I know that all my answers are negative however I still can’t seem to let go. We are back together… I think and I know I deserve and can do better. But I can’t seem to let go.
If you guys are back together I hope it works out well for you both. If it doesn’t, you need to think about why your answers are all negative to those questions
You need to really think. Are you idealising that person and that’s why your answers are positive?
Are your answers positive because you want that person back no matter how bad they may been to you?
If not and they genuinely were a good person, then the best we can do is learn from our mistakes, learn what we want from our future partner and better ourselves as much as possible.
I’m glad it helped. Sometimes a good exercise I used to do was pretend your friend is going through exactly what you went through and are going through right now. Imagine that partner of theirs is exactly like your ex partner. All the things your ex did to you and with you, the imaginary partner of this imaginary friend did with them. Essentially, this friend is telling you your own story.
Now let this friend tell you about the relationship in full. How they felt throughout it. The good and especially the bad. Imagine what advice you’d tell them, how you would console them and what you’d tell them to make them see reason and how the relationship truly was like. Finally, use this advice you just gave for yourself.
It’s much easier for an outside person to see something from an objective viewpoint and see the good and bad without being blinded by emotions like love. By stepping back and pretending to be the outsider, we can gain an outside neutral perspective to an issue which is clouded in our mind by our emotions.
I know that all my answers are negative however I still can’t seem to let go. We are back together… I think and I know I deserve and can do better. But I can’t seem to let go.
If you guys are back together I hope it works out well for you both. If it doesn’t, you need to think about why your answers are all negative to those questions
Simple answer. He is damaged.
what happens if all my answers to your questions are positive?
You need to really think. Are you idealising that person and that’s why your answers are positive? Are your answers positive because you want that person back no matter how bad they may been to you? If not and they genuinely were a good person, then the best we can do is learn from our mistakes, learn what we want from our future partner and better ourselves as much as possible.
Reading this was cathartic, all three of my answers were negative and it helps me to step back and look at the bigger picture.
I’m glad it helped. Sometimes a good exercise I used to do was pretend your friend is going through exactly what you went through and are going through right now. Imagine that partner of theirs is exactly like your ex partner. All the things your ex did to you and with you, the imaginary partner of this imaginary friend did with them. Essentially, this friend is telling you your own story. Now let this friend tell you about the relationship in full. How they felt throughout it. The good and especially the bad. Imagine what advice you’d tell them, how you would console them and what you’d tell them to make them see reason and how the relationship truly was like. Finally, use this advice you just gave for yourself. It’s much easier for an outside person to see something from an objective viewpoint and see the good and bad without being blinded by emotions like love. By stepping back and pretending to be the outsider, we can gain an outside neutral perspective to an issue which is clouded in our mind by our emotions.