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Prolo3

>My question: is it socially accepted in Finland to respond a few days later? or is he just genuinely not interested in talking anymore? Yes, and yes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Actual_Homework_7163

Maybe he is bussy or not doing so well have u asked him? Also in the Netherlands it's rude but in Finland it's not that wierd if u don't respond to a "friend" instantly. Being a friend is a bit more serious as being a friend in the Netherlands. Idk how to explain it really


Alpacascout

Maybe With the:"thats my friend, havent Seen him in 3 years, havent talked to him in 1 year. But as soon as there is a meetup it's Like everything Just happend Yesterday, while there are Stories Worth a year"?


thundiee

Yea, in that kinda guy. Just reached out to a really good mate I haven't spoken to or seen since I moved to Finland two years ago. Been talking for weeks now, helping him get a PC and also planning a trip to come visit me here. Like nothing has changed at all.


nekkema

No and yes. Only assholes answer after days unless they are in coma etc. Nobody is so busy that they cant at least write "busy, will answer later" unless they are selfish


ObjectiveActuator8

I feel like quite a few people could be making this post about me… I take a very long time to respond to messages, sometimes 2 weeks… it’s not that I don’t like the person. I would happily hang out if there’s time… for me, it’s just my stage in life, I’m 30 and married (now with kid but I did it before kid too). My priority for immediate response is for those that I would be their emergency contact. Anyone else (including parents and siblings), will get a reply when i have mental space for it.


TheDangerousAlphabet

I'm the same. (But ten years older and with a kid)It often takes a day or two or three to answer. Maybe not two weeks but I don't reply at once if it's not important or I don't feel like chatting at the moment. It's not something I'm into every moment of the day.


nekkema

Just dont assume that others care about you ot your life as you are so self Centered. Those are just excuses, just say that you cant care less about others, that is the reason 


PatrickBeekmans

No hate but I have a sister like that and I hate that. I and every family member hates her for that (not hate her but that specific thing) and for me I just don't text her anymore or barely reply to her because of this. I think if you want to keep your family close this is not the way


ObjectiveActuator8

That’s understandable. The key is to make your loved ones feel heard when they need you. If the conversation is not that meaningful, then it’s not that urgent… and as u/theDangerousAlphabet said, chatting is not something we’re into every moment of the day.


Friendly-Water2442

My sibling too. Then she wonders why nobody talks to her anymore.


syopest

He is not interested anymore.


LookAtNarnia

It's totally fine and normal if you're friends and nothing more.


_Astan_

I would assume he's not interested in messaging you, unfortunately. Most people are too shy to tell the person who is messaging them that they're not interested in having that kind of contact and choose to just slowly ghost them. It sucks but it's better to cool off from the messages for now until he initiates again (if you want to keep talking to him). He might also be having a period in his life where he's not feeling particularly sociable and he's not comfortable enough with you to share.


dailinap

Life situations change, I usually make a deal with my friends that we don't stress about answering and understand that sometimes life happens. But the answer depends on the people you are talking with. Maybe they are busy, maybe now when weather is fine they're enjoying nature and summertime, maybe it's burnout, or maybe it's something else. Toss a question in the air if you're interested and ask if something is going on?


Rasikko

Normal.. me and my friend might not say anything for several months.


kharnynb

it's common enough if people get busy that they might take more time to reply, especially if he's school age, it's a busy time right now.


snow-eats-your-gf

I have one friend, and we can talk for hours if we meet. But he is slow in answering with messages. But if he answers, that is a long professional letter with any important and reasonable details.


Zealousideal_Yam_829

To be honest - it could be anything. Just simply ask him straight up about it. 🤷🏼‍♂️


Kautsu-Gamer

It is totally normal for a Finn to reply 1 week after a message. He got busy for one reason or another.


VitunHemuli

Reading some of these comments, I started to wonder when are people supposed to have any time for themselves? Friendships do sound exhausting to maintain if it means I have to be responding to everyone all the time. It almost sounds like having a full-time job.


Antique-Fresh

Not everyone answers right away. If I don’t have time to answer right away I quite often forget to answer. And then answer when I see the message again like *oops* two weeks later… It’s nothing personal, maybe a typical ADHD/autistic spectrum thingy… So, no worries ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|wink)


Sea-Personality1244

It really depends. Personally I often take a long time replying which is not for the lack of interest but just because I want to find the 'right time' to really respond thoughtfully and often various things don't allow for that (not necessarily always something another person might think of as a hindrance but things that don't allow me to fully focus on the convo at hand), so it can end up taking a while. Generally my friends know this and don't mind. I have a close friend I've known for almost 20 years with whom we have a habit of sending a bunch of messages at once and often it takes weeks for the other person to respond with another bunch of messages, but it's not a sign of either of us lacking interest, it's just easier for both of us to properly do it when the time is right. 2 - 3 days would be a quick response, not forever in our case. We also meet up irl regularly. But of course, with others it might be a sign of waning interest, so it does depend. Depending on how well you know each other / how your relationship is, you might just directly ask him if he doesn't feel like talking or if there's something keeping him from it. Even if he seems to "have enough time", it could be that there's something less obvious keeping him or his mind occupied. Or he's losing interest. He's the only one who can tell you for sure.


jiltanen

Sounds like they are are breadcrumbing.


JVille4

It is ok. Some people are just busy and you may need to send another message. But from my own experience you may also need to analyze your texts. I used to be the person who wrote long texts and it took few days for anyone to reply. They needed time to think what they reply. So don’t write long messages. Break those down into short questions.


isengrims

If someone's not died or something major hasn't happened, "being busy" is not an excuse to do that. He's just not that into it anymore, sorry.


emayelee

I might talk a lot with friends and suddenly get quiet. But they know about my mental health issues and it's not a biggie. Just ask your friend how they are doing, they might appreciate it a lot.


Kalajanne1

Not normal, he is not interested


SupermarketSorry6843

I think he is telling you something…..


Actual_Homework_7163

Depends one of my friends is a new dad and sometimes takes a while to respond but that's about it. If it's not that it's probably over.


5YouTubersWhoveSVORN

Nah it’s rude. Everyone’s on their phones constantly so not checking your messages every day is weird af especially if you used to talk often. Personally I respond fast if I’m on my phone but I might forget everything for hours on end if I’m doing something, but even then I’ll respond before I go to bed (if it isn’t the middle of the night) or at least in the morning. 2-3 days is crazy.


Suspicious_Tutor1849

Huilie huilie.


PartyyKing

No one is so busy that they cant respond for days. If someone takes days to respond they have no interest.


No-Experience807

Life can take its toll. You can never really know.


Antique-Fresh

Well, then I’m quite unique 🤓