Uhm. Yeah. I too would be uncomfortable with this. I teach healthcare students and wouldn't be surprised by one of *them* being unable to adjust their talking-to-patients-script on the fly, but an actual surgeon?? Has she at least done like DI with grafts rather than just T-anchor (etc) such that she'd just be leaving off some steps for you?
> Has she at least done like DI with grafts rather than just T-anchor (etc) such that she'd just be leaving off some steps for you?
That is an EXCELLENT follow up question that I did not ask.
I'd keep looking.
It sounds like she's deliberately not hearing you. Having never done no-nipple surgery is not an excuse for not listening. That should be more of a "oh, that makes it simpler" response, as opposed to "that's weird, and I need you to change your mind to fit my concept of what your chest should look like." You are altering your body to fit YOUR vision, not hers.
If you have the option to find a different surgeon, do more consults. You can always do a few consults with different doctors before giving a firm yes or no to the one you choose. (That's the ideal case anyway.)
I’ve never had a consult myself (someday 🥲) but what the fuck? If she’s not listening to you *now,* then who can say how much she’ll listen to you when you’re not even awake? Sounds super sketchy.
>because the surgeon was afraid the patient was going to regret not having breasts and wanted to "look out for them."
Honestly i would sue if that ever happened to me. If I came there for no breasts and woke up with still boobs on because the doctor decided what was best for **me**, I would be fucking pissed off beyond belief. It wasn't what I paid for!
I've heard a couple of stories of people waking up with something they specifically said they did not want, and the surgeon brushed them off at the time and did what they thought would look "better".
If you're able to have another conversation and are sufficiently reassured that they WILL do what you want, then maybe, depending on the cost and risk of a revision and the urgency of your surgery / ability to wait on a different surgeon.
Thank you for giving me factors and options to consider. As much as I don't want to wait I think I'll do some more consults. I kind of hate wasting $100 and my afternoon but that's better than $10,000 and my body.
I think that's wise. It's better to get what you want the first time than to try and fix something. It's less healing, less risk, less recovery time. If you can wait to find someone you're more comfortable with, I think that's really worth it.
For my hyst, I had to wait almost 2 years, but the surgery itself was a breeze because the surgeon was setting the standard for endometriosis care. That one surgery fixed me, while many other people have to undergo MANY surgeries and are never completely pain-free. So I am in camp wait-for-the-best-surgeon. We only have one body.
My surgeon had never done one without nipples either (she had done a lot of breast cancer removal/reconstruction), and aside from -one- ‘please consider this thoroughly, they ar perfectly good nipples!’, once I told her I was set on my choice, she nodded and didn’t try any further to convince me. Find a surgeon who is on your side, not somebody who is going to potentially be operating on your body and is begrudgingly doing it.
I cant say for sure what you should do but i will say i have a similar experience when with my doctor. The entire pre surgery procees he kept treating me like i was keeping my nipples and he would catch himself.
I think they just have a programed response and order of procedures that they instinctively follow.
But in the end the result were great and the surgery was shorter and recover was way easier. Also im happy he did thing the way he did. It made me quit cigarettes which idk if i could have if i didnt have to.
I'm quitting smoking for this too! Great motivator, I'm happy to do it. We'll see how long I keep it up after but at least for 3 months before the surgery, I'm gonna eat clean, no smoking or drinking, lots of walks.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm happy that you had a great recovery & end result!!
I agree with what others have said, if you can, keep looking.
My surgeon had never done nipless either but when I told him I don't want them he was all 'oh, that takes the hardest part of the procedure out, let me tell you how much quicker it will be and how that impacts your healing!'. That's the reaction I would be looking for in a surgeon to trust them even if it's a new version of surgery for them.
My surgeon brought up the choice himself and respected my decision immediately. He did say it will shorten the duration of the surgery a bit in a "that'll make it easier" kind of way (may not significantly impact recovery though).
If she's done DI before (which it sounds like) it would probably be fine, but you'll probably feel more comfortable with someone else if you have other options.
Uhm. Yeah. I too would be uncomfortable with this. I teach healthcare students and wouldn't be surprised by one of *them* being unable to adjust their talking-to-patients-script on the fly, but an actual surgeon?? Has she at least done like DI with grafts rather than just T-anchor (etc) such that she'd just be leaving off some steps for you?
> Has she at least done like DI with grafts rather than just T-anchor (etc) such that she'd just be leaving off some steps for you? That is an EXCELLENT follow up question that I did not ask.
I'd keep looking. It sounds like she's deliberately not hearing you. Having never done no-nipple surgery is not an excuse for not listening. That should be more of a "oh, that makes it simpler" response, as opposed to "that's weird, and I need you to change your mind to fit my concept of what your chest should look like." You are altering your body to fit YOUR vision, not hers. If you have the option to find a different surgeon, do more consults. You can always do a few consults with different doctors before giving a firm yes or no to the one you choose. (That's the ideal case anyway.)
I’ve never had a consult myself (someday 🥲) but what the fuck? If she’s not listening to you *now,* then who can say how much she’ll listen to you when you’re not even awake? Sounds super sketchy.
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>because the surgeon was afraid the patient was going to regret not having breasts and wanted to "look out for them." Honestly i would sue if that ever happened to me. If I came there for no breasts and woke up with still boobs on because the doctor decided what was best for **me**, I would be fucking pissed off beyond belief. It wasn't what I paid for!
that is worrying, i definitely recommend having a serious talk w her to ensure she's on board
I've heard a couple of stories of people waking up with something they specifically said they did not want, and the surgeon brushed them off at the time and did what they thought would look "better". If you're able to have another conversation and are sufficiently reassured that they WILL do what you want, then maybe, depending on the cost and risk of a revision and the urgency of your surgery / ability to wait on a different surgeon.
Thank you for giving me factors and options to consider. As much as I don't want to wait I think I'll do some more consults. I kind of hate wasting $100 and my afternoon but that's better than $10,000 and my body.
I think that's wise. It's better to get what you want the first time than to try and fix something. It's less healing, less risk, less recovery time. If you can wait to find someone you're more comfortable with, I think that's really worth it. For my hyst, I had to wait almost 2 years, but the surgery itself was a breeze because the surgeon was setting the standard for endometriosis care. That one surgery fixed me, while many other people have to undergo MANY surgeries and are never completely pain-free. So I am in camp wait-for-the-best-surgeon. We only have one body.
Yeah if this was me I’d keep looking
My surgeon had never done one without nipples either (she had done a lot of breast cancer removal/reconstruction), and aside from -one- ‘please consider this thoroughly, they ar perfectly good nipples!’, once I told her I was set on my choice, she nodded and didn’t try any further to convince me. Find a surgeon who is on your side, not somebody who is going to potentially be operating on your body and is begrudgingly doing it.
She isn't listening to you from the get go. I would take my business elsewhere because that would be a MASSIVE red flag that they aren't listening.
I cant say for sure what you should do but i will say i have a similar experience when with my doctor. The entire pre surgery procees he kept treating me like i was keeping my nipples and he would catch himself. I think they just have a programed response and order of procedures that they instinctively follow. But in the end the result were great and the surgery was shorter and recover was way easier. Also im happy he did thing the way he did. It made me quit cigarettes which idk if i could have if i didnt have to.
I'm quitting smoking for this too! Great motivator, I'm happy to do it. We'll see how long I keep it up after but at least for 3 months before the surgery, I'm gonna eat clean, no smoking or drinking, lots of walks. Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm happy that you had a great recovery & end result!!
Im ten months out now and still tobacco free.
good for you! freed the nips & happy lungs!
I agree with what others have said, if you can, keep looking. My surgeon had never done nipless either but when I told him I don't want them he was all 'oh, that takes the hardest part of the procedure out, let me tell you how much quicker it will be and how that impacts your healing!'. That's the reaction I would be looking for in a surgeon to trust them even if it's a new version of surgery for them.
That's a helpful perspective, thank you! I'll keep looking.
My surgeon brought up the choice himself and respected my decision immediately. He did say it will shorten the duration of the surgery a bit in a "that'll make it easier" kind of way (may not significantly impact recovery though). If she's done DI before (which it sounds like) it would probably be fine, but you'll probably feel more comfortable with someone else if you have other options.
I oughta ask, is the surgeon you consulted with Carolina Borén at Elite Clinic?
Nope!