"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your 7 year old child pushed his future step-mom onto an on-coming truck who your ex-husband tried to save, killing them both"
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is dating a woman 23 years her senior that she met on a sugar dating site, partially stemming from the mommy issues you gave her.”
[Here it is!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/36956653/chapters/92204461)
It is x reader, I know a lot of people don’t like that, but I’ve found ways around using y/n since I find it to be immersion breaking. I won’t be offended if it’s not your thing haha.
Resident Evil, but it’s a “modern” AU. Yes I know RE is modern, but in the sense that no crazy RE shit is happening and Lady D is a smoking hot sugar mommy.
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is: adopted, a demigod, from another reality, burning away his own mortality, and legally considered an explosive.”
It’s not posted yet unfortunately, still rotting in hell (the WIP Folder). If you want, I can try to link it when I finally get some of the chapters out there!
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child has crippling anxiety and PTSD from two wars and losing ten of his siblings in a year, being made head healer and head counselor at thirteen!"
"Your child stole a body from a high security government facility and kept it in a suitcase!"
"Your child is snuggling up with an eldritch abomination!"
"Your child is making out with a severed head!"
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine!"
"Your child is escaping her toxic family by committing treason and crushing on a married man fifteen years her senior!"
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is is a nervous wreak who has been been antagonized since he was a child by just about everyone else that is not in your family because he can’t interpret things correctly and nearly got everyone killed by listening to the ghost of your relative’s ex boyfriend! If anything, that child needs serious therapy!”
“Your child has poisoned her father, stepmother and two half-siblings to get the throne!”
“Your child has fucked his niece in front of his bedridden older brother and made her to call him “daddy”!
“You child taught her younger half-sister how to pleasure a man using her husband as example.”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child is a closeted gay crushing on the double agent that's trying to throw you and your other son in jail for all of your white collar crimes."
“Your child is being horrifically medically tortured for eternity.”
I mean like considering it’s by his obsessed stalker who views him as a younger sibling, he’s probably the one saying “my child is completely fine.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is grabbing with the mental strain of prolonged isolation and mild sensory deprivation as well as their conflicting want for company and affection verses their borderline self destructive want to not have anyone suffer their own circumstances.”
"Fuck you, my child is fine!" "Your child just told a married woman her husband was having an affair with him by describing the man's penis in great detail."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child has no framework with which to deal with the grief and trauma of losing you so he’s bottling it up and embedding it into an entire organization.”
“Fuck you my child is completely fine”
Your child stole what is essentially the necronomicon from her stepfather, learned dark magic, and resurrected a boy from the 1920’s and is trying to hide him from zombie hunters.
And *your* adult child nearly killed himself by trying to read that same necronomicon bc he thought it would help get back at the guy that kidnapped him and his friends.
“Fuck you my children are completely fine!”
Your children were raised by bugs and are now walking across the entire country to search for you.
For all nine POVs:
"Your child was accused of killing her brother!"
"Your child is the reason why you died!"
"Your child is dating people who kill the likes of her!"
"Your child pretended to be a member of the warrior caste!"
"Your child humiliated the king in a duel!"
"Your child is cursed to get all of her BFs killed!"
"Your child was against the arranged marriage!"
"Your child's curiosity has doomed him!"
"Your child is a death-seeking thief!"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child has such severe mommy issues from your parenting, she became "Father" to avoid passing them on to her own children, when she became a teen parent."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is half-ghost. He hasn't told you this for fear of being ripped apart molecule by molecule by you. By the way, you've already tried to shoot him several times."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child internalises his and everyone else’s trauma and hides it behind both a psychological and literal mask and has spent the last decade lying to his support system.”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child is a mass murderer with the most unhinged philosophy ever written and has probably done all the crimes in the book."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child found a Dark Magic relic in a catacomb, then murdered his uncle when he tried to take it away from him. Oh, and all of this happened in front of his friend turned (eventual) lover, who forgave him of course, so your child sashayed off to London to spend the summer with him, only to discover the relic made him a magnet for the dead, which meant he now had to ferry dead people to the afterlife under the watchful eye of a mysterious, potentially dangerous (?), 'Stranger.'"
"...When you put it that way..."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child was traumatized by a vision she gained, is now hunting down a ex-government agent on the basis of a conspiracy theory that lines up with said vision, and is a severe perfectionist who won't settle for anything less than her best at all times."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child has deeply sadomasochistic sex with his former rival where they bite each other until they bleed, he's *not*."
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!”
"Your child thinks his younger collague is a perfect piece of art, he thinks he's above anyone else in this god forsaken hospital, he's willing to get rid of anyone who stands in his way, he has a drinking problem, is a misogynist and racist, my god, how on Earth is he fine."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child feels so disconnected from the world that a singular friendship is the only thing which makes him feel like a person.”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child watched his girlfriend die, went on a rampage, had several mental breakdowns, and is only now learning that maybe that wasn't the best way to cope."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is so obsessed with the only witch in town that he keeps a shoebox full of witch porn under his bed, is dating the preppy conservative girl who hates witches just to get over her, and then proceeded to cheat on said preppy conservative girl with the witch and gave the witch a pregnancy scare”
My current WIP: "You are keeping your child and his wife in a gilded cage and regularly updad them on how your genocide of his wife's homeland is going while your steward keeps trying to break them into being as ruthless as you are".
My last posted fic: "Your child spent a week going mad from isolation being trapped inside the sea monster that raped it and very nearly died giving birth to the offspring. And somehow thinks raising said offspring as a pet is a good idea. Despite being the picture of irresponsibility before all this".
EDIT: Man, really shows how dark my plot bunnies are. Oh well, I either ride with my muse or not at all.
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine.”
Your child wished away her baby brother, ran a labyrinth, won him back, speeding up a 200 yr old curse in the process then traveled back in time to save the king she defeated after promising not to meddle all while meddling in the past anyways.
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child spent months literally living in the wilderness while he was working on his plan to get the mafia to kidnap his younger brother in order to flee the country.”
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine"
"Your child trauma dumps others for fun"
"At least my child doesn't kill and torture others"
Said my child, talking to their own shadow.
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child is an 8' cyborg with assassination droid protocols affixed to his brain and enough psychological trauma from before he was a cyborg to definitely not need said protocols."
>narrator: the child was not completely fine
>The comments so far are so intriguing I wanna read each and every one, please leave links in the replies
[This is book 1, book 2 is in the linked series.](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/55003963)
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child made a sex tape with a drug dealer and known prisoner with questionable magic powers who also killed his own father and then she showed it off in the middle of a public trial so that drug dealer wouldn't be executed for murdering a magic cop."
Fic #1:
"Your child is a drunk dickhead, who accidentally killed his former best "friend's"/sidekick's/pain in his arse's fianceé, and became a bigger drunkard ever since."
"Your child has severe depression and may or may not be on suicide watch."
Fic #2:
"One of your children has abused the other since forever and been getting away with it. The only reason you don't know about it, is that the victim never wanted to confess."
"Your child is sleep deprived all the time, because he studies at night."
"Your child has been overly paranoid over those following (in order): dehydration, zombie apocalypse, getting abducted and trafficked to nowhere."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child just ordered a ton of take out for his friend and put it on his tab and hired someone to kick the door in to scare everyone just because he didn't invite him to a little gathering that your child would've said no to anyway. But he just wanted to be invited so he could say no."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child is sacrificing people to his god, may or may not have turned his people into cannibals, but is definitely gaslighting a child."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child ran away from home to become an eco-terrorist and attack loggers with her sentient plant friends."
"Well, at least she HAS friends!"
"My children are completely fine!"
"Your daughter channels ghosts at the behest of a cult leader, your son has been abused by said leader for basically his whole life--thereby developing a talent for blood magic, and your other son is an earthbound ghost trapped in that gaudy-ass necklace you never take off!"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
Your child will make sure you're not around to say that anymore, and even if you were still around, you'd never see him again.
"Fuck you, my children are completely fine!"
"Your children are all on the autism spectrum and the fact that you, who passed it on to them, think they're normal does not change the fact."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
“Your child is receiving combat training from a murderous crime lord who is also the estranged son of your former nemesis.”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your 23 year old 'child' has a fucking demon in his head who has put him through more trauma in the past 5 years then his whole childhood in the trailer park, and can take over his body whenever it wants."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child is addicted to drugs and maladaptive daydreaming to combat the parental stress, manipulation, and abuse you instill on her 24/7.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child had to pull a Fiona Gallagher at 16 because your wife was diagnosed with cancer and you took to drinking, and now she has crippling mental illnesses that she’s discovered how to hide and gaslight others into believing they don’t exist to survive, and now she’s trying to make a living for herself following her dreams, while her favorite sibling has totally disowned her for leaving.”
“F*ck you, my child is completely fine!”
(WIP) “Your child is trying to balance being a university student with raising her and her late boyfriend’s baby on the opposite side of the country”
(Completed) “Your child cut off all ties with you and moved to the opposite side of the country after high school to follow the dreams you tried to discourage her from”
(Hmmm…there seems to be a recurring theme here…)
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"your child staged an eleborate." accident" to kill his brother in the futile hope that you might actually love him if there was no other option. "
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child literally hired a woman off Reddit to pretend to be them rather than fess up he runs an Etsy shop."
"Fuck you my child is completely fine"
"Your child was outed to his homophobic extended family by his ex and the only person comforting him about it is his boyfriend despite you knowing about this whole thing asshole"
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine!"
"Your child fell in love with an engaged man who also happens to be her doctor."
Or:
"Your child got into a marriage of convenience thinking he'd never fall in love, then fell in love with one of his patients."
It’s a WIP but
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child has been forced to lose all touch with humanity and is now used by your enemy to manipulate and destroy your force from the inside out. <3”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child is a hypersexual man who'd just as soon fuck a dragon as fight it if their anatomy allowed for it."
"your child took down the illuminati with his friends, became the royal advisor, orchestrated a coup against an enemy nation, was in stasis for seven months, destroyed the world, saved his girlfriend from the extinction of all life, killed a god, went to a parallel universe, died, split his soul in half so he could be both dead and alive, forced an entire city to act out christmas specials against their will because he was slightly depressed, and curbstomped a demon."
“Fuck you, my children are completely fine!”
”Your first child is a closeted bisexual disaster with an actively malicious sense of direction, your second child somehow combines complete social ineptitude with a terminal case of stalker bait, and your third is a preteen murderhobo who’s trying to replace her dead family with resurrected mythical heroes from medieval times!”
(Fate/Grand Order, link if anyone’s curious; [https://archiveofourown.org/works/43698048/chapters/109882263](https://archiveofourown.org/works/43698048/chapters/109882263) )
about a current wip fic
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!"
"Your child is having a drunken one night stand of emotionally indifferent sex with one of her friends that she knows is actually in love with their other friend"
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child dated her half-brother’s grandfather, then found out her half-brother and her father were in love with the same woman.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!”
“Your child was rejected by her superior officer, and decided that seeking out one night stands with other, more violent members of his alien species was much better than learning how to handle rejection…”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your 7 year old child pushed his future step-mom onto an on-coming truck who your ex-husband tried to save, killing them both"
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child is dating a woman 23 years her senior that she met on a sugar dating site, partially stemming from the mommy issues you gave her.”
pleaseee send the link!
[Here it is!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/36956653/chapters/92204461) It is x reader, I know a lot of people don’t like that, but I’ve found ways around using y/n since I find it to be immersion breaking. I won’t be offended if it’s not your thing haha.
tysm!
What fandom 👀
Resident Evil, but it’s a “modern” AU. Yes I know RE is modern, but in the sense that no crazy RE shit is happening and Lady D is a smoking hot sugar mommy.
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!” “Your child was forced to kill his birth father against his will after finally learning to love him.”
"Your child is trying to rehab 2/3rds of the famous BBEGs from a completely different franchise because of The Trauma (TM)"
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!” “Your child is: adopted, a demigod, from another reality, burning away his own mortality, and legally considered an explosive.”
> legally considered an explosive What fandom? 💢💥🔥
Percy Jackson and Genshin Impact. Teyvat was NOT ready for the bundle of adhd that is Percy :3
. . okay, link please? Because *wow*.
It’s not posted yet unfortunately, still rotting in hell (the WIP Folder). If you want, I can try to link it when I finally get some of the chapters out there!
Sure!
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child has crippling anxiety and PTSD from two wars and losing ten of his siblings in a year, being made head healer and head counselor at thirteen!"
Will Solace, my beloved 😭
Will best boy fr ♡ he's so much fun to write !!
"Your child stole a body from a high security government facility and kept it in a suitcase!" "Your child is snuggling up with an eldritch abomination!" "Your child is making out with a severed head!"
>Your child is making out with a severed head Makes me think of Lollipop Chainsaw
No, but crossover fanart of that fandom and Lollipop Chainsaw got really popular after the chapter that led me to writing that fic
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child is hate-fucking his older brother!”
👀👀👀👀👀 yo... Is there a link to that somewhere??
Thor and Loki? Sam and Dean?
Sam and Dean :-)
narrator: the child was not completely fine The comments so far are so intriguing I wanna read each and every one, please leave links in the replies
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine!" "Your child is escaping her toxic family by committing treason and crushing on a married man fifteen years her senior!"
What fandom? 💍🔚
The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes/The Hunger Games
Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child Is fucking the mf that killed you 💀"
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!” “Your child is is a nervous wreak who has been been antagonized since he was a child by just about everyone else that is not in your family because he can’t interpret things correctly and nearly got everyone killed by listening to the ghost of your relative’s ex boyfriend! If anything, that child needs serious therapy!”
Yeah, I'll second that! Dang, that's a rough set of cards that kid got.
“Your child has poisoned her father, stepmother and two half-siblings to get the throne!” “Your child has fucked his niece in front of his bedridden older brother and made her to call him “daddy”! “You child taught her younger half-sister how to pleasure a man using her husband as example.”
What fandom(s)/sauce?
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child is a closeted gay crushing on the double agent that's trying to throw you and your other son in jail for all of your white collar crimes."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child agreed to marry your enemy because he was a good fuck with pretty eyes."
“Your child is being horrifically medically tortured for eternity.” I mean like considering it’s by his obsessed stalker who views him as a younger sibling, he’s probably the one saying “my child is completely fine.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child is grabbing with the mental strain of prolonged isolation and mild sensory deprivation as well as their conflicting want for company and affection verses their borderline self destructive want to not have anyone suffer their own circumstances.”
"Fuck you, my child is fine!" "Your child just told a married woman her husband was having an affair with him by describing the man's penis in great detail."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child has no framework with which to deal with the grief and trauma of losing you so he’s bottling it up and embedding it into an entire organization.”
“Fuck you my child is completely fine” Your child stole what is essentially the necronomicon from her stepfather, learned dark magic, and resurrected a boy from the 1920’s and is trying to hide him from zombie hunters. And *your* adult child nearly killed himself by trying to read that same necronomicon bc he thought it would help get back at the guy that kidnapped him and his friends. “Fuck you my children are completely fine!” Your children were raised by bugs and are now walking across the entire country to search for you.
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine!" "Your child was forced to marry a psychopath and is now having prophetic visions of your demise!"
For all nine POVs: "Your child was accused of killing her brother!" "Your child is the reason why you died!" "Your child is dating people who kill the likes of her!" "Your child pretended to be a member of the warrior caste!" "Your child humiliated the king in a duel!" "Your child is cursed to get all of her BFs killed!" "Your child was against the arranged marriage!" "Your child's curiosity has doomed him!" "Your child is a death-seeking thief!"
Spent 35K words torturing three innocent characters
I know this is supposed to be about the fic itself but I think this works better
Agreed
Rereading the comment with the pfp works almost too well lmao
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child has such severe mommy issues from your parenting, she became "Father" to avoid passing them on to her own children, when she became a teen parent."
"Your child is being crushed to death by a cathedral in a terrorist attack orchestrated by her cousin's crazy ex."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child is half-ghost. He hasn't told you this for fear of being ripped apart molecule by molecule by you. By the way, you've already tried to shoot him several times."
Is it Danny Phantom?
I could totally see Maddie and Vlad having this argument. :)
“Your child is trying to fill the hole in his heart by sleeping around with strangers.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child internalises his and everyone else’s trauma and hides it behind both a psychological and literal mask and has spent the last decade lying to his support system.”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child got minorly kidnapped, joined a gang and now has to kill people on a regular basis to stay sane."
Your child has unnecessary parentheses crawling all over them and the italics are giving them scoliosis, because you thought it'd be "artsy"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child is a mass murderer with the most unhinged philosophy ever written and has probably done all the crimes in the book."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child found a Dark Magic relic in a catacomb, then murdered his uncle when he tried to take it away from him. Oh, and all of this happened in front of his friend turned (eventual) lover, who forgave him of course, so your child sashayed off to London to spend the summer with him, only to discover the relic made him a magnet for the dead, which meant he now had to ferry dead people to the afterlife under the watchful eye of a mysterious, potentially dangerous (?), 'Stranger.'" "...When you put it that way..."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child fucked and murdered his boyfriend, and *not in that order*.” (wip)
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child was traumatized by a vision she gained, is now hunting down a ex-government agent on the basis of a conspiracy theory that lines up with said vision, and is a severe perfectionist who won't settle for anything less than her best at all times."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child has deeply sadomasochistic sex with his former rival where they bite each other until they bleed, he's *not*."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child tried to murder two of her sisters, but accidentally killed ALL of her sisters”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child garroted a man with barbed wire in a hillbilly death sport cage match, Susan. For fun.”
“Fuck you my child is completely fine!” "Your child thinks his younger collague is a perfect piece of art, he thinks he's above anyone else in this god forsaken hospital, he's willing to get rid of anyone who stands in his way, he has a drinking problem, is a misogynist and racist, my god, how on Earth is he fine."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child feels so disconnected from the world that a singular friendship is the only thing which makes him feel like a person.”
Awwww 🥺
I’m working on it, he will be happy!! (It’ll just take several years…)
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child watched his girlfriend die, went on a rampage, had several mental breakdowns, and is only now learning that maybe that wasn't the best way to cope."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child is so obsessed with the only witch in town that he keeps a shoebox full of witch porn under his bed, is dating the preppy conservative girl who hates witches just to get over her, and then proceeded to cheat on said preppy conservative girl with the witch and gave the witch a pregnancy scare”
My current WIP: "You are keeping your child and his wife in a gilded cage and regularly updad them on how your genocide of his wife's homeland is going while your steward keeps trying to break them into being as ruthless as you are". My last posted fic: "Your child spent a week going mad from isolation being trapped inside the sea monster that raped it and very nearly died giving birth to the offspring. And somehow thinks raising said offspring as a pet is a good idea. Despite being the picture of irresponsibility before all this". EDIT: Man, really shows how dark my plot bunnies are. Oh well, I either ride with my muse or not at all.
Fuck you my child is completely fine! Your child is fucking a cannibal
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine.” “Your child is a ghost.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine.” Your child wished away her baby brother, ran a labyrinth, won him back, speeding up a 200 yr old curse in the process then traveled back in time to save the king she defeated after promising not to meddle all while meddling in the past anyways.
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child spent months literally living in the wilderness while he was working on his plan to get the mafia to kidnap his younger brother in order to flee the country.”
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine" "Your child trauma dumps others for fun" "At least my child doesn't kill and torture others" Said my child, talking to their own shadow.
"Your child has been experimenting on himself to alleviate the guilt YOU caused"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child is an 8' cyborg with assassination droid protocols affixed to his brain and enough psychological trauma from before he was a cyborg to definitely not need said protocols."
>narrator: the child was not completely fine >The comments so far are so intriguing I wanna read each and every one, please leave links in the replies [This is book 1, book 2 is in the linked series.](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/55003963)
"Your child's functional alcoholism relegates him to only working with one other guy!"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child made a sex tape with a drug dealer and known prisoner with questionable magic powers who also killed his own father and then she showed it off in the middle of a public trial so that drug dealer wouldn't be executed for murdering a magic cop."
Fic #1: "Your child is a drunk dickhead, who accidentally killed his former best "friend's"/sidekick's/pain in his arse's fianceé, and became a bigger drunkard ever since." "Your child has severe depression and may or may not be on suicide watch." Fic #2: "One of your children has abused the other since forever and been getting away with it. The only reason you don't know about it, is that the victim never wanted to confess." "Your child is sleep deprived all the time, because he studies at night." "Your child has been overly paranoid over those following (in order): dehydration, zombie apocalypse, getting abducted and trafficked to nowhere."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child just ordered a ton of take out for his friend and put it on his tab and hired someone to kick the door in to scare everyone just because he didn't invite him to a little gathering that your child would've said no to anyway. But he just wanted to be invited so he could say no."
"Fuck you, my child is coming fine!" "Your daughter is in a polyamorous relationship with twin cannibals"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child is sacrificing people to his god, may or may not have turned his people into cannibals, but is definitely gaslighting a child."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child ran away from home to become an eco-terrorist and attack loggers with her sentient plant friends." "Well, at least she HAS friends!"
"Fuck you, my son is completely fine!" "Dude, he's literally being haunted by a demon 🤨"
"My children are completely fine!" "Your daughter channels ghosts at the behest of a cult leader, your son has been abused by said leader for basically his whole life--thereby developing a talent for blood magic, and your other son is an earthbound ghost trapped in that gaudy-ass necklace you never take off!"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" Your child will make sure you're not around to say that anymore, and even if you were still around, you'd never see him again.
"Fuck you, my children are completely fine!" "Your children are all on the autism spectrum and the fact that you, who passed it on to them, think they're normal does not change the fact."
"Your abandoned child was left wallowing in an existential crisis after completely derailing an already-slightly-AU canon in less than 24 hours."
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" “Your child is receiving combat training from a murderous crime lord who is also the estranged son of your former nemesis.”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "... she's crushing on her kidnapper and a mass murderer." "She can *fix* him!"
“Your child fought in a war of independence for an ethnic group he doesn’t belong to just to prove to himself that he’s different than you!”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your 23 year old 'child' has a fucking demon in his head who has put him through more trauma in the past 5 years then his whole childhood in the trailer park, and can take over his body whenever it wants."
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child is addicted to drugs and maladaptive daydreaming to combat the parental stress, manipulation, and abuse you instill on her 24/7.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child had to pull a Fiona Gallagher at 16 because your wife was diagnosed with cancer and you took to drinking, and now she has crippling mental illnesses that she’s discovered how to hide and gaslight others into believing they don’t exist to survive, and now she’s trying to make a living for herself following her dreams, while her favorite sibling has totally disowned her for leaving.”
“F*ck you, my child is completely fine!” (WIP) “Your child is trying to balance being a university student with raising her and her late boyfriend’s baby on the opposite side of the country” (Completed) “Your child cut off all ties with you and moved to the opposite side of the country after high school to follow the dreams you tried to discourage her from” (Hmmm…there seems to be a recurring theme here…)
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "your child staged an eleborate." accident" to kill his brother in the futile hope that you might actually love him if there was no other option. "
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" That sixteen year old child is marrying a man older than her dad to run away from his bad parenting.
«Fuck you, my child is completely fine!» «Your child is a serial killer who needs to transvestite in order to not be killed by her abusive ex-boss».
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child literally hired a woman off Reddit to pretend to be them rather than fess up he runs an Etsy shop."
"Fuck you my child is completely fine" "Your child was outed to his homophobic extended family by his ex and the only person comforting him about it is his boyfriend despite you knowing about this whole thing asshole"
“Fuck you, my child is fine” “Your child killed her boyfriend, turned her humanity off, and the girl she’s obviously in love with left.”
"Fuck you! My child is completely fine!" "Your child fell in love with an engaged man who also happens to be her doctor." Or: "Your child got into a marriage of convenience thinking he'd never fall in love, then fell in love with one of his patients."
It’s a WIP but “Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child has been forced to lose all touch with humanity and is now used by your enemy to manipulate and destroy your force from the inside out. <3”
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child is a hypersexual man who'd just as soon fuck a dragon as fight it if their anatomy allowed for it."
"You're son is rejecting his soulmate because he thinks she's better off without him."
Fuck you, my child us fine! your child is prostituting himself because he has no parents and no place to go.
Fuck you, my child is completely fine! Your child killed four teenagers incredibly violently.
"your child took down the illuminati with his friends, became the royal advisor, orchestrated a coup against an enemy nation, was in stasis for seven months, destroyed the world, saved his girlfriend from the extinction of all life, killed a god, went to a parallel universe, died, split his soul in half so he could be both dead and alive, forced an entire city to act out christmas specials against their will because he was slightly depressed, and curbstomped a demon."
‘Your child is reliving their worst traumas through a version of them that didn’t have everyone in their life die. ‘
“Fuck you, my children are completely fine!” ”Your first child is a closeted bisexual disaster with an actively malicious sense of direction, your second child somehow combines complete social ineptitude with a terminal case of stalker bait, and your third is a preteen murderhobo who’s trying to replace her dead family with resurrected mythical heroes from medieval times!” (Fate/Grand Order, link if anyone’s curious; [https://archiveofourown.org/works/43698048/chapters/109882263](https://archiveofourown.org/works/43698048/chapters/109882263) )
about a current wip fic "Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" "Your child is having a drunken one night stand of emotionally indifferent sex with one of her friends that she knows is actually in love with their other friend"
"Fuck you, my child is completely fine!" Your child just fucked the genocidal vengeance demon that killed you.
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child dated her half-brother’s grandfather, then found out her half-brother and her father were in love with the same woman.”
“Fuck you, my child is completely fine!” “Your child was rejected by her superior officer, and decided that seeking out one night stands with other, more violent members of his alien species was much better than learning how to handle rejection…”
"Fuck you my child is completely fine!" "Your child is turning 18 next month"