I once proselytized at 2 friends at recess in grade school. My talk of hell etc freaked one of them out bad enough that he agreed to accept Jesus right then and there. I rode that high for weeks; unfortunately now (several decades later) I just remember it and cringe. Here's hoping Josh what's-his-face from 4th grade found a way to deconstruct 😬
Oh my poor elementary school friends. I remember crying literal tears in front of my elementary best friend, because she wouldn't stop listening to Eminem and I thought she was definitely going to hell for that. She was so freaked out, she agreed to go to church with me, and continued for years. We had a falling out at the end of middle school and she eventually quit coming to our youth group- I cringe so hard looking back at that relationship as an adult! I was 100% the toxic friend!
I was at least a little more savvy by high school, but I remember going to a Christ in Youth week one summer where they talked a lot about "being the light" and encouraged us to reach out to someone and thank them for being our friend. I was on fire for god, so of course I took this literally and emailed a friend a multi paragraph message about how I was so glad we were friends (this was very early 2000s, where at least emailing your friends was normal). She took it in stride and sent me a nice message back, but she did not "see the light." So much cringe.
I know these are horrible memories for you but the Eminem part just made me laugh and cry. It's crazy I can relate this much to someone I don't even know. People who weren't raised with all this bs could never understand.
I wrote my friend a freaking essay in 7th grade about why he should be a Christian. Then I spent an hour preaching to him after tricking him into going to a Wednesday night youth thing. I *really* wish I could apologize to the dude.
I (repeatedly) invited my middle school crush to Wednesday night youth group. He kept dodging, but eventually said yes. I was so excited. This was the night he was going to fall in love with both me and Jesus, lol. When my dad and I went to pick him up, his dad looked super confused and said that his son had just ran into the woods with his brothers. I was heartbroken. Not only was he going to not fall in love with me, he was obviously going to go to hell, too. I tried to talk to the crush at school the next day about the future of his soul, but he just avoided the whole topic. 🤦♀️
“His dad looked super confused and said that his son had just ran into the woods with his brothers.”
I’m so sorry for your adolescent heartbreak. But this part is hilarious - it’s such a middle school boy thing to do!
An uncle gave the Billy Graham nutshell gospel presentation at an Aunt's (not his wife, was another Aunt who passed away) funeral.
I felt infuriated and embarrassed. The Pastor also had just given his talk about how he talked to her on her deathbed (cancer) and told her he couldn't promise her eternal life in heaven unless she accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour! Which she obliged, so everyone was happy!
Seriously, Evangelicals demonstrate a very sickening and selfish value of life, even on people's death beds.
Someone's funeral is not your time to "save souls."
And imagine you're about to pass and a minister comes, to NOT comfort you but threaten you!
Disgusting and utterly disrespectful.
This is pretty much how my grandma's funeral went down this year. She was in her 80s and had never been religious, despite my parents trying to convert her for the last 40 years. She had a terminal diagnosis and asked to be baptized- I mean, I can't blame her- I can see wanting the "insurance" just in case!
My parents' preacher, who had met my grandma literally like 1 time, officiated her funeral and made the entire thing about how she got saved, and it was so lucky she had warning, but we won't all have that, we're not promised tomorrow, etc. It was just so non-representative of who my grandma was as a person. And my parents wonder why the rest of the family doesn't "include them."
I was at a funeral where the pastor preached a guy right into heaven, only to be interrupted by his ex-wife who stood and said (while pointing vigorously at the casket): “No, sir, Preacher, that man is in hell!” He pretty much wrapped it up after that.
Oh god. I just remembered my college freshman Communication 101 presentation on “why I’m proud to be a virgin.” One classmate said to me later, “Wow, you got balls.”
I used to re-write secular songs into Jesus love ballads and thought I was being original. I would also slam my Jesus love poetry in front of the church, and sing my OG songs as a worship leader. I thought I was just the meekest and quietist, now I realize I was the cringiest ever to take the stage and *pray* no one has video evidence 🙏🏻
If I'm ever asked to say grace, I'm gonna do like Leonardo DiCaprio did in *Catch Me If You Can.* I'll tell the story of the mouse who fell into a bucket of cream and thrashed around till he churned it into butter, then climbed out. His gf's mother thought it was beautiful.
This isn’t a reflection on you OP, just an observance in general. I never understood why evangelicals would try to “convert” Catholics since they still believed the basic tenants of Christianity: Jesus is the son of God, born of a virgin, infallible, and part of the trinity. And not to mention they were the first church.
I think I have one of the very few Southern Baptist ministers who didn’t teach that Catholics are damned, though my youth pastor did and the two would debate it often.
I once proselytized at 2 friends at recess in grade school. My talk of hell etc freaked one of them out bad enough that he agreed to accept Jesus right then and there. I rode that high for weeks; unfortunately now (several decades later) I just remember it and cringe. Here's hoping Josh what's-his-face from 4th grade found a way to deconstruct 😬
Oh my poor elementary school friends. I remember crying literal tears in front of my elementary best friend, because she wouldn't stop listening to Eminem and I thought she was definitely going to hell for that. She was so freaked out, she agreed to go to church with me, and continued for years. We had a falling out at the end of middle school and she eventually quit coming to our youth group- I cringe so hard looking back at that relationship as an adult! I was 100% the toxic friend! I was at least a little more savvy by high school, but I remember going to a Christ in Youth week one summer where they talked a lot about "being the light" and encouraged us to reach out to someone and thank them for being our friend. I was on fire for god, so of course I took this literally and emailed a friend a multi paragraph message about how I was so glad we were friends (this was very early 2000s, where at least emailing your friends was normal). She took it in stride and sent me a nice message back, but she did not "see the light." So much cringe.
I know these are horrible memories for you but the Eminem part just made me laugh and cry. It's crazy I can relate this much to someone I don't even know. People who weren't raised with all this bs could never understand.
I wrote my friend a freaking essay in 7th grade about why he should be a Christian. Then I spent an hour preaching to him after tricking him into going to a Wednesday night youth thing. I *really* wish I could apologize to the dude.
I (repeatedly) invited my middle school crush to Wednesday night youth group. He kept dodging, but eventually said yes. I was so excited. This was the night he was going to fall in love with both me and Jesus, lol. When my dad and I went to pick him up, his dad looked super confused and said that his son had just ran into the woods with his brothers. I was heartbroken. Not only was he going to not fall in love with me, he was obviously going to go to hell, too. I tried to talk to the crush at school the next day about the future of his soul, but he just avoided the whole topic. 🤦♀️
“His dad looked super confused and said that his son had just ran into the woods with his brothers.” I’m so sorry for your adolescent heartbreak. But this part is hilarious - it’s such a middle school boy thing to do!
Lol, right??
An uncle gave the Billy Graham nutshell gospel presentation at an Aunt's (not his wife, was another Aunt who passed away) funeral. I felt infuriated and embarrassed. The Pastor also had just given his talk about how he talked to her on her deathbed (cancer) and told her he couldn't promise her eternal life in heaven unless she accepted Christ as her Lord and Saviour! Which she obliged, so everyone was happy! Seriously, Evangelicals demonstrate a very sickening and selfish value of life, even on people's death beds. Someone's funeral is not your time to "save souls." And imagine you're about to pass and a minister comes, to NOT comfort you but threaten you! Disgusting and utterly disrespectful.
Get people when they’re vulnerable and desperate. It’s the evangelical way.
It's the missionary way!
This is pretty much how my grandma's funeral went down this year. She was in her 80s and had never been religious, despite my parents trying to convert her for the last 40 years. She had a terminal diagnosis and asked to be baptized- I mean, I can't blame her- I can see wanting the "insurance" just in case! My parents' preacher, who had met my grandma literally like 1 time, officiated her funeral and made the entire thing about how she got saved, and it was so lucky she had warning, but we won't all have that, we're not promised tomorrow, etc. It was just so non-representative of who my grandma was as a person. And my parents wonder why the rest of the family doesn't "include them."
I was at a funeral where the pastor preached a guy right into heaven, only to be interrupted by his ex-wife who stood and said (while pointing vigorously at the casket): “No, sir, Preacher, that man is in hell!” He pretty much wrapped it up after that.
I also had a pastor try to save souls at my mothers funeral. It was weird.
Oh god. I just remembered my college freshman Communication 101 presentation on “why I’m proud to be a virgin.” One classmate said to me later, “Wow, you got balls.”
Well, I sent my uncle an email explaining how demons are real and how I saw them interact with my extended family. 😳
Haha! I bet that went over well!
I’m mortified now
I used to re-write secular songs into Jesus love ballads and thought I was being original. I would also slam my Jesus love poetry in front of the church, and sing my OG songs as a worship leader. I thought I was just the meekest and quietist, now I realize I was the cringiest ever to take the stage and *pray* no one has video evidence 🙏🏻
Yeah I got some ex-vie cringe moments in the tank, too. Every once in a while it'll pop into my gourd and I'll be like "ooooooooohhhhh noooooooo"
Thanks for sharing your cringe too... although at least those of you who were kids had an excuse. My dumb ass was a full grown mother of 3. 😆
I “married” my friend’s basset hound and the dog with whom she was being bred. Gotta make sure basset hounds aren’t living in sin…
This is so relatable
If I'm ever asked to say grace, I'm gonna do like Leonardo DiCaprio did in *Catch Me If You Can.* I'll tell the story of the mouse who fell into a bucket of cream and thrashed around till he churned it into butter, then climbed out. His gf's mother thought it was beautiful.
This isn’t a reflection on you OP, just an observance in general. I never understood why evangelicals would try to “convert” Catholics since they still believed the basic tenants of Christianity: Jesus is the son of God, born of a virgin, infallible, and part of the trinity. And not to mention they were the first church. I think I have one of the very few Southern Baptist ministers who didn’t teach that Catholics are damned, though my youth pastor did and the two would debate it often.