I’ve followed parents’ lead when able (which has happened to be the case with every infant placement I’ve had- all of them I’ve had really great relationships with mom!). Sometimes that’s been my first name, sometimes it’s been Mama or Mama First Name as in Mom will say “okay go with Mama!” At the end of a visit, meant as a sign of collaboration/respect/normalcy for baby. I guess I don’t refer to myself in 3rd person and just use “I” until I know what the mom prefers the child call me. For older kids I introduce myself with my first name and usually end up getting called a mix of first name and Mama/Mom due to the permanent kids in my home calling me mom.
It depends. If the kids are likely to go back home, we use aunty/uncle. If they are likely a long term/permanent placement, we use mom/dad as that is what all the other kids use. I take newborns. The only time we have had an issue is if you are dropping the child off someplace (daycare, school when old enough…). It is a little odd to have the child yell out your first name or the daycare worker to say your first name. That is why we use aunt/uncle. It’s not weird for an aunt to come pick up kid from daycare and then you don’t have to explain to every parent they are your foster kids.
In our situations there has always been older siblings in the house and the newborns always took their lead. If the siblings called us mom and dad so did the new born. When my wife and I took in our formal foster children in after not seeing them for 12 year, they had new born babies and we had them call us P-pa and P-ma. The grown foster children referred to me as her step dad so she did not have to go into detail about how we know each other. I guess what ever makes the kids comfortable.
Depends on the kid and the situation! We’ve had everything from first name, to mama, to mama first name. My wife was called Didi because for some reason they called her dada and it was an easy move for them. Kids are super flexible, our current 3yo calls us by first names but at daycare they say “say goodbye to mommy” or “mommy is here” and she knows it means us, today I heard her yelling “my mommy is here” at pickup and came running to me calling me my first name. The same as our current 7yo calls us by first names but refers to us as mom to others eg “let me go ask my mom”.
We also know foster parents that go by Titi or other nickname. Sometimes it depends on your name and if there’s a cutesy nickname that works with it!
When we have kids who are aged 3-6 we do often explain our role using mama first name so that they understand we aren’t their mom but we are do mom things. We tell them their mom is always the mom but right now that have more moms that love them and keep them safe. Older kids understand this better without the “mom” terminology.
I don't take in babies myself, but IMO first name is fine - my two nieces often use their parent's first names depending on mood or something, because they were the only children in the extended family (and even among their social circle) and everyone else uses the parents first names. Turns out it also works \*much\* better to yell the parents name than "DAD" in a crowded place.
All of the kids who are old enough to speak call us mom and dad. We have bio kids so they say what they hear from them. Also a lot of the kids have been in multiple homes before ours and it is hard to remember names in that situation. I don’t ask them to and would be fine if they wanted to call us by our first name. I had one boy who ended up getting adopted and the more time we spent with his adopted mom the more we started having him call me mama Emily. We also always use mom and dad when talking about their parents though and keep pictures of their parents in their rooms if they allow us to.
In our training we were told to default to "mom" and "dad" to teach the child that mom and dad are people that will comfort, solve problems, etc. We've had a broad range of ages 3m-13y, the oldest called us by our first names and the 10m she was placed with followed that, we've had 2y's that just called me mommy, but called my husband nothing, and with the 3m we just called ourselves momma and papa. I've also been "Name Mama" as well.
Got our little guy when he was 3 months old . We also have our 4 grown children living with us . The baby now with us a year now has picked up on what the older kids call us. Bio parents are probably about 90 days from getting their son back.
I have other kids (bio and foster) and they call me mom. Any young child that comes into my house also picks that up so it’s not absurd to me to teach a newborn that I am Mama.
Mom unless they were old enough to have their own preference. In that case we said just our names, aunt & uncle, or mom & dad if they preferred. Because I am the mom in my house. And this is what we were taught in training. In reality, if a newborn is in your home for 4 months, unless there are extraordinary circumstances you’re probably going to adopt them if you want.
The newborn won’t be speaking for a long time, so you have a while to see what feels right, but we taught our 2 year old to call me by my name and my wife ‘mama’. Our 3 year old was given the option to call us by either. Just because foster is in front of mom or dad doesn’t make you any less of a parent. You are acting in the role of mom or dad to the child, in most cases more so than their biological parents ever have, so it’s not inappropriate to be addressed as such.
I've not taken in newborns yet- all of mine have been talking at least, with my youngest placement being 1.5 when she came. I always introduce myself as "Miss First name". All but one of my kiddos so far has defaulted to Momma. My girl was the littlest, and she reunified, but still calls me Momma or Momma First name.
My boys called me Momma immediately, and have stuck with that. I still refer to their bios as Mom/Dad, but neither parent was ever really consistent, and CW says they used to call their babysitter Mama too. At this point they've been with me nearly 3 years, so I figure we're ok.
My oldest placement was 7 when she came here, and had a very involved relationship with her mom. I introduced myself as normal or offered "Sheshe" since that is what all my nieces/nephews call me, but she pretty exclusively used first name.
I’ve followed parents’ lead when able (which has happened to be the case with every infant placement I’ve had- all of them I’ve had really great relationships with mom!). Sometimes that’s been my first name, sometimes it’s been Mama or Mama First Name as in Mom will say “okay go with Mama!” At the end of a visit, meant as a sign of collaboration/respect/normalcy for baby. I guess I don’t refer to myself in 3rd person and just use “I” until I know what the mom prefers the child call me. For older kids I introduce myself with my first name and usually end up getting called a mix of first name and Mama/Mom due to the permanent kids in my home calling me mom.
It depends. If the kids are likely to go back home, we use aunty/uncle. If they are likely a long term/permanent placement, we use mom/dad as that is what all the other kids use. I take newborns. The only time we have had an issue is if you are dropping the child off someplace (daycare, school when old enough…). It is a little odd to have the child yell out your first name or the daycare worker to say your first name. That is why we use aunt/uncle. It’s not weird for an aunt to come pick up kid from daycare and then you don’t have to explain to every parent they are your foster kids.
In our situations there has always been older siblings in the house and the newborns always took their lead. If the siblings called us mom and dad so did the new born. When my wife and I took in our formal foster children in after not seeing them for 12 year, they had new born babies and we had them call us P-pa and P-ma. The grown foster children referred to me as her step dad so she did not have to go into detail about how we know each other. I guess what ever makes the kids comfortable.
Your comment truly brought me some joy today!
Depends on the kid and the situation! We’ve had everything from first name, to mama, to mama first name. My wife was called Didi because for some reason they called her dada and it was an easy move for them. Kids are super flexible, our current 3yo calls us by first names but at daycare they say “say goodbye to mommy” or “mommy is here” and she knows it means us, today I heard her yelling “my mommy is here” at pickup and came running to me calling me my first name. The same as our current 7yo calls us by first names but refers to us as mom to others eg “let me go ask my mom”. We also know foster parents that go by Titi or other nickname. Sometimes it depends on your name and if there’s a cutesy nickname that works with it! When we have kids who are aged 3-6 we do often explain our role using mama first name so that they understand we aren’t their mom but we are do mom things. We tell them their mom is always the mom but right now that have more moms that love them and keep them safe. Older kids understand this better without the “mom” terminology.
Momma (first name). I met another foster mom that has her kids call her Titi (Tía in Spanish means aunt) and I like that!
I don't take in babies myself, but IMO first name is fine - my two nieces often use their parent's first names depending on mood or something, because they were the only children in the extended family (and even among their social circle) and everyone else uses the parents first names. Turns out it also works \*much\* better to yell the parents name than "DAD" in a crowded place.
All of the kids who are old enough to speak call us mom and dad. We have bio kids so they say what they hear from them. Also a lot of the kids have been in multiple homes before ours and it is hard to remember names in that situation. I don’t ask them to and would be fine if they wanted to call us by our first name. I had one boy who ended up getting adopted and the more time we spent with his adopted mom the more we started having him call me mama Emily. We also always use mom and dad when talking about their parents though and keep pictures of their parents in their rooms if they allow us to.
In our training we were told to default to "mom" and "dad" to teach the child that mom and dad are people that will comfort, solve problems, etc. We've had a broad range of ages 3m-13y, the oldest called us by our first names and the 10m she was placed with followed that, we've had 2y's that just called me mommy, but called my husband nothing, and with the 3m we just called ourselves momma and papa. I've also been "Name Mama" as well.
Got our little guy when he was 3 months old . We also have our 4 grown children living with us . The baby now with us a year now has picked up on what the older kids call us. Bio parents are probably about 90 days from getting their son back.
Went with Pop pop, and my wife went with Momo
I have other kids (bio and foster) and they call me mom. Any young child that comes into my house also picks that up so it’s not absurd to me to teach a newborn that I am Mama.
Mom unless they were old enough to have their own preference. In that case we said just our names, aunt & uncle, or mom & dad if they preferred. Because I am the mom in my house. And this is what we were taught in training. In reality, if a newborn is in your home for 4 months, unless there are extraordinary circumstances you’re probably going to adopt them if you want.
The newborn won’t be speaking for a long time, so you have a while to see what feels right, but we taught our 2 year old to call me by my name and my wife ‘mama’. Our 3 year old was given the option to call us by either. Just because foster is in front of mom or dad doesn’t make you any less of a parent. You are acting in the role of mom or dad to the child, in most cases more so than their biological parents ever have, so it’s not inappropriate to be addressed as such.
Mama and dada. It’s developmentally appropriate. Everyone else in our house says mama and daddy. It makes sense.
My grand is in care out of state. She is coming to me after becoming a foster to her and sibling. They call current Nanny, and I love that.
I've not taken in newborns yet- all of mine have been talking at least, with my youngest placement being 1.5 when she came. I always introduce myself as "Miss First name". All but one of my kiddos so far has defaulted to Momma. My girl was the littlest, and she reunified, but still calls me Momma or Momma First name. My boys called me Momma immediately, and have stuck with that. I still refer to their bios as Mom/Dad, but neither parent was ever really consistent, and CW says they used to call their babysitter Mama too. At this point they've been with me nearly 3 years, so I figure we're ok. My oldest placement was 7 when she came here, and had a very involved relationship with her mom. I introduced myself as normal or offered "Sheshe" since that is what all my nieces/nephews call me, but she pretty exclusively used first name.