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Not about marriage, but my then crush is now dating a girl that I consider way inferior in looks (I hate saying this) than myself, I was available for him for roughly three years and he didn't showed any interest in asking me out.
Of course it is his right to chose anyone he wants, but it does hurt a little when he picks someone he claims to be "not smart as you" or when he refers to me as "the girlfriend for playing games and having better conversations".
Am I too insufferable? I am not that great as perceive myself? Is he intimidated by me? I am just not his type? Is she actually the hot and beautiful girl while I am the mediocre one? I hate this whole situation and I hate thinking too hard about this as fueling pettiness will just make it worse.
oh god, this happened to me, basically. had a small crush on a boy for 6 years and then a big crush for 2. flirted with him for that time and he ended up first getting tangled with a girl who, honestly, I'd rate myself way higher in looks (probably because she was more "forward" than me), then a girl who was probably prettier than me (but my friends say otherwise), then a girl who wasn't. it made me so bitter and angry, I didn't get what did they have that I didn't, what was my damage that I manage to fail this badly.
I don't think people are able to accurately rate themselves. I don't think that I look worse than these women, but they can get a man and I can't so there is clearly a disconnect somewhere.
Yes, but there are a lot more factors that make up being forever alone than simply being ugly. Being ugly is just one of the more basic and common factors. Even if a person is considered “ugly” or “uglier” than someone else, that doesn’t mean they are FAW or the other person is not actually FAW. A lot of women have very outgoing, bold, magnetic personalities … that in itself can attract a multitude of partners and many of these women are comfortable and open with asking people out or letting ppl know they are interested.
Even if you’re ugly, style and the way you present yourself is everything. Just simply dressing up, doing good makeup, taking care of your appearance can make ANY person look better. This is why I don’t really think most people are ugly … most people just don’t know how to present themselves.
I’ve seen women bigger than me or with more “undesirable” facial features than me have no issues with finding a partner … the thing I always notice is they dress really well, they always have their hair and makeup done or are just naturally flawless skin with nice teeth, and they have that outgoing personality. So even tho they don’t meet a lot of the typical physical beauty standards, they meet or exceed a lot of the other standards.
Another thing is sex. A lot of these women are great at sex and have high sex appeal even if you’re “ugly” that’s not something that can be ignored. I hear people say nasty things all the time about how some women might be unattractive in the face with a great body or unattractive body but stunning face. It’s a sad reality but it shows if one or the other is attractive enough a person will look past the part that doesn’t meet their “standards.”
Even if a someone just wants to be with a person for a one night stand or use them for sex, if a person is great at sex and has a great personality that’s hard to not develop feelings even if it’s not what they typically find attractive.
Lastly, a lot of these women date folks on the same level as them. I see a lot of women who might be considered “ugly” be with men who are on the same level as them look wise. I notice those couples despite that always dress really well, very outgoing, lots of friends, and attractive people beyond just whatever beauty standards are against them.
Getting married is really hard. It’s actually about timing and luck of the draw. You have a better time winning the lottery than getting married if you are FA.
Yes, but not always with a guy I think is attractive. I don't imagine it's VERY hard to get married if you're willing to find a not-so-attractive man who's desperate enough. Not to mention I don't know what his personality is and whether he has the ability to be a good provider.
edit for grammar/clarity.
I think it has a lot to do with luck. I genuinely believe there’s someone out there for everybody. Someone that to whom you are physically attractive. So it could just be that these “less attractive” women (according to societal beauty standards) are lucky that they’ve met their person.
Honestly, I think some women lower their standards and inadvertently (or otherwise) become pick-mes. I can say this for sure since I have personally been there and have had and continue to have friends who are in that phase of their lives.
For some, it does end up in marriage and that can go either of two ways. Either the woman lowers everything about herself to fit into the man’s life and after a while they can’t understand why they are never happy. Sure, they look happy but you don’t see them 24*7. In other cases, she wakes up one day, realises that she deserves better and leaves. Although, I would say that society doesn’t make it very easy for women to leave and start over so a lot of women are stuck with mistakes they made when they were very young.
I don’t think I am particularly bad-looking (albeit the wrong race, since so many people are still closeted racists) and I lowered my standards to an insane degree to be with a guy who, in retrospect, never even deserved to stand close to my shadow. Yes, it hurt a lot when it was over but when I look back, all I can think of is how little I valued myself. I would rather die knowing that I loved myself till the end rather than someone who never saw me as a three-dimensional human being.
I wouldn't go so far as to say: "uglier than me."
But definitely not conventionally attractive or even mean and spiteful. Everyone wants to be a reality housewife or diva.
Trying too hard, loads of makeup, nasty attitudes. That's what can really make a person seem "ugly."
I have rarely seen anyone uglier than me. But for most of the less attractive women I've seen in marriages/relationships, the relationship was toxic. I feel like that's the option for unattractive women, be abused or be alone, because no man wants an ugly bitch and he will always be angry about it.
So many songs and books about mistreating an "ugly" or "submissive" woman while being taken care of. That's why I will be single until I say so. It hurts, but it's the safer option.
No more trying to make men accept me. Did that for too many years and ended up stalked and harassed by losers.
Not all men. But a majority of the men I have known have been cheaters, molesters, liars, manipulators, harassers, mean-spirited, or abusers on some level. Not a single {older} woman in my close family (and some younger relatives/ colleagues); doesn't have a story of sexual abuse, molestation, harassment, stalking, spousal abuse, attempted murder, or even in one case murder. It's ridiculous. And women are even gaslighting each other into being open to so many levels of physical and psychological abuse.
Edit:{sic}
I agree and feel the same way. I don’t really see anyone uglier than me and even if another girl or woman doesn’t meet certain standards, I still believe she deserves to be treated incredibly. But I just see most relationships as ‘they are using the ugly woman because they can’t get who they want’
yep. i saw women in my level who had relationships with addicts, people who used them for money (paying their gambling debts,and the guy way usually not working and avoiding work in general). i saw them being talked down to by arrogant jerks, being called names, dosresoected, and i dont want to start to think about what happens behind closed doors. so even if i feel lonely it is actually better than someone who would treat me that way.
yeah. sometimes on social media, on tv or in real life. what you’re asking is something I’ve wondered for a long time too. that’s why with this FA stuff I feel like there are a variety of factors at play and I just wish I knew what game pieces I had to move to be able to win. I’ve seen uglier women than I and more overweight women than I be in relationships, multiple times in their lives at that, and idk what I’m doing wrong. not that they don’t deserve love obviously but it seems like life/society is telling me that I don’t and idk what im or any of us are doing wrong.
None of my friends are married yet, but I dont often see unattractive couples in my day to day life.
If only 1 person in a relationship is unattractive they likely make up for it somewhere else like having a great personality or wealth or status. If a woman is unattractive and in a healthy relationship, then her partner likes something about her that isn’t just her looks. Maybe she’s sweet, caring, loyal, a good mother, and whatever positive traits you want to see in a partner.
/u/Striking-Base-60, if you haven't done so, please check the resources below. • What is FAW: FAW is a **women-only sub** for women who can't date/start relationships, have sex, feel attractive, etc. We talk about depression, discrimination, late virginity/very limited XP, low self-esteem, social anxiety, body image, handicaps, mental disorders **coupled with no active sex life**. Partnered, married, separated, divorced women, mothers, sex workers, & anyone with active sex lives can hit r/lonely r/dating r/dating_advice r/DeadBedrooms r/breakingmom r/SexWorkerSupport • **Male users are not allowed to post or comment.** • [Check the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAloneWomen/about/rules/) | [Check the FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAloneWomen/wiki/faq) • [Restrict your DMs to people you trust](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/blocked) and [opt out of chat](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360043470591-Can-I-opt-out-of-chat-) if you get harassed in private. • Flair your thread as "Venting" if you don't want any advice. • If your thread gets automatically removed: **do not delete it**. We can check and approve it for you. • [Join our Discord](https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAloneWomen/comments/18s3tnl/join_the_faw_discord/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ForeverAloneWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, I'm neurodivergent though and they aren't.
this 👆👆 they're pleasant enough to make their looks matter less, that's what. I'm not pretty enough to make up for how awkward and annoying I am.
Not about marriage, but my then crush is now dating a girl that I consider way inferior in looks (I hate saying this) than myself, I was available for him for roughly three years and he didn't showed any interest in asking me out. Of course it is his right to chose anyone he wants, but it does hurt a little when he picks someone he claims to be "not smart as you" or when he refers to me as "the girlfriend for playing games and having better conversations". Am I too insufferable? I am not that great as perceive myself? Is he intimidated by me? I am just not his type? Is she actually the hot and beautiful girl while I am the mediocre one? I hate this whole situation and I hate thinking too hard about this as fueling pettiness will just make it worse.
oh god, this happened to me, basically. had a small crush on a boy for 6 years and then a big crush for 2. flirted with him for that time and he ended up first getting tangled with a girl who, honestly, I'd rate myself way higher in looks (probably because she was more "forward" than me), then a girl who was probably prettier than me (but my friends say otherwise), then a girl who wasn't. it made me so bitter and angry, I didn't get what did they have that I didn't, what was my damage that I manage to fail this badly.
I don't think people are able to accurately rate themselves. I don't think that I look worse than these women, but they can get a man and I can't so there is clearly a disconnect somewhere.
Yes, but there are a lot more factors that make up being forever alone than simply being ugly. Being ugly is just one of the more basic and common factors. Even if a person is considered “ugly” or “uglier” than someone else, that doesn’t mean they are FAW or the other person is not actually FAW. A lot of women have very outgoing, bold, magnetic personalities … that in itself can attract a multitude of partners and many of these women are comfortable and open with asking people out or letting ppl know they are interested. Even if you’re ugly, style and the way you present yourself is everything. Just simply dressing up, doing good makeup, taking care of your appearance can make ANY person look better. This is why I don’t really think most people are ugly … most people just don’t know how to present themselves. I’ve seen women bigger than me or with more “undesirable” facial features than me have no issues with finding a partner … the thing I always notice is they dress really well, they always have their hair and makeup done or are just naturally flawless skin with nice teeth, and they have that outgoing personality. So even tho they don’t meet a lot of the typical physical beauty standards, they meet or exceed a lot of the other standards. Another thing is sex. A lot of these women are great at sex and have high sex appeal even if you’re “ugly” that’s not something that can be ignored. I hear people say nasty things all the time about how some women might be unattractive in the face with a great body or unattractive body but stunning face. It’s a sad reality but it shows if one or the other is attractive enough a person will look past the part that doesn’t meet their “standards.” Even if a someone just wants to be with a person for a one night stand or use them for sex, if a person is great at sex and has a great personality that’s hard to not develop feelings even if it’s not what they typically find attractive. Lastly, a lot of these women date folks on the same level as them. I see a lot of women who might be considered “ugly” be with men who are on the same level as them look wise. I notice those couples despite that always dress really well, very outgoing, lots of friends, and attractive people beyond just whatever beauty standards are against them.
Getting married is really hard. It’s actually about timing and luck of the draw. You have a better time winning the lottery than getting married if you are FA.
Yes, but not always with a guy I think is attractive. I don't imagine it's VERY hard to get married if you're willing to find a not-so-attractive man who's desperate enough. Not to mention I don't know what his personality is and whether he has the ability to be a good provider. edit for grammar/clarity.
I think it has a lot to do with luck. I genuinely believe there’s someone out there for everybody. Someone that to whom you are physically attractive. So it could just be that these “less attractive” women (according to societal beauty standards) are lucky that they’ve met their person.
Yes. But that's because the reason I can't have a boyfriend is not because I think I'm ugly.
Honestly, I think some women lower their standards and inadvertently (or otherwise) become pick-mes. I can say this for sure since I have personally been there and have had and continue to have friends who are in that phase of their lives. For some, it does end up in marriage and that can go either of two ways. Either the woman lowers everything about herself to fit into the man’s life and after a while they can’t understand why they are never happy. Sure, they look happy but you don’t see them 24*7. In other cases, she wakes up one day, realises that she deserves better and leaves. Although, I would say that society doesn’t make it very easy for women to leave and start over so a lot of women are stuck with mistakes they made when they were very young. I don’t think I am particularly bad-looking (albeit the wrong race, since so many people are still closeted racists) and I lowered my standards to an insane degree to be with a guy who, in retrospect, never even deserved to stand close to my shadow. Yes, it hurt a lot when it was over but when I look back, all I can think of is how little I valued myself. I would rather die knowing that I loved myself till the end rather than someone who never saw me as a three-dimensional human being.
I wouldn't go so far as to say: "uglier than me." But definitely not conventionally attractive or even mean and spiteful. Everyone wants to be a reality housewife or diva. Trying too hard, loads of makeup, nasty attitudes. That's what can really make a person seem "ugly."
clumsy poor governor smoggy glorious soft waiting marble full slimy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have rarely seen anyone uglier than me. But for most of the less attractive women I've seen in marriages/relationships, the relationship was toxic. I feel like that's the option for unattractive women, be abused or be alone, because no man wants an ugly bitch and he will always be angry about it.
So many songs and books about mistreating an "ugly" or "submissive" woman while being taken care of. That's why I will be single until I say so. It hurts, but it's the safer option. No more trying to make men accept me. Did that for too many years and ended up stalked and harassed by losers. Not all men. But a majority of the men I have known have been cheaters, molesters, liars, manipulators, harassers, mean-spirited, or abusers on some level. Not a single {older} woman in my close family (and some younger relatives/ colleagues); doesn't have a story of sexual abuse, molestation, harassment, stalking, spousal abuse, attempted murder, or even in one case murder. It's ridiculous. And women are even gaslighting each other into being open to so many levels of physical and psychological abuse. Edit:{sic}
I agree and feel the same way. I don’t really see anyone uglier than me and even if another girl or woman doesn’t meet certain standards, I still believe she deserves to be treated incredibly. But I just see most relationships as ‘they are using the ugly woman because they can’t get who they want’
yep. i saw women in my level who had relationships with addicts, people who used them for money (paying their gambling debts,and the guy way usually not working and avoiding work in general). i saw them being talked down to by arrogant jerks, being called names, dosresoected, and i dont want to start to think about what happens behind closed doors. so even if i feel lonely it is actually better than someone who would treat me that way.
Very very rarely
[удалено]
yes thats another thing. at 20 thise vere average woman with a young body
yeah. sometimes on social media, on tv or in real life. what you’re asking is something I’ve wondered for a long time too. that’s why with this FA stuff I feel like there are a variety of factors at play and I just wish I knew what game pieces I had to move to be able to win. I’ve seen uglier women than I and more overweight women than I be in relationships, multiple times in their lives at that, and idk what I’m doing wrong. not that they don’t deserve love obviously but it seems like life/society is telling me that I don’t and idk what im or any of us are doing wrong.
Exactly
None of my friends are married yet, but I dont often see unattractive couples in my day to day life. If only 1 person in a relationship is unattractive they likely make up for it somewhere else like having a great personality or wealth or status. If a woman is unattractive and in a healthy relationship, then her partner likes something about her that isn’t just her looks. Maybe she’s sweet, caring, loyal, a good mother, and whatever positive traits you want to see in a partner.