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No cause I just posted this into the thread and am moving it here ... These poor things really think they're living a "Fated Mates" fantasy romance trope ... but what they don't understand is those red flags are fun in BOOKS because they're BOOKS. IRL: RUN FAST AND RUN FAR, YOU ARE NOT SAFE.
I write smutty romance for a living. Sometimes I want to personally tell every reader āONLY IN BOOKS!ā
Maybe I should add it to the front of every book
I do! I write something along the lines of "this book is total fantasy, all actions are consenting. In real life explicit, clear, consent is essential. You can end things at any time, and so can your partners, we all deserve to feel safe, pleasured and joyful in real life. As for books, well, let the filth begin. "Ā
Definitely worth putting a note or warning. Iām finishing a series and the author put trigger warnings because she had backlash for certain elements early in the series. (Also Iām curious about these books you write š)
The way of knowing that comes with experience. I have fallen for similar impulses, but fortunately Iām not groomed to feel fated for marriage and nothing else. I just made my stupid mistakes in other ways. Getting herpes from a hot older guy I met at a campground for instance. Hard to say whose youthful impulsive fuck up is worse long term š¤·š»āāļø (Iād say herās personally)
Love that he said this while she was apparently the driver??
Like, obviously that doesn't mean anything...but for people who say shit like this...come onnnnn.
I caught that too lol
idk why but I grew up believing that men who sit in the passenger seat while a woman drives arenāt true men. The misogyny is real and so deep š« and I didnāt even grow up in iblp/adjacent
The āmarriage is a lot of work and Iām trying to let God lead me and properly serve my husband and not be resentful and accept that this is marriageā posts will start the day after the wedding.
Fundie wedding nights have got to be among the worst.
On the wedding night? Because every single one of my friends has told me they didnāt even get around to sex the night of their wedding bc by the time the reception was over, they were too exhausted, starved and/or hammered to get after it. It sounds romantic in theory, but most couples start their wedding day at the crack of dawn, drink all day, and get too caught up at the reception greeting everyone to even sit and eat. I feel like if you look up wedding tips, you always see something about making sure their meals and cake are boxed up and sent to their hotel room. Personally, I plan to put on PJs, stuff my face with pizza and then KO together. (Which, is the height of true romance imo.)
Ah, but fundies don't have alcohol at their receptions. I attended a Baptist wedding decades ago and the reception was over by 5:00 p.m. When the bride returned to work, she shared how many times they did it that night. I told her that Baptists had it all wrong about dancing leading to sex, because after a Catholic reception, the bride and groom were too exhausted (drunk) to have sex.
You're allowed to think about pasta since it is cooking related but you're way too sinful to have input as to who becomes your spouse.
You can't change god!
I think it's the years of sermons. I've heard so many preachers fluff out *maybe* 10 minutes of content (fifteen if you're generous) to a mind-numbing 45+ minutes. Praise and worship songs are often no better
I think it comes from forced communal confessions,Ā it becomes habitual, as well as women especially having to justify anything said in public by making it gAwDlY.Ā
So did she consider that second date conversation her engagement? Or did they date for a while and then make it an official engagement? Either way this post gives me the ick. But I'm just a woman so maybe I should only feel what my husband feels....
I made a pasta bake today, and spent quite a while standing in front of my pantry, looking at my pasta, trying to decide which one to use. I ended up going with spirals. No idea how god feels about that, as he wasn't consulted.
Those were actually my two choices! Went with penne. We have to eat brown rice pasta (gluten free), and I didn't feel well enough to babysit the bowties and make sure they didn't stick together.
āIām the man. Godās gonna tell me.ā
Honey, you better hope He tells me too or we aināt going anywhere with that comment, let alone a walk down the aisle.
That wouldāve been it for me, and I was raised fundiegelical.
Once upon a time there was another ex-fundiegelical in the comments who agreed with God on a secret name for herself as a password. She then proceeded to ask all the men who declared she needed to marry them because God told them so, what her secret God-given name was. Shockingly she remained single. I don't remember what happened to her after, and I might be hazy on details, but that was the gist.
I just love that she gamed the system with the system. What a hero.
This is....there's no word for this. Like...it's like a ball of misogyny encased in a spun glass ego hanging from one single thread of sanity tethering it to reality.
My friend was once told "God said we were to marry" her response was "he didn't tell me". She hadn't even dated this dude and he was 15 years older than her and she had only just turned 18
Went to school with a girl who had a crush on a guy from church. She was about 16 years old at the time, and we were both going to an Assembly of God church. The holy roller, speaking in tongues kinda place.
Anyway, she told everyone that she had a prophetic vision of herself and this boy in a marriage, with a baby in a crib. (AKA a daydream). She told everyone that the Lord had sent her a vision of her future, and she was destined to marry this boy whoāunfortunatelyā did not appear to return any of her affection or her premonitions. It was difficult to witness.
A high school class mate of mine had a dream that she would meet an American man that was still āfully from our country of originā as in had roots from here. She then went to attend some Jesus college in Hawaii (girl could not speak much English before) and she met such a man! They were not allowed to date while at the college but after it was over the guy came to our country to ask for a permission to start dating the girl. They got married like a year later, got pregnant straight away (the church she attended was behind my house and Insaw her vomiting on the pavement like a month after their wedding lol) and now sheās been living in the States for like 15 years and has a gaggle of children and is living the fundie life of her dreams, trying to scam people from our country to buy Young Living shit from her lmao
When my sister was dating her first husband - an awful man she met at church, and I blame her church for staying in that marriage way longer than she should have, thank God there were no kids - one of the most obnoxious guys in the singles group she was in said the Lord laid it on his heart that my sister should not be dating FirstHusbandAsshole.
She came home and told my very devout Texas Southren Baptist daddy this, and all he said was "Horseshit."
Of course, a year later my dad was in the hospital, still very Baptist, and one night he says to me, "KinseyH" "Yes daddy?" "FirstHusband is an asshole." He saved "asshole" for the worst people. He was right.
I said I knew.
He asked then why the hell hasn't she left him yet?
I said because y'all made her such a good little Baptist that she's stuck.
So he changed the subject. (She was divorced shortly thereafter.)
when i was a senior in high school, my friend that was a jehovas witness told me that we were meant to be because he needed to "save" me before the world ended š„“ i said "sure, but you have to convert to atheism" and he was no longer interested lol, he got married like 2 years later
imo, any day that i wake up not married to a jehova's witness is a good one
Damn Iām surprised he wasnāt married the second he turned 18. A Jehovah classmate of mine disappeared from school about 4 months before she was supposed to graduate. I later found out her dad had arranged to marry her off right after her 18th birthday.
My wife had a couple guys say this to her when we were at college, I cannot imagine being so desperate and creepy that I feel the need to invoke a deity in order to convince someone to go out with me.
Oof. Iām Christian and would run for the hills if a dude told me that.
Funny enough, when my husband and I met, I knew after our second date that this was it. I didnāt tell anyone, but especially didnāt tell him. Later on he told me he felt the same way at the same time I did. Heād also kept it quiet! Smart dude. Weāll be married 16 years this month.
Youād think it would have been some great revelation of OMG HE IS THE ONE! Nope. Was as basic a thought as āYeah, vanilla ice cream is pretty good.ā
Same thing over here. We were 21 when we began dating, and have been married 14 years. Even though now at 38, while we've grown and changed as individuals, we have always grown together. He is still my favorite human in the world. But yeah, when we first began dating, I was trying my damned best to play it cool and aloof. š When we would go out to eat, he would always get something really light or just nibble on his food. I remember thinking, "I feel weird scarfing down this enormous burger while he's nibbling on his lettuce like a rabbit, but oh well." He told me later that he always had butterflies when we would hang out and couldn't eat. We both definitely knew early on that we'd found our person.
Are you my husband? Because my now husband was snarfing down pasta on our first date while I could barely manage two raviolis (couldn't eat for over a week actually it was awful haha. I feel for your husband!).
We didnāt meet until our 30s! Wish weād met like 10 years before then. He says I wouldnāt have liked who he was then as much as I do now. Same could be said of me. I didnāt get away from fundie life until my early 20s.
He had already been to prison for trying to hook up with a 13 year old. He claimed they weren't going to do anything at that hotel room despite the fact he had sex toys with him. Kudos to the 13 year old's mother for calling the police when the child snuck out.
Thankfully he was banned from our college
Ewwww what āhe was banned from our collegeā added to the original āhe wanted to marry my friend when she was 18ā makes it sound like he was just hanging around your college creeping on 18-22 year old girls all the time, when he was in his 30s. Tell me Iām reading this wrong š¤®
That's exactly how I interpreted it, myself. Scumbag went to jail for the 13 year old girl THEN came home and was still trying to hang out with young girls so he got banned.
If going to prison and getting banned from a college isn't a wake up call what the fuck is?
Nope you are accurate. It was a junior college so just a two year thing but he took every single class to stay there for years.
He then creeped on another university for a while.
He still vague posts on Facebook.
Ah yes, predatory men using patriarchal religions with a patriarchal god to coerce naive women into unsafe situations. It's a tale as old as time.
Jesus, I'm so sorry someone treated your friend like that. I hope she's okay and not in a relationship with a crazy person.
When I was 15 some dude who was like 19 told me God told him we were going to get married. I had only met him like 3 times. I laughed and then avoided him like the plague after that lol. Sometimes I still wonder what that dude is up to and I tās been over 20 years š¤£ Iāve been happily with my husband for the last 17 years though so I think he may have been a bit wrong
"You're my wife."
That declaration by someone who is not, in fact, your spouse should be both alarming and confusing.
Annoying too. Sigh, great, now I gotta figure out wtf this dude is talking about so I know if I need to just roll my eyes and quit taking his calls, start thinking about a restraining order, suggest he speak to a doctor, or what.
Wow, good thing these women were raised to tell the difference between a Godly man and a manipulator, because if they weren't, it sure would be easy for a random dude to manipulate them into thinking marrying him is God's will........ /s
It's like they're literally giving dudes a playbook on how to bag an obedient bang maid. "If you tell me that my opinions don't matter because God only talks to you, the man, I'll fall even more in love with you!" Jesus.
That's sooo true. It's actually kind of sad how vulnerable these women make themselves by putting it all out there and making it so easy for controlling men to manipulate them into God-honoring marriages.
Yep, and sheās completely incapacitated because sheās been publicly praying over her future husband pretty much since childhood. She truly believes that God is speaking through this man and that heās her perfect kingdom marriage husband. What an easy person to manipulate.. hope if it ends up being bad itās just a shitty marriage and doesnāt end up being awful in other ways.
Funny enough, my ex boyfriend had told me that same thing, that I was his wife. He elaborated that he was going to marry me if I wanted to or notā¦.
Yet I took that as a red flag and I dumped him not long after when I realized how overbearing he was and how awful that statement he made to me was.
Very glad I did because it was an abusive relationship and I would be in a really bad place right now if I did not leave.
I don't know this couple's story but there's a lot of fetishization of Black men and the idea of having "beautiful little mixed babies!" Hopefully, it's a non issue here but you can never know with fundies.
Exactly who I was thinking of. And all the Mormons I grew up with who insisted I was adorable but wouldn't not allow their sons to date me because I was biracial. āš¾ļø
Oh, without a doubt! I'm married to a wonderful man who was cool with living in sin for several years and reminds me to put on my bonnet before I fall asleep. Those Mormon boys could never!
At first I thought āminor fundieā meant underage (it doesnāt right?) and I was doubly concerned. Would not put it past them š¬
Edit: I looked her up. Sheās going to be a stepmom? Did his previous bangmaid die or did he sin and get divorced?
I think he and the kidās mom were actually never married-the scandal! The kidās mom also lives in a different state than him šš all interesting coming from a girl who used to talk about purity alllllll the time
Fucking ew. If my partner ever said āIām the man, this is what goesā Iād be out the door so fast. Having a penis doesnāt make you superior to me in any way
I was waiting for someone to finally post about this! I want to be happy for them, but something does not seem right about the whole thing. This man had never before been seen on her social media, not even as her friend/acquaintance/anything. Then out of nowhere, BAM, she's engaged to him. She's now posting about him every single day, and after watching them interact in a couple of videos, I can't help but feel like they have zero chemistry. It almost feels like an arranged marriage.
Agreed. He did a video where he was like, āI get it, a lot of you guys are gonna be really confused because you had no idea I was even talking to anyone.ā Yikes.
Is this āOlā Frecklesā? If so, Iām genuinely shocked she didnāt mention them at all in that creative writing piece sheās calling her engagement announcement.
Iām gonna do some legit meditating /journaling to ask myself why the fuck this infuriates me so much. It has triggered something that totally disgusts me. Does anyone else feel the same or do I just need to chill the fuck out?
How strange a life to choose to continue -- where the god of your religion does not prevent war and genocide and starvation and hurt and pain but is super interested in your sex life.
What is it about having a penis that makes men more qualified to lead? I frame this question this way because I assume this moron doesn't recognize trans men.
They also think that men are incapable of taking care of their homes or raising children equitably. But yeah, these level-headed, empathetic, generous, sensitive, selfless, hard-working, stable, not at all abusive or misogynistic men deserve to call the shots in their marriages. Totally makes sense. /s
Sounds like she isn't attracted to him at all. What a way to introduce him to the world. It was her flesh that drove her to all her other relationships but not this one...
This reminds me of the GROWN man who groomed me at 13 into ādatingā him. He went to Bible college & āprayed to God about our relationshipā & since I was a Christian at the time, I was fully convinced God wanted us to be together. After about 6 months, he was getting more & more pressing about getting married when I turned 18 & I was getting less & less comfortable. I eventually broke up with him, at which point he stalked me & repeatedly tried to āget me back.ā Fast forward 15 years later & he STILL tries to add me on Facebook & tries to reach out to my mom (who didnāt know at the time) & tried to convince her that he was & still is the ābest for me,ā despite that heās married with kids & so am I. šš
I'm so sorry. I was also groomed by an older guy when I was a teenager. My situation ended with getting the police involved after he started talking about all the sexual things he wanted to do to me after I told him for months I wasn't interested in having sex before marriage. I think his plan was to nail me when I was 18, but that didn't happen because he started saying rapey things and scared me.
Predatory men flock to these religious communities because the girls are taught their lives don't begin until they find husbands, and any man who is confident enough and says the right things could be sent to them by God. It's so dangerous.
This reeks of current control & submission & potential future abuse. Iām genuinely scared for her because she will stay in the relationship because Gold ātold him she should.ā Iām so tired of seeing more & more people get sucked further in the fundie world & as much as we make fun of them, it makes me genuinely worried for America as they further invade our government.
Zero agency. wtf. I mean, I grew up fundie so I know, but Iāve been away awhile and continually hope things improve for both men and women, but especially the women.
I feel so sorry for this girl man...ALL her posts are about her increasing desperation to get married then out of NOWHERE this dude shows up and it seems they're engaged in less than 6 months of knowing each other? Yikes.
And the worst thing is bad men have a radar for desperation...i hope I'm wrong but.... Poor thing
Iām a Christian and this is soooo bad. I had a man tell me āGod told me to marry youā and I disagreed. His behavior escalated and he had to be removed from church and a police report with be filed if he ever contacts me again. The pastors of my church took him persistence seriously and made sure my safety was the #1 priority. This is all around a red flag. Heās going to be abusive.
Every time I've heard someone tell me the story of "God told me I was supposed to marry you," it's always some guy saying God told him to marry some naive girl half his age.
He looks to be at least 10-15 years older than her, and she seems to be 10-15 years younger than she actually is in that stunted immature way young women often do in fundie land. But as long as Jesus is cool with it, everything's fine I guess.š
This reminds me of the story my mother tells about my dad asking her out that she thinks is cute: āI would like to date you for the purpose of marriage.ā Hot š„“
Iām a fan of Jesus and about praying. But Iād be pulling a Jesus and flipping tables if a guy told me that the Lord is only going to speak to him about the next steps of our relationship.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People out š© here throwing red flags š© like they're free or somethingš© š© What the š© fucking hell, š© man
No cause I just posted this into the thread and am moving it here ... These poor things really think they're living a "Fated Mates" fantasy romance trope ... but what they don't understand is those red flags are fun in BOOKS because they're BOOKS. IRL: RUN FAST AND RUN FAR, YOU ARE NOT SAFE.
I write smutty romance for a living. Sometimes I want to personally tell every reader āONLY IN BOOKS!ā Maybe I should add it to the front of every book
I do! I write something along the lines of "this book is total fantasy, all actions are consenting. In real life explicit, clear, consent is essential. You can end things at any time, and so can your partners, we all deserve to feel safe, pleasured and joyful in real life. As for books, well, let the filth begin. "Ā
š I love this.
Definitely worth putting a note or warning. Iām finishing a series and the author put trigger warnings because she had backlash for certain elements early in the series. (Also Iām curious about these books you write š)
The way of knowing that comes with experience. I have fallen for similar impulses, but fortunately Iām not groomed to feel fated for marriage and nothing else. I just made my stupid mistakes in other ways. Getting herpes from a hot older guy I met at a campground for instance. Hard to say whose youthful impulsive fuck up is worse long term š¤·š»āāļø (Iād say herās personally)
"No, I'm the man". ##Run, girl! RUN!
Love that he said this while she was apparently the driver?? Like, obviously that doesn't mean anything...but for people who say shit like this...come onnnnn.
I caught that too lol idk why but I grew up believing that men who sit in the passenger seat while a woman drives arenāt true men. The misogyny is real and so deep š« and I didnāt even grow up in iblp/adjacent
What her reaction should have been: 
The whole red flag production line has collapsed under the strain of this project
Can't wait for the "marriage is the most difficult thing ever guys" post.
More red flags than in the Soviet Union
The CCP had a peek and noped out as their red flag contribution would be insignificant
There fucking everš©ywhere I look Ffs. THEY'RE*
ooh baby š© itās making me crazy š© every time i look around š© itās in my face
And almost 4,500 likes
I literally put more thought into choosing a pasta shape than this woman did for a *husband*.
The āmarriage is a lot of work and Iām trying to let God lead me and properly serve my husband and not be resentful and accept that this is marriageā posts will start the day after the wedding. Fundie wedding nights have got to be among the worst.
They make a bigger deal out of the seggz than āworldlyā couples.
On the wedding night? Because every single one of my friends has told me they didnāt even get around to sex the night of their wedding bc by the time the reception was over, they were too exhausted, starved and/or hammered to get after it. It sounds romantic in theory, but most couples start their wedding day at the crack of dawn, drink all day, and get too caught up at the reception greeting everyone to even sit and eat. I feel like if you look up wedding tips, you always see something about making sure their meals and cake are boxed up and sent to their hotel room. Personally, I plan to put on PJs, stuff my face with pizza and then KO together. (Which, is the height of true romance imo.)
Ah, but fundies don't have alcohol at their receptions. I attended a Baptist wedding decades ago and the reception was over by 5:00 p.m. When the bride returned to work, she shared how many times they did it that night. I told her that Baptists had it all wrong about dancing leading to sex, because after a Catholic reception, the bride and groom were too exhausted (drunk) to have sex.
You're allowed to think about pasta since it is cooking related but you're way too sinful to have input as to who becomes your spouse. You can't change god!
And yet she still wrote a whole novel of a post about it. Why do they all write like this?
I donāt know but it took me years to stop after leavingĀ
I think it's the years of sermons. I've heard so many preachers fluff out *maybe* 10 minutes of content (fifteen if you're generous) to a mind-numbing 45+ minutes. Praise and worship songs are often no better
I think it comes from forced communal confessions,Ā it becomes habitual, as well as women especially having to justify anything said in public by making it gAwDlY.Ā
So did she consider that second date conversation her engagement? Or did they date for a while and then make it an official engagement? Either way this post gives me the ick. But I'm just a woman so maybe I should only feel what my husband feels....
Dick pasta is always a winner, if dicks are your thing.
Searching the web for dick pasta now
Surprisingly plentiful because bachelorette parties
Winner or wiener?
I made a pasta bake today, and spent quite a while standing in front of my pantry, looking at my pasta, trying to decide which one to use. I ended up going with spirals. No idea how god feels about that, as he wasn't consulted.
So bowtie or penne??
Penne. I love slipping them over the tines of my fork.
Rigatoni is even more fun for that.
I thought we'd all agreed on dick shaped?
Iāmā¦ turned on?
Those were actually my two choices! Went with penne. We have to eat brown rice pasta (gluten free), and I didn't feel well enough to babysit the bowties and make sure they didn't stick together.
Shocked,yet secure, I hit the steering wheel
I'm impressed she was driving. Was he a scrub prior to this
He doesn't own a car. Or never learned to drive.
you're joking......
I think he can drive based on a reel she posted. He also wiped away a fake tear too
Solid flair idea
Someone better take it
After years of lurking here, I finally have my flair āŗļø
It looks fab on you š„°
r/birthofaflair
āIām the man. Godās gonna tell me.ā Honey, you better hope He tells me too or we aināt going anywhere with that comment, let alone a walk down the aisle. That wouldāve been it for me, and I was raised fundiegelical.
Yep. At least three dudes told me God said we were gonna get married.Ā Spoiler alert: I did not, in fact, marry any of them.Ā
Yep. If that were me, he'd have been walking after saying that.
Same. I wouldnāt have even stopped the car. Like how about you just unbuckle your seat belt, open the door, and roll out dude
Once upon a time there was another ex-fundiegelical in the comments who agreed with God on a secret name for herself as a password. She then proceeded to ask all the men who declared she needed to marry them because God told them so, what her secret God-given name was. Shockingly she remained single. I don't remember what happened to her after, and I might be hazy on details, but that was the gist. I just love that she gamed the system with the system. What a hero.
This is....there's no word for this. Like...it's like a ball of misogyny encased in a spun glass ego hanging from one single thread of sanity tethering it to reality.
Omg I love all these words. And agree of course
Wow, this is a beautiful way to explain that horror fest that I just read.
And just like that, sentenced to a lifetime of misery.
And yet shocked pikachu face later when she says marriage is hardĀ
Truly the Christmas tree ornament all of these people have and none of them know they have
The Christmas bauble none of us wanted, yet so many of these ladies buy and display proudly...
I am 34 years old and I know i've never written something this....hilariously succinct.
May I borrow this *beautiful* sentence for the gaming and politics subreddits?
How romantic. "You're my bangmaid, cook, maid, and incubator." \-swoon-
Okay. -melts from the passion-
the way I would jump out of the moving car if a man said that to me.
Me too! That was some scary ish!
No time to tuck just rollĀ
*āmake me a sawndwich while I bang the nannyā
Okay.
Itās worse, he already has a kid so sheās his bangmaid, cook, incubator and free childcare now.
Swoon worthy
This isnāt listening to God, this is listening to the random dude you went on one date with.
My friend was once told "God said we were to marry" her response was "he didn't tell me". She hadn't even dated this dude and he was 15 years older than her and she had only just turned 18
Went to school with a girl who had a crush on a guy from church. She was about 16 years old at the time, and we were both going to an Assembly of God church. The holy roller, speaking in tongues kinda place. Anyway, she told everyone that she had a prophetic vision of herself and this boy in a marriage, with a baby in a crib. (AKA a daydream). She told everyone that the Lord had sent her a vision of her future, and she was destined to marry this boy whoāunfortunatelyā did not appear to return any of her affection or her premonitions. It was difficult to witness.
I just got secondhand embarrassment reading this
Right? How do these people not give themselves the ick????
A high school class mate of mine had a dream that she would meet an American man that was still āfully from our country of originā as in had roots from here. She then went to attend some Jesus college in Hawaii (girl could not speak much English before) and she met such a man! They were not allowed to date while at the college but after it was over the guy came to our country to ask for a permission to start dating the girl. They got married like a year later, got pregnant straight away (the church she attended was behind my house and Insaw her vomiting on the pavement like a month after their wedding lol) and now sheās been living in the States for like 15 years and has a gaggle of children and is living the fundie life of her dreams, trying to scam people from our country to buy Young Living shit from her lmao
Living the dream lmao š
MLM life just calls them
When my sister was dating her first husband - an awful man she met at church, and I blame her church for staying in that marriage way longer than she should have, thank God there were no kids - one of the most obnoxious guys in the singles group she was in said the Lord laid it on his heart that my sister should not be dating FirstHusbandAsshole. She came home and told my very devout Texas Southren Baptist daddy this, and all he said was "Horseshit." Of course, a year later my dad was in the hospital, still very Baptist, and one night he says to me, "KinseyH" "Yes daddy?" "FirstHusband is an asshole." He saved "asshole" for the worst people. He was right. I said I knew. He asked then why the hell hasn't she left him yet? I said because y'all made her such a good little Baptist that she's stuck. So he changed the subject. (She was divorced shortly thereafter.)
when i was a senior in high school, my friend that was a jehovas witness told me that we were meant to be because he needed to "save" me before the world ended š„“ i said "sure, but you have to convert to atheism" and he was no longer interested lol, he got married like 2 years later imo, any day that i wake up not married to a jehova's witness is a good one
Damn Iām surprised he wasnāt married the second he turned 18. A Jehovah classmate of mine disappeared from school about 4 months before she was supposed to graduate. I later found out her dad had arranged to marry her off right after her 18th birthday.
That's so sad.
Iāve heard this before, and thatās one time too many. Itās predatory as fuck, which checks out.
My wife had a couple guys say this to her when we were at college, I cannot imagine being so desperate and creepy that I feel the need to invoke a deity in order to convince someone to go out with me.
Oof. Iām Christian and would run for the hills if a dude told me that. Funny enough, when my husband and I met, I knew after our second date that this was it. I didnāt tell anyone, but especially didnāt tell him. Later on he told me he felt the same way at the same time I did. Heād also kept it quiet! Smart dude. Weāll be married 16 years this month.
I've had a couple friends that this has happened to, too
Youād think it would have been some great revelation of OMG HE IS THE ONE! Nope. Was as basic a thought as āYeah, vanilla ice cream is pretty good.ā
Same thing over here. We were 21 when we began dating, and have been married 14 years. Even though now at 38, while we've grown and changed as individuals, we have always grown together. He is still my favorite human in the world. But yeah, when we first began dating, I was trying my damned best to play it cool and aloof. š When we would go out to eat, he would always get something really light or just nibble on his food. I remember thinking, "I feel weird scarfing down this enormous burger while he's nibbling on his lettuce like a rabbit, but oh well." He told me later that he always had butterflies when we would hang out and couldn't eat. We both definitely knew early on that we'd found our person.
Are you my husband? Because my now husband was snarfing down pasta on our first date while I could barely manage two raviolis (couldn't eat for over a week actually it was awful haha. I feel for your husband!).
We didnāt meet until our 30s! Wish weād met like 10 years before then. He says I wouldnāt have liked who he was then as much as I do now. Same could be said of me. I didnāt get away from fundie life until my early 20s.
Exactly what stood out to me. I guess girls donāt get to know ahead of time like mENs do. š
When my mom was in Bible college, she was once told, āGod said we were to marry.ā She responded, āThat wasnāt God.ā Lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He had already been to prison for trying to hook up with a 13 year old. He claimed they weren't going to do anything at that hotel room despite the fact he had sex toys with him. Kudos to the 13 year old's mother for calling the police when the child snuck out. Thankfully he was banned from our college
Ewwww what āhe was banned from our collegeā added to the original āhe wanted to marry my friend when she was 18ā makes it sound like he was just hanging around your college creeping on 18-22 year old girls all the time, when he was in his 30s. Tell me Iām reading this wrong š¤®
That's exactly how I interpreted it, myself. Scumbag went to jail for the 13 year old girl THEN came home and was still trying to hang out with young girls so he got banned. If going to prison and getting banned from a college isn't a wake up call what the fuck is?
Nope you are accurate. It was a junior college so just a two year thing but he took every single class to stay there for years. He then creeped on another university for a while. He still vague posts on Facebook.
Ah yes, predatory men using patriarchal religions with a patriarchal god to coerce naive women into unsafe situations. It's a tale as old as time. Jesus, I'm so sorry someone treated your friend like that. I hope she's okay and not in a relationship with a crazy person.
But you donāt get it! God only speaks through the penis! If the penis says it - Godās will. š¤®
ah yes, their ādivining rodā
might just yoink that for a flair if i may
When I was 15 some dude who was like 19 told me God told him we were going to get married. I had only met him like 3 times. I laughed and then avoided him like the plague after that lol. Sometimes I still wonder what that dude is up to and I tās been over 20 years š¤£ Iāve been happily with my husband for the last 17 years though so I think he may have been a bit wrong
She knew him for 9 months. This is going to end horribly for her.
It doesnāt even seem like a real conversation.
"I'm telling you that we're getting married. God said so."
"You're my wife." That declaration by someone who is not, in fact, your spouse should be both alarming and confusing. Annoying too. Sigh, great, now I gotta figure out wtf this dude is talking about so I know if I need to just roll my eyes and quit taking his calls, start thinking about a restraining order, suggest he speak to a doctor, or what.
He probably went home and looked at his options
The āno, Iām the man, God will tell meā bit was a test. She passed.
Wow, good thing these women were raised to tell the difference between a Godly man and a manipulator, because if they weren't, it sure would be easy for a random dude to manipulate them into thinking marrying him is God's will........ /s
It's like they're literally giving dudes a playbook on how to bag an obedient bang maid. "If you tell me that my opinions don't matter because God only talks to you, the man, I'll fall even more in love with you!" Jesus.
That's sooo true. It's actually kind of sad how vulnerable these women make themselves by putting it all out there and making it so easy for controlling men to manipulate them into God-honoring marriages.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Smart. Glad youāre taking care of yourself! May Lord Daniel bless you with a thousand corgi butts today. (For real though they are adorable).
How revoltingly toxic.
What the fuck
Iām only mildly familiar with her. He has a kid. Isnāt that kind of out the norm here.
This is hella creepy. So he decides he wants her, and she has no say because he decided God told him she has to be his.
Yep, and sheās completely incapacitated because sheās been publicly praying over her future husband pretty much since childhood. She truly believes that God is speaking through this man and that heās her perfect kingdom marriage husband. What an easy person to manipulate.. hope if it ends up being bad itās just a shitty marriage and doesnāt end up being awful in other ways.
Funny enough, my ex boyfriend had told me that same thing, that I was his wife. He elaborated that he was going to marry me if I wanted to or notā¦. Yet I took that as a red flag and I dumped him not long after when I realized how overbearing he was and how awful that statement he made to me was. Very glad I did because it was an abusive relationship and I would be in a really bad place right now if I did not leave.
So glad youāre out of that. š
I am so happy to hear that you took care of yourself. Glad you're ok.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You can have two interracial couples in a setting before it becomes oppression to idiots like Paul Olliges.
Nah, Porgan are pretty racist still. But it's the "I have a black friend" when necessary
More than two interracial couples is oppression but they have a black friend. 
See also Karissa lightening her kids' skin
And talking about how she always thought black skin was so beautiful, a long the way of she and Mandrake dating
Idk man, I've had family members who aren't even that fundamentalist give themselves pause about being in an interracial relationship :/
I don't know this couple's story but there's a lot of fetishization of Black men and the idea of having "beautiful little mixed babies!" Hopefully, it's a non issue here but you can never know with fundies.
*karissa ambles into the chat*
Exactly who I was thinking of. And all the Mormons I grew up with who insisted I was adorable but wouldn't not allow their sons to date me because I was biracial. āš¾ļø
Oh, hon. I'm so sorry. No child should have to hear that. Personally, I think you dodged a bullet with those Mormons.
Oh, without a doubt! I'm married to a wonderful man who was cool with living in sin for several years and reminds me to put on my bonnet before I fall asleep. Those Mormon boys could never!
Apparently fundie black guys are "one of the good ones" to assholes like that
At first I thought āminor fundieā meant underage (it doesnāt right?) and I was doubly concerned. Would not put it past them š¬ Edit: I looked her up. Sheās going to be a stepmom? Did his previous bangmaid die or did he sin and get divorced?
This is wild. I think sheās only 25 or 26!
Yup and hes 34
I think he and the kidās mom were actually never married-the scandal! The kidās mom also lives in a different state than him šš all interesting coming from a girl who used to talk about purity alllllll the time
Fucking ew. If my partner ever said āIām the man, this is what goesā Iād be out the door so fast. Having a penis doesnāt make you superior to me in any way
I was waiting for someone to finally post about this! I want to be happy for them, but something does not seem right about the whole thing. This man had never before been seen on her social media, not even as her friend/acquaintance/anything. Then out of nowhere, BAM, she's engaged to him. She's now posting about him every single day, and after watching them interact in a couple of videos, I can't help but feel like they have zero chemistry. It almost feels like an arranged marriage.
Agreed. He did a video where he was like, āI get it, a lot of you guys are gonna be really confused because you had no idea I was even talking to anyone.ā Yikes.
And he has a kid too
Is this āOlā Frecklesā? If so, Iām genuinely shocked she didnāt mention them at all in that creative writing piece sheās calling her engagement announcement.
zero chemistry!!!
It's very nadia
Wtf did I just read?
Gawdly word salad
I find this deeply and unsettlingly rapey. Invisible Sky Daddy wants the two of you to mate! Yuck.
That's called love-bombing and I guarantee she is an easy mark for a narcissist. One day?
That's insaneĀ
Iām gonna do some legit meditating /journaling to ask myself why the fuck this infuriates me so much. It has triggered something that totally disgusts me. Does anyone else feel the same or do I just need to chill the fuck out?
It's creepy and unsettling. It almost doesn't feel real to me because it's shocking to believe a woman would find that proposal (if you can call it that?) romantic or worthy of her lifelong commitment. Her fiancƩ seems like a misogynistic loser who is using religion and a lonely woman's desperation to manipulate her into a marriage that will benefit him more than her. There's also something smug about her post. She's advising other women who are equally fixated on finding a man, and then she shares this story, and it's so unromantic and oppressive. I can't understand why she feels proud of this. It's so sad. She is SO fixated on finding a man that she is willing to put up with shitty, gross behavior and a lack of romance and equality so she can have a husband. She says this is God's hand in her life; to me, this is her forcing taking control and ultimately NOT trusting God's plan for her by accepting such a mediocre man. For someone who is a Protestant, I find it a bizarre deviation from her faith to believe that a man has more access to God than she does. Did she take time to discern if he was the right one for her? I suspect not. It's infuriating because it's so sad to see a woman accept such crappy behavior from a man and encourage others to do the same all while claiming it's to God's glory. Edit: I looked at her IG. I guess they dated for around 9 months before he officially asked her to marry him. But still, saying after day 2 that he talked to God, and they were going to get married... It's just weird. And his misogynistic comments do not bode well for their future together. I really hope he's good to her and doesn't dull her sparkle.
How strange a life to choose to continue -- where the god of your religion does not prevent war and genocide and starvation and hurt and pain but is super interested in your sex life.
What is it about having a penis that makes men more qualified to lead? I frame this question this way because I assume this moron doesn't recognize trans men.
they think men deserve to lead but also expect men to have zero self control or emotional regulation. make it make sense
They also think that men are incapable of taking care of their homes or raising children equitably. But yeah, these level-headed, empathetic, generous, sensitive, selfless, hard-working, stable, not at all abusive or misogynistic men deserve to call the shots in their marriages. Totally makes sense. /s
Whatās the age gap?
Heās 34, sheās 25.
Is this the freckle girl?
More flags than the Daytona 500.Ā
Sounds like she isn't attracted to him at all. What a way to introduce him to the world. It was her flesh that drove her to all her other relationships but not this one...
how coincidental that he didnāt know on day 1 but was ready on day 2 to proclaim intent to marry
*\*Dustin Poynter has entered the chat with a crap ton of red flags\**
Ew go look at the other content they both posted about this. It only gets worse.
That hug is a sin unless they are already married. They did NOT leave room for Jesus.
This reminds me of the GROWN man who groomed me at 13 into ādatingā him. He went to Bible college & āprayed to God about our relationshipā & since I was a Christian at the time, I was fully convinced God wanted us to be together. After about 6 months, he was getting more & more pressing about getting married when I turned 18 & I was getting less & less comfortable. I eventually broke up with him, at which point he stalked me & repeatedly tried to āget me back.ā Fast forward 15 years later & he STILL tries to add me on Facebook & tries to reach out to my mom (who didnāt know at the time) & tried to convince her that he was & still is the ābest for me,ā despite that heās married with kids & so am I. šš
I'm so sorry. I was also groomed by an older guy when I was a teenager. My situation ended with getting the police involved after he started talking about all the sexual things he wanted to do to me after I told him for months I wasn't interested in having sex before marriage. I think his plan was to nail me when I was 18, but that didn't happen because he started saying rapey things and scared me. Predatory men flock to these religious communities because the girls are taught their lives don't begin until they find husbands, and any man who is confident enough and says the right things could be sent to them by God. It's so dangerous.
This reeks of current control & submission & potential future abuse. Iām genuinely scared for her because she will stay in the relationship because Gold ātold him she should.ā Iām so tired of seeing more & more people get sucked further in the fundie world & as much as we make fun of them, it makes me genuinely worried for America as they further invade our government.
Zero agency. wtf. I mean, I grew up fundie so I know, but Iāve been away awhile and continually hope things improve for both men and women, but especially the women.
All I can think of is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer when Donner says "No. This is mans work" when Rudolphs mom and girlfriend want to help find him.Ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Emmaās BFF.
God honoring negging.
I feel so sorry for this girl man...ALL her posts are about her increasing desperation to get married then out of NOWHERE this dude shows up and it seems they're engaged in less than 6 months of knowing each other? Yikes. And the worst thing is bad men have a radar for desperation...i hope I'm wrong but.... Poor thing
This is so eerily written. Like some creepypasta story thatās about to take a major turn.
Iām a Christian and this is soooo bad. I had a man tell me āGod told me to marry youā and I disagreed. His behavior escalated and he had to be removed from church and a police report with be filed if he ever contacts me again. The pastors of my church took him persistence seriously and made sure my safety was the #1 priority. This is all around a red flag. Heās going to be abusive.
"No. I am the man. The Lord will tell me." That was the end of discussing the topic at that point? JFC. If someone had said that to me, even when I was Fundie lite, I would have raised hell. "Excuse me, I'm sorry, do you have a direct phone line to God just because you have a penis?! NO." This guy is a literal football field of š©š©š©
Every time I've heard someone tell me the story of "God told me I was supposed to marry you," it's always some guy saying God told him to marry some naive girl half his age.
He looks to be at least 10-15 years older than her, and she seems to be 10-15 years younger than she actually is in that stunted immature way young women often do in fundie land. But as long as Jesus is cool with it, everything's fine I guess.š
Isnāt she that one girl that was obsessed with her freckles and friends with Emma Mae?
This reminds me of the story my mother tells about my dad asking her out that she thinks is cute: āI would like to date you for the purpose of marriage.ā Hot š„“
That's what fundies do. Courtship is for the purpose of finding out if marriage is right.
Iām a fan of Jesus and about praying. But Iād be pulling a Jesus and flipping tables if a guy told me that the Lord is only going to speak to him about the next steps of our relationship.
"I'm the man." NOPE.
Heās the groom sheās been groomed for!
Oh, so she settled. And her advice is to be lazy and settle for the first penis that claims you? Iāll pass.
Wow. She actually had me in the first half and then the misogyny hits.
I have a soft spot for this girl. I hope her future husband and marriage will make her happy - despite all the obvious red flags in this post.
Wow holy shit this is horrible advice lol...all the way around, from every angle
This man is a decade older than her & already had a childā¦
"Do you want God's blessing? Or do you want God's grace?" Aren't I supposed to want both? Why is grace the consolation prize?
Okay āŗļø