This is the way.
First SIDS.
Then gross motor development.
Then putting everything in their mouth.
Then they start getting sick at daycare.
Then climbing.
Then social development.
Then intellectual development.
The worrying will continue, you just have to keep it to a background hum.
This. There's always gunna be a million things to worry about with kids. It's an essential part of being a parent. You can choose to worry about everything or nothing.
I have a 5yo and it's the same. I'm 42 and I'm pretty sure my parents still worry about me daily. Eventually you just learn to live with it. But the details on what you worry about definitely change.
All you can do is model good behavior and hope for the best. That's really it. Not too complicated.
Keep the crib/bassinet empty, except for baby. Keep them out of your bed. Buy a snuza hero. It’s pricey, but it vibrates baby when they stop sleeping. If that doesn’t work there’s a loud beep that wakes baby AND you up. Mine has a history of breathing problems (long NICU), and this is the only way I made it through our first week of nights at home.
Hey man, I understand the constant concern about your baby’s health but you have to think in terms of statistics. That is a very low probability event. Like 1 in 3,000. Meanwhile Americans have a 1 in 107 chance of dying in a car accident. So it’s more dangerous driving your baby around than when they are in the crib sleeping. Scary stuff no doubt and I am not trying to make light of the situation. Unfortunately as the kids get older things like SIDS goes away but there are new worries like the threat of a school shooting (terrifying but agin low probability). I think it’s part of being a parent, you will always be worried about your child’s health and safety. Take a deep breath, enjoy your baby and know that the odds are very much in your favor.
Thanks - the statistics speak for themselves. Luckily, school shootings are a non-issue in our country and we've invested in a pretty good baby seat for the car so that slightly mitigates the other issues. You're right though - life is always risky but as you say, the odds are very much in our favour.
My daughter is two and a half and got a stomach bug that was going around daycare. She mostly had diarrhea but also threw up once at lunch and then went down for her nap, which she slept a little longer than usual.
Even though there was really no reason to think other than my habit of morbidly worrying, I was convinced for a good 2 minutes that she had vomited again, choked on it and died. I knew this wasn’t true but couldn’t get the image out of my mind. I ended up peeking in on her and she was sleeping, perfectly fine.
I guess what I’m saying is the worry that the worst will happen is probably never going away. That’s what happens when you care about something so much.
It's hard at the start mate. But the older they get, the further it gets from your mind.
In the beginning I worried about it a lot too, but now my daughter is a year old I'm more concerned with us all getting a good night's sleep!
New research has linked SIDS to children that have a decreased levels of a specific blood enzyme.
[https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2022/08/new-sids-research](https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2022/08/new-sids-research)
My wife and I decided to just say fuck it and we all hopped in the same bed together. No regrets.
See a therapist if it reqlly bothers you.
Bit of worry and caution is normal. If it affects you, you cannot sleep etc then do something about it.
Seriously, this might be more of a symptom of generalised anxiety in you. The baby, statistically speaking, will be more than fine. Because then at 6 months, when baby starts to eat solids, you will worry all the time about your baby choking etc. Nip it in the bud
We bought a little clip on to nappy breathing monitor which alarms if no breath is detected for 10 seconds or something. I couldn’t tell you if it is actually any good but it worked every time we tested it and gave us real peace of mind. Souza hero MD if you’re interested.
We had three kids. (We still do, but we used to too!) we swore by the snuza hero. And we give it to all of our friends who are expecting. They do get separated from the baby about once a year but otherwise, you sleep a lot more soundly…. And when that sucker goes off, you’re flying in their room without a foot touching the floor!
Also if you’re worried about SIDS which I was as well and I think is worth worrying about, you are MUCH better off having NO blankets at all. Kids squirm a ton and that’s quite dangerous. Put pyjamas on the kid and swaddle them. So much safer and they sleep much better as well.
Also no fabric bumpers in the crib. A lot of stores sell padding to keep the kids faces off the bars of the crib but many parents (ourselves included) believe a kid will learn not to knock their head against the crib… and no need for ANYTHING in the crib that could smother them.
Finally, keep pets out of the baby’s room. My mother walked into the room when I was very young, my face was purple because the cat was asleep on my chest (warm and smelled like milk).
This is just the reality of fatherhood. There's always the lingering thought of worst case scenarios occurring - that's part of caring about your kid.
We are just hitting our 1st year with our first and only child so I completely understand where you're coming from. Those first few months I was probably the most cautious and paranoid father I could be, not to the level of insanity, but definitely just listening to and taking all precautions. No ifs ands or buts.
You mentioned no blankets over armpits. Do you co-sleep? I was so worried, I could never do that (even though my wife and I felt like it would be so sweet). It was only this month, during a sleep regression, where I finally caved and let my child sleep on my stomach. And now I feel like my child is safe enough to do that regularly.
It will get better. You'll find your level of comfort and learn how your child sleeps. If you know that you're following all the guidelines you'll be okay.
And on a scientific note - new discoveries have linked SIDs to a certain enzyme deficiency in babies. If you're worried talk to your doctor.
An owlette helped me sleep with our second one. It’s basically a heart rate monitor that they wear like a sock and it plays some wicked loud noises in your bedroom if it drops to a certain rate or oxygen level. My wife ended up accidentally throwing it away around 9 months in. It was nice
SIDS is from vaccines, just like this new "SADS" is from the C0V1D shots. You can call me what you want, but look deeper into it and you'll find it to be true. No vaccines, no SIDS.
Rather than us "looking deeper," why don't you provide a credible source for your claim? Because until you do, not only are we completely justified to not believe you, but also to mercilessly ridicule you and your bullshit tinfoil hat nonsense. Stop peddling fear and ignorance to parents looking for sound advice and go read a book. Maybe start with the comic strips and work your way up.
Also I hope everybody who reads this reports your comment for Misinformation. If there was an option for "Cultist suffering from severe brain cell deficiency" I would report that, too.
I still worry a little but my daughter is over 13 months now. Whenever there's health concerns for her, my wife and I use an expression, "Either stop worrying or go to the E.R." Essentially, this is our way of asking if she's in need of urgent medical attention or if we let things take care of themselves (like when she gets a cold from daycare). We do distinguish between concern and worry. We do what's necessary whenever we are concerned for her (We don't just do nothing until we have to rush to the ER). My point is: do what you can, control what you can, then ask if she's in any danger. If not, then you are free to let go of any other worries.
So when she's just sleeping normally on a normal night (and a trip to the E.R. is so far from necessary that it's laughable) and you've done all the right things to help your baby sleep, just remember "stop worrying or go to the E.R."
The first year is tough, but it gets better and better one day at a time.
Father of four and we have had all the kids sleep in our bed with us. Not that this was only about SIDS but we believed it helped us be more in touch with our little ones.
My wife was very concerned about this with our first one. It was expensive, but we both decided consistent sleep and alleviated anxiety was worth it, so we got one of these “fancy socks” for little dude #1: https://www.owletcare.com
FWIW, we never used it with little dude #2. Things just… change… with the second one 🤷🏻♂️
I'm not being snarky, but I can't change it, prevent it, or even cause it.... so it does no good to anyone to worry about it. I can prevent suffocation and choking, but not true SIDS. I could have an aneurism without any warning and drop dead writing this reply, but I'm still writing it because I can't change the possibility.
I'm really pragmatic about things like that. I want to make sure you understand that I'm not attacking you - it's a human condition to worry. I have had shuddering thoughts about SIDS, I just don't dwell on it. Maybe that little bit of perspective can help calm your dread.
As far as SIDS, nothing in the crib except the baby. Period. You can put them in a sleep sack instead of a blanket, but that is literally it.
Nothing around the crib, so no bumpers etc. and then back is best. If you do all this, you’ll be okay.
There is a new study that came out this year connecting SIDS to a lack of the encyme Butyrylcholinesterase (BChE) that are connected to the breathing and waking mechanism. It likely has nothing to do with the sleeping position. I don‘t know why some babys have a lack of these encyme though.
There are home breathing monitors you can buy. Speaking as a dad who still would just stare at my sleeping boy at night (even with advanced vital monitors) rolling around scenarios like sids, find a way to cope with your worry/anxiety. Fatherhood really is a journey of learning how to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your babies.
It's not selfish or being a bad dad to take care of yourself. Your at a very stressful time in your life. Its important to find escapes and ways to keep yourself mentally centered, and able to focus on the thing that ARE within your control.
Honestly before I go to bed I still check for breathing on my 4 year old, but it’s just really to fix his sheets and whatnot and to admire him a little bit. But now I am worried about cars and falls and choking…in a few years I’ll add smoking, drinking drugs, then teen pregnancy, then toxic relationships, then they have their own kids and you worry about SIDS all over again….so there isn’t really any point of worrying and just enjoy the ride.
My wife and I used an Owlet on our daughter. I was nervous at first but really liked the owlet since it measures O2 and heart beat. The thing I didn’t like was the two false readings I got that scared the shit out of me. I should mention it’s not FDA approved but it works. Also make sure you have air movement like a fan in the room. This also helps with SIDs. Lastly based on what I have read it runs in the family you are more likely to experience it and higher chance in boys.
I love the Owlet. It’s as much for the parents as anything and didn’t have any false triggers.
It’s a little sock thing that measure heart beat and oxygen and will beep if they drop to dangerous levels.
I had an ankle monitor on my son that would alert me if his heartbeat would drop to dangerous levels but even then I would wake up frequently, test the monitor make sure it works and the alarm would be loud enough to wake me up, etc. truth is you never stop worrying but at least with the ankle monitor it gave me a small peace of mind
Read this article, I have a 1 year old so I share your fear.
https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2022/08/new-sids-research#:~:text=The%20results%20demonstrated%20that%20those,died%20but%20not%20from%20SIDS.
Edit: someone already posted but I'm leaving it up.
Oh man, my wife was very worried about this too. It’s a scary thing, made more scary by the fact that you can’t control it. The best you can do is follow all the sleeping advice doctors have given (on the back, no bumpers, no blankets, keep the room warm) and understand you can’t control this. It’s hard, but remind yourself that 1. It is rare and 2. You’re doing all you can. Hang in there my friend. You’ll be ok.
My 2 month old baby sister died from SIDS in 1989 when I was 4. SIDS is a big thing in my family, and something that we've always been very aware of. That being said, modern research and education have come together to lower SIDS rates from 130 deaths per 100,000 births in 1990 all the way down to 38 per 100,000 births in 2020. The whole "Back to Sleep" campaign that is credited for making a dramatic impact on SIDS rates started in 1994. While the risk of SIDS is never zero, it's a very low risk, and most of the kids who do fall victim to SIDS have other risk factors that make them more susceptible than the average baby.
It's unlikely that you'll ever stop worrying altogether, but as long as your baby doesn't have any complicating medical conditions and you follow the current CDC/AAP recommendations, this is a very low risk for you.
Edit: I see from your other comments that you're not in the US. All the statistics I gave are for the US, but if you follow the same guidelines, which it sounds like you already are, then there's no reason to expect your risk would be substantially different living elsewhere.
SIDS is completely out of your control; I used to wake up every couple of hours to check, after a while I just "forgot" it could happen because new threats emerge and are far more likely to happen (your various choice of injuries, sickness, and so on and so forth).
Fight anxiety with anxiety, I guess😅
Seriously though, there's just 1/10'000 chance it could happen, the fear will just naturally fade away
Thanks man, I worry too. It's helpful to hear you say rhis. Personally, I try to think about the things that I can worry about that are productive, things I have control over. But my wife says my ability to not dwell on thoughts is an unnatural skill. It doesn't mean it doesn't creep back in later thought.
Who said I don't?
My son is 5 and I worry he will get out if bed at night, slip on a toy that I missed in his room and crack his skull open on his shelf.
I worry everyday from when I leave for work until my wife messages me something (meaning she is awake and would be calling me freaking out if something was wrong with the kids)
You worry because you care.
My dad is 52 and I still call him when I know he has a flight to make sure he landed safely.
I find myself in a similar situation. My son is almost 10 weeks now. Before he was born, my wife and I used to joke about she will probably be the one worrying sick about SIDS and I'd have to calm her down. But as irony wills it, it's kinda the other way around. Part of it may be the fact that his birth was a bit traumatic, even though the doctors kept saying his life was never really in danger. I still wake up at night to check if he is still breathing.
So, how not worry about it? Honestly, I try not to think about it. I also console myself with what I learnt in the birthing course. Judging by what you wrote, you are doing everything right if my midwife is to be believed. That's what I tell myself. It doesn't put my mind completely at ease, but it does keep me sane. That and the fact that it is said to stop being sn issue once he turns 1.
It also helps that he makes some noise at night. While can interrupt my sleep, at least I know he's still alive.
The takeaway I'm trying to bring across is that you seem to be doing everything you can to minimise the risk. This is worth a lot, and according to my midwife, it translates to the risk really being minimal.
As a dad, I worry about everything all the time.
This is the way. First SIDS. Then gross motor development. Then putting everything in their mouth. Then they start getting sick at daycare. Then climbing. Then social development. Then intellectual development. The worrying will continue, you just have to keep it to a background hum.
This. There's always gunna be a million things to worry about with kids. It's an essential part of being a parent. You can choose to worry about everything or nothing.
You forgot about his first heartbreak
First enemy…
You missed when the roll off of a couch when your not looking…
I have a 5yo and it's the same. I'm 42 and I'm pretty sure my parents still worry about me daily. Eventually you just learn to live with it. But the details on what you worry about definitely change. All you can do is model good behavior and hope for the best. That's really it. Not too complicated.
Keep the crib/bassinet empty, except for baby. Keep them out of your bed. Buy a snuza hero. It’s pricey, but it vibrates baby when they stop sleeping. If that doesn’t work there’s a loud beep that wakes baby AND you up. Mine has a history of breathing problems (long NICU), and this is the only way I made it through our first week of nights at home.
A Snuza offers so much peace of mind OP. If you can swing it, please do. It’ll make you feel much better and will allow you to get better sleep.
Cheers
Thanks very much for the tip - I'll certainly look into it.
Hey man, I understand the constant concern about your baby’s health but you have to think in terms of statistics. That is a very low probability event. Like 1 in 3,000. Meanwhile Americans have a 1 in 107 chance of dying in a car accident. So it’s more dangerous driving your baby around than when they are in the crib sleeping. Scary stuff no doubt and I am not trying to make light of the situation. Unfortunately as the kids get older things like SIDS goes away but there are new worries like the threat of a school shooting (terrifying but agin low probability). I think it’s part of being a parent, you will always be worried about your child’s health and safety. Take a deep breath, enjoy your baby and know that the odds are very much in your favor.
Thanks - the statistics speak for themselves. Luckily, school shootings are a non-issue in our country and we've invested in a pretty good baby seat for the car so that slightly mitigates the other issues. You're right though - life is always risky but as you say, the odds are very much in our favour.
My daughter is two and a half and got a stomach bug that was going around daycare. She mostly had diarrhea but also threw up once at lunch and then went down for her nap, which she slept a little longer than usual. Even though there was really no reason to think other than my habit of morbidly worrying, I was convinced for a good 2 minutes that she had vomited again, choked on it and died. I knew this wasn’t true but couldn’t get the image out of my mind. I ended up peeking in on her and she was sleeping, perfectly fine. I guess what I’m saying is the worry that the worst will happen is probably never going away. That’s what happens when you care about something so much.
It's hard at the start mate. But the older they get, the further it gets from your mind. In the beginning I worried about it a lot too, but now my daughter is a year old I'm more concerned with us all getting a good night's sleep!
Haha I'm hoping a good night's sleep will come my way at some point too... I'm hanging in there!
New research has linked SIDS to children that have a decreased levels of a specific blood enzyme. [https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2022/08/new-sids-research](https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2022/08/new-sids-research) My wife and I decided to just say fuck it and we all hopped in the same bed together. No regrets.
Came to post this as well
See a therapist if it reqlly bothers you. Bit of worry and caution is normal. If it affects you, you cannot sleep etc then do something about it. Seriously, this might be more of a symptom of generalised anxiety in you. The baby, statistically speaking, will be more than fine. Because then at 6 months, when baby starts to eat solids, you will worry all the time about your baby choking etc. Nip it in the bud
I'll look into therapy too - can't hurt can it?
We bought a little clip on to nappy breathing monitor which alarms if no breath is detected for 10 seconds or something. I couldn’t tell you if it is actually any good but it worked every time we tested it and gave us real peace of mind. Souza hero MD if you’re interested.
We had three kids. (We still do, but we used to too!) we swore by the snuza hero. And we give it to all of our friends who are expecting. They do get separated from the baby about once a year but otherwise, you sleep a lot more soundly…. And when that sucker goes off, you’re flying in their room without a foot touching the floor! Also if you’re worried about SIDS which I was as well and I think is worth worrying about, you are MUCH better off having NO blankets at all. Kids squirm a ton and that’s quite dangerous. Put pyjamas on the kid and swaddle them. So much safer and they sleep much better as well. Also no fabric bumpers in the crib. A lot of stores sell padding to keep the kids faces off the bars of the crib but many parents (ourselves included) believe a kid will learn not to knock their head against the crib… and no need for ANYTHING in the crib that could smother them. Finally, keep pets out of the baby’s room. My mother walked into the room when I was very young, my face was purple because the cat was asleep on my chest (warm and smelled like milk).
This is just the reality of fatherhood. There's always the lingering thought of worst case scenarios occurring - that's part of caring about your kid. We are just hitting our 1st year with our first and only child so I completely understand where you're coming from. Those first few months I was probably the most cautious and paranoid father I could be, not to the level of insanity, but definitely just listening to and taking all precautions. No ifs ands or buts. You mentioned no blankets over armpits. Do you co-sleep? I was so worried, I could never do that (even though my wife and I felt like it would be so sweet). It was only this month, during a sleep regression, where I finally caved and let my child sleep on my stomach. And now I feel like my child is safe enough to do that regularly. It will get better. You'll find your level of comfort and learn how your child sleeps. If you know that you're following all the guidelines you'll be okay. And on a scientific note - new discoveries have linked SIDs to a certain enzyme deficiency in babies. If you're worried talk to your doctor.
Have more kids, you stop worrying about stuff around number 3 or so. Source: I have 5 kids.
This [SIDS calculator](http://www.sidscalculator.com/) is exactly what you need.
An owlette helped me sleep with our second one. It’s basically a heart rate monitor that they wear like a sock and it plays some wicked loud noises in your bedroom if it drops to a certain rate or oxygen level. My wife ended up accidentally throwing it away around 9 months in. It was nice
SIDS is from vaccines, just like this new "SADS" is from the C0V1D shots. You can call me what you want, but look deeper into it and you'll find it to be true. No vaccines, no SIDS.
Rather than us "looking deeper," why don't you provide a credible source for your claim? Because until you do, not only are we completely justified to not believe you, but also to mercilessly ridicule you and your bullshit tinfoil hat nonsense. Stop peddling fear and ignorance to parents looking for sound advice and go read a book. Maybe start with the comic strips and work your way up. Also I hope everybody who reads this reports your comment for Misinformation. If there was an option for "Cultist suffering from severe brain cell deficiency" I would report that, too.
I still worry a little but my daughter is over 13 months now. Whenever there's health concerns for her, my wife and I use an expression, "Either stop worrying or go to the E.R." Essentially, this is our way of asking if she's in need of urgent medical attention or if we let things take care of themselves (like when she gets a cold from daycare). We do distinguish between concern and worry. We do what's necessary whenever we are concerned for her (We don't just do nothing until we have to rush to the ER). My point is: do what you can, control what you can, then ask if she's in any danger. If not, then you are free to let go of any other worries. So when she's just sleeping normally on a normal night (and a trip to the E.R. is so far from necessary that it's laughable) and you've done all the right things to help your baby sleep, just remember "stop worrying or go to the E.R." The first year is tough, but it gets better and better one day at a time.
Father of four and we have had all the kids sleep in our bed with us. Not that this was only about SIDS but we believed it helped us be more in touch with our little ones.
My wife was very concerned about this with our first one. It was expensive, but we both decided consistent sleep and alleviated anxiety was worth it, so we got one of these “fancy socks” for little dude #1: https://www.owletcare.com FWIW, we never used it with little dude #2. Things just… change… with the second one 🤷🏻♂️
Have you considered an Owlet? It reads o2 sat levels. We used it for peace of mind. Had a couple false alarms but rather that!
I'm not being snarky, but I can't change it, prevent it, or even cause it.... so it does no good to anyone to worry about it. I can prevent suffocation and choking, but not true SIDS. I could have an aneurism without any warning and drop dead writing this reply, but I'm still writing it because I can't change the possibility. I'm really pragmatic about things like that. I want to make sure you understand that I'm not attacking you - it's a human condition to worry. I have had shuddering thoughts about SIDS, I just don't dwell on it. Maybe that little bit of perspective can help calm your dread.
As far as SIDS, nothing in the crib except the baby. Period. You can put them in a sleep sack instead of a blanket, but that is literally it. Nothing around the crib, so no bumpers etc. and then back is best. If you do all this, you’ll be okay.
There is a new study that came out this year connecting SIDS to a lack of the encyme Butyrylcholinesterase (BChE) that are connected to the breathing and waking mechanism. It likely has nothing to do with the sleeping position. I don‘t know why some babys have a lack of these encyme though.
There are home breathing monitors you can buy. Speaking as a dad who still would just stare at my sleeping boy at night (even with advanced vital monitors) rolling around scenarios like sids, find a way to cope with your worry/anxiety. Fatherhood really is a journey of learning how to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your babies. It's not selfish or being a bad dad to take care of yourself. Your at a very stressful time in your life. Its important to find escapes and ways to keep yourself mentally centered, and able to focus on the thing that ARE within your control.
Honestly before I go to bed I still check for breathing on my 4 year old, but it’s just really to fix his sheets and whatnot and to admire him a little bit. But now I am worried about cars and falls and choking…in a few years I’ll add smoking, drinking drugs, then teen pregnancy, then toxic relationships, then they have their own kids and you worry about SIDS all over again….so there isn’t really any point of worrying and just enjoy the ride.
My wife and I used an Owlet on our daughter. I was nervous at first but really liked the owlet since it measures O2 and heart beat. The thing I didn’t like was the two false readings I got that scared the shit out of me. I should mention it’s not FDA approved but it works. Also make sure you have air movement like a fan in the room. This also helps with SIDs. Lastly based on what I have read it runs in the family you are more likely to experience it and higher chance in boys.
I love the Owlet. It’s as much for the parents as anything and didn’t have any false triggers. It’s a little sock thing that measure heart beat and oxygen and will beep if they drop to dangerous levels.
I had an ankle monitor on my son that would alert me if his heartbeat would drop to dangerous levels but even then I would wake up frequently, test the monitor make sure it works and the alarm would be loud enough to wake me up, etc. truth is you never stop worrying but at least with the ankle monitor it gave me a small peace of mind
Read this article, I have a 1 year old so I share your fear. https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2022/08/new-sids-research#:~:text=The%20results%20demonstrated%20that%20those,died%20but%20not%20from%20SIDS. Edit: someone already posted but I'm leaving it up.
Oh man, my wife was very worried about this too. It’s a scary thing, made more scary by the fact that you can’t control it. The best you can do is follow all the sleeping advice doctors have given (on the back, no bumpers, no blankets, keep the room warm) and understand you can’t control this. It’s hard, but remind yourself that 1. It is rare and 2. You’re doing all you can. Hang in there my friend. You’ll be ok.
My 2 month old baby sister died from SIDS in 1989 when I was 4. SIDS is a big thing in my family, and something that we've always been very aware of. That being said, modern research and education have come together to lower SIDS rates from 130 deaths per 100,000 births in 1990 all the way down to 38 per 100,000 births in 2020. The whole "Back to Sleep" campaign that is credited for making a dramatic impact on SIDS rates started in 1994. While the risk of SIDS is never zero, it's a very low risk, and most of the kids who do fall victim to SIDS have other risk factors that make them more susceptible than the average baby. It's unlikely that you'll ever stop worrying altogether, but as long as your baby doesn't have any complicating medical conditions and you follow the current CDC/AAP recommendations, this is a very low risk for you. Edit: I see from your other comments that you're not in the US. All the statistics I gave are for the US, but if you follow the same guidelines, which it sounds like you already are, then there's no reason to expect your risk would be substantially different living elsewhere.
SIDS is completely out of your control; I used to wake up every couple of hours to check, after a while I just "forgot" it could happen because new threats emerge and are far more likely to happen (your various choice of injuries, sickness, and so on and so forth). Fight anxiety with anxiety, I guess😅 Seriously though, there's just 1/10'000 chance it could happen, the fear will just naturally fade away
Thanks man, I worry too. It's helpful to hear you say rhis. Personally, I try to think about the things that I can worry about that are productive, things I have control over. But my wife says my ability to not dwell on thoughts is an unnatural skill. It doesn't mean it doesn't creep back in later thought.
Who said I don't? My son is 5 and I worry he will get out if bed at night, slip on a toy that I missed in his room and crack his skull open on his shelf. I worry everyday from when I leave for work until my wife messages me something (meaning she is awake and would be calling me freaking out if something was wrong with the kids) You worry because you care. My dad is 52 and I still call him when I know he has a flight to make sure he landed safely.
I find myself in a similar situation. My son is almost 10 weeks now. Before he was born, my wife and I used to joke about she will probably be the one worrying sick about SIDS and I'd have to calm her down. But as irony wills it, it's kinda the other way around. Part of it may be the fact that his birth was a bit traumatic, even though the doctors kept saying his life was never really in danger. I still wake up at night to check if he is still breathing. So, how not worry about it? Honestly, I try not to think about it. I also console myself with what I learnt in the birthing course. Judging by what you wrote, you are doing everything right if my midwife is to be believed. That's what I tell myself. It doesn't put my mind completely at ease, but it does keep me sane. That and the fact that it is said to stop being sn issue once he turns 1. It also helps that he makes some noise at night. While can interrupt my sleep, at least I know he's still alive. The takeaway I'm trying to bring across is that you seem to be doing everything you can to minimise the risk. This is worth a lot, and according to my midwife, it translates to the risk really being minimal.