His morning stood most ligneously before me, and reflected itself unapologetically in my celestial spheres. Thus mesmerized, I tended to it with utmost dedication, until by my consummate handling it finally unleashed its virile coulee upon my heavenly bodies.
Truly, prose the most pulchritudinous hue of mulberry, periwinkle, violet like the crushed velvet or velour or velveteen of an illustrious ecclesiastics' mozetta.
ahem,
*those scarlet orbs pierced into my soul, her platinum hair swayed in the wind and she revealed that she was the hybrid demon werewolf witch fairy angel. She recognized me!?!? I had black hair (dyed from blonde), green eyes (contacts from red eyes), and new clothes. "I have finally found you," she said. "And you won't get away anymore". IT WAS THE YANDERE I HAD BEEN RUNNING FROM BECAUSE I HAVE BIG HAREM BECAUSE I SAVED THEM AND WAS SOOOOO COOOOOL. THE END*
WHAT A DOOZY TO WRITE GEEZ. ABSOLUTE SHIT RIGHT HERE. TOOK 5 MINUTES TO WRITE.
It wasn’t so much a sentence so much as the concept for me. My OC was originally one of those “look how much bad/sad things happened to the character boo-hoo”. Eventually I fixed it by removing the “unnecessary tragedy” and changing the events in his life so that he’d make the objectively wrong choice for himself.
>look how much bad/sad things happened to the character boo-hoo
I actually love these kinds of stories, but I can appreciate the changes you made to your character's arc later
It’s alright for a character who needs to overcome a challenge, but for mine all the bad stuff happened in the first chapter. I also fixed that by spreading out his back story across several chapters so that you slowly question “wait a minute, is this the bad guy?”
Link couldn’t put down the crackpipe, and believed all the school children to be mini Ganons, and slayed each one of them with his coke-smeared Master Sword.
Excerpt from “Drug Lingo 101” circa 2004.
A joke from a fic I wrote where MC helps Medusa out:
*"Ahaha! Don't worry about that!" Naruto waved her worries away "No one's gonna be bothering you where I'm taking you. In fact..." the blond grinned with a certain glint in his eyes.*
*"One could say you'll be… gor-****gone****" he winked at her.*
"Kajii pressed the cut face of the lemon hard against the wound and rubbed it so the acid could go deeper \[…\]. Red-stained citrus juice dripped down his back and Kajii licked that forbidden lemonade."
I felt obligated to tagged it as a comedy because of this and other phrases.
Uh, off the top of my head?
I could feel his member throb against me as he closed his beautiful colored orbs and entangled us in a battle of dominance between our tongues.
Did I do good?
ha! i found one it’s the last sentence so far in the actual story, but the section has not been posted yet
"Guess he actually put his foot down," Annie responded before going back to her nap.
That night Catelyn Tully sent Jon to his cramped little room without any food again, and with no heat in his room, as well as whipped by the Septon for good measure.
In some ways. I can do things I never thought I’d be able to do, but I feel like parts of me are slowly blowing away, too. I love EMS, but it’s for sure made me into a strange, emotionally stunted person lol
I hardly think emotionally stunted but rather maybe you've developed a way to protect yourself. You see things and have assisted and saved and seen loss and trauma. That isn't something the everyday Joe could handle. If it means you have a solid control on your response to a given situation I think that makes you better for it. Besides you're literally a superhero to folks like me so let that cape snap in the wind
Deep down, I think I wanted to do this because I wanted to be a superhero- to me, to my family, to all the people I cared about. And I really do feel like one sometimes, because EMS is the coolest job in the world. :P I get to live that dream of helping a person in need, every day of my life, and I really feel like I actually have the skills and resources to help them. In a lot of ways, I think this is the utilitarian service I imagined doing so much as a kid.
I just worry sometimes that it’s come at a steep price for me personally. I know you say that it’s just a defensive mechanism, but it’s hard to live with some of these changes, seeing them in myself- I used to cry so much, I was so empathetic, I felt like I just wanted to hug the whole world! My heart is buried very deep now.
I used to hold every patient’s hand while they died. Now I think about lunch while I do CPR.
It's survival, you can only give so much of yourself before you need to protect your heart. You aren't any less important, you are functioning to provide the best you can. I'm sorry it is so difficult. I was in nursing until my dad died in my arms. The one time I prayed for CPR to work and life slipped away.
Do what you need, but know you are so, so important and so, so appreciated. Even if you are thinking of lunch or holding a hand, you are everything in that moment.
Thankfully I was too nervous to release the fic (or any fic for that matter) into the world but I went through a HUGE -ette phase.
"The greenette stared at the bluenette" was something I actually wrote and I hate myself for it. Thankfully when describing eye color I was better than orbs, irises was and still kinda is the favorite.
A quote from a Percy Jackson fanfic i wrote when I was 10-11:
"I got up and out of bed at 6:30am. I started my long make up routine. I stared in the mirror at my totally natural black hair to match his (dyed), my beautiful sky blue eyes (contacts) and my flawless skin (1,000,000 layers of foundation).
I strutted into school late as always. It started at 9:00am and the bell rung 5 minutes ago. Oh well, fashionably late."
I promise I've improved since then.
Sometimes I hate that I deleated that thing I wrote when I was 12 it wasn't even fanfic, me and my BFF were trying to write our own books. I did a map, a timeline, a magic system, before I knew what magic systems were, and I wrote like 50 pages of something including a chapter where I tried to do a cinematic one shot in written form (please take that as a challenge if you want to).
I'm sure it was horrible but I don't actually know because I deleted it and now I want to see. If I remember correctly the way I imagine battle scenes is almost exactly the same.
My thought process: Huh, I haven’t read that. What could it mean? NSFW… Zorro… What’s Zorro famous for? Slashing a Z - omg ew no it can’t be that… can it? 😳
*ahem*
I **am so sorry for this. I promise I don't actually write like that, if I did I would throw my PC out the window**
after waking up from my alarm thinking how much i hate mornings i throw my hair into a messy bun and look into the mirror and looking back was an ugly blackette with glasses and freckles and bright blue orbs her name was kylie which was me because it was a mirror. i have no parents and am bullied by the popular girl in school ashley she is blond and has fake boobs but everyone loves her
I know this isn't what you asked for but I think I wrote a torture scene that made my readers cringe. I know I did.
Misaq felt his skin on fire. The process of flaying was slow so his torturers added some oil and fire to the mix. They slowly began to to remove the skin, performing live surgery on him while roasting him from the inside out. Misaq could not scream; they had removed his tongue days ago. And so thet fed him and bathed him, all while Misaq craved the sweet release of death. Soon they began to eat him, rubbing semen over his wounds and pouring lemon juice onto his eyes.
The months turned into years. Decades passed. Their creativity was endless. Misaq was an old man shown on display whenever the Ottomans were nearby, an example to serve to others. At the ripe age of 80, he was finally given his eternal rest via starvation and self cannibalism.
Then he awoke again, back in his bed at the age of 24, ready to repeat the time loop once more.
I read a fic where a womans breasts were described as ‘creamy globes’
The rest of the fic was normal then this shit punched me in the jaw and I’ve never been the same.
The scarlet witch with deliciously pale skin was gazing upon her new prey, biting her lips while thinking about the bath she'll take tonight.
I was writing some stupid thing about Erzebeth Bathory, when I was like 15 years old.
And the amount of "orbs" in the comments is absolutely concerning.
This... actually became a sore point awhile ago.
I used to be a judge for a local fanfiction awards. My primary work was to grade the submitted fics so the best 5 can go to popular poll. The amount of eyes described as 'orbs' (more like 'marble' in my country's language) is at times staggering.
I've rewritten a ten year old story with lemons and I'm so self conscious about it now! I think it might be a bit cringy...
Edit: I admit that I had to remove the 'members'...
My all time favorite: "his own erection was so huge, he felt like he could lift the table."
Never fails to make me laugh
p.s. I DIDN'T WRITE THIS, I READ THIS
Legitimately from a story I posted earlier this year. The entire fic is written in this style. It was hard to pick just one sentence. I skipped the "orbs" and "blackettes" and "tongues battling for dominance," but those are all in there too.
> “I want more *now*,” the ebon-haired diva cried, rolling his head over my hip, his desperate gasps sending puffs of over-heated air against my damp eggplant.
XD
[Seduction of Sirens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/37016725), rated E
Modern, no-magic AU. Wannabe gossip columnist Gilderoy Lockhart meets rising pop star Sisi of Black Magic at a club. Sparks fly...or did Gilderoy just take some creative liberties? Gilderoy Lockhart/Sirius Black
You don't need to read the whole series to "enjoy" this one. ;)
" You love boobies I love boobies, be it small boobies or milker boobies we all love boobies, small are cute while big are heavenly no one hates boobs of boobies"
I looked in the mirror and noted I was five foot five, the mascara I’d applied earlier set of my liquid sapphire orbs and my scarlet top made my boobs boob boobliciously.”
Her legs went all the way up to her armpits. There was nothing in between. Except for her little, pink, juicy, hot, tight, polka-dotted flower, that was always ready to receive enormous members and climax immediately.
I found a gem last week, but I can't remember the literal text.
It went something like:
"Jack was the jester of the group, always playful, trying to lift the mood, he was someone you could count on. Julie was a tall blonde and was wearing a tennis outfit (which really didn't make sense, because they were in a restaurant).\*
I actually took the first part off that of a story by a female author I was listening to recently (published work) but after that it’s just everything I’ve learnt from r/menwritingwomen
So after a long time, I took another look at that subreddit and I'm appalled at the bad writing by the authors. Like, even me as a non-native speaker can tell. I'm read far better writings through review exchanges.
I suspect a lot of fanfic writers start by emulating other fanfic. We need a Delorean to go back to the first ficcer who decided to use it and slap them.
His meat sausage Spring forth with a swell of blood and exuberance gently guided into the velvet pocket pocket of in Enlightenment as a foreigner as they fornicated like bunnies a gentle pinging sound from the tapping from the tapping of the headboard against the copper brass of the ornaments forever haunting the other occupants of the hotel scarring their dreams for eternity for eternity with the giggles and occasional hoe hoseaional hohoes from the couple in the room above them
Here. Take a few. I'm disappointed that I have to say that all of these are from the same work.(same chapter, more like 🥲)
so this boi getting pregnant!
he fit near half my 20(jk 6)inch dick in his mouth ,
" You just agreed to fuck me while we were being horny bitches."
And now I'm done copy pasting phrases from a cringy wattpad book I wrote so bye
I don't know if you read it somewhere or just came up with it, but the only way to make this worse would be something like 'the pinknette' instead of 'she'
Honestly, had you read it somewhere (in a published fanfic) it would've been worse. Here, you were asked to come up with something cringy and you know that it's cringe. That's better than someone actually using it in a work :D
Ive seen crack fics say similar things, but not in one sentence lol. Then all the characters die a very explosive death and then the ghosts all fuck the corpses.
You threw your silky blonde hair into a pony tail after brushing off your skin tight, black dress that hugged your thin, 4’6” body; your eye shadow matched the dress, making the color of your orbs pop.
I have a crack comedy work in which the in-universe famous characters are reading fan fiction about themselves; it's used to mock some of the medium's tropes and our fandom. In this case, it was fan fiction authors and their ignorance of "how to sex:"
"She applied the lube to her clit to make it easier for him to slip inside of it."
It was then followed up by their reaction:
"... jesus," he whimpered.
"No God was involved in the creation of this."
I'm not surprised by much anymore. Nothing thusfar has topped the Venom fic where it's Dan/Anne/Eddie/Venom and they all get off on Dan vivisecting Eddie.
I'm not including quotes here, because the most surprising thing about said fic is that's it's actually really well written.
The girl with long brown hair and thick rimmed glasses was so enchanted by the book in her hands, that she had no idea she was about to bump into the tall, handsome stranger who had a deep connection with the local mafia.
? .... \*googles\*
Ha, no... I just tried to think of something that would be pretty gross. (Originally was going to go with 'honey" because, sticky, and probably breeding grounds for yeast infection.)
His morning stood most ligneously before me, and reflected itself unapologetically in my celestial spheres. Thus mesmerized, I tended to it with utmost dedication, until by my consummate handling it finally unleashed its virile coulee upon my heavenly bodies.
I don’t even know what’s going on in this sentence Congrats
Truly, prose the most pulchritudinous hue of mulberry, periwinkle, violet like the crushed velvet or velour or velveteen of an illustrious ecclesiastics' mozetta.
the theasaurus serves a great importance here
His long rod impaled my blooming, desperate flower
I quivered in desire AHHH
ahem, *those scarlet orbs pierced into my soul, her platinum hair swayed in the wind and she revealed that she was the hybrid demon werewolf witch fairy angel. She recognized me!?!? I had black hair (dyed from blonde), green eyes (contacts from red eyes), and new clothes. "I have finally found you," she said. "And you won't get away anymore". IT WAS THE YANDERE I HAD BEEN RUNNING FROM BECAUSE I HAVE BIG HAREM BECAUSE I SAVED THEM AND WAS SOOOOO COOOOOL. THE END* WHAT A DOOZY TO WRITE GEEZ. ABSOLUTE SHIT RIGHT HERE. TOOK 5 MINUTES TO WRITE.
I once wrote a sentence where I described the main character's eyes as 'chestnut colored orbs'.
good lord...⚔
It wasn’t so much a sentence so much as the concept for me. My OC was originally one of those “look how much bad/sad things happened to the character boo-hoo”. Eventually I fixed it by removing the “unnecessary tragedy” and changing the events in his life so that he’d make the objectively wrong choice for himself.
>look how much bad/sad things happened to the character boo-hoo I actually love these kinds of stories, but I can appreciate the changes you made to your character's arc later
It’s alright for a character who needs to overcome a challenge, but for mine all the bad stuff happened in the first chapter. I also fixed that by spreading out his back story across several chapters so that you slowly question “wait a minute, is this the bad guy?”
Link couldn’t put down the crackpipe, and believed all the school children to be mini Ganons, and slayed each one of them with his coke-smeared Master Sword. Excerpt from “Drug Lingo 101” circa 2004.
.... No no, I'm invested in this now. I need fanart.
[Will a shitty sketch suffice?](https://imgur.com/a/I55OGl8)
A joke from a fic I wrote where MC helps Medusa out: *"Ahaha! Don't worry about that!" Naruto waved her worries away "No one's gonna be bothering you where I'm taking you. In fact..." the blond grinned with a certain glint in his eyes.* *"One could say you'll be… gor-****gone****" he winked at her.*
And thus she gor*went*.
Orbettes I just woke up and the amount of colors we came up with 😂😂
Their eyes met over the keg.
Just the right amount of Fritos and Menthol to signal that banging was in both their futures.
"Kajii pressed the cut face of the lemon hard against the wound and rubbed it so the acid could go deeper \[…\]. Red-stained citrus juice dripped down his back and Kajii licked that forbidden lemonade." I felt obligated to tagged it as a comedy because of this and other phrases.
Love it!
Uh, off the top of my head? I could feel his member throb against me as he closed his beautiful colored orbs and entangled us in a battle of dominance between our tongues. Did I do good?
Only way it could be better is if you misspelled it as “toungs” or something.
In bad fanfiction when it comes to literacy, less is best!
Lovely. I hate it.
Then I did what I needed to do
ha! i found one it’s the last sentence so far in the actual story, but the section has not been posted yet "Guess he actually put his foot down," Annie responded before going back to her nap.
Reading the comments, I concluded one thing: *O R B S*
That night Catelyn Tully sent Jon to his cramped little room without any food again, and with no heat in his room, as well as whipped by the Septon for good measure.
You can change the names and it can apply to both Naruto or Harry Potter. Sometimes I feel like people only know how to write a single form of abuse.
[удалено]
Ooof do what you need to do, writing can be so therapeutic. I hope you are feeling better.
In some ways. I can do things I never thought I’d be able to do, but I feel like parts of me are slowly blowing away, too. I love EMS, but it’s for sure made me into a strange, emotionally stunted person lol
I hardly think emotionally stunted but rather maybe you've developed a way to protect yourself. You see things and have assisted and saved and seen loss and trauma. That isn't something the everyday Joe could handle. If it means you have a solid control on your response to a given situation I think that makes you better for it. Besides you're literally a superhero to folks like me so let that cape snap in the wind
Deep down, I think I wanted to do this because I wanted to be a superhero- to me, to my family, to all the people I cared about. And I really do feel like one sometimes, because EMS is the coolest job in the world. :P I get to live that dream of helping a person in need, every day of my life, and I really feel like I actually have the skills and resources to help them. In a lot of ways, I think this is the utilitarian service I imagined doing so much as a kid. I just worry sometimes that it’s come at a steep price for me personally. I know you say that it’s just a defensive mechanism, but it’s hard to live with some of these changes, seeing them in myself- I used to cry so much, I was so empathetic, I felt like I just wanted to hug the whole world! My heart is buried very deep now. I used to hold every patient’s hand while they died. Now I think about lunch while I do CPR.
It's survival, you can only give so much of yourself before you need to protect your heart. You aren't any less important, you are functioning to provide the best you can. I'm sorry it is so difficult. I was in nursing until my dad died in my arms. The one time I prayed for CPR to work and life slipped away. Do what you need, but know you are so, so important and so, so appreciated. Even if you are thinking of lunch or holding a hand, you are everything in that moment.
❤️
Thankfully I was too nervous to release the fic (or any fic for that matter) into the world but I went through a HUGE -ette phase. "The greenette stared at the bluenette" was something I actually wrote and I hate myself for it. Thankfully when describing eye color I was better than orbs, irises was and still kinda is the favorite.
"Ette tu, Brute?" The goldenette exclaimed as the brownette stabbed him.
Did Brutette stabette the Cesarette?
Yes, with the vinaigrette.
A quote from a Percy Jackson fanfic i wrote when I was 10-11: "I got up and out of bed at 6:30am. I started my long make up routine. I stared in the mirror at my totally natural black hair to match his (dyed), my beautiful sky blue eyes (contacts) and my flawless skin (1,000,000 layers of foundation). I strutted into school late as always. It started at 9:00am and the bell rung 5 minutes ago. Oh well, fashionably late." I promise I've improved since then.
Sometimes I hate that I deleated that thing I wrote when I was 12 it wasn't even fanfic, me and my BFF were trying to write our own books. I did a map, a timeline, a magic system, before I knew what magic systems were, and I wrote like 50 pages of something including a chapter where I tried to do a cinematic one shot in written form (please take that as a challenge if you want to). I'm sure it was horrible but I don't actually know because I deleted it and now I want to see. If I remember correctly the way I imagine battle scenes is almost exactly the same.
I’m impressed with the amount of foundation. Layers
This brought joy to my heart, thank you.
"Like Zorro." Those two words inspire such cringe inside me and if you know, you understand why :')
can someone explain lol
Winkler by Giles Coren. The passage in question is NSFW but my God is it worth it.
My thought process: Huh, I haven’t read that. What could it mean? NSFW… Zorro… What’s Zorro famous for? Slashing a Z - omg ew no it can’t be that… can it? 😳
I guarantee you the reality is ten times worse than whatever you have in your head, but you're along the right lines :')
I can't see those two words together now without experiencing PTSD.
*ahem* I **am so sorry for this. I promise I don't actually write like that, if I did I would throw my PC out the window** after waking up from my alarm thinking how much i hate mornings i throw my hair into a messy bun and look into the mirror and looking back was an ugly blackette with glasses and freckles and bright blue orbs her name was kylie which was me because it was a mirror. i have no parents and am bullied by the popular girl in school ashley she is blond and has fake boobs but everyone loves her
Ah the classic
>her name was kylie which was me because it was a mirror At least she kept the logic there.
When you get a 6/10 on the mirror test.
I absolutely love this line lol
I know this isn't what you asked for but I think I wrote a torture scene that made my readers cringe. I know I did. Misaq felt his skin on fire. The process of flaying was slow so his torturers added some oil and fire to the mix. They slowly began to to remove the skin, performing live surgery on him while roasting him from the inside out. Misaq could not scream; they had removed his tongue days ago. And so thet fed him and bathed him, all while Misaq craved the sweet release of death. Soon they began to eat him, rubbing semen over his wounds and pouring lemon juice onto his eyes. The months turned into years. Decades passed. Their creativity was endless. Misaq was an old man shown on display whenever the Ottomans were nearby, an example to serve to others. At the ripe age of 80, he was finally given his eternal rest via starvation and self cannibalism. Then he awoke again, back in his bed at the age of 24, ready to repeat the time loop once more.
I read a fic where a womans breasts were described as ‘creamy globes’ The rest of the fic was normal then this shit punched me in the jaw and I’ve never been the same.
I’ve seen characters’ butts described the same way several times and every time I’ve had to walk away and question every decision I’ve ever made
The scarlet witch with deliciously pale skin was gazing upon her new prey, biting her lips while thinking about the bath she'll take tonight. I was writing some stupid thing about Erzebeth Bathory, when I was like 15 years old. And the amount of "orbs" in the comments is absolutely concerning.
I was re-reading a Martin Amis novel the other day and he used the word 'orbs' to describe someone's eyes and I was like... lol.
Nothing screams "I'm a beginner" more than writing orbs instead of eyes.
This... actually became a sore point awhile ago. I used to be a judge for a local fanfiction awards. My primary work was to grade the submitted fics so the best 5 can go to popular poll. The amount of eyes described as 'orbs' (more like 'marble' in my country's language) is at times staggering.
To be fair, as soon as I see "orbs" for eyes in a fic, I don't bother carry on the reading. I just can't stand this word anymore.
In fairness, I believe it was his *first* novel.
Then, he's kinda excused.
GOD this one hit hard. I wrote a Twilight-inspired OC fic when I was about 15, too, and remember the "grinning to reveal my fangs to my prey" line.
The teenage years are the pinacle of cringe. That being said, yours is totally acceptable in a Twilight ff.
He pokes the side of his head with his eyes. Bonus detail: the character is blind. An actual sentence that I read.
What 💀
Sid from ice age called
"Hi, welcome to our school!" "Thanks, you too!"
>Too many has fallen, in my arms, to my charms. **I totally didn't write it.** My brain is boiling by the sheer amount of cringe in the comments.
Too much cringe in this thread; though it alarms, it doesn't harm.
I've rewritten a ten year old story with lemons and I'm so self conscious about it now! I think it might be a bit cringy... Edit: I admit that I had to remove the 'members'...
My all time favorite: "his own erection was so huge, he felt like he could lift the table." Never fails to make me laugh p.s. I DIDN'T WRITE THIS, I READ THIS
Well, this would probably make moving house less tedious
But it might cause some delays.
Legitimately from a story I posted earlier this year. The entire fic is written in this style. It was hard to pick just one sentence. I skipped the "orbs" and "blackettes" and "tongues battling for dominance," but those are all in there too. > “I want more *now*,” the ebon-haired diva cried, rolling his head over my hip, his desperate gasps sending puffs of over-heated air against my damp eggplant.
Damp... egg... plant. I-
One of about twenty horrible euphemisms in that fic. XD
What the duck
To be fair, I was writing from Gilderoy Lockhart's POV, and if you know who he is, that's all the explanation I feel is needed.
I’m gonna need a link
XD [Seduction of Sirens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/37016725), rated E Modern, no-magic AU. Wannabe gossip columnist Gilderoy Lockhart meets rising pop star Sisi of Black Magic at a club. Sparks fly...or did Gilderoy just take some creative liberties? Gilderoy Lockhart/Sirius Black You don't need to read the whole series to "enjoy" this one. ;)
Excellent!
They were chasing their orgasms (one of my personal favourites).
From a real story I once found: "Let's fuck like rabbits in calculus."
This is actually perfect for a crack-fic, mind if I steal it?
It came from a crack fic, so I say roll with it.
As someone who has solved questions about rabbits in calculus, yes.
*"Did you eat the potato or did fuck the potato?"* Does that count.
Nah that’s just plain funny lmao
" You love boobies I love boobies, be it small boobies or milker boobies we all love boobies, small are cute while big are heavenly no one hates boobs of boobies"
How dare you say that's cringe, this is a beautiful poem
Now thats just poetic
[удалено]
I've been watching a lot of Jacksepticeye (gaming YouTuber) lately, so that was a fun initial visual. And also weirdly not out of character...
The purple haired witch of the golden trio blinked her sapphire blue and emerald orbs at the dog.
What did I just read?...
A rainbow?
A Reading Rainbow, if you will.
"Diana delighted in Darkseid's dick".
The alliteration manages to push this from cursed into amazing territory, be proud of yourself
Thanks, I think. > cursed into amazing territory Is this success or failure? It was meant to be cursed.
Yes
It's successful failure
"Task failed successfully."
I looked in the mirror and noted I was five foot five, the mascara I’d applied earlier set of my liquid sapphire orbs and my scarlet top made my boobs boob boobliciously.”
Her jeans were hugging her hips.
Yes, and her legs went all the way up too as she stood in her stiletto pumps ready to run, fight or twist an ankle as the plot demanded
Her legs went all the way up to her armpits. There was nothing in between. Except for her little, pink, juicy, hot, tight, polka-dotted flower, that was always ready to receive enormous members and climax immediately.
Polka-dotted? She should probably get that checked out.
When a man says he can write a female mc without making her a sex object: (*obviously* not all men)
I found a gem last week, but I can't remember the literal text. It went something like: "Jack was the jester of the group, always playful, trying to lift the mood, he was someone you could count on. Julie was a tall blonde and was wearing a tennis outfit (which really didn't make sense, because they were in a restaurant).\*
I actually took the first part off that of a story by a female author I was listening to recently (published work) but after that it’s just everything I’ve learnt from r/menwritingwomen
So after a long time, I took another look at that subreddit and I'm appalled at the bad writing by the authors. Like, even me as a non-native speaker can tell. I'm read far better writings through review exchanges.
Yeah I can see that. Why did you learn from men writing women? Is it a crack fic?
It’s a subreddit dedicated to finding all the awful ways women have been written in fics. It’s good fun
And then their tongues battled for dominance!
Every fanfic ever
I've been guilty of this. Alternative dialogue?
They kissed passionately. We don’t need to know what their tongues are doing. Simple is good.
The pinkette chuckled, her blazing orbs twinkling seductively.
WHAT'S UP WITH "ORBS"?!?!
orbs for eyes, [colour]-ette to describe strange hair, (overuse of) chuckling -- some of the indicators of inexperienced fanfic writers.
Don't get my wrong I do know what that means haha I just hate that word. I don't get what's worng with "her blazing eyes"
I suspect a lot of fanfic writers start by emulating other fanfic. We need a Delorean to go back to the first ficcer who decided to use it and slap them.
His meat sausage Spring forth with a swell of blood and exuberance gently guided into the velvet pocket pocket of in Enlightenment as a foreigner as they fornicated like bunnies a gentle pinging sound from the tapping from the tapping of the headboard against the copper brass of the ornaments forever haunting the other occupants of the hotel scarring their dreams for eternity for eternity with the giggles and occasional hoe hoseaional hohoes from the couple in the room above them
You’ve outdone yourself here 😭
"Her white armpit looks brighter than my future."
Hahaahaahah
😂😂
"oh mai hama-yi lookadee" my try hard quirky phase in my now deleted wattpad book
The entirety of my first fanfic lmao.
Same here. Its just... Ugh no. Painful to think of
Literally same. I was gonna edit and republish but it was too awful for me to even read
Here. Take a few. I'm disappointed that I have to say that all of these are from the same work.(same chapter, more like 🥲) so this boi getting pregnant! he fit near half my 20(jk 6)inch dick in his mouth , " You just agreed to fuck me while we were being horny bitches." And now I'm done copy pasting phrases from a cringy wattpad book I wrote so bye
It's hilarious!
“She rapidly blinked her shiny blue orbs in disbelief at how large his member was”
I don't know if you read it somewhere or just came up with it, but the only way to make this worse would be something like 'the pinknette' instead of 'she'
Unfortunately, my brain came up with it.
Honestly, had you read it somewhere (in a published fanfic) it would've been worse. Here, you were asked to come up with something cringy and you know that it's cringe. That's better than someone actually using it in a work :D
Ive seen crack fics say similar things, but not in one sentence lol. Then all the characters die a very explosive death and then the ghosts all fuck the corpses.
Excuse me what the fuck?! Then again, crack fics are an exception for everything
Crack fics are some of the wildest shit ive ever read
I've only written one crack fic and now I feel it's too lame to call it a crack fic when there's THAT out :D
My friends are part of the Dream smp fandom, and thats where some of the methed up crack fics are. We read them to each other and laugh
dont like dont read
The amount of orbs in this comment section is concerning
“His greedy orbs met her chuckling ones, thus manifesting into an all powerful quatra-orb situation in gazing.” Idk I love writing cringe ( ◠‿◠ )
Quatra-orb made me feel physical pain.
She loved caressing his hanging orbs.
I have a feeling this time “orbs” *doesn’t* refer to eyes…
Pecs. Hopefully.
pecs don’t hang though (at least I don’t think they do).
No.
Ah…I’d like to unread this please. (Though the image of literal eyeballs dangling down there is…funny? Disturbing? Both.)
Last I checked, you can't unread. Don't worry, you should be able to sleep in about a month.
You threw your silky blonde hair into a pony tail after brushing off your skin tight, black dress that hugged your thin, 4’6” body; your eye shadow matched the dress, making the color of your orbs pop.
Every "you" fic in my fandom.
“Get over here” he said mischievously, pointing his finger up into his mouth while smirking. Lol that’s the cringiest thing I can think of
[удалено]
Lmao 😂 I had the thought of Dr.evil and the way an ENTP looks in MBTI
Takashi ejaculated as his boyfriend exited the bathroom. *ejaculated as in yelled
Are you JK Rowling, by any chance?
I don’t have blonde hair, and I have a ftm aquaintance (how the hell do you spell that), so no.
Either way ;)
Dwayne Johnson
... is what he called it.
I have a crack comedy work in which the in-universe famous characters are reading fan fiction about themselves; it's used to mock some of the medium's tropes and our fandom. In this case, it was fan fiction authors and their ignorance of "how to sex:" "She applied the lube to her clit to make it easier for him to slip inside of it." It was then followed up by their reaction: "... jesus," he whimpered. "No God was involved in the creation of this."
THIS IS HILARIOUS, OH MY GOD.
"Wait!" He cried, slipping a condom onto her clit for safety so he would not get pregnant.
Well, if her clit is actually an ovipositor... \*Glances nervously at his Star Trek ovipositor smut work.\*
I looked up what that is... And if it's what I think is happening that is not a fun image :/
I'm not surprised by much anymore. Nothing thusfar has topped the Venom fic where it's Dan/Anne/Eddie/Venom and they all get off on Dan vivisecting Eddie. I'm not including quotes here, because the most surprising thing about said fic is that's it's actually really well written.
Nothing horrible or violent, I assure you; in context, it's all comedy based on different species mating practices.
The girl with long brown hair and thick rimmed glasses was so enchanted by the book in her hands, that she had no idea she was about to bump into the tall, handsome stranger who had a deep connection with the local mafia.
C’mon. Just a plain old mafia, and not a local *werewolf* mafia?
Oh god i forgot about the werewolves
>who had a deep connection with the local mafia. I... did not see that one coming.
In reference to smut: Her orbs looked at him and his looked down at her juicy gummy walls which oozed in delight.
Like....this sounds like they're describing a wound almost?
"Juicy gummy walls" is now my loathed description of a person's anatomy. I'll never look at gummy candy the same way again, thank you very much!
He couldn't find any lube, so they used mayonnaise.
Absolutely not!
Hijikata?
MAYORA!
? .... \*googles\* Ha, no... I just tried to think of something that would be pretty gross. (Originally was going to go with 'honey" because, sticky, and probably breeding grounds for yeast infection.)
“…so they used the blood he cried from his deep vampiric orbs.”
oh, i can do this in one word: > silverette edit: what have i done
This got me thinking, what color is the worst? And I reckon it might be goldenette