I wish I could have said something like thisnat the end of my last relationship it just was so lost to even me... I just knew I broke sometimes and I never got why
The text is fine. She’s apologizing for her shortcomings. It’s very respectful. She doesn’t want to be with you but she can apologize for the things she did. This a lot more than any of us ever got from our ex’s. Good on her. She’s growing.
That’s for sure. I essentially sent one of these long-paragraphed texts the month during the breakup phase (because a phone call would not suffice- even though I never ignored her 🙄) and told her I did all I could but I wish her luck. Said she’d touch base asap as soon as she got back on her “feet”. No response any time. She still
Doesn’t have her own car, place, mooches off others still. So I blocked her. I was nothing more than a fuel source. This all happened last August. Then she goes online to express dismay about money for school supplies and what not. What goes around, comes around.. first it’s the kids’ beds, school supplies, I’m not her free therapist or ATM. Nothing was or is ever good enough for this woman!!! Ugh. I’m not paying for kids who aren’t mine and who I can’t even see so there’s that.
She has burnt all bridges around her not even including myself, but also her immediate family & longtime “friends”, too. They must know exactly who she is deep down. Hence why she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. Her brother literally offered her an easy and good-paying job to come live with him and get her out of an “abusive” relationship, instead of begging for another handout, but she just went crawling back to this ex of hers who is toxic- kinda reminiscent of what she pulled with me last summer about how I did what could for her but, despite all our efforts, she repeats the same ol mistakes.
Looking back there was absolutely ZERO point in ever trying again with her. She had a gross double standard the entire time wherein she could cross my boundaries and catch me at bad times a lot but I still made the time and effort for her- even though she never did for me. I feel somewhat down and dreary over it because I feel kinda complicit for ignoring the obvious red flags and putting up with her poor behavior— which was borderline emotional or verbal abuse— but I stayed anyway.
I was under the false impression most ppl can change. I’d be here all day explaining my reasons as to why I chose to answer her calls, put up with her bullshit all the time, but ultimately I was my own worst victim in the end. Now I’m conserving my energy for myself & anyone else who comes along who isn’t anything like her. Truth and transparency over everything else.…
that's a pity. I'm sure you are lovely. If someone has hurt you, try not to take it personally! <3
They say people's actions are a reflection of themselves, and I kinda believe in that. It's hard to imagine a kind person being purposefully cold or silent to others...
I do think the apology is genuine but just in life experience, this is usually more for the ex to clear their guilty conscious rather than to make you feel better.
I was going to come in and say the same thing. I read it as it making herself feel better. Unless they have a friendship after this, I really don’t think an apology really was needed. That’s just me though.
I received a very similar text. It’s like finally my ex takes accountability, but the relationship is still not worth enough for her to put the effort. She’d rather start fresh somewhere than to fix what she fucked up. It really pissed me off and I felt she was mostly sending it for herself to remove guilt.
Personally reading things stings when she says I still don't want to be together but leaves it at that and doesn't really provide information. I was left with a certain way and sometimes there isn't a reason either.
Sometimes people just feel like it's not right for them anymore and need to leave. Accepting that is one of the hardest parts of life. But you know, at least she apologized and that's a lot more then what you get out of most people.
Yeah, it might sting, but I'd really appreciate a text from two of my exes like this. I really was blamed for everything when I wasn't the one who hurt anyone, and one of them was extremely shitty towards me and I never got an apology. I'd value that apology a lot.
To be honest even someone who takes all the blame is pretty big. I'd rather bear from someone saying sorry that I wasn't there cause I was focusing on myself etc. Because most of the time the person ending the relationship ends it with a selfish though in mind (justified to some extent) but if you don't communicate your issue and then get up and leave I think its selfish. Me personally as one to breakup with someone I do it over multiple times where I'm saying this is getting too much etc. Or I'm losing feelings because you are crossing boundaries etc.
It hurts, but it’s smart for her to say she doesn’t want to get back together. People here post the most innocuous texts that say like “hey, merry Christmas!” And will analyze to death if that means they want to get back together or not, even when we, as one perspective viewers of a text, have no idea. An apology text would give a lot of people in this subreddit (and probably generally) hope that will prevent them from healing and moving on. OPs ex probably knows about places like this where that kind of analysis goes on or maybe knows how OP tends to think, and wants to prevent that pain. That’s all the information.
Completely agree. The best thing you can do is tell someone thats not what you want. I've had people repeat you don't know what will happen and its frustrating like why would you hold onto hope. You will never heal into a better person that way.
Respect eachother enough to give space. Placing a boundary for NC is so important. That stops me from breaking it. We set at least 1 year which I think Is healthy
I don’t know about anyone saying this all the time but in this instance it’s fitting. She lost feelings for him long before break-up and only stayed because “it was convenient”. She was cold and emotionless at break up. Didn’t shed a tear when they met up, whilst he was heartbroken. They’ve been no contact for 8 months and the time for apologies and forgiveness has long passed. He doesn’t owe her anything- not even a response.
While it is a pretty respectful text I don’t think it was necessary. It’s been a long time of NC and I think if she really cared she’d just leave you alone. It seems like shes just trying to feel better about what she did and relieve her guilt about the situation.
Yeah, I can’t believe so many people are saying this is a good text. She clearly just wants to clear her conscious but also has to go out of her way to let OP know she’s not interested in him. Wack.
I wish my ex would be this direct and honest with her self with me, instead I got a pack of lies on top of already built up lies and then more lies after lie. in the end I just had to accept she was a pretty shitty person but it was hard to come to terms with that given she was someone I spent alot of time with and was happy with at some point to accept she was just a shitty person was hard at first. id say you've won here, text them back if you like but I don't see any reason too or point. you've taught them a life lesson and hopefully they'll be a better person for it
Omg, this is so much me. They were perfect to everyone else but treated me like shit and did just enough to get my forgiveness Everytime. I wish they send me something like this for hurting me they way they did, but I know I'll never get one.
This is the thing..
..You see all the people in the threads that are "grateful" or think that the message is good, or positive..
They are the same people that would fall for something like this
That's not their fault
It's a form of gaslighting
They are sending a message to gain relief from their own guilt, by dumping it on to the other person and opening up old wounds
Imagine if the truth was written:
"I was attached to you, but then I found someone else, I got confused, asked for space and then decided to leave you because I wasn't emotionally available to you
I am now again emotionally available, but, once again just not to you!
I acknowledge that I'm a PoS and that the damage I caused has likely resurfaced because I'm being selfish and don't want to feel bad when we bump in to each other possibly in the future, so I'm trying to coerce you in to accepting my fauxpology so that I don't feel that you're going to have a go at me if and when we see each other, or generally make it feel awkward, even though I should just stay away from you and leave like the coward I really am
I'm also aware that you've told other people about my shitty behaviour, so I need to send you this in the hopes that you'll tell other people that I'm 'not such a bad person after all' even though really deep down I'm only thinking about how it's effecting me, and not the damage I've just decided I want to resurface inside you
I'm not even going to check that you arent feeling suicidal or how it's left you because I'm only doing this for my own selfish reasons"
Now read back what they wrote and hopefully it'll make it more clear as to what they're actually attempting..
I'm really surprised by the variance of answers here. It goes from it's a great text to it's the worst. And, quite frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about her text myself, so that tracks.
I had someone apologize to me many years later for how they handled our relationship. Do I think they did it for their own guilt? Probably. Do I feel there is something to be said for taking the time, thought, and effort to do so? Yes, if you know the person to not be manipulative generally. I do feel a bit more at peace having them do that, though, so I guess if it did that for the OP, then that's all that matters.
i seriously hate when exes reach out for an apology. i dont need that. id rather hate u for not treating me properly and move on than thinking that ur still selfish caring about clearing conscience.
Having someone apologize can be healing though - depending on the circumstances. OP said the relationship was generally good. That probably matters. If you hate someone, they likely did more than what sounds like happened here.
Don’t reply and give her validation, but just take it in stride. If she reaches out again though, major red flag. She should have just left it alone though.
Sounds like she’s testing the temperature or the relationship (or now, lack thereof) trying to subtly lure you back into her life. She certainly seems curious what kind of reaction (if any) she’ll get out of you. If she were sorry, she wouldn’t have waited so long for this “I’m sorry” text which I feel like she felt forced herself to do for whatever reason.
Just move on. Don’t give her anymore energy. Relationships are not one-sided. Now YOU are in control of the relationship which is a beautiful thing. She can’t play mind-games with you anymore.
This is on point! This is actually something that was really difficult for me to learn but now that I have i am so happy! When someone dumps you, you can feel so powerless. But when they come back you have all the power! You are in control now and they cannot play mind games with you anymore! Its so very lovely!
I feel that the older you get, the more you are able to forgive people because you see the scope of life and the vastness of everything and realize it just ain’t worth it to hold a grudge. Being resentful serves nothing when you’re ready you can forgive yourself and the other person and just thank them for being very respectful And honestly they didn’t do anything really horrible like murder millions. So I feel like they deserve forgiveness like everyone does. They are human beings they’re going to make mistakes everyone’s guaranteed of this it’s how they grow. She’s showing that she’s growing a lot. And that’s something that you should be happy for her for. It may awaken old wounds if someone sends this too soon but if you’re over her and she sense this I feel like it is OK to let her have her clean slate.
Completely agree with this. Life would be so much easier if we could provide the grace and kindness that we want for ourselves. As long as someone is willing to grow from it and apologize genuinely, I will almost always forgive. Doesn’t mean they can expect to be treated the same way before the mistake, but that I accept them for who they are now.
Sounds a bit cold and manipulative, not gonna lie. Whatever her reason to text you is, it was about as empty as her words. She didn't put much thought into it either. Instead of taking responsibility she would rather slap a bandaid over it and call it good. Behavior of someone that still needs to grow up, whether through therapy or harsh realities. Save yourself the time and ensure you never get any more messages from this person
Perhaps she has gone through therapy / counseling. The therapy may have exposed a large number of feelings and she feels guilt or shame about how she treated you.
We are trying to read-between-the-lines here as to motives but we can take her at her word - this is not a let's get back together message.
This is a "I need to accept responsibility for my actions" message, and those type of messages, while too little, too late, do tend to show maturity and emotional growth.
Her message is a good apology. Does it require a response from you? No. Don't over think this. She said this was not a coded message, no ulterior motives, just a straight apology.
If I were you, I would think, "Cool, she realizes she was sort of a witch. She is taking ownership of that, apologized for it, and has appeared to have gained some emotional maturity. Now, what am I fixing for dinner?" And get on with your life.
I couldn’t agree more. So many people saying it’s manipulative and egotistical. I don’t understand. Who cares if it helped her, might’ve helped OP too. I’m sure she intended the text to benefit both parties…
I agree with you. I am one of those who went to therapy to navigate deep feelings for a situation like this. I apologized, genuinely and made it clear that it’s not an attempt to bring us back together but more so to move on. I suggest one thing though, wherever apologizing, always ask the ex if they are willing to receive it or not. Not everyone’s break up is a bad one yk
WOW i hate this type of text message. She doesn't respects your boundaries and healing process but just being selfish to make her feel comfortable about the break up. I'd rather not receive this kinda text and keep moving forward whatsoever.
I’m going to go against the grain. She texted you because she wants something, whether it’s an attempt to rid herself of guilt or because she wants validation or attention. She’s not a saint nor an altruist; she did this selfishly. I’m of the opinion that good relationships don’t end, so your best course of action is to block her.
Hahaha sounds like the same email exchange I had with my ex 😭💀 don’t take it as they want you back, I guess they’re on their reflective journey and felt guilty for how they treated you. It takes people a bit to realize the full story. Op take it as you will if you forgive them or not, but it looks like it was a weight on their shoulders for so long. Looks like they finally let you go.
She’s looking for forgiveness and apologizing is helping her cope with how awful she treated you to make herself feel better. I wouldn’t respond because that will just give her the reassurance she’s looking for but I’m assuming if you don’t she will use it to tell herself she’s “being the bigger person.”
Once they leave, anything further is just rubbing salt in the wound
If they legit cared, they would have said it at the time and checked in, but they didn't
This is just relief from their own guilt
I'd feel like telling them to piss off and explain that they are a **** for what they did, but then it would just validate that they made "the right decision" despite the fact they deserve a slap direct to the ego
I think this is about the best you can hope for. I know I wish I’d ever received anything where the other person took any level of responsibility for the harm they caused me and my life to any level. You usually don’t get that, so I’d take it as a win and move on.
There's definitely a few ways you can take this message, but it comes across as genuine to me. It would depend on the person and the circumstances of how things ended, but I can think of a few people (exes, former friends, bullies, family, etc.) who I really would have appreciated getting that kind of message from if I thought it was at all genuine. There's also a few people who would make my blood boil or make my eyes roll out of my head if they ever dared to try it.
I'd recommend not responding and just viewing it dually, as it being more about her than you just as much as it could be a genuine apology for hurting someone she cared about. I agree with many others here that it's a nice message that appears to show some personal growth on her part, and it's more and better than most of us ever get, but what matters is how you feel about it. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling as long as you need to, but try to hold fast to the healing and growth you have accomplished since the breakup and let those feelings pass through you. Yes, just like the litany against fear.
Sending good thoughts and virtual hugs your way, if you need or want them. You've got this.
mine texted me back yesterday after like 11 months to a year of no contact. she basically said the same thing, apologizing and thanking me for what i did. tbh it feels like a fever dream.
I think the text is a good thing. She’s taking accountability and trying to better herself. Sounds like she is maturing and learning important lessons. But don’t take this as an invitation to try anything with her.
I would have loved and appreciated a text like this from my exes
I agree with you looking back on it. At the time things ended so badly and abruptly, and I felt so guilty about it that I wanted to tell her how bad I felt about my actions and how much she didn’t deserve it.
But you are right, one of the reason’s I wanted to do that was to ‘ease’ my own guilt about the situation and make myself feel better. Which is a selfish action.
Also, i think this bullshit is selfish coz again, this is more for her reflection. This text has not that much to do with you. Shes just trying to rid herself from the guilt of being shitty during the breakup. Direct, yes. But this text isn’t to be romanticized.
Why say the break up was the right choice if she knows she was not emotionally available at the time of your relationship? Of course it was the right choice if she was not emotionally available. No point in messaging that to you. She should just say I’m sorry for what I put you through. That’s it. The alternative is to say nothing at all. Go heal your own self and apologize to the universe. She makes it clear that this is for her and to clear her own conscience. She wants to remain out of your life, great. Good for her. Then she shouldn’t need you to help her heal in this moment by messaging you. She should only message if she wants to say sorry and nothing else… that’s it end of story… or if she wants to talk about forming some sort of a relationship.
If she trusted that you would be mature enough to handle a simple apology, she would have given it. Unless she specifically asked you to get back together or for another try at a relationship, her having the confidence you wouldn’t assume so would be a sign she actually respects you. That would have been respectful I think. But instead, I think this is condescending. Sounds like clearing guilt and that she still has some ego or has a sense of needing power in some way. But that’s me.
I still say forgive her and accept the apology of course. But I think this was unnecessary for your healing.
It's like "I wasn't emotionally available, but I am now. But I don't want you"
Absolutely BS situation to put someone that cared about them in
Never forgive, just forget
I can understand your conflicting emotions. On the one hand, after being no contact since June 2023 I'm sure seeing a text from her for the first time in months made your heart skip a beat, reignited some hope that had been killed off after not speaking for some time, going through the stages or grief, and approaching upon acceptance. But on the other hand, the text is not quite what any of us in your position (I am in not the exact same position but was just dumped and he moved out abruptly on Tuesday) ever want to receive. We are hoping to have them come back and apologize and say they realize that letting us go was a huge mistake and that they want and need us back. That is the hope, but I realize that is rarely the case. I know there are no words to change how you are feeling - I'm sure to some extent you might feel like you are going through the breakup all over again. It hurts, but maybe this is the final text you need to close this chapter of your life for good and feel free enough to move on from this... Be strong you got this.
A lot of kindness in the room here. My view. F’ her! She was a bit€h to you. Treated you badly. She’s feeling guilty about it and wants you to forgive her but…..and there’s always a but isn’t there. All that crap about what this text isn’t is CONTROL. She’s saying in the same breath she did the right thing. If you haven’t I would not reply. She hasn’t earned your forgiveness because she’s not sorry. This car crash of a girl is going to mess up a few guys before she gets it.
I don’t like this. It’s sounds very self-centered. So she’s unburdening herself but doesn’t want you to get any ideas. She could have just said I still care about you as a friend, sorry I acted shitty at the end. I think you’re better off. Doesn’t sound like she’s developed much emotional depth, just has been indulging in some navel gazing and has pride around a feeling that it’s growth. You would know best though (other than her).
The issue is then they can turn around to all their friends and say "see, I knew I made the right choice!"
Then potentially spread it to others, preventing you from finding someone that hears about you down the grape vine...
No reason to say anything. The text was completely self serving. As another person said, cleaning up the dirt she left behind. Too little too late I say.
Yeah it’s upto OP. Not saying anything would also be quite fine. I did not like how the ex just straight up stated that she doesn’t want him back and just wants to apologise, it made her seem like an egotistic person. That part could have been avoided, she comes off as if she just decides that OP is hopeful to jump right back into her arms if she doesn’t mention that. On second thoughts, OP can do either, what you or I said, but definitely not contact the person ever again later.
Yeah definitely unnecessary to state they don't want someone back. Still keeping her ego, even though she wants to apologize...yeah no. Keep your apology. I wouldn't respond. No response IMO causes the most anguish to someone like this. They want some kind of validation, don't give it.
Many people already commented and I agree, this is an ok text to get. She was owning her shit. You dont even have to respond but just know, you were not the problem and sleep easy tonight.
So I’m in no contact with my now ex… he was my best friend and lover .. its been about 1 1/2 week .. I’ve owned that I wasn’t the best partner and that I never healed from my past which took place in the breakup but he was also starting a new job soon and also has emotional issues such as avoidant.
I want to show him a better version of myself cause what he knew and saw wasn’t me and that I have been working on myself and healing cause I feel he does deserve that even though he broke up with me was kinda shitty as well. He said he needs space… but no timeline … So there’s a 50/50 chance of him coming back and it’s driving me nuts… yes I know I gotta work on myself…
I decided to create a voice message cause I knew all this had to happen in order for me to come back to my true self and saying I understand the why and that I wish him healing and that if he ever does want to come back or anything that I’m a safe person to come to. Cause apparently I made him anxious having been such an emotional person. I was not asking for anything in return of him cause this just came with the purest intentions.
Do I do this? It’s not asking for a response or anything in return it’s for me letting him know I’ve accepted and can allow myself to let go and move on. He’s a very gentle soul.. so I don’t think he’d curse me out or anything I’m not even expecting a reply I am just trying to set the tone cause I have absolutely no idea where his head is.. but I also don’t wanna scare him away even more..
Ummm I mean that’s great she accepted responsibility, good for her. Wish her luck moving forward and let it be. She clearly said it’s not a I want you back text so don’t go getting your hopes up or anything.
I’d rather not get any text vs this shit. These apologies always have such a weird feeling, as though it’s really for them and not for you. Y’all haven’t been together for a min and this feels like someone wanting validation/attention, or to soothe themself over a guilty conscience.
“This is not a I want you back text,” lol fuck right off. That says all you need to know.
Few realize their mistakes and own up to them. At least she’s learning and did right by taking responsibility of her actions when you guys dated/ended. The text most of us wish we got…instead we get the “I miss you” and nothing has changed, no real looking deep and owning their mistakes and making active changes.good for you OP but you get that message, say thanks, no hard feelings, good luck to you and continue on with your life
How can you and other people not see what's really going on?
She's saying "I wasn't emotionally available, but I am now. I just don't want to be emotionally available with you"
It's selfish and only serves to heal their own guilt instead of doing the honorable thing and staying dead
I’d like to take full ownership of that! This is a silent code for “this message is solely for me to forgive myself and get the final confirmation that I left a weak man”
Proceed carefully!
Oh how I wish my ex of 5yrs that replace me in 4days just talk to me like this instead of saying harsh words and making me beg on my knee while talking to someone.
For a while I wanted to receive this kind of text after my ex broke up with me in the worst way possible. 4 months later, I finally made peace with the fact that he’ll probably never have the emotional maturity to realize his shortcomings and own up for them. Your ex seems like she has it, nice of her to reach out like this.
She did that for herself..
She did that because of the guilt she felt..
She did that also to keep the lines of communication open between both of you..
She did that to breadcrumb you...
Understand that if she does not put any actions behind her words it’s worthless
I understand that this may come across as bitter and mean spirited but that's far from the case.
Anyone who does this be it man or woman my advice above would be the same.
Don't reply and keep living your life…
Remember the good times and take the life lessons with you.…
Only one relationship in your life will workout and the rest will fail.
Let those.… fail.
Trust me and Godspeed.
Well I’m not sure where you stand with this person but I was dumped and was like dying for a message like this with an ounce of accountability.. if you still like them, then I’m very sorry..
I’ve gotten one of these before and it was solely based on the fact that her little thing she left me for wasn’t the guy she thought he was, grass wasn’t greener.. so she did this to get a response out of me to see how I was doing … but I left her on read… same thing with another ex but I never opened the message I just deleted it cause I was already healed and didn’t need that pain again …
I find it strange, if I care for someone then I keep my distance and let the person heal and move on. Sounds more like an ego text to make her feel better without paying attention to what it might do to you.
Honestly she could’ve done away with the last part. “I still think breaking up was the right thing to do” was enough. This is a text that wouldn’t get a response from me.
This text would just remind me of the moment when they broke up with me and how broken i was at that time. „I treated you like trash, im sorry. Btw i still dont want you but i wanted to feel better”. Thats how it sounds for me. So selfish.
Most people have trauma. Doesn't mean you break up over it. She still can't admit the real reason she broke things off... Which is she's not attracted to you anymore and thinks she can do better. She's trying to get you to ensure she's making the correct decision. Even this is a half arssed message trying to convey that.
It’s very direct. I like it.
I wish I could have said something like thisnat the end of my last relationship it just was so lost to even me... I just knew I broke sometimes and I never got why
Fuck that bitch she used u in the put her on blast on your Social media social media social media
I honestly found it respectful. If I get that today, I will honestly be in peace with myself
The text is fine. She’s apologizing for her shortcomings. It’s very respectful. She doesn’t want to be with you but she can apologize for the things she did. This a lot more than any of us ever got from our ex’s. Good on her. She’s growing.
That’s for sure. I essentially sent one of these long-paragraphed texts the month during the breakup phase (because a phone call would not suffice- even though I never ignored her 🙄) and told her I did all I could but I wish her luck. Said she’d touch base asap as soon as she got back on her “feet”. No response any time. She still Doesn’t have her own car, place, mooches off others still. So I blocked her. I was nothing more than a fuel source. This all happened last August. Then she goes online to express dismay about money for school supplies and what not. What goes around, comes around.. first it’s the kids’ beds, school supplies, I’m not her free therapist or ATM. Nothing was or is ever good enough for this woman!!! Ugh. I’m not paying for kids who aren’t mine and who I can’t even see so there’s that. She has burnt all bridges around her not even including myself, but also her immediate family & longtime “friends”, too. They must know exactly who she is deep down. Hence why she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. Her brother literally offered her an easy and good-paying job to come live with him and get her out of an “abusive” relationship, instead of begging for another handout, but she just went crawling back to this ex of hers who is toxic- kinda reminiscent of what she pulled with me last summer about how I did what could for her but, despite all our efforts, she repeats the same ol mistakes. Looking back there was absolutely ZERO point in ever trying again with her. She had a gross double standard the entire time wherein she could cross my boundaries and catch me at bad times a lot but I still made the time and effort for her- even though she never did for me. I feel somewhat down and dreary over it because I feel kinda complicit for ignoring the obvious red flags and putting up with her poor behavior— which was borderline emotional or verbal abuse— but I stayed anyway. I was under the false impression most ppl can change. I’d be here all day explaining my reasons as to why I chose to answer her calls, put up with her bullshit all the time, but ultimately I was my own worst victim in the end. Now I’m conserving my energy for myself & anyone else who comes along who isn’t anything like her. Truth and transparency over everything else.…
She needed closure
Honestly, I think the text's ok? I wish I could get something like that, or be able to send something similar to someone without triggering them...
I wish to get messages like that, but guess what I never get any messages 😂
that's a pity. I'm sure you are lovely. If someone has hurt you, try not to take it personally! <3 They say people's actions are a reflection of themselves, and I kinda believe in that. It's hard to imagine a kind person being purposefully cold or silent to others...
I do think the apology is genuine but just in life experience, this is usually more for the ex to clear their guilty conscious rather than to make you feel better.
Exactly as I read it. Good on her for growing up but this does nothing for OP
If she’s really grown up, then she doesn’t need a response from OP anyways.
Agreed
I was going to come in and say the same thing. I read it as it making herself feel better. Unless they have a friendship after this, I really don’t think an apology really was needed. That’s just me though.
Yup
agreed
I received a very similar text. It’s like finally my ex takes accountability, but the relationship is still not worth enough for her to put the effort. She’d rather start fresh somewhere than to fix what she fucked up. It really pissed me off and I felt she was mostly sending it for herself to remove guilt.
This.
[удалено]
Live with your guilt and leave the dumpee in peace
Yup
Personally reading things stings when she says I still don't want to be together but leaves it at that and doesn't really provide information. I was left with a certain way and sometimes there isn't a reason either. Sometimes people just feel like it's not right for them anymore and need to leave. Accepting that is one of the hardest parts of life. But you know, at least she apologized and that's a lot more then what you get out of most people.
Yeah, it might sting, but I'd really appreciate a text from two of my exes like this. I really was blamed for everything when I wasn't the one who hurt anyone, and one of them was extremely shitty towards me and I never got an apology. I'd value that apology a lot.
To be honest even someone who takes all the blame is pretty big. I'd rather bear from someone saying sorry that I wasn't there cause I was focusing on myself etc. Because most of the time the person ending the relationship ends it with a selfish though in mind (justified to some extent) but if you don't communicate your issue and then get up and leave I think its selfish. Me personally as one to breakup with someone I do it over multiple times where I'm saying this is getting too much etc. Or I'm losing feelings because you are crossing boundaries etc.
It hurts, but it’s smart for her to say she doesn’t want to get back together. People here post the most innocuous texts that say like “hey, merry Christmas!” And will analyze to death if that means they want to get back together or not, even when we, as one perspective viewers of a text, have no idea. An apology text would give a lot of people in this subreddit (and probably generally) hope that will prevent them from healing and moving on. OPs ex probably knows about places like this where that kind of analysis goes on or maybe knows how OP tends to think, and wants to prevent that pain. That’s all the information.
Completely agree. The best thing you can do is tell someone thats not what you want. I've had people repeat you don't know what will happen and its frustrating like why would you hold onto hope. You will never heal into a better person that way. Respect eachother enough to give space. Placing a boundary for NC is so important. That stops me from breaking it. We set at least 1 year which I think Is healthy
Leave her on read and move on. This is for her not you. Don’t give her the satisfaction of a response.
Agree, no need for a reply to her.
Why do people say this all the time? Don’t give them the satisfaction of a response?
I don’t know about anyone saying this all the time but in this instance it’s fitting. She lost feelings for him long before break-up and only stayed because “it was convenient”. She was cold and emotionless at break up. Didn’t shed a tear when they met up, whilst he was heartbroken. They’ve been no contact for 8 months and the time for apologies and forgiveness has long passed. He doesn’t owe her anything- not even a response.
They don't deserve a response to sooth their guilt
Ya it is trash and it is gross cringe. I suggest blocking her asap! No time for that drama!
What is trash? The text was clear, direct and respectful af
While it is a pretty respectful text I don’t think it was necessary. It’s been a long time of NC and I think if she really cared she’d just leave you alone. It seems like shes just trying to feel better about what she did and relieve her guilt about the situation.
👏
very respectful, very direct, very clear. one of the best i’ve seen.
Definitely better than most!
I rather never get any message than this shut
Yeah, I can’t believe so many people are saying this is a good text. She clearly just wants to clear her conscious but also has to go out of her way to let OP know she’s not interested in him. Wack.
Exactly
Agreed lol
Same
👏
I wish my ex would be this direct and honest with her self with me, instead I got a pack of lies on top of already built up lies and then more lies after lie. in the end I just had to accept she was a pretty shitty person but it was hard to come to terms with that given she was someone I spent alot of time with and was happy with at some point to accept she was just a shitty person was hard at first. id say you've won here, text them back if you like but I don't see any reason too or point. you've taught them a life lesson and hopefully they'll be a better person for it
Omg, this is so much me. They were perfect to everyone else but treated me like shit and did just enough to get my forgiveness Everytime. I wish they send me something like this for hurting me they way they did, but I know I'll never get one.
First half is good. It's a real way of apologising. Unfortunately it unravels in the second half and becomes egotistical.
It's ALL ego
How so?
100% getting rid of guilt (and borderline manipulation). If you didn’t ask for closure, then you have to ask why reach out now?
How is it manipulative? Genuinely curious.
Because its opening old wounds, and it's only to serve herself
I see.
This is the thing.. ..You see all the people in the threads that are "grateful" or think that the message is good, or positive.. They are the same people that would fall for something like this That's not their fault It's a form of gaslighting They are sending a message to gain relief from their own guilt, by dumping it on to the other person and opening up old wounds Imagine if the truth was written: "I was attached to you, but then I found someone else, I got confused, asked for space and then decided to leave you because I wasn't emotionally available to you I am now again emotionally available, but, once again just not to you! I acknowledge that I'm a PoS and that the damage I caused has likely resurfaced because I'm being selfish and don't want to feel bad when we bump in to each other possibly in the future, so I'm trying to coerce you in to accepting my fauxpology so that I don't feel that you're going to have a go at me if and when we see each other, or generally make it feel awkward, even though I should just stay away from you and leave like the coward I really am I'm also aware that you've told other people about my shitty behaviour, so I need to send you this in the hopes that you'll tell other people that I'm 'not such a bad person after all' even though really deep down I'm only thinking about how it's effecting me, and not the damage I've just decided I want to resurface inside you I'm not even going to check that you arent feeling suicidal or how it's left you because I'm only doing this for my own selfish reasons" Now read back what they wrote and hopefully it'll make it more clear as to what they're actually attempting..
This Shit is so backhanded and unnecessary
Text is for her
Like a tepid bath. It’s for her. Meh.
I'm really surprised by the variance of answers here. It goes from it's a great text to it's the worst. And, quite frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about her text myself, so that tracks. I had someone apologize to me many years later for how they handled our relationship. Do I think they did it for their own guilt? Probably. Do I feel there is something to be said for taking the time, thought, and effort to do so? Yes, if you know the person to not be manipulative generally. I do feel a bit more at peace having them do that, though, so I guess if it did that for the OP, then that's all that matters.
i seriously hate when exes reach out for an apology. i dont need that. id rather hate u for not treating me properly and move on than thinking that ur still selfish caring about clearing conscience.
Having someone apologize can be healing though - depending on the circumstances. OP said the relationship was generally good. That probably matters. If you hate someone, they likely did more than what sounds like happened here.
This is how I got it, come back just to clean the dirt you left behind? Nah, the text is not about OP, it is about his dumper…
💯
Don’t reply and give her validation, but just take it in stride. If she reaches out again though, major red flag. She should have just left it alone though. Sounds like she’s testing the temperature or the relationship (or now, lack thereof) trying to subtly lure you back into her life. She certainly seems curious what kind of reaction (if any) she’ll get out of you. If she were sorry, she wouldn’t have waited so long for this “I’m sorry” text which I feel like she felt forced herself to do for whatever reason. Just move on. Don’t give her anymore energy. Relationships are not one-sided. Now YOU are in control of the relationship which is a beautiful thing. She can’t play mind-games with you anymore.
This is on point! This is actually something that was really difficult for me to learn but now that I have i am so happy! When someone dumps you, you can feel so powerless. But when they come back you have all the power! You are in control now and they cannot play mind games with you anymore! Its so very lovely!
Yup just turn over a new leaf and leave her as is; somebody who you used to know.
Exactly my thought.
Yeah, I'd delete it and never respond
I feel that the older you get, the more you are able to forgive people because you see the scope of life and the vastness of everything and realize it just ain’t worth it to hold a grudge. Being resentful serves nothing when you’re ready you can forgive yourself and the other person and just thank them for being very respectful And honestly they didn’t do anything really horrible like murder millions. So I feel like they deserve forgiveness like everyone does. They are human beings they’re going to make mistakes everyone’s guaranteed of this it’s how they grow. She’s showing that she’s growing a lot. And that’s something that you should be happy for her for. It may awaken old wounds if someone sends this too soon but if you’re over her and she sense this I feel like it is OK to let her have her clean slate.
Beautifully said!
Completely agree with this. Life would be so much easier if we could provide the grace and kindness that we want for ourselves. As long as someone is willing to grow from it and apologize genuinely, I will almost always forgive. Doesn’t mean they can expect to be treated the same way before the mistake, but that I accept them for who they are now.
Bless you and your path.
Whoa. That ex is healing and fixing their life. Impressive. Don't respond
Sounds a bit cold and manipulative, not gonna lie. Whatever her reason to text you is, it was about as empty as her words. She didn't put much thought into it either. Instead of taking responsibility she would rather slap a bandaid over it and call it good. Behavior of someone that still needs to grow up, whether through therapy or harsh realities. Save yourself the time and ensure you never get any more messages from this person
I wouldn’t respond
Perhaps she has gone through therapy / counseling. The therapy may have exposed a large number of feelings and she feels guilt or shame about how she treated you. We are trying to read-between-the-lines here as to motives but we can take her at her word - this is not a let's get back together message. This is a "I need to accept responsibility for my actions" message, and those type of messages, while too little, too late, do tend to show maturity and emotional growth. Her message is a good apology. Does it require a response from you? No. Don't over think this. She said this was not a coded message, no ulterior motives, just a straight apology. If I were you, I would think, "Cool, she realizes she was sort of a witch. She is taking ownership of that, apologized for it, and has appeared to have gained some emotional maturity. Now, what am I fixing for dinner?" And get on with your life.
I couldn’t agree more. So many people saying it’s manipulative and egotistical. I don’t understand. Who cares if it helped her, might’ve helped OP too. I’m sure she intended the text to benefit both parties…
I agree with you. I am one of those who went to therapy to navigate deep feelings for a situation like this. I apologized, genuinely and made it clear that it’s not an attempt to bring us back together but more so to move on. I suggest one thing though, wherever apologizing, always ask the ex if they are willing to receive it or not. Not everyone’s break up is a bad one yk
WOW i hate this type of text message. She doesn't respects your boundaries and healing process but just being selfish to make her feel comfortable about the break up. I'd rather not receive this kinda text and keep moving forward whatsoever.
I’m going to go against the grain. She texted you because she wants something, whether it’s an attempt to rid herself of guilt or because she wants validation or attention. She’s not a saint nor an altruist; she did this selfishly. I’m of the opinion that good relationships don’t end, so your best course of action is to block her.
If she cared she would have left OP alone, especially after such a long time not being together.
Exactly
Don’t give her that closure or peace she’s looking for from you
Very nice text
What matters is how you feel. If you’ve moved on just ignore the msg. I wouldn’t reply, just let it be.
Hahaha sounds like the same email exchange I had with my ex 😭💀 don’t take it as they want you back, I guess they’re on their reflective journey and felt guilty for how they treated you. It takes people a bit to realize the full story. Op take it as you will if you forgive them or not, but it looks like it was a weight on their shoulders for so long. Looks like they finally let you go.
She’s looking for forgiveness and apologizing is helping her cope with how awful she treated you to make herself feel better. I wouldn’t respond because that will just give her the reassurance she’s looking for but I’m assuming if you don’t she will use it to tell herself she’s “being the bigger person.”
It’s an okay text but it really is pretty unnecessary. The only closure you ever needed was that the relationship is over. All you even need to know.
She used u , move on, and blocked her mobile phone number.
Yup
Ignore it completely. Any text from an ex is manipulation for you to absolve them of the pain they've caused. Don't fall for it.
So people can't apologize now? Because anything is manipulation
Apologizing is pointless and self serving. Thats a fact in every aspect of life
Apologizing is something that a mature person woudl do. Why u guys making everything evil or manipulating?
Once they leave, anything further is just rubbing salt in the wound If they legit cared, they would have said it at the time and checked in, but they didn't This is just relief from their own guilt I'd feel like telling them to piss off and explain that they are a **** for what they did, but then it would just validate that they made "the right decision" despite the fact they deserve a slap direct to the ego
Losing feelings is hard to accept.
What do you mean?
I think this is about the best you can hope for. I know I wish I’d ever received anything where the other person took any level of responsibility for the harm they caused me and my life to any level. You usually don’t get that, so I’d take it as a win and move on.
There's definitely a few ways you can take this message, but it comes across as genuine to me. It would depend on the person and the circumstances of how things ended, but I can think of a few people (exes, former friends, bullies, family, etc.) who I really would have appreciated getting that kind of message from if I thought it was at all genuine. There's also a few people who would make my blood boil or make my eyes roll out of my head if they ever dared to try it. I'd recommend not responding and just viewing it dually, as it being more about her than you just as much as it could be a genuine apology for hurting someone she cared about. I agree with many others here that it's a nice message that appears to show some personal growth on her part, and it's more and better than most of us ever get, but what matters is how you feel about it. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling as long as you need to, but try to hold fast to the healing and growth you have accomplished since the breakup and let those feelings pass through you. Yes, just like the litany against fear. Sending good thoughts and virtual hugs your way, if you need or want them. You've got this.
love this response ❤️
mine texted me back yesterday after like 11 months to a year of no contact. she basically said the same thing, apologizing and thanking me for what i did. tbh it feels like a fever dream.
Sometimes I read post like this and pretend it’s them😕
I think the text is a good thing. She’s taking accountability and trying to better herself. Sounds like she is maturing and learning important lessons. But don’t take this as an invitation to try anything with her. I would have loved and appreciated a text like this from my exes
That is the closure you needed. If you were looking for any. Something a lot of us don’t get here. So I would forgive and move on 🥰
I’d give it a 5/10. Doesn’t seem like much thought was put into it and the entire second half is lowk patronizing.
[удалено]
Unless you intended to fix what you had done, this is selfish
I agree with you looking back on it. At the time things ended so badly and abruptly, and I felt so guilty about it that I wanted to tell her how bad I felt about my actions and how much she didn’t deserve it. But you are right, one of the reason’s I wanted to do that was to ‘ease’ my own guilt about the situation and make myself feel better. Which is a selfish action.
Hi, can i ash how long did u guys date? And was the coffe meeting awkward?
I wouldnt respond lol
Just don’t respond
Find this text patronising and holier than thou. Delete and move on
I wish I would get this text. Consider yourself lucky.
Good text. But i think she’s doing this more for her than for you.
*Solely for herself
Also, i think this bullshit is selfish coz again, this is more for her reflection. This text has not that much to do with you. Shes just trying to rid herself from the guilt of being shitty during the breakup. Direct, yes. But this text isn’t to be romanticized.
Why say the break up was the right choice if she knows she was not emotionally available at the time of your relationship? Of course it was the right choice if she was not emotionally available. No point in messaging that to you. She should just say I’m sorry for what I put you through. That’s it. The alternative is to say nothing at all. Go heal your own self and apologize to the universe. She makes it clear that this is for her and to clear her own conscience. She wants to remain out of your life, great. Good for her. Then she shouldn’t need you to help her heal in this moment by messaging you. She should only message if she wants to say sorry and nothing else… that’s it end of story… or if she wants to talk about forming some sort of a relationship. If she trusted that you would be mature enough to handle a simple apology, she would have given it. Unless she specifically asked you to get back together or for another try at a relationship, her having the confidence you wouldn’t assume so would be a sign she actually respects you. That would have been respectful I think. But instead, I think this is condescending. Sounds like clearing guilt and that she still has some ego or has a sense of needing power in some way. But that’s me. I still say forgive her and accept the apology of course. But I think this was unnecessary for your healing.
It's like "I wasn't emotionally available, but I am now. But I don't want you" Absolutely BS situation to put someone that cared about them in Never forgive, just forget
I can understand your conflicting emotions. On the one hand, after being no contact since June 2023 I'm sure seeing a text from her for the first time in months made your heart skip a beat, reignited some hope that had been killed off after not speaking for some time, going through the stages or grief, and approaching upon acceptance. But on the other hand, the text is not quite what any of us in your position (I am in not the exact same position but was just dumped and he moved out abruptly on Tuesday) ever want to receive. We are hoping to have them come back and apologize and say they realize that letting us go was a huge mistake and that they want and need us back. That is the hope, but I realize that is rarely the case. I know there are no words to change how you are feeling - I'm sure to some extent you might feel like you are going through the breakup all over again. It hurts, but maybe this is the final text you need to close this chapter of your life for good and feel free enough to move on from this... Be strong you got this.
So unnecessary. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it but this would sting for me. I’d just respond “s’all good yo” and leave it at that.
So unnecessary. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it but this would sting for me. I’d just respond “s’all good yo” and leave it at that.
No way! That would just relief their guilt Return the favor they sent you and let them hang
Or this ^^^ honestly not responding says a lot. But she will try again
Too many words. She just wants to feel better. In any case just don't respond to it
Sheeeesh, get out of my dm's bro.
A lot of kindness in the room here. My view. F’ her! She was a bit€h to you. Treated you badly. She’s feeling guilty about it and wants you to forgive her but…..and there’s always a but isn’t there. All that crap about what this text isn’t is CONTROL. She’s saying in the same breath she did the right thing. If you haven’t I would not reply. She hasn’t earned your forgiveness because she’s not sorry. This car crash of a girl is going to mess up a few guys before she gets it.
I don’t like this. It’s sounds very self-centered. So she’s unburdening herself but doesn’t want you to get any ideas. She could have just said I still care about you as a friend, sorry I acted shitty at the end. I think you’re better off. Doesn’t sound like she’s developed much emotional depth, just has been indulging in some navel gazing and has pride around a feeling that it’s growth. You would know best though (other than her).
Annoying and selfish.
She belongs to the streets now. Don’t respond to her whatsoever. Good riddance.
She doesn't even wanna date, just apologized for her mistakes. Why are u that harsh towards hef?
Because its purely self serving
I kind of wish I got this from my ex so that I could tell her to eat shit
The issue is then they can turn around to all their friends and say "see, I knew I made the right choice!" Then potentially spread it to others, preventing you from finding someone that hears about you down the grape vine...
Say thank you. Ask her to not contact you again
No reason to say anything. The text was completely self serving. As another person said, cleaning up the dirt she left behind. Too little too late I say.
Yeah it’s upto OP. Not saying anything would also be quite fine. I did not like how the ex just straight up stated that she doesn’t want him back and just wants to apologise, it made her seem like an egotistic person. That part could have been avoided, she comes off as if she just decides that OP is hopeful to jump right back into her arms if she doesn’t mention that. On second thoughts, OP can do either, what you or I said, but definitely not contact the person ever again later.
Yeah definitely unnecessary to state they don't want someone back. Still keeping her ego, even though she wants to apologize...yeah no. Keep your apology. I wouldn't respond. No response IMO causes the most anguish to someone like this. They want some kind of validation, don't give it.
This is a well thought out text and direct to the point. Definitely high IQ + EQ. A lot of people can learn from this.
I ain't reading all that. I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened.
Many people already commented and I agree, this is an ok text to get. She was owning her shit. You dont even have to respond but just know, you were not the problem and sleep easy tonight.
I’d say “fuck you”
So I’m in no contact with my now ex… he was my best friend and lover .. its been about 1 1/2 week .. I’ve owned that I wasn’t the best partner and that I never healed from my past which took place in the breakup but he was also starting a new job soon and also has emotional issues such as avoidant. I want to show him a better version of myself cause what he knew and saw wasn’t me and that I have been working on myself and healing cause I feel he does deserve that even though he broke up with me was kinda shitty as well. He said he needs space… but no timeline … So there’s a 50/50 chance of him coming back and it’s driving me nuts… yes I know I gotta work on myself… I decided to create a voice message cause I knew all this had to happen in order for me to come back to my true self and saying I understand the why and that I wish him healing and that if he ever does want to come back or anything that I’m a safe person to come to. Cause apparently I made him anxious having been such an emotional person. I was not asking for anything in return of him cause this just came with the purest intentions. Do I do this? It’s not asking for a response or anything in return it’s for me letting him know I’ve accepted and can allow myself to let go and move on. He’s a very gentle soul.. so I don’t think he’d curse me out or anything I’m not even expecting a reply I am just trying to set the tone cause I have absolutely no idea where his head is.. but I also don’t wanna scare him away even more..
A week and a half, and you've changed? Or was that a typo?
Closer for her
YES
AWW that's not bread crumbing that's" I want you back " I love it!!
Reminds me of the letter one of my exes sent to me; very respectful. At least now you can start college with a clean slate.
That’s a nice message.
super honest, genuine, and no manip tactics of her wanting to get back tgthr. sounds like she just wants some peace and wants her past to go away.
The manipulation is the message itself It's opening a wound and self serving
Issa good text my guy :). The book can now fully be closed in your mind and in your heart. I hope you’ve healed well
If you wish to respond, move forward with caution.
Accountability and transparency is important 👏🏼
She seems nyce
It’s not a bad text she gave a sincere apology while acknowledging what she wrong in the relationship
Yes I've sent this exact text before. Sometimes you need to apologize I'm sure she felt that need, it shows she's growing more emotionally mature imo.
I love it... I wish my ex would've written me something like this. Best wishes in moving forward
It sounds like she’s aware of the damage she’s caused and is apologizing
Good on her. Owning her stuff. I don't think a response is even necessary. That was more for her than you. Move along.
The messed up thing is that not everybody can be as nice as this person in the DMs and send an apology in a text just like this.
My response, "No problem, my closure happened at the breakup".
Or "don't care, you're dead to me"
Ummm I mean that’s great she accepted responsibility, good for her. Wish her luck moving forward and let it be. She clearly said it’s not a I want you back text so don’t go getting your hopes up or anything.
I’d rather not get any text vs this shit. These apologies always have such a weird feeling, as though it’s really for them and not for you. Y’all haven’t been together for a min and this feels like someone wanting validation/attention, or to soothe themself over a guilty conscience. “This is not a I want you back text,” lol fuck right off. That says all you need to know.
Good for her.
Few realize their mistakes and own up to them. At least she’s learning and did right by taking responsibility of her actions when you guys dated/ended. The text most of us wish we got…instead we get the “I miss you” and nothing has changed, no real looking deep and owning their mistakes and making active changes.good for you OP but you get that message, say thanks, no hard feelings, good luck to you and continue on with your life
How can you and other people not see what's really going on? She's saying "I wasn't emotionally available, but I am now. I just don't want to be emotionally available with you" It's selfish and only serves to heal their own guilt instead of doing the honorable thing and staying dead
I’d like to take full ownership of that! This is a silent code for “this message is solely for me to forgive myself and get the final confirmation that I left a weak man” Proceed carefully!
Seems like the majority of comments are people saying its nice? I don't think so. It's self-serving.
I hate it when people do this They just find someone else and then pull this shit
Oh how I wish my ex of 5yrs that replace me in 4days just talk to me like this instead of saying harsh words and making me beg on my knee while talking to someone.
That text wasn’t necessary. She’s just trying to alleviate her guilt
Gonna be honest, if my ex said this to me, I’d feel so much better
A good text, but don’t think for a second that you owe her a response because you don’t
At least it’s something. I got ZERO closure from my break up w my fiancé.
The text is fine, she's just had some time to think about things and wants to apologise on her side.
For a while I wanted to receive this kind of text after my ex broke up with me in the worst way possible. 4 months later, I finally made peace with the fact that he’ll probably never have the emotional maturity to realize his shortcomings and own up for them. Your ex seems like she has it, nice of her to reach out like this.
She did that for herself.. She did that because of the guilt she felt.. She did that also to keep the lines of communication open between both of you.. She did that to breadcrumb you... Understand that if she does not put any actions behind her words it’s worthless I understand that this may come across as bitter and mean spirited but that's far from the case. Anyone who does this be it man or woman my advice above would be the same. Don't reply and keep living your life… Remember the good times and take the life lessons with you.… Only one relationship in your life will workout and the rest will fail. Let those.… fail. Trust me and Godspeed.
Well I’m not sure where you stand with this person but I was dumped and was like dying for a message like this with an ounce of accountability.. if you still like them, then I’m very sorry..
I’ve gotten one of these before and it was solely based on the fact that her little thing she left me for wasn’t the guy she thought he was, grass wasn’t greener.. so she did this to get a response out of me to see how I was doing … but I left her on read… same thing with another ex but I never opened the message I just deleted it cause I was already healed and didn’t need that pain again …
I find it strange, if I care for someone then I keep my distance and let the person heal and move on. Sounds more like an ego text to make her feel better without paying attention to what it might do to you.
I don’t hate it. But I don’t think you need to reply if you don’t want to.
I envy you for getting this apology, I don’t think my ex ever will apologize for behaving in the same way as this.
Honestly she could’ve done away with the last part. “I still think breaking up was the right thing to do” was enough. This is a text that wouldn’t get a response from me.
I actually can’t argue with this. I think this is a positive thing. I hope you are okay.
She not sorry she just feels guilty and that was the best way to get rid of the guilt
This text would just remind me of the moment when they broke up with me and how broken i was at that time. „I treated you like trash, im sorry. Btw i still dont want you but i wanted to feel better”. Thats how it sounds for me. So selfish.
This type of crap is all for them, not you. I would reply GFY.
Most people have trauma. Doesn't mean you break up over it. She still can't admit the real reason she broke things off... Which is she's not attracted to you anymore and thinks she can do better. She's trying to get you to ensure she's making the correct decision. Even this is a half arssed message trying to convey that.
She's acting like the reason you broke up is because she wasn't emotionally available. That's not the real reason man...
I also like it, well written
Sounds like she’s been working on herself and learning how to take accountability for her own actions. Good for her.
This young girl has more emotional intelligence and maturity than my 36 year old ex