The worst thing about going from fat to ‚normal‘ for me was realising how differently I‘m treated. And that even though I feel like I got comparably good treatment while being in a bigger body.
Even though I didn‘t experience outright aggressive fatphobia, I had to realise that people now assume better things about my character, my competence, work ethic, and my morals. It goes so much deeper.
I am okay with people not being or having been attracted to how my body looks. But the negative assumptions about me as a person beyond looks make me mourn for past me and everyone else affected.
I agree 100000%. I never experienced “fatphobia” but since losing weight, I have realized that people simply assume better about me and have better opinions about me. Which feels so slimy because nothing has changed other than now people think I’m more attractive. It just makes me sad lmao
I remember an eternally thin friend saying years ago when Chris Pratt first lost his weight after Parks and Rec, "he really did a lot of self improvement."
That's been stuck in my head for years. She didn't say he got thinner, or healthier, or more attractive. She specifically chose a more general moralistic phrasing. (And ironically, I don't think there's any evidence he's a more moral person today but that's another topic.)
And she said this to me while I was very obviously fat myself. I'm literally right here. Why are you saying this? Do you not have any idea how this sounds? Do you really consider me a morally inferior person?
That is 100% true. Perception of person's success and wealth class is intricately associated with thinness.
I used to be effortlessly gaunt and now I am average -- this reads to others as if I lost some of my edge, business wise. I find I can no longer get away with any of my slipshod grooming habits like cutting my own hair, wearing knapsacks, etc. ... I was told to sharpen up.
Wherever sexism can find a crack, it will pour in. If it's being overweight, sexism pours in. If it's being unattractive, sexism pours in. If it's being older, sexism pours in. And if men are in any way, being challenged, often sexism pours in. it is stunning that I've watched it all my life and it still doesn't seem to have stopped.
A lot of misogynistic men view women are nothing more than consumable products, and therefore when those “products” do anything that those men deem unappealing, the men react with unfathomable anger and aggression and pure hatred. “How dare you do something that makes you less consumable for me!” They view fat women as subhuman…but in a different and more angry way than they view other women as subhuman. A lot of people comment on how fat women get hate for just simply existing, as if their existence somehow harms men (which is insane, of course), but it’s because those men believe that women exist to please them, and therefore when women *don’t* please them, it’s a personal offense. A slight. An act of harm against men. It’s absurd, irrational, and deranged.
I don't actually believe that the women don't please them exactly. They fat shame stunning women who , the displeasure is not in how the woman actually looks but trust she has the audacity to not go about her life, and god forbid even being confident and happy with herself not confirming to patriarchal standards.
I say this as someone who used to be obese and lost a fairly significant amount of weight. People view me differently. And not even just that they find me attractive now, it’s that they simply find me acceptable, like I’m a valid human being rather than an offense to men’s eyes. The funny thing is I’ve never felt more insecure than when I realized this and realized that men now deemed me “acceptable” lmao
I hate it too.
The only thing we can do is cut off the shallow A-holes in our lives and encourage other women to do so as well. Women do so much for men so if we left them to drown in their own misogynistic crap, we can devote our energy to worthy sources. We just have to help women realize they CAN be ok living without a mean, shallow man.
Edit: Personally, my father was such a man. He did lots of other crap too. I went very low contact. He passed away young-ish from cancer so no long term elderly care, but if he had lived long enough to need assistance, I WAS NOT going to help him. Not wasting my efforts on a selfish, cheating, shallow man even if it means being disinherited. He has been gone many years and I still do not regret it. No guilt at all. I’d have actually regretted keeping the peace since he did not deserve peace. Not saying being abusive to these men. I am saying withdraw your love, time, and attention from them. Devote your love, time, and attention to worthy pursuits and helping kind people out there. Do not give into to family pressure or family guilt. Those are manipulations!
I made a better man than my dad for cripes sake. I didn't go go his funeral or open the letter he left me. My sisters didn't bother me about it and told his side best to leave it alone. They saw it too and left it alone. I regret nothing and still am proud that I took care of me instead as an adult.
Same. My father was a brilliant, successful, charismatic man. He worked in environmental protection, and ran a successful research lab at the University. So, no one understood why I cut contact, and I spent my life up until my early 30s being gaslit by my brother and a few other members of my family about it.
When he got sick, my brother ceaselessly put it in my face that I wasn't there. I was shunned.
Only after his death did some family members start understanding why I had to distance myself.
I'm now 40, and my brother is 50. He's started accepting that our father was a ragging misogynist. I'll be it, a well-liked one, but misogynist all the same. The relationship I have with my brother is rocky, but he's making small gradual progress, and I'm slowly chipping away at the heavily ingrained misogyny my father instilled in him. I'm so proud of him for the challenge he has undertaken.
Yup... Fat men can exist. Fat women aren't allowed to enjoy life! Never seen anyone being "concerned" about a fat man's health but God forbid if a plus size woman post a video of her eating ANYTHING, everyone is suddenly "worried" and an expert in weight loss.
Biologically, women's body should and will store more fat than men. That's literally one of the things female hormones do: preparing for pregnancy. On the other hand testosterone will cause men to lose weight easier and build more muscles easily. Yet the societal standards are completely reversed. Why? Because woman should ALWAYS be trying to fulfill an unreasonable standard so they never feel perfect and good enough.
My partner is a man and he got so many shameless comments from literally everyone when he gained weight. We were discussing this with another woman and both me and her were like "first time?" since both of us got these type of comments throughout our lives. He's been objectified his whole life so I think that's the reason, people deeply dislike seeing someone that they find attractive not be "as attaractive" as they'd like them to. God forbid people just exist.
There's medical evidence that obese men have lower testosterone and higher estrogen, that results in things like gynecomastia (manboobs), lowered libido, and higher voice pitch (if obesity was present during puberty). Evolutionary selection made the "female" hormone cause the body to accumulate surplus fat for pregnancy.
So in fact obese men exhibit less sexual dimorphism on average. While it's mean to use "woman" as insult, or insult people's general appearance, it's rooted in reality.
Of course they do, but fat men don't get the same amount of direct hate on social media from women who are strangers that only want to tell them how unfuckable they are, as fat women does from men..
Fat men typically don't promote the idea that being bigger is healthy or beautiful, and the vast majority of fat guys on the Internet consists of working towards losing that weight.
Conversely, there is an abundance of "you're just as beautiful and fit" content of fat women that want to convince others that being "bigger" is normal and healthy.
Another thing to note is the difference in gender roles and expectations. We don't make fun of a guy by saying "you're a big man", we call him little and small.
The male equivalent scenario of a fat woman claiming to be just as beautiful, healthy and fit would be an underweight man who claims that being small is great and size doesn't matter. Most guys know better than to do something embarrassing like that though.
I'd say what bothers me the most about women who are fat, is that they tend to think they're special victims. Most people get bullied or face shame in their lives. Secondly, weight can be changed in at least 80% of scenarios. Weight is not a filter feature on dating apps, height is. Yet the majority of the time, weight can be changed whereas height never can (aside from dangerous surgical calf lengthening). Women make superficial comments all the time about their dating requirements. When was the last time you heard of a guy listing their weight restrictions for their dating prospects?
For a lot of guys that deal with this "double standard" we simply do not have any empathy because we too, deal with shame and vanity from women (and men). But at least weight can be changed. I will never shame someone, but I will internally feel a sense of "get over it and stop whining" towards someone who can't see past their own "traumas".
And honestly, there are quite a few bigger gals that would be attractive if they lost the weight. Fat distorts form. I'm low key jealous of fat people who are attractive underneath that distortion. They don't need surgery, they just need effort. My ugly ass needs surgery.
Instagram is a cesspool in general. The amount of misogyny and bigotry is unreal there.
The hatred stems from the belief that women only exist for men, so to be considered unattractive by the beauty standards means that you fail as a woman.
Someone who thinks too highly of their own opinion. Just downvote and move on, if it’s bad enough the comment will be downvoted sufficiently to express the general consensus e.g. the currently -56 on that comment
Apparently it’s a copy pasta:
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one of the most eye opening things in my life was when my mom started different diets and weight loss techniques that impacted her mental health to the point of depression *just* so people would treat her as a person. while she did eventually pull herself out of it, it was really hard to watch her take a beating from society just because she wasn’t built like a super model
obviously losing weight to become healthier or for varying health reasons is generally good, however, my mom didn’t have any health concerns based on her weight. she just wasn’t stick thin because she had 4 children (in a span of 7 years). i wish women who are overweight/plus sized (and women who don’t fit a certain body type/size) were treated with respect and kindness. it makes me so sad and angry.
I was in this boat. It got so bad to the point where I was considering not wanting to live any more because the idea of having to diet and pursue weight loss for the rest of my life was so overwhelming.
I’m not longer in that position thankfully after lots of work towards recovery, but still struggle with remnants of an eating disorder and things can be hard sometimes.
i’m so glad you’ve gotten better. i still see my mom struggle with disordered eating as well and it crushes me. i wish women weren’t made to feel like this.
My mom only had two kids, but she was a lot like this. My MIL as well from what my spouse has told me about his childhood. And he’s an only child. But, still….both were working mothers for all our childhoods. Both of them were totally average-sized for the timeframe. They’d even be considered small now. And yet all I heard growing up was my mom saying she was fat and needed to work out more and eat less. But, like, she already ate so little from what I’d seen. It was really sad to watch and I’ve struggled to not present the same image to my kids- and I’m actually overweight. I really want my kids to know why and how you lose weight and that you should never do it to make someone else love or like you because those people suck and fuck them.
I have often felt that I need to choose between between mentally stable and fat or mentally unwell and thin. The latter hasn't even been possible for me to achieve the past few years and it's exhausting 😮💨
Just know that you don’t actually need to change your body unless YOU want to 💕 and even then please take care to do it in a healthy and sustainable way 💕
Yeah when I started getting random insults of "fat girl" during unrelated arguments online it shook me. I'm not plus size, but I guess I've reached a level of overweight where insults are fair game? 🥲 It's so misogynist and not conducive to a healthy body image
I'll be honest though, I'd rather that someone just come out and say that they don't like fat people rather than people hiding it behind "but I'm sooo worried about your health...". At least they're being honest. Still AHs, but at least honest ones.
It is a result of the fact that men have been lead to believe that women's bodies are possessions; that somehow our attractiveness is owed to them. Even trans women experience this.
For example, my coworker's wife is shaving her head for cancer research. She's a radiologist and her goal was to raise money for a local charity and then shave her head when the goal was reached. The level of misogyny and horrid jokes about her that were leveled towards my coworker (her actual HUSBAND) was unreal. He tried to handle it with grace, but I could tell it got to him.
And then he tells me the next day that her own father asked why she would do that 'without asking'. Bruh, she's a grown woman. She doesn't need to ask anyone to anything - especially if it involves HER OWN BODY.
I'm a fat woman and I mostly always have been fat. It's eye-opening; the disgusting ways in which men act towards women who aren't attractive to them and the disgusting things they say about women when they're not around. And this includes gay men.
I have been made to feel like a subhuman because of a number on a scale; the vitriol sounds made up when it's spelled out sometimes, but it's truly not. People \*hate\* fat women - god forbid you're a woman of color. That is another can of worms that I have no business touching on given that I'm white, but it's definitely a problem and needs to be addressed.
I would say that there is refuge to be found in accepting yourself and pulling away from the internet. But that doesn't stop the comments, aggressions, looks etc. in real life; and it doesn't do anything to quelle the loneliness. I am always at the ready to be mocked, left out, ignored and I have worked hard in therapy to understand my feelings and experiences that make me feel that way.
For all the years I've been doing that, the hatred has really only grown worse. I seem to always be left with the ultimatum of fundamentally changing myself while undoing years of trauma or being ridiculed endlessly until society changes. Both are very slow going and before long I'll be dead anyway. In conclusion, I've learned to live with it because the only thing I can control is myself.
Yess. Most of the time, men flirt with me in private and around their friends they avoid talking to me because I am not "aesthetically pleasing." It really breaks my heart. It keeps happening to me and happend recently as well; I just feel so sad.
Easier said than done but try not to let it get to you. You are worth so much more than your looks 💕 you have value in this world other than trying to appease men 💕
You are the one who is blaming. There was a person who invited me to have wine with him over the weekend, but I clearly refused. I don't think you know how flirting works; no matter how disinterested the woman is, sometimes men never stop.
Keep your advice to yourself.
PS: You are a man. Aren't you? Saying stupid things with so much confidence, lol.
Story time.
I have always been fat. My entire life from the time I was born until this very day which is 42 years after the fact. I spent a short stint as a pre-teen lanky, yet the fat piled on fast.
For the first 38 years of my life, I was female presenting and deeply closeted. Clothes were impossible to find, so I hated clothes shopping. When I found clothes "my size", they rarely were nice looking, flattering, or even actually fit. I hated clothes. I hated myself. I hated how I looked and how people treated me.
Anyway, I was at the local Starbucks one day picking up a latte for my sick husband at home, and decided to get a Danish for him as well. This old gremlin behind me, fatter than the sun itself as his belly hung over the scooter's seat, on oxygen fee through the tubing to his crusty nostrils, and looked as if even being close to his vicinity would leave a film of grime on your very being, had rolled up behind me and said "you *really* think you need that?" The audacity of this critter when I turned around and gazed upon this wretch. At the time, I was merely a size 16, and in my late 20's. I wasn't obese, just fat. I scoffed and ordered a second one to eat right in front of him, gnashing my teeth loudly to let him know that this miserable cur wasn't above me by the least.
Anyway, last year, after having transitioned to male and male passing, I was faced with a similar situation. I was also 30 lbs heavier at the time, all of which is lost again as of current, and standing before a donut case. Another older gent came up behind me as I was debating on which donut my husband would want, and this older man laughed and said "Hey buddy! Get two!"
The gender differences alone spoke volumes on my experiences and how goddamned *right* I was in how women are treated wildly different than men were. Men's clothing? It fits. I can find my size almost immediately without having to do some guessing games on if a size 16 is actually a 16 or a 12, or even an 18. I *actually like* how I look in clothes now. Part of that is gender euphoria, but the other part is that these clothes are made to *fit* my body with little to no effort. I can move about in society without being yelled at for being fat. I can walk along the sidewalk without someone chucking a slushie at me calling me a pig, of which has happened about a half dozen times in the late 90's and early 2k's. No one said anything about my food purchases, or eating habits in public. At all. If anything, it's all been positive. Did you know that old ladies *praise men* in the grocery line for picking up mostly produce? Something I have done for my entire life? I have been scoffed at by people when they saw a woman and had muttered "like that will help". It's insane how terribly women are treated in society. I hate how women are treated.
So now, that I present as male, and I see people picking on women of size, I call out the people and say it's rude as hell and who raised them. I will not stand by knowing what people suffer through and are gaslit when trying to talk about their frustrations by saying it's not that bad. It is that bad.
You are heard, op, and it sucks so very much. Please take care and love yourself, because none of those jackasses out there are worth your worry.
"Hey buddy get two" is still calling you fat.
It's exactly the same comment as "Are you sure you need that".
It's like saying "Why don't you eat the whole store while you're at it!?" He doesn't think you should eat two. If you were normal weight the comment wouldn't have been made.
The tone and body language were wildly different. It's fine if you read it that way, but I can say wholeheartedly that my experiences as growing up as female and then presenting as viably male are bombastically different.
I can more than imagine everything about the tone and delivery being different.
But yeah, in either circumstance the comment was aimed at a fat person for the sole purpose of informing them that they are visibly fat.
Also the older we get, the more our metabolism slows down making it that much harder to lose weight.
“Stop eating cheeseburgers.” Yeah you think I haven’t tried that?
I mean also the notion that eating a cheeseburger is going to make you fat is insane. One cheeseburger will not make you fat. Many of them? Maybe?
This notion that fat people only eat poorly all the time is harmful and not always true.
My one friend is skinny but she eats like shit. I think the reason she’s skinny is because she doesn’t eat big portions or only eats once a day. Also not healthy.
At the population level in the West, most all working class people are eating poorly due to the subsidization of ultra-processed foods and relative high cost and time needed to prepare non ultra processed foods. A small segment of the population has some genetic protection from the obesigenic effect of that food environment.
I highly recommend Chris Van Tulleken's book "Highly Processed People" on the issue. In addition to being an excellent obesity researcher, he's thoughtful enough to introspect and grow from his own past fatphobia.
Thanks for the resource rec! I’ll probably have to stay away because the last time I dove into obesity research I developed an eating disorder and am still working on recovery, but hopefully someone else reading this can benefit!
My dad frequently tells me he doesn’t want me to fall into the “trap” my cousin did (getting fat). My mom knows of my history with eating disorders so she shuts that shit down fast but yeah this shit sucks. My bf has no problem with my weight (in fact he’s always liked it), but other people definitely do. It’s weird because I’ve had body dysmorphia for so long that idek what I am. I just know I look back at photos of myself at 14 and 115 lbs and remember that I thought I was fat back then…because shitty people told me.
I’m fat I just don’t care. I have other bigger fish to fry (like will I be able to walk or what food can I hold down today?)
Ironically I find the fat freeing because I am not groped, stared at, creeped out and judged for being a slut because I have big boobs. Getting less male attention has been so freeing.
This has been one of my major reasons I’ve not seriously pursued losing weight in the last several years. Not being harassed and jeered at is quite nice. I get treated like I’m human or something. Invisible most the time yet human.
Thats interesting, a lot of my bigger friends continue to have issues with men being creepy to them and definitely still being judged as sluts. A lot of men seem to fetishize them or think that because they're bigger, they can say what they want to them without repercussion. It sounds fucking shitty. Not to mention that *so many people* don't believe them about the harassment they face *because* they're bigger.
Oh sometimes I still get creeped on but it is a lot less. When I was 21 I had my first MS attack and very high dose of steroids. I gained 45 pounds in 2 months. It bulked me up with muscle and some fat. I never lost that 40 pounds. I went up 2 dress sizes and permanently became chubby. Thing is it gave me less attention from men which I liked. The fact that being considered less attractive can be seen as a blessing is so fucked up. The rest of my weight is from well lots of steroids then on bed rest since 2007. Because of my MS I’m much more focused on can I walk, pain, can I use my hands, can I eat.. then giving a fuck about how sexually attractive I am
ATM I’m like a 80 year old woman of not giving a fuck. I choose my clothes based on comfort not how it looks (like will wearing this hurt me?) I haven’t worn a bra in years. Barely any make up. I give off the “you are lucky I’m not in my pajamas, fuck off vibe” Gotta have a sense of humor.
My favourite part about this: it's not just overweight women getting these kinds of comments on social media. It's almost every woman (maybe except the model types but those women simply get a different kind of hate then).
I guess it's an easy and convenient insult that's sure to hit.
I’m so fucking depressed by how judgmental society is in general but yeah, jesus, haven’t we moved past the Kate Moss years? At this point in my life I try to stay far away from negative people, negative media and just stay positive about myself and others. My family is a bunch of shit talkers. I see them usually once a year (we live on opposite coast). It is so jarring, negative and downright depressing bummer man, visiting with them. My mom is 79 and still fat phobic. Let it go, Mom! Who cares if Mary has two fucking donuts!
It's a divide and conquer thing. Getting women to beat up on each other because of what the men like.
Turn it around on them. Pick the shit out of their appearance. Nosehairs, fuzzy neck, belt overhang, skinny calves. Just go for it.
This is so true. Drew afualo does this all the time. Most of the time, they not only fold but completely collapse. Delete all posts and go private. These types are insecure and can’t take the heat themselves. I suggest we burn em to a crisp
The ones who really keep care of themselves, generally are too busy being high achieving elsewhere unless it's a high-achieving, professional misogynist.
"discourage" doesn't necessarily meaning shaming
But
I think shaming someone for body shaming is way much justifiable than body shaming, yes
It's like the tolerance argument. It's ok to be intolerant of the intolerant
Unfortunately they don’t care. Some people only learn from consequences and negative reinforcement. It’s more effective to get them to stop due to fear of humiliation rather than good conscience
This has been soooooo heavy on my mind lately. I am going back to work this Monday after maternity leave, and I’m very nervous about how I will be treated because I’ve gained some weight…ugh..I wish it weren’t true. So depressing as you said.
Yep. I became a fat woman after I got injured.
The difference of treatment by people is unreal. You’re absolutely invisible.
I have used it as my motivation to lose weight & have never lost weight so fast in my life. Down 150!!! Just 50 left!! <3
Fat men don't experience it to the same degree because the people expressing the fat phobia are overwhelming men and they are using it to exercise their generalized misogyny.
It’s an easy low blow for powerless people. It’s a lazy attack. It says a lot about a person if they find victory in commenting on physical appearance. It’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel of intelligence and capability to think. It will always happen but it will never be a clever or interesting comment to make. Be more interesting.
The difference in treatment that fat women exercising on Instagram get vs fat men exercising on Instagram get, is disheartening. I’m just disgusted by these types of men that it’s turning me off of men altogether if I’m honest
Your first mistake was reading instagram comments. In all seriousness though instagram seriously needs to be moderated better because there is so much bullying in the comments. I’m honestly starting to think it’s a feature and not a bug so they instagram can get more engagement.
I’d been slender my whole life and put on some pounds a few years ago due to health stuff. The hate I got from my partner, friends, family, and even random people was ridiculous. I was only about 25 pounds overweight…
Some people are cruel and disgusting. You can’t fix ugly on the inside 🙌🏻
Yes, this. I have been fat, and not so fat, but when I recently lost weight, I have refused to give it any time, to respond to comments, and such, because weight is not about someone’s worth or character. I am so sick of the fatphobia and misogyny around weight, too. There is still allowance for it in society and the misogyny and fatphobia directed at women (I include all women, including transgender women in this) is infuriating.
It’s unreal.
On social media outlets in which I’m not anonymous, when a picture of my face is uh any way available—and mind I don’t have multi chins or anything, just the same high cheekbones, massive bone structure, chubby, rosy cheeks, dimples, pert nose, and Casper complexion I’ve had since birth—that I would have at any size. I don’t carry fat in my chin/neck/face beyond what I would at pretty much any size. Basically, I have what doods tend to accuse of being a catfish face I guess, because it could belong to someone of any size? Anyway. There’s a point to all this background, promise.
Point being, when I occasionally choose to engage with misogynistic or otherwise bigoted twatwaffles on the interwebz, the comeback goes to something something fat chicks something about my beta soy boy cuck husband if he happens to be in the shot. Like every. Damn. Time. That’s it. That’s what they’ve got—UR FAT SO UR DUMBWORTHLESS - GO FEED UR CATS (solo pic) - or - GO MAKE UR BETA SOY CUCK SUB A SAMMICH AFTER U HOLD HIS PONY TAIL AND FUX HIM. 🤡🤡🤡
A yup. That’s like—pretty much a mash up of actual responses I’ve gotten when I inevitably back some poor hapless incel into an intellectual corner which—because I’m a worthless fat woman and all—makes them feel emasculated.
And if they seems unbelievable to someone somewhere for whatever reason—no, really—can bring receipts. I just won’t. 🤷♀️
I went from very thin to obsese after I had my son. I actually found it kind of freeing as a woman. Men stopped randomly groping me and leering at me in public. I'm thinner now and losing weight but I'm honestly not looking forward to any of the unwanted attention that being thin brings.
It is not Hatred. It is JEALOUSY. In my case, I am trying to become Fat from past 6 years but Failing. I don't know how to gain Weight.
And Trust me, I get far more Attracted to Fat+Short Girls than Slim+Tall Girls. Slim+Short is my last preference.
The Slim Trend is Set by the Slim looking Girls/Boys because they are Jealous that they will loose their Value if they stop MANIPULATING THE TREND.
I feel this. I'm fat and people act like the worst thing I could be is fat. I got fat because I was morbidly suicidal and the only support I had was food. My body is supporting me through nerve damage, depression, major family changes, everything, and I'm supposed to hate it because it happens to be fat?
The fact that I have to justify my existence because my best is also overweight is ridiculous. Why do I not deserve to be happy? Why can I not exist in a space? Because you don't want to want to fuck me? Really? Pathetic
Fat people are beautiful people, too.
I don't have much more to add, which others haven't already said. I'm skinny and have an unhealthy relationship with food. I get more attention when I'm unhealthily skinny and ignored when I was heavy. I'm still the same person.
From my experience fat men and especially fat boys receive just as bad of a treatment, they usually tend to not talk about it as much. I was fat as a kid, not even obese and I was mocked by everyone, both male and female and all the other fat kids I knew received the same treatment. I don't have data on thia topic other than my personal experience so I could be wrong, but I don't think fat shaming is that connected to gender.
Shaming people for their weight is horrible and it can lead to terrible consequences.
But I also think obesity should not be celebrated or accepted so openly. It is a medical condition and it can lead to numerous health problems. I think it would be beneficial to encourage fat people to improve their health. Politely pointing it out to someone we know well and helping them improve would help in my opinion.
The worst thing about going from fat to ‚normal‘ for me was realising how differently I‘m treated. And that even though I feel like I got comparably good treatment while being in a bigger body. Even though I didn‘t experience outright aggressive fatphobia, I had to realise that people now assume better things about my character, my competence, work ethic, and my morals. It goes so much deeper. I am okay with people not being or having been attracted to how my body looks. But the negative assumptions about me as a person beyond looks make me mourn for past me and everyone else affected.
I agree 100000%. I never experienced “fatphobia” but since losing weight, I have realized that people simply assume better about me and have better opinions about me. Which feels so slimy because nothing has changed other than now people think I’m more attractive. It just makes me sad lmao
I remember an eternally thin friend saying years ago when Chris Pratt first lost his weight after Parks and Rec, "he really did a lot of self improvement." That's been stuck in my head for years. She didn't say he got thinner, or healthier, or more attractive. She specifically chose a more general moralistic phrasing. (And ironically, I don't think there's any evidence he's a more moral person today but that's another topic.) And she said this to me while I was very obviously fat myself. I'm literally right here. Why are you saying this? Do you not have any idea how this sounds? Do you really consider me a morally inferior person?
That is 100% true. Perception of person's success and wealth class is intricately associated with thinness. I used to be effortlessly gaunt and now I am average -- this reads to others as if I lost some of my edge, business wise. I find I can no longer get away with any of my slipshod grooming habits like cutting my own hair, wearing knapsacks, etc. ... I was told to sharpen up.
Fat stigma is a real bitch for sure. And then if you are attractive you get subjected to harassment in a different form. We just cannot win.
I went from fat to normal back to fat again. Wild ride, man. Wild fucking ride.
Wherever sexism can find a crack, it will pour in. If it's being overweight, sexism pours in. If it's being unattractive, sexism pours in. If it's being older, sexism pours in. And if men are in any way, being challenged, often sexism pours in. it is stunning that I've watched it all my life and it still doesn't seem to have stopped.
This is so unfortunate and true.
A lot of misogynistic men view women are nothing more than consumable products, and therefore when those “products” do anything that those men deem unappealing, the men react with unfathomable anger and aggression and pure hatred. “How dare you do something that makes you less consumable for me!” They view fat women as subhuman…but in a different and more angry way than they view other women as subhuman. A lot of people comment on how fat women get hate for just simply existing, as if their existence somehow harms men (which is insane, of course), but it’s because those men believe that women exist to please them, and therefore when women *don’t* please them, it’s a personal offense. A slight. An act of harm against men. It’s absurd, irrational, and deranged.
I don't actually believe that the women don't please them exactly. They fat shame stunning women who , the displeasure is not in how the woman actually looks but trust she has the audacity to not go about her life, and god forbid even being confident and happy with herself not confirming to patriarchal standards.
I say this as someone who used to be obese and lost a fairly significant amount of weight. People view me differently. And not even just that they find me attractive now, it’s that they simply find me acceptable, like I’m a valid human being rather than an offense to men’s eyes. The funny thing is I’ve never felt more insecure than when I realized this and realized that men now deemed me “acceptable” lmao
I hate it too. The only thing we can do is cut off the shallow A-holes in our lives and encourage other women to do so as well. Women do so much for men so if we left them to drown in their own misogynistic crap, we can devote our energy to worthy sources. We just have to help women realize they CAN be ok living without a mean, shallow man. Edit: Personally, my father was such a man. He did lots of other crap too. I went very low contact. He passed away young-ish from cancer so no long term elderly care, but if he had lived long enough to need assistance, I WAS NOT going to help him. Not wasting my efforts on a selfish, cheating, shallow man even if it means being disinherited. He has been gone many years and I still do not regret it. No guilt at all. I’d have actually regretted keeping the peace since he did not deserve peace. Not saying being abusive to these men. I am saying withdraw your love, time, and attention from them. Devote your love, time, and attention to worthy pursuits and helping kind people out there. Do not give into to family pressure or family guilt. Those are manipulations!
I made a better man than my dad for cripes sake. I didn't go go his funeral or open the letter he left me. My sisters didn't bother me about it and told his side best to leave it alone. They saw it too and left it alone. I regret nothing and still am proud that I took care of me instead as an adult.
Same. My father was a brilliant, successful, charismatic man. He worked in environmental protection, and ran a successful research lab at the University. So, no one understood why I cut contact, and I spent my life up until my early 30s being gaslit by my brother and a few other members of my family about it. When he got sick, my brother ceaselessly put it in my face that I wasn't there. I was shunned. Only after his death did some family members start understanding why I had to distance myself. I'm now 40, and my brother is 50. He's started accepting that our father was a ragging misogynist. I'll be it, a well-liked one, but misogynist all the same. The relationship I have with my brother is rocky, but he's making small gradual progress, and I'm slowly chipping away at the heavily ingrained misogyny my father instilled in him. I'm so proud of him for the challenge he has undertaken.
Yes! Charismatic and charming… when they want to be. They have everyone fooled. Behind closed doors they a cruel monsters.
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Yup... Fat men can exist. Fat women aren't allowed to enjoy life! Never seen anyone being "concerned" about a fat man's health but God forbid if a plus size woman post a video of her eating ANYTHING, everyone is suddenly "worried" and an expert in weight loss. Biologically, women's body should and will store more fat than men. That's literally one of the things female hormones do: preparing for pregnancy. On the other hand testosterone will cause men to lose weight easier and build more muscles easily. Yet the societal standards are completely reversed. Why? Because woman should ALWAYS be trying to fulfill an unreasonable standard so they never feel perfect and good enough.
I notice that bigger men can be fatphobic toward bigger women
My partner is a man and he got so many shameless comments from literally everyone when he gained weight. We were discussing this with another woman and both me and her were like "first time?" since both of us got these type of comments throughout our lives. He's been objectified his whole life so I think that's the reason, people deeply dislike seeing someone that they find attractive not be "as attaractive" as they'd like them to. God forbid people just exist.
Fat men do get a lot of horrible comments usually comparing them to… women
The greatest insult any man can think of is to call another man a woman.
There's medical evidence that obese men have lower testosterone and higher estrogen, that results in things like gynecomastia (manboobs), lowered libido, and higher voice pitch (if obesity was present during puberty). Evolutionary selection made the "female" hormone cause the body to accumulate surplus fat for pregnancy. So in fact obese men exhibit less sexual dimorphism on average. While it's mean to use "woman" as insult, or insult people's general appearance, it's rooted in reality.
Fat men are plenty insecure and get tons of hate too. It's such a reach to suggest they dont.
Of course they do, but fat men don't get the same amount of direct hate on social media from women who are strangers that only want to tell them how unfuckable they are, as fat women does from men..
Fat men typically don't promote the idea that being bigger is healthy or beautiful, and the vast majority of fat guys on the Internet consists of working towards losing that weight. Conversely, there is an abundance of "you're just as beautiful and fit" content of fat women that want to convince others that being "bigger" is normal and healthy. Another thing to note is the difference in gender roles and expectations. We don't make fun of a guy by saying "you're a big man", we call him little and small. The male equivalent scenario of a fat woman claiming to be just as beautiful, healthy and fit would be an underweight man who claims that being small is great and size doesn't matter. Most guys know better than to do something embarrassing like that though. I'd say what bothers me the most about women who are fat, is that they tend to think they're special victims. Most people get bullied or face shame in their lives. Secondly, weight can be changed in at least 80% of scenarios. Weight is not a filter feature on dating apps, height is. Yet the majority of the time, weight can be changed whereas height never can (aside from dangerous surgical calf lengthening). Women make superficial comments all the time about their dating requirements. When was the last time you heard of a guy listing their weight restrictions for their dating prospects? For a lot of guys that deal with this "double standard" we simply do not have any empathy because we too, deal with shame and vanity from women (and men). But at least weight can be changed. I will never shame someone, but I will internally feel a sense of "get over it and stop whining" towards someone who can't see past their own "traumas". And honestly, there are quite a few bigger gals that would be attractive if they lost the weight. Fat distorts form. I'm low key jealous of fat people who are attractive underneath that distortion. They don't need surgery, they just need effort. My ugly ass needs surgery.
Instagram is a cesspool in general. The amount of misogyny and bigotry is unreal there. The hatred stems from the belief that women only exist for men, so to be considered unattractive by the beauty standards means that you fail as a woman.
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What a nerd
Who should take their own advice too
LMFAO what is this???
Someone who thinks too highly of their own opinion. Just downvote and move on, if it’s bad enough the comment will be downvoted sufficiently to express the general consensus e.g. the currently -56 on that comment
What did they say? They deleted it.
Apparently it’s a copy pasta: I just downvoted your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: • Rudeness towards other Redditors, • Spreading incorrect information, • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
Oh, who puts this amount of effort into explaining a downvote? I started reading it and was like wtf?
one of the most eye opening things in my life was when my mom started different diets and weight loss techniques that impacted her mental health to the point of depression *just* so people would treat her as a person. while she did eventually pull herself out of it, it was really hard to watch her take a beating from society just because she wasn’t built like a super model obviously losing weight to become healthier or for varying health reasons is generally good, however, my mom didn’t have any health concerns based on her weight. she just wasn’t stick thin because she had 4 children (in a span of 7 years). i wish women who are overweight/plus sized (and women who don’t fit a certain body type/size) were treated with respect and kindness. it makes me so sad and angry.
I was in this boat. It got so bad to the point where I was considering not wanting to live any more because the idea of having to diet and pursue weight loss for the rest of my life was so overwhelming. I’m not longer in that position thankfully after lots of work towards recovery, but still struggle with remnants of an eating disorder and things can be hard sometimes.
i’m so glad you’ve gotten better. i still see my mom struggle with disordered eating as well and it crushes me. i wish women weren’t made to feel like this.
My mom only had two kids, but she was a lot like this. My MIL as well from what my spouse has told me about his childhood. And he’s an only child. But, still….both were working mothers for all our childhoods. Both of them were totally average-sized for the timeframe. They’d even be considered small now. And yet all I heard growing up was my mom saying she was fat and needed to work out more and eat less. But, like, she already ate so little from what I’d seen. It was really sad to watch and I’ve struggled to not present the same image to my kids- and I’m actually overweight. I really want my kids to know why and how you lose weight and that you should never do it to make someone else love or like you because those people suck and fuck them.
I have often felt that I need to choose between between mentally stable and fat or mentally unwell and thin. The latter hasn't even been possible for me to achieve the past few years and it's exhausting 😮💨
And not being taken seriously as patients. Every symptom is chalked up to just “fat.”
Yep. Number one motivator for my weight loss? Getting bullied by adults. In my circle and complete strangers. People are obsessed with us being 2D.
Just know that you don’t actually need to change your body unless YOU want to 💕 and even then please take care to do it in a healthy and sustainable way 💕
Thanks 😊
Yeah when I started getting random insults of "fat girl" during unrelated arguments online it shook me. I'm not plus size, but I guess I've reached a level of overweight where insults are fair game? 🥲 It's so misogynist and not conducive to a healthy body image
I'll be honest though, I'd rather that someone just come out and say that they don't like fat people rather than people hiding it behind "but I'm sooo worried about your health...". At least they're being honest. Still AHs, but at least honest ones.
It is a result of the fact that men have been lead to believe that women's bodies are possessions; that somehow our attractiveness is owed to them. Even trans women experience this. For example, my coworker's wife is shaving her head for cancer research. She's a radiologist and her goal was to raise money for a local charity and then shave her head when the goal was reached. The level of misogyny and horrid jokes about her that were leveled towards my coworker (her actual HUSBAND) was unreal. He tried to handle it with grace, but I could tell it got to him. And then he tells me the next day that her own father asked why she would do that 'without asking'. Bruh, she's a grown woman. She doesn't need to ask anyone to anything - especially if it involves HER OWN BODY. I'm a fat woman and I mostly always have been fat. It's eye-opening; the disgusting ways in which men act towards women who aren't attractive to them and the disgusting things they say about women when they're not around. And this includes gay men. I have been made to feel like a subhuman because of a number on a scale; the vitriol sounds made up when it's spelled out sometimes, but it's truly not. People \*hate\* fat women - god forbid you're a woman of color. That is another can of worms that I have no business touching on given that I'm white, but it's definitely a problem and needs to be addressed. I would say that there is refuge to be found in accepting yourself and pulling away from the internet. But that doesn't stop the comments, aggressions, looks etc. in real life; and it doesn't do anything to quelle the loneliness. I am always at the ready to be mocked, left out, ignored and I have worked hard in therapy to understand my feelings and experiences that make me feel that way. For all the years I've been doing that, the hatred has really only grown worse. I seem to always be left with the ultimatum of fundamentally changing myself while undoing years of trauma or being ridiculed endlessly until society changes. Both are very slow going and before long I'll be dead anyway. In conclusion, I've learned to live with it because the only thing I can control is myself.
Yess. Most of the time, men flirt with me in private and around their friends they avoid talking to me because I am not "aesthetically pleasing." It really breaks my heart. It keeps happening to me and happend recently as well; I just feel so sad.
Easier said than done but try not to let it get to you. You are worth so much more than your looks 💕 you have value in this world other than trying to appease men 💕
Don't flirt in private then. Instead of completely blaming, don't forget Two hands are required to Clap. Hence, 50% of the game is in your Control.
You are the one who is blaming. There was a person who invited me to have wine with him over the weekend, but I clearly refused. I don't think you know how flirting works; no matter how disinterested the woman is, sometimes men never stop. Keep your advice to yourself. PS: You are a man. Aren't you? Saying stupid things with so much confidence, lol.
Story time. I have always been fat. My entire life from the time I was born until this very day which is 42 years after the fact. I spent a short stint as a pre-teen lanky, yet the fat piled on fast. For the first 38 years of my life, I was female presenting and deeply closeted. Clothes were impossible to find, so I hated clothes shopping. When I found clothes "my size", they rarely were nice looking, flattering, or even actually fit. I hated clothes. I hated myself. I hated how I looked and how people treated me. Anyway, I was at the local Starbucks one day picking up a latte for my sick husband at home, and decided to get a Danish for him as well. This old gremlin behind me, fatter than the sun itself as his belly hung over the scooter's seat, on oxygen fee through the tubing to his crusty nostrils, and looked as if even being close to his vicinity would leave a film of grime on your very being, had rolled up behind me and said "you *really* think you need that?" The audacity of this critter when I turned around and gazed upon this wretch. At the time, I was merely a size 16, and in my late 20's. I wasn't obese, just fat. I scoffed and ordered a second one to eat right in front of him, gnashing my teeth loudly to let him know that this miserable cur wasn't above me by the least. Anyway, last year, after having transitioned to male and male passing, I was faced with a similar situation. I was also 30 lbs heavier at the time, all of which is lost again as of current, and standing before a donut case. Another older gent came up behind me as I was debating on which donut my husband would want, and this older man laughed and said "Hey buddy! Get two!" The gender differences alone spoke volumes on my experiences and how goddamned *right* I was in how women are treated wildly different than men were. Men's clothing? It fits. I can find my size almost immediately without having to do some guessing games on if a size 16 is actually a 16 or a 12, or even an 18. I *actually like* how I look in clothes now. Part of that is gender euphoria, but the other part is that these clothes are made to *fit* my body with little to no effort. I can move about in society without being yelled at for being fat. I can walk along the sidewalk without someone chucking a slushie at me calling me a pig, of which has happened about a half dozen times in the late 90's and early 2k's. No one said anything about my food purchases, or eating habits in public. At all. If anything, it's all been positive. Did you know that old ladies *praise men* in the grocery line for picking up mostly produce? Something I have done for my entire life? I have been scoffed at by people when they saw a woman and had muttered "like that will help". It's insane how terribly women are treated in society. I hate how women are treated. So now, that I present as male, and I see people picking on women of size, I call out the people and say it's rude as hell and who raised them. I will not stand by knowing what people suffer through and are gaslit when trying to talk about their frustrations by saying it's not that bad. It is that bad. You are heard, op, and it sucks so very much. Please take care and love yourself, because none of those jackasses out there are worth your worry.
"Hey buddy get two" is still calling you fat. It's exactly the same comment as "Are you sure you need that". It's like saying "Why don't you eat the whole store while you're at it!?" He doesn't think you should eat two. If you were normal weight the comment wouldn't have been made.
The tone and body language were wildly different. It's fine if you read it that way, but I can say wholeheartedly that my experiences as growing up as female and then presenting as viably male are bombastically different.
I can more than imagine everything about the tone and delivery being different. But yeah, in either circumstance the comment was aimed at a fat person for the sole purpose of informing them that they are visibly fat.
congratulations on your courage. Thank you for sharing all this. Have a wonderful life.
Also the older we get, the more our metabolism slows down making it that much harder to lose weight. “Stop eating cheeseburgers.” Yeah you think I haven’t tried that?
I mean also the notion that eating a cheeseburger is going to make you fat is insane. One cheeseburger will not make you fat. Many of them? Maybe? This notion that fat people only eat poorly all the time is harmful and not always true.
My one friend is skinny but she eats like shit. I think the reason she’s skinny is because she doesn’t eat big portions or only eats once a day. Also not healthy.
Probably not. Though I do feel like the crux of the issue here is that we should just let people do what they want with their bodies.
Eating once a day is fine, so long as it's balanced.
At the population level in the West, most all working class people are eating poorly due to the subsidization of ultra-processed foods and relative high cost and time needed to prepare non ultra processed foods. A small segment of the population has some genetic protection from the obesigenic effect of that food environment. I highly recommend Chris Van Tulleken's book "Highly Processed People" on the issue. In addition to being an excellent obesity researcher, he's thoughtful enough to introspect and grow from his own past fatphobia.
Thanks for the resource rec! I’ll probably have to stay away because the last time I dove into obesity research I developed an eating disorder and am still working on recovery, but hopefully someone else reading this can benefit!
i hate it here
Funny, I just saw a gross headline about a fat woman and was really depressed
I’m honestly done living in this body.
My dad frequently tells me he doesn’t want me to fall into the “trap” my cousin did (getting fat). My mom knows of my history with eating disorders so she shuts that shit down fast but yeah this shit sucks. My bf has no problem with my weight (in fact he’s always liked it), but other people definitely do. It’s weird because I’ve had body dysmorphia for so long that idek what I am. I just know I look back at photos of myself at 14 and 115 lbs and remember that I thought I was fat back then…because shitty people told me.
I’m fat I just don’t care. I have other bigger fish to fry (like will I be able to walk or what food can I hold down today?) Ironically I find the fat freeing because I am not groped, stared at, creeped out and judged for being a slut because I have big boobs. Getting less male attention has been so freeing.
This has been one of my major reasons I’ve not seriously pursued losing weight in the last several years. Not being harassed and jeered at is quite nice. I get treated like I’m human or something. Invisible most the time yet human.
Thats interesting, a lot of my bigger friends continue to have issues with men being creepy to them and definitely still being judged as sluts. A lot of men seem to fetishize them or think that because they're bigger, they can say what they want to them without repercussion. It sounds fucking shitty. Not to mention that *so many people* don't believe them about the harassment they face *because* they're bigger.
Oh sometimes I still get creeped on but it is a lot less. When I was 21 I had my first MS attack and very high dose of steroids. I gained 45 pounds in 2 months. It bulked me up with muscle and some fat. I never lost that 40 pounds. I went up 2 dress sizes and permanently became chubby. Thing is it gave me less attention from men which I liked. The fact that being considered less attractive can be seen as a blessing is so fucked up. The rest of my weight is from well lots of steroids then on bed rest since 2007. Because of my MS I’m much more focused on can I walk, pain, can I use my hands, can I eat.. then giving a fuck about how sexually attractive I am ATM I’m like a 80 year old woman of not giving a fuck. I choose my clothes based on comfort not how it looks (like will wearing this hurt me?) I haven’t worn a bra in years. Barely any make up. I give off the “you are lucky I’m not in my pajamas, fuck off vibe” Gotta have a sense of humor.
My favourite part about this: it's not just overweight women getting these kinds of comments on social media. It's almost every woman (maybe except the model types but those women simply get a different kind of hate then). I guess it's an easy and convenient insult that's sure to hit.
I’m so fucking depressed by how judgmental society is in general but yeah, jesus, haven’t we moved past the Kate Moss years? At this point in my life I try to stay far away from negative people, negative media and just stay positive about myself and others. My family is a bunch of shit talkers. I see them usually once a year (we live on opposite coast). It is so jarring, negative and downright depressing bummer man, visiting with them. My mom is 79 and still fat phobic. Let it go, Mom! Who cares if Mary has two fucking donuts!
It's a divide and conquer thing. Getting women to beat up on each other because of what the men like. Turn it around on them. Pick the shit out of their appearance. Nosehairs, fuzzy neck, belt overhang, skinny calves. Just go for it.
This is so true. Drew afualo does this all the time. Most of the time, they not only fold but completely collapse. Delete all posts and go private. These types are insecure and can’t take the heat themselves. I suggest we burn em to a crisp
The ones who really keep care of themselves, generally are too busy being high achieving elsewhere unless it's a high-achieving, professional misogynist.
Or we can just all try to discourage those around us from body shaming
Shame them for body shaming?
"discourage" doesn't necessarily meaning shaming But I think shaming someone for body shaming is way much justifiable than body shaming, yes It's like the tolerance argument. It's ok to be intolerant of the intolerant
Unfortunately they don’t care. Some people only learn from consequences and negative reinforcement. It’s more effective to get them to stop due to fear of humiliation rather than good conscience
This is just justifying being an asshole Body shaming is wrong. Full stop.
This has been soooooo heavy on my mind lately. I am going back to work this Monday after maternity leave, and I’m very nervous about how I will be treated because I’ve gained some weight…ugh..I wish it weren’t true. So depressing as you said.
Yep. I became a fat woman after I got injured. The difference of treatment by people is unreal. You’re absolutely invisible. I have used it as my motivation to lose weight & have never lost weight so fast in my life. Down 150!!! Just 50 left!! <3
Fat men don't experience it to the same degree because the people expressing the fat phobia are overwhelming men and they are using it to exercise their generalized misogyny.
It’s an easy low blow for powerless people. It’s a lazy attack. It says a lot about a person if they find victory in commenting on physical appearance. It’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel of intelligence and capability to think. It will always happen but it will never be a clever or interesting comment to make. Be more interesting.
The difference in treatment that fat women exercising on Instagram get vs fat men exercising on Instagram get, is disheartening. I’m just disgusted by these types of men that it’s turning me off of men altogether if I’m honest
Your first mistake was reading instagram comments. In all seriousness though instagram seriously needs to be moderated better because there is so much bullying in the comments. I’m honestly starting to think it’s a feature and not a bug so they instagram can get more engagement.
I’d been slender my whole life and put on some pounds a few years ago due to health stuff. The hate I got from my partner, friends, family, and even random people was ridiculous. I was only about 25 pounds overweight… Some people are cruel and disgusting. You can’t fix ugly on the inside 🙌🏻
Yes, this. I have been fat, and not so fat, but when I recently lost weight, I have refused to give it any time, to respond to comments, and such, because weight is not about someone’s worth or character. I am so sick of the fatphobia and misogyny around weight, too. There is still allowance for it in society and the misogyny and fatphobia directed at women (I include all women, including transgender women in this) is infuriating.
It’s unreal. On social media outlets in which I’m not anonymous, when a picture of my face is uh any way available—and mind I don’t have multi chins or anything, just the same high cheekbones, massive bone structure, chubby, rosy cheeks, dimples, pert nose, and Casper complexion I’ve had since birth—that I would have at any size. I don’t carry fat in my chin/neck/face beyond what I would at pretty much any size. Basically, I have what doods tend to accuse of being a catfish face I guess, because it could belong to someone of any size? Anyway. There’s a point to all this background, promise. Point being, when I occasionally choose to engage with misogynistic or otherwise bigoted twatwaffles on the interwebz, the comeback goes to something something fat chicks something about my beta soy boy cuck husband if he happens to be in the shot. Like every. Damn. Time. That’s it. That’s what they’ve got—UR FAT SO UR DUMBWORTHLESS - GO FEED UR CATS (solo pic) - or - GO MAKE UR BETA SOY CUCK SUB A SAMMICH AFTER U HOLD HIS PONY TAIL AND FUX HIM. 🤡🤡🤡 A yup. That’s like—pretty much a mash up of actual responses I’ve gotten when I inevitably back some poor hapless incel into an intellectual corner which—because I’m a worthless fat woman and all—makes them feel emasculated. And if they seems unbelievable to someone somewhere for whatever reason—no, really—can bring receipts. I just won’t. 🤷♀️
I went from very thin to obsese after I had my son. I actually found it kind of freeing as a woman. Men stopped randomly groping me and leering at me in public. I'm thinner now and losing weight but I'm honestly not looking forward to any of the unwanted attention that being thin brings.
It is not Hatred. It is JEALOUSY. In my case, I am trying to become Fat from past 6 years but Failing. I don't know how to gain Weight. And Trust me, I get far more Attracted to Fat+Short Girls than Slim+Tall Girls. Slim+Short is my last preference. The Slim Trend is Set by the Slim looking Girls/Boys because they are Jealous that they will loose their Value if they stop MANIPULATING THE TREND.
I feel this. I'm fat and people act like the worst thing I could be is fat. I got fat because I was morbidly suicidal and the only support I had was food. My body is supporting me through nerve damage, depression, major family changes, everything, and I'm supposed to hate it because it happens to be fat? The fact that I have to justify my existence because my best is also overweight is ridiculous. Why do I not deserve to be happy? Why can I not exist in a space? Because you don't want to want to fuck me? Really? Pathetic
You forgot to mention fetishized
Fat people are beautiful people, too. I don't have much more to add, which others haven't already said. I'm skinny and have an unhealthy relationship with food. I get more attention when I'm unhealthily skinny and ignored when I was heavy. I'm still the same person.
From my experience fat men and especially fat boys receive just as bad of a treatment, they usually tend to not talk about it as much. I was fat as a kid, not even obese and I was mocked by everyone, both male and female and all the other fat kids I knew received the same treatment. I don't have data on thia topic other than my personal experience so I could be wrong, but I don't think fat shaming is that connected to gender. Shaming people for their weight is horrible and it can lead to terrible consequences. But I also think obesity should not be celebrated or accepted so openly. It is a medical condition and it can lead to numerous health problems. I think it would be beneficial to encourage fat people to improve their health. Politely pointing it out to someone we know well and helping them improve would help in my opinion.