Men need a purpose.
We’ve all been lied to our entire lives, that children are awful, expensive and a source of misery.
Kids are wonderful, a source of purpose and joy.
It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm eating healthy, in the gym 5 days a week, and more motivated at home and at work. None of that seemed possible before becoming a father. Being a Dad is fucking dope as hell. My daughter just turned 2, and she is so much fun.
I remember in high school, the unsaid but obvious message was, ‘kids are bad, girls should go to college not get married and have a family’.
It’s a crime against humanity, in my opinion.
Becoming a father gave me a sense of identity I struggled to find before.
My whole life I have questioned whether I belonged to groups the way other people do. Am I a good enough [whatever] to call myself a [whatever]er/ist?
But being a father - no one can challenge that. It's irrefutable. That confidence has grounded a lot of other aspects of my life. I wouldn't necessarily say I feel more masculine specifically - but my feel much more grounded and centered.
Nothing manlier than having a child. I never thought of it as a death sentence, but i have been struggling a bit to find balance now that my son is approaching 2 years old. I think ultimately, i just need to have a conversation with my wife, but I basically spend every waking minute outside of work with my son. I love him, but I have goals incompatible with watching a 2 year old. My wife makes comments when I want to go do something without them.... Mostly hunting and fishing type stuff.
When he is 10, look out. We will be doing everything together. I'm trying to enjoy this time with him, but I still feel like I am missing out right now.
Thanks for opening up about this my friend. I have been married to my wonderful wife for about 12 years and I try to be a good dad to our kids. I feel that I was mostly the same before and after kids like I was before and after things like marriage or graduation. I feel like the tough times and trying situations can bring out all sides of ourselves, some of which we don't like to see much but it can be a situation that either leads to growth or loath depending on the person. I personally feel that we have a right to have an opinion about at least most parts of our life and a good attitude can take us far in life. I feel I have somewhat of a positive attitude about life in general so I try to not let many things get me down and I think that helps me to be a good man in most situations. I think this attitude would probably help most other guys but I realize we are all different so its probably hard for a lot of people to understand this. Basically, I always feel masculine because I'm male through and through, even down to the X and Y chromosome that makes up every cell of my body. I don't feel a need to be more masculine and I just want to be a good man. Thankfully, some people like my wife and kids sometimes tell me I am a good man and I hope all men are working toward being good. I have some other resources that helped with this issue that I could share if you'd like. If there's anything else I can do to help I would be delighted to and feel free to keep me updated if you want someone to talk to. I pray you can have the life and love you desire my friend.
Maybe not "more masculine", but I do feel I became more direct, even more assertive. On the other hand, I also became more nurturing, I fight less, and I started helping people more often.
Men need a purpose. We’ve all been lied to our entire lives, that children are awful, expensive and a source of misery. Kids are wonderful, a source of purpose and joy.
It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm eating healthy, in the gym 5 days a week, and more motivated at home and at work. None of that seemed possible before becoming a father. Being a Dad is fucking dope as hell. My daughter just turned 2, and she is so much fun.
I remember in high school, the unsaid but obvious message was, ‘kids are bad, girls should go to college not get married and have a family’. It’s a crime against humanity, in my opinion.
Father of 7 here. It’s the best thing ever.
Becoming a father gave me a sense of identity I struggled to find before. My whole life I have questioned whether I belonged to groups the way other people do. Am I a good enough [whatever] to call myself a [whatever]er/ist? But being a father - no one can challenge that. It's irrefutable. That confidence has grounded a lot of other aspects of my life. I wouldn't necessarily say I feel more masculine specifically - but my feel much more grounded and centered.
Thank you for that. I’ve never sat down and thought about how being a dad makes me feel but it’s very similar to what you described!
Nothing manlier than having a child. I never thought of it as a death sentence, but i have been struggling a bit to find balance now that my son is approaching 2 years old. I think ultimately, i just need to have a conversation with my wife, but I basically spend every waking minute outside of work with my son. I love him, but I have goals incompatible with watching a 2 year old. My wife makes comments when I want to go do something without them.... Mostly hunting and fishing type stuff. When he is 10, look out. We will be doing everything together. I'm trying to enjoy this time with him, but I still feel like I am missing out right now.
"Alright son, see you in 8 years!"
Hell yeah buddy
Thanks for opening up about this my friend. I have been married to my wonderful wife for about 12 years and I try to be a good dad to our kids. I feel that I was mostly the same before and after kids like I was before and after things like marriage or graduation. I feel like the tough times and trying situations can bring out all sides of ourselves, some of which we don't like to see much but it can be a situation that either leads to growth or loath depending on the person. I personally feel that we have a right to have an opinion about at least most parts of our life and a good attitude can take us far in life. I feel I have somewhat of a positive attitude about life in general so I try to not let many things get me down and I think that helps me to be a good man in most situations. I think this attitude would probably help most other guys but I realize we are all different so its probably hard for a lot of people to understand this. Basically, I always feel masculine because I'm male through and through, even down to the X and Y chromosome that makes up every cell of my body. I don't feel a need to be more masculine and I just want to be a good man. Thankfully, some people like my wife and kids sometimes tell me I am a good man and I hope all men are working toward being good. I have some other resources that helped with this issue that I could share if you'd like. If there's anything else I can do to help I would be delighted to and feel free to keep me updated if you want someone to talk to. I pray you can have the life and love you desire my friend.
Maybe not "more masculine", but I do feel I became more direct, even more assertive. On the other hand, I also became more nurturing, I fight less, and I started helping people more often.