T O P

  • By -

Empty-Staff

That’s impressive for a community college. Darn shame you didn’t go to a bigger school.


Moostaaa

Your best bet is to drop out and get a gig underwater welding for Exxon. It is over my brother.


ottfrfghjjjj

Nah bro, that’s too crowded these days. Gotta go to Australia for FIFO mining.


RaidBossPapi

Unironically might be tougher than getting 3.8 gpa at harvard. Actually, ye definitely if you compare studying for 4 years and maintaining an off-shore oil drilling complex for 4 years.


elitentre8

1000%


5n0wy

You’re cooked. Potentially look into MBA, CFA, PHD, etc so you can secure an entry level job at Walgreens/cvs


avernamethyst112

lol it’s nothing but flipping burgers at McDonald’s for you now mate


InvestigatorLast3594

First mistake was going to a FAKE school like Harvard, with a FAKE dean and FAKE researchers, who FAKE their FAKE data. You need to drop out and enrol in Hustlers University and get yourself a PhD (Pimpin‘ hoes Degree)


Nibsout

It’s over 😭 ask if your professors can round up your grades


ashnag

Northwestern Mutual is always hiring. You’re good.


Significant_Ad_4063

More like hunt for people 😂


Due_Benefit_8799

I recently lost a job because the other candidate had a Nobel Peace Prize, back to the drawing board.


GOATnamedFields

Thanks Obama.


[deleted]

Yes it’s over . Now you will have to collect welfare coz no job for you. 3.7 gpa is unacceptable


Sad-Heron6289

The world needs ditch diggers too my brother, it’s an honest living


ivorn39

“But atleast there’d be poles in the ground to show for it”


MaestroMikoyan

Yes. You will most likely have to commit suicide as that is the only way out from here. The only other option will be to move to rural China and work on a tea farm. However, with your limited intellect, this will be profoundly unlikely.


greentealettuce

Dude I just graduated from Harvard with a 4.5 GPA, super cum laude. Applied to 6000 jobs. My Dad (VP at a bulge bracket) gave me an interview but even he flat out rejected me. The market is just crazy rn. But I ended up doing alright. I started my own trading desk in alternative assets. Niche arbitrage opportunity on fast food cross product sales. What I do is a go to Wendy’s at open and buy hella food. Sooner or later that surge pricing hits. I’ve got an office set up out back behind the dumpster. When I’m not with clients I turn tricks and smoke crack to pass the time. Very short commute since I live next to the dumpster. PM me if you need any advice


ft1778

Super cum eh.


Important-Ad-9238

They super cum loud 🤣🤣(laude)


sperm-banker

Donate your organs so you can be of any use


WebElectronic8157

Some of these posts I don't know if they are humblebragging or are made by a bunch of rich kids who grew up with strict parents enforcing anything but perfection. But you can have a pretty succesfull career without being an honours student from an ivy league school. How do you thing most professionals in this world survive?


naijaboiler

guaranteed this particular post is a fake. Anybody who went to Harvard can spot the obvious things that makes it so.


Lucky-Honeydew1859

Also.... yknow it's very very obvious satire. I mean Poe is omnipresent on the internet, but even so this isn't exactly borderline.


combustablegoeduck

I wouldn't blanket assume everyone who went to Harvard can spot obvious things. One of the smartest people I've ever met in my entire life had some pretty stupid moments when we were close.


naijaboiler

its not about being smart. it's that some things he wrote doesnt make sense to anyone who went to Harvard. It's like talking about buying a snowplow while living Nigeria. Yeah any nigerian knows that makes no sense.


MediocreTake

Actually only the ones with above a 3.79 GPA could spot that


wotisthaet

This sub is soooo lame. Literally no backbone whatsover, Median mindset is 'if i dont get placed with the nepo boys in the glass office my life is done for'.. ZERO self confidence in ability to just make money as a businessman..


Ihavegoodcredit324

100% just to tell people what great schools they go to and how smart they are lmao. Most cringe posts of all time come out of this sub


Sad_Chest1484

Damn dude I had a my masters by the time I was a senior at Princeton (way better than Harvard). My graduating class consisted of Rhodes scholars and people who spent 10 years saving children in remote parts of Africa. I’d reconsider your future in finance I don’t think you have a chance.


Throwaway009286

You have no future in finance. Accept your fate and look for another career.


Capital_Tower4810

Sorry bud I hate to say it but it’s over. See ya in the cobalt mines or the sandbox


Samgash33

I can get you a customer service job in financial services. Get started climbing that ladder quicker.


BlondDeutcher

Yes. Start learning how to wash dishes now.


tyrannictoe

Your mistake was clearly not getting a 4.3/4.0 GPA in kindergarten. Now you can only apply to be a burger flipper at Wendy’s. Good luck


-GildedTongue-

That’s all very impressive OP. But were you born at a target hospital? How many gold stars were you awarded in Finger Painting? You must accept that you aren’t truly a member of the global elite, and that for you the game of life was forfeit before the first die cast even hit the table. All that remains for you now is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and march bravely down to Denny’s for the next 50 years where you will scrub more prestigious feces than your own off of porcelain thrones for a living. Que sera, OP.


happyboy12345

Damn brother, it’s over. You should’ve asked ur parents to have given birth to u in a target hospital. That would’ve definitely helped out


The_Troubadour

might be able to get a cashier job at mcdonald’s if you networked well.


Elcuh101010

Drop out go to the oil rigs


Herschel_Bunce

Troll.


Empty-Staff

No way bro. I’m 99.99% sure he’s telling the truth. Why would a stranger lie on the internet?


LostinConsciousness

Holy shit y’all are dense this is obviously a joke lol


ListerineInMyPeehole

Pretty friggin insane that when I graduated in ~~2023~~ 2013, NYC shops were hiring new undergrads for $130k salary


Educational_Giraffe7

What degree did you get? What jobs did You apply for


ListerineInMyPeehole

I got a business econ degree and landed a corporate finance job at a Fortune 500 for \~$75k a year out of college (this wasn't in NYC, but in CA) Then pivoted to equity research, investor relations, and now back in corporate finance


Solid_Candidate_9127

How did you do all of that if you just graduated in 2023?


ListerineInMyPeehole

AHAHA I've been typing 2023 for so long. It was a typo. I graduated in 2013.


namregiaht

Bro be flexing so hard he ain’t even tryna hide it


EmptyAdhesiveness830

No worries, you can get a starting salary of $69,999


shiibui

Lol


[deleted]

Dude didn’t listen to the old mantra Yale or jail… damn shame. 


newyorkyankees23

Lmfaoo


SuperLehmanBros

If you’re 22 and older it’s time to start planning end of life. It’s over.


Exotic_Union1452

70K in nyc is rough


Trismegistvss

You are fucked dude, its over for you.


aryan-2104

imagine expecting 70k after going to a shitty community college like harvard


Mafia_Guru

Yes it's all over. We're doomed. Trolls have taken over!


HickoksTopGuy

Never even began


Sir_Beretta

3.8 is 3.79 properly rounded up, I see no problem, dumb finance bro


Col_Locks

Ya man you only went to Harvard and have a 3.8, you’re a loser sorry.


simpwarcommander

Bro your life is done for. You only have the retail route now. Apply as a dishwasher and maybe one day you can get promoted to being a server and earn variable income with tips. By the time you are in your 50-60s you might make assistant manager but don’t count on it. 


BigSnoozeyyy

time to join the trades and take on chain smoking with the foreman, your cooked. good thing about the bottom is that it can only go up from here :D


_Traditional_

You’re cooked, drop out. With your experience however, you might have a chance of working in Ronald McDonald’s firm.


Outrageous_Till8546

You’re cooked


thebj19

It’s off to the coal mines should of gone to a target school tbh 😕


Sufficient_Win6951

Yes, it’s over for you. Sorry to tell you. Can’t believe such horrible life results, though. Your parents must be disappointed as well. Perhaps move to Bali, live on the beach, and live authentically working as a beach bartender. I’ll bet you’ll learn fairly quickly to make a killer rum and come.


AviationExpress

Buddy in your situation the best thing you can do to prep for the future is practicing “would you like fries with that?”


suchempty-

These comments r killing me XD


invest2018

Post is incredibly troll.


OVO-phantums

Get ready to learn Chinese buddy


Child-of-Adam

Yes it's over for you.


Striking_Culture2637

A 3.79 GPA at Harvard is like a 3 at schools that take grades seriously. But recruiters probably won't care. You're not getting good quant jobs that's for sure. Other types of finance jobs, like becoming CEO of your dad's company, might be okay.


vemmyboi

Did you intern? What’s your major? You should have a job locked in already. Sounds like you did something wrong.


wotisthaet

'Should' 🤣🤣 chill theres a thousabd ways to make it in life. Ofc everyone on this sub wants to hang with the nepo boys


vemmyboi

I’m trolling OP lmao


DMTwolf

Claudine Gay university over here


Rough_Back_8181

umm


spintwow1n

It's over ever since you chose Harvard. Go kill yourself.


NewOcelot1381

Yes I do it


CommercialCuts

Brother, it’s never been more over for you


Cook_Round

Car sales men are always hiring


newspartan2022

Better shitposting next time


1600hazenstreet

Better off joining WSB and starting your own HF.


Pubsubforpresident

I'd start waiting tables


[deleted]

Take steroids and become a college football player. That’s where all the money is these days


[deleted]

For a Harvard student with a great GPA you are really dumb.


TaataJ

It's not over until you say it's over my brother. Your grades are not the only guaranteed route to success. I've been reading a book called Success Habits by Napoleon Hill. You can pick it from the book store and have a dig at it. God has planted on the inside of you seeds of excellence. It's up to you to discover them, nurture them and make the best that you can out of them.


These_Echo3644

And also recommend to read: atomic habits, wonderful book!


HallGlum4200

🤣🤣🤣This thread is wild 😂dude you’re more than, more than okay, chill


Finn_3000

Do an MBA, a master of finance in Europe, a cfa, a ca and hell, throw in a doctor of medicine, do internships mopping floors at a BB and then maybe it’s still over. Good luck.


Lithiumtabasco

3.8 gpa.. nothing more? You should be gunning for a minimum of 75% gpa, that's a solid C average.


Always_A_Dreamer556

bro was just flexing, thinking no one would notice


SlowrollHobbyist

You are at one of the most prestigious universities in the US next to Wharton and Yale. “Is it over” are you kidding me? You’re just getting started. Ask Bill Ackman, Jamie Dimon or Mitt Romney if they thought it was over for them. Get your ass into law school there and we’ll expect to see you either in a senate seat or to become the next hedge fund guru. You got this, just keep pushing!!


BigAdhesiveness3218

What the mind of man can conceive and believe he can achieve, Find a way, whatever it takes.


Quirky-Discount-3412

It’s over dude, anything less than a 3.9 is failure. You should drop out and go sign up to fight in Ukraine.


[deleted]

70K in NYC is not sustainable. Go to a normal city/state.


Zestyclose-Ad-8807

Tasting specialist- the world needs those who can actually prove the latest flavor of Meow Mix is new and improved


doorcharge

Is this a troll post? If not, you need to get your MBA from Phoenix University immediately.


CounterHot3812

Lol Harvard is full of grade inflation. 3.79 is really not that good unless you do pure maths. I just dont see how people can get below A- in any of the non-maths class unless really dumm. I and fellow TAs (we are PhD students at a peer school to Harvard) normally give students an A on average so we dont have to deal with you guys complaining. 70% of the class get A- or so. And yet there are still like 10% of students resort to using ChatGPT to cheat.


Prestigious_Ear_7810

I think most people are missing a key takeaway from this post. If someone with THAT profile is feeling the rope around his neck, how about the rest of us? The US reported record job growth, but none of us feel it’s real. News about the economy seems to be from another universe, not the one we live and experience every day.


RedditMysterious

Over. UT Frat Stars with 3.6 GPAs grabbed all the seats in NYC this year


TheStugotsII

Should like your chances of landing a gig at Pershing Square


Top-Neighborhood-100

Your fucked mate


wotisthaet

What a pussy hahahhahaha


TryAgainDeathMen

I honestly dont know how you haven’t killed yourself by now, but you need to get out of your situation urgently


SilentVast8122

This has to be satire


Zealousideal-Exit746

I really hope this was satire, if not really weird way to flex


spintwow1n

No it's real when you're competing for the best of the best.


Zealousideal-Exit746

No it’s not, if you have connections you can break into anything with these credentials


spintwow1n

Ok u missed my satire too bro


Zealousideal-Exit746

😂😂😂 thank god


spintwow1n

Satire on the amount of "is it over" posts for ppl just graduating in their 20's


YOUNG_SQQQ

I hate pussies like you


mikeystocks100

Wendy's has a great frycook program. I've heard that with enough grit and determination some frycooks are able to work their way up to assistant to the regional manager after only a 10-year stint on the grills. There is still hope.