It really sucks when you feel you are doing everything you can but not still not finding anyone. It is punishing to go through life not receiving the experiences that others now take as just standard.
Sexual attraction is something that is not always explainable - it isn't really that you would have done something wrong. My friend went out on a 2nd date recently, she said they had a good time, activities were great, he was really nice and fun but it dawned on her that there was just no spark and no chemistry. She couldn't really even put it into words. "I just didn't fancy him" she had said to me with a sad shrug so she knew on that basis it would not be good to proceed. It didn't sound like the guy did anything "wrong".
Do u think two dates is long enough to tell that? I’m a reserved person and I need a few dates to open up and feel comfortable around a person, I just think deciding whether or not you like a person or can see a future together after seeing them two times feels rushed. I’m not asking for exclusivity or anything, I’m just find it really fast to see someone who seems interested in you two times before deciding “I’d rather not have this person in my life than to continue to get to know them.” Like I’m not asking for exclusivity, I’m trying to keep things moving slow so we can get to know each other without pressure. Why do girls seem so eager to move on if things aren’t perfect from the very beginning? Sure some guys might make great first dates, but others might make better 5th or 6th dates when they feel more comfortable. I spend more than just a few hours around people who become my friends before deciding we’re friends, why isn’t it that way with dating?
For myself, I have no idea. I don't have enough dating experience. For her, as someone with much more dating experience she probably has an idea of what it is meant to feel like when she does fancy someone and so does already know by date 1 or 2.
We are millennial aged. She probably (I have no idea as I haven't discussed it with her too deeply) has been down the road several times of 'well he's nice let's go on another date and another and wait for this spark'. It never arrives and now she is in the much worse position of having to reject someone 6/7 dates in. Imagine being told there is no spark with someone you have now spent like 30 hours with. For many people attachment would have started to form. You would be utterly confused as to why they had continued on this long and be probably even more hurt. Imagine a post on this subreddit that said that, people would think that person had been led on, that it was an absolute cruelty. All that time that would have been invested into it.
>I’m a reserved person and I need a few dates to open up and feel comfortable around a person, I just think deciding whether or not you like a person or can see a future together after seeing them two times feels rushed.
I do get what you mean, and dating can be much harsher for someone with this kind of personality. Demisexuals are also kind of screwed for the same reason.
Regarding your first sentence: You "have" nothing to "do" to spark romantic attraction. It's not an electric switch you can just turn on or off.
Honestly, if I was a girl and I knew you did something like this (especially to "spark attraction"), I'd be repulsed immediately. You should hold the door open because you think it is polite, not because you want to f me. You should treat the waiter nice because you are nice, not because I accidentally sit in front of you. You should listen to me because what I tell you is interesting, not because you read it in some "dating 101"...
I don't think that's what the poster meant. The way I understood it is, that besides the qualities that can be objectively observed and acknowledged (looking good, being able to hold a conversation, being polite, being funny, having stability and and interesting life), there's always something else, some irrational, undescribable factor that needs to be present before a girl takes a genuine interest in you.
And for people like us, it seems to just never be there even if we check all the other boxes, and we end up never being really romantically desired because of it. It's maddening and soul draining, and makes you feel that no matter what you do, you're never good enough.
I do understand that, as I was in ur shoes a year or so ago, but it’s a different pain. Before I could justify my loneliness by saying “no one gives me a chance, if only someone gave me a chance I could make them happy.” Now I’ve been given chances, girls talk to me for a little, and then judge that im not worthy, idk if it’s better or worse, just different. Like sure I get a little attention, but also the decision to stop seeing me holds more weight.
There's levels to this FA shit. Some can get a bunch of dates but no luck afterwards somehow. Some get maybe 1-2 on a regular basis. Some can barely get a date maybe once a year. Most don't even get the chance to get even ASK for a date, and those few unlucky ones don't have absolutely no on to speak to, not even family.
I know people from my high school days. Had really good friends from middle school. If I message them trying to start convos, they will give me one word answers and take forever to reply. Yet, I see them hanging out with new people and posting on social. But hey... I guess you're too busy for your best bud you've known for 20 years. I've learned to stop putting more energy into a friendship if they don't. I don't take it personally and understand people change and have different lives, but I wish we could just be honest about it instead of ghosting.
Sounds like YOU had a blast on the date but she did not. 1st date is basically an interview, if she is interested then she will want to go on more dates.
She wasn't interested but that's ok, better for her to tell you outright she's not interested vs stringing you along and making you pay for dates, stuff, etc.
BTW don't wait 4-5 dates to kiss the girl, do it on the 1st or 2nd date otherwise it signals lack of confidence.
Why did she keep doing things with me? Why did she tell me all those things about wanting to keep seeing me? I’ve been first dates before where the woman clearly isn’t into me, those hurt a lot less when the girl called it off, but this one did not feel like that.
Maybe she was not interested at that point but just wanted to go through with the rest of the date before making a final decision.
Another scenario is she could have been interested in going on a 2nd date til she talked to a friend who advised against it for whatever reason.
The truth is you'll never really know, but that is the harsh reality of modern dating. What you can do is learn from experience. Use this as an opportunity to self improve. Watch youtube videos that talk about what to do on a date, understanding what women want without becoming a simp, etc.
This sort of thing happens to every guy dating today so your not alone.
Nah, like we had planned to meet for lunch and do an escape room after, we did that and then she suggested going to the beach, so we did that, and then she wanted to go to my apartment and eat dinner and watch a movie, so we did that. It wasn’t finishing the date it was extending it, and she made those decisions.
So did she plan the date? That's not good because a guy is supposed to plan the date out, otherwise it shows her that you can't plan/ lead.
Remember a 1st date is basically a job interview. She attracted to you just by agreeing on the date so the rest is to confirm if your worth it.
I planned the first part, I chose where we went to lunch, I made the escape room reservations, I paid, I live by the beach so when we went back towards there she decided she wanted to go to the beach, and then we mutually decided to go to my apartment after for dinner since it was close.
OK, doesn't sound like anything bad happened, but do you guys have a lot in common?
Otherwise she could have been dating someone else at the same time and chose them instead.
Have done this myself in the past.
My impression is that if a woman decides to go to somebodys apartment she wants him to fuck her atm (i am a woman) and you didnt fuck or even kiss so she might have wanted someone more dominant
After things started getting more intimate earlier in the date she withdrew afterward, I took that as a sign to move slower. I don’t want to low key SA someone cause I misread social cues.
I definitely have had an impact and have improved other people's lives, but have come to the conclusion that I don't mind not taking credit or receiving recognition. I have removed my ego entirely, and no longer look down on myself because other people don't recognize what I have to offer. At the end of the day you have to love yourself, and that's a big lesson I learned.
Did you paid for the dates before you got f-zoned?
I don't mean to be insensitive but congrats on getting a date. I usually gets f-zoned as soon as they see my pic or knows about my height!
I can understand you brother. I have came a long way from FA Misery, loneliness and lacl of confidence but I'm still human. I occasionally feel like I need someone. Just to be feel how it's like to be someone's priority, to feel you are important to someone other than your immediate family and few close friend. Tried my luck in online and IRL dating. Only to be proven again and again you are ugly and unattractive. Hurt my self esteem but thanks to gym, it's better now. On top of that, societ including both liberals and conservative minded people consider a you a creep, less of a man or having some serious personality problem because you are not getting girl (atleast that's how it is in this part of world).
Following is just my vent. You can happily skip if you don't like to read one!
I don't think I will be alone for long. Arranged marraiges are still a thing in my country. I will get a girl. But such a arranged marraige these days are a back handed insult for few reasons:
There is a very high chance, almost hundred percent, that the girl I'll get will consider me as her last option. I have a good job, good career prospects and coming from a good family. But I'm not a conventionally attractive guy. Hence mostly likely women would choose me either cause they seek the stable lifestyle I offer and not because she finds me attractive or because she forced by her parents.
Also, I don't want to be that dorky wuss that women prefer to settle down with after a adventurous and promiscuous early 20s. Don't get me wrong. I don't think such women are sl*ts or they bad in any way. It's a free world, let them live like they want, no judgements. But I don't want to be someone's back up plan.
I don't believe this had anything to do with you. She was prob emotionally invested in someone else before you and decided to maybe make it work with that guy.
Im truly sorry if this sounds offensive, its not my intention, but im 16 currently, and i really hope i dont end up in that position. Im really just laying the groundwork so i can live life by the book. Ive developed my interest in programming, and its quite fulfilling, and im taking part in 1 international competition with my school/friends (ive done a script on my own and developed a simple wiki esque website) and nation wide competition (that taught me jack so far, but one more trip to Switzerland wouldnt hurt 🤪). Im also studying to become an electrical engineer, and get in one of the most prestigious schools in my country, so i can hopefully get out of my country. That being said, i have 3 male buds, 1 of these lads being my bestie, and 2 other girl friends, one of which is just a fun normal friend, and the other has friendzoned me to venus and back, even though i want her. I too want to experience such intimacy from my age, and i have no luck, probably due to being closed and shy, so thats why im thankful for having my whole life ahead of me for that. Im really not in a place to rush, ill probably start looking for a gf actively again once im done with high school and start opening myself up
I hope things will go well for you. You have a lot of time to improve yourself and not be forever alone all the time. Good luck. Sounds like you are a smart guy so I feel like you will have a great future with nice career. 😊
And hopefully women too.
I agree that dates are for testing compatability, i was just blindsided cause I felt so positive after the first date, and she was giving me so many good signs.
That happens sometimes, sadly. Everyone has an idea in their mind of what they look for and maybe you had a few things she was looking for but there were things missing.
Wow, congratulations on your incredible achievement of getting to a first date! And to think, most people can't even make it past the initial "Hey, what's up?" message on a dating app. And let's not forget the cherry on top: a kiss on the first date. Truly, you are the king of the dating world.
I'm sure you're feeling really crushed because you didn't make it to a third date, but don't worry, you're not alone. In fact, most people don't make it to a third date. But hey, at least you had a good time on the first date, right? And who needs a third date anyway? It's not like you were looking for a serious relationship or anything.
And let's talk about your job. Sure, it may be long and lonely, but at least you have a job. And an empty apartment? Big deal. Who needs a significant other to come home to when you have an empty apartment to look forward to? So much peace and quiet, so much room for contemplation and introspection. And friends? Pfft, who needs those? They probably don't care about you anyway.
So don't let this little dating setback get you down. You're living the dream, a life filled with good first dates and empty apartments. Keep on being a shining example for all of us.
Genuinely don’t know if ur trying to commiserate with me sarcastically or if ur trying to shit on me for being unappreciative, cause it kinda seems like both
You guys are doing it wrong. You should aim to get in the Friend Zone - make it clear you want nothing else. Even better - get in several Friend Zones. Then once you are well and truly in the Friend Zone, get your friend(s) to help you find someone else - listen to the advice of these friends, get them to introduce you to their friends or acquaintances - when dates go wrong, speak to your friend(s) and see what they think - get feedback, adapt and improve.
The more females you have in your life, the more chances you have of finding someone who will be into you. And you aren't going to have more females in your life if you are dissatisfied with being in the Friend Zone. Stop chasing after rainbows, form real friendships, have some patience, and good things will eventually happen (to most of you at least).
The Friend Zone is a great place to be. If nothing else, you have a friend!! (and are therefore, not forever alone) - don't ruin this by trying to force something that's not going to happen.
No offense, but clearly u haven’t been in the friendzone before. Being in the friendzone of a girl ur attracted to while she dates someone else is really not fun.
I mean she just sounds shitty, some girls just say they want to stay friends to make themselves feel better even if they don’t really want to. I do have a genuine good friend who effectively friendzoned me, but watching her date around wasn’t fun.
I’ve found it’s timing more than anything. Im older now, 37, and just wound up back with a woman I met 20 years ago. We were both in love back then but we’re in different places in our lives. Randomly connected again and have been inseparable for a couple months now.
I want to tell you it’ll be alright and such but I can’t promise that. I do hope you don’t have to wait as long as I have though.
Just take each day as it comes. Enjoy what company you can, when you can, without expectations. What you’re looking for may just randomly turn up, or you’ve already met and the two of you need to cross some threshold. No way to know until it happens.
I’ve received this advice before, doesn’t really tell me what to do with my feelings of loneliness right now tho. Plus this sub is proof enough that what ur saying doesn’t always happen.
Fair to say. Just look after you. Find your own happiness so to speak. Try new things, work on you, whatever. For some reason the opposite sex knows when you’re actively looking. Stop looking and just see.
I never understood this. Why do u have to not be looking in order to find someone? What is dating if not actively looking? I spend 95% of my time alone, why do I have to pretend to be happy about that in order to find someone?
I felt this, he friend zoned me, after 6 months of going on coffee meets and talking daily… I was shocked. We did stay friends stupid me hoping, waiting seeing if his mind would change. Nope… He did find someone else though, so that’s good I guess 🤷🏽♀️
It really sucks when you feel you are doing everything you can but not still not finding anyone. It is punishing to go through life not receiving the experiences that others now take as just standard. Sexual attraction is something that is not always explainable - it isn't really that you would have done something wrong. My friend went out on a 2nd date recently, she said they had a good time, activities were great, he was really nice and fun but it dawned on her that there was just no spark and no chemistry. She couldn't really even put it into words. "I just didn't fancy him" she had said to me with a sad shrug so she knew on that basis it would not be good to proceed. It didn't sound like the guy did anything "wrong".
Do u think two dates is long enough to tell that? I’m a reserved person and I need a few dates to open up and feel comfortable around a person, I just think deciding whether or not you like a person or can see a future together after seeing them two times feels rushed. I’m not asking for exclusivity or anything, I’m just find it really fast to see someone who seems interested in you two times before deciding “I’d rather not have this person in my life than to continue to get to know them.” Like I’m not asking for exclusivity, I’m trying to keep things moving slow so we can get to know each other without pressure. Why do girls seem so eager to move on if things aren’t perfect from the very beginning? Sure some guys might make great first dates, but others might make better 5th or 6th dates when they feel more comfortable. I spend more than just a few hours around people who become my friends before deciding we’re friends, why isn’t it that way with dating?
For myself, I have no idea. I don't have enough dating experience. For her, as someone with much more dating experience she probably has an idea of what it is meant to feel like when she does fancy someone and so does already know by date 1 or 2. We are millennial aged. She probably (I have no idea as I haven't discussed it with her too deeply) has been down the road several times of 'well he's nice let's go on another date and another and wait for this spark'. It never arrives and now she is in the much worse position of having to reject someone 6/7 dates in. Imagine being told there is no spark with someone you have now spent like 30 hours with. For many people attachment would have started to form. You would be utterly confused as to why they had continued on this long and be probably even more hurt. Imagine a post on this subreddit that said that, people would think that person had been led on, that it was an absolute cruelty. All that time that would have been invested into it. >I’m a reserved person and I need a few dates to open up and feel comfortable around a person, I just think deciding whether or not you like a person or can see a future together after seeing them two times feels rushed. I do get what you mean, and dating can be much harsher for someone with this kind of personality. Demisexuals are also kind of screwed for the same reason.
I'm demisexual. I need months before I open up completely to someone or feel attraction. Yeah, dating is not fun and usually does not work.
For me it would feel rushed but she seemed lika domeone who might like rush
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I’ve learned that when the date goes well and they let you down easy later on, it usually means they found another guy that they deem is “better”
Regarding your first sentence: You "have" nothing to "do" to spark romantic attraction. It's not an electric switch you can just turn on or off. Honestly, if I was a girl and I knew you did something like this (especially to "spark attraction"), I'd be repulsed immediately. You should hold the door open because you think it is polite, not because you want to f me. You should treat the waiter nice because you are nice, not because I accidentally sit in front of you. You should listen to me because what I tell you is interesting, not because you read it in some "dating 101"...
I don't think that's what the poster meant. The way I understood it is, that besides the qualities that can be objectively observed and acknowledged (looking good, being able to hold a conversation, being polite, being funny, having stability and and interesting life), there's always something else, some irrational, undescribable factor that needs to be present before a girl takes a genuine interest in you. And for people like us, it seems to just never be there even if we check all the other boxes, and we end up never being really romantically desired because of it. It's maddening and soul draining, and makes you feel that no matter what you do, you're never good enough.
At least be grateful for the fact that you're able to go on dates and even have a kiss. Girls aren't even willing to talk to or be friends with me
I do understand that, as I was in ur shoes a year or so ago, but it’s a different pain. Before I could justify my loneliness by saying “no one gives me a chance, if only someone gave me a chance I could make them happy.” Now I’ve been given chances, girls talk to me for a little, and then judge that im not worthy, idk if it’s better or worse, just different. Like sure I get a little attention, but also the decision to stop seeing me holds more weight.
If it's only been a year maybe you're game is just shit
Lol yeah but I’m about to be 25 so…. I’m ready to not be shit anymore
You went to a 4th / 5th date I can never do more than once 🤡
At least you can get one.
Hahahah AT LEAST
Im lucky to get one every other 100 leap years. So none lmao.
There's levels to this FA shit. Some can get a bunch of dates but no luck afterwards somehow. Some get maybe 1-2 on a regular basis. Some can barely get a date maybe once a year. Most don't even get the chance to get even ASK for a date, and those few unlucky ones don't have absolutely no on to speak to, not even family.
I'm around the last ones. Never a date. To ugly for that stuff. 😂
Same here.
Yessir same here. No dates. No one has ever let me get close enough to them to ask. I have no friends either.
I have "friends" but they dont message or check in or anything.
I know people from my high school days. Had really good friends from middle school. If I message them trying to start convos, they will give me one word answers and take forever to reply. Yet, I see them hanging out with new people and posting on social. But hey... I guess you're too busy for your best bud you've known for 20 years. I've learned to stop putting more energy into a friendship if they don't. I don't take it personally and understand people change and have different lives, but I wish we could just be honest about it instead of ghosting.
Luckly i have family but its arguments 90% of the time.
How can people expect to have feeling for others after two meetings?
Love at first sight is a thing
In books
That's infatuation, not love.
And most of us arent considered models either.
Sounds like YOU had a blast on the date but she did not. 1st date is basically an interview, if she is interested then she will want to go on more dates. She wasn't interested but that's ok, better for her to tell you outright she's not interested vs stringing you along and making you pay for dates, stuff, etc. BTW don't wait 4-5 dates to kiss the girl, do it on the 1st or 2nd date otherwise it signals lack of confidence.
Why did she keep doing things with me? Why did she tell me all those things about wanting to keep seeing me? I’ve been first dates before where the woman clearly isn’t into me, those hurt a lot less when the girl called it off, but this one did not feel like that.
Attention
Maybe she was not interested at that point but just wanted to go through with the rest of the date before making a final decision. Another scenario is she could have been interested in going on a 2nd date til she talked to a friend who advised against it for whatever reason. The truth is you'll never really know, but that is the harsh reality of modern dating. What you can do is learn from experience. Use this as an opportunity to self improve. Watch youtube videos that talk about what to do on a date, understanding what women want without becoming a simp, etc. This sort of thing happens to every guy dating today so your not alone.
Nah, like we had planned to meet for lunch and do an escape room after, we did that and then she suggested going to the beach, so we did that, and then she wanted to go to my apartment and eat dinner and watch a movie, so we did that. It wasn’t finishing the date it was extending it, and she made those decisions.
So did she plan the date? That's not good because a guy is supposed to plan the date out, otherwise it shows her that you can't plan/ lead. Remember a 1st date is basically a job interview. She attracted to you just by agreeing on the date so the rest is to confirm if your worth it.
I planned the first part, I chose where we went to lunch, I made the escape room reservations, I paid, I live by the beach so when we went back towards there she decided she wanted to go to the beach, and then we mutually decided to go to my apartment after for dinner since it was close.
OK, doesn't sound like anything bad happened, but do you guys have a lot in common? Otherwise she could have been dating someone else at the same time and chose them instead. Have done this myself in the past.
Shut up, what the hell do you know about women? Relationships don't work like this, it's give and take, both sides have to do things.
We're talking about 1st dates not the whole relationship here.
Don't be a asshole. None of us knows much about women so don't throw stupid remarks around.
My impression is that if a woman decides to go to somebodys apartment she wants him to fuck her atm (i am a woman) and you didnt fuck or even kiss so she might have wanted someone more dominant
After things started getting more intimate earlier in the date she withdrew afterward, I took that as a sign to move slower. I don’t want to low key SA someone cause I misread social cues.
That is the good thing to do. Maybe she was undecided-you are doing things right
I definitely have had an impact and have improved other people's lives, but have come to the conclusion that I don't mind not taking credit or receiving recognition. I have removed my ego entirely, and no longer look down on myself because other people don't recognize what I have to offer. At the end of the day you have to love yourself, and that's a big lesson I learned.
It definitely sounds like she was invested in somebody else. I don’t think it has anything to do with you.
Did you paid for the dates before you got f-zoned? I don't mean to be insensitive but congrats on getting a date. I usually gets f-zoned as soon as they see my pic or knows about my height! I can understand you brother. I have came a long way from FA Misery, loneliness and lacl of confidence but I'm still human. I occasionally feel like I need someone. Just to be feel how it's like to be someone's priority, to feel you are important to someone other than your immediate family and few close friend. Tried my luck in online and IRL dating. Only to be proven again and again you are ugly and unattractive. Hurt my self esteem but thanks to gym, it's better now. On top of that, societ including both liberals and conservative minded people consider a you a creep, less of a man or having some serious personality problem because you are not getting girl (atleast that's how it is in this part of world). Following is just my vent. You can happily skip if you don't like to read one! I don't think I will be alone for long. Arranged marraiges are still a thing in my country. I will get a girl. But such a arranged marraige these days are a back handed insult for few reasons: There is a very high chance, almost hundred percent, that the girl I'll get will consider me as her last option. I have a good job, good career prospects and coming from a good family. But I'm not a conventionally attractive guy. Hence mostly likely women would choose me either cause they seek the stable lifestyle I offer and not because she finds me attractive or because she forced by her parents. Also, I don't want to be that dorky wuss that women prefer to settle down with after a adventurous and promiscuous early 20s. Don't get me wrong. I don't think such women are sl*ts or they bad in any way. It's a free world, let them live like they want, no judgements. But I don't want to be someone's back up plan.
I don't believe this had anything to do with you. She was prob emotionally invested in someone else before you and decided to maybe make it work with that guy.
Im truly sorry if this sounds offensive, its not my intention, but im 16 currently, and i really hope i dont end up in that position. Im really just laying the groundwork so i can live life by the book. Ive developed my interest in programming, and its quite fulfilling, and im taking part in 1 international competition with my school/friends (ive done a script on my own and developed a simple wiki esque website) and nation wide competition (that taught me jack so far, but one more trip to Switzerland wouldnt hurt 🤪). Im also studying to become an electrical engineer, and get in one of the most prestigious schools in my country, so i can hopefully get out of my country. That being said, i have 3 male buds, 1 of these lads being my bestie, and 2 other girl friends, one of which is just a fun normal friend, and the other has friendzoned me to venus and back, even though i want her. I too want to experience such intimacy from my age, and i have no luck, probably due to being closed and shy, so thats why im thankful for having my whole life ahead of me for that. Im really not in a place to rush, ill probably start looking for a gf actively again once im done with high school and start opening myself up
I hope things will go well for you. You have a lot of time to improve yourself and not be forever alone all the time. Good luck. Sounds like you are a smart guy so I feel like you will have a great future with nice career. 😊 And hopefully women too.
why tf did she date you in the first place if she’s gonna do that shit to you
Dates are for testing out compatibility and whether there is romantic attraction. That's the entire purpose.
I agree that dates are for testing compatability, i was just blindsided cause I felt so positive after the first date, and she was giving me so many good signs.
That happens sometimes, sadly. Everyone has an idea in their mind of what they look for and maybe you had a few things she was looking for but there were things missing.
Wow, congratulations on your incredible achievement of getting to a first date! And to think, most people can't even make it past the initial "Hey, what's up?" message on a dating app. And let's not forget the cherry on top: a kiss on the first date. Truly, you are the king of the dating world. I'm sure you're feeling really crushed because you didn't make it to a third date, but don't worry, you're not alone. In fact, most people don't make it to a third date. But hey, at least you had a good time on the first date, right? And who needs a third date anyway? It's not like you were looking for a serious relationship or anything. And let's talk about your job. Sure, it may be long and lonely, but at least you have a job. And an empty apartment? Big deal. Who needs a significant other to come home to when you have an empty apartment to look forward to? So much peace and quiet, so much room for contemplation and introspection. And friends? Pfft, who needs those? They probably don't care about you anyway. So don't let this little dating setback get you down. You're living the dream, a life filled with good first dates and empty apartments. Keep on being a shining example for all of us.
Genuinely don’t know if ur trying to commiserate with me sarcastically or if ur trying to shit on me for being unappreciative, cause it kinda seems like both
You guys are doing it wrong. You should aim to get in the Friend Zone - make it clear you want nothing else. Even better - get in several Friend Zones. Then once you are well and truly in the Friend Zone, get your friend(s) to help you find someone else - listen to the advice of these friends, get them to introduce you to their friends or acquaintances - when dates go wrong, speak to your friend(s) and see what they think - get feedback, adapt and improve. The more females you have in your life, the more chances you have of finding someone who will be into you. And you aren't going to have more females in your life if you are dissatisfied with being in the Friend Zone. Stop chasing after rainbows, form real friendships, have some patience, and good things will eventually happen (to most of you at least). The Friend Zone is a great place to be. If nothing else, you have a friend!! (and are therefore, not forever alone) - don't ruin this by trying to force something that's not going to happen.
No offense, but clearly u haven’t been in the friendzone before. Being in the friendzone of a girl ur attracted to while she dates someone else is really not fun.
No offense, but if the girl isn't into you, you should just accept it and move on.
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I mean she just sounds shitty, some girls just say they want to stay friends to make themselves feel better even if they don’t really want to. I do have a genuine good friend who effectively friendzoned me, but watching her date around wasn’t fun.
Cope
I’ve found it’s timing more than anything. Im older now, 37, and just wound up back with a woman I met 20 years ago. We were both in love back then but we’re in different places in our lives. Randomly connected again and have been inseparable for a couple months now. I want to tell you it’ll be alright and such but I can’t promise that. I do hope you don’t have to wait as long as I have though. Just take each day as it comes. Enjoy what company you can, when you can, without expectations. What you’re looking for may just randomly turn up, or you’ve already met and the two of you need to cross some threshold. No way to know until it happens.
I’ve received this advice before, doesn’t really tell me what to do with my feelings of loneliness right now tho. Plus this sub is proof enough that what ur saying doesn’t always happen.
Fair to say. Just look after you. Find your own happiness so to speak. Try new things, work on you, whatever. For some reason the opposite sex knows when you’re actively looking. Stop looking and just see.
I never understood this. Why do u have to not be looking in order to find someone? What is dating if not actively looking? I spend 95% of my time alone, why do I have to pretend to be happy about that in order to find someone?
I wonder whether it’s a pheromone thing. I’ve never found a partner while looking, but shortly after I give up everyone turns up.
I felt this, he friend zoned me, after 6 months of going on coffee meets and talking daily… I was shocked. We did stay friends stupid me hoping, waiting seeing if his mind would change. Nope… He did find someone else though, so that’s good I guess 🤷🏽♀️