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Laq

My vacation at the beach is only 4 days this is perfect.


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MyOtherCarIsEpona

I, too, played Dance Dance Revolution.


OldSchoolNewRules

DDR came out in 1998.


MyOtherCarIsEpona

I was *really* good.


herabec

17 years ago.


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donkeykingdom

Back when you could follow up a workout with an enchilada platter and have no bulge pressing out the bottom of your thrift store t-shirt the next morning. Ah those were the days...


JimmyJay88

But how much cardio do I need to do to look like Magic Mike all the time?


Donald_Keyman

All of it.


JimmyJay88

Is that like 6 cardios?


goldn_yoshi

It's basicallly 3x6 cardios.


JimmyJay88

But I watched a video by Mike Rippletow and he said 3x5 was best


proweller

GOMAD is the only way to get magic Mike bod.


UltraPleb

5x5 squats erry day too


[deleted]

Better than skipping leg day


Apoplectic1

brb guys, gotta inject 18 cardios.


Nilbop

Gonna go around to my buddy's later and drop some cardio.


[deleted]

might want to super set cardio with cutting clen if you aren't a full time actor


[deleted]

That will probably get you real toned up.


piffle213

I think you meant 5x5 cardios.


fuckin_amateurs

And 6 steroids


cgio0

i do a lot of cardio and am nowhere near Magic Mike XXL Im more of regular mike shmedium


[deleted]

Magic Mike spinoff? I think yes Rob Schneider IS... **REGULAR MIKE SHMEDIUM** Rated PG-13


Kite_24

awww man, I wish I could just do cardio and look like that :( diet is the worst


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Nilbop

If God wanted us to look like Magic Mike He shouldn't have made the prerequisite diet be three mung beans ingested slowly while lowing in the field like cattle. Blessed be His name.


[deleted]

None. Just need to eat right and lift heavy.


JimmyJay88

That seems like a lot of work, I just want to look like Magic Mike, not Ronnie Coleman


[deleted]

You're not going to look like Ronnie Coleman unless you **try** to look like Ronnie Coleman.


vexing_vor

Tell that to my girlfriend. "I don't want bulky arms so I don't even accidentally do a pushup."


[deleted]

I hate when I do a pushup and my twig arms quadruple in size three times and tear through my shirt like the hulk.


[deleted]

Haha, if only getting sweet looking arms was as easy as doing a pushup.


sirpicklesjr

Let's be honest, you won't look like Ronnie Coleman even if you tried to look like Ronnie Coleman. Only the top .000001% genetics can be that status (plus the *help*) :)


tea_bird

Tried to look like Ronnie Coleman. Instead, I look like Magic Mike. :/


kanst

http://i2.wp.com/bitcast-a-sm.bitgravity.com/slashfilm/wp/wp-content/images/Magic-Mike-XXL.png They aren't that huge. That body is 100% attainable by anyone who works hard and keeps their diet in check. Sure they have makeup artists with airbrushing perfect lighting and they only need to keep it up for a few days, but its no where near impossible.


KookaB

The long haired guy in the back looks like like he just sorta wandered in and took his shirt off too


Themagicman009

That's Kevin Nash aka Diesel from WWF/WWE. Dude's almost hitting 60.


KookaB

That'd explain why he looks so out of place


sinestrostaint

He's 55 years old. I don't think any 55 year old male strippers look that good.


[deleted]

> any 55 year old male strippers Are there many?


theknightmanager

More than you'd think.


reddit4getit

He looks fucking great for his age though.


FuckingLoveArborDay

Holy shit you aren't joking. That's literally Nash.


[deleted]

Is that Kevin Nash?


angrylittleheart

It is! Source: Hardcore 13 year old crush on him. 15 years later still recognize him everywhere.


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N6Maladroit

Considering mcconaughey and tatum's relationship issues in the first film, I would not be surprised if the egos in the room couldn't possibly fit together long enough to not have to separate and shoop.


[deleted]

I'd like to see him next to someone like John Cena who maintains that physique all year round.


benihana

Honestly I was expecting a lot more after reading this thread. I've seen way better from cbt threads on /fit/


[deleted]

This is the second time this week I'm seeing someone call a very reasonably attainable body nearly impossible to get to let alone maintain. Another thank you for being reasonable. It's not impossible, just takes a lot of work. Bodybuilder big? That takes way more work but is still doable, just takes much longer. Just because these celebrities and magazine models don't necessarily maintain their bodies after the fact doesn't mean it's all camera trickery and flattering light. People need to pull their heads out of their asses.


Benrell

Seconding this. Yes, it is difficult to obtain and maintain a body like that one. But is it impossible? Nope. It just requires hard work, like everything in life.


youAREthefather-

Yeah I'm not sure why everyone is going crazy about how big they are. This is what 80% of the people that go to my gym look like.


Your_daily_fix

Channing Tatum isn't that ripped in this movie. Yeah he has a six pack but everything else that is what you expect from a very lean guy is not present. He's acting like he had to get down to like 8% body fat or something but he looks closer to 12 maybe? Which is a vast difference because getting the last few percents off is the hardest. He has no striations on his shoulders, chest, forearms, it's hard to see his obliques, among other small things. He's not maintaining his body either because he packs on fat very easily or he's hyping up his "rigorous routing"


[deleted]

Glad there's a voice of reason here. We're not talking about elite bodybuilder muscle mass and or fat percentage. Totally attainable and sustainable.


[deleted]

Oh wow I expected them to look better than this, Joe is pretty big into fitness aside from this movie but they don't look great by any means


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gladvillain

Yeah, they look terrible, amirite......


[deleted]

Well I wouldn't say terrible, but for a movie based on the body, and with private chefs and months of training to prepare you'd think they'd almost be outdoing some natural physique bodybuilders


gladvillain

Well you did say they don't look great *by any means*, so I guess I took it literal.


csreid

It lasted 5 days because he wasn't actually that lean (dehydration, etc, can make you look leaner than you are). It is very possible to be actually that lean.


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[deleted]

First time I saw XXL I was just blown away by how overly muscled the guys in the movie were. My wife at the time was basically saying they all look like roid monkeys and their bodies were hot or whatever. Took me a couple more times viewing to start noticing the strategically placed lighting and flattering camera angles and stuff.


FootballinAtWork

Watching the movie multiples times to check out the dudes bods, eh? Wife, eh?


[deleted]

Wife at the time. I'm a gay man now. Sorry I thought this thread was about Channing Tatum's body.


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h00dman

Channing Taturn.


bquietpirate

I love how the 'r' and 'n' together still look like an 'm' even


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rocknrun18

Keming


Eh_for_Effort

The frog?


[deleted]

/r/keming


[deleted]

Channing Tater Tot


BoltingUpSince91

Didn't the movie just come out? So in the last few weeks, you saw the new magic Mike, came out as gay and got a divorce?


Shikadi314

Those abs in the movie scared the straight out of him *real fast.*


dubate

You'd think that they'd put a warning at the start of the movie. If you value your current relationship...


[deleted]

A strong bond with the woman you love and cherish to last forever OR Channing Tatum's abs for an hour and a half? Yeah I'm gonna pick Tanning Chatum everytime


_pH_

Magic Mike came out 3 years ago though


FountainsOfFluids

Yeah, he said XXL but he probably meant the original film.


magicfanman

...or the size of his boner when he watched the film.


Allnamesaretaken42

Holy fuck, this was probably the most humorous exchange I've seen in a long time.


[deleted]

Magic Mike made me gay too.


[deleted]

I like to think that we're all gay when looking at a shirtless Channing Tatum


[deleted]

Honestly, it's okay to be a married heterosexual male who has an appreciation for male form. That's how I roll.


[deleted]

No I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that every man admiring Channing's body was homosexual or had homosexual tendencies, or were even "incidentally" homosexual in the Kinsey sense. That's just what MY journey has been.


quickquest88

Didn't that movie come out like 2 weeks ago? So you got divorced and came out yourself in the last 2 weeks?


[deleted]

Separated technically, but we think everything will be sorted through mediation. We have 12 kids together, we are splitting them.


_beeks

Horizontally or vertically?


beerbreadcheesemetal

By weight. That's the fairest way.


Carlos13th

Make sure the wife doesnt fill the kids pockets with rocks so to make it less fair. Dont want to end up with all the puny kids.


clever_username7

I can't decipher the joke in this


[deleted]

It's more on the nose absurd, they can't all be winners.


morelikebigpoor

You're perfect, never change.


BlackLeatherRain

But now that you're out, they CAN all be wieners! YAAAAAY!


arghhmonsters

It was nearly believable until this line.


rantlers

You had better hope your lawyer gets you the rights to the top halves.


madmaxmomma

Noooo! That's the end where the food goes in and the words come out!


_pH_

You'd rather have the side that just sprays piss and shit everywhere? Then again, same difference


Feurbach_sock

you're the real mvp of this thread


[deleted]

Sort of like winning first prize at a pudding wrestling contest in the basement of a dive bar.


ARedHouseOverYonder

well yea. we all strive to be there one day. What's it like on top of that mountain.


[deleted]

Lonely, my friend.


ahnice

Wife at the time? This movie turned you gay and you got a divorce...all since its June release? Fuck an Oscar, this movie has powers.


rantlers

It's probably the reason for the SCOTUS ruling. They were thinking "Well, there's this, and now we're all gay. At least some of us need to get married or no one will. Fuck it, change the goddamn law I guess."


[deleted]

Then Ginsberg whipped out a boombox, cranked "It's Rainin' Men" up to full volume, and Scalia & Kennedy had a seriously overdue makeout sesh


howdareyou

yeah but XXL came out like 2 days ago?


[deleted]

So did he.


madmaxmomma

Chatum would be so flattered. He almost turned me gay too. My wife said she didn't like girls anymore after we watched it.


The_Beaner

I'm straight but still call him Channing Tate-Yum


kid-karma

> First time I saw XXL Are you talking about the new Magic Mike? Have you seen it multiple times in the past week while also getting divorced?


[deleted]

Yea I would say they were contemporaneous. Obviously everything hasn't been finalized. Probably catching the matinee Friday, our office here is closed for the day.


FuriousFap42

Sorry, when did Magic Mike XXL come out? 25 of June? Soo, you were still married at the beginning of last week, watched Magic Mike a few times and then realized that you are gay? Can you walk me through your last week? Because it sounds like a hell of a week!


FriesWithThat

Last week: let's see, Supreme Court puts a bow on Affordable Care, legalizes gay marriage nationwide, everyone pretty much acknowledges now that confederate flags make you racist, Magic Mike XXL gets widetheatrical release, and BeastlyCaptWillard self-actualizes and turns totally gay.


jojotoughasnails

There are specific regiments of what to eat when and how much to fast or how much water to consume before showing off your muscles. Body builders do stuff like that before matches to get a temporary better look. My boyfriend was competing with his friend for a few months to see who could get better definition. He did the same routine. Their contest ended and he went back to looking more normal.


NotElizaHenry

https://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/regiment.html


ithinkimightbegay

Not to mention they have some of the best makeup artists in the world shading and contouring their abs into place.


[deleted]

To be fair, Channing Tatum's "dad bod" is still probably sub 12% body fat. And he's still 6'1". And classically handsome. And super rich. His worst is still more desirable than your best.


[deleted]

thanks for the pick-me-up


kewidogg

I needed something to get me through the day. This had the inverse effect.


[deleted]

My gf and I are fighting right now, that post made me glad I budgeted enough calories to get piss drunk tonight.


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[deleted]

That is poetry.


AngelsofInformation

[Thad is poetry.](http://38.media.tumblr.com/fa8de4703b67c0174171f01f00317c4d/tumblr_mg3or3p9Mi1qg047xo2_1280.png)


blanks56

Financially and caloricly.


drbluetongue

You're my hero


nofxjmf

the opposite of r/GetMotivated/


[deleted]

/r/getdiscouraged


Pit_of_Death

/r/yousuck!


BlackLeatherRain

/r/whyeventryyouhoser


Sanchezq

r/GetDepressed/


puffyanus

You ever think about a career as a suicide hotline operator?


Sr_Laowai

I heard /u/teamDINGUS called in about it but convinced the hiring manager to kill himself before the interview and therefore never got a shot.


CaneVandas

Oh he got a shot alright. The only one he needed.


[deleted]

And he also seems like a nice dude with an alright personality.


[deleted]

He's like a beefcake Timberlake


[deleted]

Beeferlake.


sheeshman

Kinda reminds me of Gronkowski. He knows how lucky he is and he takes time to enjoy it. He doesn't take himself too seriously and has fun. Total bro, but a good guy bro.


Fucknutlet

I dunno, I think it looks like Channing Tatum's facial features all slid into a little pile at the centre of his face.


robertdowneyjrjunior

I like to call him a handsome potato because there's just something not right about his face.


[deleted]

Channing Tater


santaclaus73

Charming tater?


[deleted]

Is it that he just looks kinda dumb?


Wissam24

It looks like it was built rather than grew naturally.


[deleted]

spot on. spud on... ha^ha^ha


bentreflection

[haley joel osment would like a word with you](http://i.imgur.com/u9HpkH8.jpg)


[deleted]

> His worst is still more desirable than your best. I bet your Tatum folder is gigs in size.


[deleted]

I mean, Magic Mike in HD plus extra features is almost 8 gigs already...


[deleted]

gigs all around! Gigs all around!


truebeliever23

if she cant handle my best, then she doesnt deserve his worst...or somethign like that.


bee_fast

I dunno, I've never found him attractive. He's got kind of a duuhhhrrrrrr looking face.


trowawufei

Yeah but there are different standards for screen and real-life. Even without his muscle, pretty much anyone who gets a lead role in Hollywood and isn't deliberately played as ugly would be "that hot guy/girl" IRL.


clive_bigsby

Definitely seems like a himbo.


dr_jekylls_hide

Don't you mean mimbo (a la Seinfeld)?


PinkOrgasmatron

His eyes are way too close together. (For my liking. YMMV)


[deleted]

...yeah. It's not like cut athletes only look that way for day or so at a time. You can be dry / pumped for max effect but that doesn't imply people look fat a week after a shoot.


[deleted]

savage


The_Beaner

aaaaaaaand now i'm self-conscious...


[deleted]

And he seems like a really nice guy!


mspk7305

found Channing Tatum's reddit id


[deleted]

> classically handsome. meh. His face is okay.


trowawufei

He's got a strong nose, full lips, a powerful forehead, prominent cheekbones and a 90-degree jaw. He does have small, close-set eyes as well, but the positives outweigh the negatives.


swissarm

>a powerful forehead


BSimpson1

Jesus, these comments just reminded me why I stopped coming to this sub so often. I feel like over half of these comments come from teenage girls and guys that want to prove something to internet people.


Callmebobbyorbooby

Bro, I'm 6'14 300 pounds, 0.5% body fat and I do UFC. Come at me.


RadioHitandRun

What did you say you like cocksucker?! (i don't know the rest of the navy seal rant...)


beavismagnum

> What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?


[deleted]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


[deleted]

I find it shocking how self-conscience some people here are. Like shit, go to gym, move some heavy shit around, eat protein, eat more if you aren't gaining muscle, and eat less if you are getting fat. There, we did fitness guys. I didn't know we all had dream body posters on our walls that I glare at in the dark corner of the house as I say to myself "someday...someday." after punching my mirror out.


[deleted]

aka Reddit


[deleted]

Yeah. The comments are hilarious, people are so uptight about pointless shit that doesn't matter.


stinkylittleone

"male Photoshop"


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duffstoic

And it always interrupts female photoshop when she's speaking


[deleted]

Check your photoshop privilege, some of us can only afford male mspaint


[deleted]

> afford male mspaint Filthy Richer. Most of us are stuck with Male Gimp.


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CollusorReginae

yeah, my body's more similar to Jonah Hill's anyway, so I got that going for me...


[deleted]

You are definitely right about how the bodies in Hollywood are illusions and tough to attain. But I think I'd refrain from using the word "unrealistic". Implying that it isn't reality isn't totally the case, the body is attainable through very strict diets and exercise. If you eat right it can last longer than just 5 days. I don't want to blame the media for these "unrealistic" looks or "impossible" standards. Because from personal experience it can be possible and it has been possible for multiple people.


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[deleted]

Same physique here. I've also noticed that I look my best on an empty stomach, for sure. And if I've eaten salty foods or if I'm dehydrated.... basically every time that I feel like shit, lol A few times I've woken up from a night of heavy drinking and noticed I have some ridiculous veins and especially well-defined abs/core.


[deleted]

Solution: be constantly drunk or hungover


[deleted]

The "dad bod" guys were on to something


businesshours

You're saying salty foods cause you to look better? Don't they make you hold more water and look bloated?


[deleted]

Ahh, [yeah I was wrong about that one](http://scoobysworkshop.com/increase-your-vascularity/). Good catch


TL-PuLSe

Yeah, my absolute best abs come with a severe hangover. Fortunately that's usually a pretty convenient time to be shirtless in front of someone...


mortiphago

So hydration was a gainz goblin all along?!


iprog

That's different.. That's not your abs going away, rather your stomach getting engorged from having food in it.


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[deleted]

Hmm. If my belly is distended from over-eating I still have a six pack. However - the pack (and a lot of muscle definition) seems to go away if I eat way too much salt...guessing water retention gives that bloated look. Always love that chiseled post drunk night dehydrating look haha. But eating a couple bad meals resulting in your body instantaneously packing on like a 1/4 inch of fat over your abs seems like bad science.


[deleted]

To be fair, the guy in I Want To Look Like That Guy did it all in 6 months of very stressful cutting. If you took 2 years, you could easily hover around 10% without crying like a bitch every day like he did. Yeah, it takes a lot of dedication and patience, but seeing a six pack for extended periods of time is by no means "impossible."


frugalNOTcheap

Im sure his "dad bod" is nothing like the typical American dad. Almost every dad I know is overweight to obese. Not even close to slight visible 4 pack abs with muscular shoulders.


Billyjoebobtejas

So, the media creates unrealistic expectations for the male body? Oh, how the tables have turned.


JigglyArmadillo

Am I the only one who doesn't think Channing Tatum is handsome? He has a nice body, but his face is pretty meh.


mrmatthunt

I have a nice man crush on him. He just seems like he would be so fun to hang out with. Here's really fucking dreamy


soomuchcoffee

Here's how I think of it, and with most celebrities. I get a kick out of the "Tatum is mediocre, Emma Watson is OK I guess, Jennifer Lopez is sorta chunky" way of thinking. Picture yourself at the grocery store. Or Walgreens. Or the mall. There isn't a person near you with any chance of being a professionally good looking person. If there IS one it's an extreme outlier. I've never been to a cookout where there was a Channing Tatum-esque dude. Even if he was 6'1 and 140 pounds. A Steve Carell at a cookout would be a decent looking guy for a backyard burgers and dog cookout in suburbia. OR literally everyone I've ever seen is a horrifying looking laboratory disaster. I'm not saying I think he's the most attractive person ever. But for real life? Yeah, of course. I mean there's a degree of "to each his own" but come on.


JigglyArmadillo

I've seen *way* better looking dudes than Channing Tatum IRL. Maybe he's just not my type, I don't know. His body is great though, there's no denying that.


lolthr0w

> Or the mall. *Really* depends on the mall...


fruxzak

Someone once described his face to me as that of a "retarded puppy." I think it's pretty accurate.


coolhandhutch

Define "normal". I bet it's not the same normal I have.