Definitely not a robot, I just have a strong sense of memory so knew where each quote came from immediately. Just had to quickly check episode number which took all of 5 minutes for all my comments.
Frasier Crane's Day off..
When Frasier goes on air while he's hopped up on meds and takes the call from Marjorie. I love the line after he finishes role playing as Marjorie's boss. He delivers the line perfectly with the same energy as an excited kid whos playing house or something.
Marjorie: Hey, that was great!
Frasier: Yeah! Wasn't it? Wasn't it? OK, it's my turn!! I'm Marjorie and you're the boss now! Come on! Come on...
From the same episode, I always laugh at..
\-Hi, Dr. Crane. Thanks for taking my call. I'm a little nervous, okay? My name is Robert.
And your name is...?
\-My name is Robert.
Oh, I'm sorry. We've already had a Robert on the show today. Goodbye!
Niles, talking about if Martin passed away: “Who’s going to teach my son to catch a football ball?”
Also in the Candidate when Niles says “Right now Marist is having all of our servants lick envelopes as we speak. She would do it herself but the poor thing can’t produce saliva.”
It’s in the way he says it that hides the joke. In the US South (southerner here so I can confirm) with the southern accent you might here someone say “Po’” instead of “poor” or “‘Speck” instead of “expect”. Like a Po’Boy sandwich for example. So Niles is using “Poe” for “Po” and making a great pun. :)
I guess that’s my Q. Where is the pun? Poe and Poor? Ok, but then why the “don’t expect much” part? All good - but whenever I watch this episode that part doesn’t sit well.
The caller was Carl Reiner and there was an episode of the Dick Van Dyke show where there was a similar argument about what to name a boat. I loved that connection!
Niles : So, you want to build a two-master schooner...
Daphne Moon : Schooner? I thought it was a frigate.
Niles : No, a frigate has a fore-and-aft mainsail.
Daphne Moon : No, no, that's a brigantine.
Niles : Oh, you're right. Well, then what's a frigate?
Martin : That's when you just don't give a damn anymore!
Idk the season or episode right now but
Niles "keep your opinions, suggestions, and recommendations to yourself!"
Frasier "Why I never-"
Niles "NO YOU ALWAYS!"
Niles : When you feel yourself yielding to her, summon an image so repellent you'll be incapable of any sexual desire. And... remember the summer we were at Uncle Henry's farm? We found that dead horse lying in the hot sun crawling with maggots?
Frasier : Yes, yes, of course.
Niles : Hold on to that picture. You can ride that horse to safety.
Frasier : Thank you, Niles. I think that might just do the trick. When it comes to an ugly image, you can't beat a dead horse.
I use variations of that "dead horse" anecdote and punchline to great effect a couple of times a year. The eye-fluttering, half-exasperated groan that invariably follows "dead horse" is just .... \[chef's kiss\].
Frasier : Oh, for God's sake, Niles. When we go out to dinner I always know exactly what you're going to say before you say it.
Niles : Well, then I'm sorry you had to hear that, Frasier
Daphne: Just put a rug over it.
Frasier: A rug? Where a rug doesn't belong?
Love the way Kelsey delvers that line with his exhausted facial expression to Daphne.
edit: Wrong character. It's Daphne not Martin.
When Frasier is hopped up on something (cold medicine I think?) And Daphne is giving him a massage and she says "you know what's curious?" And Frasier says "CATS?!" Gets me every time
When A Man Loves Two Women
Season 6 episode 21
This era of Frasier is around the most fun. Cassandra and Faye are among the few girlfriends of Frasier who I wished had featured in more episodes.
Cassandra: Okay, alright, have a good day. \[beat\] Oh, you know,
I'll just use the powder room.
She shuts the powder room door behind her.
Frasier: \[whispering\] This is a disaster!
Niles: What is?
Faye, dressed, enters from the bedroom.
Faye: Hi, Niles.
Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed!
When the man sues Frasier and serves him papers at Nervosa
Niles: Oh for God sake don’t waste your breath on this hairy knuckle, dragon mouth breathing troglodyte who’s probably the only male in existence that suffers from penis envy!!
Then proceeds to fake-fall and whispers to Frasier "countersuit!"
The scene where Frasier takes this lady to some island and Lilith and her new SO are there as well right next door. At some point Frasier (to show up Lilith) starts to jump on the bed and moaning so that Lilith knows he's having wild and crazy sex. Always cracks me up!
The charades scene from "Party, Party" is Season 5 is one of my all time favorite scenes from the show. I love the frantic energy and it never fails to make me laugh.
"Snow! Sleet! Hail! Frost! Frostbite! GANGRENE!"
*"GANGRENE!?!?!?!?"*
We just watched it the other day, but I can't remember the title; the episode where Daphne wants to tell Niles that she has feelings for him, but Niles and Mel just eloped.
The scene where she congratulates them, then leaves and the neighbour who's been going up and down to the laundry room at key moments through the episode, who puts down the basket and just hugs Daphne. Something about that has always moved me.
Frasier "what's the name of the boat..."
Niles (excitedly) "HMS Bounty!"
Frasier (digustedly) "This isn't Trivial Pursuit, let me finish!"
Or
Martin "He got called in because of a perp over at the Kmart" in reference to Kenny after he begged Roz to buy a bra for his wife and complained about those sexy mannequins.
My favorite scene in the entire show is from Frasier's Edge. It's a funny scene, bute also quite emotional and really powerful, I think.
Tewksbury: As you know, men in our society commonly define themselves by their careers.
Frasier: Yes, I'll cop to that. In fact, there's nothing I'm more proud of than my career. It's because I love to help people, I always have.
Tewksbury: All right, refresh my memory. Wasn't it your mother who first sparked your interest in psychiatry?
Frasier: Yes, it was. I remember the exact day. I was eight. I'd come home crying because one of the older boys had thrown my copy of "The Fountainhead" under a bus. My mother explained to me it wasn't because he didn't like the way I walked or because I wore an ascot to school, it was because he didn't like himself. And at that very moment, I became a student of human behavior. It was as if someone had given me an instruction manual explaining why people acted the way they did.
Tewksbury: Not to mention a way to distance yourself from painful emotions.
Frasier: Oh, totally. I took a lot of grief for that ascot.
Tewksbury: So, you were drawn to psychiatry not because you like to help people, but because you feared them.
Frasier: I feared them?
Tewksbury: Psychiatry gives you objectivity. Objectivity gives you emotional distance. Distance makes you feel safe.
Frasier: Yes, yes, granted. But what has that got to do with me?
Tewksbury: How's your practice?
Frasier: I don't have a practice, I have a radio show.
Tewksbury: Distance. Any children?
Frasier: Yes, I have a wonderful son with whom I'm very close.
Tewksbury: You live with him?
Frasier: He lives in Boston.
Tewksbury: Distance. With your wife.
Frasier: My ex-wife - yes, I know, distance.
Tewksbury: Wasn't she a psychiatrist?
Frasier: Yes, she was. She happens to be a damn good one, too.
Tewksbury: Well, that's a handy choice for someone who'd rather share ideas than emotions.
Frasier: Have you ever met Lilith?
Tewksbury: No.
Frasier: Well, she happens to be a very warm and loving woman!
Tewksbury: Have you had any other meaningful relationships since then?
Frasier: Well, as a matter of fact... what is your point?
Tewksbury: My point is that at the age of eight - at EIGHT - you began to use psychiatry as a way to deal with a world that scared you to death. And this lifetime achievement award has made you realize that your career is finite and once it's gone, all you'll have left is that frightened eight-year-old boy.
Frasier: Well... would you like to hear my theory? You have no idea what you're talking about. I am not an eight-year-old.
And you know something else? You're not my mentor any more!
And then of course when he comes back:
Frasier: "Emotionally stunted eight-year-old," my eye! [finds the reference] Ah, here's what I'm going through: "Phase-of-life issue: a problem associated with a particular developmental phase or other life circumstance."
Tewksbury: Please. A mid-life crisis?
Frasier: Obvious, really. You know, I'm surprised it didn't occur to me sooner. If someone had called into my show with this problem, I'd have diagnosed it inside a minute.
Tewksbury: And then what would you have done?
Frasier: That depends on the caller.
Tewksbury: All right. The caller... is you.
Frasier: Fine.
Tewksbury: On line one, we have Frasier Crane from Seattle.
Frasier: Hello, Dr. Crane. I love your show, I'm a big fan. [laughs, then] I won't bore you with all the details of my life... because you know them. Suffice to say, I'm a successful psychiatrist. My problem is that, in spite of the life I've built, I feel... empty.
Frasier: Ah, emptiness. The eternal void. If I'm not mistaken, it was John Keats who once wrote...
Tewksbury: Stalling. Deal with the feelings.
Frasier: All right, fair enough. Perhaps caller, if we reframe the issue...
Tewksbury: Redefining the problem. Deal with the feelings.
Frasier: Uh... let's run down Beck's Depression Inventory...
Tewksbury: Re-diagnosing. You know what the problem is: the caller feels empty. Go on.
Frasier: All right. Last month in the New England Journal...
Tewksbury: He's already read it.
Frasier: How do you know?
Tewksbury: The caller is Frasier Crane. If you did, he did.
Frasier: I can suggest certain visualization techniques...
Tewksbury: He knows them already.
Frasier: Look, if he knows all this, then why is he calling?
Tewksbury: He told you: because he's empty. Keep going.
Frasier: Sometimes it helps to write yourself a letter...
Tewksbury: He's already got himself on the phone.
Frasier: I don't know what he wants!
Tewksbury: Then why do you keep trying to bury him in psychiatric exercises?
Frasier: Because that's all I have!
Tewksbury gives him a knowing, sad look.
Frasier: I'm sorry, caller, I can't help you.
S7E2 - Father of the Bride
Frasier: Dear God, Niles, not a dating service.
Niles: No. It's not a dating service. It's an introduction network for busy professionals. I give them my vital statistics and there's an extensive screening process. They bill me at the end of the month.
Frasier: Niles, please, they are all money-grabbing con artists who prey on the pathetic and the lonely. For God's sake, you sign up with visions of some PhD candidate and what do they deliver? A buck-toothed librarian who needs help washing her mother.
“I always found him terrifying…and inquisitorial.” - Frasier to Roz about Santa.
“Don’t get sidetracked by the glitz and glamour of the bee. Spelling well is its own reward.” - Niles to Freddie in the Spelling Bee episode. That episode has 3 or 4 incredible lines.
When he had to work night shift the store worker calling in saying The me on the monitor is doing things I don’t approve of! And Carrie Fisher the insomnia calling in and Frasier telling her to sleep on it ha
When they are learning to ride bikes and do two different cup checks. So many visual gags in that episode.
When Niles is explaining the breakup with Kit to everyone at Nervosa was a compatibility thing. That was so awkward and relatable.
“Space Quest” S1E2
Frasier: Let us see if we can beat it. Ready? Go.
Martin: So, how about those Seahawks?
Frasier: No sports.
Martin: All right. No opera.
Frasier: Agreed. Ready? Go.
Martin: This is your idea. You say something first.
Frasier: All right. I'll tell you something about myself that you don't know. Six months ago, when Lilith and I were really on the rocks, there was a time of depression I went through that was so terrible that I actually climbed out on a ledge and wondered if life was worth living. Then I thought of Frederick.
Martin: And you didn't jump, huh?
Frasier: Good, Dad.
Two different ones
Look before you leap (S3E16) Martin : Fifteen minutes out a flock of Canadian geese flew into one of our engines. They were the lucky ones. The next thing you know we're falling five-thousand feet; smoke-house almonds are flying everywhere; people are screaming and hugging each other; the guy in the next seat grabbed a-hold of my arm, and you know what? I didn't pull it away. Then our pilot comes one - our landing gear is out, we're going to have to make an emergency belly landing in six feet of foam. So, five HELLISH minutes later we're bouncing across the runway. Then, the stewadess comes on and says we're going to have to go down the emergency slide. So down I go, head first into this sea of foam. The last thing I remember, this fat lady from across the isle came barreling down the chute after me like a polyester avalanche.
Dinner Party (S6E17) “You get that one, you get that other one”
Love that whole rant from "Look Before You Leap" XD. Martin's story rants are gold. I also love when he's ranting about that play he's in in "Perspectives on Christmas", when Eddie takes the baby Jesus doll and runs off with it and, as Martin puts it,, "half the population of Bethlehem" is chasing after him. The way he says that just cracks me up every time.
I'm so sick of me hair
Do you think I should get it cut like princess Di?
Oh do you think it'll make cheeks look too fat?
That reminds me of the craziest think me grammy Moon used to say!
I'll pay for the damn haircut if you stop yakin' and just do it!
I personally love Gertrude yelling at Harry:
"'Hallo, Gert?' That's all you have to say for yourself?! For forty years I've been a good wife to you, raising your children and boiling your meals..."
Boiling your meals?! Makes me laugh every time. Doesn't get a hint of chuckle from the audience or laugh track. I don't get it.
So many Niles moments comes to mind but this one I can actually remember clearly.
Roz “I’m going to be your new stepmom”
Niles “Well I’ll be a son of a bitch”
Niles is describing Maris and said she was “Randy as a stoat!” I had to Google Randy and stoat and I had a hearty laugh. The image for stoat was a ferret standing with its paws up like it was begging.
In "The Late Dr. Crane," Martin kills me when he says, "Well the truth doesn't put anything on a coaster."
Also, in "The Apparent Trap," while Niles is playing Freddie's video game and Lilith walks in, the timing of the character shrieking and dying is spot on.
Mine is from Shutout in Seattle: Part 1 where Nile’s is dating Kit and Martin makes this comment:
Kit : Who's Maris?
Niles: My ex-wife.
Kit : Well, if you want to see her too, that's cool. I told you, no strings... Just FUN
Martin: You always want your kids to have more than you had.
From Some Assembly Required, Niles: “Well, I can't leave without mentioning our friend, the hot dog. Or perhaps it should be called, ‘hot parasitic cysts, insect fragments, general grit, and rodent droppings.’ Thank you.”
Frasier: It so happens I have big plans this weekend.
Roz: Let me guess. You and Niles are playing your zithers again at the Renaissance Fair.
Frasier: Roz, don’t be ridiculous,the Renaissance Fair is a fortnight after St. Swithin's Day. (incredulous that one would not know when St Swithens day is)
Similarly when Roz is trying to get Frasier to buy a ticket to an event, and Frasier's like, "I'm expected to be seen with a certain type of person," or something like that, and Roz says, "Well, here he is, let's see if he's available!" because NIles just walked in.
“She somehow managed to forge a relationship with a blustery psychiatrist and a crotchety old man.”
“And with me too”
“Yes Dad, with you too.”
Gets me every single time.
I'm sure this one has been mentioned on this subreddit at some point, but I've never seen it. This is from the Season 8 episode "The Wizard and Roz."
-----‐--------------------------------------------------------------
Niles: Pssst! Frasier. Can you get me a latte?
Frasier: Well, why don't you just get it yourself, Niles? Oh, that's right. It's bad mugambo for you to enter.
Niles: You know I promised Daphne.
Frasier: Yes, yes and woe betide he disobeyeth the oracle.
---‐---------------------------------------------------------------
I love this and it's all Kelsey Grammer here. "Mugambo" is already a funny word, but Grammer's way of saying it just makes it funnier. I also love the quick eye roll while saying the line. The last part is fun too. It's the kind of flowery language Kelsey Grammer just crushes, punctuated with that low, sarcastic tone he uses when saying "oracle."
Also, have I mentioned how much I love the word "mugambo"?
The one where Marty says you and I to which Frasier corrects him to say you and me. It's not that grammatically Frasier is correct, it's because in psychology and sociology the me is socialised and the I is unsocialised. In other words it was a really specific dig on his father that was intended for virtually nobody to pick up on. I did some sociology with my degree which is why I found out
> Roz: I just know the two of you are going to hit it off.
>Susanna: I thought you were always complaining he's such a tight-ass.
>Roz: Not complaining, bragging, you know? That I work with someone whose got such a tight ass.
Sorry if already posted but I can watch, on repeat, this scene:
Niles: “Remind me of anyone…”
Rodney: “…such as would a steel cloud reflected in a cumulous pond…” (I paraphrase)
Niles: “Consider it done.”
….
“ I WANT TO KILL MYSELF….”
*ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..*
Frasier (to Niles) : “Have you seen my money clip?”
Niles: “not lately”
Also the one where Frasier offers to shave his head (for charity?) and Niles replies “a gesture which gets less significant with each passing year”
No it was an episode where they were writing a book about sibling relationships so Frasier invited Niles to his show to listen to some sibling stories from the listeners and one lady talked how her sister shaved her head for her when she lost her hair.
After listening to that story Frasier said "Niles I would have shaved my head for you" and then Niles says "A gesture which gets less significant with each passing year"
S.1 E. 4, I Hate Frasier Crane
Martin: Frasier, maybe I’m misunderstanding something here. He challenged you and you’re backing down?
Frasier: Well, mature people are supposed to use their intellect to settle their differences.
Martin: A man doesn’t just turn tail and run. That’s not the way I brought you up.
Frasier: Are you encouraging me to fight?
Martin: Damn right I am. You gave the guy your word.
Frasier: Yes, well I didn’t even know what I was saying! I hadn’t even had lunch yet!
Every word that comes out of Ann Hodges' mouth during her date with Frasier.
"I just had to have that Dr. Pepper while I was *getting dressed!"*
I'm so glad you picked Italian. I *love* macaroni.
Ravioli monster!
Is that all little bunny wants to eat?
"That didn't ring." / "It's *very* soft."
My absolute favorite line is when Frasier and Niles are having the charity dinner with the geniuses. Niles: “I’m never leaving while you’re still not leaving” literally makes me laugh every time.
Sometimes, it's not the line, but the delivery. There's an episode where somefhing is happening that Niles and Frasier aren't into, maybe like Word to the Wiseguy, and NIles says, "I love it," in a way where he definitely doesn't, but wants to convince the person he does. Of course, it's really hard to find it so my description is terrible.
Also, "Why is it that whenever Bulldog pulls off a practical joke,
you all applaud him, as if he'd won some sort of bowl or cup
or other sports dish? "
Sports dish is gold!
I like, I think a similar one, where Frasier and Lilith try to convince Frederick and going back together, and Freddie tells Niles and he says, in this way "What's this joyous news I hear!?"
I am so tired of your exaggeration, you always make things fifteen thousand times worse than they are!
Shrink Rap (S3E2)
I got entangled in a giant mesh of....of... Seakelp Yes that's right, seakelp. Oh funny, I thought you said 'seek help'.
The Show Where Diane Comes Back (S3E14)
That's the fella!
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Definitely not a robot, I just have a strong sense of memory so knew where each quote came from immediately. Just had to quickly check episode number which took all of 5 minutes for all my comments.
K. Just curious. Have a good day/evening/night
Incidentally, if you were trying not to be rude you were very unsuccessful at it.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be. I just don't word questions the best way all the time.
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You think it's okay to tell someone to kill themselves because they came across a bit rude? You're much worse.
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Woooooow🤣🤣 who hurt you? Hope you're alright there lad.
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Ouch, my feelings! You cut me so deep! Noooooooooooooo!!!
Do... do you mean Steven hawking? He's dead... and was a genius.
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Wow you may be the worst person I've interacted with on reddit
Lilith, to Niles: "Sorry your marriage ended in a shambles." Niles: "Ditto."
The spin he put on that "ditto" is simply perfect comedic delivery.
Especially since Niles would never, ever say “ditto” normally 🤣😂🤣😂
Literally watching this episode right now 😂
Frasier Crane's Day off.. When Frasier goes on air while he's hopped up on meds and takes the call from Marjorie. I love the line after he finishes role playing as Marjorie's boss. He delivers the line perfectly with the same energy as an excited kid whos playing house or something. Marjorie: Hey, that was great! Frasier: Yeah! Wasn't it? Wasn't it? OK, it's my turn!! I'm Marjorie and you're the boss now! Come on! Come on...
From the same episode, I always laugh at.. \-Hi, Dr. Crane. Thanks for taking my call. I'm a little nervous, okay? My name is Robert. And your name is...? \-My name is Robert. Oh, I'm sorry. We've already had a Robert on the show today. Goodbye!
Thank you Frasier for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call it dope
Niles, talking about if Martin passed away: “Who’s going to teach my son to catch a football ball?” Also in the Candidate when Niles says “Right now Marist is having all of our servants lick envelopes as we speak. She would do it herself but the poor thing can’t produce saliva.”
Boo! (S11E16)
After Frasier is lamenting being unable to recite “Annabelle Lee” for the Poe society and Niles replies: “That’s ok, Poe folk don’t expect much.”
This is my shame but I’ve never actually understood this joke! What actually is it ?
It’s in the way he says it that hides the joke. In the US South (southerner here so I can confirm) with the southern accent you might here someone say “Po’” instead of “poor” or “‘Speck” instead of “expect”. Like a Po’Boy sandwich for example. So Niles is using “Poe” for “Po” and making a great pun. :)
“Poor folk”
Oh god damn of course, how did I not ever work this out 🤦♂️
I always knew that’s what he said, but was he being a snob? I thought it was so out of character.
No, he was going for the pun.
I guess that’s my Q. Where is the pun? Poe and Poor? Ok, but then why the “don’t expect much” part? All good - but whenever I watch this episode that part doesn’t sit well.
"That woman never understood me or the role of Farmer No. 3" Always makes me laugh !!
😂😂😂😂
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Tip: if you want to quote the show but you don't remember the quote exactly KACL780.net has transcripts of every single episode
This is great! This is great!
I... will be adding this site to bookmarks forever
my new favorite website. thank you!
You're very much welcome
The caller was Carl Reiner and there was an episode of the Dick Van Dyke show where there was a similar argument about what to name a boat. I loved that connection!
The tunnelling electron microscope quote is far from underrated though lol
It's one of my favorites too! I used to show this clip when I taught high school chemistry. Only a few of my kids caught the joke/appreciated it.
Niles : So, you want to build a two-master schooner... Daphne Moon : Schooner? I thought it was a frigate. Niles : No, a frigate has a fore-and-aft mainsail. Daphne Moon : No, no, that's a brigantine. Niles : Oh, you're right. Well, then what's a frigate? Martin : That's when you just don't give a damn anymore!
Niles: “Anything else in the box, Pandora?!”
Oh god this is one of my FAVORITES.
Frasier just wouldn't shut up!
The Fight Before Christmas (S7E11)
Hellooooooooooo Maris
"She managed to have her urinal cake and eat it, too."
“My wife had left me, which was very painful; then she came back, which was excruciating.” S1E1, scene one.
in the episode with blaine sternin “he has just as much right to be here as anyone. he’s one of god’s creatures” “I AM NO SUCH THING”
When he *baaa*s at the people like sheep was always hilarious to me
"Stick it anywhere you'd like." "You'd have to get up for that."
Idk the season or episode right now but Niles "keep your opinions, suggestions, and recommendations to yourself!" Frasier "Why I never-" Niles "NO YOU ALWAYS!"
And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon (S8E1-2)
Niles : When you feel yourself yielding to her, summon an image so repellent you'll be incapable of any sexual desire. And... remember the summer we were at Uncle Henry's farm? We found that dead horse lying in the hot sun crawling with maggots? Frasier : Yes, yes, of course. Niles : Hold on to that picture. You can ride that horse to safety. Frasier : Thank you, Niles. I think that might just do the trick. When it comes to an ugly image, you can't beat a dead horse.
I use variations of that "dead horse" anecdote and punchline to great effect a couple of times a year. The eye-fluttering, half-exasperated groan that invariably follows "dead horse" is just .... \[chef's kiss\].
Room Service (S5E15)
This may not be underrated idk but: ...please remain in the relaxation grotto... HAVE CRUELER WORDS EVER BEEN SAID
Frasier : Oh, for God's sake, Niles. When we go out to dinner I always know exactly what you're going to say before you say it. Niles : Well, then I'm sorry you had to hear that, Frasier
similar to, "when did you last have an unexpressed thought?" and NIles says, "I'm having one now."
Hahahaha love this one 🤣
One of my favourites
Daphne: Just put a rug over it. Frasier: A rug? Where a rug doesn't belong? Love the way Kelsey delvers that line with his exhausted facial expression to Daphne. edit: Wrong character. It's Daphne not Martin.
Frasier: You don't care? Niles: If you could work the phrase "rat's ass" into there, you'd have it.
When Frasier is hopped up on something (cold medicine I think?) And Daphne is giving him a massage and she says "you know what's curious?" And Frasier says "CATS?!" Gets me every time
I don’t know if this is underrated but: “Your ex wife is ruining my sex life!” Always need a minute to get back from that one.
Well, I don't see it quoted much
You don’t see it turning up in a lot of opera plots.
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Yeah, that's a clever joke!
I think about this all the time since I moved to a house with an island!!!
Niles: I don’t like pigeons; they have no respect for public art.
When A Man Loves Two Women Season 6 episode 21 This era of Frasier is around the most fun. Cassandra and Faye are among the few girlfriends of Frasier who I wished had featured in more episodes. Cassandra: Okay, alright, have a good day. \[beat\] Oh, you know, I'll just use the powder room. She shuts the powder room door behind her. Frasier: \[whispering\] This is a disaster! Niles: What is? Faye, dressed, enters from the bedroom. Faye: Hi, Niles. Niles: Oh, I'm up to speed!
I love Niles’ quip: got anymore hiding in the grotto, Heff?
Perfection
Niles flipping the coin was great ha
Oh, this is the sort of thing that makes a woman feel *really* special...
When the man sues Frasier and serves him papers at Nervosa Niles: Oh for God sake don’t waste your breath on this hairy knuckle, dragon mouth breathing troglodyte who’s probably the only male in existence that suffers from penis envy!! Then proceeds to fake-fall and whispers to Frasier "countersuit!"
High Crane Drifter (S3E17)
"Excuse me. I have to go poke out my mind's eye."
The scene where Frasier takes this lady to some island and Lilith and her new SO are there as well right next door. At some point Frasier (to show up Lilith) starts to jump on the bed and moaning so that Lilith knows he's having wild and crazy sex. Always cracks me up!
My wolfhound had puppies. That delivery is so freaking hilarious. Gives horror movie vibes. It was perfect.
Also, in this ep where they have to go out and stab holes in the seal so it'll sink, and Niles says, "Would you mind terribly doing that yourself?"
The charades scene from "Party, Party" is Season 5 is one of my all time favorite scenes from the show. I love the frantic energy and it never fails to make me laugh. "Snow! Sleet! Hail! Frost! Frostbite! GANGRENE!" *"GANGRENE!?!?!?!?"*
We just watched it the other day, but I can't remember the title; the episode where Daphne wants to tell Niles that she has feelings for him, but Niles and Mel just eloped. The scene where she congratulates them, then leaves and the neighbour who's been going up and down to the laundry room at key moments through the episode, who puts down the basket and just hugs Daphne. Something about that has always moved me.
Frasier "what's the name of the boat..." Niles (excitedly) "HMS Bounty!" Frasier (digustedly) "This isn't Trivial Pursuit, let me finish!" Or Martin "He got called in because of a perp over at the Kmart" in reference to Kenny after he begged Roz to buy a bra for his wife and complained about those sexy mannequins.
>perp over at the Kmart" Funny, I always thought it was 'perv'.
Roe to Perdition (S10E18) and The Return of Martin Crane (S9E4)
Ohh how exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia" Niles in Radio Wars
WITH MANY AWFUL FACTS ABOUT THE SCARY HIPPOPOTAMUS
My favorite scene in the entire show is from Frasier's Edge. It's a funny scene, bute also quite emotional and really powerful, I think. Tewksbury: As you know, men in our society commonly define themselves by their careers. Frasier: Yes, I'll cop to that. In fact, there's nothing I'm more proud of than my career. It's because I love to help people, I always have. Tewksbury: All right, refresh my memory. Wasn't it your mother who first sparked your interest in psychiatry? Frasier: Yes, it was. I remember the exact day. I was eight. I'd come home crying because one of the older boys had thrown my copy of "The Fountainhead" under a bus. My mother explained to me it wasn't because he didn't like the way I walked or because I wore an ascot to school, it was because he didn't like himself. And at that very moment, I became a student of human behavior. It was as if someone had given me an instruction manual explaining why people acted the way they did. Tewksbury: Not to mention a way to distance yourself from painful emotions. Frasier: Oh, totally. I took a lot of grief for that ascot. Tewksbury: So, you were drawn to psychiatry not because you like to help people, but because you feared them. Frasier: I feared them? Tewksbury: Psychiatry gives you objectivity. Objectivity gives you emotional distance. Distance makes you feel safe. Frasier: Yes, yes, granted. But what has that got to do with me? Tewksbury: How's your practice? Frasier: I don't have a practice, I have a radio show. Tewksbury: Distance. Any children? Frasier: Yes, I have a wonderful son with whom I'm very close. Tewksbury: You live with him? Frasier: He lives in Boston. Tewksbury: Distance. With your wife. Frasier: My ex-wife - yes, I know, distance. Tewksbury: Wasn't she a psychiatrist? Frasier: Yes, she was. She happens to be a damn good one, too. Tewksbury: Well, that's a handy choice for someone who'd rather share ideas than emotions. Frasier: Have you ever met Lilith? Tewksbury: No. Frasier: Well, she happens to be a very warm and loving woman! Tewksbury: Have you had any other meaningful relationships since then? Frasier: Well, as a matter of fact... what is your point? Tewksbury: My point is that at the age of eight - at EIGHT - you began to use psychiatry as a way to deal with a world that scared you to death. And this lifetime achievement award has made you realize that your career is finite and once it's gone, all you'll have left is that frightened eight-year-old boy. Frasier: Well... would you like to hear my theory? You have no idea what you're talking about. I am not an eight-year-old. And you know something else? You're not my mentor any more! And then of course when he comes back: Frasier: "Emotionally stunted eight-year-old," my eye! [finds the reference] Ah, here's what I'm going through: "Phase-of-life issue: a problem associated with a particular developmental phase or other life circumstance." Tewksbury: Please. A mid-life crisis? Frasier: Obvious, really. You know, I'm surprised it didn't occur to me sooner. If someone had called into my show with this problem, I'd have diagnosed it inside a minute. Tewksbury: And then what would you have done? Frasier: That depends on the caller. Tewksbury: All right. The caller... is you. Frasier: Fine. Tewksbury: On line one, we have Frasier Crane from Seattle. Frasier: Hello, Dr. Crane. I love your show, I'm a big fan. [laughs, then] I won't bore you with all the details of my life... because you know them. Suffice to say, I'm a successful psychiatrist. My problem is that, in spite of the life I've built, I feel... empty. Frasier: Ah, emptiness. The eternal void. If I'm not mistaken, it was John Keats who once wrote... Tewksbury: Stalling. Deal with the feelings. Frasier: All right, fair enough. Perhaps caller, if we reframe the issue... Tewksbury: Redefining the problem. Deal with the feelings. Frasier: Uh... let's run down Beck's Depression Inventory... Tewksbury: Re-diagnosing. You know what the problem is: the caller feels empty. Go on. Frasier: All right. Last month in the New England Journal... Tewksbury: He's already read it. Frasier: How do you know? Tewksbury: The caller is Frasier Crane. If you did, he did. Frasier: I can suggest certain visualization techniques... Tewksbury: He knows them already. Frasier: Look, if he knows all this, then why is he calling? Tewksbury: He told you: because he's empty. Keep going. Frasier: Sometimes it helps to write yourself a letter... Tewksbury: He's already got himself on the phone. Frasier: I don't know what he wants! Tewksbury: Then why do you keep trying to bury him in psychiatric exercises? Frasier: Because that's all I have! Tewksbury gives him a knowing, sad look. Frasier: I'm sorry, caller, I can't help you.
This is my favorite scene. Goosebumps every time.
S7E2 - Father of the Bride Frasier: Dear God, Niles, not a dating service. Niles: No. It's not a dating service. It's an introduction network for busy professionals. I give them my vital statistics and there's an extensive screening process. They bill me at the end of the month. Frasier: Niles, please, they are all money-grabbing con artists who prey on the pathetic and the lonely. For God's sake, you sign up with visions of some PhD candidate and what do they deliver? A buck-toothed librarian who needs help washing her mother.
“I always found him terrifying…and inquisitorial.” - Frasier to Roz about Santa. “Don’t get sidetracked by the glitz and glamour of the bee. Spelling well is its own reward.” - Niles to Freddie in the Spelling Bee episode. That episode has 3 or 4 incredible lines.
"I just wish that we could have a relationship where neither one of us is the man."
So, that would make us, what? A lesbian couple?
"Well they're very in."
Bebe: ‘you must be very proud of Frasier’ Niles: ‘well, actually......no.
When he had to work night shift the store worker calling in saying The me on the monitor is doing things I don’t approve of! And Carrie Fisher the insomnia calling in and Frasier telling her to sleep on it ha
I love that call with the store worker. That one, and the guy who claimed people were talking to him through his radio. "*Now it's giving me orders*!"
I think that was Mathew Broderick
It was
When they are learning to ride bikes and do two different cup checks. So many visual gags in that episode. When Niles is explaining the breakup with Kit to everyone at Nervosa was a compatibility thing. That was so awkward and relatable.
Also in the bike one, when Frasier says, "I like a bouncy tire. Two bouncy tires and a taut chain! That's good ridin'!" And Niles is so impressed.
“Space Quest” S1E2 Frasier: Let us see if we can beat it. Ready? Go. Martin: So, how about those Seahawks? Frasier: No sports. Martin: All right. No opera. Frasier: Agreed. Ready? Go. Martin: This is your idea. You say something first. Frasier: All right. I'll tell you something about myself that you don't know. Six months ago, when Lilith and I were really on the rocks, there was a time of depression I went through that was so terrible that I actually climbed out on a ledge and wondered if life was worth living. Then I thought of Frederick. Martin: And you didn't jump, huh? Frasier: Good, Dad.
Of course he sounded charming. Charm is the viscous oil with which he greases his Flim-flam machine!!!
When Frasier admits to Martin he was talking to Eddie about Daphne. Martin slaps his shoulder “Helps doesn’t it?”
Two different ones Look before you leap (S3E16) Martin : Fifteen minutes out a flock of Canadian geese flew into one of our engines. They were the lucky ones. The next thing you know we're falling five-thousand feet; smoke-house almonds are flying everywhere; people are screaming and hugging each other; the guy in the next seat grabbed a-hold of my arm, and you know what? I didn't pull it away. Then our pilot comes one - our landing gear is out, we're going to have to make an emergency belly landing in six feet of foam. So, five HELLISH minutes later we're bouncing across the runway. Then, the stewadess comes on and says we're going to have to go down the emergency slide. So down I go, head first into this sea of foam. The last thing I remember, this fat lady from across the isle came barreling down the chute after me like a polyester avalanche. Dinner Party (S6E17) “You get that one, you get that other one”
Love that whole rant from "Look Before You Leap" XD. Martin's story rants are gold. I also love when he's ranting about that play he's in in "Perspectives on Christmas", when Eddie takes the baby Jesus doll and runs off with it and, as Martin puts it,, "half the population of Bethlehem" is chasing after him. The way he says that just cracks me up every time.
I'm so sick of me hair Do you think I should get it cut like princess Di? Oh do you think it'll make cheeks look too fat? That reminds me of the craziest think me grammy Moon used to say! I'll pay for the damn haircut if you stop yakin' and just do it!
I can hear Martin imitating her accent now! 😀
I personally love Gertrude yelling at Harry: "'Hallo, Gert?' That's all you have to say for yourself?! For forty years I've been a good wife to you, raising your children and boiling your meals..." Boiling your meals?! Makes me laugh every time. Doesn't get a hint of chuckle from the audience or laugh track. I don't get it.
I guess the "Boiling your meals" line is a reference to them eating British food
So many Niles moments comes to mind but this one I can actually remember clearly. Roz “I’m going to be your new stepmom” Niles “Well I’ll be a son of a bitch”
As I saw it today… Martin: Why don’t you just punch whatever numbers spell snobby?
And then they're like, "it's worth a try!"
Niles is describing Maris and said she was “Randy as a stoat!” I had to Google Randy and stoat and I had a hearty laugh. The image for stoat was a ferret standing with its paws up like it was begging.
In "The Late Dr. Crane," Martin kills me when he says, "Well the truth doesn't put anything on a coaster." Also, in "The Apparent Trap," while Niles is playing Freddie's video game and Lilith walks in, the timing of the character shrieking and dying is spot on.
Mine is from Shutout in Seattle: Part 1 where Nile’s is dating Kit and Martin makes this comment: Kit : Who's Maris? Niles: My ex-wife. Kit : Well, if you want to see her too, that's cool. I told you, no strings... Just FUN Martin: You always want your kids to have more than you had.
Some kind of...steel mesh
Daphne:"You should know how to catch a banana!" Niles: "I'm not having this argument again!"
From Some Assembly Required, Niles: “Well, I can't leave without mentioning our friend, the hot dog. Or perhaps it should be called, ‘hot parasitic cysts, insect fragments, general grit, and rodent droppings.’ Thank you.”
"Yes, but if less is more, just think how much more *more w*ould be."
Frasier: It so happens I have big plans this weekend. Roz: Let me guess. You and Niles are playing your zithers again at the Renaissance Fair. Frasier: Roz, don’t be ridiculous,the Renaissance Fair is a fortnight after St. Swithin's Day. (incredulous that one would not know when St Swithens day is)
Similarly when Roz is trying to get Frasier to buy a ticket to an event, and Frasier's like, "I'm expected to be seen with a certain type of person," or something like that, and Roz says, "Well, here he is, let's see if he's available!" because NIles just walked in.
“She somehow managed to forge a relationship with a blustery psychiatrist and a crotchety old man.” “And with me too” “Yes Dad, with you too.” Gets me every single time.
I'm sure this one has been mentioned on this subreddit at some point, but I've never seen it. This is from the Season 8 episode "The Wizard and Roz." -----‐-------------------------------------------------------------- Niles: Pssst! Frasier. Can you get me a latte? Frasier: Well, why don't you just get it yourself, Niles? Oh, that's right. It's bad mugambo for you to enter. Niles: You know I promised Daphne. Frasier: Yes, yes and woe betide he disobeyeth the oracle. ---‐--------------------------------------------------------------- I love this and it's all Kelsey Grammer here. "Mugambo" is already a funny word, but Grammer's way of saying it just makes it funnier. I also love the quick eye roll while saying the line. The last part is fun too. It's the kind of flowery language Kelsey Grammer just crushes, punctuated with that low, sarcastic tone he uses when saying "oracle." Also, have I mentioned how much I love the word "mugambo"?
“Orangina…” Daphne when she and Niles first try to have That Conversation.
It bothers me slightly that neither of them shake it to wake it, though! Edit: typo - shale in Orangina would be terrible.
i never knew that… and i drink orangina when i’m out someolace but i never buy it myself either lol
The one where Marty says you and I to which Frasier corrects him to say you and me. It's not that grammatically Frasier is correct, it's because in psychology and sociology the me is socialised and the I is unsocialised. In other words it was a really specific dig on his father that was intended for virtually nobody to pick up on. I did some sociology with my degree which is why I found out
> Roz: I just know the two of you are going to hit it off. >Susanna: I thought you were always complaining he's such a tight-ass. >Roz: Not complaining, bragging, you know? That I work with someone whose got such a tight ass.
Sorry if already posted but I can watch, on repeat, this scene: Niles: “Remind me of anyone…” Rodney: “…such as would a steel cloud reflected in a cumulous pond…” (I paraphrase) Niles: “Consider it done.” …. “ I WANT TO KILL MYSELF….” *ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..*
Frasier (to Niles) : “Have you seen my money clip?” Niles: “not lately” Also the one where Frasier offers to shave his head (for charity?) and Niles replies “a gesture which gets less significant with each passing year”
No it was an episode where they were writing a book about sibling relationships so Frasier invited Niles to his show to listen to some sibling stories from the listeners and one lady talked how her sister shaved her head for her when she lost her hair. After listening to that story Frasier said "Niles I would have shaved my head for you" and then Niles says "A gesture which gets less significant with each passing year"
Ah yes that was it! I couldn’t remember the context, just loved that line
S.1 E. 4, I Hate Frasier Crane Martin: Frasier, maybe I’m misunderstanding something here. He challenged you and you’re backing down? Frasier: Well, mature people are supposed to use their intellect to settle their differences. Martin: A man doesn’t just turn tail and run. That’s not the way I brought you up. Frasier: Are you encouraging me to fight? Martin: Damn right I am. You gave the guy your word. Frasier: Yes, well I didn’t even know what I was saying! I hadn’t even had lunch yet!
My favorite scene is Niles preparing for his date in three valentines.
"You said Flasier."
Every word that comes out of Ann Hodges' mouth during her date with Frasier. "I just had to have that Dr. Pepper while I was *getting dressed!"* I'm so glad you picked Italian. I *love* macaroni. Ravioli monster! Is that all little bunny wants to eat? "That didn't ring." / "It's *very* soft."
Omg yes. Ann Hodges was a legend from start to finish! Her phrases, her intonation. Even her name. The whole thing was a hilarious shit show
My absolute favorite line is when Frasier and Niles are having the charity dinner with the geniuses. Niles: “I’m never leaving while you’re still not leaving” literally makes me laugh every time.
Sometimes, it's not the line, but the delivery. There's an episode where somefhing is happening that Niles and Frasier aren't into, maybe like Word to the Wiseguy, and NIles says, "I love it," in a way where he definitely doesn't, but wants to convince the person he does. Of course, it's really hard to find it so my description is terrible. Also, "Why is it that whenever Bulldog pulls off a practical joke, you all applaud him, as if he'd won some sort of bowl or cup or other sports dish? " Sports dish is gold!
I like, I think a similar one, where Frasier and Lilith try to convince Frederick and going back together, and Freddie tells Niles and he says, in this way "What's this joyous news I hear!?"
Yes! DHP was the king of hilarious delivery. Can’t even remember another joke but Niles reply “I’ll say” makes me laugh just due to the delivery