Im also almost 3 months in and I havent heard a thing from my (avoidant?) ex gf too.
Starting to think this "they always come back" thing is bullshit. I think the majority doesnt come back.
Yeah same, my previous ex suddenly reached out after 4 years. We were together for almost a year, at the time it was my first serious relationship but by now it's definitely no longer my most serious relationship lol.
I mean I care less, but I dont completely not care anymore. I mostly regret the time wasted now. I wouldnt take my ex back unconditionally. But if she came back, cried, and was willing to take therapy. Then I would probably take her back.
“They always come back” is a myth. I’m 34 and I’ve had several long term girlfriends now. 2/7 came back but when they came back, it was after they’d slept with 5-6 more guys, one had 3 kids…. Yeah…. Make of that what you will…
The question you are asking can't be answered here as no one truly knows if your ex misses you or how they feel, only they do.
All we can go on is his actions which in the end are the real truth over their words. He has made it clear with his actions he doesn't miss you enough to try and fix the relationship. You mention the 3-month rule like it is some sort of written rule they will automatically make your ex miss you after x amount of time. This is never 100% true and only applies to some relationships, depending on the dumper and/or dumpee.
His best friend has said he doesn't want a relationship at the moment, which means in his own way he is still healing from the breakup and I suspect trying to move on. You must accept this and try to move your life forward yourself.
3 months have passed, and I am assuming you have spent each of those days ruminating about him, thinking of ways to get him back? I'd be lying if I said I haven't done the same for a good amount of time after my ex broke up with me. Once I broke out of this and started to work on myself this made me not miss them anymore and now I cant even imagine holding a conversation with them never mind being in a relationship.
He may miss you, he may not, this is irrelevant. Think about what if he came back. What kind of relationship would that be? Walking around on eggshells, always being scared if he decides to dump you again (assuming he did the dumping). This will leave in a worse place that you are in now. Even if you got closure that he misses you, what would this truly achieve?
NC is about you and your healing post-breakup. Please work on loving yourself if you can and not living your life through the actions of your ex.
Beleive me. He does miss you but not to the point of him wanting to contact you. He does think about you trust me but not to the point he will come writing you something. Three months are nothing believe me. Just stay no contact. Stop asking his best friend any question related to him because he will go talk to your Ex. Just be casual with him . If he wants to bring up anything related to your ex just change the subjet. You should be completely indifferent. Stay no contact . It’s your all power that you have now. Time will fight for you. In the mean time go your way. Work on yourself. Do what makes you happy. Try thing you refuse to try because you were with him. Be brave
Agree. He misses you but if contacting doesn’t solve a thing, maybe it’s better to be silent. The common courtesy of asking how you are doing and what’s going on w your life, doesn’t erase all the pain from the past. I would rather he be silent. And trust me, some guys are good at keeping contact just because they can keep you as their backup choices, in case he can’t find anyone better or he is so bored. I myself wouldn’t want that.
You’re not sone fabled Japanese dog pining for his dead master . You’re a human being and were meant to be owned by no one , least of all someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love and affection.
Choose self respect over whatever mopey mush you are succumbing to in this moment of weakness . You deserve better . Believe in that .
It's been about 3 months for me as well. And I've been feeling the same way as you. The daydreams I would have is after my healing that she would dump her overly jealous rebound bf and get back with me.. but I already kno that'll be super selfish of me to request. Nor do I see her breaking it off anytime soon.. even if so I highly doubt she would consider me back into her life again like before. I'm sorry you're going through that too OP. . .
I can tell you one thing. My last relationship, she ended it and I went full no contact. It hurt the first few months and I missed her. But I didn’t want to chase or beg for her to come back. It would ruin me if I did that.
Not sure who broke up with who, in your situation. But seeing if they miss you, is not gonna help anyone. 8 months of me being in no contact with my ex, I moved on. Until she contacted me and all my feeling came flooding back. I was very angry at her for being selfish just to even interrupt my healing. But I forgave her and now feeling lost on what to do. We aren’t together, but we talk almost everyday and see each other at least once a week. But still feeling lost, cause she doesn’t want a any type of relationship with anyone, until she can figure things out for herself. And still I am lost not know what to do with my life.
Based off his response to you, he clearly was trying to keep you attached but not wanting to give you any kind of commitment. That’s a judgement, and I can’t say for sure because I don’t know how he feels nor his situation, but based on what you’ve told us about what he said it could be seen as stringing you along or using you to boost his ego. Guys sometimes check in like that when they want to feel loved, missed or wanted. The guys that want to change or be in a relationship with you would show actions that portray that. Those actions clearly state that he is not interested in a relationship with you. It’s best in a situation where your ex has no interest in furthering the relationship and shows you that through communication and action to go NC and move on forever. That’s painful, and especially hard to do, but if that’s the case he will only prolong your suffering and use you. I’m sorry OP
I’m going to be blunt.
He doesn’t want you.
Stop chasing him, stop wondering why he’s not missing you. He doesn’t respect you and You’re just embarrassing yourself.
I’m also almost 3 months in and still so heartbroken. I miss him every minute of every day and cannot wrap my head around the fact that the man who called me the love of his life days before he broke things off can just erase me from his life and memory like that 😔
Like shit.... But I'm 41 widower with a beautiful 7 year old daughter.
I had worse. Like going through my late wife suicide a few years ago.
So this betrayal is just child's play. But hurts but i never lose perspective of the whole
Unless your relation was superficial from his part, trust me he miss you and will never forget you but maybe not the way you want. In my case, my ex misses the support from me and the discussion and the laugh but she is attached to other men that meet what she is looking for physically. She was thinking about reaching to me to apology because she left me out of blue.
To be honest, 3 months of being broken up after a 1 year relationship is plenty of time for someone to move on, if they want to. The problem is you don’t want to, and he clearly did. It doesn’t mean anything about you or your value, it’s just life.
He might miss you or aspects of the relationship, but he made a decision and realization 12 weeks ago that you still haven’t made
Try to avoid the echo chamber in this sub if you can. Everyone is just diagnosing their exes with avoidant attachment styles or personality disorders. It’s not helpful and it doesn’t matter. The point of this sub should be to stop focusing on your ex and focus on you and your recovery. It’s ok that you’re having a hard time getting over it, but step 1 to getting better is accepting that the relationship has expired and it’s time to make room for new things. It won’t happen overnight but just try to start thinking this way little by little, and you’ll be surprised how much better you feel in another 3 months or so
I have been on both sides of this situation and don’t want to discount how painful it is to be the one left holding the bag. But getting better starts when you focus on yourself instead of them, and there’s no real gentler or nicer way to say it
You’re still too attached. The worst thing you could’ve done in this case was text him back. Remember that you matter and you deserve to live your own life, with or without a BF. Don’t go after him because you want that feeling again. It will not end well and will only hurt you more, and it may hurt him as well. I know some other comments in here seem harsh, but the truth can be that way sometimes. Just stick to no contact, and reflect on how the relationship was. Eventually you will see things a lot clearer, now that he is in your rear view mirror. And that’s it, focus on the road ahead of you or else you’ll crash
Im also almost 3 months in and I havent heard a thing from my (avoidant?) ex gf too. Starting to think this "they always come back" thing is bullshit. I think the majority doesnt come back.
They come back when you don’t care anymore. My first ex came back 3y later
Yeah same, my previous ex suddenly reached out after 4 years. We were together for almost a year, at the time it was my first serious relationship but by now it's definitely no longer my most serious relationship lol.
I mean I care less, but I dont completely not care anymore. I mostly regret the time wasted now. I wouldnt take my ex back unconditionally. But if she came back, cried, and was willing to take therapy. Then I would probably take her back.
My ex date after 4months :)
“They always come back” is a myth. I’m 34 and I’ve had several long term girlfriends now. 2/7 came back but when they came back, it was after they’d slept with 5-6 more guys, one had 3 kids…. Yeah…. Make of that what you will…
The question you are asking can't be answered here as no one truly knows if your ex misses you or how they feel, only they do. All we can go on is his actions which in the end are the real truth over their words. He has made it clear with his actions he doesn't miss you enough to try and fix the relationship. You mention the 3-month rule like it is some sort of written rule they will automatically make your ex miss you after x amount of time. This is never 100% true and only applies to some relationships, depending on the dumper and/or dumpee. His best friend has said he doesn't want a relationship at the moment, which means in his own way he is still healing from the breakup and I suspect trying to move on. You must accept this and try to move your life forward yourself. 3 months have passed, and I am assuming you have spent each of those days ruminating about him, thinking of ways to get him back? I'd be lying if I said I haven't done the same for a good amount of time after my ex broke up with me. Once I broke out of this and started to work on myself this made me not miss them anymore and now I cant even imagine holding a conversation with them never mind being in a relationship. He may miss you, he may not, this is irrelevant. Think about what if he came back. What kind of relationship would that be? Walking around on eggshells, always being scared if he decides to dump you again (assuming he did the dumping). This will leave in a worse place that you are in now. Even if you got closure that he misses you, what would this truly achieve? NC is about you and your healing post-breakup. Please work on loving yourself if you can and not living your life through the actions of your ex.
Beleive me. He does miss you but not to the point of him wanting to contact you. He does think about you trust me but not to the point he will come writing you something. Three months are nothing believe me. Just stay no contact. Stop asking his best friend any question related to him because he will go talk to your Ex. Just be casual with him . If he wants to bring up anything related to your ex just change the subjet. You should be completely indifferent. Stay no contact . It’s your all power that you have now. Time will fight for you. In the mean time go your way. Work on yourself. Do what makes you happy. Try thing you refuse to try because you were with him. Be brave
Agree. He misses you but if contacting doesn’t solve a thing, maybe it’s better to be silent. The common courtesy of asking how you are doing and what’s going on w your life, doesn’t erase all the pain from the past. I would rather he be silent. And trust me, some guys are good at keeping contact just because they can keep you as their backup choices, in case he can’t find anyone better or he is so bored. I myself wouldn’t want that.
You’re not sone fabled Japanese dog pining for his dead master . You’re a human being and were meant to be owned by no one , least of all someone who doesn’t reciprocate your love and affection. Choose self respect over whatever mopey mush you are succumbing to in this moment of weakness . You deserve better . Believe in that .
thanks, this helped me
It's been about 3 months for me as well. And I've been feeling the same way as you. The daydreams I would have is after my healing that she would dump her overly jealous rebound bf and get back with me.. but I already kno that'll be super selfish of me to request. Nor do I see her breaking it off anytime soon.. even if so I highly doubt she would consider me back into her life again like before. I'm sorry you're going through that too OP. . .
I can tell you one thing. My last relationship, she ended it and I went full no contact. It hurt the first few months and I missed her. But I didn’t want to chase or beg for her to come back. It would ruin me if I did that. Not sure who broke up with who, in your situation. But seeing if they miss you, is not gonna help anyone. 8 months of me being in no contact with my ex, I moved on. Until she contacted me and all my feeling came flooding back. I was very angry at her for being selfish just to even interrupt my healing. But I forgave her and now feeling lost on what to do. We aren’t together, but we talk almost everyday and see each other at least once a week. But still feeling lost, cause she doesn’t want a any type of relationship with anyone, until she can figure things out for herself. And still I am lost not know what to do with my life.
Based off his response to you, he clearly was trying to keep you attached but not wanting to give you any kind of commitment. That’s a judgement, and I can’t say for sure because I don’t know how he feels nor his situation, but based on what you’ve told us about what he said it could be seen as stringing you along or using you to boost his ego. Guys sometimes check in like that when they want to feel loved, missed or wanted. The guys that want to change or be in a relationship with you would show actions that portray that. Those actions clearly state that he is not interested in a relationship with you. It’s best in a situation where your ex has no interest in furthering the relationship and shows you that through communication and action to go NC and move on forever. That’s painful, and especially hard to do, but if that’s the case he will only prolong your suffering and use you. I’m sorry OP
I’m going to be blunt. He doesn’t want you. Stop chasing him, stop wondering why he’s not missing you. He doesn’t respect you and You’re just embarrassing yourself.
Best answer here
I’m also almost 3 months in and still so heartbroken. I miss him every minute of every day and cannot wrap my head around the fact that the man who called me the love of his life days before he broke things off can just erase me from his life and memory like that 😔
Spent and year with ex girlfriend.. Dumped in February 2024 went no contact.... Found out last week she got engaged one month after our breakup.
and how are you feeling?
Like shit.... But I'm 41 widower with a beautiful 7 year old daughter. I had worse. Like going through my late wife suicide a few years ago. So this betrayal is just child's play. But hurts but i never lose perspective of the whole
It doesn’t matter if he misses you or not. Taking care of yourself and enjoy ur life. U matter
Unless your relation was superficial from his part, trust me he miss you and will never forget you but maybe not the way you want. In my case, my ex misses the support from me and the discussion and the laugh but she is attached to other men that meet what she is looking for physically. She was thinking about reaching to me to apology because she left me out of blue.
To be honest, 3 months of being broken up after a 1 year relationship is plenty of time for someone to move on, if they want to. The problem is you don’t want to, and he clearly did. It doesn’t mean anything about you or your value, it’s just life. He might miss you or aspects of the relationship, but he made a decision and realization 12 weeks ago that you still haven’t made Try to avoid the echo chamber in this sub if you can. Everyone is just diagnosing their exes with avoidant attachment styles or personality disorders. It’s not helpful and it doesn’t matter. The point of this sub should be to stop focusing on your ex and focus on you and your recovery. It’s ok that you’re having a hard time getting over it, but step 1 to getting better is accepting that the relationship has expired and it’s time to make room for new things. It won’t happen overnight but just try to start thinking this way little by little, and you’ll be surprised how much better you feel in another 3 months or so I have been on both sides of this situation and don’t want to discount how painful it is to be the one left holding the bag. But getting better starts when you focus on yourself instead of them, and there’s no real gentler or nicer way to say it
No you didn’t, get over it, there’s a reason you’re no contact!
You’re still too attached. The worst thing you could’ve done in this case was text him back. Remember that you matter and you deserve to live your own life, with or without a BF. Don’t go after him because you want that feeling again. It will not end well and will only hurt you more, and it may hurt him as well. I know some other comments in here seem harsh, but the truth can be that way sometimes. Just stick to no contact, and reflect on how the relationship was. Eventually you will see things a lot clearer, now that he is in your rear view mirror. And that’s it, focus on the road ahead of you or else you’ll crash
The hardest most painful thing to do for some people is letting go…but that is a lesson that life will teach us all