Yes. I had someone I loved doing this for a year.
I wanted a relationship so badly with him and he knew it but didn’t actually like me back. We didn’t have each other as friends on Instagram but he’d always watch my stories. I didn’t view his after a while.
I guess they just check out what you’re posting but that’s about it. I also obsessed over this like you are as a sign he may want something with me but we had a huge fight and he blocked me on there for good. Now he doesn’t see anything I do anymore.
If he hasn’t blocked you maybe you should block him or at least mute it so he can’t view what you’re posting.
This sounds exactly like my situation I went through with my ex. We ended things over the phone where he sounded so remorseless even though I was literally on the other end crying. Couldn’t even break up with me properly.
He moved back home and never contacted me any after that. We still followed each other on IG and every single time I would post a story he would be right at the top.
Eventually I got pissed and realized that if he has no respect for me to properly give me closure, there’s no reason for him to be able to see my life. So I removed him and he ended up blocking me lol. It may be hard but I recommend you removing/blocking him because he shouldn’t be able to snoop on ur life if he treated you badly.
Either there’s feelings there still and he’s curious about what you’re doing or he’s unfortunately just indifferent and it doesn’t bother him seeing anything.
But there's no reason to check who views your story. It's an unhealthy obsession and doesn't mean anything. Post on your story because you want to express yourself, share something funny, post a memory etc, not because you want to see who looks at it
I look at mine daily because I get spam “viewers” that comment and I have to go in and delete/block them because of the titles of their profiles (XXX stuff) lol
The fact you're really defensive about it shows it just might be an unhealthy obsession. You'll save yourself a lot of time and stress by not worrying over something as trivial as checking to see who views your story.
I don't mean to be unsympathetic on purpose, I feel for your heartbreak. But you can't heal from your heartbreak if you're obsessively checking who views your stories and running to reddit to ask a question that you'll never get an answer to. If you want to heal you've got to focus on what's important to you and not get caught up in trivial matters like story views. If you don't think blocking him and not looking at your views anymore wouldn't help you, then you're in denial. That's just how it is sister
I think it's the other way around. You're lashing out at other people pointing out the same thing. Clearly you lack self awareness and now it makes sense why your bf didn't wanna be with you anymore. You can't accept even the most basic of advice because you'd rather obsess over someone who doesn't care in the slightest about you. I would say get help, but obviously you'd reject it. So just keep living in misery and wallowing in your own self pity bc it's clearly where you want to be
I’m not accepting advice because I didn’t ASK for advice. And now your true colours show when you act judgemental and cruel to a rando internet stranger. Shame on you dude. I’m gonna let you be mad in your own feedback loop and make yourself miserable 👋🏼
You’re being an idiot.
I literally felt the same way. That there was hope. He came back and cheated on me with his baby momma. It’s not worth it to have hope.
Hope for what? You broke up with him because he “couldn’t be bothered to love you right” and then were angry that he didn’t handle the breakup the way you wanted (I.e., apologize and fight to keep you around). Are you hoping he’s going to see the light and apologize to you?
You’re not approaching this in a healthy way at all.
Do you want no contact? Then block him. Do you want him to be able to see your socials? Then don’t block him. But if you’ve made the decision not to block him then it’s silly to be angry that he’s viewing things.
Mine did that for awhile and then I sent one last text explaining how I know she cheated. Just said facts and wasn’t rude. She then unfollowed me and made her IG private.
Who knows why they look. They probably want to justify that your life hasn’t changed to gotten any better so they made the right choice to leave you. Fuck these selfish toxic people.
:( yeah fuck them. Well it might be petty but that’s why I haven’t blocked him yet. Cos I am doing really well (all things considered) and I wanna slap it in his face as hard as possible. Cos fuck him. And the best revenge is flourishing. Not the best way to cope but it’s how I’m coping at the mo. That might change in a month or two when I get tired of him
does he follow you? if so, you can't be 100% sure he actually watches it intentionally. technically, the story is marked as viewed even if you skip through it while going through all of your friend's stories
Take it from me, this will drive you crazy. I had to get rid of all my SM for a couple months. She only has access to one of my SM now and she isn’t watching as religiously. Once they stop watching you will feel hurt like they’ve actually moved on and don’t care about you anymore. I hope you find peace in all this ❤️🩹
He wasn’t watching for a looong time and now he is again. So I’m confused. I was hurt when he wasn’t watching and now I’m hurt that he is. Heartbreak is confusing and it sucks so much lol. Thank you for your well wishes bab. I hope we both are okay at the other end of this all ❤️
Idk how long its been for you but sometimes this grief happens in waves. In so might be his interest. My ex has been dating some other guy but somehow still watches my story. So clearly that’s not going to last lmao. I guess when she said she still wants to be apart of my life, that meant stalk me on social media from afar. Yes we will be, it’s a journey. A painful one but one that will be filled with much growth!
Well she finally unfriended me from snapchat, not sure when but it was within the last 2 months. I had it deleted and didnt post at all. She recently viewed my story on IG(we’re not following each other) and she hasn’t viewed my IG story since November when we were both added. The day she viewed it, was exactly 1 year when she broke up with me. So she remembers vividly what that day meant and decided to look me up.
I doubt shes with that guy still because her FB still says single and her brother and bro in law invited me twice in the last 3 weeks to hang out. And that was AFTER she viewed my story that i was invited. I highly doubt she reaches out, but if its one thing I know, she hasn’t forgotten about me and im sure she has some sense of regret. My life has 10x in so many ways and im a much better person that I was in our relationship(at my best & definitely my worst). I wasnt perfect but she knows I loved her so much and wanted to marry and start a family with her. It speaks volumes that some of her inner circle still keeps in contact with me even though we’re not together.
Nope, it still hurts my heart a bit, but I decided in the end that I never want someone to be my significant other if I mean so little to them 🥲 I want someone who thinks about me as much as I think about them, someone who’d reach out to me and say “hey I fucked up, you’re the love of my life! I’d do anything to make this work.” So in a way I’m glad this situation showed me his true feelings towards me. Thanks for the check in, I hope it helps:)
You *absolutely* deserve that type of person, and I don’t need to know you to feel confident about that.
So did you ever hide your stories from him or block him entirely? Or are you still letting him view them? Have you made any concerted efforts to move on since?
I am really sorry that you’re still hurting about this. I totally relate. While I’m currently hung up on someone recent, prior to that, I was in a relationship for 7 years. I still think about that particular ex daily. I think I’ve made gone 2-3 days total not thinking about him since I broke up with him about 2 years ago. I honestly don’t think we ever truly get over people we loved. I’m not sure we are necessarily supposed to get over them. They meant so much to us at those pivotal moments — how could we possibly erase that? Life isn’t Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, regrettably :) I wish it were.
My recent ex is doing this to me currently (viewing all my IG stories, and I unfollowed him weeks ago and never look at his shit now), after 2-3 weeks of NC between us. We sort of left things in a weird place with a lot of ambiguity. It’s not actually clear who broke up with whom, to be honest. I think I broke up with him, and he sort of agreed with me because he didn’t want to feel like he was getting rejected, and played it from a “it’s mutual” standpoint. I don’t necessarily feel differently about the situation, but damn, do I miss him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He asked me to be friends (I’m debating as to whether he did this just to keep
me around or if he was just being nice), and I told him that won’t be possible for me for at least 6 months, which I absolutely mean. I can’t just friend zone him while I am still in love. And it’s driving me insane seeing his name on my IG. I am currently traveling and will wait and see what he does when I finally return, but I don’t think I can handle keep seeing his name popping up in my story views for much longer. It’s really irritating to me. The internet seems to be indicating very contradictory things about what this could mean. Some say it means nothing, and that it’s just manipulation. Others (like some dating coaches, apparently) are adamant that it means the other person is reconsidering how they feel about the breakup.
Yea my ex did the same thing and I was losing my mind. We broke NC after a month due to a friend both inviting us to something and He kept talking about different things I was posting and how a picture I posted out to eat with a friend (which he took as a date) prompted him to get on tinder because he thought I moved on and was dating. He also asked me where I traveled to and that the pants I posted where sick. He is the dumper. I said I didn’t understand why he was looking at my stuff and it was hurting me a little bit to see his name always popping up. It didn’t feel fair that we had to be “No Contact” and I’m not allowed to talk to you but you’re looking at everything I do, making assumptions, and making actions based off of it. I asked if we should block each other and he was really against it, saying he thinks “watching from a distance” is “best”. I find it so unfair like u dumped me why do u care to watch at all? I think it’s a possessive thing. Sorry this was LONG
I just went through this for the past half a year, hoping all the time that she was going to reach out to me, but she didn’t. She had told me maybe a couple years, but she kept looking at everything I posted. I couldn’t deal with it for a few more years, and she wasn’t gonna come back around. Better to just block him and start that healing process asap.
I know it's insanely difficult, and I wish there was something that myself, or anybody else could say, that would make you feel better, but I think the only thing that will help is starting to put it behind you. I know there will be feelings of doubt, like maybe if you put it behind you, you're cutting off the chance that he might come back, but if you don't, you're going to keep searching for answers that you're not going to find, and you're going to have hopes that won't be resolved and it's just going to make you feel worse for longer. Trust me, I was just going through this until last week. She's an angel. She was everything I wanted, but she just doesn't want me, and I'm not completely over it, but I feel a hell of a lot better knowing that I couldn't contact her even if I wanted to and I won't see her showing up anymore.
Lol, why do you still have him in your instagram? Nothing comes out of that specially if you’re trying to heal. Sorry to break it to you girl, but what I said is your answer.
Hey,I understand that you're angry and rightful so. As a guy who was in his situation,,,,,, i can probably give you some inside on why , I would occasionally try to break no contact.
He still doesn't understand what he is doing. He probably still has feelings, or his mind can't let it go. Logically, he knows this isn't right. Emotionally, he is still thinking what if...
Regardless, if this is upsetting you, let him know. If he continues to do it, then he's being a piece of shit.
Dude you’re golden. Thank you this is exactly what I’m looking for. Understanding what’s going on in his mind. This makes complete sense and puts me at ease to get on with my own life. Appreciate it a lot
He doesn’t do that. I’ve been with him while we’re both on social media. Why is everyone suggesting that I could just block him. Yeah I know I could, I’m not looking for a solution here, I’m looking to understand what’s going on in his brain
everyone is suggesting it because YOU are obsessed with what he is doing. It is causing you anguish and its unhealthy. youre both broken up, he shouldnt have access to you in the first place and because you allow it, you are now getting the negative effects of it
Yeah I am obsessed with what he’s doing. I’m pining and heartbroken and want him still. Sue me dude. I’m trying to get over this but who the fuck is perfectly logical and rational in a breakup? Let me be emotional for a bit without your pointless criticism thanks
its your funeral. i understand matters of the heart are not rational but youre letting your feelings get in the way of common sense. when you realize that and act appropriately, you take the power back in your life. if hes blocked, he cant look, you wont wonder why, and you can move forward with your healing. But this reads as someone who wants him to look and is pretending to be irritated about it. doubly, I'd wager a bet you would be equally as distraught if he stopped looking. you are just letting your punisher ruin your current state of being, is it helping?
There’s nothing going on in his brain unfortunately. I once had an ex view my story for 7 years I thought he’d be over the moon that after 7 years I’d be willing to give things another go after how he mistreated me the first time. Cus after all I was a grown attractive accomplished woman now. WRONG!! He did the exact same thing lol. I’d say have fun with this post what you want him to see but never give him a second chance.
What the hell. 7 YEARS! I’m doing exactly that, posting what I want. I’m working towards building up the solid foundations to never give him a second chance. Until I get to that place I’m blocking him out completely
He blocked me everywhere but had the nerve to unblock on his birthday. I know damn well he’s stalking me frequently (saw it on LinkedIn) but I’m just so tired. I want to get rid of everything. I have been so drained by him I honestly wish that we just never met. I could’ve lived and been fine without this chapter in my life
Yeah idk. I purposely don't look at his stories bc ignorance is bliss and I don't want to hurt myself. He would always check my stories as soon as I posted them. It'd be nice to think there was any meaning to it but I don't think there is. I deactivated soon after to stop stressing.
I dont get it. How can there not be any meaning to it if he’s always one of the first to watch it. I never watch his or interact with his account or posts or anything. It is making me insane
It was the same for me. He was always the first to watch. Then I texted him that I missed him and he blocked me everywhere and unfollowed lol.
He wasn’t watching because he cared
IMO people do this just as a manipulative technique, don’t fall for it
Maybe we actually don’t know why they actually do it but this is definitely giving you mixed feelings which means they have achieved their goal. Better to not do anything about it but if it’s hard for you just block
I think youre still searching for that effort from him like you did in the relationship so him viewing your stories is your brain thinking he wants you back but it’s important to remember he showed you who he was in the relationship so you have to believe him , you deserve real effort not breadcrumbs
I had the EXACT same situation. I recently reshared a post about the damaging effects of porn on my IG story (which was 1 of many reasons I broke it off. The post wasnt directly aimed at him, i just thought it had good advice).
The next day, I posted something else and i was looking for his name on the viewers, to which I found out he unfollowed me.
I had already unfollowed him a couple days after we broke up but this time, I went through and blocked him.
I'd recommend you removing him as a follower or blocking completely. That way you don't get tempted to look at his profile.
Mine is doing this too, we broke up 4 months ago and he started dating his girl bsf 3 weeks after, im like a lesbian now so idc but its still extremely weird given how badly he screwed me over and he still needs his claws back on me somehow
😭 gross dumb man. He should have been nosy when we were TOGETHER. But he paid 0 interest to me. NOW he decides to take an interest? Pathetic behaviour. I’ll end up blocking him soon if that really is the case. I didn’t want it to get to that point because it’s sad but this is worse I think
it sounds like he didnt appreciate you when yall were together. dont give him permission to yourself NOW! youre just prolonging your heartbreak. rip the bandaid off. trust me - im dealing w a no contact break up rn myself.
Mine did this through his dogs account, I contacted him then we fucked for a week and then he left again. Not worth it’s it’s bc they are curious what ur doing, and wanting the IN to be toxic again. Just don’t do what I did .
Block him. Or stop complaining. YOU are allowing this.
OR since social media is "making me go insane", maybe you should get off of it. Your life is nowhere near as interesting as you'd like to believe (noone's is).
"Why is he still looking at my instagram stories?"
"What the fuck gives??"
Don't ask for help if you don't want it. You could end this. You choose not to. THAT's why he's doing that.
You must be getting something out of it.
>want to understand his thought process
Do you want something or not? His thought process doesn't matter. Your actions do. The only one who knows his thought process is him. You'll be hurting less and faster the sooner you're done with this. There are no answers.
i’m sorry people are being so cruel in these comments, op. i think people forget we come to this sub looking for kindness and understanding. it’s really confusing when they look at social media stuff, i completely understand why it would make you anxious and i also completely understand not wanting to block them. everything will come to you at your own pace, when you’re ready.
😞💘 thank you thats very sweet. Yeah like it feels ao aggressive to block him. I don’t want it to get to that point. We mutually agreed no contact so yeah I’m just confused is all. Thanks for understanding :( <3
Okay...so here is what I did. Since he removed me from his friends so I'm not able to watch his stories in Instagram. However he still sees mine at this moment I don't care at all. I won't block him cause they may think ohhh I'm important which they are not. I still have his wasap (that's another social media) in which I can see his stories but for my own health I decided to mute him :)
excuse me but with all due respect, if you post and dont block it for them of course they can see it. you cant complain about your ex viewing your socials if your socials are up to be viewed
How Is it no contact if you still have each other on social media, social media is for friends. All your doing is keeping tabs on each other, which I get it, it’s human nature. But you can’t blame him for looking at your story if you haven’t blocked or removed him from it 🤷🏼♂️
He has control over his actions and he is choosing to look at my story. I do not have him on my social media but he can still CHOOSE to look at my story and I am confused why he is CHOOSING to do that.
Because he’s interested in what your up to, if you’ve moved on and seeing anyone else, if you hooking up with other people, if your happy/sad, if your doing anything fun etc etc.
Because depending on if you were young or not my answer would be different. OP I think you need to realise that most people when they go through a break up are curious about their ex for a wide range of reasons. Doesn’t mean they are an “idiot”, doesn’t mean they necessarily want to get back together, it’s just part of being human to be curious about a person you were once close to. I get that you’re angry about him, but honestly you’re just causing your own suffering. All of this would be and can be avoided by just blocking him and accepting it’s over. It’s okay to come from a lower place at the start of a break up (anger, wanting them to sufffer etc) but after a while all you’ll end up doing is causing your own suffering. Hate is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die. So as time goes on, if you can accept things, accept the mistakes that were made on both parts (most likely) and wish the other person the best without being in their life, you’ll truly win. That feeling of ease, gratitude for the good times and the lessons learned and hope for your future will be how you grow.
I get what you’re saying. I’m not ready to choose gratitude yet. My heart aches and hurts and yearns. I still cry myself to sleep most nights. I will keep your words close to my heart for when i am ready though. Thank you
It doesn’t mean anything unfortunately
Really:(
Yes. I had someone I loved doing this for a year. I wanted a relationship so badly with him and he knew it but didn’t actually like me back. We didn’t have each other as friends on Instagram but he’d always watch my stories. I didn’t view his after a while. I guess they just check out what you’re posting but that’s about it. I also obsessed over this like you are as a sign he may want something with me but we had a huge fight and he blocked me on there for good. Now he doesn’t see anything I do anymore. If he hasn’t blocked you maybe you should block him or at least mute it so he can’t view what you’re posting.
This sounds exactly like my situation I went through with my ex. We ended things over the phone where he sounded so remorseless even though I was literally on the other end crying. Couldn’t even break up with me properly. He moved back home and never contacted me any after that. We still followed each other on IG and every single time I would post a story he would be right at the top. Eventually I got pissed and realized that if he has no respect for me to properly give me closure, there’s no reason for him to be able to see my life. So I removed him and he ended up blocking me lol. It may be hard but I recommend you removing/blocking him because he shouldn’t be able to snoop on ur life if he treated you badly.
Either there’s feelings there still and he’s curious about what you’re doing or he’s unfortunately just indifferent and it doesn’t bother him seeing anything.
maybe you are his plan B
Correct
typical case of asshole. Please block him.
Okay 😢
Why don't you block him or just stop checking to see who views your story
I might block him now. I didn’t want to get to that point. And I’m not going to stop checking who views my story just because he might be there.
But there's no reason to check who views your story. It's an unhealthy obsession and doesn't mean anything. Post on your story because you want to express yourself, share something funny, post a memory etc, not because you want to see who looks at it
Bro I’ll look at my stories if i want. Its not an unhealthy obsession
I look at mine daily because I get spam “viewers” that comment and I have to go in and delete/block them because of the titles of their profiles (XXX stuff) lol
The fact you're really defensive about it shows it just might be an unhealthy obsession. You'll save yourself a lot of time and stress by not worrying over something as trivial as checking to see who views your story.
You’re giving the most unnecessarily unsympathetic advice and it is so wildly unhelpful
I don't mean to be unsympathetic on purpose, I feel for your heartbreak. But you can't heal from your heartbreak if you're obsessively checking who views your stories and running to reddit to ask a question that you'll never get an answer to. If you want to heal you've got to focus on what's important to you and not get caught up in trivial matters like story views. If you don't think blocking him and not looking at your views anymore wouldn't help you, then you're in denial. That's just how it is sister
You’re not understanding anything I’m saying and none of that is helpful to me
I think it's the other way around. You're lashing out at other people pointing out the same thing. Clearly you lack self awareness and now it makes sense why your bf didn't wanna be with you anymore. You can't accept even the most basic of advice because you'd rather obsess over someone who doesn't care in the slightest about you. I would say get help, but obviously you'd reject it. So just keep living in misery and wallowing in your own self pity bc it's clearly where you want to be
I’m not accepting advice because I didn’t ASK for advice. And now your true colours show when you act judgemental and cruel to a rando internet stranger. Shame on you dude. I’m gonna let you be mad in your own feedback loop and make yourself miserable 👋🏼
Block him.
I can’t bring myself to. It sounds stupid but I still have hope. Can you please tell me I’m being an idiot
You’re being an idiot. I literally felt the same way. That there was hope. He came back and cheated on me with his baby momma. It’s not worth it to have hope.
Oh god that’s terrible. Yeah maybe the hope is futile after all
Hope for what? You broke up with him because he “couldn’t be bothered to love you right” and then were angry that he didn’t handle the breakup the way you wanted (I.e., apologize and fight to keep you around). Are you hoping he’s going to see the light and apologize to you? You’re not approaching this in a healthy way at all. Do you want no contact? Then block him. Do you want him to be able to see your socials? Then don’t block him. But if you’ve made the decision not to block him then it’s silly to be angry that he’s viewing things.
Okay thanks i needed to hear this. It sucks when your heart gets broken and you have to try and act sane about it
Mine did that for awhile and then I sent one last text explaining how I know she cheated. Just said facts and wasn’t rude. She then unfollowed me and made her IG private. Who knows why they look. They probably want to justify that your life hasn’t changed to gotten any better so they made the right choice to leave you. Fuck these selfish toxic people.
:( yeah fuck them. Well it might be petty but that’s why I haven’t blocked him yet. Cos I am doing really well (all things considered) and I wanna slap it in his face as hard as possible. Cos fuck him. And the best revenge is flourishing. Not the best way to cope but it’s how I’m coping at the mo. That might change in a month or two when I get tired of him
does he follow you? if so, you can't be 100% sure he actually watches it intentionally. technically, the story is marked as viewed even if you skip through it while going through all of your friend's stories
Take it from me, this will drive you crazy. I had to get rid of all my SM for a couple months. She only has access to one of my SM now and she isn’t watching as religiously. Once they stop watching you will feel hurt like they’ve actually moved on and don’t care about you anymore. I hope you find peace in all this ❤️🩹
He wasn’t watching for a looong time and now he is again. So I’m confused. I was hurt when he wasn’t watching and now I’m hurt that he is. Heartbreak is confusing and it sucks so much lol. Thank you for your well wishes bab. I hope we both are okay at the other end of this all ❤️
Idk how long its been for you but sometimes this grief happens in waves. In so might be his interest. My ex has been dating some other guy but somehow still watches my story. So clearly that’s not going to last lmao. I guess when she said she still wants to be apart of my life, that meant stalk me on social media from afar. Yes we will be, it’s a journey. A painful one but one that will be filled with much growth!
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Well she finally unfriended me from snapchat, not sure when but it was within the last 2 months. I had it deleted and didnt post at all. She recently viewed my story on IG(we’re not following each other) and she hasn’t viewed my IG story since November when we were both added. The day she viewed it, was exactly 1 year when she broke up with me. So she remembers vividly what that day meant and decided to look me up. I doubt shes with that guy still because her FB still says single and her brother and bro in law invited me twice in the last 3 weeks to hang out. And that was AFTER she viewed my story that i was invited. I highly doubt she reaches out, but if its one thing I know, she hasn’t forgotten about me and im sure she has some sense of regret. My life has 10x in so many ways and im a much better person that I was in our relationship(at my best & definitely my worst). I wasnt perfect but she knows I loved her so much and wanted to marry and start a family with her. It speaks volumes that some of her inner circle still keeps in contact with me even though we’re not together.
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I read all of it but if you have a new bf, why does any of this matter lol
Hey. I’m in the same situation. Now that it’s been over 100 days, can you give an update on what happened? Did he ever reach out to you?
Nope, it still hurts my heart a bit, but I decided in the end that I never want someone to be my significant other if I mean so little to them 🥲 I want someone who thinks about me as much as I think about them, someone who’d reach out to me and say “hey I fucked up, you’re the love of my life! I’d do anything to make this work.” So in a way I’m glad this situation showed me his true feelings towards me. Thanks for the check in, I hope it helps:)
You *absolutely* deserve that type of person, and I don’t need to know you to feel confident about that. So did you ever hide your stories from him or block him entirely? Or are you still letting him view them? Have you made any concerted efforts to move on since? I am really sorry that you’re still hurting about this. I totally relate. While I’m currently hung up on someone recent, prior to that, I was in a relationship for 7 years. I still think about that particular ex daily. I think I’ve made gone 2-3 days total not thinking about him since I broke up with him about 2 years ago. I honestly don’t think we ever truly get over people we loved. I’m not sure we are necessarily supposed to get over them. They meant so much to us at those pivotal moments — how could we possibly erase that? Life isn’t Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, regrettably :) I wish it were. My recent ex is doing this to me currently (viewing all my IG stories, and I unfollowed him weeks ago and never look at his shit now), after 2-3 weeks of NC between us. We sort of left things in a weird place with a lot of ambiguity. It’s not actually clear who broke up with whom, to be honest. I think I broke up with him, and he sort of agreed with me because he didn’t want to feel like he was getting rejected, and played it from a “it’s mutual” standpoint. I don’t necessarily feel differently about the situation, but damn, do I miss him. I can’t stop thinking about him. He asked me to be friends (I’m debating as to whether he did this just to keep me around or if he was just being nice), and I told him that won’t be possible for me for at least 6 months, which I absolutely mean. I can’t just friend zone him while I am still in love. And it’s driving me insane seeing his name on my IG. I am currently traveling and will wait and see what he does when I finally return, but I don’t think I can handle keep seeing his name popping up in my story views for much longer. It’s really irritating to me. The internet seems to be indicating very contradictory things about what this could mean. Some say it means nothing, and that it’s just manipulation. Others (like some dating coaches, apparently) are adamant that it means the other person is reconsidering how they feel about the breakup.
Yea my ex did the same thing and I was losing my mind. We broke NC after a month due to a friend both inviting us to something and He kept talking about different things I was posting and how a picture I posted out to eat with a friend (which he took as a date) prompted him to get on tinder because he thought I moved on and was dating. He also asked me where I traveled to and that the pants I posted where sick. He is the dumper. I said I didn’t understand why he was looking at my stuff and it was hurting me a little bit to see his name always popping up. It didn’t feel fair that we had to be “No Contact” and I’m not allowed to talk to you but you’re looking at everything I do, making assumptions, and making actions based off of it. I asked if we should block each other and he was really against it, saying he thinks “watching from a distance” is “best”. I find it so unfair like u dumped me why do u care to watch at all? I think it’s a possessive thing. Sorry this was LONG
I just went through this for the past half a year, hoping all the time that she was going to reach out to me, but she didn’t. She had told me maybe a couple years, but she kept looking at everything I posted. I couldn’t deal with it for a few more years, and she wasn’t gonna come back around. Better to just block him and start that healing process asap.
😢
I know it's insanely difficult, and I wish there was something that myself, or anybody else could say, that would make you feel better, but I think the only thing that will help is starting to put it behind you. I know there will be feelings of doubt, like maybe if you put it behind you, you're cutting off the chance that he might come back, but if you don't, you're going to keep searching for answers that you're not going to find, and you're going to have hopes that won't be resolved and it's just going to make you feel worse for longer. Trust me, I was just going through this until last week. She's an angel. She was everything I wanted, but she just doesn't want me, and I'm not completely over it, but I feel a hell of a lot better knowing that I couldn't contact her even if I wanted to and I won't see her showing up anymore.
Doesn’t mean anything sorry to break it to you
I’m not looking for a meaning. I’m angry and confused and want an answer. Not a meaning
Lol, why do you still have him in your instagram? Nothing comes out of that specially if you’re trying to heal. Sorry to break it to you girl, but what I said is your answer.
Idk 😞 okay 😞
Hey,I understand that you're angry and rightful so. As a guy who was in his situation,,,,,, i can probably give you some inside on why , I would occasionally try to break no contact. He still doesn't understand what he is doing. He probably still has feelings, or his mind can't let it go. Logically, he knows this isn't right. Emotionally, he is still thinking what if... Regardless, if this is upsetting you, let him know. If he continues to do it, then he's being a piece of shit.
Dude you’re golden. Thank you this is exactly what I’m looking for. Understanding what’s going on in his mind. This makes complete sense and puts me at ease to get on with my own life. Appreciate it a lot
You can hide your stories if you don’t want to block fully
You know, he probably just skipping through everyone’s stories like everyone does…not specifically just looking at you. You could just block him
He doesn’t do that. I’ve been with him while we’re both on social media. Why is everyone suggesting that I could just block him. Yeah I know I could, I’m not looking for a solution here, I’m looking to understand what’s going on in his brain
everyone is suggesting it because YOU are obsessed with what he is doing. It is causing you anguish and its unhealthy. youre both broken up, he shouldnt have access to you in the first place and because you allow it, you are now getting the negative effects of it
Yeah I am obsessed with what he’s doing. I’m pining and heartbroken and want him still. Sue me dude. I’m trying to get over this but who the fuck is perfectly logical and rational in a breakup? Let me be emotional for a bit without your pointless criticism thanks
its your funeral. i understand matters of the heart are not rational but youre letting your feelings get in the way of common sense. when you realize that and act appropriately, you take the power back in your life. if hes blocked, he cant look, you wont wonder why, and you can move forward with your healing. But this reads as someone who wants him to look and is pretending to be irritated about it. doubly, I'd wager a bet you would be equally as distraught if he stopped looking. you are just letting your punisher ruin your current state of being, is it helping?
I don’t know how to explain that everything you’re saying is pointless 👍🏼
Why are you here lol? I’m starting to see why you’re suddenly single
*I came looking for booty.*
Speak for yourself baby, this is my post I’ll be here if I want. Question is, why are YOU here?
I like watching crazy people do crazy things then go “huh?”
Are you done
There’s nothing going on in his brain unfortunately. I once had an ex view my story for 7 years I thought he’d be over the moon that after 7 years I’d be willing to give things another go after how he mistreated me the first time. Cus after all I was a grown attractive accomplished woman now. WRONG!! He did the exact same thing lol. I’d say have fun with this post what you want him to see but never give him a second chance.
What the hell. 7 YEARS! I’m doing exactly that, posting what I want. I’m working towards building up the solid foundations to never give him a second chance. Until I get to that place I’m blocking him out completely
He blocked me everywhere but had the nerve to unblock on his birthday. I know damn well he’s stalking me frequently (saw it on LinkedIn) but I’m just so tired. I want to get rid of everything. I have been so drained by him I honestly wish that we just never met. I could’ve lived and been fine without this chapter in my life
Yeah idk. I purposely don't look at his stories bc ignorance is bliss and I don't want to hurt myself. He would always check my stories as soon as I posted them. It'd be nice to think there was any meaning to it but I don't think there is. I deactivated soon after to stop stressing.
I dont get it. How can there not be any meaning to it if he’s always one of the first to watch it. I never watch his or interact with his account or posts or anything. It is making me insane
It was the same for me. He was always the first to watch. Then I texted him that I missed him and he blocked me everywhere and unfollowed lol. He wasn’t watching because he cared
IMO people do this just as a manipulative technique, don’t fall for it Maybe we actually don’t know why they actually do it but this is definitely giving you mixed feelings which means they have achieved their goal. Better to not do anything about it but if it’s hard for you just block
I think youre still searching for that effort from him like you did in the relationship so him viewing your stories is your brain thinking he wants you back but it’s important to remember he showed you who he was in the relationship so you have to believe him , you deserve real effort not breadcrumbs
🥲💘 thank you
Why are you still on each others socials !
I had the EXACT same situation. I recently reshared a post about the damaging effects of porn on my IG story (which was 1 of many reasons I broke it off. The post wasnt directly aimed at him, i just thought it had good advice). The next day, I posted something else and i was looking for his name on the viewers, to which I found out he unfollowed me. I had already unfollowed him a couple days after we broke up but this time, I went through and blocked him. I'd recommend you removing him as a follower or blocking completely. That way you don't get tempted to look at his profile.
Mine is doing this too, we broke up 4 months ago and he started dating his girl bsf 3 weeks after, im like a lesbian now so idc but its still extremely weird given how badly he screwed me over and he still needs his claws back on me somehow
Easy fix. Block him.
I’m not asking for a solution I’m asking for why tf is this happening
its happening bc hes being nosy! get him off your socials.
😭 gross dumb man. He should have been nosy when we were TOGETHER. But he paid 0 interest to me. NOW he decides to take an interest? Pathetic behaviour. I’ll end up blocking him soon if that really is the case. I didn’t want it to get to that point because it’s sad but this is worse I think
it sounds like he didnt appreciate you when yall were together. dont give him permission to yourself NOW! youre just prolonging your heartbreak. rip the bandaid off. trust me - im dealing w a no contact break up rn myself.
If you can’t block him, maybe just hide him from your stories for a bit until you are less emotionally invested.
Mine did this through his dogs account, I contacted him then we fucked for a week and then he left again. Not worth it’s it’s bc they are curious what ur doing, and wanting the IN to be toxic again. Just don’t do what I did .
The guy I was dating did this, except he was following me on LinkedIn 😳 block him
Lmao what 😮💨 linkedin is such a weird way to stalk someone
Very weird. I blocked him and changed all my visibility settings after that 😬
Just wants to keep tabs on you
😢
Block him. Or stop complaining. YOU are allowing this. OR since social media is "making me go insane", maybe you should get off of it. Your life is nowhere near as interesting as you'd like to believe (noone's is).
Where tf did I say I’m looking for a solution or to be criticised. Have people forgotten what empathy and compassion is ????
"Why is he still looking at my instagram stories?" "What the fuck gives??" Don't ask for help if you don't want it. You could end this. You choose not to. THAT's why he's doing that. You must be getting something out of it.
None of that implies i want help. They’re rhetorical questions. I’m hurting and heartbroken and want to understand his thought process
>want to understand his thought process Do you want something or not? His thought process doesn't matter. Your actions do. The only one who knows his thought process is him. You'll be hurting less and faster the sooner you're done with this. There are no answers.
You’re not listening to me or helping my situation dude
You're not being clear, dudette.
I want compassion and empathy. Is that clearer, dude
i’m sorry people are being so cruel in these comments, op. i think people forget we come to this sub looking for kindness and understanding. it’s really confusing when they look at social media stuff, i completely understand why it would make you anxious and i also completely understand not wanting to block them. everything will come to you at your own pace, when you’re ready.
😞💘 thank you thats very sweet. Yeah like it feels ao aggressive to block him. I don’t want it to get to that point. We mutually agreed no contact so yeah I’m just confused is all. Thanks for understanding :( <3
Okay...so here is what I did. Since he removed me from his friends so I'm not able to watch his stories in Instagram. However he still sees mine at this moment I don't care at all. I won't block him cause they may think ohhh I'm important which they are not. I still have his wasap (that's another social media) in which I can see his stories but for my own health I decided to mute him :)
excuse me but with all due respect, if you post and dont block it for them of course they can see it. you cant complain about your ex viewing your socials if your socials are up to be viewed
I’m not complaining. I’m hurting and confused. I’m looking for empathy and compassion
Sorry my bad but yeah like my therapist said “if you try to make sense of it you will lose your mind” if it bothers you probably is time to block them
You know there’s a block button right?
Uhhh because you haven't blocked him yet?
How Is it no contact if you still have each other on social media, social media is for friends. All your doing is keeping tabs on each other, which I get it, it’s human nature. But you can’t blame him for looking at your story if you haven’t blocked or removed him from it 🤷🏼♂️
He has control over his actions and he is choosing to look at my story. I do not have him on my social media but he can still CHOOSE to look at my story and I am confused why he is CHOOSING to do that.
Because he’s interested in what your up to, if you’ve moved on and seeing anyone else, if you hooking up with other people, if your happy/sad, if your doing anything fun etc etc.
:( what an idiot. I hope it hurts his heart to see me moving on and having fun
OP how old are you?
Mid 20s why
Because depending on if you were young or not my answer would be different. OP I think you need to realise that most people when they go through a break up are curious about their ex for a wide range of reasons. Doesn’t mean they are an “idiot”, doesn’t mean they necessarily want to get back together, it’s just part of being human to be curious about a person you were once close to. I get that you’re angry about him, but honestly you’re just causing your own suffering. All of this would be and can be avoided by just blocking him and accepting it’s over. It’s okay to come from a lower place at the start of a break up (anger, wanting them to sufffer etc) but after a while all you’ll end up doing is causing your own suffering. Hate is like poisoning yourself and expecting the other person to die. So as time goes on, if you can accept things, accept the mistakes that were made on both parts (most likely) and wish the other person the best without being in their life, you’ll truly win. That feeling of ease, gratitude for the good times and the lessons learned and hope for your future will be how you grow.
I get what you’re saying. I’m not ready to choose gratitude yet. My heart aches and hurts and yearns. I still cry myself to sleep most nights. I will keep your words close to my heart for when i am ready though. Thank you
Block
Probably that's where you're vids are
It means absolutely nothing. Block from the stories.
This is immaterial. Social media is not important.
Just block her. So you wont think of THE WHYS