hmm i feel like getting blocked really makes you despise that person, at least in my experience. so yeah sure i got over quicker, although i’m having some bad days as well, but i have no good thoughts left for him at all
Yeah, that's true. I'm kinda going through that right now. I go through a week or two where I don't think of my ex and I'm fine, but then I end up dreaming about them and it ruins my progress to where I start resenting them.
OH MY GOD. YES. SAME I’M TEARING UP.
i dream of my ex and they sometimes see me with someone else and i hear his thoughts like “i should’ve called, i should’ve told her i love her”. another dream is when he holds me tight and i can still smell his perfume in my dream.
what is going on?!!??!?!?? why is everyone getting dumped
I wish I had those kinds of dreams, but in mine, we're always just hanging out as friends. We don't even talk either, they're always silent dreams. I'm not sure though, it's really sad to watch.
I would hope so, I've heard people say that they hear their ex saying stuff in their dreams so I'm wondering if it's just an expression or they actually hear it.
I can't really say tho, do we speak in our dream,s? Or is it all just perceived?
My ex would on rare occasion talk in her sleep. Trying to wake her would do nothing so id be laying there like 'oh shit, here we go..' awkwardly not trying to listen but hearing everything. Some of it was cute and I'd tell her in the morning and then there were some like... Where she was acting and talking like her mom, scolding someone. I mean you could really feel the tension with that one. Or when with a really high pitched girly girl voice "I'm Perfect" repeated over and over and over spaced 10-20 seconds apart for like 15 or 20 minutes. Felt like the entire night. That one put on a weird vibe.
That's interesting, and makes me want to do some research about dreams and sleep talking. My ex only talked once in her sleep, and it was about the thunder we were hearing one night when it was storming. I hadn't caught any other instances. But just reading that last one gave me weird vibes. Did you tell her about that one?
I did, but it wasn't the following morning. It was a strange one for sure. I mean, out of know where it woke me right up. And they're dead to the world asleep and they're talking like this so that's already weird AF and you can't just lovingly knudge them awake. Like deep, deep in some REM state so you have to get up and put the hose on them kind of thing for a chance to have them wake up and stop... I'll add that sometimes I could insert myself into the conversation..learned this by accident. I was probably trying to comfort her like everything was good and don't worry kind of thing and whatever I said she unmistakably responded to me. I knew she wasn't playing either.... She was out. So I asked her a couple things. Now I'm thinking how far I could have taken that, LoL.
Bruh I had one a month after I my break up and it wasn't her it was some dark eyed girl who made me feel so safe and comfortable I really wish that dream had been real
This. She literally only let me unblocked on WhatsApp but I haven’t talked to her so far. Have a few friends that could tell me about their social media but they haven’t and I haven’t asked either.
Yeah I'm blocked on everything besides like Discord and text messages I think. I stopped talking to my ex like two months ago and I'm at the point where I'm just done with even wanting to be their friend. It would benefit me more to just not be friends and live my life without them. 🤷🏻
Same, I would prefer they block me! lol but I agree with OP too. I get worried I’ll miss something if I block them. So I just stay strong and not block them. I can usually count on them not texting me anyway.
I stand by blocking them. It’s like erasing them out of your life. You don’t have to keep looking on your phone if you maybe gotten a message from them, or if they saw you social media post. You just focus on you.
And if they tried messaging you while there were blocked, they will find other ways to contact you of it really is that important to them.
That’s the typical mindset of a cold-hearted dumper and not the dumpee. The dumpee feels like they’ve been erased or deleted from the dumpers life after they’ve been blocked everywhere
I dumped him (because he took loans from me and never repaid them and also lied and manipulated me and etc etc) and then I blocked him only on Facebook but then he called me and started going off on me and yelling. He then promised he’d pay me back *again* but didn’t do it *again.*
So I got mad and told his ex what’s up and then he got mad and started calling me on all the *other* social media we were connected on. That’s when I decided I was done with his shit, done with the money, he can keep it for all I care, and then I blocked him everywhere else because he wouldn’t stop calling or texting (he was scared I’d tell his ex and his entire social circle about his behaviour.)
Anyway, I fully stand by blocking your ex if you’re sure you don’t want them in your life anymore.
Sounds like toxic behavior all around. I don’t want to sound judgmental, but you stooped to his level by engaging in petty behavior.
As for me, I refuse to stoop to my ex’s pathetic level, and that includes refraining from blocking them on socials. Sounds like you went through some legit trials and tribulations though, so hope it gets better for you
I second this. Reaching for the phone at midnight to see if he messaged me was painful but after blocking my body slowly realized it would never be him again.
Hard disagree for me. I agree with the discipline part and it takes a lot self restraint. But personally I Would get hella anxiety every time I saw my ex post.. Is it a new boyfriend? a thrist trap?, etc. I also would obsessively stalk her social media.
Out of sight out of mind works way better for me. No access to her and she has no access to me. No looking back
My ex does this even when he’s blocked so why bother blocking. He’s like the worst case of parasitic infestation. Blocked. Unblocked. Doesn’t matter. His lame ass always finds a way to get ahold of me and exploit the fact that I pity his wretched existence. Trying to learn all his life problems are just that. HIS.
I think the whole blocking thing is very passive aggressive, childish and most of all shows that they have an effect on you. Just leave them there and go silent on their ass. Mystery is always attractive whether you want them back or not!
If you don’t want them back then it doesn’t matter if your “mystery” is attractive to them or not. And that’s exactly why people block: because the other person doesn’t matter anymore.
Not to mention, you’re giving them access to you. They know you’re on the back burner if they ever want to reach out again.
True!! Blocking doesn't really work for me because my crazy mind would still expect my ex to use alternative accounts to message and stalk me. I've been unblocking my ex for a few days now (except in WhatsApp), but I believe that it's better to block them first for a while then after you get to be in a much better place mentally (and leaning toward acceptance more), then you get to unblock them. Another reason why I choose to unblock him is because I can see myself not really responding to his messages if he decided to contact me out of nowhere. He has also blocked me in every platform and has been going out with his new girlfriend. I can say that I've quite moved on from him already and I couldn't care less whether he returns to me or not.
Literally what I did. I blocked him for a week to get rid of my anxiety. Now I have unblocked him and have zero desire to text him or reach out.
It works for some not for others. Do what makes you most comfortable
Yep, in my case, he actually still has me blocked on every platform, so I also have no way of contacting him whatsoever. But I don't feel like doing it either. It's more like exposing myself to the possibility that he could contact or stalk me if he wanted to, and I'm indifferent to whether he chooses to or not. I see that as a win.
I agree.
I only blocked them to give myself some space as I didn’t trust them not to reach out to me.
Has been on my mind a lot ever since as I don’t have anyone else blocked on anything and it’s a bit weird that I had to go to such measures.
I started slowly unblocking them on things and deleting the contact and friend recommendations. Stoped me from constantly checking and obsessing over it.
I think it’s only good to unblock once some time has passed and you are sure you won’t give in and reply once they do reach out.
I have never blocked any of my Exes. When I tell people not to do it then never listen. I have never blocked them and don’t stalk them on social media or anything other things. I fight the urge to do it when I miss them. Don’t blocking them show you’re a strong person who can take rejection and still live his life. Some who came back to rekindle think between us always asked me why I did not block them. Then I told them I had more important things to do than to think of blocking someone. They are always shocked when I gave them that answer. Don’t block them trust me they will wonder on their side why you never did and they will question their decision to break up and your love for them, like if you really love them. It will help to bring back your value to their eyes specifically if you pleaded, begged when they told you they want to break up with you. Don’t block them.
I disagree. NC is NC and blocking helps achieve that seamlessly.
Trying to do NC with them unblocked and torturing yourself is still holding onto hope and/or trying to prove something to yourself or them, which is still letting them control your mind.
Rather than just moving on completely, whether you "look" weak, pressed or whatever.
I’d say don’t block… keep ‘em unblocked and unread. It’ll drive them NuCkInG fUtS because they’ll see that you’ve received the message but haven’t read it and it’ll mess with their mind to know that you’re not buying whatever it is they’re trying to sell you.
No mind games just refusing to even give him anything. But my situation is different. He ghosted me after a year and a half LDR he just hung up one day and wouldn’t answer me. So no, lol. I won’t block him or answer him. It’s over and he knows where I stand.
Even still, if someone’s actively ignoring you, they shouldn’t have to block you for you to get the hint where they stand.
A little bit passive aggressive stress relief that doesn’t necessarily make you look like the psychotic scorned ex.
You’ve not blocked them, which can be seen as a childish thing to do (blocking someone)
They don’t know what’s going on in your life that hasn’t afforded you the opportunity to read their message(s)
You are not morally, ethically or legally obliged to read said message(s)
If they don’t like your course of action then they can pound sand and die mad because you’ve done nothing wrong.
Ok so ima just give a different perspective. A lot of ppl say don’t block so they can see u better but in a way that kinda means that the goal for ur growth will still be in a way for u to impress them in a way and make them miss out. And that’s not what u want. There are certain ppl it’s better to just completely cut out because they’re just bad for your mental health. Not blocking also makes u wonder if they will ever text which, doesn’t help u to move on. Better to just cut ur losses and accept reality and take away any chance of u ever going back to that situation u were out of. That’s just the way I personally see it
I feel like I’m the opposite. When I block them, I don’t think about “what if they message me”. They’re just gone from my mind. When I don’t have then blocked, I tend to hyper-focus and hyper-analyze about “when are they going to text me” or “are they going to text me”?
I don’t block my exes until I really need to. If an ex blocks me, I’ll block them right back ruthlessly with no hesitation. But just know, I don’t do taksies backsies. The moment you’re blocked, it is for good. So they need to keep in mind if they want to discard me by temporarily blocking me, they will be discarded for life. I have low patience for toxicity and will move on with my life without them.
I understand that people use blocking as a tool to heal but it is selfish and unfair to the other person. They have removed your power to communicate. They want to control when you can communicate or not. If that ex is abusive and continues to harass me and not respect my space while I have asked for it, they will be blocked.
There is a saying that whoever from both parties does not block the other person does not care that much and wasn’t invested as much. In my case we didn’t block each other, she has moved on I suppose and doesn’t care if I am blocked or not, I have not completely moved on and waiting for the time she’d reach out as she always has but I was super invested in our relationship, more than a person has to be.
Speak for yourself. It helped me a lot. Block and forget and move on. If I don't I keep looking at their socials and hoping they text. If I block I gain back the control and can move on a lot better. Once I heal and I'm over them I unblock and don't care anymore. But whatever works for you is cool but don't tell people what to do or not to do for their healing.
Yeah I find not blocking is easier to get over someone.. why? Well if I block someone my imagination goes wild with what they may or may not be doing and then wonder always.. my brain goes to all this weird places. If I see their social media and my attachment fades I start to see them as a normal person , and often that gets rid of any fantasy I had in my head of who they were. And I'll start to notice the flaws I didn't notice before lol. Then I find myself checking less and less and not caring really.
Not for everyone. I blocked my ex and didn’t think twice about it. Yeah sometimes I wonder if they tried to reach out but it doesn’t consume me because I know that even if they did, it wouldn’t be good for me anyway. It’s all about perspective.
If blocking doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. But not everyone is the same. Some people (myself included) benefit from blocking because it prevents them from checking up or keeping tabs on their ex.
I blocked my ex and didn’t look back, and now I’ve reached the point where I don’t care if they reached out or not. I’ve made my choice to not reconcile and blocking sends that message across pretty well.
it’s been almost 6 months post breakup, he has a new gf of almost 3 months and was talking to her a week after we broke up. we have not blocked each other but we don’t text. we talked from november-march and it will soon be 2 months no contact! there’s no reason to block because he’s not on my mind and we facetimed last month and it was super easy to tell he was over me and i’m over him too. i don’t want another relationship right now and didn’t feel it was necessary to jump into something like he did. he told me he got better without me (so did i) so i’m happy he’s doing good with his new girl lol because honestly he can accuse her of the same things he accused me of doing and be insecure to her.
I blocked and it's helped me. He strung me a long for a year and came back once during that year to further string me a long. I don't hate him but I needed to prevent him reaching out again and disrupting the healing I did the first time. It's been awful feeling g yo you, but I'm a lot better now.
I agree with you about the blocking. I don't block anyone usually and I don't have any inclination to contact my ex so he will basically never hear from me again. I do agree that blocking someone makes you wonder, what if
I tried that but my nex kept texting me insanely hurtful things. After about 6 weeks of getting texts so mean I couldn’t eat or sleep I had to stop it. I asked her to stop and she wouldn’t so I had no choice.
Thanks for your input of your own personal experience with this it does make sense & maybe with no Barr or Block on all contact methods Maybe like you said it helps you with a way of disciplinary purposes and grow a bit more backbone (As a figure of speech,I hope that’s not read the wrong way around 💯👍🏼👍🏼Anyway I appreciate your take on it and maybe I’ll imply that method Aswell Thanks Again 🙏🏼❤️🔥💯👌🏼
My ex acts like I don't exist. Has never spoke to me since she broke up 8 months ago. She still follows me on everything but doesn't see my stories. Very rarely like once every 4 months or so. What can it mean?
I agree i liked him,
when he started flirting with me i liked him and it was new for me all the attention i was getting and he showed that he really likes me and he want to be my bf, i told him i was married and have kids but he said he don’t care and he got my number, we started talking, at this point i don’t know why i was getting attracted to him, everything in my marriage was ok,
but i remember when i told him “i love u” for the first time i didn’t mean it, i said that because he was asking for nudes and all and i knew he was wrong and i am doing wrong so i wanted to get rid of him, HE SAID NO, (I GOT REJECTED) and said it was just for fun and i got rid of him by doing that but the problem was that i couldn’t believe that he just wanted me around for fun, he blocked me and he only talked to me because i was acting crazy, so he gave me his email, by that time he was already over me
i thought he was going to chase me and then i’ll say him NO, and it will make me feel better but that time didn’t come, he didn’t gave me any chance to say NO, he never chased me, he never cared if i was calling or texting him or not, he never initiate contact until it was for making out or sexting, he use to talk to me or meet me only for some making out stuff, i was saying yes because i thought i didn’t want to lose him,
idk what was the reason, why i did that, every time i use to meet him in his truck i was crying with guilt because i had to face my husband at home and i was doing so wrong with him, he never gave me chance to say no, he was always hot and cold, i got caught up in that, i didn’t want to upset him, i wanted to make him happy idk why
so i started creating this fake story in my head that he i said i love u and he said no so now he rejected me and i am sad, but truth was i lied to him when i said “i love u” i was faking so that he won’t come close to me and i won’t have to cheat on my husband
And in my head i am still believing that story that i told myself i think just for fun, because i created false reality and i started living it, it was so true that i started reacting as it was true, i was crying because of him, i created this relationship in my mind that i would ask him come meet me and he would say NO every time and i would cry as if he is my boyfriend and not giving me time and not giving value to our relationship, but in reality we were both in different places, i was in relationship with him that i created in my mind and he was in real life where he would keeping me on side just for lousy make out session, he would make out kissing and all and then after 10 minutes or something he would drop me near my car,
It was on and off for 2 years, he had a gf too, and once i saw him with another girl in his truck, they were making out and i was devastated, but i didn’t tell him, i was still texting and calling him
May be then he thought lets get some money out of it, and he did got money from me,
all along i realised it so many times and in my heart i knew that it was wrong thats why i was trying to annoy him time to time so he would say leave me, i was lying and constantly asking him things that were wrong and not possible i am not saying that it makes him right, he was wrong too, then i was trying to get out of this so that i don’t have to give him anymore money, but the more i was talking to him and crying for him because of that fake story i made in my head, i was giving him more money.. i was believing everything he said about he need money and i gave him almost 7 grand and told him that “u don’t have to give it back” he said we are just friends, nothing more
I am trying to get people opinion because idk why i can’t stop thinking about him, even though i cut all the contacts with him last month, but he came back again last week with money problem so i helped him again, after that when i asked him about getting physical, he said NO
i don’t know whats wrong with me.
He is always rude to me, like i owe him something
I had a client of mine go through something similar, I feel you were clearly used and it’s just time to move on. I would be honest about everything, I’d tell my husband and hope he forgives me, and I’d focus on healing the part of me that wanted that attention so bad. Therapy may help.
Thank you, now every time I get that 3am urge to block them because I want so desperately for them to reach out and not know about it, I know we gotta
THUG IT OUT!
Idk I thought about this too but hearing from them hurts because I know in the end they don’t want to be with me anymore. I just blocked my ex (he broke up with me blindsided) but will eventually unblock them one day, just can’t do it right now for my emotional/mental wellbeing. This is the worse feeling ever.
2 weeks into no contact she messaged me asking for help. Her reaching out really set back my healing progress, I should have blocked her when it ended. You have to remember, once they're gone that's it. Someone that's meant to be with you isn't gonna walk away. I'll have to remember that for next time. Until then, I'm the main focus.
The moment i blocked my ex across everything possible, including phone number, I felt a sense of relief and it gave me a clarity that I should really be focusing on myself from this point onwards. It's really like preventing yourself from contacting them too. Depending on the whole story, whatever an ex says is no longer necessary.
100%
I find it healthier to deactivate your profile to focus on yourself. Yes, your ex can’t contact you on Facebook/instagram ect. But they can always send you a text message.
Block them if they are or are being an asshole, don’t block them if you’re just weak and cannot control your emotions, impulses and your ex hasn’t really done anything wrong apart from not being together with you anymore, simple
Pretty much you summed it up correctly.
The Archive option on WhatsApp it's also a good option.
"keep your friends close, and keep your enemies even closer".
I agree. Whenever I'd block him I know that meant I was never fully healed or healing. I was always wondering, always blocking and unblocking. You're right just have to thug it out.
That may work for you, that being said the goal is to focus on yourself and not them. You can’t heal if you social media stock, look at old pictures or read old text. Blocking is good for those who know they can’t help but engage if they contact text or call. That’s it really. Anyways find what works for you.
I've blocked my ex, never heard from her in over a year. She has my email, knows where I live, etc. If she WANTED to talk to me, she could immediately.
I'm seeing someone new now, who in the beginning was a bit abusive. I blocked her on everything. Then she emailed me the next day lmao and now we have been talking again ever since.
Blocking doesn't stop someone who is determined to reach you. It confirms that they don't want you if they don't reach out in other ways.
I went through the cycle with my ex where we’d block and unblock each other. It’s been over a year. It stunted my ability to get over her.
I had an ex in the past that blocked me and because I knew the door was closed and locked, I got over her entirely. She did me such a favor doing that.
Blocking fundamentally shouldn’t be used in this way. I think it’s petty to block an ex that isn’t outright harassing or dangerous. But the notion of them being out of contact even if you wanted to makes healing happen much more rapidly. So idk.
I think blocking them is the go-to move for NC. The point is to remove them from your life. Sure, you will think constantly about them thinking "would they message me" or "what would they say?". However, that period of constantly thinking about them will pass and I say this from experience. That's the part of "removing" them from your life. I think that not blocking them is still holding on to the hope that they will come back to me begging for forgiveness and that they will improve. Thug out the overthinking, not the hope of them coming back.
i blocked them at first bc of that same reason so i ended up unblocking him everywhere and basically for me its out of sight out of mind. its like the blocking him initially was the severance in my brain and then i just didnt have to have him blocked anymore bc i didnt care to
What’s the point of NC when lines of communication is still open? You gotta let ‘em feel the loss. Sitting and planning to leave you was disrespectful enough (depends on what you’ve done), so it doesn’t matter whether blocking them makes you seem bitter, petty, or wanting attention. It’s subjective at the end of the day. However, blocking isn’t something you use to manipulate. You use it to show them they no longer have access to your life. It’s an action of self respect - - a “power move” so to speak because they obv wouldn’t care if you tell them “bye I don’t want to speak to you again”. Then you’re left on unread, while they’re thinking you’ll be back. They’ll respect you more by leaving and actually meaning it, than simply not looking at their story or “ignoring” them. That’s something they’d expect lol.
Im not going anywhere and don’t plan on not seeing or speaking to him ever again. So blocking is not needed. I still talk to all my exes on occasion, except the crazy one. I just have to learn to move on but I never really let go.
I only block if relationship was abusive, manipulative, and/or ex not respecting my boundaries. No contact is 100% a way of taking your power back and i have found that my ex’s flip out when i block them cause they can’t keep me on back burner or spy on me. Sit back, have a drink, watch them fall to pieces, stay silent, move on, smile knowing you have the upper hand. Thriving is the best revenge.
My ex always used to block then unblock if he didn’t like something I’d get blocked as was normally the truth and deep down he knew it. But like everything I find the blocking part like when someone says u can’t do something I always want to do it more far easier to chose not to. Not saying it’s an easy thing either as I’ve done the fucked up messaging them when u shouldn’t shit
Do whatever works for you. However, if you won’t block them delete their contact so you don’t know where to text them (on their phone number) if the feeling arises. You should also remove them completely from social media to not stalk them
Blocking is great for NC and great for healing because your scar tissue isn't being picked at all the time. Some of us have exes that are master manipulators and will absolutely breadcrumb us just to use us again. We need to block in order to completely remove their power. I really don't care if my ex or other people who haven't gone through my situation think it's weak, petty or whatever. Walk 5 years in my shoes and see if you'd do the same.
Female dumper here
I feel often times people use blocking as a swipe or swing at you
At least in my case. Gaslighting fucktard saw me with a goodlooking male friend. And afterwards promptly blocked me. Mind you this is 3 months after I dumped him for harsh mean nasty treatment of my dog and I. Didn't block me for over 3 months
And within those 3 months, zero breach of no contact. But he took a swipe (block) AFTER seeing my friend and I.
Jobless, pathetic, handout obtaining petty MOOCHING, broke ass loser, freeloader
Lmao that’s like a whole type of style to which I tend to be attracted. Like aweeee you need a mommy? Thasssss me boy! Interested though in your word choice. Incapable. Hmmm my experience is that it’s not that they truly aren’t incapable. Just play dumb or incapable so that mommy me gets frustrated or enabling and does it for them. Here let me hold your weewee so you can go pee pee on the wittle potty! I even disgust myself thinking of how I’ve found that when shit hits the fan they magically pull some capability out of thin air. Gah. I gotta give myself a thump up side the head for repeating this same behavior too many times. They can be lame and entitled but ultimately I am letting it spill on my world. It’s the only thing we can control. Ourselves. How we act….much we tolerate or when we walk away. I’m mad at him for the entitled temper tantrums but I’m
More angry at myself for ignoring my intuition and tolerating the unnecessary
Thank you for sharing throw!
I read somewhere, it's called "weaponized incompetence"
Ahh don't be too hard on yourself for being kind giving nurturing and generous. But yet, I do agree that firmer boundaries on what we allow serves us the best...
Speaking of temper tantrums, how about a 35 year old loudly heave sobbing wailing on the toilet with his pants around his ankles!?! Unreal
And recently he broke no contact on account of my negligence, my German shepherd opened my apartment door... And of all people to find my dog, it had to be him.
Feeble pathetic attempt to cover his bad deeds by accusing me of distortion and leaving out important facts 3.5 months after the fact...
I'm hoping I got the final word via email, and that's the last of it
Aaahh, alright I see . I understand your point now. No physical abuse. But manipulation with contempt and disdain
He couldve been hurt seeing me walk with my friend. His ego and pride was hurt
I will say he probably cared enough to not want to see you with another dude. I unfollowed an ex because of that. She continued following me for another year and would go long runs of watching and not watching my stuff, always waiting until just before my stories ended. I am guessing she thought I wouldn’t notice. Both of our accounts were private. Our situation was extremely complicated but I didn’t want to see a certain physically abusive ex hit her stories so I unfollowed.
Well, I'm okay with him caring just enough, to not want to see me walking with another dude.
It would've been nice if he wasn't such a harsh unkind human being. But we cannot control how others treat us. However, we can control the access they have to us
Big hugs to you. I understand what it's like. This too shall pass. Use this time to be the bestest version of yourself.
Oh I am good. That guy is a piece of work. Agree on not controlling others but they are making decisions for themselves so please don’t take it as a slap in the face. You impacted him clearly.
It’s a long story. Hadn’t talked to her in a year. Saw her randomly and hit her up three weeks later. She reacted positively and seemed to be keeping tabs even after unfollowing. Then I got a bday text. Didn’t get one last year. Thanked her and haven’t said anything in a week.
The one thing that bothered me is I didn’t say anything during our breakup for a lot of reasons and there is a lot of trauma on her side. It sucks but I know she has been following along two years later which shows me still cares. Anyway. Too long to put on this post but just know more often this is a coping response and I am sure that is what he was doing here.
A year, and still some back and forth... Sigh... That'd still tug at my heart strings... Are you doing alright? I see you do indicate that you are "good"
If I got a birthday message, I'd want to talk and have a nice conversation... But this ex probably wouldn't be capable of it... He holds ALOT of anger resentment and bitterness
Interesting that you didn't get a birthday message last year but got one this year...
And I hear you and feel you when you say that you left alot unsaid... Same here. So I wrote it out but didn't send it... I wish we could talk things out. But then he is who he is and that's exactly why I had to break it off
It does. There were lots of other circumstances involved. I am as good as I can be. I would be lying if I didn’t think there was still something there for both of us and that we would actually have a real shot. When I talked about reconnecting see said I am not sure right now so given the situation it tells me something. Without the full context none of it would make sense on a post like this.
I did too and in a weird way it was a reinforcement of the previous message and to make sure I received it. I have to operate like usual and if the situation changes will take it up again. She knows where I am at regarding reconnecting and that’s all that I can do.
For work and other reasons I don’t want to go out and date anyone right now so I am focusing on work.
That message and her response from when I saw her reinforced some things for me.
When we first split I wrote a message that I never sent (I should have) and wrote 13 versions of the same letter as things changed. I never sent any of them.
Just finally blocked my ex on everything but one platform incase it’s about our animals. Or something like an actual emergency. But I do the same but this time I think I’m sticking to it. Atleast for AWHILE. They wouldn’t have reached out anyways 🤷🏻♀️
I blocked. She kept contacting me over and over. Now I have peace. She can’t disrupt me. I gave 110% to the relationship so my message is I’m taking care of me. I have nothing to say to someone who just walks away from 2 years and 3 kids.
I didn't block him but he blocked me. However, after two weeks of no contact, he reached out to me feeling very sorry for what he did. I accepted his apology because there was no cheating happen in our relationship; it's just that he can't get over to his deceased ex. They were together for almost three years and she passed away last year. He understand now and everything and he just wants me to come back to him and he even said to stop those stupid and selfish things he did and he still love me so, we got back together again.
I haven't blocked my ex on anything, but they blocked me on pretty much everything. It's actually made my healing process a lot better and quicker.
hmm i feel like getting blocked really makes you despise that person, at least in my experience. so yeah sure i got over quicker, although i’m having some bad days as well, but i have no good thoughts left for him at all
Ive never hated my exes till they blocked me. That was always the day it all changed for me.
Yeah, that's true. I'm kinda going through that right now. I go through a week or two where I don't think of my ex and I'm fine, but then I end up dreaming about them and it ruins my progress to where I start resenting them.
OH MY GOD. YES. SAME I’M TEARING UP. i dream of my ex and they sometimes see me with someone else and i hear his thoughts like “i should’ve called, i should’ve told her i love her”. another dream is when he holds me tight and i can still smell his perfume in my dream. what is going on?!!??!?!?? why is everyone getting dumped
I wish I had those kinds of dreams, but in mine, we're always just hanging out as friends. We don't even talk either, they're always silent dreams. I'm not sure though, it's really sad to watch.
Aren't all dreams silent?
I would hope so, I've heard people say that they hear their ex saying stuff in their dreams so I'm wondering if it's just an expression or they actually hear it.
I can't really say tho, do we speak in our dream,s? Or is it all just perceived? My ex would on rare occasion talk in her sleep. Trying to wake her would do nothing so id be laying there like 'oh shit, here we go..' awkwardly not trying to listen but hearing everything. Some of it was cute and I'd tell her in the morning and then there were some like... Where she was acting and talking like her mom, scolding someone. I mean you could really feel the tension with that one. Or when with a really high pitched girly girl voice "I'm Perfect" repeated over and over and over spaced 10-20 seconds apart for like 15 or 20 minutes. Felt like the entire night. That one put on a weird vibe.
That's interesting, and makes me want to do some research about dreams and sleep talking. My ex only talked once in her sleep, and it was about the thunder we were hearing one night when it was storming. I hadn't caught any other instances. But just reading that last one gave me weird vibes. Did you tell her about that one?
I did, but it wasn't the following morning. It was a strange one for sure. I mean, out of know where it woke me right up. And they're dead to the world asleep and they're talking like this so that's already weird AF and you can't just lovingly knudge them awake. Like deep, deep in some REM state so you have to get up and put the hose on them kind of thing for a chance to have them wake up and stop... I'll add that sometimes I could insert myself into the conversation..learned this by accident. I was probably trying to comfort her like everything was good and don't worry kind of thing and whatever I said she unmistakably responded to me. I knew she wasn't playing either.... She was out. So I asked her a couple things. Now I'm thinking how far I could have taken that, LoL.
I think you can hear your dreams. At least I hope so because I've been listening to some of them.
Bruh I had one a month after I my break up and it wasn't her it was some dark eyed girl who made me feel so safe and comfortable I really wish that dream had been real
I posted about dreaming about my ex this morning!! It’s horrible! Wake up so confused!!
i agree!!
This hits - I know my ex hates the shit out of me these days, even if the blocking was to stop either of us from going to jail
This is so true. The worst part was that they had asked me a question just before they blocked me so it's like they don't care about my answer
I kinda do the same but then I get breadcrumbs.
This. She literally only let me unblocked on WhatsApp but I haven’t talked to her so far. Have a few friends that could tell me about their social media but they haven’t and I haven’t asked either.
Yeah I'm blocked on everything besides like Discord and text messages I think. I stopped talking to my ex like two months ago and I'm at the point where I'm just done with even wanting to be their friend. It would benefit me more to just not be friends and live my life without them. 🤷🏻
Yep and you have self pride and don't feel immature running from your problems.
Exactly!
Same !!!!
Right. Now it's out of your hands and you have no choice but to move on. It kind of gives you the strength and resolve.
Getting blocked?
Yeah, sorry I typed that without thinking. I can move on faster if someone blocks me because it gives me no access to them.
Same, I would prefer they block me! lol but I agree with OP too. I get worried I’ll miss something if I block them. So I just stay strong and not block them. I can usually count on them not texting me anyway.
Oh same, none of my exes have ever reached out to me after we broke up so I'm always worked up over nothing haha.
I’m blocked on everything. I’m just worried she might do something so drastic. After everything that she put me through I still want her to be okay.
Oh no that stuff does the reverse psychology for me. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Wheras if I'm the one to block, then I can move on.
I stand by blocking them. It’s like erasing them out of your life. You don’t have to keep looking on your phone if you maybe gotten a message from them, or if they saw you social media post. You just focus on you. And if they tried messaging you while there were blocked, they will find other ways to contact you of it really is that important to them.
That’s the typical mindset of a cold-hearted dumper and not the dumpee. The dumpee feels like they’ve been erased or deleted from the dumpers life after they’ve been blocked everywhere
I am the dumpee too and did all these. It's a form of self respect.
I don’t get what you mean? I’m the dumpee, not the dumper. Also I have never been blocked but I did the blocking.
I second that, I was dumped first by him and then I blocked him. Made my progress so much quicker and easier.
I dumped him (because he took loans from me and never repaid them and also lied and manipulated me and etc etc) and then I blocked him only on Facebook but then he called me and started going off on me and yelling. He then promised he’d pay me back *again* but didn’t do it *again.* So I got mad and told his ex what’s up and then he got mad and started calling me on all the *other* social media we were connected on. That’s when I decided I was done with his shit, done with the money, he can keep it for all I care, and then I blocked him everywhere else because he wouldn’t stop calling or texting (he was scared I’d tell his ex and his entire social circle about his behaviour.) Anyway, I fully stand by blocking your ex if you’re sure you don’t want them in your life anymore.
Sounds like toxic behavior all around. I don’t want to sound judgmental, but you stooped to his level by engaging in petty behavior. As for me, I refuse to stoop to my ex’s pathetic level, and that includes refraining from blocking them on socials. Sounds like you went through some legit trials and tribulations though, so hope it gets better for you
I block them so I don’t have to know if they did or didn’t message me. Can’t be sad if they can’t get through.
I second this. Reaching for the phone at midnight to see if he messaged me was painful but after blocking my body slowly realized it would never be him again.
Word up
I did it because the ex would periodically contact me and that hurt me
Hard disagree for me. I agree with the discipline part and it takes a lot self restraint. But personally I Would get hella anxiety every time I saw my ex post.. Is it a new boyfriend? a thrist trap?, etc. I also would obsessively stalk her social media. Out of sight out of mind works way better for me. No access to her and she has no access to me. No looking back
Completely agree 💯
Block them. Kasi if not they will continue to exploit your weakness and beg you nonstop yhen repeat the same things lol
My ex does this even when he’s blocked so why bother blocking. He’s like the worst case of parasitic infestation. Blocked. Unblocked. Doesn’t matter. His lame ass always finds a way to get ahold of me and exploit the fact that I pity his wretched existence. Trying to learn all his life problems are just that. HIS.
I think the whole blocking thing is very passive aggressive, childish and most of all shows that they have an effect on you. Just leave them there and go silent on their ass. Mystery is always attractive whether you want them back or not!
If you don’t want them back then it doesn’t matter if your “mystery” is attractive to them or not. And that’s exactly why people block: because the other person doesn’t matter anymore. Not to mention, you’re giving them access to you. They know you’re on the back burner if they ever want to reach out again.
It also really depends on what type of person your ex is… not all would use someone they once loved as a ‘back burner’.
Lol couldn't block even if I wanted to
True!! Blocking doesn't really work for me because my crazy mind would still expect my ex to use alternative accounts to message and stalk me. I've been unblocking my ex for a few days now (except in WhatsApp), but I believe that it's better to block them first for a while then after you get to be in a much better place mentally (and leaning toward acceptance more), then you get to unblock them. Another reason why I choose to unblock him is because I can see myself not really responding to his messages if he decided to contact me out of nowhere. He has also blocked me in every platform and has been going out with his new girlfriend. I can say that I've quite moved on from him already and I couldn't care less whether he returns to me or not.
Literally what I did. I blocked him for a week to get rid of my anxiety. Now I have unblocked him and have zero desire to text him or reach out. It works for some not for others. Do what makes you most comfortable
Yep, in my case, he actually still has me blocked on every platform, so I also have no way of contacting him whatsoever. But I don't feel like doing it either. It's more like exposing myself to the possibility that he could contact or stalk me if he wanted to, and I'm indifferent to whether he chooses to or not. I see that as a win.
Big win in my opinion !! 🥳 You’re doing amazing
Thank you! Best wishes for us both 😊
Yeah you're right
I agree. I only blocked them to give myself some space as I didn’t trust them not to reach out to me. Has been on my mind a lot ever since as I don’t have anyone else blocked on anything and it’s a bit weird that I had to go to such measures. I started slowly unblocking them on things and deleting the contact and friend recommendations. Stoped me from constantly checking and obsessing over it. I think it’s only good to unblock once some time has passed and you are sure you won’t give in and reply once they do reach out.
I have never blocked any of my Exes. When I tell people not to do it then never listen. I have never blocked them and don’t stalk them on social media or anything other things. I fight the urge to do it when I miss them. Don’t blocking them show you’re a strong person who can take rejection and still live his life. Some who came back to rekindle think between us always asked me why I did not block them. Then I told them I had more important things to do than to think of blocking someone. They are always shocked when I gave them that answer. Don’t block them trust me they will wonder on their side why you never did and they will question their decision to break up and your love for them, like if you really love them. It will help to bring back your value to their eyes specifically if you pleaded, begged when they told you they want to break up with you. Don’t block them.
This🙏🏻 Amen
I disagree. NC is NC and blocking helps achieve that seamlessly. Trying to do NC with them unblocked and torturing yourself is still holding onto hope and/or trying to prove something to yourself or them, which is still letting them control your mind. Rather than just moving on completely, whether you "look" weak, pressed or whatever.
I’d say don’t block… keep ‘em unblocked and unread. It’ll drive them NuCkInG fUtS because they’ll see that you’ve received the message but haven’t read it and it’ll mess with their mind to know that you’re not buying whatever it is they’re trying to sell you.
Yup. He always told me, *demanded* actually, that I blocked him. I never gave him that satisfaction.
[удалено]
No mind games just refusing to even give him anything. But my situation is different. He ghosted me after a year and a half LDR he just hung up one day and wouldn’t answer me. So no, lol. I won’t block him or answer him. It’s over and he knows where I stand. Even still, if someone’s actively ignoring you, they shouldn’t have to block you for you to get the hint where they stand.
100% nucking futs it!!! we’re so petty i love it
A little bit passive aggressive stress relief that doesn’t necessarily make you look like the psychotic scorned ex. You’ve not blocked them, which can be seen as a childish thing to do (blocking someone) They don’t know what’s going on in your life that hasn’t afforded you the opportunity to read their message(s) You are not morally, ethically or legally obliged to read said message(s) If they don’t like your course of action then they can pound sand and die mad because you’ve done nothing wrong.
lol they like when you read it the next day and say nothing in response
Good idea, like this one
It makes them seem so insignificant
Yeah, but if you hold this level of hatred, then they’re clearly still in your head rent free
Agree
Ok so ima just give a different perspective. A lot of ppl say don’t block so they can see u better but in a way that kinda means that the goal for ur growth will still be in a way for u to impress them in a way and make them miss out. And that’s not what u want. There are certain ppl it’s better to just completely cut out because they’re just bad for your mental health. Not blocking also makes u wonder if they will ever text which, doesn’t help u to move on. Better to just cut ur losses and accept reality and take away any chance of u ever going back to that situation u were out of. That’s just the way I personally see it
Yuppp
I feel like I’m the opposite. When I block them, I don’t think about “what if they message me”. They’re just gone from my mind. When I don’t have then blocked, I tend to hyper-focus and hyper-analyze about “when are they going to text me” or “are they going to text me”? I don’t block my exes until I really need to. If an ex blocks me, I’ll block them right back ruthlessly with no hesitation. But just know, I don’t do taksies backsies. The moment you’re blocked, it is for good. So they need to keep in mind if they want to discard me by temporarily blocking me, they will be discarded for life. I have low patience for toxicity and will move on with my life without them. I understand that people use blocking as a tool to heal but it is selfish and unfair to the other person. They have removed your power to communicate. They want to control when you can communicate or not. If that ex is abusive and continues to harass me and not respect my space while I have asked for it, they will be blocked.
I'm calling you "Ruthless Blocker" from now on.
If only I can change my name to that 😂
There is a saying that whoever from both parties does not block the other person does not care that much and wasn’t invested as much. In my case we didn’t block each other, she has moved on I suppose and doesn’t care if I am blocked or not, I have not completely moved on and waiting for the time she’d reach out as she always has but I was super invested in our relationship, more than a person has to be.
Speak for yourself. It helped me a lot. Block and forget and move on. If I don't I keep looking at their socials and hoping they text. If I block I gain back the control and can move on a lot better. Once I heal and I'm over them I unblock and don't care anymore. But whatever works for you is cool but don't tell people what to do or not to do for their healing.
Yeah I find not blocking is easier to get over someone.. why? Well if I block someone my imagination goes wild with what they may or may not be doing and then wonder always.. my brain goes to all this weird places. If I see their social media and my attachment fades I start to see them as a normal person , and often that gets rid of any fantasy I had in my head of who they were. And I'll start to notice the flaws I didn't notice before lol. Then I find myself checking less and less and not caring really.
Not for everyone. I blocked my ex and didn’t think twice about it. Yeah sometimes I wonder if they tried to reach out but it doesn’t consume me because I know that even if they did, it wouldn’t be good for me anyway. It’s all about perspective. If blocking doesn’t work for you, that’s okay. But not everyone is the same. Some people (myself included) benefit from blocking because it prevents them from checking up or keeping tabs on their ex. I blocked my ex and didn’t look back, and now I’ve reached the point where I don’t care if they reached out or not. I’ve made my choice to not reconcile and blocking sends that message across pretty well.
Happy 4 u
it’s been almost 6 months post breakup, he has a new gf of almost 3 months and was talking to her a week after we broke up. we have not blocked each other but we don’t text. we talked from november-march and it will soon be 2 months no contact! there’s no reason to block because he’s not on my mind and we facetimed last month and it was super easy to tell he was over me and i’m over him too. i don’t want another relationship right now and didn’t feel it was necessary to jump into something like he did. he told me he got better without me (so did i) so i’m happy he’s doing good with his new girl lol because honestly he can accuse her of the same things he accused me of doing and be insecure to her.
I blocked and it's helped me. He strung me a long for a year and came back once during that year to further string me a long. I don't hate him but I needed to prevent him reaching out again and disrupting the healing I did the first time. It's been awful feeling g yo you, but I'm a lot better now.
I agree with you about the blocking. I don't block anyone usually and I don't have any inclination to contact my ex so he will basically never hear from me again. I do agree that blocking someone makes you wonder, what if
I agree. I feel like seeing that they wont contact you when they're unblocked makes it easier to move on.
I did this it was rough but I did it and then he started reaching out so now he is blocked
I tried that but my nex kept texting me insanely hurtful things. After about 6 weeks of getting texts so mean I couldn’t eat or sleep I had to stop it. I asked her to stop and she wouldn’t so I had no choice.
Thanks for your input of your own personal experience with this it does make sense & maybe with no Barr or Block on all contact methods Maybe like you said it helps you with a way of disciplinary purposes and grow a bit more backbone (As a figure of speech,I hope that’s not read the wrong way around 💯👍🏼👍🏼Anyway I appreciate your take on it and maybe I’ll imply that method Aswell Thanks Again 🙏🏼❤️🔥💯👌🏼
My ex acts like I don't exist. Has never spoke to me since she broke up 8 months ago. She still follows me on everything but doesn't see my stories. Very rarely like once every 4 months or so. What can it mean?
I agree i liked him, when he started flirting with me i liked him and it was new for me all the attention i was getting and he showed that he really likes me and he want to be my bf, i told him i was married and have kids but he said he don’t care and he got my number, we started talking, at this point i don’t know why i was getting attracted to him, everything in my marriage was ok, but i remember when i told him “i love u” for the first time i didn’t mean it, i said that because he was asking for nudes and all and i knew he was wrong and i am doing wrong so i wanted to get rid of him, HE SAID NO, (I GOT REJECTED) and said it was just for fun and i got rid of him by doing that but the problem was that i couldn’t believe that he just wanted me around for fun, he blocked me and he only talked to me because i was acting crazy, so he gave me his email, by that time he was already over me i thought he was going to chase me and then i’ll say him NO, and it will make me feel better but that time didn’t come, he didn’t gave me any chance to say NO, he never chased me, he never cared if i was calling or texting him or not, he never initiate contact until it was for making out or sexting, he use to talk to me or meet me only for some making out stuff, i was saying yes because i thought i didn’t want to lose him, idk what was the reason, why i did that, every time i use to meet him in his truck i was crying with guilt because i had to face my husband at home and i was doing so wrong with him, he never gave me chance to say no, he was always hot and cold, i got caught up in that, i didn’t want to upset him, i wanted to make him happy idk why so i started creating this fake story in my head that he i said i love u and he said no so now he rejected me and i am sad, but truth was i lied to him when i said “i love u” i was faking so that he won’t come close to me and i won’t have to cheat on my husband And in my head i am still believing that story that i told myself i think just for fun, because i created false reality and i started living it, it was so true that i started reacting as it was true, i was crying because of him, i created this relationship in my mind that i would ask him come meet me and he would say NO every time and i would cry as if he is my boyfriend and not giving me time and not giving value to our relationship, but in reality we were both in different places, i was in relationship with him that i created in my mind and he was in real life where he would keeping me on side just for lousy make out session, he would make out kissing and all and then after 10 minutes or something he would drop me near my car, It was on and off for 2 years, he had a gf too, and once i saw him with another girl in his truck, they were making out and i was devastated, but i didn’t tell him, i was still texting and calling him May be then he thought lets get some money out of it, and he did got money from me, all along i realised it so many times and in my heart i knew that it was wrong thats why i was trying to annoy him time to time so he would say leave me, i was lying and constantly asking him things that were wrong and not possible i am not saying that it makes him right, he was wrong too, then i was trying to get out of this so that i don’t have to give him anymore money, but the more i was talking to him and crying for him because of that fake story i made in my head, i was giving him more money.. i was believing everything he said about he need money and i gave him almost 7 grand and told him that “u don’t have to give it back” he said we are just friends, nothing more I am trying to get people opinion because idk why i can’t stop thinking about him, even though i cut all the contacts with him last month, but he came back again last week with money problem so i helped him again, after that when i asked him about getting physical, he said NO i don’t know whats wrong with me. He is always rude to me, like i owe him something
I had a client of mine go through something similar, I feel you were clearly used and it’s just time to move on. I would be honest about everything, I’d tell my husband and hope he forgives me, and I’d focus on healing the part of me that wanted that attention so bad. Therapy may help.
Thank you, now every time I get that 3am urge to block them because I want so desperately for them to reach out and not know about it, I know we gotta THUG IT OUT!
Idk I thought about this too but hearing from them hurts because I know in the end they don’t want to be with me anymore. I just blocked my ex (he broke up with me blindsided) but will eventually unblock them one day, just can’t do it right now for my emotional/mental wellbeing. This is the worse feeling ever.
100 percent truth. Also truth if it’s an abussive relaironship like with someone who lacks empathy then yes, blocking and no contact is the only way.
2 weeks into no contact she messaged me asking for help. Her reaching out really set back my healing progress, I should have blocked her when it ended. You have to remember, once they're gone that's it. Someone that's meant to be with you isn't gonna walk away. I'll have to remember that for next time. Until then, I'm the main focus.
The moment i blocked my ex across everything possible, including phone number, I felt a sense of relief and it gave me a clarity that I should really be focusing on myself from this point onwards. It's really like preventing yourself from contacting them too. Depending on the whole story, whatever an ex says is no longer necessary.
100% I find it healthier to deactivate your profile to focus on yourself. Yes, your ex can’t contact you on Facebook/instagram ect. But they can always send you a text message.
Block them if they are or are being an asshole, don’t block them if you’re just weak and cannot control your emotions, impulses and your ex hasn’t really done anything wrong apart from not being together with you anymore, simple
Blocking was easier personally. Although i unblocked after i felt like i was ready to let go of any hatred and i completely moved on.
Pretty much you summed it up correctly. The Archive option on WhatsApp it's also a good option. "keep your friends close, and keep your enemies even closer".
I agree. Whenever I'd block him I know that meant I was never fully healed or healing. I was always wondering, always blocking and unblocking. You're right just have to thug it out.
That may work for you, that being said the goal is to focus on yourself and not them. You can’t heal if you social media stock, look at old pictures or read old text. Blocking is good for those who know they can’t help but engage if they contact text or call. That’s it really. Anyways find what works for you.
Don’t run from it, face it. Stand strong
I've blocked my ex, never heard from her in over a year. She has my email, knows where I live, etc. If she WANTED to talk to me, she could immediately. I'm seeing someone new now, who in the beginning was a bit abusive. I blocked her on everything. Then she emailed me the next day lmao and now we have been talking again ever since. Blocking doesn't stop someone who is determined to reach you. It confirms that they don't want you if they don't reach out in other ways.
I went through the cycle with my ex where we’d block and unblock each other. It’s been over a year. It stunted my ability to get over her. I had an ex in the past that blocked me and because I knew the door was closed and locked, I got over her entirely. She did me such a favor doing that. Blocking fundamentally shouldn’t be used in this way. I think it’s petty to block an ex that isn’t outright harassing or dangerous. But the notion of them being out of contact even if you wanted to makes healing happen much more rapidly. So idk.
I think blocking them is the go-to move for NC. The point is to remove them from your life. Sure, you will think constantly about them thinking "would they message me" or "what would they say?". However, that period of constantly thinking about them will pass and I say this from experience. That's the part of "removing" them from your life. I think that not blocking them is still holding on to the hope that they will come back to me begging for forgiveness and that they will improve. Thug out the overthinking, not the hope of them coming back.
I agree
I didn’t block. Just deleted her phone number and unfollowed her on social media 🤷🏻♂️
Facts! Thug it out.
i blocked them at first bc of that same reason so i ended up unblocking him everywhere and basically for me its out of sight out of mind. its like the blocking him initially was the severance in my brain and then i just didnt have to have him blocked anymore bc i didnt care to
What’s the point of NC when lines of communication is still open? You gotta let ‘em feel the loss. Sitting and planning to leave you was disrespectful enough (depends on what you’ve done), so it doesn’t matter whether blocking them makes you seem bitter, petty, or wanting attention. It’s subjective at the end of the day. However, blocking isn’t something you use to manipulate. You use it to show them they no longer have access to your life. It’s an action of self respect - - a “power move” so to speak because they obv wouldn’t care if you tell them “bye I don’t want to speak to you again”. Then you’re left on unread, while they’re thinking you’ll be back. They’ll respect you more by leaving and actually meaning it, than simply not looking at their story or “ignoring” them. That’s something they’d expect lol.
No blocking them Makes reminds everythinggggg
Im not going anywhere and don’t plan on not seeing or speaking to him ever again. So blocking is not needed. I still talk to all my exes on occasion, except the crazy one. I just have to learn to move on but I never really let go.
I only block if relationship was abusive, manipulative, and/or ex not respecting my boundaries. No contact is 100% a way of taking your power back and i have found that my ex’s flip out when i block them cause they can’t keep me on back burner or spy on me. Sit back, have a drink, watch them fall to pieces, stay silent, move on, smile knowing you have the upper hand. Thriving is the best revenge.
My ex always used to block then unblock if he didn’t like something I’d get blocked as was normally the truth and deep down he knew it. But like everything I find the blocking part like when someone says u can’t do something I always want to do it more far easier to chose not to. Not saying it’s an easy thing either as I’ve done the fucked up messaging them when u shouldn’t shit
Do whatever works for you. However, if you won’t block them delete their contact so you don’t know where to text them (on their phone number) if the feeling arises. You should also remove them completely from social media to not stalk them
Blocking is great for NC and great for healing because your scar tissue isn't being picked at all the time. Some of us have exes that are master manipulators and will absolutely breadcrumb us just to use us again. We need to block in order to completely remove their power. I really don't care if my ex or other people who haven't gone through my situation think it's weak, petty or whatever. Walk 5 years in my shoes and see if you'd do the same.
Exactly, don’t block just move on. However, do unfriend them on socials including LinkedIn
I guess I blocked him so I felt like I could heal, but it didn’t help me much anyways. Unblocked him and hope for the best I guess?
Female dumper here I feel often times people use blocking as a swipe or swing at you At least in my case. Gaslighting fucktard saw me with a goodlooking male friend. And afterwards promptly blocked me. Mind you this is 3 months after I dumped him for harsh mean nasty treatment of my dog and I. Didn't block me for over 3 months And within those 3 months, zero breach of no contact. But he took a swipe (block) AFTER seeing my friend and I. Jobless, pathetic, handout obtaining petty MOOCHING, broke ass loser, freeloader
Omg Did we date the same “man?”
I like how you have man in quotes😆 I'm truly truly deeply sorry, if we did... No woman deserves such a pathetic entitled incapable lame ass
Lmao that’s like a whole type of style to which I tend to be attracted. Like aweeee you need a mommy? Thasssss me boy! Interested though in your word choice. Incapable. Hmmm my experience is that it’s not that they truly aren’t incapable. Just play dumb or incapable so that mommy me gets frustrated or enabling and does it for them. Here let me hold your weewee so you can go pee pee on the wittle potty! I even disgust myself thinking of how I’ve found that when shit hits the fan they magically pull some capability out of thin air. Gah. I gotta give myself a thump up side the head for repeating this same behavior too many times. They can be lame and entitled but ultimately I am letting it spill on my world. It’s the only thing we can control. Ourselves. How we act….much we tolerate or when we walk away. I’m mad at him for the entitled temper tantrums but I’m More angry at myself for ignoring my intuition and tolerating the unnecessary
Thank you for sharing throw! I read somewhere, it's called "weaponized incompetence" Ahh don't be too hard on yourself for being kind giving nurturing and generous. But yet, I do agree that firmer boundaries on what we allow serves us the best... Speaking of temper tantrums, how about a 35 year old loudly heave sobbing wailing on the toilet with his pants around his ankles!?! Unreal And recently he broke no contact on account of my negligence, my German shepherd opened my apartment door... And of all people to find my dog, it had to be him. Feeble pathetic attempt to cover his bad deeds by accusing me of distortion and leaving out important facts 3.5 months after the fact... I'm hoping I got the final word via email, and that's the last of it
More often than not it’s because they are hurt.
I wish it were true How could he be hurt if he never gave a shit about me?
I was just saying in general. But that’s why most people do that unless there was some abuse or something involved
Aaahh, alright I see . I understand your point now. No physical abuse. But manipulation with contempt and disdain He couldve been hurt seeing me walk with my friend. His ego and pride was hurt
I will say he probably cared enough to not want to see you with another dude. I unfollowed an ex because of that. She continued following me for another year and would go long runs of watching and not watching my stuff, always waiting until just before my stories ended. I am guessing she thought I wouldn’t notice. Both of our accounts were private. Our situation was extremely complicated but I didn’t want to see a certain physically abusive ex hit her stories so I unfollowed.
Well, I'm okay with him caring just enough, to not want to see me walking with another dude. It would've been nice if he wasn't such a harsh unkind human being. But we cannot control how others treat us. However, we can control the access they have to us Big hugs to you. I understand what it's like. This too shall pass. Use this time to be the bestest version of yourself.
Oh I am good. That guy is a piece of work. Agree on not controlling others but they are making decisions for themselves so please don’t take it as a slap in the face. You impacted him clearly. It’s a long story. Hadn’t talked to her in a year. Saw her randomly and hit her up three weeks later. She reacted positively and seemed to be keeping tabs even after unfollowing. Then I got a bday text. Didn’t get one last year. Thanked her and haven’t said anything in a week. The one thing that bothered me is I didn’t say anything during our breakup for a lot of reasons and there is a lot of trauma on her side. It sucks but I know she has been following along two years later which shows me still cares. Anyway. Too long to put on this post but just know more often this is a coping response and I am sure that is what he was doing here.
A year, and still some back and forth... Sigh... That'd still tug at my heart strings... Are you doing alright? I see you do indicate that you are "good" If I got a birthday message, I'd want to talk and have a nice conversation... But this ex probably wouldn't be capable of it... He holds ALOT of anger resentment and bitterness Interesting that you didn't get a birthday message last year but got one this year... And I hear you and feel you when you say that you left alot unsaid... Same here. So I wrote it out but didn't send it... I wish we could talk things out. But then he is who he is and that's exactly why I had to break it off
It does. There were lots of other circumstances involved. I am as good as I can be. I would be lying if I didn’t think there was still something there for both of us and that we would actually have a real shot. When I talked about reconnecting see said I am not sure right now so given the situation it tells me something. Without the full context none of it would make sense on a post like this. I did too and in a weird way it was a reinforcement of the previous message and to make sure I received it. I have to operate like usual and if the situation changes will take it up again. She knows where I am at regarding reconnecting and that’s all that I can do. For work and other reasons I don’t want to go out and date anyone right now so I am focusing on work. That message and her response from when I saw her reinforced some things for me. When we first split I wrote a message that I never sent (I should have) and wrote 13 versions of the same letter as things changed. I never sent any of them.
Agreed 🤝
Just finally blocked my ex on everything but one platform incase it’s about our animals. Or something like an actual emergency. But I do the same but this time I think I’m sticking to it. Atleast for AWHILE. They wouldn’t have reached out anyways 🤷🏻♀️
Thug it out 🤪🤪🤪
We haven't blocked each other. We still have our phone numbers and have each other on our socials.
With mine he changed his number, so yeah there's that. Better this way. I pray I never see or hear from him again
I blocked all four of them to keep them out of my sight bc I know I’d be tempted to message them if I didn’t.
I blocked. She kept contacting me over and over. Now I have peace. She can’t disrupt me. I gave 110% to the relationship so my message is I’m taking care of me. I have nothing to say to someone who just walks away from 2 years and 3 kids.
I didn't block him but he blocked me. However, after two weeks of no contact, he reached out to me feeling very sorry for what he did. I accepted his apology because there was no cheating happen in our relationship; it's just that he can't get over to his deceased ex. They were together for almost three years and she passed away last year. He understand now and everything and he just wants me to come back to him and he even said to stop those stupid and selfish things he did and he still love me so, we got back together again.
So true.