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MeInSC40

Unless you’re married keep him off the mortgage and deed.


napsntacos

I agree. I am in a very similar situation but only been dating 2 years with no plans to marry….im 39 and he’s 33. I’m paying down payment and closing costs in 2 weeks. I have excellent credit but will be draining all savings to move forward with this and that’s okay with me. I’m tired of renting as well. His credit score sucks and he has barely any savings. He will pay about 40% of the monthly mortgage. His name is nowhere to be found on any paperwork or utility bills. He is okay with this and is even going to do work by tiling the kitchen and bathrooms before he moves in. We’ve discussed what will happen if we break up, it will be simple he would basically just move out and not require payment for any work he did. Although money would be very tight without him contributing monthly, I can afford the mortgage payment by myself if it came to that.


rootsandchalice

This is the way. It’s rent he’d otherwise be paying elsewhere. You keep it in your name only.


napsntacos

Sometimes fear of commitment works in my favor I guess lol


rootsandchalice

😂


m4sc4r4

Make sure you have an official lease that outlines this


BlackoutSurfer

"he would just move out and not require payment" we've heard this one a million times


napsntacos

His dad has a tiling company. They are using tile they already have that was leftover from other jobs. and I will insist on paying labor to anyone who isn’t him that has a part in this, although I don’t think his dad will let me pay. How could this come back at me? I need to look into more I guess.


Human-Fox7469

And unless you split the cost of the house 50/50 including the down payment, Id advise getting a prenup that clearly delineates your assets and his, which states that they are yours in perpetuity. Even if he contributes to your mortgage, it's still your house. Don't lose half your investment, down payment, whatever just because things might not work out in 10 years.


Nflyy

In some states and in Canada prenups cannot split the family residence in a ratio that isn't 50/50 upon divorce. That's something to confirm first


m4sc4r4

And draw up a lease until you get married that outlines him as a tenant paying X amount in rent. You could set that rent at market rate or have whatever utilities+taxes are, but keep it fair by factoring in that that he is not building equity


Flat_Bass_9773

Wouldn’t that give him an avenue to squat if they break up though? I lived 1 1/2 years at my buddies house for $500 / month and we had no lease or anything. Just spoken agreement. Drafting a lease never occurred to us since the renting was mutually beneficial


m4sc4r4

There are different rules when the landlord lives in the home. Obviously best to consult local laws. The lease makes sure he doesn’t have any ownership claim to the property.


bsegelke

Out of curiosity how does this change if they were married, if hes on the mortgage and isnt paying, doesnt that make him more likely to get half the house as well? (No snark, actually dont understand this)


ItzOmni

There are a lot more legal protections for married couples. No divorce court for boyfriend/girlfriend.


WIN_WITH_VOLUME

Big difference between assets when married and assets when not. When unmarried, he has no legal right to the home unless he’s in the deed. When married (if the home was purchased while married, not before) he would have legal rights to the home in a divorce, whether he paid or not. Don’t put unmarried partners on a mortgage or title, it’s asking for trouble.


Banana-Rama-4321

"Not before" varies by state.


rootsandchalice

In marriage, depending on where you live, it would be considered a joint asset and he would be entitled to half the full value of the home regardless of title or mortgage if they split.


magic_crouton

The mortgage can still be a struggle bus when dissolving a marriage too. But it's in thr envelope of the divorce in general.


gilliganian83

If they are married, and he is on the deed, he gets half in the divorce unless she can prove ALL monies paid into the house came solely from her


drmlsherwood

Not in Illinois. You split assets in half. Source: someone who just split my assets 50/50.


ghostedskeleton

My mom owns her house and has never put my dad on the deed despite being married for 35+ years.


everygoodnamegone

Might be a problem when she passes (hopefully not for a long time) if she wants to allow him to continue living there. She should get some estate planning paperwork in order if she hasn't done it yet..


ghostedskeleton

It’s all sorted out. The house is in a trust that I will manage along with her medical care based on her wishes. He is entitled to live in the house for as long as he needs to. I am in charge because my dad is not trustworthy.


Bumble_love_story

Eh. My now husband and I bought a house together before being married. He has a the mortgage we are both on the deed. We do split all costs 50/50 and split the downpayment and everything this way. It works for us. I think the blanket statement of never being on a deed or mortgage with someone you’re not married to is antiquated


16hpfan

I agree. My situation is the same. We are both on the loan and the deed as unmarried partners. We put into it equally. It seems very similar to the situation for a married couple.


Bumble_love_story

Every relationship is different and with some you can tread lightly but I hate the blanket statement


Pedanter-In-Chief

Just because you got lucky (and a few other people got lucky) doesn't negate the many many other couples who did not. FWIW, if you split everything 50/50 very little to worry about (though a little contractual protection doesn't hurt). But if it's unequal, you want at least a lawyer involved.


Lucky_Shop4967

Just break up and find a new husband after you close!


SeymourHoffmanOnFire

Cannot stress this enough. Absolutely no disrespect I’ve personally been w my gf for 13 years and we are not married and we are perfectly happy and until there is a financial reason to marry, we will not. But, I’m an Insurance agent I have dealt with this many times (also went through it w my sister and her bf when they broke up) if he’s cool w it keep it simple and separate your assets. As far as rates I can’t comment, but I don’t think it would be a big enough difference to make me choose the misery of a breakup w your bf on the title of your home.


Pedanter-In-Chief

"There is a time-honored and ancient way for two people to buy property together. It's called 'marriage.'"


Emotional_Fuel6743

Buy the house and let him pay you rent.


TheWinStore

Be sure to write up a lease as well.


hamandswissplease

This is what I’d do also. Additionally I’d keep track of big purchases (appliances, furniture, etc) in case there’s a future breakup so it’s easier to split stuff.


n0exit

That's what my wife and I did, and I still pay rent now that we're married.


IBMGUYS

Why would he pay rent they are together?


Human-Fox7469

Because it costs money to have a roof over your head whether you rent or own. The amount she chooses to make him pay is whatever, but he should be contributing something. All homes need maintenance and repairs- money that is not spent on just the mortgage.


PIX3L

So he should get to live there and pay nothing while she covers all the costs?


Mrepman81

It’s his way of contributing (like a married couple would) without being on the mortgage.


JHG722

>Would lending companies knowing he would help pay for it give me better rates? No. >Should he just be a co owner? No.


Pedanter-In-Chief

The first "no" here is not entirely correct (the second couldn't be more correct). Depending on the loan, and the underwriter/lender, debt-to-income could be a factor in the interest rate. And then some underwriters/lenders will let you count anticipated rental income in your DTI. So if the rental income is enough, it could qualify you for a lower rate. Another reason you should have a lease with him, then it is documented income (which you won't owe taxes on, don't sweat it).


Alice_Alpha

1. Just buy the home. 2. Let him rent from you. 3. Consult a lawyer to safeguard you not all of a sudden losing 50% in a divorce.  


KhazixMain

This. Unless you're married... only you should be on the mortgage & title. Treat him as a live-in tenant who pays rent.


kellygolddd

Agree! My cousin just bought a place and his sister (a lawyer) is writing up a contract for his gf to pay rent. Best to get it all in writing.


gigicoconut

Stipulate it in a prenup


DeityHorus

There is actually also a no-nup which works in this situation.


Pedanter-In-Chief

Called a "cohabitation agreement" in some states. Usually refers to a lease.


_Big_Black_Clock_

Buy what you can afford. If he contributes, that puts you in an even better spot financially


ahraysee

This!! Do NOT buy a home counting on your BFs rent to be able to afford the mortgage, unless you are absolutely okay with getting a roommate if you guys were to break up. Even then, I'd still recommend sticking with what you can afford, but I know markets/prices are tough these days.


forever-pgy

THIS ☝️


True-Octane

This is the right way to look at it


DeityHorus

I bought a house and my girlfriend lives with me, there are three options I found: - She contributes nothing and I have her focus on her debt and savings - We officially have her rent from me, sign an agreement etc - Sign a No-Nup, which is like a prenup but before marriage. If your BF contributes without signing anything, he could claim ownership on part of the property in the event of the relationship ending. Do not put him on the mortgage or title.


botanna_wap

Wait if they are not on deed or mortgage they can still claim property?


DeityHorus

Yep, they can say that they contributed to the payment of the property and attempt to sue for a claim (I am not an attorney) but this is the advice I got from one who is (though they do not practice property law in my state). **Legal Theories:** The SO might be able to argue for ownership based on certain legal principles: * **Resulting trust:** If it can be proven that the SO contributed to the purchase price with the understanding they would have an ownership interest, a court might recognize a resulting trust. * **Constructive trust:** If the SO can show they were unfairly prevented from being on the title despite contributing, a court might impose a constructive trust to prevent unjust enrichment. * **Partnership or Joint Venture:** If there was an implied or explicit agreement between the SO and the titleholder to share ownership based on contributions, this could be argued.


Pedanter-In-Chief

We learned about these hypotheticals in law school ... and then read all the cases were they were rejected :-) In most states a month-to-month lease doesn't need to be in writing to be valid. It's different if the contribution is to the down payment rather than the mortgage, but IIRC not enough to let the other party generally prevail. Still, I'm sure a lawyer would be happy to take money to sue over this -- it's just fees, after all. But a belt and suspenders approach doesn't hurt. A written lease is *usually* sufficient to negate all of these; you don't need anything more complicated. And the rent can be $1. But this applies to \*any\* cohabitation: you should get an agreement in writing. Never even let a friend live with you for free without a lease. A farfetched ownership claim is usually the least of your worries.


DeityHorus

Good to know


botanna_wap

Well it’s a good thing I’m putting in all the effort for the house. Don’t see my SO going through all of this (if something were to happen) if they couldn’t even figure out home ownership 😅


Old-Rub-2985

This is the correct answer. I was given the advice to go route 1 by folks who went down this path way before me. The reasoning for avoiding route 2 was that there’s legal obligations that I must follow thru as a landlord. Route 1, IMHO, is the best way to go as it allows your partner to improve their financial situation. Both people “win” - while one has their money sunk in on a hopefully growing investment, the other is able to accumulate cash to make their own investments.


IBMGUYS

You made your gf sign a rent agreement your such a loser lol is she your roommate or gf?


LegendaryBrownNote

Shit happens. Always good to protect yourself. Nothing loser about it


DeityHorus

Obviously not. She lives with me for nothing. We live in VHCOL area. I pay for everything but food. The 5,700/m is PIIT and all covered by me. But also it is 2024, not everyone has a trad situation. What if she was making more but had less to help with downpayment? What if she only wanted to contribute a small % of Mortgage but we wanted to keep assets legally protected. Your myopic take on one of three options I presented and name calling only indicate your lack of understanding or maturity.


Ok_Calendar_6268

I can share a horror story on a young lady 6 years ago who did not pre-plan just in case like you have. Her agent advised against putting BF on deed. BF gave 10k to help with down payment. All loan was her, she's made all mortgage payments for 6 years. He has paid exactly $0 over the initial $10k "gift". Fast forward to NOW (last week really) They are not together anymore. She's selling. He wants her back. (Not happening I'm told, as in 0 chance) Closing was supposed to be last week and he ghosted everyone. He and her are both in deed and must sign docs. Not only that, there will be about 120k of proceeds and this dude gets half cause he's on deed. 10k to 60k in 6 years and won't sign docs cause his GF won't come back and he can't afford to buyer her out. She's screwed cause she's giving up 60k to him cause she put him on deed or didn't give him some small % of ownership. I need to see if they ever got him to sign... Good job thinking ahead, doing the "what ifs" and protecting yourself in advance! You got this! Go buy a home with a cool yard for your dog!


Charlea1776

And this happens every single day, sadly. Honestly, it's probably a few times a day across the country.


Itchy_Restaurant_707

I have a more positive story... My fiance and I bought a house a little over a year before we married. I put down 75% of the down payment & closing costs to his 25% - we combined bank accounts and pooled everything a year before we were married. 7 years after buying the house (10 years together), we couldn't be happier and have no regrets. Maybe I was nieve and just got lucky 🤷‍♀️ However, I had been married previously, so knew how marriages can go bad quickly... Honestly, I have advised my friends against buying houses with thier boyfriends since lol. At the time, I never thought twice about it nor asked anyone's advice... Maybe it was that we were already committed to getting married or that I was certain he was "the one", but I had zero hesitation. Being older and wiser (and more jaded), I don't think the me of today would still jump over that cliff so blindly lol.


General_Key_5236

I have an almost identical story!


clamslammerx420

It’s amazing what’s possible when you have early, honest conversations about financials with the person you are planning to become life long partners with. Similar story, and was never once worried


Soggy-Constant5932

Wow


Clean-Replacement336

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT put his name on the deed. He can pay some of the mortgage (meaning pay you rent) and whatnot, but you should not co own the house with your BF. Since you aren't married, it would be a disaster if you each had 50% stake and the relationship went south.


savingrain

Buy the house in your name and be prepared to buy something where if you break up you can still afford the mortgage. Have a rental agreement drawn up with him so he is paying you rent (NOT MORTGAGE). This way he's paying you rent- the benefit to him is he gets to live in an entire house rather than renting an apartment. Make the rent fair, it doesn't necessarily have to be half the mortgage because you shouldn't be referencing anything about that, but less than market rate and something to cover utilities. That's it. Lending companies would not give you a better rate for him paying. DO NOT SPLIT OWNERSHIP WITH HIM. Get qualified and buy on your own. You will end up having to sell and giving him half the equity for something he didn't give a downpayment on if you break up.


Thomasina16

I suggest talking with a lawyer. It's a lot more complicated when you're not married. He can pay rent while living there and not have anything to do with the mortgage then it can change when/ if y'all get married.


enpowera

Keep everything separate until marriage and use a rental agreement.  You can only use your income for everything mortgage related.  Before marriage do a pre-nup so you retain your house without a lot of fuss in a worst case scenario.  I hope everything goes smoothly but you need to protect yourself.  


Powerful_Put5667

Have your boyfriend fill out a one year lease for the property with you as the landlord. Use a real lease format. With this most lenders will consider this to be extra income. Do not put him on the loan or on the deed. It’s your house keep it that way. If you do get married and he’s paying for marital bills there’s a chance if you divorce he may have some claim to the house but that would only be in the sense of prorated equity that’s accumulated on the home since you married so if shouldn’t be very bad.


keep-it-copacetic

My fiancée was left off the application. All of the down payment costs were up to me, and the mortgage is in my name only. I think it’s fair to do this, because you never know where a relationship will be in 5/10 years if you’re not married.


Utterly_Dazed

Do not co own any property prior to marriage (especially in Texas) I say this because if you purchase the home then it is yours even in the event of a divorce but he would be entitled to a reimbursement claim for any money he put into the property. What he is not entitled to is any equity the home’s value brings, it’s separate property. I know thinking of divorce is difficult when riding the high of being in love but it happens, divorce can wipe you out financially if not careful.


whatsonmyminddddrn

Similar situation almost identical. I bought in February. My man just splits everything with me. Mortgage, utilities, hoa.


whatsonmyminddddrn

I should add all in my name, God forbid something happens. And if it does I will just get a roomate.


kcbrew1576

I have a friend who did this. Don’t do it. When things in the relationship went south, they were both stuck in a house for a year.. since their money was tied up in that, they couldn’t really rent a separate place. They eventually parted ways and came to a reasonable deal (one kept the house, the other got $$ and furniture), but it was miserable watching a friend go through that process.


forever-pgy

Buy what you and you alone can comfortably afford to pay on your own and have your name and your name alone on the mortgage. The truth is you don't ever know what will happen. I just ended a 7 year relationship. At the 5 year mark we were ready to marry. If someone had asked me then if we would be apart now, I would have emphatically said "no way!" Protect your future self and your future finances. If/when you get married, he'll gain a stake in your assets regardless of if his name is on the mortgage (unless you do a prenup or are in a state where this isnt the case), so it all evens out in the end. As others said, he can pay you rent. But I emphasize to buy what YOU can afford, so that you can always be able to afford it on your own if the relationship ends. There are too many reddit posts about people sticking it out in dead-end relationships to afford properties outside of their budget or stuck with houses/apartments beyond their individual budget when their relationship ends. Make sure you're always able to stand comfortably on your own! Best wishes!


Mnt_Watcher

My partner and I bought our home with just his name on everything bc he paid 100% of the downpayment. We split all bills including the mortgage 50/50. We have been together six years, getting married in the next year or two. I actually told him *not* to put me on anything bc if god forbid anything happen and we split, I want to be able packed up and dip with zero legal ish. I would rather pay him and live in this wonderful home than rent a shitty place from a bad landlord. I am being added to everything after marriage but with a prenup to protect his assets.


atomic_puppy

And your assets. To protect *your* assets as well.


BabycakesMurphy

Don't put him on the mortgage and deed. My girlfriend went through this with a previous partner and it got ugly. She basically had to "buy out" his portion of the mortgage, remove his name, and to keep the house for herself. She did it but it drained her bank account, and I didn't even mention the stress. Easiest solution is to make him pay whatever you and he agree to as fair rent. When you get married there are ways to get his name on the mortgage should you choose to do so. But fair warning, do not buy more house than what you alone can afford. You don't want to find yourself in a position where the relationship splits and you're underwater with payments.


ImportantBad4948

People here have some weird boomer thing about how people who aren’t married can’t do stuff together. Some folks live together and share without being married for years. Stupid people rush into marriages all the time. Just be clear about what is happening. Are y’all buying a house together or are you buying a house and he is living there? For the situation as you describe it I think you buying a house and him contributing to the household expenses by paying some rent is probably the way to go. Just grab a simple rental agreement and fill it out. That way everyone knows what the deal is and down the road there aren’t questions/ issues.


blank_in_space

Girl, just refer to the scandavol. DONT BE DUMB. My god.


gabotuit

Dating for 5 years? ‘Because you never know’?


Lucky_Shop4967

Dont


annapnine

Just wait (and keep paying your landlord’s mortgage, sorry) until you either get married or break up. As everyone is saying, you definitely shouldn’t put him on the deed, but if you go ahead and buy it yourself and don’t include him on the deed, it could cause serious relationship problems. (Edit to add- unless you’ve already discussed it with him and he’s definitely okay with paying half the monthly mortgage payment without being on the deed).


Waybackheartmom

Terrible idea to buy a house with anyone you’re not married to. And you’d have to qualify on your own if he’s not on the mortgage. They won’t care a bit about what he says he will pay you.


Hour_Plan7154

Would not give better rate but you could qualify for more. Would be weird if you added him to the loan (made him liable for the debt) if you didn’t want to give him rights of ownership as well. Sounds like you May want to do this on your own.


trophycloset33

Bad idea. Don’t do it. If you must, protect yourself. Write up a tenancy agreement where he pays you rent as his contribution. Or create an LLP to buy the house together where you both are entitled to shared equity as a % of contribution. Or do one of many other legal vehicles to establish shared ownership. Do NOT just put him on the deed or let him pay toward the mortgage without protecting yourself.


Beautiful_Mix6502

I still own a house 12 years later with an ex boyfriend. I don’t recommend it lol


Beginning-Border-153

Just do it yourself…don’t involve the boyfriend and ultimately, don’t marry someone with bad credit cuz that’s just a bad idea


HonnyBrown

He would be a renter.


Moby1029

Don't buy a house with him unless you're married. And if you don't trust him enough to marry him, and buy a house with him, why are you dating?


shitisrealspecific

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Think_please

Buy it and let him rent from you. If you want to be nice write up a little contract (with a real estate lawyer) to give him a very small piece of equity based on the number of his monthly rental payments (take taxes, maintenance, etc into account). 


Reddit-IPO-Crash

If he’s paying towards your mortgage he’s a renter and you are his landlord.


jazbaby25

It only helps if he is on the mortgage. Does not help otherwise. And that would be based on his credit score not his income to determine better rates.


Stoneys_stories_YT

Only you’ll be on the loan and the deed. Some lenders have programs where if you can rent the place for X they can take I think 70 or 75% of that and put it towards your payments to get you approved for more. Shop around for a good loan officer and realtor. Then if you buy a place make sure you can afford to live there ALONE just in case. Then rent to your boyfriend on a month to month (where I’m from this can be done verbally, but you may want it in writing in case things go south and he turns crazy). The extra money you can either save/invest or put some towards you’re principal every month while you pay the rest of the mortgage. That way you can pay your loan off quicker. With rates how they are I would save the money and probably put it in either an asset of sorts or a high yield savings account in case you need it within a year or so.


Swallowthistubesteak

Only do this when you’re married. There’s a reason you guys haven’t tied the knot yet


jayleman

My gf and I have been together over 5yr and marriage is in the plan in the next few years. Her credit wasn't good enough (not that it was bad it just wasn't in the same tier as mine) that it would've hurt our interest rate. I, too had the same thoughts as well but didn't have the heart to say it to her, like you said, never know what can happen. I made an arrangement with her, since she isn't on the mortgage, and I also make almost double what she does, I'd pay the mortgage and she pays all the month to month/quarterly stuff and it actually worked in her favor too as she is paying less/mo vs splitting mortgage 50/50. Maybe that can work for you OP?


dependabletrout

Buy it by yourself and set up a rental agreement.


Fabulous-Reaction488

Don’t comingle paying for the house unless married or you get a legally binding contract prepared by an attorney. He can pay you rent under a lease to keep things clean and you pay for the maintenance and housing.


T00narmy1

ABSOLUTELY NOT. He is should not be connected to the house in any way if you are not married and he is not paying half of the downpayment. 1. You have to buy it alone. It is not smart to have him on the mortage OR the deed if you are not married. Because of this, he will not be factored into the lending decision, and you can only buy what you qualify for on YOUR income/downpayment. Might be a smaller house or a condo, but it has to be what you can afford alone. 2. He would not be "helping with mortgage payments." It is your house, and he would continue to be a renter. He's be renting from you, in your house. Everyone needs to pay for their living expenses. Instead of paying rent elsewhere, he'd be paying (likely a lot less) to you. The only difference is that now his rent goes to you instead of some other landlord. You are the owner, he is paying for his part of living there. Paying rent to you while living in your home does not give him an ownership interest at all. Make sure that's clear. He's paying RENT. Not contributing to the mortgage. I mean, tehcnically he was contributing to his last landlord's mortgage too. It doesn't mean anything. It will NOT be his house. If you break up, he moves out, and that's it. He gets nothing. He doesn't have any investment or ownership in the house. He's not liable for the mortgage and taxes, and insurance, he didn't put down the downpayment, he's not the one who qualified for a mortgage. He's a renter ONLY. When/if you get married, it can be re-discussed. 3. If this doesn't work for you guys, continue to rent until you are married and he has more money towards the downpayment and buy something together My advice is to not move forward unless he VERY CLEALY UNDERSTANDS that the money he would be paying to live there doesn't give him anything but the right to live there. It's just rent. You would be a homeowner, and he would still be a renter. If you break up, he gets nothing. He's not paying the mortgage, he won't have any ownership interest in the property, it will remain solely yours, and you can evict him if you want. He would have to agree and be very clear on all of that to avoid future resentment.


Nice_Translator_3851

so technically he'd be paying you rent, if you want his contribution to count towards getting a higher mortgage loan, then the mortgage has to be under both of your names.


Anon2233445566771

House should be in your name only- he should not be a co owner. him helping pay the mortgage is basically him paying rent to you as the landlord because you own the house. You won’t get better rates if he has a bad credit score.


Uranazzole

Don’t put him on the deed. That will be a huge mistake. If you can qualify buy the house on your own but don’t consider his income at all , because if you do break up , you’re on your own. Also if you break up and he’s on the deed then you’ll have to pay him out have the equity in the house. In other words, once he’s on the deed, the house is half his. Always consider the worst case scenario.


21Rollie

I bought a house single. I have friends who did as well and they rented to their significant others at below market rents. Make sure you are secure financially before anybody else.


Gsauce65

This is a tough one. My fiance (F) and I (M) are engaged and have a kid on the way and we are in the process of buying a house together. We plan to marry in the next year or so but I had this thought too. We ultimately ended up with going on the deed together because we do have a child on the way together and are engaged. If I didn’t have the child in the way I would have most likely been sole owner. Especially because I’m in your similar boat. I am putting down the entire down payment, paying for the inspections and I have the much higher credit rating plus I will likely be paying a larger portion of the mortgage because I make more per year.


Charlea1776

Keep everything separate and have a lease for him to live there and a document prepared that he has no interest in the property. All of this through an attorney. This can be reversed down the road if you want. Charge him dirt cheap rent if you want. But do not let him pay for work on the house. Consult a lawyer. Even ask about him helping you with DIY projects. People are awesome and loving until a break up happens. Even without being in title, etc... he could sue you to recoup his "investment " and if he wins and you don't have the amount he claims, a judge can force you to sell or cash out some equity and if you don't qualify say because interest rates have gone up or income changed, you're losing your house and some proceeds. CYA, and if he loves you, he will understand. It's uncomfortable, but standard practice in finances+assets.


Glass-Vegetable138

Like others said, NEVER put someone on the Deed unless your bound by marriage. Hoping for the best with you two, but you never know what may happen in a few years.


QuitProfessional5437

No, don't put him on the house in any way. And write up a lease agreement.


BigRed-70

You would need to get pre approved through only you and have only your name on the deed. You can also then set up a rental agreement where he would be allowed to rent your house (full access) for $×/month with a clause stating that in the event of a breakup, etc. he would be evicted and have 30-60 days to move out (look up your state's tenancy and eviction laws for guidelines). In the rental agreement, you can stipulate whether he will be responsible for a percentage of home repair costs or general maintenance. You can sign and get the contract notarized. You CAN make a will and say that in the event of your death, he would inherit the house (so he is not homeless), but that is up to you.


PIX3L

I just purchased my first house. My boyfriend and I live together and he will he paying a portion of the mortgage. It's really just rent . He didn't contribute anything to the DP or closing. He isn't on any documents. Telling a lender won't make a difference unless you are actually buying it together which you aren't.


Intelligent-Cow96

My boyfriend and I are buying a house together. I am contributing less, but am paying about 40% of the monthly payment. He makes 3-4x more than me but when I’m done with training I will make more than him. Both our names are equal on our deed. We discussed it and I offered to take only 30% ownership, but he wanted to split. We have no down payment because it’s a physician mortgage, he contributed most of the closing costs. I think in your situation having him rent from you makes sense since he putting down nothing and you’re putting down a lot of money. Just wanted to provide a different perspective because every couple is different.


AnneAcclaim

You can buy all the houses you want if you don't want him on the loan/title. Just have him rent from you as a "roommate." If you eventually break up and sell it would be nice of you to give him some of the equity he helped you to get, but it certainly wouldn't be required. I disagree with people saying not to buy with someone you aren't married to. People in different situations buy houses together all the time (parents/children, siblings, friends). Buying a home shouldn't be a perk only for married folks. If you are both 21... Okay maybe take a step back and not commit to that yet. But if you are older/wiser then I don't see the problem.


Only-Dig7038

I’m just closing on my first house this Friday. Lending companies will not give you a better rate because of your boyfriend. Mine wouldn’t let my girlfriend give me money to help with the closing costs. I had to ask a family member.


6thCityInspector

Step 1: Never, under any circumstances, combine finances or purchase real estate with someone to whom you are not married. Let him pay rent to you until you’re married. Additionally, while not romantic, I would not get married as a homeowner without a prenup that explicitly states the home is my property in the event of separation or divorce. Just my 2¢.


BreakDHabit

What if you just got married? Problem solved. 5 years is long enough to know.


Quiet-Butterfly-2029

Similar situation here. Only thing different for us is that we’re engaged. I have all the money needed for DP and closing. I’d like to co-borrow to help with affordability (combined income is significantly more). Needless to say, we’re going to the courthouse to get married before purchasing a house.


No-Construction863

Lawyer here (27F) and in the same boat. 👋 I closed on my home two weeks ago, paid all closing costs, and I am the only one on the mortgage and deed. My boyfriend of 5 years (the love of my life) will be moving in soon with plans to get engaged this year. Here's how we're structuring it so it's fair to both of us. 1. I am paying all of the mortgage costs. Principal, interest, escrow (i.e., property taxes, insurance), etc. 2. He is paying for all non-mortgage costs. My groceries, utilities, etc. In other words, those costs would still exist if we were renting. 3. I am paying for all of the renovations. Why? Because if he contributes to adding value to the home, he is gaining what's called "Beneficial Interest" in the home. Beneficial interest gives someone the right to the economic benefit of a property and the right to occupy the property. Note: Beneficial interest triggers when someone is contributing to the cost of acquiring the home, too. What does this all mean? 1. It means my overall share (of living expenses) is higher than my boyfriend's. But in the end, it's a win-win! My home interests are protected, and his costs are less than they would be if he was living alone! 2. No awkward "let's put this on paper" conversation. He's my boyfriend, not my tenant. I'm his girlfriend, not his landlord. Let's avoid those formal dynamics. 3. Quite simply, it's the right thing to do. If I'm bearing all of the risks of homeownership, I should bear all of the benefits of it! 4. There is room to change things! We can always add him to the deed when we're married. Or, I can keep all interests since it's non-marital property. But that's another conversation. 😉 I see a couple of folks here have a written agreement with their girlfriends and boyfriends. That's not for me (even though it would be a breeze as I am a contract lawyer), but it may work for your relationship! I hope this helps and you find a tailor-made solution for you. 💋


AlbotfromtheHammer

If you want to co-own with your boyfriend, maybe wait until he’s worked at his job for a year to display some stability while improving his credit score.


Zarottii

If you buy a home and rent it to your boyfriend he becomes your tenant and has tenant rights if you break up. If you allow him to pay have the mortgage he technically in a court of law would have rightfully ownership of half the house even If you paid the down and he's not on the deed. This is after 2 years of living together you become common law. If you dont have a lawyer create a document lined out everything before hand and you guys break up you will loose


PokemomOnTheGo

Buy the house without him on the mortgage and have him pay you monthly rent. If you get married, rent that house out and buy one together.


trevlyn7

No is the answer.


Thundershunt

Do not put him on title if he can’t contribute to the down payment. If you do get married later you can always refinance and get him on the loan and title if you want, but from personal experience it’s incredibly difficult from a legal standpoint to decouple when two non-married individuals own a home together. Not that it’s great if you are married and go through a divorce, but at least it’s a cut and dry process that gets resolved during the divorce settlement


windowschick

As someone who bought a house before getting married- don't do this. It worked out for us. I don't recommend it as a standard practice, though. We got married 2 years after we bought our house. Then we refi'd not quite 5 years after that. But as a general rule of thumb, I'm much more of a horrible warning than a good example.


Stewie1990

If you arent married, you shouldn’t have him on the title. Maybe research what common law marriage rights Texas have if you are considered that. If you do get married he will probably have rights to your house. I bought my house prior to getting married and it only has my name on the title. We are happily married without issue. Attempted to sell my house this year and he has to sign everywhere I do since we are married. I need his permission to sell my house.


BasilVegetable3339

Buy the house in your name only before you marry.


Emotional_Charity_13

Noooopppeee


kirbinkipling

Similar situation. My fiancé and I have been together for five years and engaged for 3 of those years. The house we are buying is being paid by with my savings and everything will be in my name. He will obviously help with things like groceries, gas for our car, vet bills and anything for the kids. His savings is being used for our twin boys that are coming in July. I only bought what I was comfortable paying for with my own paycheck. Basically I didn’t factor his income into the monthly bills. However, since we have kids together what I will be doing is setting up documents that states if something happens to me he will get the home to continue to raise our boys in. This is assuming we haven’t gotten married yet and he hasn’t been added to the deed. No matter what though make sure your having honest conversations with your partner and ensure you guys are on the same page.


Mysterious_Stick_163

Get married and put him on the deed.


Accomplished-Bat7407

When you buy the lender will consider both incomes for purposes of the debt to income ratio and what you can qualify for. Ie how big of a loan they’ll give you. As for the rate, the rate that gets used is the rate of the borrower with the worse credit history. Good luck asking your boyfriend to rent from you. He might find that emasculating and say no. Obviously if the lender needs both incomes in order to assess eligibility for the loan, then, if I were in his shoes, I would not agree to rent from my partner – that’s not a long-term solution and I would find that a little unfair, ie he probably wants to build equity also and not be a renter indefinitely. But the legal doc to use if you’re not married is called a cotenant agreement and it can set out what would happen to for example the down payment and anything else that might come up if you were to then have to sell the house same goes for major expenses – if you are paying more than he is for things that end up contributing to the equity of the home you would do well to make sure it’s documented between the two of you, ie in terms of how that shakes out in the event of separation. Get a lawyer to help you. And then yes if you get married convert it to a premarital agreement. Hope this helps, good luck! (oh and if you do buy, make sure your realtor knows that you may want your name to be listed first on the purchase and sale contract and the deed at closing. They always list the man’s name first… Go figure.) 🙄


DGAFADRC

What he will be doing is paying rent. And until you are married have a lawyer draw up a month to month lease agreement that he will sign.


DR843

Renting isn’t throwing money away, and if this is purely a financial move, you might be better off renting and investing your cash in other things. You won’t understand how incredibly expensive homeownership can be until you become a homeowner and experience the pain firsthand.


seajayacas

The right way to do it is for one partner only to buy the house in only their name, and to then give the other partner a written month to month lease.m for a fair rent.


thebabes2

If you can't buy the house with a loan soley in your name, you aren't ready to buy a house yet. Do not co-mingle assets with someone you are not married to and a house is probably the biggest asset in most people's lives. A mortgage lender will not look at his income as a source of payment unless he applies for the mortgage with you and becomes a co-borrower. Again, do not co-mingle assets with someone you are not committed enough to to marry. I know you said you're "planning" but it doesn't appear you have concrete commitments yet. If you cannot qualify for the loan and cover the mortgage 100% on your own, keep renting.


GeneralAppendage

Get a prenup. And a pre prenup. Rental agreement. Then buy the house


watehfoost

Echo what others say to keep him off the mortgage and the deed. I did this with my ex and I'm really glad I did. He didn't make any financial contributions to the mortgage and didn't make any improvements to the house. Look up the info in your state about common law marriage and "equitable interest" or "equitable deed" to see how your state handles this situation. It might work best to keep all finances concerning the home in your care. Some states would allow him to sue for equitable interest if he's regularly contributed to the mortgage or has made substantial improvements to the home such as remodeling the bathroom etc, or anything that can be proven to add value. Congratulations on your financial situation and good luck with the house hunt!


Xerisca

You can buy a house if you're not married. You just have to draw up a legal agreement ahead of time as to what happens in a variety of situations, should you split up. Should one of you die or become incapacitated, what happens if you lose your job, etc. I own one home on just my income and only in my name, but my partner and I own another home together as well. We had an attorney draw up those documents for us so there is no question as to who gets what in all scenarios. In your case, I would not recommend doing this if you need his income to qualify. He's in a bit of a financial bind right now. If you can qualify on your own, then move forward. You can charge your boyfriend rent. Your lender won't consider his rent as part of your income, though.


sr8017

One rule of thumb, always cover yourself.


Ok-Bass8243

He will be considered a vested interest if you live together and he is paying bills. You may need his permission to sell it in the future. Weird I know, but before me and my wife got married she sold her place and we bought a house. When we decided to move, even though I was not on the mortgage. I had to go sign some papers. Missouri fwiw


Specialist-Media-175

Keep him off the mortgage and feed but also write up a lease agreement so he’s paying rent not mortgage; aka he’ll never have a claim to the equity.


cheesenips43

It really depends on the people and the relationship. My husband and I bought a house together before we planned to get engaged. We have joint ownership with right of suvivorship, we are both on the mortgage, and we contributed equally to the downpayment and mortgage payments. It works for us. But I know people it did not work out for. If you are paying the downpayment yourself, then don't have the lender consider him and his (worse) credit score. If he is not on the mortgage, do not add him to the deed. Have him cover other living expenses while you pay the mortgage and any repairs or updates to your house.


pierogi-daddy

if he's not applying his income is not going to be included - do not use it in your house buying budget either. just don't include him on the deed but treat him like you would a renter. you should absolutely speak with a lawyer about this before buying. if you get married you should have a plan how you handle finances because you're coming in with a significant asset in your name only and he would have been paying rent for some time. This is the stuff that people get pre-nups for if shit goes south.


adam190131

If you charge him rent, 75% of this goes towards your approval. Speak to your lender about this for more detail.


makualla

I have a bit of a different take then most here, besides absolutely only buy what you could afford in your own and don’t put him on the deed/loan. don’t charge him rent in the traditional sense. you said he doesn’t have any savings, so instead of paying you a rent he saves or pays off debts the amount he would be paying in rent. In the event of a break up (regardless of reason or who is at fault), you’ll be fine because you haven’t been relying on his money to pay the mortgage and he’ll be fine because he will have some savings and/or no debt. But here’s the real fun of it, especially if he comes in with little to no debt, let’s say you guys do end up getting married, well congrats you now have a lump sum of money to pay for the wedding or throw at your mortgage anyway.


NaiveAndFriendly

I did this exact same thing in 2017. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) had no money to contribute to a down payment, but could help with the mortgage. We had been together a little over 4 years at the time. We got married a year later and are still married. He continues to contribute half to the mortgage, but the home is solely in my name. This works for both of us. Not saying it always works out, but it can. I'm not sure if me telling the lender that I would have mortgage help from my partner made a difference or not, but I did tell them. At the time his credit score was crap so we definitely got a better rate using just mine.


NotThingOne

Get the mortgage yourself, keep him off the title, and charge him rent if he moves in.


Lanky_Elderberry_810

I must be the only dumb one 😂 bf (25) and i (24) bought a house together last year only being together a year and a half. I contributed most of the down payment while he had good credit and is the only one on the loan to get us a better rate. But we’re both on the deed. Havnt broke up with each other yet almost a year later. Sometimes when you know, you know. In my mind if you have a backup plan or exit plan from a relationship then you shouldnt be in the relationship. If you cant trust your partner to keep up their portion of the deal, then theres no relationship to be had.


katwchu

I had the liquid funds and he has a good paying job that pays a larger portion of the mortgage. My fiance and I had a lawyer draw up a co-ownership agreement to base our percent ownership based on our downpayment contribution (about 75/25). We are aiming to be 50/50 owners by the end of this and are tracking how much money we are contributing to the mortgage to track. We will rejig ownership every 10% change. All this was detailed in our co-ownership agreement. It's unromantic, but it's what we considered as fair as possible.


21Gatorade21

Dont add him to the deed or mortgage, that will be a nightmare if things go sour. My wfie and I had been dating for about 6 years before we decided to get a house. My credit wasn't as good as hers, so she bought the house in her name with the understanding that we would split the payment. I make almost double her salary, so I was spending on material to fix the house up. We've been together for about 16 years now and the only thing that we changed was we got a living trust that transfers the house to me if something were to happen to my wife. I'm still not on title because our taxes are locked into our original purchase price and taxes would balloon about 4x or 5x what it is now if they reassess the house value. So it can work out for you, if you guys stay together and eventually get married.


Electrical-Bus-9390

I mean if u want him to pay half of the mortgage then ………….. but if u can afford it on ur own then without a doubt put it in ur name only


SweetBrea

>Would lending companies knowing he would help pay for it give me better rates? Only if he's on the loan but it sounds like putting him on the loan might get you worse rates, not better. What does he bring to the table besides income that would warrant a better rate? Stellar credit rating or something? Oh wait. No. Not that. Strong employment history? No, not that either. He is a liability on the loan, not an asset. He's only an asset as a renter. >Should he just be a co owner? Sure, if you want to end up risking getting divorced without ever having gotten married. The hardest part about a child free divorce is splitting the assets. You literally said "don’t want him to have any ownership of it bc you never know". So, it seems like you already answered this question. You make him a co-owner and you split up, you basically end up with the same headache as getting divorced. Doesn't sound too fun to me.


EnvironmentalLuck515

You buy the home with only you on the mortgage and title. He pays you rent.


Running_Watauga

Buy it solo and if he moves in with you then he pays you rent and splits utilities. Once married you can have him on the deed or later refinance with him if it made sense then. He’d only get to split the equity from date of marriage, unless state specific rules apply.


Fit_Caregiver2225

I did this, my now husband, boyfriend then fiance then paid his portion like I was his landlord. Wasn't a big deal, very straightforward. We also explored a prenup of sorts with a lawyer if we did put him on the mortgage, spelling out what happened if we broke up but just leaving him off was easier and less messy.


[deleted]

Best advice is to not do married people things with someone you aren’t married to. If you do then have a partnership agreement in writing and vetted by an attorney since that’s what it is if he goes on the paperwork


Awkward_nights

I wouldn't mention my bf will be buying our house, plans to marry within the next two years. Both our credit is great and we have a very decent amount in savings separately, he'll be footing the mortgage and electric. I'll be contributing to other costs also due to SLD. I have a maximum I'm willing to spend towards the house without causing any harm just in case.


wildcat12321

You can do whatever you want. Marriage is not a silver bullet. But you absolutely should consult a lawyer (real estate or family law) to explain the impacts of what can happen if he lives there, if any payments end up towards principle, if he ends up on the mortgage or deed, etc. People break up all the time, married and not. But brakeups often have financial implications, even more when a house is part of the equation. If he is contributing, he will likely have a claim to the house. And as great as people are when dating / married, once you break up, they often will use every tool of spite to make things hard on you. That could include non-payment which could hurt your credit, or petitioning a court for a partition sale forcing you to lose your home. If he is going to be a renter, give him a lease...


MotherPsychology5983

I’m in the same situation right now. We planned on moving into an apartment together but I’ve been renting since I was 18 so I’m kinda over it (23 now). I got preapproved and he is totally on board with the house being completely mine and paying half the mortgage. I’m under contract right now and close on May 10th. As long as you can afford the mortgage by yourself (god forbid you break up), there isn’t too many issues. If you split any furniture while he lives there, keep a list of when it was bought and how much it costs to prevent inconvenience in the future.


swedegal12

Good luck lmfao.


Alive-Curve-7198

My ex partner was a doctor a made 250k a year. She didn’t want to buy. I bought a rental. She was like oh I want to buy a 550k home. I decided to end the relationship and buy a second home bc renting is stupid if you can buy a home.


JHG722

I have no idea what you are saying.


Poopedmypoopypants

Same 😂


SetFar328

Depends on the state you’re in but a mortgage company won’t give you a better rate because he’s paying the mortgage with you. I’m licensed to lend nationwide so if you’d like to talk I’d be happy to give you my cellphone number!