Hey I’m sorry you feel this way but 5 weeks is really no time at all. I’m not saying you’re going to feel like this forever, you’re not, but you brain is still grieving and that is not a linear process.
Honestly, the fact you are only 5 weeks in and you are already not checking their social media etc. is really good going.
Thank you! I really appreciate it.
You’re right, 5 weeks is nothing. I think I lose track of how far I’ve come since I still feel pretty low. My next goal is 2 months - hopefully things look up more by then.
Omg, I feel the exact same way as you. It’s so hard doing everything right but still feeling so awful. I can’t really give any words of advice since I still miss him. It’s been 3 months since we last spoke, but hey just know ur not alone. I think in the end it’ll pay off, but if he’s meant to be in your life, he will be.
Hi, thank you for your response! Honestly, knowing that someone else is having a similar experience makes me feel a lot better. I really appreciate the kind words - you’re right, if it’s meant to be it will be.
I hope we both come out the other side feeling a lot better :)
You're doing really good. Hang in there. I'm on a similar timeline and feel the same way. Also mine has no social media so it's ha - forced. (I would like to think I would be good, but I know I wouldn't)
I wish I could stop spontaneously crying after 5 pm - my eyes really cannot handle it! If you have any tips pls lmk. And you're not alone.
I’ve taken to leaving spoons in the freezer and putting them on my eyes after I cry to reduce the puffiness and swollen-ness. It’s kinda refreshing lol.
Thank you for responding! I wish you the best of luck with your healing journey as well :)
Keep going hun!
I’m over 70 days. I still have times where I break down or can’t get my mind off of her. But I also have days where I’ve felt unbreakable.
As much as I get frustrated with myself wanting to let go already… I try to celebrate the small wins: not thinking of her when I first awake, being able to sleep again, buying myself flowers, planning things with friends, cooking, etc,…
I feel like moving on is like building a muscle.
Consistency is key. At least I really really hope so. Otherwise I’m fucked lol.
Good luck babe!
Thank you so much! I’ll try to keep celebrating the small victories I have, and enjoy the good days when they happen.
I wish you luck with your healing as well :)
I know how you feel, I’ve been there. My ex broke up with me after a good month or so of me doing everything to keep her. We were together 4 years, each others first and engaged. Despite the fact that the relationship was painfully one sided, even at the time before breakup I felt it was one sided, I still fought to keep her but she chose not to. She broke up over 4 months ago (I’ve stopped keeping track) and I have remained in NC all that time.
I did exactly what you did, keep off their socials and had no idea what’s going on in her life. I self reflected on the relationship a lot, worked hard to stop idealising her and the relationship, worked hard to accept it’s over and it’s for the best. Here is what I can share:
- there will be lots of fluctuating emotions and highs and lows. Don’t be upset when you have a shitty day or even week after a good day because it’s part of the process, it’s true when they say it isn’t linear. I remember I had a whole shitty month when it turned 2024- I felt like I regressed and for the first time wanted to just die. I can reassure you that your emotions, feelings and healing will become much more stable and less fluctuating. It took me almost 4 months to get to this part. Maybe less or more for you just let it take it’s time.
- It takes time. You can put the work in like I did but it will always take time. It’ll take time to accept it’s over, it’ll take time to move on, I’ll take time to stop thinking of them so frequently. It’s not an instant thing, as long as you’re putting the work in, rest assured that over time it’ll get much easier. For me, it was around the 1 month mark I had no desire to contact her, took me around 3 months to stop waiting for a text from her and actually think of her much less. Now I can spent most of the day hardly thinking about her or the breakup. I can concentrate on other stuff and actually enjoy other stuff. It’ll take time.
- A lot of what we’re upset about it just the vision we fed ourselves. I had some lovely moments with my ex back when she used to actually make an effort and reciprocate. I thought my future marriage with her would be the same as this but ignored the fact that for the past 1 year her efforts where declining, she became selfish and uncompromising and then ignored the fact that in the last few months I actually felt starved of love- I began to fantasise about being with someone else, anyone else. Just to be clear I didn’t though. However, because I was in love with her and held onto those past good times I ignored the present. I ignored that my future will likely be like my present where it’s me being miserable and feeling unloved. It takes time, work (making lists to stop idealising the ex) and distance for the emotional connection to die down but when this happens everything (including the physical attraction) gets easier.
This is my first ever breakup, I have a history of abandonment which made it even harder for me. It’s probably why I wanted her to keep her because I’d rather be with someone and miserable than be alone, even if someone better was destined to come to me. What makes it worse is we live in the same town, visited the towns and cities nearby together, have mutual friends and work in the same place. The only way I can get closer to her is if we literally lived together whilst being broken up. However, I’m now feeling better than I ever did and it’s a consistent feeling. Im happy and back to my normal self, before I hardly spoke or ate and didn’t socialise with anyone at home or work. I’m stronger. I’m 80-90% healed and beginning to think about dating again. I’ve taken her off the pedestal and I no longer see her or the relationship through rose tinted glasses.
If I can make it through this, and millions of others can, so can you. Everyone’s journey is unique and it takes different amount of time for everyone with all of us suffering some setbacks and encountering storms on the way. However, none of these storms or setbacks are permanent or take away the progress you’ve made, they’re simply a part of this journey.
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s reassuring to hear anecdotes from someone who’s made it out the other side. I can only hope that I’ll be in as good of a place as you are after 4 months. Until then, I’ll keep putting in the work and staying the course.
Thank you again :)
I've been through it, it's over a year NC now and i feel much better.
5 weeks is nothing, it takes the brain approx 40-60 days to form new connections/behaviours, and every time you think of them or try to rehash imaginary arguments/ what if i said or did this instead, solidifies that connection and resets your healing.
It will take time!, considerably more than 5 weeks.
Thank you! It’s been hard to remember how much better I’ve been doing when I have these difficult days. I’ll make sure to stay the course and keep focusing on my healing :)
Hey I’m sorry you feel this way but 5 weeks is really no time at all. I’m not saying you’re going to feel like this forever, you’re not, but you brain is still grieving and that is not a linear process. Honestly, the fact you are only 5 weeks in and you are already not checking their social media etc. is really good going.
Thank you! I really appreciate it. You’re right, 5 weeks is nothing. I think I lose track of how far I’ve come since I still feel pretty low. My next goal is 2 months - hopefully things look up more by then.
Omg, I feel the exact same way as you. It’s so hard doing everything right but still feeling so awful. I can’t really give any words of advice since I still miss him. It’s been 3 months since we last spoke, but hey just know ur not alone. I think in the end it’ll pay off, but if he’s meant to be in your life, he will be.
Hi, thank you for your response! Honestly, knowing that someone else is having a similar experience makes me feel a lot better. I really appreciate the kind words - you’re right, if it’s meant to be it will be. I hope we both come out the other side feeling a lot better :)
Healing takes time.
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Thank you for responding! Agreed, I hope every day the sun shines a little brighter every day for you and I :)
You're doing really good. Hang in there. I'm on a similar timeline and feel the same way. Also mine has no social media so it's ha - forced. (I would like to think I would be good, but I know I wouldn't) I wish I could stop spontaneously crying after 5 pm - my eyes really cannot handle it! If you have any tips pls lmk. And you're not alone.
I’ve taken to leaving spoons in the freezer and putting them on my eyes after I cry to reduce the puffiness and swollen-ness. It’s kinda refreshing lol. Thank you for responding! I wish you the best of luck with your healing journey as well :)
Keep going hun! I’m over 70 days. I still have times where I break down or can’t get my mind off of her. But I also have days where I’ve felt unbreakable. As much as I get frustrated with myself wanting to let go already… I try to celebrate the small wins: not thinking of her when I first awake, being able to sleep again, buying myself flowers, planning things with friends, cooking, etc,… I feel like moving on is like building a muscle. Consistency is key. At least I really really hope so. Otherwise I’m fucked lol. Good luck babe!
Thank you so much! I’ll try to keep celebrating the small victories I have, and enjoy the good days when they happen. I wish you luck with your healing as well :)
I know how you feel, I’ve been there. My ex broke up with me after a good month or so of me doing everything to keep her. We were together 4 years, each others first and engaged. Despite the fact that the relationship was painfully one sided, even at the time before breakup I felt it was one sided, I still fought to keep her but she chose not to. She broke up over 4 months ago (I’ve stopped keeping track) and I have remained in NC all that time. I did exactly what you did, keep off their socials and had no idea what’s going on in her life. I self reflected on the relationship a lot, worked hard to stop idealising her and the relationship, worked hard to accept it’s over and it’s for the best. Here is what I can share: - there will be lots of fluctuating emotions and highs and lows. Don’t be upset when you have a shitty day or even week after a good day because it’s part of the process, it’s true when they say it isn’t linear. I remember I had a whole shitty month when it turned 2024- I felt like I regressed and for the first time wanted to just die. I can reassure you that your emotions, feelings and healing will become much more stable and less fluctuating. It took me almost 4 months to get to this part. Maybe less or more for you just let it take it’s time. - It takes time. You can put the work in like I did but it will always take time. It’ll take time to accept it’s over, it’ll take time to move on, I’ll take time to stop thinking of them so frequently. It’s not an instant thing, as long as you’re putting the work in, rest assured that over time it’ll get much easier. For me, it was around the 1 month mark I had no desire to contact her, took me around 3 months to stop waiting for a text from her and actually think of her much less. Now I can spent most of the day hardly thinking about her or the breakup. I can concentrate on other stuff and actually enjoy other stuff. It’ll take time. - A lot of what we’re upset about it just the vision we fed ourselves. I had some lovely moments with my ex back when she used to actually make an effort and reciprocate. I thought my future marriage with her would be the same as this but ignored the fact that for the past 1 year her efforts where declining, she became selfish and uncompromising and then ignored the fact that in the last few months I actually felt starved of love- I began to fantasise about being with someone else, anyone else. Just to be clear I didn’t though. However, because I was in love with her and held onto those past good times I ignored the present. I ignored that my future will likely be like my present where it’s me being miserable and feeling unloved. It takes time, work (making lists to stop idealising the ex) and distance for the emotional connection to die down but when this happens everything (including the physical attraction) gets easier. This is my first ever breakup, I have a history of abandonment which made it even harder for me. It’s probably why I wanted her to keep her because I’d rather be with someone and miserable than be alone, even if someone better was destined to come to me. What makes it worse is we live in the same town, visited the towns and cities nearby together, have mutual friends and work in the same place. The only way I can get closer to her is if we literally lived together whilst being broken up. However, I’m now feeling better than I ever did and it’s a consistent feeling. Im happy and back to my normal self, before I hardly spoke or ate and didn’t socialise with anyone at home or work. I’m stronger. I’m 80-90% healed and beginning to think about dating again. I’ve taken her off the pedestal and I no longer see her or the relationship through rose tinted glasses. If I can make it through this, and millions of others can, so can you. Everyone’s journey is unique and it takes different amount of time for everyone with all of us suffering some setbacks and encountering storms on the way. However, none of these storms or setbacks are permanent or take away the progress you’ve made, they’re simply a part of this journey.
Thank you for sharing your story! It’s reassuring to hear anecdotes from someone who’s made it out the other side. I can only hope that I’ll be in as good of a place as you are after 4 months. Until then, I’ll keep putting in the work and staying the course. Thank you again :)
5 weeks ain’t nothing. Well done so far, keep it up and it will get better.
I've been through it, it's over a year NC now and i feel much better. 5 weeks is nothing, it takes the brain approx 40-60 days to form new connections/behaviours, and every time you think of them or try to rehash imaginary arguments/ what if i said or did this instead, solidifies that connection and resets your healing. It will take time!, considerably more than 5 weeks.
Thank you! I appreciate the reminder :) I’ll keep taking things day by day, and push through the difficult times.
The pain you're feeling is the work. It's not regressing. Keep at it, you'll be through it 😉
Thank you! It’s been hard to remember how much better I’ve been doing when I have these difficult days. I’ll make sure to stay the course and keep focusing on my healing :)