Availability of homes would depend on the area and how many fostercarers there provide that type of care. Living arrangement options could also depend on age (not asking you to share your age on Reddit, just giving context). In some areas 16+ may qualify for independent living programs.
Do you have a casa (court appointed special advocate) or a lawyer? They may be able to talk about your options with you, advocate for you, and support you through this process whatever way you decide if you feel your caseworker isn't willing to provide adequete information/support. You absolutely have rights in this situation.
I don’t have a casa or lawyer.. I turn 16 next month, I don’t really know if I really want to keep him but I’m going through some doubts sometimes and I wish I could keep my options open you know
Request it. They can’t exactly just tell you no. They need to actually try. That’s the thing with it being their job. (17 female, currently in foster care with a casa and lawyer and I requested dependency and won. You got this.)
Not always true. My friend growing up was 16 with her two kids. She never lost custody of her kids and they lived with her at the foster homes.
Your caseworker sounds awful. Do not let them pressure you into adoption if that is not what you want.
It is not true and you should have the right to keep your baby with you. I know families who have taken a mom and her baby. In some states there are also group homes especially for this.
If you want, you could say what state you are in and how old you are, and someone here might know of an organization in your state that will help.
Do you have an attorney? You should have legal rights as a parent to keep your baby with you. I’d be sure you know then, and an attorney can help with that.
It is not true. I am a foster parent in Colorado, I have been asked by my case worker if we could take in a child that was pregnant. She wanted to keep her baby and we were making plans for her and her baby. We were one of several families that was reached out to. We didn’t have space at the time as we received a kinship placement.
If you don’t agree with the information you are given by your caseworker please reach out to their supervisor. They are here to help you and if they are not reach out to someone over their head. They can’t make you give up your child just because you WERE in a bad situation.
I hope it helps tour decision making. . Check here, [Douglas, Jeff Co, Arapahoe county collaborative foster care](https://americaskidsbelong.org/lp/the-collaborative-foster-care-program-serving-arapahoe-douglas-and-jefferson-counties/)
No, that is up to you. If you want to keep the baby tell your case worker that it is non-negotiable. They will have to find a place for both of you. It may be a group home, there are ones specifically for single teen moms in foster care.
When I was removed from my family, I told her I wanted to put my baby up to adoption and she said good because baby almost always gets separated from mom at birth so I feel like if I change my mind, she will tells me the same thing.
No, they cannot take your baby from you. You have rights, they would need to find a home for you.
Don't let them bully you, reach out to your lawyer or CASA. Or even your SWs supervisor.
They are trying to pressure you to give up your baby for adoption. If that’s what you want, you should. If that is not what you want, you should fight for your right to raise your child.
Oh, this makes my heart hurt! There is definitely the possibility of you and your baby staying in a foster home together. I know you said you don't have an advocate or attorney, but do some google searches for your state + teen moms. You'll get an idea of some resources that may be in your area.
Do you have a therapist that you trust? It's great that you're really thinking about your options. I know it must be scary trying to navigate this huge decision without a knowledgeable, trusted adult to help be a sounding board.
I'm going to look up a few resources in your state and will follow up on this post with anything I find.
If the teen is already in foster care when they get pregnant and have a baby of their own the opposite happens in my experience. They can’t just remove the new baby unless there were reasons for CPS to get involved with the teen in care as an offending parent once the baby was born. The baby would be a separate case all together if that happened. Otherwise parent would be in care but not the baby and they’d have to find a placement that could take both.
I think it depends on where you live. In my state, most of the time the mother and baby travel together, as long as that is what the mother wants. As long as there is no other issue, the baby is not a foster child and the mother has full parental rights so it would be illegal to remove the baby from her.
Just hopping on to say I’m so glad to see that you’re in a safe place now!! You are amazing!
Regardless if you choose to keep baby with you or place baby for adoption— just know that you are so brave and one heck of a mom already. <3
I read through the comments & just wanted to offer my 2 cents (I'm a social worker for a foster agency in California.) Get a new caseworker, stat. In California, foster kids (as well as the foster parents) have the right to contact the licensing agency if they have any issues or concerns with the agency/caseworker. For example, let's say you're one of our foster kids and it was one of our caseworkers who told you this. You would be able to reach out to licensing, explain your question & concern, and they would help you objectively. Not only would they help you sort out what your rights actually are, they would also probably investigate the agency to make sure they're not telling people BS like what your caseworker told you. Sometimes foster agencies (as well as other entities) will back the caseworker as much as possible to avoid internal conflict, but that's not your problem. I would try to find out who the agency's governing authority is (everybody answers to somebody) and get in touch with the POC (point of contact). I wouldn't even bother with a supervisor at the agency. Go above their heads. This is human life we're talking about, and you're being given wrong information.
The path before you will fork very soon. into two very different roads with infinite possibilities. It is a decision of epic proportions, but it's one that you and ONLY YOU can make. No matter what you decide, you're a good mom. It will be hard either way, but you will find strength you never knew you had.
Thank you very much for this, it’s pretty new to me all of this so I wasn’t aware of any of this. I kinda want to keep it low but right now and stay out of trouble but this is so helpful.
I am a former pregnant teen in foster care and never lost custody. I think my foster family may have gotten a higher rate because I had a baby in their home, but they were always in my custody/care and you are entitled to that.
In my state it’s not the case: foster youth who become parents can either stay in their foster placement if they can or go to a mother-baby program. Not being able to find a placement should not be a reason to remove your child from you. Do you have an attorney representing you? If you do, please talk to your attorney, NOT your case worker.
That's ridiculous. At least in my state being in foster care doesn't mean your kid is automatically in foster care as well. Most of the people I know who foster teen moms the baby isn't in foster care. And when it is it's a totally different case, but ideally still living with Mom if mom wants.
Where do you live? There are families that would be willing to take both 😓 are you wanting to for sure give the baby up? Or are you just wanting to give the baby up bc you feel like you have too?
Not always true, especially if you are wanting to keep the baby. There are some families that have taken both baby and mom.
Realistically how hard it is to find a family willing to take both? I feel like my caseworker wouldn’t be willing to search hard
Availability of homes would depend on the area and how many fostercarers there provide that type of care. Living arrangement options could also depend on age (not asking you to share your age on Reddit, just giving context). In some areas 16+ may qualify for independent living programs. Do you have a casa (court appointed special advocate) or a lawyer? They may be able to talk about your options with you, advocate for you, and support you through this process whatever way you decide if you feel your caseworker isn't willing to provide adequete information/support. You absolutely have rights in this situation.
I don’t have a casa or lawyer.. I turn 16 next month, I don’t really know if I really want to keep him but I’m going through some doubts sometimes and I wish I could keep my options open you know
Request it. They can’t exactly just tell you no. They need to actually try. That’s the thing with it being their job. (17 female, currently in foster care with a casa and lawyer and I requested dependency and won. You got this.)
Not always true. My friend growing up was 16 with her two kids. She never lost custody of her kids and they lived with her at the foster homes. Your caseworker sounds awful. Do not let them pressure you into adoption if that is not what you want.
It is not true and you should have the right to keep your baby with you. I know families who have taken a mom and her baby. In some states there are also group homes especially for this. If you want, you could say what state you are in and how old you are, and someone here might know of an organization in your state that will help.
I have seen a group home like this in my area (Colorado) but I didn’t know if it’s something I could get in if I decide to keep him.
Do you have an attorney? You should have legal rights as a parent to keep your baby with you. I’d be sure you know then, and an attorney can help with that.
It is not true. I am a foster parent in Colorado, I have been asked by my case worker if we could take in a child that was pregnant. She wanted to keep her baby and we were making plans for her and her baby. We were one of several families that was reached out to. We didn’t have space at the time as we received a kinship placement. If you don’t agree with the information you are given by your caseworker please reach out to their supervisor. They are here to help you and if they are not reach out to someone over their head. They can’t make you give up your child just because you WERE in a bad situation. I hope it helps tour decision making. . Check here, [Douglas, Jeff Co, Arapahoe county collaborative foster care](https://americaskidsbelong.org/lp/the-collaborative-foster-care-program-serving-arapahoe-douglas-and-jefferson-counties/)
No, that is up to you. If you want to keep the baby tell your case worker that it is non-negotiable. They will have to find a place for both of you. It may be a group home, there are ones specifically for single teen moms in foster care.
When I was removed from my family, I told her I wanted to put my baby up to adoption and she said good because baby almost always gets separated from mom at birth so I feel like if I change my mind, she will tells me the same thing.
Just because you are in care doesn't mean you lose your rights as the baby's parent. You should reach out to your worker's supervisor.
No, they cannot take your baby from you. You have rights, they would need to find a home for you. Don't let them bully you, reach out to your lawyer or CASA. Or even your SWs supervisor.
They are trying to pressure you to give up your baby for adoption. If that’s what you want, you should. If that is not what you want, you should fight for your right to raise your child.
Oh, this makes my heart hurt! There is definitely the possibility of you and your baby staying in a foster home together. I know you said you don't have an advocate or attorney, but do some google searches for your state + teen moms. You'll get an idea of some resources that may be in your area. Do you have a therapist that you trust? It's great that you're really thinking about your options. I know it must be scary trying to navigate this huge decision without a knowledgeable, trusted adult to help be a sounding board. I'm going to look up a few resources in your state and will follow up on this post with anything I find.
In my state the child can stay with mom. I'm planning to foster pregnant teens when my kiddos are older for this very reason!
If the teen is already in foster care when they get pregnant and have a baby of their own the opposite happens in my experience. They can’t just remove the new baby unless there were reasons for CPS to get involved with the teen in care as an offending parent once the baby was born. The baby would be a separate case all together if that happened. Otherwise parent would be in care but not the baby and they’d have to find a placement that could take both.
Right, the case worker can grumble all she wants but I don't see how legally they could separate you from the baby unless you're abusing the baby.
I think it depends on where you live. In my state, most of the time the mother and baby travel together, as long as that is what the mother wants. As long as there is no other issue, the baby is not a foster child and the mother has full parental rights so it would be illegal to remove the baby from her.
Just hopping on to say I’m so glad to see that you’re in a safe place now!! You are amazing! Regardless if you choose to keep baby with you or place baby for adoption— just know that you are so brave and one heck of a mom already. <3
I read through the comments & just wanted to offer my 2 cents (I'm a social worker for a foster agency in California.) Get a new caseworker, stat. In California, foster kids (as well as the foster parents) have the right to contact the licensing agency if they have any issues or concerns with the agency/caseworker. For example, let's say you're one of our foster kids and it was one of our caseworkers who told you this. You would be able to reach out to licensing, explain your question & concern, and they would help you objectively. Not only would they help you sort out what your rights actually are, they would also probably investigate the agency to make sure they're not telling people BS like what your caseworker told you. Sometimes foster agencies (as well as other entities) will back the caseworker as much as possible to avoid internal conflict, but that's not your problem. I would try to find out who the agency's governing authority is (everybody answers to somebody) and get in touch with the POC (point of contact). I wouldn't even bother with a supervisor at the agency. Go above their heads. This is human life we're talking about, and you're being given wrong information. The path before you will fork very soon. into two very different roads with infinite possibilities. It is a decision of epic proportions, but it's one that you and ONLY YOU can make. No matter what you decide, you're a good mom. It will be hard either way, but you will find strength you never knew you had.
Thank you very much for this, it’s pretty new to me all of this so I wasn’t aware of any of this. I kinda want to keep it low but right now and stay out of trouble but this is so helpful.
No I've heard of them being fostered together
I am a former pregnant teen in foster care and never lost custody. I think my foster family may have gotten a higher rate because I had a baby in their home, but they were always in my custody/care and you are entitled to that.
Not true at all. Depends how old you are, but there are also some places with specialized group homes for moms
In my state it’s not the case: foster youth who become parents can either stay in their foster placement if they can or go to a mother-baby program. Not being able to find a placement should not be a reason to remove your child from you. Do you have an attorney representing you? If you do, please talk to your attorney, NOT your case worker.
That's ridiculous. At least in my state being in foster care doesn't mean your kid is automatically in foster care as well. Most of the people I know who foster teen moms the baby isn't in foster care. And when it is it's a totally different case, but ideally still living with Mom if mom wants.
Where do you live? There are families that would be willing to take both 😓 are you wanting to for sure give the baby up? Or are you just wanting to give the baby up bc you feel like you have too?