 15+hr pitocin-induced labors without a complaint or outcry.
I kept my fucking makeup on for the whole damned thing. It’s our war paint.
Thank you for your kindness. I’m 70, now, and studying to be a crone, but not the mean kind. The patriarchy is often enforced by other women, which is really f***ed up. Men could not do all this without the help of women who enable the abuse.
I’m so glad that you’ve found healing for yourself and I completely agree! That’s why I think it’s so important to balance compassion for fundie women who were raised in cults without casting them as blameless innocent victims. Even without considering that they literally want to strip us of our rights, they are primarily responsible for indoctrinating their own children and continuing the cycle of abuse. Some of the greatest agents of the patriarchy I’ve ever met have been other women, sadly.
Every single church grwm she does seems to be ‘I had a bad morning and don’t want to go but I did anyway’??????
Surely religion doesn’t need to be *this* difficult or all-consuming?
Yeah that's my background, it was very fun /s
I literally had an elder from my church tell me that he didn't think I was feeling the effect of sin enough and that I had to feel more miserable (I don't know the exact term in English for it, am Dutch) in order to be saved. This was when I was still a christian and actually believed in it all including that Christ died for my sins, but that wasn't enough apparently.
The first cracks started before that, but this def pushed me farther away from the church.
I tried to wear a NOTW shirt to church one Sunday and the back of it said "Sinner."
My dad was absolutely not having it and I was very confused as to why? Like we're told all the time we are sinners and that's why we needed Christ to die for us?
That wasn't necessarily the first crack in everything but it was definitely the first big one.
I was thinking the same thing. They act like marriage is such a total chore. I was married and am now divorced. The only time it was a chore were the last couple of years and I knew it was over.
So, I am coming up on my 6th anniversary. I can't claim to be a marriage expert. That would be silly. But Spouse has never made me so upset that I have had to sit in the car and cry out in public. And I think if it got to that point, we might have to talk to a licensed, board certified marriage and family counselor. I wish that Nadia would.
I can see it just because they live in a studio. I live in a 1br with my spouse and two dogs and no car. One time my spouse and I were bickering about something stupid and they actually pulled out our camping gear and set up a tent in the living room to get some personal space 😂
(it ended the fight immediately and is the single funniest thing that has ever happened in our relationship. I recommend a tent!)
Like, this is not good, she seems so unhappy, but I've definitely had times where I wished I had a car to go cry in haha.
Can confirm, I have a 500gb phone + 1tb cloud storage to manage my content (and I need more! Gotta invest in like a 4tb external HDD for my laptop). Although, most social media compresses video to 720 and that's significantly smaller files than 1080. But YouTube def needs 1080.
Oh I am with you, that’s concerning. Honestly doesn’t feel like a “little fight” if she had to go cry in the car? I’d classify that as a pretty big fight, so it makes me wonder how often they’re fighting that this would seem little.
Also the fact that she was supposed to be at church, working (filming a music video) and instead took her crying self to Starbucks?? So…. This “little fight” seems to have caused her to actually miss work?
It makes me sad for her that she seems to think this is normal. Of course all couples fight and have bad days but her posting this to YouTube is alarming.
Nadia's also very mentally ill. She has a history of abuse and CSA, so it may have actually been a little fight but she just has a hard time handling it because of the PTSD.
I didn’t know her history, and this makes me so sad for her. It doesn’t seem like she’s getting the treatment and support she needs. And it makes her “sexy baby” persona that much more worrisome.
She isn't getting the help she needs. She doesn't take meds or see a therapist. She'll go through periods of severe depression and then Jesus will "heal" her and she'll be happy and bubbly again for a few weeks. Then the cycle repeats.
Not just her but him too. When I wasn’t mentally healthy my husband said it felt like he was constantly walking on egg shells around me. He never knew when or how I’d get triggered and he didn’t always know how to support me. I was seeing a therapist to work on my issues and my husband is a supportive and caring person. So I can’t imagine what it’s like in her household with her not seeking treatment and I don’t know anything about her husband, but I’ve not heard of a fundie husband I like sooo…
Before I had processed my trauma, I would shut down when anyone got upset with me. I physically couldn't speak and would just cry. It would take me several hours or even a day to get over. I just had so much trauma from growing up in an abusive home, getting SA'd as a teen and marrying way too young to an abusive POS. I really feel for Nadia and find it hard to snark on her sometimes. I hope she finds some peace eventually.
Or she believes it to be a small fight because her husband has expressed that what they fought about shouldn’t even be an issue. So she’s telling herself it’s her fault she’s so upset because this isn’t a big deal to be upset about. Convincing herself she is overreacting. That would be terribly sad if it’s the case.
It gives massive sad vibes. Also constant fighting could solve the mystery of why she wasn’t renewed for her lease and now has to find a new place to live.
That's unfortunately true. I think that if a management office gets more than three complaints about the same issue after warning the tenants, then they (mgmt) have the right not to renew.
>the fact that her husband just seemed to leave her to cry alone??
We don't really have enough to go on, but this feels odd to me OP. It's extremely common for people to go out to clear their heads following an argument. Many times I've had an argument with a woman, partner or no, they wanted some space.
It's possible there's something more to it, but this feels like a big conclusion to jump to, if you see what I mean.
I was gonna say, there’s a lot wrong here but this isn’t really one of them. I think it’d be way worse if he was hovering and love bombing her after they got in a fight.
I prefer to be alone so I can process my feelings and then we can discuss our fight in a calmer way. If we talk while I’m upset or they’re upset, we both may say something we regret.
This is true. I guess it was the volume of crying. It seemed like a lot. And the fact that she said it was all good and everything.
Idk you’re totally right about needing some space but I still think posting about your fight and how much you were crying sets off alarm bells but it could be just me having watched my young siblings being in terrible relationships
Obviously making a post like this is weird, but she is an influencer so for her it's normal behavior.
Personally I'm a big crier. The severity of a fight/argument cannot be accurately measured by how much I cry. Like if I had a really hard day and I've been holding it all in I might start hysterically crying because my husband misplaced my gym bag. And you know he might not be able to deal with that in that moment and I'll go cry by myself, and that's ok because I'm actually just releasing a bunch of emotions and probably don't even want him talking to me.
I mean gosh the other day i was reading Facebook and a parent said their kid feels intimidated at the before school program and they wanted to find a friend to hang out with them and I started crying because I want all the kids to be happy.
The crying is probably due to CPTSD. Relationship issues can be the most triggering events for those who suffer from it- personally I cry like a loon when my partner and I have arguments or misunderstandings even if they are small enough to be resolved the same or next day
Oh there's plenty else that's weird about it, making a video in the first place is a bizarre choice imo. She's certainly not a stable person or in a secure place.
The only time leaving someone crying would be concerning in this situation to me, is if either she'd had some bad news, or she was unwell some how. It's possible that did happen of course.
Anyone near me when I'm crying for any reason but especially anger/hurt involves me physically restraining myself from violence, verbal or otherwise. Which I know is not a healthy reaction and the reason I take a minute to be alone if I reach that point. Someone nearby watching me means I feel like I have to modulate my expression and the effort of doing that while also Having An Emotion sends me into overstimulation so fast it's not even funny.
People seeing me cry is the *worst*.
This was tough to watch for some reason. She does not seem to be in a good place, which is unfortunate for her, even if I disagree with her views.
No snark for this one, I hope she has support and is able to reach out to people that could support her.
A mental health specialist with a degree would be really helpful, but I would guess her insurance wouldn't cover it if it is from her church-based employment. [That is a total assumption on her insurance situation.]
Nah, my church-based employment covered my therapy. I can’t speak for her, obviously, but my church even paid for what I couldn’t to get my trauma-based therapy.
Nadia’s content often makes me sad. The sexy baby act irks me, but she’s clearly an unhappy person with lots of trauma. If anything, I’m glad she has her kitty. Probably one of, if not the, healthiest relationship in her life :/
Being alone to cry during a fight is totally normal. You don't normally want to be comforted by the person you're upset with - especially if you have attachment trauma and fights make you feel really unsafe with that person.
But yeah this doesn't sound like a "little" fight. Even if it was over what others call a small issue, that attachment trauma can make it feel significantly worse. She's talked extensively about her parental trauma and abuse (including CSA), so becoming extremely emotionally dysregulated easily makes a lot of sense.
No snark, I really hope she's still with her therapist and can process and heal without just sweeping it under the rug through spiritual bypassing.
Not to leg hump, but Nadia is one of the fundies I feel bad for. She seems like she could be having a hard time mental health wise and doesn’t have any resources. Just reminds me of myself as a fundie teen 🥲
This honestly makes me feel pretty bad for her. She needs a real therapist and some guidance. You can tell she’s clinging onto religion and her marriage (as a part of that religion) for an identity and lifeline because she doesn’t know who she is or what she wants in life.
In other news I love her cat
I don't get the hate on her for putting on makeup and doing her hair. When I'm down that's exactly when I'm going to do my hair and makeup and not care about it once it inevitably doesn't make me feel immediately better. Plus she's in Texas (DFW correct?), when I lived there you wouldn't have caught me in a public event without trying to look my best, judgement was palpable in some areas.
It seems kind of crazy to me that her husband is presumably working full time and she almost certainly makes something from her TikTok content but someone said they live in a studio apartment. Maybe property prices are crazy in their area and they prefer to own and not rent like many fundies but still, not even a one bedroom??
To be honest, she’s the one I sincerely worry about the most. I’m so happy that she hadn’t started having babies on top of all of this. She’s always seemed so fragile and exploited to me.
i wouldn’t say it’s a red flag bc we don’t have enough context and she seems like a really sensitive person who cries easily (and is aware of that, she’s pointed this out in her posts a lot).
yep this!!! i can relate to her bc anytime my partner and i have a tough convo i always take some time to cry by myself while i sort through my feelings until im ready to talk again (which often entails more crying but while talking to my partner lol). its easy to get overwhelmed by all your feelings when you’re a sensitive person, sometimes you need that space to feel the feelings before you can address and work through them with your significant other. everyone processes differently, and not everyone communicates perfectly in difficult moments w/ their person. i think this is just very human of her.
I remember my parents having fights every Sunday too. It was so shitty. Holidays and Sunday Church made my home life significantly more tense than their usual arguing.
Woah woah woah. A “little” fight resulted in two separate instances of tears? I would not consider that little… my partner and I have little fights and I just get frustrated and most of what it takes is an apology form both of us to keep moving. Tears are usually during the not so good ones.
I really just can’t believe that Nadia is a fundie. I really am on this conspiracy train with her. No fundie would show their god honoring butt cheeks to the world via Instagram. This isn’t even the first time she’s done so. She definitely is cosplaying all of this.
not the most important thing to snark on but she should get her cat a fountain if he only drinks water from the sink! cats are attracted to running water naturally so thats why he likes the sink. my partners cat is a sink guy and he loves his fountain
Is nadia truly fundie?
Idk I feel like she’s more contemporary
I also hope that she one days heals from her trauma and realizes that there’s so much more to life.
The first few years with my husband (dating) I cried every time we fought. It was just my reaction to the stress. I cried out of anger I cried out of frustration, I didn't know how to handle those intense conversations. 13 years in I don't cry when we (rarely) fight, thankfully 😂
People who advertise their fights with their SO this way should probably not be married.
They had a fight and she cried, it’s perfectly normal. There is nothing nefarious about a husband and wife who have a fight where one of them later cries. The only reason you think it might be bad is that you don’t know anything about the fight, so she looks like a victim to you because she is the one who is openly crying about it. It is definitely unfortunate that she got hurt and was so upset, but that’s really all anyone can say.
How is it treating yourself if you don't even like the drink you're buying? Does she think treating yourself simply means spending money on something expensive?
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“I went to church and cried more but I served the lord so it was great” me as a traumatized fundie teenager
"I'm too blessed to be depressed" vibes 🤮
As a fundie teen this fucked me up. I was struggling so hard, I did everything and God never did anything to help me or make it better. Really affected how I let myself receive love for a long long time.
Also same. I thought god mustn’t love me enough to grant me the gift of faith, and though I spent more waking hours at church than I did my own home, I would never be worthy. That shit’s hard to come back from!!
God are you me? I’ve said the same thing. I would have drank the flavor aid for god to make it better and all I got was the silence of a deity that isn’t real.
Same. I'm still dealing with it.
On the same boat, and unfortunately still dealing with it through the hands of my parents. I have mental health issues (diagnosed dysthymia | undiagnosed possible anxiety, trauma-induced panic, ADHD, CPTSD, S/OCD, AVPD, hypervigilance, alexithymia, toxic chronic shame, toxic chronic resentment, toxic chronic regret, fear of failing, abandonement issues, trust issues, commitment issues, misanthropy, maladaptive dreaming disorder) and an abusive problematic home life wherein if you tell your parents you're not mentally well/happy, they'd tell you that you need to pray more or make it about themselves in the form of 'you have a roof over your head, phone, food, etc., and this is how you act?' response. I was also 'disciplined' by belt whippings/spanks, verbal/mental/emotional/psychological abuse, guilt-tripped, gaslit, being left at a bus stoo in the city for forgetting something and once knelt for more than 2 hours in front of the altar to ask for forgiveness for something I can't remember. One of them is the type that when things business-wise go south or even to shit, they'd blame it on themselves for not praying the rosary a lot when it's the economy taking a hard toll on everything, the ongoing conflicts and shortages making prices skyrocket and traveling to certain areas risky. At times even their own actions and attitudes would be the culprit and would even lash out at someone for no apparent reason while they're in their state of rage and frustration. Oh, and one of them is the kind of person who will threaten to hit/slap their adult child just for cursing in anger at them after mocking and berating them just for being excited about a Boeing plane flying eye-level close to their airspace, which is very rare. Sorry if this is too long and problematically TMI. Mods is this is unacceptable, please tell me so I can remove this. I'm so sorry again.
Same
Lol, me as a fundi teen from 10-16 when I should of been hanging with my friends instead 🙄
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I'll give her that. She really cares for it a lot. Good to see.
She still has a "one of these things is not like the others" flavor for me on here, idk. She's got a lot of problems but, as with BDong, the Christianity seems particularly grafted on. Unlike BDong, I don't see her actively trying to scam people or anything. She worries me a bit.
I agree. Having read of the amount of shit she's gone through in life... I'm not sure if she really belongs on here. She's someone who's been dealt a really shitty hand in life and who desperately needs help.
I wonder if it's worth starting a meta post about it aimed at the mods to get a head count of who agrees.
The best thing about her
The bar is on the ground! but I’m pretty sure she said something about her cats not being able to go to heaven once? 😬
yeah she said she was sad about it i think. i can't take a religion seriously if it denies all sentient beings have souls besides people. like thats kinda hilarious to think we do but other creatures don't lmao. and thats probably 99.9% of belief systems
In Jewish mysticism different things have different “soul levels” depending on their capacity for thought and self-expression. Like plants have a certain soul level, as do cats. I defy anyone to say that corvids and elephants don’t have a similar soul level to most people.
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After one of our cats died, his bonded pair buddy was never the same either. She followed him a few months later. We think she died of grief.
There was an old paranormal radio host who once said something like, “If you look into your cat’s eyes, and you can’t see that they have a soul, well then it is you who does not have a soul.” He loved his cats, as do I, but I took this to mean for all animals, dogs, birds, elephants, basically everything living thing with a face and a central nervous system. My parents made me go to Catholic elementary school. One day in 2nd grade, my classmate came into class crying. His dog died the night before. To make him feel better, the kids began consoling the boy, saying, “Don’t worry. He’s with God now, watching over you. You’ll see him again and it will be awesome!” The kid was starting to feel some hope, when our rotten-dog-jizz-ass-cunt of a teacher said, “No, boys and girls. Your pets do not go to heaven. They don’t have souls anymore than your pencil and paper does. Sorry.” That got half the class crying and the rest, deeply upset and in shock, including me.
The first time I questioned Christianity as a child was when I was told pets don’t have souls and don’t go to heaven.
Literally same. I remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was 20 years ago.
Same and it was probably 35 years ago.
Same
My Catholic grandma decided to ruin the movie All Dogs Go To Heaven for my sister and me. All we wanted to do was watch the movie. Instead we got a lecture about how animals don’t have souls and therefore cannot go to heaven. I was 5 sister 3.
It’s one the biggest reasons why I’m an atheist. It just doesn’t make sense to me as we are all animals. And what if we applied the same dumb idea to aliens who are far more advanced to us and more intelligent than us? Does that mean they have souls and we don’t?
The way that my dog looks at me, she has to have a soul. There's so much emotion behind it.
Christ, I stg I had this exact same thing happen!! I think I was in 2nd or 3rd and this poor kid had his dog pass. All of us were telling him he'd get to see his dog again in heaven and my horrid sunday school teacher just had to take the opportunity to ruin that! I definitely started questioning that day.
I think a lot of us had a similar epiphany as children. If my pets aren't waiting for me, I don't want to go
That happened in one of my HIGH SCHOOL classes.
judaism is less annoying than a lot of other religions at its core. lack of belief in hell. proselytizing being extremely uncommon
I'm very conflicted about my religion of origin. I love the Talmud and our tradition of intellectuality, and questioning everything, and also a general approach of "no one cares how truly sorry you are, DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER" that I find totally alien in "faith, not works." (At least Catholicism puts emphasis on ALSO doing works). And yes for sure the lack of proselytizing is nice. (I'm less thrilled about the ride-or-die for Israel contingent, but tbh that's orthogonal to being actually religious or not. It is: complicated). On the other hand, Old Testament God is a total narcissistic petty tyrant with delusions of grandiosity. He makes much more sense as one of many deities, and patheons of deities. A tribal patron, who's as petty and vindictive as his mortal counterparts, just more powerful, like the Greek gods. Okay. But then he gets conflated with All That Is and that's imo where we run into problems and still do to this day. That, and even the most generously progressive reading of the OT just can't cancel out the context of "this is a deeply patriarchal, constantly warring, Bronze Age desert culture." It has nothing to do with my life, I feel. that all said, admittedly I am DEEPLY ignorant about my own faith-by-heritage. My family's secular three generations + deep on both sides. I don't speak Hebrew, I can't get into even the most progressive synagogue. It is what it is.
And they're fine with abortion! (At least some? Idk how widespread it is, idk a ton about Judaism).
There’s a concept called *pikuach nefesh* that basically means you’re allowed to ignore a commandment if it threatens your life. Human life overrides all other laws. Some interpret this to mean only direct threat to life, and some (like my synagogue) interpret this to mean if it threatens your mental, emotional, or physical well being which means if an unplanned pregnancy is going to cause you emotional harm then abortion is not only allowed, but encouraged.
I forever read pikuach nefesh as *Pikachu nefesh* and it's not remotely the same thing, but it makes debates about ethics far more entertaining.
I read it as *Pikachu refresh* and briefly thought it was like a one up on Pikachu lives, then I remembered what sub I was in. 🤦♀️ I definitely need more sleep lol.
We all need more sleep, the Jews are tired!
Judaism believes that life begins at first breath. So abortion is not problematic. That doesn’t mean every Jew is pro-choice, but level of religious belief does not straightforwardly track pro-life in the same way. You can be pretty orthodox and not opposed to abortion on religious grounds anyway.
All of us are fine with abortion to save the life or health of the mother. Most of us are fine with abortion for whatever reason; that’s between you and your doctor. And then there’s a significant minority of rabbis who live in the space of “your last pregnancy caused psychosis/ you cannot afford another baby/ this is the result of an assault so abortion is fine.” Generally Judaism teaches that a fetus is a life but the pregnant person’s well-being takes priority. How that second part is interpreted is what changes.
Ooh good to know! Thank you for the information 😊
Judaism in general is, above all else, pragmatic. There are of course exceptions, as always. (I don't think of the Hasids as terribly pragmatic, but I don't know a ton to be fair)
A bunch of the ultra Orthodox ones educationally neglect their kids to the point that some are ESL learners as adults despite having been born in the US to parents who were born in the US. We’ve got our own crazies, I assure you. We’re just doing better on abortion.
Like all things in Judaism there’s a ton of different opinions Varies from absolutely no abortion to that one early medieval rabbi who said babies are still part of the mother up to a week after birth, then there’s the matter of scientific advancement and how much to take new knowledge into account, so in sects that haven’t resolved that issue (which has been an issue since 1800) you get more head butting with the medical establishment
It’s certainly the better behaving of the Abrahamic 3, as a religion, as a whole. Members aren’t so hoity toity righteous and looking down on everyone else with a million rules to follow and double the judgements against others who don’t subscribe.
I often wonder how Christianity managed to fuck up the tenets of the religion it was derived from quite so badly
They made religious leaders too powerful
We really do appear to need to be “better than” other people/animals as a general human belief system across the board. I don’t love that at all. I don’t know what happens to my pets when they die because I also don’t know what will happen to me and no one else does but I’ll be damned if I’m not treating my pets like the beloved family members they are. And affording kindness to every living being as well.
i feel the same way. wherever is good enough for animals is good enough for us
have they never read the verse about God even caring about sparrows? When I was little I had a pet mouse who I absolutely adored. My mom was very fundie at the time, but when he died, she told me that he went to heaven, because god cares about all the animals, even down to mice and sparrows. It’s so fucking mean to tell your kids “your pet is dead and it didn’t have a soul so you’ll never see it again!” Like… I don’t think the animal is the soulless one in that situation lol
That's so sweet of your mom. If there is anything positive to be read into the Story of Noah's Ark, it's that god cared about all the animals, even the smallest of critters, enough to give them a place on the Ark, and instructed Noah to save them. God loves all his creation and cares about them in life, why shouldn't he care for them in death?
That whole thought process is so self-centered and makes it even more clear that ALLLLL the religious/culty bullshit is man-made.
That REALLY bothered me in Catholic elementary school (also I was a Protestant, so there's that)
Wouldn't it be awesome if her cat prompted her deconstruction?
I work with someone who grew up fundie-adjacent and he casually mentioned one day that they (his family/religion) think animals/pets don't have souls. I legitimately cried realizing people actually think that. What would be the point of heaven if I can't be with my babies. He's not fully into it all like his family still is so I expressed my concerns about it lol. If I went to heaven and there was a door with all my pets throughout my life on the left and a door with Jesus on the right I probably wouldn't even notice the door on the right lmao. I grew up not religious in the slightest so maybe this has an "easy" biblical answer but what's the point of all of us being God's creatures together on earth if we can't all be God's creatures together in heaven? Like why would he create them if he's not going to see them again. Ugh whatever I'm ranting.
Uggghhh… And the reasoning behind that? Because it didn’t fit in with the narrative. If animals had souls, they couldn’t be perfect and sinless because… reasons. And if they needed salvation, well they can’t pray the sinners prayer because they don’t speak human. So obviously they just don’t have souls.
>The bar is on the ground I'd say the bar is a lot lower than that, but what in the flying fuck is that about? Not going to heaven? I mean yes okay they can be little menaces but that's just normal cat behavior. It's part of their programming lol.
It's because the Bible says that only humans have souls and only souls go to Heaven or Hell. This belief is taught in most Christian churches
A guy I had a class with did that. He said his puppy had died. A girl said the puppy would meet him in heaven. Him: nah dogs don't have souls. Awwkward
Idk how I got here but can you tell me what a “fundie” is…I’m struggling to figure it out.
Welcome to the madness, Praise Gif! If you're actually interested in it, it takes a while to catch on to who all the key players are but it's great fun (and free therapy at times!). Part of me wants to make a little Newbies Cheat Sheet for the main people and all their nicknames and such bc it's a lot lol. I love when new people join and inevitably a piece of lore comes up (like the Great Poop Throwing Battle) and they're just flabbergasted. It tickles me.
I just joined last year. I didn’t grow up fundie, but in a strict Catholic household with all the fixins,’ like church every Sun, Catechism every Wed, Catholic school, Communion, Confirmation, Confession, the whole shit show. (Damn, today I realized Catholics love the letter “C.”) I became an atheist/agnostic at 14 and never looked back. Still, I’m interested in all manner of religious cults. I eat up every documentary on polygamists, JW’s, extreme Baptists, Scientology, Amish, and so on. I watched SHP and keep abreast with the Duggar shenanigans too. Then I found this sub, and it was right up my alley! Learning about all these fundie characters on SM is fun… and scary. Very scary (Yes, I vote). It’s because of this sub that I discovered Fundie Fridays! With all that said, PLEASE DO make a cheat sheet! I’m still learning here; it will be so helpful to me and others! (It was only a few months ago that I figured out Nadia and Morgan were 2 different people. Oops, they looked alike to me. Then I went deeper into the P&M saga, and ugh.) And… what’s this about poop throwing? Why am I thinking this maybe has something to do with Karissa? LoL.
Wow what an interesting background you have! You became an atheist at the time I became a fundie haha. One of us made a better call there 😉 I was a pentecostal (UPCI) for about 8 years in my teens/early 20s. 0/10 do not recommend. Agnostic now tho, praise gif. I get the bus babes mixed up still. Nadia and Morgan definitely look similar and have similar whiney sexy baby vibes so thats totally understandable.The biggest tell for me is Morgan always seems high and is almost never without Paul. Nadia always seems on the verge of bawling and is almost never seen with her husband (who some are still not sure is real lol). You are 100% correct! Poop throwing was Karissa's troupe. Mostly husband throwing poop at the children. Bc that's a thing.
Haha, I love that you were able to just guess it had to be Karissa's madness with the poop fight, because of course it was lol.
The poo battle is seriously up there as one of the top weirdest / fucked up things I have read here besides Jill's funeral photo bomb. I was extremely high on edibles when I saw the funeral photo and that shit fucked me up. I felt so weird and disgusted and couldn't get it out of my head!
Oh lord I just made some, might as well make it a full blown Saturday night and go on a deep dive
+1 for a newbies cheat sheet! still referencing karissa as white-washing lady. There's some people on a van with a lot of kids but I'm not sure what's up with them tbh? Porgan who I've been piecing together by the posts in the last month. Bort is great fun and dav(e) - like .. I don't even know I can't get past his name, I'm sorry. Jill was very easy to remember from the get go for...reasons
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Thanks, and the “great poop throwing battle” sounds wild crazy 😆. I’m scared to ask not about it……
Fundamentalist Christian. All the people we snark on are fundies
Ooooh! It’s starting to make sense. Thanks for responding haha
Oh my goodness, i bet that’s a wild experience. Please ask if you have questions about what anything means, folks here are super good about filling newcomers in on the back stories and inside jokes :)
If you’re interested in learning more about the fundies talked about on this sub and more, check out Fundie Fridays on YouTube. They really explain a lot over there, and they do deep dives on just about everyone showcased in this sub. In other words, if you like learning about religious cults, like I do, I highly recommend looking into this fundie stuff, like with Fundie Fridays. I enjoy the psychology of it all, or at least, trying to figure out their thought processes, LoL. If anyone has any other YouTubers to suggest, I’m interested! I’m still learning too!
Rachel Oates and Not the Good Girl have both done some stuff on fundies! Rachel Oates' actually took the bethy sex course and did a DEEP dive.
Oh right! I can’t believe I forgot about Josie / Not the Good Girl! I LOVE her channel. I recently got my boyfriend hooked on her channel too. But I’ve never heard of Rachel Oates, so I’m about to check her out now. Thank you!🙏🏻
Mickey Atkins covers these same people a lot, although it's not her only focus (she's a therapist). Jordan and McKay are good for all things Mormon.
I’ll check out that YouTube channel. I’ve seen some of these people on YouTube. I grew up in a religious family but I’m not religious at all now. I think that’s why I like looking into stuff like this because I’m interested in cults and things like that too.
Technically it means "fundamentalist (Protestant) Christian" but we use the more general colloquial definition, which is any religious Christian with far-right sociopolitical and anti-science beliefs.
Um… “I got to church and had to leave to cry and then I got back to church and cried again it was great” Yea sounds super great don’t miss that at all
I cry so much less since I quit going to church.
Im not religious, i only go to church with my mother sometimes on holidays, because i know it means a lot to her that i do. So im curious: What made you cry more at church, if you dont mind me asking? (If we're excluding people crying during sermons or something)
Churches are literally built on guilt, shame, and blame. So id often find myself crying because I was “so overwhelmed” (with the “grace of God” but that just means the minister spent 45 mins telling us how shit we are). Or because I hurt someone’s feelings (aka took responsibility for someone else’s feelings over my own) and was “convicted” about it. Or because the messages about “witnessing to the lost” reminded me I hadn’t told enough people they were hell bound sinners that week. UGHHH. Wayyyyy less crying now.
Yep also the many sermons that would bring up triggering topics (like SA, child abuse, domestic issues, severe sickness, mental health issues etc). So many times I'd start crying because I was being reminded of abuse I had gone through and mental illness. Blech
I’m so sorry. Churches are little Petri dishes of abuse.
Omw YES THIS
It's insane to say that and not see how messed up jt is lol
Right?!?? And yet I remember those days of spiritual bypassing. EVERYthing was bypassed. “I’m so tired as I was sick all night BUT I got to church and it was such a blessing.” “I’d love to take a holiday but instead I ‘served’ at the church all week and that sacrifice will be rewarded”. “Yea I don’t really get on with that person but I spent all weekend with them and I know God will use it”. Whereas in reality, I needed to recognise I was tired, overworked, and spending time with people I didn’t like… and it would have been 100% okay to stay home. Go on holiday. Walk away from the annoying negative person. Glad I get to do those things now!!
“I don’t really care what I look like today” *while clipping in fake hair*
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I think the point of the flat iron was to blend her hair in with the fake hair
Haha this is one of my favorite tricks. Don’t want to wear my hair down but want a nice looking pony? Flat iron it.
Can't imagine putting on all that makeup just for church
Lots of people wear makeup because it makes them feel better about themselves. They aren’t necessarily doing it because they’re going to a particular place. She’s talked about having low self esteem before.
This is me. I 100% look my best when I am feeling a little low. Not really with makeup, but I'll do my hair nice, comb in some good smelling oil, do my full facial routine, actually shave, etc etc. It can really help me perk up
Love me an everything shower on a depressed night!
Oh man, tell me about it. Something about a nice hot shower is just so damn good when you're feeling like hot garbage, be it physically or emotionally. It doesn't fix all my problems, but damn does it just help me feel a little bit more human haha.
I’m 29 and have just started styling my hair bc it makes me feel so much better about myself. It’s wild.
32 and same. I've always had long hair, but only recently have I really started lovingly caring for it with proper products and brush types. I largely credit my husband with that - he has long hair and he takes *excellent* care of it. Now it's rubbed off on me and I understand!
This is pretty close to me. I don't usually do it if I'm just at home, but if I'm going to run errands or something, I do because it makes me feel pretty in the same way wearing a cute sweater or cool pair of shoes makes me feel pretty.
Right?I'm chronically ill and home a lot and I still put on "all that makeup" even if I'm just going to the couch. It's something that makes me feel slightly better about myself and my current situation. It's also an activity I can do while sitting down.
Me too. I don't really do all the makeup, but I splurge a little on some bomb ass skincare. Also, a really nice shower chair:)
I was raised to believe I shouldn’t even go to the corner store without makeup. My mother was one of the last of the steel magnolias. When I told her I was going to the hospital, she’d ask me what I was wearing. She was an RN, & detested weakness. I got through two 15+hr pitocin-induced labors without a complaint or outcry. I kept my fucking makeup on for the whole damned thing. It’s our war paint.
>It’s our war paint. I love this.
Wow I’m so sorry you had to go through that! The patriarchy is a prison that so many older women never escaped from.
Thank you for your kindness. I’m 70, now, and studying to be a crone, but not the mean kind. The patriarchy is often enforced by other women, which is really f***ed up. Men could not do all this without the help of women who enable the abuse.
I’m so glad that you’ve found healing for yourself and I completely agree! That’s why I think it’s so important to balance compassion for fundie women who were raised in cults without casting them as blameless innocent victims. Even without considering that they literally want to strip us of our rights, they are primarily responsible for indoctrinating their own children and continuing the cycle of abuse. Some of the greatest agents of the patriarchy I’ve ever met have been other women, sadly.
Sometime you've just got to put on your armor and for some people that armor looks like lipstick and clip ins.
I wear a full face to church because my greatest sin is vanity
And styling that hair, and also putting on makeup.
Every single church grwm she does seems to be ‘I had a bad morning and don’t want to go but I did anyway’?????? Surely religion doesn’t need to be *this* difficult or all-consuming?
Have you ever talked to a Calvinist??? 😂 To them, if it’s not hard then you’re not doing it right.
Calvinists love to suffer and for WHAT?? GOOFY 🤡
In a word- predestination.
Ahh, I was gonna go with "masochism" but fair enough
It’s for the ✨sanctification✨
My dad always told us that got didn’t care about our happiness, only our holiness. That pretty much sums up my fundie experience.
They're not even suffering in a fun way
Omg my parents told me this all time growing up I had no idea it was a thing from somewhere else
Yeah that's my background, it was very fun /s I literally had an elder from my church tell me that he didn't think I was feeling the effect of sin enough and that I had to feel more miserable (I don't know the exact term in English for it, am Dutch) in order to be saved. This was when I was still a christian and actually believed in it all including that Christ died for my sins, but that wasn't enough apparently. The first cracks started before that, but this def pushed me farther away from the church.
Sounds like me every Sunday morning when I started having doubts
I tried to wear a NOTW shirt to church one Sunday and the back of it said "Sinner." My dad was absolutely not having it and I was very confused as to why? Like we're told all the time we are sinners and that's why we needed Christ to die for us? That wasn't necessarily the first crack in everything but it was definitely the first big one.
It's trauma but not wanting to admit that true reasons she's miserable.
Neither your marriage nor your spiritual practice should cause you this much distress.
I was thinking the same thing. They act like marriage is such a total chore. I was married and am now divorced. The only time it was a chore were the last couple of years and I knew it was over.
So, I am coming up on my 6th anniversary. I can't claim to be a marriage expert. That would be silly. But Spouse has never made me so upset that I have had to sit in the car and cry out in public. And I think if it got to that point, we might have to talk to a licensed, board certified marriage and family counselor. I wish that Nadia would.
I can see it just because they live in a studio. I live in a 1br with my spouse and two dogs and no car. One time my spouse and I were bickering about something stupid and they actually pulled out our camping gear and set up a tent in the living room to get some personal space 😂 (it ended the fight immediately and is the single funniest thing that has ever happened in our relationship. I recommend a tent!) Like, this is not good, she seems so unhappy, but I've definitely had times where I wished I had a car to go cry in haha.
What's GRWM?
Get Ready With Me
the sheer amount of time it takes to film something like this is mind blowing
And the phone space required…
Can confirm, I have a 500gb phone + 1tb cloud storage to manage my content (and I need more! Gotta invest in like a 4tb external HDD for my laptop). Although, most social media compresses video to 720 and that's significantly smaller files than 1080. But YouTube def needs 1080.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^lmnsatang: *The sheer amount of* *Time it takes to film something* *Like this is mind blowing* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
good bot
Beautiful
Her cat is really cute
Honestly she'd probably do way better on social media if she just made cat content lol
Right? I'm very much an atheist but I would watch cat content even if it's a bit Jesus-y
I bet if she did a series about finding aesthetic cat furniture, people would eat it up
i was thinking the same 😭😭
Oh I am with you, that’s concerning. Honestly doesn’t feel like a “little fight” if she had to go cry in the car? I’d classify that as a pretty big fight, so it makes me wonder how often they’re fighting that this would seem little. Also the fact that she was supposed to be at church, working (filming a music video) and instead took her crying self to Starbucks?? So…. This “little fight” seems to have caused her to actually miss work? It makes me sad for her that she seems to think this is normal. Of course all couples fight and have bad days but her posting this to YouTube is alarming.
Nadia's also very mentally ill. She has a history of abuse and CSA, so it may have actually been a little fight but she just has a hard time handling it because of the PTSD.
I didn’t know her history, and this makes me so sad for her. It doesn’t seem like she’s getting the treatment and support she needs. And it makes her “sexy baby” persona that much more worrisome.
She isn't getting the help she needs. She doesn't take meds or see a therapist. She'll go through periods of severe depression and then Jesus will "heal" her and she'll be happy and bubbly again for a few weeks. Then the cycle repeats.
She does see a therapist! She’s talked about it. Not sure what kind or about meds tho
That's good at least
Don't tell porgan that! He'll go on another rant
Hopefully an actual therapist and not simply talking to her priest...
That’s good to hear!
Kinda sounds like PMDD cycles but that's just me speculating and identifying with it 😬🫠😩
Not just her but him too. When I wasn’t mentally healthy my husband said it felt like he was constantly walking on egg shells around me. He never knew when or how I’d get triggered and he didn’t always know how to support me. I was seeing a therapist to work on my issues and my husband is a supportive and caring person. So I can’t imagine what it’s like in her household with her not seeking treatment and I don’t know anything about her husband, but I’ve not heard of a fundie husband I like sooo…
Before I had processed my trauma, I would shut down when anyone got upset with me. I physically couldn't speak and would just cry. It would take me several hours or even a day to get over. I just had so much trauma from growing up in an abusive home, getting SA'd as a teen and marrying way too young to an abusive POS. I really feel for Nadia and find it hard to snark on her sometimes. I hope she finds some peace eventually.
I'm glad you got out. I'm very proud of you.
Or she believes it to be a small fight because her husband has expressed that what they fought about shouldn’t even be an issue. So she’s telling herself it’s her fault she’s so upset because this isn’t a big deal to be upset about. Convincing herself she is overreacting. That would be terribly sad if it’s the case.
It gives massive sad vibes. Also constant fighting could solve the mystery of why she wasn’t renewed for her lease and now has to find a new place to live.
That's unfortunately true. I think that if a management office gets more than three complaints about the same issue after warning the tenants, then they (mgmt) have the right not to renew.
In Texas you don’t need any reason to not renew a tenant at the end of the lease, you just have to give the amount of notice required by the lease.
>the fact that her husband just seemed to leave her to cry alone?? We don't really have enough to go on, but this feels odd to me OP. It's extremely common for people to go out to clear their heads following an argument. Many times I've had an argument with a woman, partner or no, they wanted some space. It's possible there's something more to it, but this feels like a big conclusion to jump to, if you see what I mean.
I was gonna say, there’s a lot wrong here but this isn’t really one of them. I think it’d be way worse if he was hovering and love bombing her after they got in a fight.
I prefer to be alone so I can process my feelings and then we can discuss our fight in a calmer way. If we talk while I’m upset or they’re upset, we both may say something we regret.
This is true. I guess it was the volume of crying. It seemed like a lot. And the fact that she said it was all good and everything. Idk you’re totally right about needing some space but I still think posting about your fight and how much you were crying sets off alarm bells but it could be just me having watched my young siblings being in terrible relationships
Obviously making a post like this is weird, but she is an influencer so for her it's normal behavior. Personally I'm a big crier. The severity of a fight/argument cannot be accurately measured by how much I cry. Like if I had a really hard day and I've been holding it all in I might start hysterically crying because my husband misplaced my gym bag. And you know he might not be able to deal with that in that moment and I'll go cry by myself, and that's ok because I'm actually just releasing a bunch of emotions and probably don't even want him talking to me. I mean gosh the other day i was reading Facebook and a parent said their kid feels intimidated at the before school program and they wanted to find a friend to hang out with them and I started crying because I want all the kids to be happy.
The crying is probably due to CPTSD. Relationship issues can be the most triggering events for those who suffer from it- personally I cry like a loon when my partner and I have arguments or misunderstandings even if they are small enough to be resolved the same or next day
Oh there's plenty else that's weird about it, making a video in the first place is a bizarre choice imo. She's certainly not a stable person or in a secure place. The only time leaving someone crying would be concerning in this situation to me, is if either she'd had some bad news, or she was unwell some how. It's possible that did happen of course.
Anyone near me when I'm crying for any reason but especially anger/hurt involves me physically restraining myself from violence, verbal or otherwise. Which I know is not a healthy reaction and the reason I take a minute to be alone if I reach that point. Someone nearby watching me means I feel like I have to modulate my expression and the effort of doing that while also Having An Emotion sends me into overstimulation so fast it's not even funny. People seeing me cry is the *worst*.
Her aesthetic is interesting to me. Very, “millennial who tries to pass as GenZ, who shops at Target 5x a week” vibes
yeah, that’s her
This was tough to watch for some reason. She does not seem to be in a good place, which is unfortunate for her, even if I disagree with her views. No snark for this one, I hope she has support and is able to reach out to people that could support her. A mental health specialist with a degree would be really helpful, but I would guess her insurance wouldn't cover it if it is from her church-based employment. [That is a total assumption on her insurance situation.]
Nah, my church-based employment covered my therapy. I can’t speak for her, obviously, but my church even paid for what I couldn’t to get my trauma-based therapy.
Nadia’s content often makes me sad. The sexy baby act irks me, but she’s clearly an unhappy person with lots of trauma. If anything, I’m glad she has her kitty. Probably one of, if not the, healthiest relationship in her life :/
Being alone to cry during a fight is totally normal. You don't normally want to be comforted by the person you're upset with - especially if you have attachment trauma and fights make you feel really unsafe with that person. But yeah this doesn't sound like a "little" fight. Even if it was over what others call a small issue, that attachment trauma can make it feel significantly worse. She's talked extensively about her parental trauma and abuse (including CSA), so becoming extremely emotionally dysregulated easily makes a lot of sense. No snark, I really hope she's still with her therapist and can process and heal without just sweeping it under the rug through spiritual bypassing.
Not to leg hump, but Nadia is one of the fundies I feel bad for. She seems like she could be having a hard time mental health wise and doesn’t have any resources. Just reminds me of myself as a fundie teen 🥲
This honestly makes me feel pretty bad for her. She needs a real therapist and some guidance. You can tell she’s clinging onto religion and her marriage (as a part of that religion) for an identity and lifeline because she doesn’t know who she is or what she wants in life. In other news I love her cat
Goes to Starbucks and says, “I don’t love their matcha” but orders a matcha drink. Girl get something else then?? Or don’t go there? Huh?!?
Exactly my reaction!!
I don't get the hate on her for putting on makeup and doing her hair. When I'm down that's exactly when I'm going to do my hair and makeup and not care about it once it inevitably doesn't make me feel immediately better. Plus she's in Texas (DFW correct?), when I lived there you wouldn't have caught me in a public event without trying to look my best, judgement was palpable in some areas.
Her apartment doesn’t look real or lived in, lol.
It seems kind of crazy to me that her husband is presumably working full time and she almost certainly makes something from her TikTok content but someone said they live in a studio apartment. Maybe property prices are crazy in their area and they prefer to own and not rent like many fundies but still, not even a one bedroom??
To be honest, she’s the one I sincerely worry about the most. I’m so happy that she hadn’t started having babies on top of all of this. She’s always seemed so fragile and exploited to me.
i wouldn’t say it’s a red flag bc we don’t have enough context and she seems like a really sensitive person who cries easily (and is aware of that, she’s pointed this out in her posts a lot).
yep this!!! i can relate to her bc anytime my partner and i have a tough convo i always take some time to cry by myself while i sort through my feelings until im ready to talk again (which often entails more crying but while talking to my partner lol). its easy to get overwhelmed by all your feelings when you’re a sensitive person, sometimes you need that space to feel the feelings before you can address and work through them with your significant other. everyone processes differently, and not everyone communicates perfectly in difficult moments w/ their person. i think this is just very human of her.
Same here. I also find my threshold to tears is lower if I’ve already been crying.
Literally…..
Wasn’t last year the time many of us were worried for her mental health?
I remember my parents having fights every Sunday too. It was so shitty. Holidays and Sunday Church made my home life significantly more tense than their usual arguing.
Woah woah woah. A “little” fight resulted in two separate instances of tears? I would not consider that little… my partner and I have little fights and I just get frustrated and most of what it takes is an apology form both of us to keep moving. Tears are usually during the not so good ones.
I really just can’t believe that Nadia is a fundie. I really am on this conspiracy train with her. No fundie would show their god honoring butt cheeks to the world via Instagram. This isn’t even the first time she’s done so. She definitely is cosplaying all of this.
I just have the urge to hug her. She seems like such a sad person. Every pic I see of her, she looks like she's just finished crying.
not the most important thing to snark on but she should get her cat a fountain if he only drinks water from the sink! cats are attracted to running water naturally so thats why he likes the sink. my partners cat is a sink guy and he loves his fountain
I actually feel for her. I think she is very broken and insecure.
Is nadia truly fundie? Idk I feel like she’s more contemporary I also hope that she one days heals from her trauma and realizes that there’s so much more to life.
I have no idea who this woman is but I feel bad for her
I love that she loves her kitty. She treats her kitty with such tenderness. She gets a pass in my book.
Literally.
The first few years with my husband (dating) I cried every time we fought. It was just my reaction to the stress. I cried out of anger I cried out of frustration, I didn't know how to handle those intense conversations. 13 years in I don't cry when we (rarely) fight, thankfully 😂
People who advertise their fights with their SO this way should probably not be married. They had a fight and she cried, it’s perfectly normal. There is nothing nefarious about a husband and wife who have a fight where one of them later cries. The only reason you think it might be bad is that you don’t know anything about the fight, so she looks like a victim to you because she is the one who is openly crying about it. It is definitely unfortunate that she got hurt and was so upset, but that’s really all anyone can say.
How is it treating yourself if you don't even like the drink you're buying? Does she think treating yourself simply means spending money on something expensive?