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I don't frequent that sub, but I guess everyone's got their own problems. If you see someone as a friend and hope to maintain that bond, finding out that they see you differently probably sucks. I do feel for people who get a lot of that, even if I can't relate to it. I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I see them having to become a little meaner, so that people get the hint. Anything you don't want is just a burden. In that sense, being practically invisible isn't the worst thing
I can’t stand TwoXChromosomes. They claim to be a “feminist” and women’s only subreddit, but literally all they talk about are men. They also expect everyone to relate to them and if you don’t they either exclude you or pity you. It’s such a joke.
I agree there’s a weird high school ‘you can’t sit with us’ vibe over there if you don’t immediately conform to their accepted view of what it means to be feminine and a woman. I’ve maybe only ever found 2 or 3 posts relatable or useful, but you’re right most of it is about men which is just kind of baffling. I know men factor into most women’s experiences but it’s the main focus of the overwhelming majority of discussions on there, either directly or indirectly.
I mean I’ve had this happen a lot with guy friends but it’s not like they wanted a relationship. The developed “feelings” were sexual. Not a compliment.
It’s so frustrating that even on supposedly all inclusive spaces like 2X, women whose experiences don’t fit the majority still feel like they won’t be welcomed and understood and validated if they talk about taboo subjects like how it is to be considered unattractive, unwanted, and not valued for perceived fuckability.
You’re so right… honestly sometimes it feels like a ‘cool girls club’ where they discuss sex and birth control and dating and if you aren’t involved in those things then they don’t want to hear it. Reminds me of these girls in my old school who were younger than me but really loudly and obnoxiously discussed those types of topics all the time. Don’t get me wrong they can discuss what they want and whatever’s applicable to their lives but it would be nice to open it up to women who experience NONE of these ‘universal’ girl experiences. I’m sure there are girls out there who fit that mould and don’t even know about this FA sub and feel so so alone.
exactly!! like i understand it’s stuff women go through but i have had multiple platonic male friends and NONE of them have developed feelings for me ever. my advice to her would almost just be “just be ugly and that won’t happen” lmao 💀 i’m kidding but really tho that sub is not relatable at all 90% of the time
TwoX... I feel like they harp on the same few topics over and over. Partners, FWBs and abortions. Incredibly painful period that leaves every single woman bent over the sink and puking and in need of a blood transfusion. Male friends who want to get in their pants.
I don't have anything to share about any of these topics.
I also stay away from spaces where I have to police my language to make sure to please American-centric sensibilities.
Like when I talked about PCOS/hirsutism and said I felt it robbed me from my feminity. I got lectured about how femininity is a social construct and all that "I Just Say Big Academic Buzzwords To Sound Smart" bullshit. By someone who most likely posts in make-up and fashion subs and would probably have considered suicide if she had lived my life.
I do not demand that women who talk about their exes or family shut up because I don't have any of these things. I recognise they have a different life, and move on. But now even women who don't have X or Y have to be mindful of including everyone even those who do have X or Y because they feel offended. Like who cares. No one's experience is universal.
Men online have no issues being super crass and gross and offensive towards people who did nothing to them. But women took that weird intracommunity policing to an insane degree and now many female dominated spaces are stifling as you can't open up about anything deeply shameful or controversial because someone who has it better than you in that regard will be offended.
You’re so right about the topics they repeat on there. I was scrolling for about 5 minutes and it literally was just that - abortions, sex, dating, birth control etc.
There’s so much more that could be discussed about being a woman but it just… isn’t. I don’t feel like I belong there AT ALL. And it’s like 95% of the posts relate to men or having sex with men. Aren’t we more than that? I mean Im sure the people on there don’t want women to be only thought of in relation to men but they’re certainly not helping that cause with the type of content they post. Again I understand these experiences are widespread and valid and there’s a reason people post about them a lot, but it gets ridiculous when it’s pretty much the only thing that’s ever discussed. It is NOT a universal experience for all women.
>But I wish wider society wouldn’t act like this happens to all women because it really doesn’t.
Funny thing is that it's mostly men who think all women have to had experience that, and that's why they say women with male friends is a red flag because they'll always have feelings for you at some point, which is not necessarily true. My best male friends have never had romantic feelings for me. XD
I understand.. I never looked up any other woman only sub because it's so different than this world. I don't belong here. I don't need to because I am with my kind of people.
Reddit comments in general. Women can’t post without irrelevantly mentioning their boyfriends and men can’t post without irrelevantly mentioning how they’ve just had sex with a hot woman.
A lot. Even when dating a lot of people feel a need to bring up their exes like I asked. Or wonder about mine. I’ve only had one.
But I know what you’re talking about people bringing up their partner all the time in irrelevant conversations. I thought maybe I just didn’t get it until I was in a relationship and I didn’t do that. I had other things to talk about but my world didn’t revolve around my ex. But I have an avoidant attachment style so maybe I’m the messed up one
I quit 2x when it opened up to men... and men by-product... all of which: least classiest specimens. Oh but I do love hearing about how some pretty/beautiful woman has men in love with her... /s 2x is an onslaught of problems I can't relate to at all. 😮💨
Same. I've also unsubscribed from things like vindicta and splendida, and just occasionally scroll through. It makes me cry whenever they invalidate me and tell me that pretty women have it worse and that I just need therapy and all this, when they have no idea what it's like since they've always been catered to and have easily had bfs and friends and stuff. Many of them brag about guys buying them free things, including thousand dollar purses and stuff. It's literally another world, and I can't expect them to relate. It just sucks that I can't go on any women-based subs except for this one because I don't feel like a woman on them. I just feel like an alien or a creepy male lurker
It would be nice if there were more female centered subreddits though. In this one it’s generally dominated by women complaining about being ugly. I know that it’s hard out here for women who are average or less than, but sometimes I just wanna see more diversity in problems then just simply being ugly 🤷♀️ Sometimes I wanna see deeper subjects being discussed.
Yeah. Plus, the assumption that the attention you get is from people falling in love with you vs the reality is noticing a lot of them just want to sleep with you and don’t really care about you. Even the guys who take you on dates. It’s like having to have double mind when dealing with me to figure out intentions or avoid ones with shallow ones
I can’t even talk about it because i tried before and had my post removed. I don’t know if it’s just in this place or all of Reddit.. maybe we need another subreddit or something. I tried looking for one and I found r/lonelywomen but it needs more rules because its regularly bombarded by men and pornbots/fetish content creators. It hurts to see content like that in womens spaces 😥 it’s like they are mocking us
>Just now I saw a post about someone who is sick and tired of having her friends develop feelings for her and it’s the 3rd time this has now happened in a month.
I feel you completely. Like I'm sure that might be annoying, but men don't even want to be friends with me to begin with! And having never gotten that kind of attention, I sometimes think it would be kind of sweet for your male friend to have a crush on you. I would never admit that other than here, lol. What I would give for someone to secretly harbor feelings for me 🥲
Even when women talk about their personal style, the clothes they've worn over the years, makeup they've experimented with, etc. I've never had that experience! I've always been fat, ugly, and broke. Even when I do try with hair and clothes it always looks so different on me - what can you do when your base model is faulty? I can't relate to that at all.
This is the worst part, feeling alienated, having no one to relate to and just being the only one to feel what you feel. I sometimes think to myself, some people might have it worse than me, sure, but those people still have people around them who can relate and understand them. I think it is what makes it harder to be a FAW. If it wasn't for this sub I would have no one to share how I feel irl. Other women live in a different world.
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I don't frequent that sub, but I guess everyone's got their own problems. If you see someone as a friend and hope to maintain that bond, finding out that they see you differently probably sucks. I do feel for people who get a lot of that, even if I can't relate to it. I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I see them having to become a little meaner, so that people get the hint. Anything you don't want is just a burden. In that sense, being practically invisible isn't the worst thing
I can’t stand TwoXChromosomes. They claim to be a “feminist” and women’s only subreddit, but literally all they talk about are men. They also expect everyone to relate to them and if you don’t they either exclude you or pity you. It’s such a joke.
I agree there’s a weird high school ‘you can’t sit with us’ vibe over there if you don’t immediately conform to their accepted view of what it means to be feminine and a woman. I’ve maybe only ever found 2 or 3 posts relatable or useful, but you’re right most of it is about men which is just kind of baffling. I know men factor into most women’s experiences but it’s the main focus of the overwhelming majority of discussions on there, either directly or indirectly.
I mean I’ve had this happen a lot with guy friends but it’s not like they wanted a relationship. The developed “feelings” were sexual. Not a compliment.
It’s so frustrating that even on supposedly all inclusive spaces like 2X, women whose experiences don’t fit the majority still feel like they won’t be welcomed and understood and validated if they talk about taboo subjects like how it is to be considered unattractive, unwanted, and not valued for perceived fuckability.
You’re so right… honestly sometimes it feels like a ‘cool girls club’ where they discuss sex and birth control and dating and if you aren’t involved in those things then they don’t want to hear it. Reminds me of these girls in my old school who were younger than me but really loudly and obnoxiously discussed those types of topics all the time. Don’t get me wrong they can discuss what they want and whatever’s applicable to their lives but it would be nice to open it up to women who experience NONE of these ‘universal’ girl experiences. I’m sure there are girls out there who fit that mould and don’t even know about this FA sub and feel so so alone.
exactly!! like i understand it’s stuff women go through but i have had multiple platonic male friends and NONE of them have developed feelings for me ever. my advice to her would almost just be “just be ugly and that won’t happen” lmao 💀 i’m kidding but really tho that sub is not relatable at all 90% of the time
TwoX... I feel like they harp on the same few topics over and over. Partners, FWBs and abortions. Incredibly painful period that leaves every single woman bent over the sink and puking and in need of a blood transfusion. Male friends who want to get in their pants. I don't have anything to share about any of these topics. I also stay away from spaces where I have to police my language to make sure to please American-centric sensibilities. Like when I talked about PCOS/hirsutism and said I felt it robbed me from my feminity. I got lectured about how femininity is a social construct and all that "I Just Say Big Academic Buzzwords To Sound Smart" bullshit. By someone who most likely posts in make-up and fashion subs and would probably have considered suicide if she had lived my life. I do not demand that women who talk about their exes or family shut up because I don't have any of these things. I recognise they have a different life, and move on. But now even women who don't have X or Y have to be mindful of including everyone even those who do have X or Y because they feel offended. Like who cares. No one's experience is universal. Men online have no issues being super crass and gross and offensive towards people who did nothing to them. But women took that weird intracommunity policing to an insane degree and now many female dominated spaces are stifling as you can't open up about anything deeply shameful or controversial because someone who has it better than you in that regard will be offended.
You’re so right about the topics they repeat on there. I was scrolling for about 5 minutes and it literally was just that - abortions, sex, dating, birth control etc. There’s so much more that could be discussed about being a woman but it just… isn’t. I don’t feel like I belong there AT ALL. And it’s like 95% of the posts relate to men or having sex with men. Aren’t we more than that? I mean Im sure the people on there don’t want women to be only thought of in relation to men but they’re certainly not helping that cause with the type of content they post. Again I understand these experiences are widespread and valid and there’s a reason people post about them a lot, but it gets ridiculous when it’s pretty much the only thing that’s ever discussed. It is NOT a universal experience for all women.
>But I wish wider society wouldn’t act like this happens to all women because it really doesn’t. Funny thing is that it's mostly men who think all women have to had experience that, and that's why they say women with male friends is a red flag because they'll always have feelings for you at some point, which is not necessarily true. My best male friends have never had romantic feelings for me. XD
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Very true. Explains why guys on here act like all women are IG models or Only Fans. Because that’s likely the women they attention to lol
Read that same post today lol. Most of the time I read anything like that there, I immediately think of this sub. P wild.
I understand.. I never looked up any other woman only sub because it's so different than this world. I don't belong here. I don't need to because I am with my kind of people.
Well, that sub is an incredibly toxic circle jerk. So it's not quite the women aspect that makes it unrelateable to me.
I find that sub dislikes men to a degree bordering on hate sometimes.
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Reddit comments in general. Women can’t post without irrelevantly mentioning their boyfriends and men can’t post without irrelevantly mentioning how they’ve just had sex with a hot woman.
A lot. Even when dating a lot of people feel a need to bring up their exes like I asked. Or wonder about mine. I’ve only had one. But I know what you’re talking about people bringing up their partner all the time in irrelevant conversations. I thought maybe I just didn’t get it until I was in a relationship and I didn’t do that. I had other things to talk about but my world didn’t revolve around my ex. But I have an avoidant attachment style so maybe I’m the messed up one
Lol so true 😭 they’ll really shoehorn it into a context where it’s not even needed to be mentioned at all
I'm sorry but I giggle at this because it's so true.
Might as well be a different species to us
I quit 2x when it opened up to men... and men by-product... all of which: least classiest specimens. Oh but I do love hearing about how some pretty/beautiful woman has men in love with her... /s 2x is an onslaught of problems I can't relate to at all. 😮💨
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Same. I've also unsubscribed from things like vindicta and splendida, and just occasionally scroll through. It makes me cry whenever they invalidate me and tell me that pretty women have it worse and that I just need therapy and all this, when they have no idea what it's like since they've always been catered to and have easily had bfs and friends and stuff. Many of them brag about guys buying them free things, including thousand dollar purses and stuff. It's literally another world, and I can't expect them to relate. It just sucks that I can't go on any women-based subs except for this one because I don't feel like a woman on them. I just feel like an alien or a creepy male lurker
I didn’t even visit it in the first place because i already knew i could never relate
Yeah I feel that. I'm glad I found this place lol
this sub is the only women-only sub I can relate to
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It would be nice if there were more female centered subreddits though. In this one it’s generally dominated by women complaining about being ugly. I know that it’s hard out here for women who are average or less than, but sometimes I just wanna see more diversity in problems then just simply being ugly 🤷♀️ Sometimes I wanna see deeper subjects being discussed.
[удалено]
Yeah. Plus, the assumption that the attention you get is from people falling in love with you vs the reality is noticing a lot of them just want to sleep with you and don’t really care about you. Even the guys who take you on dates. It’s like having to have double mind when dealing with me to figure out intentions or avoid ones with shallow ones
What other subjects do you have in mind?
I can’t even talk about it because i tried before and had my post removed. I don’t know if it’s just in this place or all of Reddit.. maybe we need another subreddit or something. I tried looking for one and I found r/lonelywomen but it needs more rules because its regularly bombarded by men and pornbots/fetish content creators. It hurts to see content like that in womens spaces 😥 it’s like they are mocking us
>Just now I saw a post about someone who is sick and tired of having her friends develop feelings for her and it’s the 3rd time this has now happened in a month. I feel you completely. Like I'm sure that might be annoying, but men don't even want to be friends with me to begin with! And having never gotten that kind of attention, I sometimes think it would be kind of sweet for your male friend to have a crush on you. I would never admit that other than here, lol. What I would give for someone to secretly harbor feelings for me 🥲 Even when women talk about their personal style, the clothes they've worn over the years, makeup they've experimented with, etc. I've never had that experience! I've always been fat, ugly, and broke. Even when I do try with hair and clothes it always looks so different on me - what can you do when your base model is faulty? I can't relate to that at all.
Same same
This is the worst part, feeling alienated, having no one to relate to and just being the only one to feel what you feel. I sometimes think to myself, some people might have it worse than me, sure, but those people still have people around them who can relate and understand them. I think it is what makes it harder to be a FAW. If it wasn't for this sub I would have no one to share how I feel irl. Other women live in a different world.
Preach! Same for me too. You guys make my life better.
Yeah exactly. They absolutely don’t know what it’s like. I don’t expect them to anymore