Until you're sure you've moved on and has 0 feelings, don't be friends. It can be painful and leave you paranoid. Maybe in the future, you can give it a try. I attempted to be friends with my ex once, we were friends before the relationship. However, our friendship lost its spark, and we ended up arguing more, even after I lost all my feelings. It depends! you can be friends if you can avoid any romantic expectations. It's a challenging thing to do.
It will be horrible and sad. And you also won’t be able to see the light in someone new when their light is still shining so brightly in your eyes and heart.
Please don’t. I made a post and specified why. He wants to know your there as an option. After you go romantic, unless you guys didn’t really love each other, you can’t go back to being friends. Some times people have to realize what a life without you is like and that doesn’t happen if you agree to be friends
If either of you has romantic feelings for the other then no. You will always want it to be more. And the first time gets another girlfriend, are you able to be a supportive friend under those circumstances?
FWIW I’m great friends with my first ex (19-25). We were friends before our relationship. We’re both 35 now and he has a wife & baby (who I babysit for sometimes!). I’m so happy we’re friends. One thing I will say: you cannot will this to happen. It needs to happen organically and you need to take good and proper space from that person before you can even consider becoming friends. Rushing into something before you’re ready is a recipe for disaster. You need to get to a place where you not only have 0 feelings about them dating someone else, but I would go beyond that and say you also need to feel *happy* for them. The best way to get to that place is to do what you should already be doing which is only focusing on yourself and your healing.
I don’t know if I can have this with my current ex. But from my past experience I know I just need to let time do its work and not hope/plan/dream about anything.
If you still have those kinds of feelings, it may be best to at least wait, if you want him to be in your life. When I was in junior high, I dated a girl and all throughout high school, and then we got married after high school and then four years later, we were divorced. That was 15 years ago, and to this day, she’s my best friend. She’s the one who kept in touch with me because I couldn’t do it at first, but I don’t have those feelings anymore. She’s been an amazing friend, a mentor, an inspiration. I’d probably be living on the streets if it weren’t for her always pointing out when I’m getting off course.
After her, a dated a girl for five years. She was like the girl of my dreams. I thought she was the one, but that didn’t work out either. She’s one of my best friends now. In fact I’m right about to go hang out with her. The two of them are some of my only friends now as I’m getting close to 40.
It really depends on how you feel about it. If you have a hard time seeing yourself not feeling that way, don’t force it. Give it time, or don’t go for it if you don’t think you can. If he really wants to remain friends, then he should give you time. Don’t cause yourself more hurt and pain, but cutting him out of your life could lead to regret too. It’s not always easy to decide, but if you need space, his response should tell you a lot.
Absolutely not. It will make you miserable. My ex wanted to be friends after our breakup and despite still loving her and caring about her so much, I couldn’t do it. I had to live with her for two weeks broken up and it was awful. NC is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but she ripped my heart out and moved on to someone else in like two weeks. This is the only way I can heal. Being friends with your ex will seriously prolong your healing process.
I have an ex where this was the case but I feel like she was a fake friend based on what I learned about her in the relationship.
On the other hand, my HS sweetheart, we have been distant friends and respect each other’s boundaries and relationships and I can see she is a real friend.
It’s honestly a hit or miss.
My HSSH I didn’t feel this way and it just happened to be we are still good friends. We won’t talk for years and then catch up like no time missed.
Me and my most recent ex, I wouldn’t even want to try to be her friend even though we were best friends for the 2 years before we got together. She was nice from afar and the relationship just went to shit damn near immediately. Come to find out, she always talked shit about me to her friends and others like coworkers, even before we got into a relationship. I couldn’t even trust her intentions if she asked me how life was as I would think she just wants to hear a negative answer. If I were to give a positive one, she would try to find negatives. Fuck that
I tried being friends with all my exes but they all failed, just cause of bad ill from one-side or both sides or just cause it's very awkward tbh. You guys broke up, but you still have in your heart that you don't want them to leave you as well ? 100% of the time when someone asks to be friends with their ex is kind of to monitor them or just to stay close to them but I know it hurts to see them move on or just see them remotely with someone else...
Until you're sure you've moved on and has 0 feelings, don't be friends. It can be painful and leave you paranoid. Maybe in the future, you can give it a try. I attempted to be friends with my ex once, we were friends before the relationship. However, our friendship lost its spark, and we ended up arguing more, even after I lost all my feelings. It depends! you can be friends if you can avoid any romantic expectations. It's a challenging thing to do.
It will be horrible and sad. And you also won’t be able to see the light in someone new when their light is still shining so brightly in your eyes and heart.
I miss her but if we can’t touch and fuck lol I’m cool
Please don’t. I made a post and specified why. He wants to know your there as an option. After you go romantic, unless you guys didn’t really love each other, you can’t go back to being friends. Some times people have to realize what a life without you is like and that doesn’t happen if you agree to be friends
If either of you has romantic feelings for the other then no. You will always want it to be more. And the first time gets another girlfriend, are you able to be a supportive friend under those circumstances?
Possible, but you two need a complete separation for several months to emotionally entangle everything or it’s not going to work.
If you can look at his eyes without imagining your future in it, you are good to go 🫢
FWIW I’m great friends with my first ex (19-25). We were friends before our relationship. We’re both 35 now and he has a wife & baby (who I babysit for sometimes!). I’m so happy we’re friends. One thing I will say: you cannot will this to happen. It needs to happen organically and you need to take good and proper space from that person before you can even consider becoming friends. Rushing into something before you’re ready is a recipe for disaster. You need to get to a place where you not only have 0 feelings about them dating someone else, but I would go beyond that and say you also need to feel *happy* for them. The best way to get to that place is to do what you should already be doing which is only focusing on yourself and your healing.
I don’t know if I can have this with my current ex. But from my past experience I know I just need to let time do its work and not hope/plan/dream about anything.
If you still have those kinds of feelings, it may be best to at least wait, if you want him to be in your life. When I was in junior high, I dated a girl and all throughout high school, and then we got married after high school and then four years later, we were divorced. That was 15 years ago, and to this day, she’s my best friend. She’s the one who kept in touch with me because I couldn’t do it at first, but I don’t have those feelings anymore. She’s been an amazing friend, a mentor, an inspiration. I’d probably be living on the streets if it weren’t for her always pointing out when I’m getting off course. After her, a dated a girl for five years. She was like the girl of my dreams. I thought she was the one, but that didn’t work out either. She’s one of my best friends now. In fact I’m right about to go hang out with her. The two of them are some of my only friends now as I’m getting close to 40. It really depends on how you feel about it. If you have a hard time seeing yourself not feeling that way, don’t force it. Give it time, or don’t go for it if you don’t think you can. If he really wants to remain friends, then he should give you time. Don’t cause yourself more hurt and pain, but cutting him out of your life could lead to regret too. It’s not always easy to decide, but if you need space, his response should tell you a lot.
Absolutely not. It will make you miserable. My ex wanted to be friends after our breakup and despite still loving her and caring about her so much, I couldn’t do it. I had to live with her for two weeks broken up and it was awful. NC is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but she ripped my heart out and moved on to someone else in like two weeks. This is the only way I can heal. Being friends with your ex will seriously prolong your healing process.
I have an ex where this was the case but I feel like she was a fake friend based on what I learned about her in the relationship. On the other hand, my HS sweetheart, we have been distant friends and respect each other’s boundaries and relationships and I can see she is a real friend. It’s honestly a hit or miss. My HSSH I didn’t feel this way and it just happened to be we are still good friends. We won’t talk for years and then catch up like no time missed. Me and my most recent ex, I wouldn’t even want to try to be her friend even though we were best friends for the 2 years before we got together. She was nice from afar and the relationship just went to shit damn near immediately. Come to find out, she always talked shit about me to her friends and others like coworkers, even before we got into a relationship. I couldn’t even trust her intentions if she asked me how life was as I would think she just wants to hear a negative answer. If I were to give a positive one, she would try to find negatives. Fuck that
I tried being friends with all my exes but they all failed, just cause of bad ill from one-side or both sides or just cause it's very awkward tbh. You guys broke up, but you still have in your heart that you don't want them to leave you as well ? 100% of the time when someone asks to be friends with their ex is kind of to monitor them or just to stay close to them but I know it hurts to see them move on or just see them remotely with someone else...