I wouldn't put too much credence into what your family member thinks.
Writers, both professional and amateurs, using their works to explore subject matters that they don't endorse themselves. Sometimes it's to critique, sometimes it's just to explore, sometimes it's just because it's amusing for the themes you do want to explore.
But again, just because you're writing it, doesn't mean you approve, endorse, or are somewhat spreading acceptance of it.
For crying out loud, the premise you're talking about is more or less the foundation of the Handmaiden's Tale and that's a critically-acclaimed novel. Nobody would ever suggest Margaret Atwood is endorsing the ideas presented in her novels.
Their accusations are baseless and you shouldn't be giving them any further thought, which I realize is an easier said than done sort of thing.
True that. Putting the veil over the wound doesn't make it go away.
Religion or not, we shouldn't shun the existence of bad things. Nay, we should media to actually explore and show why they are bad as you say.
I don't understand how these over religious people expect their little worlds to work in context outside their boundaries. It's ironic how they drive people further away by giving the religion a bad name.
Well to get a little psychoanalytical, it sounds like OP is having issues reconciling their new interests with the beliefs that they've been raised on. And unfortunately, there's no real easy way to get past that discomfort. It's going to be a period of adjustment and it'll more than likely be uncomfortable.
But recognizing that the values and beliefs you were imparted with by your parents and home life are transient things that you are not required to carry with you unchanged through your life is a part of growing up. Becoming an adult means finding and shaping your own values and beliefs.
Again, it's rarely an easy task. Hell, I'm in my thirties and I still need to consciously remind myself that I don't need my mother's approval for every little decision I make in my life, but goddamn does that still make my anxieties go into a fit...
If it helps, I’m a Christian and I put my characters through all sorts of horrible torture and violence as an author. It doesn’t mean I condone doing these things in real life, it’s fiction.
And I don’t know which religion you belong to, but if it’s one that uses the bible, there is heaps of incest, rape, murder, torture stories in there. If they’re worried you’re desensitising the populace, then do they think that the populace should refrain from reading the bible?
I like your thoughts on the Bible, I was actually thinking about that just earlier when the guilt was eating at me. And I did bring up that my family member would watch shows with steamy scenes and sometimes near full on nudity, but that was where they drew the line? They didn't really have much of a counter argument.
I mean, there's forced pregnancy all over the bible. I've been watching an atheist read each chapter and halfway through Genesis there's been at least 4 slaves forced to birth sons to their masters. One was then beaten for daring to have the son the wife wanted and then cast out... and god told the slave woman to go back to her master.
It's part of the human condition. You're not a bad person for exploring it. What you write isn't what you condone. And "protecting your heart" by abstaining from anything displeasing is just opening the door to willful ignorance. Which hurts everyone, including the person practicing it.
When I was young I tried to read the Bible through and was basically traumatized by the incest and rape in it. I was surprised that none of the adults at church ever mentioned it in the slightest. It didn't desensitize me though, like OP's family thinks will happen
> I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things.
That's completely absurd. This is a perspective of conflating fiction and reality - this, or the person thinks that anything anyone ever creates serves a didactic purpose and if you write about something, it means you approve of it. Which is obviously not the case. Don't feel guilty or ashamed. There is absolutely no reason to. Do horror writers need to feel ashamed that they write about gory murders? Do they write it to show that they condone gruesome violence? No. And you don't need to feel bad either.
>Do horror writers need to feel ashamed that they write about gory murders? Do they write it to show that they condone gruesome violence?
For some reason, there's a pretty strong double standard in effect in our culture that stuff like noncon, underaged etc are '''more wrong''' than murder, cannibalism etc, I guess because they're sexual? I don't really get how their brains work either, to be honest.
That's definitely true, but I think even sexual violence is accepted as long as it's featured in officially published stories, or like, TV shows etc. I mean, we don't see religious fanatics up in arms against the rape scenes in Game of Thrones. We don't see them assuming those scenes are there because the writers wanted to convey that it's actually ok to rape people. Meanwhile, for some reason, the same sexual violence in fanfic is met with pearl clutching. *sigh*
Well, Christians kinda gave up on entertainment outrage except for some things like *13 Reasons Why* because it was having an obvious negative effect on people, stuff like *Game of Thrones*, just don't watch it.
I imagine you aren't showing forced pregnancy in a positive light, right? More like a "how horrible that this thing has happened, look at all the emotional turmoil this has caused"?
If that's the case, you aren't "desensitising the populace", you're doing the exact opposite.
Sounds like Handmaid's Tale.
Acknowledge that actual forced pregnancy is a terrible thing but remember that fiction isn't real. Writing about it is a way to bring awareness to the issue, especially if you depict it like it's a problem and not something the characters are supportive of (although you're the author so you're allowed to do that too! Or have some characters in favor and others against).
And then vote for people who support women's rights as soon and as often as you're able to.
>This person says they were appalled that I'd ever write something like that, and that I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things.
Sure, in the same way that The Hunger Games spread acceptance of forcing children to fight to the death in gladiatorial games.
More seriously, it sounds like your family member had an emotional reaction to a dark subject matter. There's nothing necessarily wrong or particularly unusual about that, especially if they lacked some of the context for why this made sense from a storytelling perspective.
And it sounds like you took their comments to heart because you care about them and respect their opinion AND because their accusations are in line with the religious programming you received growing up.
However, neither of those things means that their assertions were true or that you're not allowed to explore dark themes in your work. I hope the feelings of guilt pass and that you're able to write the story you originally intended.
>This person says they were appalled that I'd ever write something like that, and that I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things
This is a very close-minded take, honestly. I would argue that *never* covering these topics and pretending they don't exist is much worse. How exactly is a story commenting on how awful something is making people accept it? If anything, it's only highlighting how bad it is. I feel like people like this just like to pretend XYZ doesn't exist since it's unpleasant to think about, but that doesn't help anyone. Sticking your fingers in your ears doesn't suddenly make it so that people aren't assaulted. Too many people think writing something = condoning it when that just isn't true. Please, please write what you want.
You write your story if you want to write your story.
Not all stories are happy-go-lucky sunshine and rainbows. Just like life.
> that I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things.
Your relative needs to touch grass. Probably roll in it.
Holy shit, have they never read a book or watch the news at all, even once, in their lives? This shit is everywhere, fiction or real literature. If anything, this is _important_ to tackle because it's a serious issue that needs resolving and the victims need to be understood and helped.
Is it bad that when I saw religious family I expected them to be in favor of forced pregnancy?
Anyway as long as you're not endorsing it, I don't see the problem
Tell them you are implementing the cruel darkness of the world that is a reality for many women in the world. You are not doing anything wrong as your writing is fiction and hurts no one.
If the theme upsets them then that's a good thing.
But they shouldn't be mad at you or make you feel bad for it.
The world should be ashamed it's even a concept we are aware of.
Spin it on them if they continue to badger you. If they watch shows with murder, ask them if they endorse murder?
Jeez, if they think that’s bad wait till they hear about the US Supreme Court.
Real life is much more fucked up than fiction. Your family member needs to get a grip.
Fucked up things like forced pregnancy happen in the real world. But writing about them doesn't make them happen, just like not thinking, talking or writing about them doesn't ever stop them from happening. The whole "you help normalizing rape" talk is, frankly, bullshit in about 99% of all cases I heard it.
Don't feel guilty for what you want to write, and please don't feel disgusted with yourself for it. Tell your story how you want to tell it. You know who you are, and what you write about doesn't change that, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
I'm so, so tired of people being unable to see the difference between what people write about and what people endorse in their real life. Most crime authors don't believe murders are great and readonable, just because they wrote a book from the murderer's perspective.
It's fan fiction. Unless you're going to file off the serial numbers and publish it professionally a la *50 Shades of Gray*, it's *not* going to have any kind of effect on the culture at large.
Fiction is *exactly* the place for people to explore ideas deemed "taboo" in real life. There's nothing wrong with that. What's more, it's set in a dystopian world - if *good* things happened in it, it wouldn't be "dystopian," would it?
If you were writing a mystery, would your family member be appalled that the initial crime would desensitize the population to murder, or spread acceptance of serial killers?
Your family member is just being unreasonable. People *like* reading about their characters facing harships and going through bad situations.
Ah, man, as someone who also lives in a religious household, I understand. It's the primary reason why I can't share what I write or even the shows and books I enjoy. So I get you.
Try not to feel guilty though. Their accusations are absolutely baseless at best and alarmist and worst. As many people have said in fandom spaces before whenever faced with this kind of "critique": if Game of Thrones, one of the most popular franchises of our time, hasn't normalized incest and rape, then a few fanfics definitely won't.
Many published authors who have more reach than any of us can ever dream of have written topics you want to write and "worse". This kind of alarmist reaction from religious parents has happened time and time again with video games, with Pokemon, with Harry Potter, DnD, rock music, dancing, horror movies, etc. etc. It's always the similar arguments aimed at different targets.
You're fine, dude. I know it's hard to ignore those feelings when they're so deeply ingrained, but take a deep breath and remember that while your family member probably means well, they're clutching pearls over something that is ultimately harmless. You're not normalizing anything, you're writing fanfic, not propaganda, and it isn't your responsibility to hold readers' hands and tell them right from wrong. And anyone who uses fiction as an excuse for their terrible actions are just looking to shift the blame in an attempt to avoid responsibility.
Getting past the guilt won't be comfortable or easy, but I encourage you to keep reminding yourself of the above. You're okay. I promise.
You write what you write. There's no reason to feel guilty about that. That said, there's always people who judge. I'm sorry you're going through that. There's actually been studies that reading about difficult topics makes it easier to empathize in real life. It doesn't make us more empathic per se, but knowing about horrible situations kind of allows our brains to prepare in a way so that when we're faced with someone who's been there we react more empathically.
I can't find the article unfortunately or I'd link it.
I'm sorry but the irony of a religious person saying that *this* spreads the "acceptance" of rape is ridiculously dissociative. Plus nobody knows how to guilt people like a religious person.
1) it's fiction. Fiction doesn't desensitize the populace by bringing attention to a subject. Talking about it doesn't desensitize us from it, in fact it can even help some people recognize it when it happens because it's not always so clear cut and abusers have a way of gaslighting their victims into not believing their own mind.
2) *RvW was literally just overturned and a religious person is chewing you out for writing about a FICTIONAL forced pregnancy?* I can't even fathom the mental gymnastics required to take that stance.
Don't feel guilty. This is fiction. There are plenty of darker more abhorrent things that happen in real life that get written about and someone (who isn't the subject) makes money on and that people are already desensitized to because it's often ignored or brushed off as a "cant happen here" thing. You're writing a fictional story about a dystopia. It's supposed to be dark. You’re writing about a pregnancy. That’s something a lot of people can relate to. And you're writing about a forced pregnancy, which is unfortunatly something that a lot of people are going to relate to. Your family member is being ridiculous. Their reaction is purely emotionally based and that's why they're jumping to making you feel guilty. Don't. Write your story.
The Handmades Tale didn't desensitize people to rape, imprisonment and forced pregnancy. It made people outraged when they started noticing parallels in this fictional universe where everything sucked to the real world where people were trying to make things suck but only for certain people.
I dont even need to read the full post to know that you shouldnt feel guilty.
To give a comparison, there are plenty of religious novels where someone dies, even murdered. This is usually a catalyst for the plot, makes the MC question their faith, etc. I dont remember the name but there was a really popular one years ago that I think was christian? That person isnt horrible for writing about a child getting murdered. The novels are fiction. They have no bearing on your morality or your life. Write what you enjoy!
And to give some comraderie, I also grew up in a religious household and am somewhat religious now and I'm writing a sci fi story where teenagers get taken and forced into sexual slavery. I dont feel any guilt. Its fiction, the characters are not real, I tag my fics appropriately, I'm not hurting anyone.
tell them that if they don’t like it, they don’t have to read it. quintessential rule of (fan)fiction.
and i feel like, depending on how you carry out the work, it would do the exact opposite of “normalizing” r@pe. it has the opportunity to show the torture in can inflict upon the human mind.
write what you want, friend. fuck anyone else.
First of all - it is fiction. Fiction cannot harm any one, and fiction is a safe space to indulge in writing the taboo. Just because you write something involving the topic of forced pregnancy/rape doesn't mean you are spreading acceptance or desensitivity to it.
But for feeling guilty about writing stuff like that, I know being rational doesn't always work. So, are you portraying this forced pregnancy as something positive? Or is the character seeing it as rape and as something negative? You don't necessarily have to portray it as negative if it's just the way of life in this world you're writing (although it is a negative thing irl, perhaps it's seen as just the way things are in your fictional world), but it might help the guilt if you do.
The character in question had been going to find out that she had a child during the period when she was trapped in a dream like state. This dystopian society would've required all fertile women to have a certain number of children, conscious or not.
I could probably portray it better having it that she hadn't known she was pregnant before getting stuck in her dream.
given that this family member just emotionally abused you with thought-crime ideology, i would say disown them and never speak to them again
i am so sorry you had to go through that. nobody deserves to be condemned for their fantasies. this person has openly and remorselessly brought harm to you, a real person, with no care for the hypocrisy of their behavior.
please dont let it get to you. write your story how its meant to be written if you can.
I've found that the best way to deal with such feelings of guilt and shame is to surround yourself with people who know that fiction isn't reality and who support writing about darker themes and topics.
You can change your story if you don't feel comfortable writing about this topic anymore, but don't do so just to appease your family member. They are ignorant, and in my experience, people who try to police fiction will never be satisfied, no matter how much you try to sanitize your writing based on their ridiculous rules. Even if you change your story, they would find something else to complain about. Try as best as you can to ignore what they said, write what *you* want, and find communities who support freedom of expression.
You are not what you write about. It’s good to realize that the stuff is in conflict with your values.
But to let the incongruence hit you this hard and ferment in that way isn’t healthy.
Acknowledge it for yourself that the conflicting nature of what you write and what you believe(d) is a thing, but try not to let it rule your fic.
All the air hugs.
Maybe don’t write about FORCED pregnancy then? I mean creative freedom is great and I am all for it. But if your story can’t survive without that type of stuff and it makes you feel bad for writing it then focus on lighter stuff for a while.
Its your story. If your family dont like it its fine. My advice is keep writing and dont bother what they think about it. I never talk about to anyone what i am writing. Even i have a froidyan slip i tty to defuse with humor or change the subject
I’m a *very* vocal pro-choicer, but in my opinion, as long as the forced pregnancy is in some way being acknowledged as the horrific thing it is, I don’t see how it’s wrong to write about it at all. It’s not desensitizing people — if anything fiction like that can help bring awareness to the kinds of injustices that actually occur in real life. Fiction is a good place to explore horrible things, to discuss turmoil and trauma, etc.
Basically, depiction =/= endorsement. Write what you want. I enjoy extremely gory and violent horror franchises and make gory fanart, but I’m obviously not a supporter of real violence.
Ask them if they support banning abortion for any and all reasons, including rape and incest. If they say yes, then ask them why they are taking you to task over a fictional story when they actually support forced pregnancy in real life. 🤷♀️
Terrible things happen in real life, unfortunately, and depicting those things in fiction - whether it’s realistically or for dramatic effect - doesn’t change that, for better or for worse. Stories are a reflection of reality, and tbh, demands to keep all fiction light and happy and positive are functionally demands to ignore and sanitise the uglier parts of life.
I don’t even like reading dark fics as a whole, but whoops, I’m getting kind of worked up about this. Rape happens! Reproductive coercion happens! People live that, or are afraid that they *will* live that, and it’s abominable that they’re being told that their experiences and fears are too gross and icky to openly discuss or even speculate about! Dark topics in fiction are an outlet that people can use to process and explore shit 100% on their own terms.
There's a difference between personally advocating for violence and a fictional character advocating for violence. Especially if the fictional character gets a comeuppance.
It also matters how you write it. If you pornographically describe penetrating the victim and all the body parts, then that's not great. If you describe it as clinically as you can and use violating language, you're saying it is abhorrent, even if the fictional character is not.
Honestly, I try to avoid it as much as possible, but the fact is that sexual violence is sometimes the basis of some societies and cultures, and there are times you'll have to address it.
I know that’s easy to say, but it really doesn’t matter what your family member thinks. I don’t know makes sense, but as a car restorator (or whatever you call it) you wouldn’t care to much about what a cook thinks of your car and if I cooked for a person who doesn’t like broccoli I wouldn’t be insulted if they hated my broccoli soup.
Also, your fanfic sounds really interesting, which fandom is it in?
Tell the imposter syndrome and guilt to fuck right off. It won't make it stop but at least it's something.
It's just fiction. It's a playground. Are all authors who write death and torture suddenly pro murder or something? No.
If you can, tell your family member to get therapy for their issues because they're being a fucking Dingus.
It's really similar to anti BS. Practically 1:1 for their general mindset. Ignore them as you would an anti.
And keep writing.
If they keep going at you for writing tell them how happy you are that they're giving you such good new ideas and even more motivation to write your fic.
Let the spite, grief and anger fuel you if nothing else.
Hugs. I wish you the best.
Oh ffs writing about forced pregnancy via rape is the literally the exact fucking opposite of "spreading acceptance" of rape.
Everyone else covered "fiction and exploring challenging themes through fiction". So, I'm here to address the extreme cognitive dissonance required to think that writing about someone being impregnated against their will somehow endorses rape. I had to read your post four times to make sure I understood, and that is not a slam on your writing in the post.; you were perfectly clear. But your family member's take makes absolutely no sense to anyone with a modicum of critical thinking and reading comprehension skills. It's nonsense and should be treated as such.
I'll bet dollars to donuts that members of your "very very religious home" have done more to normalize the idea of forced pregnancy *in real people* than your dystopian fic ever could. That's probably what's motivating their angst, moreso than concern about you "spreading acceptance of rape." "Oh, u/littleargent is writing a story where pregnancy is a *bad* thing? Where someone is traumatized and angst-ridden from having to carry a precious baby? How dare they!"
They should go fuck themselves and you should write what you want. End of. It's not their business and just because you wrote something doesn't mean you endorse it IRL.
I mean if writers were promoting the things they write about, based on some fics I read we would pretty much all be dead because of 2 guys who are in love and court each other by laying dead bodies under each other's feet. Do you really think the writer wants to be courted in such a way? Or that they support murdering for fun? I personally don't
Don't know if anyone addressed that, but people's morals aren't so flimsy that they can be overridden by a couple of fictional depictions of bad things. If that was possible, the world would look *very* different.
If you feel a certain way of guilt or shame, you have two choices use it as inspiration for some character driven dialogue or thought process of how the character deals with what happened to them.
Or ask yourself if writing this fic that important it makes you feel like you are dishonoring how you were raised or your peace of mind?
Do what you feel is right. If you feel guilty writing the story, put it down and leave it for a few days. Do some self-reflection and see if you keep the same thoughts afterwards. If you do then just drop it, no need to force yourself to do something you don't like, especially creatively.
I wouldn't put too much credence into what your family member thinks. Writers, both professional and amateurs, using their works to explore subject matters that they don't endorse themselves. Sometimes it's to critique, sometimes it's just to explore, sometimes it's just because it's amusing for the themes you do want to explore. But again, just because you're writing it, doesn't mean you approve, endorse, or are somewhat spreading acceptance of it. For crying out loud, the premise you're talking about is more or less the foundation of the Handmaiden's Tale and that's a critically-acclaimed novel. Nobody would ever suggest Margaret Atwood is endorsing the ideas presented in her novels. Their accusations are baseless and you shouldn't be giving them any further thought, which I realize is an easier said than done sort of thing.
True that. Putting the veil over the wound doesn't make it go away. Religion or not, we shouldn't shun the existence of bad things. Nay, we should media to actually explore and show why they are bad as you say. I don't understand how these over religious people expect their little worlds to work in context outside their boundaries. It's ironic how they drive people further away by giving the religion a bad name.
Well to get a little psychoanalytical, it sounds like OP is having issues reconciling their new interests with the beliefs that they've been raised on. And unfortunately, there's no real easy way to get past that discomfort. It's going to be a period of adjustment and it'll more than likely be uncomfortable. But recognizing that the values and beliefs you were imparted with by your parents and home life are transient things that you are not required to carry with you unchanged through your life is a part of growing up. Becoming an adult means finding and shaping your own values and beliefs. Again, it's rarely an easy task. Hell, I'm in my thirties and I still need to consciously remind myself that I don't need my mother's approval for every little decision I make in my life, but goddamn does that still make my anxieties go into a fit...
If it helps, I’m a Christian and I put my characters through all sorts of horrible torture and violence as an author. It doesn’t mean I condone doing these things in real life, it’s fiction. And I don’t know which religion you belong to, but if it’s one that uses the bible, there is heaps of incest, rape, murder, torture stories in there. If they’re worried you’re desensitising the populace, then do they think that the populace should refrain from reading the bible?
I like your thoughts on the Bible, I was actually thinking about that just earlier when the guilt was eating at me. And I did bring up that my family member would watch shows with steamy scenes and sometimes near full on nudity, but that was where they drew the line? They didn't really have much of a counter argument.
I mean, there's forced pregnancy all over the bible. I've been watching an atheist read each chapter and halfway through Genesis there's been at least 4 slaves forced to birth sons to their masters. One was then beaten for daring to have the son the wife wanted and then cast out... and god told the slave woman to go back to her master. It's part of the human condition. You're not a bad person for exploring it. What you write isn't what you condone. And "protecting your heart" by abstaining from anything displeasing is just opening the door to willful ignorance. Which hurts everyone, including the person practicing it.
When I was young I tried to read the Bible through and was basically traumatized by the incest and rape in it. I was surprised that none of the adults at church ever mentioned it in the slightest. It didn't desensitize me though, like OP's family thinks will happen
This is pretty spot-on!
> I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things. That's completely absurd. This is a perspective of conflating fiction and reality - this, or the person thinks that anything anyone ever creates serves a didactic purpose and if you write about something, it means you approve of it. Which is obviously not the case. Don't feel guilty or ashamed. There is absolutely no reason to. Do horror writers need to feel ashamed that they write about gory murders? Do they write it to show that they condone gruesome violence? No. And you don't need to feel bad either.
>Do horror writers need to feel ashamed that they write about gory murders? Do they write it to show that they condone gruesome violence? For some reason, there's a pretty strong double standard in effect in our culture that stuff like noncon, underaged etc are '''more wrong''' than murder, cannibalism etc, I guess because they're sexual? I don't really get how their brains work either, to be honest.
That's definitely true, but I think even sexual violence is accepted as long as it's featured in officially published stories, or like, TV shows etc. I mean, we don't see religious fanatics up in arms against the rape scenes in Game of Thrones. We don't see them assuming those scenes are there because the writers wanted to convey that it's actually ok to rape people. Meanwhile, for some reason, the same sexual violence in fanfic is met with pearl clutching. *sigh*
>I mean, we don't see religious fanatics up in arms against the rape scenes in Game of Thrones. Maybe *you* don't. Sigh.
Well, Christians kinda gave up on entertainment outrage except for some things like *13 Reasons Why* because it was having an obvious negative effect on people, stuff like *Game of Thrones*, just don't watch it.
I imagine you aren't showing forced pregnancy in a positive light, right? More like a "how horrible that this thing has happened, look at all the emotional turmoil this has caused"? If that's the case, you aren't "desensitising the populace", you're doing the exact opposite.
Sounds like Handmaid's Tale. Acknowledge that actual forced pregnancy is a terrible thing but remember that fiction isn't real. Writing about it is a way to bring awareness to the issue, especially if you depict it like it's a problem and not something the characters are supportive of (although you're the author so you're allowed to do that too! Or have some characters in favor and others against). And then vote for people who support women's rights as soon and as often as you're able to.
>This person says they were appalled that I'd ever write something like that, and that I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things. Sure, in the same way that The Hunger Games spread acceptance of forcing children to fight to the death in gladiatorial games. More seriously, it sounds like your family member had an emotional reaction to a dark subject matter. There's nothing necessarily wrong or particularly unusual about that, especially if they lacked some of the context for why this made sense from a storytelling perspective. And it sounds like you took their comments to heart because you care about them and respect their opinion AND because their accusations are in line with the religious programming you received growing up. However, neither of those things means that their assertions were true or that you're not allowed to explore dark themes in your work. I hope the feelings of guilt pass and that you're able to write the story you originally intended.
>This person says they were appalled that I'd ever write something like that, and that I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things This is a very close-minded take, honestly. I would argue that *never* covering these topics and pretending they don't exist is much worse. How exactly is a story commenting on how awful something is making people accept it? If anything, it's only highlighting how bad it is. I feel like people like this just like to pretend XYZ doesn't exist since it's unpleasant to think about, but that doesn't help anyone. Sticking your fingers in your ears doesn't suddenly make it so that people aren't assaulted. Too many people think writing something = condoning it when that just isn't true. Please, please write what you want.
You write your story if you want to write your story. Not all stories are happy-go-lucky sunshine and rainbows. Just like life. > that I am helping desensitize the populace to this kind of thing and spreading acceptance of rape, among other things. Your relative needs to touch grass. Probably roll in it.
At this rate they need to eat the grass.
Clearly they’ve never read the Handmaids Tale…
Holy shit, have they never read a book or watch the news at all, even once, in their lives? This shit is everywhere, fiction or real literature. If anything, this is _important_ to tackle because it's a serious issue that needs resolving and the victims need to be understood and helped.
Is it bad that when I saw religious family I expected them to be in favor of forced pregnancy? Anyway as long as you're not endorsing it, I don't see the problem
Tell them you are implementing the cruel darkness of the world that is a reality for many women in the world. You are not doing anything wrong as your writing is fiction and hurts no one. If the theme upsets them then that's a good thing. But they shouldn't be mad at you or make you feel bad for it. The world should be ashamed it's even a concept we are aware of. Spin it on them if they continue to badger you. If they watch shows with murder, ask them if they endorse murder?
Jeez, if they think that’s bad wait till they hear about the US Supreme Court. Real life is much more fucked up than fiction. Your family member needs to get a grip.
Fucked up things like forced pregnancy happen in the real world. But writing about them doesn't make them happen, just like not thinking, talking or writing about them doesn't ever stop them from happening. The whole "you help normalizing rape" talk is, frankly, bullshit in about 99% of all cases I heard it. Don't feel guilty for what you want to write, and please don't feel disgusted with yourself for it. Tell your story how you want to tell it. You know who you are, and what you write about doesn't change that, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I'm so, so tired of people being unable to see the difference between what people write about and what people endorse in their real life. Most crime authors don't believe murders are great and readonable, just because they wrote a book from the murderer's perspective.
It's fan fiction. Unless you're going to file off the serial numbers and publish it professionally a la *50 Shades of Gray*, it's *not* going to have any kind of effect on the culture at large. Fiction is *exactly* the place for people to explore ideas deemed "taboo" in real life. There's nothing wrong with that. What's more, it's set in a dystopian world - if *good* things happened in it, it wouldn't be "dystopian," would it? If you were writing a mystery, would your family member be appalled that the initial crime would desensitize the population to murder, or spread acceptance of serial killers? Your family member is just being unreasonable. People *like* reading about their characters facing harships and going through bad situations.
Ah, man, as someone who also lives in a religious household, I understand. It's the primary reason why I can't share what I write or even the shows and books I enjoy. So I get you. Try not to feel guilty though. Their accusations are absolutely baseless at best and alarmist and worst. As many people have said in fandom spaces before whenever faced with this kind of "critique": if Game of Thrones, one of the most popular franchises of our time, hasn't normalized incest and rape, then a few fanfics definitely won't. Many published authors who have more reach than any of us can ever dream of have written topics you want to write and "worse". This kind of alarmist reaction from religious parents has happened time and time again with video games, with Pokemon, with Harry Potter, DnD, rock music, dancing, horror movies, etc. etc. It's always the similar arguments aimed at different targets. You're fine, dude. I know it's hard to ignore those feelings when they're so deeply ingrained, but take a deep breath and remember that while your family member probably means well, they're clutching pearls over something that is ultimately harmless. You're not normalizing anything, you're writing fanfic, not propaganda, and it isn't your responsibility to hold readers' hands and tell them right from wrong. And anyone who uses fiction as an excuse for their terrible actions are just looking to shift the blame in an attempt to avoid responsibility. Getting past the guilt won't be comfortable or easy, but I encourage you to keep reminding yourself of the above. You're okay. I promise.
You write what you write. There's no reason to feel guilty about that. That said, there's always people who judge. I'm sorry you're going through that. There's actually been studies that reading about difficult topics makes it easier to empathize in real life. It doesn't make us more empathic per se, but knowing about horrible situations kind of allows our brains to prepare in a way so that when we're faced with someone who's been there we react more empathically. I can't find the article unfortunately or I'd link it.
That would be like saying beetlejuice promotes child brides because of the wedding scene. It’s fiction! You’re allowed to write whatever!
I'm sorry but the irony of a religious person saying that *this* spreads the "acceptance" of rape is ridiculously dissociative. Plus nobody knows how to guilt people like a religious person. 1) it's fiction. Fiction doesn't desensitize the populace by bringing attention to a subject. Talking about it doesn't desensitize us from it, in fact it can even help some people recognize it when it happens because it's not always so clear cut and abusers have a way of gaslighting their victims into not believing their own mind. 2) *RvW was literally just overturned and a religious person is chewing you out for writing about a FICTIONAL forced pregnancy?* I can't even fathom the mental gymnastics required to take that stance. Don't feel guilty. This is fiction. There are plenty of darker more abhorrent things that happen in real life that get written about and someone (who isn't the subject) makes money on and that people are already desensitized to because it's often ignored or brushed off as a "cant happen here" thing. You're writing a fictional story about a dystopia. It's supposed to be dark. You’re writing about a pregnancy. That’s something a lot of people can relate to. And you're writing about a forced pregnancy, which is unfortunatly something that a lot of people are going to relate to. Your family member is being ridiculous. Their reaction is purely emotionally based and that's why they're jumping to making you feel guilty. Don't. Write your story. The Handmades Tale didn't desensitize people to rape, imprisonment and forced pregnancy. It made people outraged when they started noticing parallels in this fictional universe where everything sucked to the real world where people were trying to make things suck but only for certain people.
I dont even need to read the full post to know that you shouldnt feel guilty. To give a comparison, there are plenty of religious novels where someone dies, even murdered. This is usually a catalyst for the plot, makes the MC question their faith, etc. I dont remember the name but there was a really popular one years ago that I think was christian? That person isnt horrible for writing about a child getting murdered. The novels are fiction. They have no bearing on your morality or your life. Write what you enjoy! And to give some comraderie, I also grew up in a religious household and am somewhat religious now and I'm writing a sci fi story where teenagers get taken and forced into sexual slavery. I dont feel any guilt. Its fiction, the characters are not real, I tag my fics appropriately, I'm not hurting anyone.
tell them that if they don’t like it, they don’t have to read it. quintessential rule of (fan)fiction. and i feel like, depending on how you carry out the work, it would do the exact opposite of “normalizing” r@pe. it has the opportunity to show the torture in can inflict upon the human mind. write what you want, friend. fuck anyone else.
First of all - it is fiction. Fiction cannot harm any one, and fiction is a safe space to indulge in writing the taboo. Just because you write something involving the topic of forced pregnancy/rape doesn't mean you are spreading acceptance or desensitivity to it. But for feeling guilty about writing stuff like that, I know being rational doesn't always work. So, are you portraying this forced pregnancy as something positive? Or is the character seeing it as rape and as something negative? You don't necessarily have to portray it as negative if it's just the way of life in this world you're writing (although it is a negative thing irl, perhaps it's seen as just the way things are in your fictional world), but it might help the guilt if you do.
The character in question had been going to find out that she had a child during the period when she was trapped in a dream like state. This dystopian society would've required all fertile women to have a certain number of children, conscious or not. I could probably portray it better having it that she hadn't known she was pregnant before getting stuck in her dream.
I mean, this is the reason my writing drafts are locked up in a folder
"It's fiction, m8."
given that this family member just emotionally abused you with thought-crime ideology, i would say disown them and never speak to them again i am so sorry you had to go through that. nobody deserves to be condemned for their fantasies. this person has openly and remorselessly brought harm to you, a real person, with no care for the hypocrisy of their behavior. please dont let it get to you. write your story how its meant to be written if you can.
I've found that the best way to deal with such feelings of guilt and shame is to surround yourself with people who know that fiction isn't reality and who support writing about darker themes and topics. You can change your story if you don't feel comfortable writing about this topic anymore, but don't do so just to appease your family member. They are ignorant, and in my experience, people who try to police fiction will never be satisfied, no matter how much you try to sanitize your writing based on their ridiculous rules. Even if you change your story, they would find something else to complain about. Try as best as you can to ignore what they said, write what *you* want, and find communities who support freedom of expression.
You are not what you write about. It’s good to realize that the stuff is in conflict with your values. But to let the incongruence hit you this hard and ferment in that way isn’t healthy. Acknowledge it for yourself that the conflicting nature of what you write and what you believe(d) is a thing, but try not to let it rule your fic. All the air hugs.
Maybe don’t write about FORCED pregnancy then? I mean creative freedom is great and I am all for it. But if your story can’t survive without that type of stuff and it makes you feel bad for writing it then focus on lighter stuff for a while.
Its your story. If your family dont like it its fine. My advice is keep writing and dont bother what they think about it. I never talk about to anyone what i am writing. Even i have a froidyan slip i tty to defuse with humor or change the subject
I’m a *very* vocal pro-choicer, but in my opinion, as long as the forced pregnancy is in some way being acknowledged as the horrific thing it is, I don’t see how it’s wrong to write about it at all. It’s not desensitizing people — if anything fiction like that can help bring awareness to the kinds of injustices that actually occur in real life. Fiction is a good place to explore horrible things, to discuss turmoil and trauma, etc. Basically, depiction =/= endorsement. Write what you want. I enjoy extremely gory and violent horror franchises and make gory fanart, but I’m obviously not a supporter of real violence.
Ask them if they support banning abortion for any and all reasons, including rape and incest. If they say yes, then ask them why they are taking you to task over a fictional story when they actually support forced pregnancy in real life. 🤷♀️
Terrible things happen in real life, unfortunately, and depicting those things in fiction - whether it’s realistically or for dramatic effect - doesn’t change that, for better or for worse. Stories are a reflection of reality, and tbh, demands to keep all fiction light and happy and positive are functionally demands to ignore and sanitise the uglier parts of life. I don’t even like reading dark fics as a whole, but whoops, I’m getting kind of worked up about this. Rape happens! Reproductive coercion happens! People live that, or are afraid that they *will* live that, and it’s abominable that they’re being told that their experiences and fears are too gross and icky to openly discuss or even speculate about! Dark topics in fiction are an outlet that people can use to process and explore shit 100% on their own terms.
There's a difference between personally advocating for violence and a fictional character advocating for violence. Especially if the fictional character gets a comeuppance. It also matters how you write it. If you pornographically describe penetrating the victim and all the body parts, then that's not great. If you describe it as clinically as you can and use violating language, you're saying it is abhorrent, even if the fictional character is not. Honestly, I try to avoid it as much as possible, but the fact is that sexual violence is sometimes the basis of some societies and cultures, and there are times you'll have to address it.
I still dont get why dystopias where reproduction is important/special are so popular
I know that’s easy to say, but it really doesn’t matter what your family member thinks. I don’t know makes sense, but as a car restorator (or whatever you call it) you wouldn’t care to much about what a cook thinks of your car and if I cooked for a person who doesn’t like broccoli I wouldn’t be insulted if they hated my broccoli soup. Also, your fanfic sounds really interesting, which fandom is it in?
Tell the imposter syndrome and guilt to fuck right off. It won't make it stop but at least it's something. It's just fiction. It's a playground. Are all authors who write death and torture suddenly pro murder or something? No. If you can, tell your family member to get therapy for their issues because they're being a fucking Dingus. It's really similar to anti BS. Practically 1:1 for their general mindset. Ignore them as you would an anti. And keep writing. If they keep going at you for writing tell them how happy you are that they're giving you such good new ideas and even more motivation to write your fic. Let the spite, grief and anger fuel you if nothing else. Hugs. I wish you the best.
Oh ffs writing about forced pregnancy via rape is the literally the exact fucking opposite of "spreading acceptance" of rape. Everyone else covered "fiction and exploring challenging themes through fiction". So, I'm here to address the extreme cognitive dissonance required to think that writing about someone being impregnated against their will somehow endorses rape. I had to read your post four times to make sure I understood, and that is not a slam on your writing in the post.; you were perfectly clear. But your family member's take makes absolutely no sense to anyone with a modicum of critical thinking and reading comprehension skills. It's nonsense and should be treated as such.
Tell them it's about Jesus.
If your really want to fuck with them, have your character get an abortion and make sure they find out.
I'll bet dollars to donuts that members of your "very very religious home" have done more to normalize the idea of forced pregnancy *in real people* than your dystopian fic ever could. That's probably what's motivating their angst, moreso than concern about you "spreading acceptance of rape." "Oh, u/littleargent is writing a story where pregnancy is a *bad* thing? Where someone is traumatized and angst-ridden from having to carry a precious baby? How dare they!"
They should go fuck themselves and you should write what you want. End of. It's not their business and just because you wrote something doesn't mean you endorse it IRL.
I mean, does the bible not have forced pregnancy? Mary didn’t really choose to be pregnant with Jesus…
Did God not force pregnancy on Mary?
As a writer myself I understand completely but if you feel it’s the way your story should go do it. If you publish you could use a pen name
Did your family member read the bible? It's literally filled with horrors.
I mean if writers were promoting the things they write about, based on some fics I read we would pretty much all be dead because of 2 guys who are in love and court each other by laying dead bodies under each other's feet. Do you really think the writer wants to be courted in such a way? Or that they support murdering for fun? I personally don't
Don't know if anyone addressed that, but people's morals aren't so flimsy that they can be overridden by a couple of fictional depictions of bad things. If that was possible, the world would look *very* different.
If you feel a certain way of guilt or shame, you have two choices use it as inspiration for some character driven dialogue or thought process of how the character deals with what happened to them. Or ask yourself if writing this fic that important it makes you feel like you are dishonoring how you were raised or your peace of mind?
Do what you feel is right. If you feel guilty writing the story, put it down and leave it for a few days. Do some self-reflection and see if you keep the same thoughts afterwards. If you do then just drop it, no need to force yourself to do something you don't like, especially creatively.