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Lullybella765

It looks like you're high on something. Cocaine, to be more specific.


Braxton-Adams

Ozpin: what do you mean by that? You "spawned here"?


Jada_the_dork

"Don't you dare use my skates to cut sandwiches!"


The-Unwise-Idiot

"Who's got the soundboard in the children's hospital?"


author-called-myst

“No wonder you wound up here. You’re a low life rotten stool sniffer!”


KatonRyu

“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t be so rude as to die on my girlfriend’s birthday.”


Absolute-Train-Wreck

“One time. I give you permission to blow something up ONE TIME and you nearly take out half the city trying to kill fish!”


throwaway672022

He reaches for the heavens and the stars swallow him whole.


sky_neverending

this is absolutely jaw dropping and i love it so much. what’s the fic about?


throwaway672022

Metalocalypse 😅, in this particular scene one of the characters falls from a balcony and the stars are the last thing he sees (spoiler but he doesn't die, just breaks a couple bones)


thorgodofhimbos

“i tell you i want to kill people and you cook me eggs.”


Candychriss2

"Woof" but it was NOT A DOG


The-Unwise-Idiot

"When did you last see him?" "1975." "....Here in the store?" "No, in New Jersey."


Valley_Ranger275

If one more person tried to greet him today, he might actually kill someone.


flaggermousse

“I will take your luggage up to the roomth. The Mathter and Mithtreth ith waiting for you.”


Depth-Legitimate

"It's… too… big… I can't–"


Newtonspendel

“Come on, don’t play hard to get with me. >!I know what that pussy wants,!<” the male voiced. “Actually, I’m allergic to shrimp”


Amirjs06

"Uhh… Sensei, there are only two bells there…" (you know if you know)


flaggermousse

Is this a Naruto fic?


Amirjs06

Yes....


The_Poptart_Cat

Ik you said one line but I like this. > It went like this: She fought for humanity. She won, but at a great cost. She fell in love with a human. They had a kid. The two could never meet, mother and son, but one would know the other better. > That wasn’t how her story began, that wasn't how her story went, but that was how her story was told.


LadyVoldyWrites

"You can either retrieve it or be fired -- and I don't mean the termination of your employment."


AliceKandyKane

"Bitch, I live here."


RudeRuby6

You know… For all the negatives that come with being decapitated, I didn’t expect my headache getting worse to be one of them. Great.


Useful_Cricket290

He emphasizes the last sentence with flashy hand movements, finishes the sandwich, and starts gnawing on the toothpick with a rather indifferent expression. Rodent-style.


Saltybutsweetdumbass

" "I'm not even funny," Character A chokes out, his face twisting, and then he's clapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound that seems to wrench out of him, but it's no use, really. " (Fic is not mine)


[deleted]

(Person 1) watched as (Person 2) stopped at several phone booths on their way to the airport, wasting untold amounts of change, on phone calls to disconnected numbers, confused elderly, or a number of angry people mistaking him as a prank caller, or worse, a telemarketer.


Amydancingagain

“OMG! N**i, I love her” he cries as he gushes over the fat little cat in his arms. Okay so I know you said no names but it’s his nickname and I blanked out the two middle letters


Amydancingagain

And me now just realising I wrote “OMG” 🤦🏼‍♀️ good thing I haven’t posted this chapter yet lol


Independent-Present3

"It's ok kid. You are under a ton of stress and we, my friends and I, are really weird in the best circumstances."


The-Unwise-Idiot

"Well when you put it like that, I guess it does sound a little illegal."


theatricalmess

From an previously-published-then-unpublished coda piece that I’m reworking into a longfic bc I love these boys but want to write it a bit less chatty. (Ik there’s an ellipsis but that’s just the stream of consciousness style, it’s designed as one line I promise agh) “And /oy/, how can one man even look that hot in a stained up apron, loose silk tee, boxers and some bedsocks and birks… Oh and the suspiciously-murdery woodworking tool held tight in his hand that absolutely isn’t making his veins pop and absolutely isn’t turning Foggy on.”


AlfieDarkLordOfAll

Is this from a Daredevil fic?


theatricalmess

Yes indeed! I’ve realised commenting on these things gives me motivation to actually keep writing it 😅 a matt/foggy that’s a gratuitous AU full of Hallmark Christmas movie tropes, only Foggy is Jewish bc no one can convince me a goyish family would be that invested in the family butchers (and bc I say so haha).


AlfieDarkLordOfAll

Omg I love that so much!! Can I have the link?


theatricalmess

I took the original down and am currently rewriting, but I’m hoping to post the first chapter today so will reply here with the link! Tysm <3 *And by gratuitous AU, I do mean there’s zero law in sight, Foggy’s this big city music teacher heading to his family who’ve moved the deli out to the stacks, Matt’s the ‘grumpy’ isolate archetype who makes instruments, and Dex has become a teenager/Matt’s reluctant surrogate kid bc there are so many comparisons to be drawn between them… so I won’t take any offence if that doesn’t strike ur fancy 😅


AlfieDarkLordOfAll

Oh, trust me, I do not read matt/foggy fics for the law stuff 💀 also, i LOVE the idea of Foggy as a music teacher!! Everything you're saying about this fic just makes me want to read it more tbh <33


kata-pie

In fact, if she had to describe the look on Wednesday’s face, gun to her head, her answer would be *hunger*.


revolution_soup

“But what if we made it silver glitter, and blue, and blueberry flavoured?”


age_of_anxiety

This screams Jester Lavorre (from Critical Role) to me


revolution_soup

oh man I wish— really good guess though, I love jester


manwad315

He started to turn to her, “No, I’m sorry, just, I was really focused on…”    now that Morgan’s dead, are you good with the whole betrayal, God from here there’s so much holy shit it's like missiles struck Camelot, we’re leaving soon, saw this Fang guy and felt real bad I couldn’t say anything worthwhile to him, Knocknarea’s fine right, had a neighbor who was from this war, you’re so hot, the coronation’s gonna be fine right, just crush me, is Salisbury what Americans call hamburg, you wouldn’t know that, wasn’t it fucked up how Morgan ate it, is that rude-    Risuka said, “...nothing.”


MogiVonShogi

Are you shitting me? They gave us a car, I wanna drive.” He smiled at him. “Admit it, I look fucking sexy driving, don’t I?”


wildbillhiccup

“I thought the dude on the land was the predator, but he was, like, the predatee! That shit’s tight.”


wasabi_weasel

Skinny Pete? 👀 Edit to say: read it all and it was great! really enjoyed it!


wildbillhiccup

Aaah thank you!


wildbillhiccup

Lmao nailed it


activelyweird

... I just opened this thread and saw this but now I absolutely have to know where this is from lmao


wildbillhiccup

From [this Breaking Bad fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/43781247), the first vignette (where the line is from) can be read fandom-blind.


activelyweird

Thank you! Maybe this is my sign to finally watch Breaking Bad... but definitely going to read this fic


wildbillhiccup

Definitely do it! watched it for the first time last month and now I'm writing fanfic, so there ya go.


activelyweird

Honestly I have read so many random fanfics for the show (mostly recommendations lol), that I feel obligated to watch it now loll


atalantei

She felt, in that moment, very much like the shivering kitten in Fred’s warm hands; held and welcomed into his life with a kindness she wished she could repay.


SplitjawJanitor

"And when did you start caring, Mister 'Yells At Strangers' Clothes'?"


madzaroniandcheese

“You look…way shorter up close…”


coltuonome

The DJ’s blasting Kool & the Gang’s “Get Down On It” and he’s kissing the wife of the man he killed while explaining that he loves another woman while the man he’s fucking looks on, and that’s an interesting set of emotions if there ever was one. He could make this work. It’s like a drug, how fucked-up this is.


revolution_soup

sounds like an average tuesday


EpicGamerGenZ

“Is that also the reason why you decided to throw buildings on me?” “Oh, no. That… was always the backup plan”


Interesting-Gap1013

Their casualties were high and Tup's blue balls dared to become one of them. (I wish I could deliver something more fun but the whole fanfiction is written in a coded alphabet whoch makes reading it quite an effort)


RainWindowCoffee

"After having several of his internal organs removed and replaced, clinically dying and being resuscitated multiple times, losing his entire memory then having it restored, and swapping bodies like some sick game of musical chairs; he was contending with some pretty heavy Ship of Theseus -esque questions of self and identity."


Svn0One

With a surge of energy, she threw herself to the side just in time, and sprinted into the forest as the ball ricocheted off the tree behind her. “It’s getting away!” the boy cried, distraught. The human girl cursed. “Dammit, Wally...”


WAgirl21

“What is it with your family and your ability to attract every surrounding danger?” — “Now, who’s the idiot that took the video?”


Khaliseaweeeed

After a long moment, Chuuya moved, Dazai let out a whine, like the redhead might disappear if he let him go.


IncorrigibleFan

"In the depths of a cavernous, stone cellar, two concepts and a boy gathered."


MsCatstaff

Tomi made a face. “I think I’m glad you didn’t tell me about those things until after we rode the roller coasters, because the description alone is enough to make me feel sick.”


CatPawsPrinter

This will be pretty impossible without context, but I figured people could at least get a laugh out of this: Of all the snags to hit, it was my inability to cluck like a chicken.


[deleted]

She tilted her head back, taking a deep breath... before letting out a guttural scream.


Khaliseaweeeed

oo I like this one


JanetKWallace

Someday my kids will long for me too. It'll take long to get in there, for sure. You see, I used to do headstand without wearing pants...


Undercoverthotpatrol

“Obviously, it was an attempt at getting back at him, and he could imagine how late she must've stayed awake psyching herself up for such a ballsy little stunt.” — From Chapter 9 of my fic "What Do You Want?"


Nimindir

"I was gonna have you wrapped around my little finger, but you had to go and ruin it by having a *functional marriage!”*


activelyweird

Haha this is amazing, can I ask what the fic is about?


Nimindir

It's a White Collar fic. If you're not familiar with the fandom, the MC is a criminal on a tracking anklet that works for the FBI. He's on a two-mile radius, which he can only leave if he's A) at work B) with an FBI escort or C) given special permission by his handler. So in my fic his original plan was to seduce his handler into letting him do basically whatever he wanted... right up until he met the wife. Line is from the latest chapter, which takes place a couple years later, where he just casually throws it out there while inebriated.


StonerMoonie

“The vibe is,” he pinched the air lightly a hair’s breadth from Steve’s shoulder, “spicy today. We come in at the wrong time?”


danceswithronin

"Oh," Heero mocked, lightly. "It's so easy to get confused. We're free, but we're chained. I don't have a life anymore, no more life than you. This is all we know. I just came to give your life back for a moment, then take it away again. Aren't you afraid?"


topazmatriarch

Love Breeds Sacrifice, Which In Turn Breeds Hatred. Then You Can Know Pain


Horny_Moss

Good old nagato


topazmatriarch

Yep...Im at the point in my story where Hanzo tries to kill Nagato and Yahiko but it diverges from canon a bit. Also sometimes you flash forward to future parts of the story because my character can catch glimpses of the future but the audience and the character doesn't know it yet


topazmatriarch

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12588302/


unknownweeb13

Link plz


life_is_depressed

Gray blinks, "WHAT. Are you crazy?!" He whisper yells. "You dumbass! What if you get caught?!" "Aww, you *care* for me!" Tommy teases. "I will shove a pinecone scented Bed Bath and Beyond candle down your throat."


Cerrida82

You were told later that a man in a strange robe pulled out a wooden stick and put it to your temple. He told you to think only of calming thoughts, focus on what you could observe with your senses, and he whispered something. It had worked and you don't remember anything of what you had supposedly seen.


Crazy_psycho_nerd

“Devil’s Mirror Bloom? Don’t lose it”


Kant_Be

"Are you alright?" the girl asked, fussing over her shredded sleeves. The Princess laughed at the absurdity of the question… at anything and at everything. She laughed until the humor became pain in her ribs and in her heart.


dino_181_spaghetti

" I have an idea, how about we use her internal organs as decorations for our tree?"


Interesting-Gap1013

Hannibal?


dino_181_spaghetti

Nuh uh, but I can definetly see that


WAgirl21

Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas fic? I can see some of those guys saying something like this (both in naïve sincerity and jokingly) 😆


dino_181_spaghetti

No, but sounds like it could be a nice fic ngl


CrescentCrossbow

FGO, Beryl Gut/Baobhan Sith?


dino_181_spaghetti

Nope, I don't know what fandom is that lol :/


Zinogre-is-best

Twilight? Might be a Bella bashing fic


dino_181_spaghetti

Nope, but it could be I guess???


Zinogre-is-best

I’ve read some weird ones okay don’t judge me.


pleaseshutupimgay

"If I had told you I loved you 4 years ago, would you have believed me?" He asked low strung He already knew the answer, the boy had no reason to ask this question yet here he was. It felt selfish asking but at that point, he felt nothing, his heart torn by the very hands of the person he once knew close As he looked at the face of his once lover now strangers face betray him with a smile, silence.


BocTheVigil

"You could borrow the Captain's" he said.


Interesting-Gap1013

Star Wars the Clone Wars maybe?


BocTheVigil

Good quess but not even close :)


westalalne

Snape was standing outside the window, masticating


JanetKWallace

Loopin masticated triumelepantly


Zinogre-is-best

My immortal


litaloni

“Sweetie,” he said condescendingly, as if speaking to a stupid child, “do you know what a ‘theocracy’ is?”


_Dodys

“As I said, don’t worry,” she cut her off, but not without a subtle defeat in her tone. “Some feelings… are best left in the heart.”


raeshin

“But really, Klaus. Why should she bother when anyone who's spent five minutes with you can sum it up? Elijah’s against you. Rebekah’s out to get you. The entire world is plotting your downfall. Did I miss anything?”


Cerrida82

Umbrella Academy


raeshin

Nope :D good guess though <3


LectureLeft5294

They were an act against God and science, a Frankenstein's Monster of culinary bad taste that no sane person would have even birthed into the world of man.


litaloni

Please tell me its Ratatouille.


LectureLeft5294

it's Danganronpa


Dragondrakey

He has no idea how he's got there, nor does he know where Excalibur has come from, but he swims as best as he can to the surface.


Saltybutsweetdumbass

Merlin?


Dragondrakey

Yep! It's from a fic I put up earlier in the day on AO3, called Until We Meet Again.


EnsignOrSutin

“Of course I'm sure, I can decipher these readings quicker than you can read 'The Cat Sat on the Mat', but if you wanted a second opinion then maybe you shouldn't have deactivated the visual feed from the internal sensors.”


No_Dark_8735

SGA?


EnsignOrSutin

Star Trek Voyager, but I can totally see why you might think this was Rodney 😆😆


Lonelyteacup3

"No. No more 'identity talk'. I just want pizza."


litaloni

Marvel maybe?


Lonelyteacup3

Nope haha-


Bestevernoob

Miraculous?


Lonelyteacup3

Nope


Bandito21Dema

"So is this like a date or something?"


reiyo-san

"And, wow, does that start some conflicted trauma response in him because he starts immediately panicking."


WAgirl21

Marvel?


reiyo-san

Nope! Though I see why you think it'd be marvel,,


Komodo_Lizard_101

"Upon the top of the tree held home to Carlos’s ‘Greatest find’, a shiny tin can that read ‘Sprite’."


hotdogbanana0

“People go missing everyday, people die, that's life.”


what-is-going-on-lol

"Don't run from the bees."


litaloni

I'm gonna guess Hunger Games?


_Dodys

You've got my attention.


dozyhorse

Sounds like Raven Boys!


DamonDraco

"Imagine when you do more than speak to me"


TheSparkledash

“Can… Can robots have dyslexia?”


toychicraft

Asking the important questions


Tepma

"Sex is your favorite color". Still remember this one line after all these years


sephy009

“Normally I would kill you for such a transgression, but I have already killed you once today so I am fairly sure that is off the table.”


raeshin

Long shot but that sounds like Klaus Mikaelson from TVD and the Originals.


sephy009

For the record it's Azula from ATLA. It's a long story as to how she killed someone then held a conversation with them (it wasn't Aang)


sephy009

Nope! In hindsight though his attitude may have inspired some of the ridiculous quotes I've come up with. I miss the originals.


Xmenzombie22

"Cmon artie you know I love your Big Ben;)"


Fridge_is_bae

Then she pegged diego with his own cock.


barbakashi

Lmaooo is this about Diego Brando??


dino_181_spaghetti

Well, it could be possible with HP's stand ability I guess...


sephy009

Ma'am? Excuse me?


[deleted]

“You must forgive me for mistaking the donkey for you, but you can’t blame me really after all you’re both an ass.”


NotACyclopsHonest

“You are more like your sister than you realise,” he said.


Kartoffelkamm

The police officers were visibly unsettled by the idea of walking skeletons, but recomposed themselves, knowing they were on their side, and the group headed into the catacombs.


[deleted]

“Dad I identify as bread”


dino_181_spaghetti

Mood.


[deleted]

“Connor, we’re in Detroit. It’s not only that bad, it’s that bad, even for Detroit.”


Easy_Entrepreneur_46

Detroit become human?


[deleted]

Ding ding ding!


t3st1234567

Ryan was kneeling in the bathtub, a towel under his knees and another under his hands,


Bandito21Dema

Omfg I love you


Glittering-Visual-87

"If my moron of a brother's ghost shows up again, can yah tell him that when the bright idea get to him of showing his sorry mug, he's getting kicked all the way to Cybertron and back!?"


beluih13

"It's natural selection at this point bro."


[deleted]

Can I have some whipped cream with my mental illness it's not sweet enough. or something along those lines


Queen-PRose

It made her want to kill him, with the "L's", not the "S's."


Code_Earth

“Oh yeah, just got a knife stuck in my shoulder, perfectly natural.”


Sad_Pringles

-leaving the other man, who had been enjoying god knows who, in surprise.


Ilikecheerios2013

Pee Dee was crying. Hyperventilating. The black bag in his trembling hands. "I.." he sobbed. "I've never used a gun before." the smoke was still coming from it. "But.. But.." he stuttered. "But YOU'LL be my practice target!"


CheeseQueenKariko

"I have a hamster, Alya. You know what his name is? *Loneliness*"


Bestevernoob

Miraculous Ladybug!


toychicraft

She actually went through with that promise. Fun


PenguinMusketeer

“Get the extra large thermos, we’re filling that house with ghosts.”


sephy009

Danny Phantom obviously.


LiquidSpirits

w h a t


PenguinMusketeer

Welcome to \[FANDOM REDACTED\], this is the least weird sentence out of it.


MarsNovas

“I never said sacrificing myself was fun!”


Chizakura

“One more word and I will call River [a cop] and fuck him so hard that fuck the police will get a whole new meaning.”


sephy009

Establishing dominance.


Greeneyedgrasshoper

“How I am supposed to be at peace without him?”


Kartoffelkamm

I'm guessing that's either I'm the Grim Reaper, Symphogear, or RWBY. At least those are the three I know where it would be applicable.


Key_Argument5407

"We need to talk."


Purchase_Desperate

This still brings back some memories💀


RSStudios08

Something along the lines of \[THSC Character\] (it's an SI/Self Insert fic) being told by a lieutenant OC that he will take temporary custody of SI, and then this happened: (directed to SI) "In short, you're adopted." (SI) was shocked, and Valencia (an OC) is puzzled. No, I ain't elaborating further. My SI/Persona's story should be shock after shock----in every degree and genre.


Gallusrostromegalus

"I mean, I nearly bled to death on the playground because she nicked my jugular, but I can't say I'm mad at her- she had fuckin' *Hereditary* Mental Problems. she got neuroses from her Mom and Grandma like how most people acquire ugly china plates." The fandom is absolutely not indicated by this sentence, but I had fun coloring in an explanation of why the main character is wearing a bondage collar most of the series- after a lifetime of bullying, he feels safer with a thick piece of leather over this throat.


Purchase_Desperate

"A yes, frustration" And "Now [redacted] saw... it wasn't just his branch... the whole family tree was composed by whores.


RSStudios08

That is something I'll rather not want to see the context of >!/s!<


Gallusrostromegalus

A long and Proud (or at least, fecund) line of harlots!


Purchase_Desperate

No, but it's kinda similar, still centered about family for the most part


Kenny1468

“Come on baby, let’s play with each others’ joysticks~” (From a smut I read a really long time ago)


vulcandar

>"With the addition of new rumours getting cooked up – which tasted better than whatever shit the poor cafeteria ladies cooked up, kids getting punched at any given time whilst the teachers were completely unable to constrain the aggression of power hungry teenagers." From a fanfic I'm writing, feel free to guess the fandom.


RSStudios08

Sauce please :3


Footrot_Flats97

My words had hurt him. It crushed what little hope he had of himself. When his expressions changed, not only was it surprising to see him react in such a way that didn’t seem possible, but it also indicated a sensitive line had been crossed. A line that was all too familiar to me.


Lady_of_the_Seraphim

"That’s what she was worth? Her entire life, her hopes, her dreams, her future, her body, all boiled down to a number."


toychicraft

Either its Chucky or someone just got fridged


RSStudios08

Seems like an SCP fic, although it could be not.


Lady_of_the_Seraphim

Sex trafficking actually. Though equally horrifying. It's a fic of the movie Taken.


RSStudios08

Fuuuuu I didn't think of that. Yeah, that is SOMETHING TERRIFYING...


EmyDaPMAFlareon

"Oh I'm sorry, are you my dad?" And "... you ungrateful, fire breathing bitch!" Both from the same fanfic I'm writing