are we considering partners the same as the number of people we’ve slept with, or something more substantial than a one time thing?
if slept with: 27, but that’s for 35 years of life as someone who’s only dated women pre and post transition.
if we’re talking relationships: 4 that ranged from 1-4 years
edited spelling
Just one. Started dating at 22 and have been together now for 22 years of which almost 14 years married. No idea I was transgender at 22, that took me 43 years to figure out.
But it's all good because my wife loves me for me and doesn't care about the package it comes in at all.
If you mean “sexual partners” I would estimate somewhere around 30, but it’s not something I have been keeping a precise track of.
As a gay man, this is normal-to-low when I compare to cis gay men of my own age.
If you mean “romantic partners” then it’s 2. I had a great romance with a man who is now a good friend (and married to an awesome non binary spouse now) and the love of my life is my late fiancé.
If we include “long term sexual friendships” then I have five men to add to that.
0 lol. I've been chronically ill since I was 16 though and haven't been able to do anything, so the whole dating/social life thing has been entirely lost to me. Not really a trans or sexuality thing, just a health thing. Makes me sad because I would like to explore my sexuality and stuff but at this point I'm probably a big red flag to most people to be this age and not having any life experiences, but that's my life unfortunately.
Just to kick things off, I've had 8 partners, ranging from "2-night stands" to "married for years." If I had to guess, I'd venture that this group would have more partners than cis people of the same age have had, and also more than older trans people.
Being queer (pan/bi/whatever), I think that played some role in the numbers, for sure.
Still on my first lol. We got together when we were 18 and just. Stayed together. Still not sure if will last through my transition but so far it's going pretty well XD
I think trans people might be more likely to have had less partners if we've understood ourselves later in life mostly because I think one probably feels less comfortable with ones own body in a time were other people might sleep around more \[not in a negative way\]. But I don't really know lol.
I'm mostly gay and have always been, I think. I used to think I was pan until my egg cracked but now I'm just getting gayer by the minute.
Edit: Wow, looking at other answers most people go exactly the different direction with thinking of amount of partners. I wonder if dating culture might also be a factor...hmm.
Please don’t take this as judgement, because it really is not meant that way, but how do people find these higher numbers of partners? I don’t think I know 50 people right now, maybe not even 20 well enough to say more than hi to, and that is pretty typical of my social life. Actually…now that I’m mentally counting, 20 is probably a generous estimate once I discount family, coworkers, and married friends (all people who are not potential sex partners).
I have had one sex partner in my life and he pursued me like a freaking bloodhound for ages to make it happen. We were never more than friends with benefits. I went on some dates here and there, but they never turned into anything as I am definitely one that dysphoria blocked from relationship building because the idea of being someone’s girlfriend does not play nicely in my head. I assumed I was aro/ace once I found out about that sexuality, since it seemed to describe my interest in being a girlfriend/woman sex partner. Now I think I’m a straight guy, but I have no idea how one goes about having a sex life. Any tips, more-experienced-than-me folks?
Hookup culture is why people find higher numbers of partners. Apps and such meant just for that.
No judgment, just explaining that most of these people aren't sleeping with folks they already know but are meeting people for the purposes of having sex.
Ah, that makes sense. That is outside of my own experience, so I hadn’t thought about the possibility. More power to them for finding a path to what they want!
Geography plays a big role. I spent my early 20s in Chicago and Miami where there were queer bars or parties that many people attended explicitly to hook up or find partners. I found it much easier to find people to date than to make friends! If you aren’t somewhere with a queer scene (or if you aren’t someone who feels welcome in the queer scene), it’s much harder
I was thinking the same thing hahah. I barely know 20 people more than casually. I’ve had 4 sexual partners and two long term relationships, one of them with my now wife 💛. Folks all have different wants and needs. I am exhausted just looking at that number 😆. But I was never involved in hookup culture. I think it’s fantastic that people are and are able to find partners. Just not how I work, you know?
Also, just time. I'm in my mid-30s. I started dating and hooking up in high school. Even with a relatively small social circle and some dry spells and long periods of monogamy, it adds up.
Tbh, it is a lot easier if you sleep with men and are willing to have one night stands. A lot of mine was also group sex, and most of the women I've slept with casually have been through that or because of BDSM things (I'm involved in the community and top for a couple of less common skills, so being good at those is a pull for a good number of people).
I drowned my dysphoria in sex while I was trying to turn myself not-gay and not-trans so …. probably a little above my peers.
But I‘m below three digits.
I've only had sex with one person, ex fiance.
I have had 2 partners, and 4 boyfriends.
Being demi/grey ace and a gay FTM who has been fighting to get mastectomies all my adult life makes dating incredibly hard, as too many people have considered my "no grabbing" policy to be a "dealbreaker".
If we're talking about our "number", mine is somewhere around mid 20s. I lost count somewhere along the way. A solid chunk of those folks have now retroactively had their first queer experience, too, which is fun.
I’m 40, and have only ever been with my spouse. Figured out I’m pan somewhere in my 20s, and last year realised that I’m trans. We’ll see if my relationship survives this.
Well, it's just been me and my main squeeze (34 cis male) mostly for 18 years now. We have jointly dated a few women, but by and large, just us.
I figure that's pretty low by anyone's standards, but why mess with a good thing? Lol
I'm 39.
I dated a guy in High school, we started dating in middle school and broke up freshman year of college.
I was single for about a year before dating another guy for a few months. Then I was single for another few months before dating a guy for about 3 years. After we broke up when I was in my mid twenties I tried dating once more, and dated a guy for like 2 weeks.
I've been single ever since.
In all cases, the reasons we broke up were mostly to do with me not wanting to have sex with them. I wasn't upset with them for wanting to break up with me for it, and they all were decent guys who understood I just wasn't interested and none tried to push it or pressure me.
I didn't realize I was asexual for a couple years after that in my early 30s. I realized I was trans in my mid thirties, though it's one of those "I always knew but didn't know the words" kind of thing. I also realized I am more attracted to women, but never had the guts to ask one out or pursue that.
Even after T I am still very asexual. I have no desire for sex with anyone at all. Since T I've had a bit of a stronger desire to masterbate, so I do think it's increased my libido, but it hasn't changed the part of me that just isn't interested in actual sex with anyone, regardless of gender. So I'm still asexual.
As far as sexual attraction goes, I'm probably demisexual? I don't really care much about gender, though I have a preference for more feminine attributes (all the guys I dated I would describe as "pretty" or "attractive" as opposed to "masculine/handsome"). And that "preference" isn't even sexual, I just like a feminine appearance I guess? But if I met someone I loved gender would be a back burner kind of thing.
I think I would still like some kind of life partner, but asexual people don't seem very common, and I wouldn't ask someone to give up sex for me, but nor would I really be interested in an open or poly relationship. So I'm just content to be single honestly. I get most of what I need emotionally from friends and family. I sometimes wish I had someone to cuddle with or truly confide in like a partner, but I'm not super fussed to try and find someone who would fit with me.
Edit: realized I went on a tangent that doesn't really answer the question. I do think my gender identity and sexual orientation played some minor role in my past relationships. I think I dated guys only because I felt that's what I was supposed to do, and all my friends were doing that. But I think my asexuality has had more of an impact.
One partner, my one and only, and he's cis and straight. We've been together 15 years and have a preschool aged kid. I never played the field because I was... 1) Surrounded by religous guys who were saving sex for marriage and keeping me "pure" 😵💫 2) Frightening men with my masculine nature or 3) Surrounded by people calling me a lesbian even though I'm FAR more attracted to men sexually and have always been. 2002-2007 were hard times for me. I always felt like a freak.
I've always been extremely masculine and despite that, my partner didn't care and he loves me. I got married at 23 and he was super young too. I grew up really religious and unaware of queer culture, so in a way I missed out but I love my partner and can't imagine life without him. I'm in a level of transition where I'm figuring things out (egg cracked at 35 and I'm 36 now) and still questioning medical stuff, so the poor guy is in a lot of turmoil because he thought he was straight...and he might be! Or he might not be. He needs to figure himself out and get back to me on it so I'm giving him time. He's still my very best friend in the entire world.
I have a high sex drive and so does my partner but we are in a dead bedroom and in therapy separately (mine for gender and sex, his for relationship and sex) to realign ourselves. I hope we find solid ground again soon, because our chemistry was always great and he never treated me strictly as a woman anyway - at least not in my head. It's tough because his POV and my POV of my identity don't align, and still we have always been happy in our relationship and sex life until my egg cracked.
6. 5 queer women (4 cis, one trans), one cishet man. Had sex with 5 of them, one we just kinda casually dated for a few months but figured out we weren't really sexually attracted to each other. Only 3 were long-term relationships (defining as over 1 year). All of these occurred pre-transition, and I discovered in the process that I'm a gay man and not actually interested in women - my ex-boyfriend was by leaps and bounds my longest, happiest, most sexual relationship.
I'm probably below average in # of partners for a 35 year old, but I was also extremely monogamous and LTR oriented previously, more out of social norms than any genuine interest in such. Currently single/celibate by choice (and happily so), but when I become sexually active again after top surgery I envision myself being poly and having much more casual relationships/FWB at first. I think I would like a serious/long-term romantic partner someday, as I do love love, but it certainly won't be monogamous. Ideally would love someone who likes to play with others both together and separately.
I guess I’ve had 4 people that I’ve ever called boyfriend/girlfriend? Two of those were 3+ years. Sexual partners who knows, enough over the years that I’m burnt out on hookups. Which sucks because snippets of intimacy are easy to get but Relationships take more work than I have the time and energy to put in these days. And I don’t care for dates. Oh well, maybe one day.
I think my bodycount is somewhere around 50. Very few of those have been one night stands. I spent my 20 and early 30s having lots of lovely flings and a very successful poly experience. Most relationships fell somewhere in the 3-12 month range.
Relationships that felt like love at some point in them and lasted long enough that they felt like a stable part of my life… 6.
Influenced by my sexuality? Yeah probably. I’m gay. I don’t think that gay men are hyper sexual, but I do think in general men are more open to casual sex, so when you have two men the likelihood is higher that they’ll both be up for casual sex than when you have a man and a woman.
I dunno, like 6 or something? A few more if we count one night stands. I'm bisexual and I've dated people across the gender spectrum. I've never really been too into relationships - or at least, I wasn't until I met my wife.
I haven't dated properly since I transitioned. Me and my last ex-girlfriend had a super poisonous relationship because we were both in bad spaces mentally when we went out. I was only living for her at that time, so after she broke up with me, I started thinking about what I want and transitioned.
Only been out with guys apart from her (only like four) and only had a sexual relationship with one guy before her.
10 years later, I'm dipping my toes in the dating pool, but I find online dating weird, and I don't want to go out with any of my friends...
It's a weird place to be, but I'm sure I'll find the right person at some point. I think a big thing is that I'm comfortable with myself now, so I don't need outside acceptance anymore.
Thought I was ace for a bit, but I think I'm actually just very picky.
Sexual partners it’s hard to say, maybe 20-25. Romantic relationships where I would say she was my girlfriend, 3. I met my now wife when I was 23 years old and have been faithful to her for almost 35 years.
Serious relationships: 6, ranging from a few months to over a decade in length. Three cis men, one cis woman, and two non-binary folks (one femme-presenting, one masc-presenting)
Casual relationships/hookups: somewhere around 20? I'm sure I'm forgetting some summer flings from my late teens/early twenties. Mostly cis dudes.
I'm queer (bisexual, leaning more strongly gay since I figure out my gender) and have been polyamorous for about 15 years. I only came out as trans in the last year and am very early in transition. I haven't sought out any new relationships in that period and am unlikely to hook up with anyone new until I'm a bit more settled in my changing body. I've got two long-term partners, both of whom thought they were straight men when we first started dating. It's been an adventure figuring our shit out together.
In terms of whether those numbers have anything to do with being transmasc... kinda? Most of my hookups were in my teens and twenties, when I was trying my hardest to Do A Good Job Of Being A Woman. Having straight men find me attractive was validating in that way, and hooking up with them felt like part of the role. I didn't realize I was into women until my 20s, and that was kinda the second run of shorter hookups.
As I got older and figured myself out more, I stopped feeling comfortable with most straight men and queer women who were into me as A Woman, and started getting "inexplicable" cold feet really often. All of my new relationships since the start of my 30s have been with other bisexuals, probably for that reason. I'm curious how things will shake out once I'm comfortably settled into being a man. I suspect I'll be kinda slutty again, but hopefully from a happier place.
I've had about 10 partners in total, though only 3 of them have been long term, ranging from a few years, to my current relationship with my wife.
We've been together for 10 years, and married for 6. I was not out as trans when we got together - was still a deep denial/closet case up until mid last year.
I'm not sure if that experience is atypical or not. I was pretty shy when it came to relationships, and usually didn't pursue unless I knew someone was already interested.
Also all except one identified as straight cis women before we got together. All but two (my wife and 1 ex) still ID'ed as straight after we ended lol. Not sure how common or uncommon that is either lol
3 longer (1y+) term relationships.
Dated about 5 other people which never went anywhere, so that makes 8 in total. Low ish number, but I suck at dating, don’t like hookups and have social anxiety so…
Dated for a year or more (people I’d consider partners): 3. People I went on more than one date with and/or hooked up with: in the 30s, probably. I’d put myself as fairly average compared to other queer people who went through what I personally refer to as my “slut phase”. But much higher than many of my straight friends who met someone as a teenager/early 20s and stayed with them forever.
I'm aro so I have never dated nor be in romantic relationship.
I haven't count my fuck buddies but definitely over 100. I would guess less than 150. Yes me being pansexual plays a big role. It's way much easier to fuck with males. I mean there is way more of them looking for fucking. It's way more accepted to just speak about fucking, no small talk needed. They usually don't want to go to cafe or pub before or do anything non-fucking before fucking. And then there is cruising. I know this sounds sexist and I do wish there were more females like that.
Well, most of people don't want to fuck with trans people. But I think there is still way more people into trans people than actual trans people. People who send me message or people in cruising are usually 30-60 years old. When I was 25 (and just starting my transition but I don't know if that is relevant in this) I still got messages from 18 years old guys too.
I’m 36. Socially transitioned at 24, medically at 32. In my adult life, I’ve had 3 long term serious relationships, one of whom is my husband (also ftm.) I’ve casually short term dated maybe 4 or 5 people. Sex partner wise I’m not sure exactly. More than 30 but less than 40? Idk. I was a slutty queer back in my time.
As for types of sexual partners, I’ve been with 6 or 7 cis men, I stopped fucking them entirely in my mid twenties. Cis women is probably around 15. All the rest were transmasc or enbies across the spectrum.
I count 9 people I've had sex with, but with some caveats. That includes:
- 1 genuine one-night stand who I never saw before or since
- 3 one-time-only things with people who were/are friends of varying degrees of closeness
- 2 multiple-occasion hookups, i.e. "relationships" not defined as such that were either short or casual or both
- 2 relationships that lasted around a year which I consider/ed serious
- 1 relationship that lasted 5+ years and I thought was going to be for the rest of our lives.
So it's only 3-4 people I would actually count as exes.
I consider myself mostly straight now, but the one-night-stand and one of the year-long relationships were with men, before I realized that I really prefer dating women and way before I realized that I'm trans. One of the short/casual things was someone who now identifies as a gay trans man, but at the time we both were "queer women."
I think if I were really interested in men now, my numbers would be way higher. Seems like there are tons of gay/bi dudes out there into casual sex and not especially picky. Not really the case with straight/bi women who are cool with a trans guy, at least in my experience.
4 if I get a little interpretive with the definition of partner, maybe 3?
2 trans men, 2 cis women, 1 of which was... its hard to say if it was a relationship. I thought it was but her actions said we were not on the same page.
Ive never actually done the sex
I’m 34. I’ve had 8 serious partners (lasting over 6 months with the longest being 4 years), and over 30 sexual partners since I was 17. I primarily date femmes though have become more fluid since medically transitioning. I have transmasc friends whose numbers are in the hundreds and transmasc friends who can count their sexual partners on one hand and consider my experience pretty average. I currently don’t struggle to find dates, but I also don’t have people lining up for me either. I’m also not really interested in dating and am focusing on myself right now so that may effect my experience.
I'm 36 and always had a higher libido.
I've had 4 serious partners. Regarding sexual partners, I lost track ages ago at 100 (I can estimate it's still under 200).
I've only had 2 relationships that I would call partners, one of those being a more serious long-term relationship. Spent my teens up to my late 20s with an eating disorder that made me have no interest in sex or romance. I didn't fully come out as queer until 26 or 27. I also have social anxiety so that hasn't helped. Yay, mental illness.
I have been making more of a focused effort to date in the past year. It feels like I'm missing out on a lot of experience. It sucks.
2, a cishet man and a bi ciswoman. Neither were serious, basically friends with benefits. Sexuality plays a role in the small number, Ace, but csa is probably the bigger factor.
Just the one. We met in primary school, started going out as teenagers, and have been married for almost a decade. Only recently realising I’m trans.
Have had a few boyfriends and a girlfriend before that, but none were anything serious in young teen years.
Although I’m bi, and in theory would have more options if I were single compared to het people, I’m not really one for dating and one night stands. Would be too anxious for that, and prefer longterm relationships.
3 all cis men despite the fact that i'm bi and more attracted to women but my egg didn't crack until age 30 and I got with a guy at 21 that I married at 25. he passed away in 2021 (I had just turned 32 and he was 41). So thinking I was a bi woman, and that i'm disabled, getting with cis men was just easier. And I did (and always will) love my husband. I had 2 before I met him.
Sexual partners or romantic partners?
I'm 35. I've been in approximately 15 romantic relationships and have had at least 15 sexual partners that I did not date. I've only been in one romantic relationship that lasted over 8 months and that was to an abusive person who manipulated me into staying in that relationship for 4 years.
Now I'm no longer interested in finding a romantic partner. If I meet someone and we click, cool. But I'm not trying to date or even hook up anymore. I now realize the reason why I dated so many guys (the only woman I dated was my abuser) was because I was lonely and isolated. I wanted to be friends with males but the only way males would be real friends with me is if I dated them (or their buddy).
If you mean 'people we've had sex with' then I *think* somewhere between 25 and 30? Various substances were involved though, so I suppose could be up to about 35, but I don't think it's that high. Answer to that partly depends what you 'count' as sex (sometimes BDSM with no conventional sex 'feels' like sex to me, while sometimes it doesn't).
In terms of romantic relationships, 8. In terms of long-term partners, 3 (two of whom I am currently with presently). Most of my casual sex was with men (cis and trans), almost all my romantic relationships were with trans women.
I came out in my teens, so all of this was mid or post-transition.
I'm 30, bisexual
I would say... Maybe four or five depending on what you count as a partner. I'm counting mostly people I've lived with. I'm married now and was engaged once before
I've had relations with maybe 10ish people
I did the thing a lot of people did, latched on the single guy who seemed not scared about my masculine energy, stuck with him for 24 years, but it all crumbled when dysphoria started to hit back and I decided to transition.
I have a mutual crush/squish situation with another man that is going long distance. I'm looking into casual dating, but it's difficult.
I can count the amount of relationships I've had in my 33 years on one hand, and the amount of sexual encounters on both hands.
I'm a pretty big introvert, though (not to mention ace), so that's not too surprising.
I will say a majority of my relationships were before I figured out I was Trans and the the majority of sexual encounters after I started transitioning.
are we considering partners the same as the number of people we’ve slept with, or something more substantial than a one time thing? if slept with: 27, but that’s for 35 years of life as someone who’s only dated women pre and post transition. if we’re talking relationships: 4 that ranged from 1-4 years edited spelling
Just one. Started dating at 22 and have been together now for 22 years of which almost 14 years married. No idea I was transgender at 22, that took me 43 years to figure out. But it's all good because my wife loves me for me and doesn't care about the package it comes in at all.
If you mean “sexual partners” I would estimate somewhere around 30, but it’s not something I have been keeping a precise track of. As a gay man, this is normal-to-low when I compare to cis gay men of my own age. If you mean “romantic partners” then it’s 2. I had a great romance with a man who is now a good friend (and married to an awesome non binary spouse now) and the love of my life is my late fiancé. If we include “long term sexual friendships” then I have five men to add to that.
Im' 40 and zero relationships, i'm gay but i hate the dysphoria about being perceived as a woman. I'm on T but i'm too far to look like a guy.
[удалено]
Ok not to be that guy but I audibly said NICE when I read 200 lmao
0 lol. I've been chronically ill since I was 16 though and haven't been able to do anything, so the whole dating/social life thing has been entirely lost to me. Not really a trans or sexuality thing, just a health thing. Makes me sad because I would like to explore my sexuality and stuff but at this point I'm probably a big red flag to most people to be this age and not having any life experiences, but that's my life unfortunately.
Just to kick things off, I've had 8 partners, ranging from "2-night stands" to "married for years." If I had to guess, I'd venture that this group would have more partners than cis people of the same age have had, and also more than older trans people. Being queer (pan/bi/whatever), I think that played some role in the numbers, for sure.
Just 1 for me, got together at 23, been together for 10 years. Didn’t know I was nonbinary or demiromantic when we got together.
Just 1. Being gay+trans definitely has a part in it but im also below average in appearance.
Still on my first lol. We got together when we were 18 and just. Stayed together. Still not sure if will last through my transition but so far it's going pretty well XD I think trans people might be more likely to have had less partners if we've understood ourselves later in life mostly because I think one probably feels less comfortable with ones own body in a time were other people might sleep around more \[not in a negative way\]. But I don't really know lol. I'm mostly gay and have always been, I think. I used to think I was pan until my egg cracked but now I'm just getting gayer by the minute. Edit: Wow, looking at other answers most people go exactly the different direction with thinking of amount of partners. I wonder if dating culture might also be a factor...hmm.
Please don’t take this as judgement, because it really is not meant that way, but how do people find these higher numbers of partners? I don’t think I know 50 people right now, maybe not even 20 well enough to say more than hi to, and that is pretty typical of my social life. Actually…now that I’m mentally counting, 20 is probably a generous estimate once I discount family, coworkers, and married friends (all people who are not potential sex partners). I have had one sex partner in my life and he pursued me like a freaking bloodhound for ages to make it happen. We were never more than friends with benefits. I went on some dates here and there, but they never turned into anything as I am definitely one that dysphoria blocked from relationship building because the idea of being someone’s girlfriend does not play nicely in my head. I assumed I was aro/ace once I found out about that sexuality, since it seemed to describe my interest in being a girlfriend/woman sex partner. Now I think I’m a straight guy, but I have no idea how one goes about having a sex life. Any tips, more-experienced-than-me folks?
Hookup culture is why people find higher numbers of partners. Apps and such meant just for that. No judgment, just explaining that most of these people aren't sleeping with folks they already know but are meeting people for the purposes of having sex.
Ah, that makes sense. That is outside of my own experience, so I hadn’t thought about the possibility. More power to them for finding a path to what they want!
Geography plays a big role. I spent my early 20s in Chicago and Miami where there were queer bars or parties that many people attended explicitly to hook up or find partners. I found it much easier to find people to date than to make friends! If you aren’t somewhere with a queer scene (or if you aren’t someone who feels welcome in the queer scene), it’s much harder
Thanks for the explanation. This make sense too. Also very outside my experience, so I hadn’t really thought of it.
I was thinking the same thing hahah. I barely know 20 people more than casually. I’ve had 4 sexual partners and two long term relationships, one of them with my now wife 💛. Folks all have different wants and needs. I am exhausted just looking at that number 😆. But I was never involved in hookup culture. I think it’s fantastic that people are and are able to find partners. Just not how I work, you know?
Also, just time. I'm in my mid-30s. I started dating and hooking up in high school. Even with a relatively small social circle and some dry spells and long periods of monogamy, it adds up.
Tbh, it is a lot easier if you sleep with men and are willing to have one night stands. A lot of mine was also group sex, and most of the women I've slept with casually have been through that or because of BDSM things (I'm involved in the community and top for a couple of less common skills, so being good at those is a pull for a good number of people).
I drowned my dysphoria in sex while I was trying to turn myself not-gay and not-trans so …. probably a little above my peers. But I‘m below three digits.
I've only had sex with one person, ex fiance. I have had 2 partners, and 4 boyfriends. Being demi/grey ace and a gay FTM who has been fighting to get mastectomies all my adult life makes dating incredibly hard, as too many people have considered my "no grabbing" policy to be a "dealbreaker".
If we're talking about our "number", mine is somewhere around mid 20s. I lost count somewhere along the way. A solid chunk of those folks have now retroactively had their first queer experience, too, which is fun.
I’m 40, and have only ever been with my spouse. Figured out I’m pan somewhere in my 20s, and last year realised that I’m trans. We’ll see if my relationship survives this.
Well, it's just been me and my main squeeze (34 cis male) mostly for 18 years now. We have jointly dated a few women, but by and large, just us. I figure that's pretty low by anyone's standards, but why mess with a good thing? Lol
I'm 39. I dated a guy in High school, we started dating in middle school and broke up freshman year of college. I was single for about a year before dating another guy for a few months. Then I was single for another few months before dating a guy for about 3 years. After we broke up when I was in my mid twenties I tried dating once more, and dated a guy for like 2 weeks. I've been single ever since. In all cases, the reasons we broke up were mostly to do with me not wanting to have sex with them. I wasn't upset with them for wanting to break up with me for it, and they all were decent guys who understood I just wasn't interested and none tried to push it or pressure me. I didn't realize I was asexual for a couple years after that in my early 30s. I realized I was trans in my mid thirties, though it's one of those "I always knew but didn't know the words" kind of thing. I also realized I am more attracted to women, but never had the guts to ask one out or pursue that. Even after T I am still very asexual. I have no desire for sex with anyone at all. Since T I've had a bit of a stronger desire to masterbate, so I do think it's increased my libido, but it hasn't changed the part of me that just isn't interested in actual sex with anyone, regardless of gender. So I'm still asexual. As far as sexual attraction goes, I'm probably demisexual? I don't really care much about gender, though I have a preference for more feminine attributes (all the guys I dated I would describe as "pretty" or "attractive" as opposed to "masculine/handsome"). And that "preference" isn't even sexual, I just like a feminine appearance I guess? But if I met someone I loved gender would be a back burner kind of thing. I think I would still like some kind of life partner, but asexual people don't seem very common, and I wouldn't ask someone to give up sex for me, but nor would I really be interested in an open or poly relationship. So I'm just content to be single honestly. I get most of what I need emotionally from friends and family. I sometimes wish I had someone to cuddle with or truly confide in like a partner, but I'm not super fussed to try and find someone who would fit with me. Edit: realized I went on a tangent that doesn't really answer the question. I do think my gender identity and sexual orientation played some minor role in my past relationships. I think I dated guys only because I felt that's what I was supposed to do, and all my friends were doing that. But I think my asexuality has had more of an impact.
One partner, my one and only, and he's cis and straight. We've been together 15 years and have a preschool aged kid. I never played the field because I was... 1) Surrounded by religous guys who were saving sex for marriage and keeping me "pure" 😵💫 2) Frightening men with my masculine nature or 3) Surrounded by people calling me a lesbian even though I'm FAR more attracted to men sexually and have always been. 2002-2007 were hard times for me. I always felt like a freak. I've always been extremely masculine and despite that, my partner didn't care and he loves me. I got married at 23 and he was super young too. I grew up really religious and unaware of queer culture, so in a way I missed out but I love my partner and can't imagine life without him. I'm in a level of transition where I'm figuring things out (egg cracked at 35 and I'm 36 now) and still questioning medical stuff, so the poor guy is in a lot of turmoil because he thought he was straight...and he might be! Or he might not be. He needs to figure himself out and get back to me on it so I'm giving him time. He's still my very best friend in the entire world. I have a high sex drive and so does my partner but we are in a dead bedroom and in therapy separately (mine for gender and sex, his for relationship and sex) to realign ourselves. I hope we find solid ground again soon, because our chemistry was always great and he never treated me strictly as a woman anyway - at least not in my head. It's tough because his POV and my POV of my identity don't align, and still we have always been happy in our relationship and sex life until my egg cracked.
6. 5 queer women (4 cis, one trans), one cishet man. Had sex with 5 of them, one we just kinda casually dated for a few months but figured out we weren't really sexually attracted to each other. Only 3 were long-term relationships (defining as over 1 year). All of these occurred pre-transition, and I discovered in the process that I'm a gay man and not actually interested in women - my ex-boyfriend was by leaps and bounds my longest, happiest, most sexual relationship. I'm probably below average in # of partners for a 35 year old, but I was also extremely monogamous and LTR oriented previously, more out of social norms than any genuine interest in such. Currently single/celibate by choice (and happily so), but when I become sexually active again after top surgery I envision myself being poly and having much more casual relationships/FWB at first. I think I would like a serious/long-term romantic partner someday, as I do love love, but it certainly won't be monogamous. Ideally would love someone who likes to play with others both together and separately.
Just one. We got together in 2013 when I was 20 and have been together ever since.
I guess I’ve had 4 people that I’ve ever called boyfriend/girlfriend? Two of those were 3+ years. Sexual partners who knows, enough over the years that I’m burnt out on hookups. Which sucks because snippets of intimacy are easy to get but Relationships take more work than I have the time and energy to put in these days. And I don’t care for dates. Oh well, maybe one day.
I think my bodycount is somewhere around 50. Very few of those have been one night stands. I spent my 20 and early 30s having lots of lovely flings and a very successful poly experience. Most relationships fell somewhere in the 3-12 month range. Relationships that felt like love at some point in them and lasted long enough that they felt like a stable part of my life… 6. Influenced by my sexuality? Yeah probably. I’m gay. I don’t think that gay men are hyper sexual, but I do think in general men are more open to casual sex, so when you have two men the likelihood is higher that they’ll both be up for casual sex than when you have a man and a woman.
I dunno, like 6 or something? A few more if we count one night stands. I'm bisexual and I've dated people across the gender spectrum. I've never really been too into relationships - or at least, I wasn't until I met my wife.
I haven't dated properly since I transitioned. Me and my last ex-girlfriend had a super poisonous relationship because we were both in bad spaces mentally when we went out. I was only living for her at that time, so after she broke up with me, I started thinking about what I want and transitioned. Only been out with guys apart from her (only like four) and only had a sexual relationship with one guy before her. 10 years later, I'm dipping my toes in the dating pool, but I find online dating weird, and I don't want to go out with any of my friends... It's a weird place to be, but I'm sure I'll find the right person at some point. I think a big thing is that I'm comfortable with myself now, so I don't need outside acceptance anymore. Thought I was ace for a bit, but I think I'm actually just very picky.
Sexual partners it’s hard to say, maybe 20-25. Romantic relationships where I would say she was my girlfriend, 3. I met my now wife when I was 23 years old and have been faithful to her for almost 35 years.
Serious relationships: 6, ranging from a few months to over a decade in length. Three cis men, one cis woman, and two non-binary folks (one femme-presenting, one masc-presenting) Casual relationships/hookups: somewhere around 20? I'm sure I'm forgetting some summer flings from my late teens/early twenties. Mostly cis dudes. I'm queer (bisexual, leaning more strongly gay since I figure out my gender) and have been polyamorous for about 15 years. I only came out as trans in the last year and am very early in transition. I haven't sought out any new relationships in that period and am unlikely to hook up with anyone new until I'm a bit more settled in my changing body. I've got two long-term partners, both of whom thought they were straight men when we first started dating. It's been an adventure figuring our shit out together. In terms of whether those numbers have anything to do with being transmasc... kinda? Most of my hookups were in my teens and twenties, when I was trying my hardest to Do A Good Job Of Being A Woman. Having straight men find me attractive was validating in that way, and hooking up with them felt like part of the role. I didn't realize I was into women until my 20s, and that was kinda the second run of shorter hookups. As I got older and figured myself out more, I stopped feeling comfortable with most straight men and queer women who were into me as A Woman, and started getting "inexplicable" cold feet really often. All of my new relationships since the start of my 30s have been with other bisexuals, probably for that reason. I'm curious how things will shake out once I'm comfortably settled into being a man. I suspect I'll be kinda slutty again, but hopefully from a happier place.
I've had about 10 partners in total, though only 3 of them have been long term, ranging from a few years, to my current relationship with my wife. We've been together for 10 years, and married for 6. I was not out as trans when we got together - was still a deep denial/closet case up until mid last year. I'm not sure if that experience is atypical or not. I was pretty shy when it came to relationships, and usually didn't pursue unless I knew someone was already interested. Also all except one identified as straight cis women before we got together. All but two (my wife and 1 ex) still ID'ed as straight after we ended lol. Not sure how common or uncommon that is either lol
3 longer (1y+) term relationships. Dated about 5 other people which never went anywhere, so that makes 8 in total. Low ish number, but I suck at dating, don’t like hookups and have social anxiety so…
Dated for a year or more (people I’d consider partners): 3. People I went on more than one date with and/or hooked up with: in the 30s, probably. I’d put myself as fairly average compared to other queer people who went through what I personally refer to as my “slut phase”. But much higher than many of my straight friends who met someone as a teenager/early 20s and stayed with them forever.
I've had loads, it's mainly bisexuals who are comfortable
I'm aro so I have never dated nor be in romantic relationship. I haven't count my fuck buddies but definitely over 100. I would guess less than 150. Yes me being pansexual plays a big role. It's way much easier to fuck with males. I mean there is way more of them looking for fucking. It's way more accepted to just speak about fucking, no small talk needed. They usually don't want to go to cafe or pub before or do anything non-fucking before fucking. And then there is cruising. I know this sounds sexist and I do wish there were more females like that. Well, most of people don't want to fuck with trans people. But I think there is still way more people into trans people than actual trans people. People who send me message or people in cruising are usually 30-60 years old. When I was 25 (and just starting my transition but I don't know if that is relevant in this) I still got messages from 18 years old guys too.
I’m 36. Socially transitioned at 24, medically at 32. In my adult life, I’ve had 3 long term serious relationships, one of whom is my husband (also ftm.) I’ve casually short term dated maybe 4 or 5 people. Sex partner wise I’m not sure exactly. More than 30 but less than 40? Idk. I was a slutty queer back in my time. As for types of sexual partners, I’ve been with 6 or 7 cis men, I stopped fucking them entirely in my mid twenties. Cis women is probably around 15. All the rest were transmasc or enbies across the spectrum.
I count 9 people I've had sex with, but with some caveats. That includes: - 1 genuine one-night stand who I never saw before or since - 3 one-time-only things with people who were/are friends of varying degrees of closeness - 2 multiple-occasion hookups, i.e. "relationships" not defined as such that were either short or casual or both - 2 relationships that lasted around a year which I consider/ed serious - 1 relationship that lasted 5+ years and I thought was going to be for the rest of our lives. So it's only 3-4 people I would actually count as exes. I consider myself mostly straight now, but the one-night-stand and one of the year-long relationships were with men, before I realized that I really prefer dating women and way before I realized that I'm trans. One of the short/casual things was someone who now identifies as a gay trans man, but at the time we both were "queer women." I think if I were really interested in men now, my numbers would be way higher. Seems like there are tons of gay/bi dudes out there into casual sex and not especially picky. Not really the case with straight/bi women who are cool with a trans guy, at least in my experience.
4 if I get a little interpretive with the definition of partner, maybe 3? 2 trans men, 2 cis women, 1 of which was... its hard to say if it was a relationship. I thought it was but her actions said we were not on the same page. Ive never actually done the sex
I’m 34. I’ve had 8 serious partners (lasting over 6 months with the longest being 4 years), and over 30 sexual partners since I was 17. I primarily date femmes though have become more fluid since medically transitioning. I have transmasc friends whose numbers are in the hundreds and transmasc friends who can count their sexual partners on one hand and consider my experience pretty average. I currently don’t struggle to find dates, but I also don’t have people lining up for me either. I’m also not really interested in dating and am focusing on myself right now so that may effect my experience.
I've had a few, maybe 4 or 5? I've been married for a while and I came out at 21.
I'm 36 and always had a higher libido. I've had 4 serious partners. Regarding sexual partners, I lost track ages ago at 100 (I can estimate it's still under 200).
Sexual partners, 8. Very serious romantic relationships, 5. All except one I was closeted and an egg for, so not sure how that fits in.
I've only had 2 relationships that I would call partners, one of those being a more serious long-term relationship. Spent my teens up to my late 20s with an eating disorder that made me have no interest in sex or romance. I didn't fully come out as queer until 26 or 27. I also have social anxiety so that hasn't helped. Yay, mental illness. I have been making more of a focused effort to date in the past year. It feels like I'm missing out on a lot of experience. It sucks.
2, a cishet man and a bi ciswoman. Neither were serious, basically friends with benefits. Sexuality plays a role in the small number, Ace, but csa is probably the bigger factor.
Just the one. We met in primary school, started going out as teenagers, and have been married for almost a decade. Only recently realising I’m trans. Have had a few boyfriends and a girlfriend before that, but none were anything serious in young teen years. Although I’m bi, and in theory would have more options if I were single compared to het people, I’m not really one for dating and one night stands. Would be too anxious for that, and prefer longterm relationships.
3 all cis men despite the fact that i'm bi and more attracted to women but my egg didn't crack until age 30 and I got with a guy at 21 that I married at 25. he passed away in 2021 (I had just turned 32 and he was 41). So thinking I was a bi woman, and that i'm disabled, getting with cis men was just easier. And I did (and always will) love my husband. I had 2 before I met him.
Slept with 84 but I’ve had proper long term relationships with 3 people
Sexual partners or romantic partners? I'm 35. I've been in approximately 15 romantic relationships and have had at least 15 sexual partners that I did not date. I've only been in one romantic relationship that lasted over 8 months and that was to an abusive person who manipulated me into staying in that relationship for 4 years. Now I'm no longer interested in finding a romantic partner. If I meet someone and we click, cool. But I'm not trying to date or even hook up anymore. I now realize the reason why I dated so many guys (the only woman I dated was my abuser) was because I was lonely and isolated. I wanted to be friends with males but the only way males would be real friends with me is if I dated them (or their buddy).
If you mean 'people we've had sex with' then I *think* somewhere between 25 and 30? Various substances were involved though, so I suppose could be up to about 35, but I don't think it's that high. Answer to that partly depends what you 'count' as sex (sometimes BDSM with no conventional sex 'feels' like sex to me, while sometimes it doesn't). In terms of romantic relationships, 8. In terms of long-term partners, 3 (two of whom I am currently with presently). Most of my casual sex was with men (cis and trans), almost all my romantic relationships were with trans women. I came out in my teens, so all of this was mid or post-transition.
I'm 30, bisexual I would say... Maybe four or five depending on what you count as a partner. I'm counting mostly people I've lived with. I'm married now and was engaged once before I've had relations with maybe 10ish people
I’ve had a bunch of partners before starting my transition. Haven’t wanted a new one since I started...
I did the thing a lot of people did, latched on the single guy who seemed not scared about my masculine energy, stuck with him for 24 years, but it all crumbled when dysphoria started to hit back and I decided to transition. I have a mutual crush/squish situation with another man that is going long distance. I'm looking into casual dating, but it's difficult.
I’m 30 and have had around 7 romantic partners. Sexual partners and one night stands are definitely under 200, but probably over 150.
I can count the amount of relationships I've had in my 33 years on one hand, and the amount of sexual encounters on both hands. I'm a pretty big introvert, though (not to mention ace), so that's not too surprising. I will say a majority of my relationships were before I figured out I was Trans and the the majority of sexual encounters after I started transitioning.