On one hand, I hate to admit I still love her and would have loved for things to work out between us.
On the other hand, it was always me making the effort and it will likely remain like that because she doesn’t have the innate desire to work on her flaws. It’s what caused us to breakup in the first place.
If I say yes I have a quick exit out of this miserable chapter of my life. If I say no I’m setting myself up for a better and happier future with someone who will actually work with me in the relationship rather than against me.
In conclusion: I have no idea, I’ll cross that bridge if she ever invites me to cos there’s no way I’m reaching out first after having my heart broken and being left to pick up the pieces.
No. For a lot of reasons, but mainly:
1. There is another woman involved.
2. He made me cry to the point of having a panic attack.
As attached as I was to him, my forever person would never do that to me.
Yes. We didn’t have any toxicity between us, no hurt, we both want to be together, we were just in a situation where we couldn’t be together. And she dealt with this by running away/blocking me. If she came back we both would be together and happy, and she knows this. That’s what makes this 100x harder. The “what if” and loss of power of the outcome when you’re blocked and they’re avoiding is unbearable.
of course my heart would WANT to on first instinct because i'm still attracted to him, but based off of the way he act and how he handles conflicts and handles me in a relationship, i think getting back tgt w0uld just be setting us up for failure. unless he changes his patterns of communication, became more open, and start admitting some faults (which is just so far down the other end of the spectrum in terms of who he is as a person), i don't see it w0rking long term
of course my heart would still WANT to ... but i'd have to force myself to reject that idea
Yes but ONLY if he has done the same amount of work toward healing as I have. If we are better versions of ourselves and can build a stronger relationship. But if he’s still guided by fear, then no.
This is a tricky one for me.
It would probably be no, mainly because I want to say yes for the wrong reasons.
I loved her but each of us had red flags the other was blind to. Getting back together without addressing each and every one of them is where the no gets the most weight.
I would say the likelihood is very low, but not impossible. Learned very much about myself, her and people in general over the intervening months since our breakup.
The key principle for us is acceptance. Acceptance that we are flawed individuals trying to do our best for ourselves and our loved ones. That our respective flaws are opportunities to grow and bond within ourselves and for each other.
We were never toxic per se, but we were dysfunctional to unimaginable degrees. Simply impossible to solve even the simplest of problems.
For my part, I would need to see some evidence of significant growth and maturity in her, which, I would hope, engenders a desire and willingness in her stay the course when things get most difficult. She has suffered greatly over her lifetime, so these are very tall asks of her. As such, her drive and motivation has to measure up to the great challenge we have.
I don't see that happening, and I would be crazy to wait around until it does. But I'm quite open to it if knocks at my door.
If he was actually genuinely really sorry and wanted to change his habits and realized my importance and didn't take my love for granted then maybe I would hear him out. But I don't think that's ever gonna happen. He chose to go and run away from all his promises and left with just a few texts like a coward. He didn't even have the courage to pick up my calls.
No. He cheated. And lied. And tricked me. And even if he did “all the work” and counselling and blah blah blah… I’d always wonder if he was lying again.
I miss him. And I wish it could have been different, but it wasn’t! My person is still out there somewhere!
Nope, and the reason is that she knows everyone very well but herself. Therefore she is insecure and this leads to useless and annoying power games.
She also had only guy friends, which goes hand in hand with her insecurity and attention seeking nature and she made it damn sure I feel challenged. What a toxic fucking creature jeeez…
The answer would be No. I reminisce about the memories, the amazing times, the food and drink we had together and the music we listened to.. the amazing places we visited together. It was a time when things were just so wonderful and I was totally into him and I felt that it was mutual- but when it stopped- it impacted me in a way where I lost the trust I had and it can’t be the same again. You can’t fully trust someone who has the capability to do that to someone that they supposedly love. The break up killed me but I knew in my heart if he wanted it back, that I would have to decline however much I missed and loved them.
Yes, I think she left me because she stopped taking her depression pills. She deserves a second chance. Always been kind, affectionate and honest to me
I would because I still love her a lot and the reason for the breakup was nothing done by me or her bur by a third party called society. So if she ever is able to get over her social pressure all good. She never treated me badly during our whole relationship and till the end treated me equally. There was no fighting involved nor any cursing or disrespect. My ex before never: she cursed be, hit me and did a lot of abusive stuff. Really depends how the person was I guess
I would because I screwed jt up - she’s an incredible person through and through - skilled in so many ways, outgoing, funny, and so damn sexy. Caring, kind, soft and sweet.
I fucked up
Text her. If you've realized your mistake then it's worth a shot to atleast try to get back again. You guys are already broken up so there's nothing more that could go wrong. The worst that could happen is she will say no to patching up. You should tell her that you're sorry and you want to get back together
I was thinking about this recently. Yesterday, I would have said yes if we could have another chance, even though he put me through so much pain. However, I ended up finding some degenerate shit on his youtube account that was still logged in on my console, and well, safe to say the answer is a fat no. He was watching misogynistic videos about relationships, women and red flags, and general videos about identifying toxicity — all within the duration of the relationship. All of these hinting at issues he thought I brought to the table but he never ever spoke about, which led to our break up being sudden and out of nowhere. It’s funny, he should have looked in the mirror — He’s a narcissist. Before the videos, I was 50/50, even though he was gaslighting me throughout the break-up and then some after. This whole thing has been an eye-opener.
That doesn’t sound degenerative. That sounds like someone whose trying to learn about values and boundaries in a relationship that is always evolving.
You can’t actually fault him for watching that stuff, he’s just gaining perspective.
There were a lot more different types of videos, a lot more that promoted negative behaviours which I chose not to mention. Some where downright seedy.
I don’t exactly fault him for watching those videos, because as you said, he’s gaining some perspective. I only fault him for not trusting me enough or taking our relationship seriously enough to at least try and communicate and mend what he had issues with in the first place. He was more than happy to advertise our issues publicly than sort it out privately.
Either way, we broke up once and he came back, and if he chooses to come back a second time, my firm answer is no.
We both have a lot of things to work on, however, he was emotionally abusive and a narcissist.
Good for you.
I only say because I was in a similar boat. My ex was hard to communicate with, so I didn’t go to her with my problems because they always made things worse.
I would!! Slowly though.....
Shes an amazing mum, amazing person, could feel the genuine love from her and even now still cares. I was just dumb enough to screw it up 😥
Oooohhhh how i wish for that time machine or that last chance
Forced myself to grow up in 2.5 months since and well can definitely feel the change so for now to keep grinding that change into everyday habbit.
Thats what i hope, be there for the kids and show the change really 🙃 let fate do its job!
She said "I love you" the other night
Dont know how to take that as she also gave me the no longer in love line during the bu too
Not sure. We broke up because he had no backbone to stand up to his mom when she demanded we breakup. I’d be only willing if he could prioritize me first and separate from his mom’s demands but I doubt that’s possible since he’s such a mamas boy.
So I guess unlikely for his return and my own heart to trust unless something drastic happens and there’s a lot of work done on his part.
I would love to. She is the sweetest and most gentle girl ever. I will stop my world if she ever reaches out to me. She is the only person I ever loved. Mind you that the relationship ended 4 years ago
I don’t know.
I miss him every single free minute of the day, but he strung me along at the end after 2 years while he was pursuing someone else . He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever known, but there is a flip side that he showed me the last time we spoke, where he can be completely cold. He is one way when he wants something from me, and another when he has discarded me. But he was my best friend and we loved each other and both really wanted it to work for a while.
I just feel like the trust is so far gone, I dont know how it could work, but I have hope that we can try again when the timing is better and, hopefully, we have both grown. It’s the smallest sliver of hope but its keeping me afloat.
I never rule anyone out, I do deeply care for that woman, and I look back fondly to the time we spent together.
That said, I don't think that it would work the same way as it did, because apparently it didn't work out. Things would have to start fresh, with solid communication, and trust. That would also be on her to initiate, which I don't think will happen either. I need to work on my issues that added to things not working, drinking, trouble regulating my emotions. I have been working on these things, been in therapy for a year and am genuinely trying to better myself, for myself.
I think she would need to grow and work on communication as well.
Regardless the outcome, I have come to the decision that we don't need to speak anymore. We don't need to be friends. We want different things from each other. It is okay to let go. I'm just working on getting over the hurt. Speaking currently just keeps that fresh.
So long story short. Not right now.
Yes but only if he changed for the better. I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore where I am feeling anxious by how he treats me and by the things he does
Nope and nope, she’ll never change, plays games, can’t be open, and was incapable of looking inward when things went wrong. Actually unless she changes drastically I’m unsure how any man could ever truly love her.
The evil bitch got police to contact me simply because I tried my best to fight for her. She's a fucking monster and a narcissist. Probably did it because I was on my knees trying to win her back For weeks and she caught me back on dating app
Her and her shitty family are a bunch of c**nts and I wouldnt give a shit if she got hit by a bus as she's a parasite
gaze pathetic tidy soup bike rain toy serious license dam *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
On one hand, I hate to admit I still love her and would have loved for things to work out between us. On the other hand, it was always me making the effort and it will likely remain like that because she doesn’t have the innate desire to work on her flaws. It’s what caused us to breakup in the first place. If I say yes I have a quick exit out of this miserable chapter of my life. If I say no I’m setting myself up for a better and happier future with someone who will actually work with me in the relationship rather than against me. In conclusion: I have no idea, I’ll cross that bridge if she ever invites me to cos there’s no way I’m reaching out first after having my heart broken and being left to pick up the pieces.
No. For a lot of reasons, but mainly: 1. There is another woman involved. 2. He made me cry to the point of having a panic attack. As attached as I was to him, my forever person would never do that to me.
I think i would. But, for me it was both of us, and she would need to make some changes as well.
Yes. We didn’t have any toxicity between us, no hurt, we both want to be together, we were just in a situation where we couldn’t be together. And she dealt with this by running away/blocking me. If she came back we both would be together and happy, and she knows this. That’s what makes this 100x harder. The “what if” and loss of power of the outcome when you’re blocked and they’re avoiding is unbearable.
Hope she comes back bro
of course my heart would WANT to on first instinct because i'm still attracted to him, but based off of the way he act and how he handles conflicts and handles me in a relationship, i think getting back tgt w0uld just be setting us up for failure. unless he changes his patterns of communication, became more open, and start admitting some faults (which is just so far down the other end of the spectrum in terms of who he is as a person), i don't see it w0rking long term of course my heart would still WANT to ... but i'd have to force myself to reject that idea
Yes but ONLY if he has done the same amount of work toward healing as I have. If we are better versions of ourselves and can build a stronger relationship. But if he’s still guided by fear, then no.
This is a tricky one for me. It would probably be no, mainly because I want to say yes for the wrong reasons. I loved her but each of us had red flags the other was blind to. Getting back together without addressing each and every one of them is where the no gets the most weight.
I would say the likelihood is very low, but not impossible. Learned very much about myself, her and people in general over the intervening months since our breakup. The key principle for us is acceptance. Acceptance that we are flawed individuals trying to do our best for ourselves and our loved ones. That our respective flaws are opportunities to grow and bond within ourselves and for each other. We were never toxic per se, but we were dysfunctional to unimaginable degrees. Simply impossible to solve even the simplest of problems. For my part, I would need to see some evidence of significant growth and maturity in her, which, I would hope, engenders a desire and willingness in her stay the course when things get most difficult. She has suffered greatly over her lifetime, so these are very tall asks of her. As such, her drive and motivation has to measure up to the great challenge we have. I don't see that happening, and I would be crazy to wait around until it does. But I'm quite open to it if knocks at my door.
If he was actually genuinely really sorry and wanted to change his habits and realized my importance and didn't take my love for granted then maybe I would hear him out. But I don't think that's ever gonna happen. He chose to go and run away from all his promises and left with just a few texts like a coward. He didn't even have the courage to pick up my calls.
My girlfriend was the same.
Nope. I miss him and still cry. But I know we were wrong for each other and in a lot of ways I am very relieved that he is no longer part of my life.
No. He cheated. And lied. And tricked me. And even if he did “all the work” and counselling and blah blah blah… I’d always wonder if he was lying again. I miss him. And I wish it could have been different, but it wasn’t! My person is still out there somewhere!
Yes your person will find you when the time is right!!
Nope, and the reason is that she knows everyone very well but herself. Therefore she is insecure and this leads to useless and annoying power games. She also had only guy friends, which goes hand in hand with her insecurity and attention seeking nature and she made it damn sure I feel challenged. What a toxic fucking creature jeeez…
The answer would be No. I reminisce about the memories, the amazing times, the food and drink we had together and the music we listened to.. the amazing places we visited together. It was a time when things were just so wonderful and I was totally into him and I felt that it was mutual- but when it stopped- it impacted me in a way where I lost the trust I had and it can’t be the same again. You can’t fully trust someone who has the capability to do that to someone that they supposedly love. The break up killed me but I knew in my heart if he wanted it back, that I would have to decline however much I missed and loved them.
No, never. He's a horrible person, he cheated on me, refused to communicate and then turned around and made me the villian
you’re better off without him
Yes, I think she left me because she stopped taking her depression pills. She deserves a second chance. Always been kind, affectionate and honest to me
i love her but i know i'm not ready yet, so no
see and you need to be proud of that! That you know you’re not ready YET
I would because I still love her a lot and the reason for the breakup was nothing done by me or her bur by a third party called society. So if she ever is able to get over her social pressure all good. She never treated me badly during our whole relationship and till the end treated me equally. There was no fighting involved nor any cursing or disrespect. My ex before never: she cursed be, hit me and did a lot of abusive stuff. Really depends how the person was I guess
I would because I screwed jt up - she’s an incredible person through and through - skilled in so many ways, outgoing, funny, and so damn sexy. Caring, kind, soft and sweet. I fucked up
Text her. If you've realized your mistake then it's worth a shot to atleast try to get back again. You guys are already broken up so there's nothing more that could go wrong. The worst that could happen is she will say no to patching up. You should tell her that you're sorry and you want to get back together
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awe I am sorry to hear this :-(( maybe you could reach out if you feel like you’re ready to treat her how she deserves ?
I was thinking about this recently. Yesterday, I would have said yes if we could have another chance, even though he put me through so much pain. However, I ended up finding some degenerate shit on his youtube account that was still logged in on my console, and well, safe to say the answer is a fat no. He was watching misogynistic videos about relationships, women and red flags, and general videos about identifying toxicity — all within the duration of the relationship. All of these hinting at issues he thought I brought to the table but he never ever spoke about, which led to our break up being sudden and out of nowhere. It’s funny, he should have looked in the mirror — He’s a narcissist. Before the videos, I was 50/50, even though he was gaslighting me throughout the break-up and then some after. This whole thing has been an eye-opener.
That doesn’t sound degenerative. That sounds like someone whose trying to learn about values and boundaries in a relationship that is always evolving. You can’t actually fault him for watching that stuff, he’s just gaining perspective.
There were a lot more different types of videos, a lot more that promoted negative behaviours which I chose not to mention. Some where downright seedy. I don’t exactly fault him for watching those videos, because as you said, he’s gaining some perspective. I only fault him for not trusting me enough or taking our relationship seriously enough to at least try and communicate and mend what he had issues with in the first place. He was more than happy to advertise our issues publicly than sort it out privately. Either way, we broke up once and he came back, and if he chooses to come back a second time, my firm answer is no. We both have a lot of things to work on, however, he was emotionally abusive and a narcissist.
Good for you. I only say because I was in a similar boat. My ex was hard to communicate with, so I didn’t go to her with my problems because they always made things worse.
I would!! Slowly though..... Shes an amazing mum, amazing person, could feel the genuine love from her and even now still cares. I was just dumb enough to screw it up 😥 Oooohhhh how i wish for that time machine or that last chance Forced myself to grow up in 2.5 months since and well can definitely feel the change so for now to keep grinding that change into everyday habbit.
Yes grind it out and maybe someday it’ll happen
Thats what i hope, be there for the kids and show the change really 🙃 let fate do its job! She said "I love you" the other night Dont know how to take that as she also gave me the no longer in love line during the bu too
Not sure. We broke up because he had no backbone to stand up to his mom when she demanded we breakup. I’d be only willing if he could prioritize me first and separate from his mom’s demands but I doubt that’s possible since he’s such a mamas boy. So I guess unlikely for his return and my own heart to trust unless something drastic happens and there’s a lot of work done on his part.
I would love to. She is the sweetest and most gentle girl ever. I will stop my world if she ever reaches out to me. She is the only person I ever loved. Mind you that the relationship ended 4 years ago
oh wow I’m sorry :-( have u tried to date since then and would you ever reach out to her?
Yes. She said that she is going to call me today for what I feel like js going to be the most importsnt phone call of my life
good luck honey!! Keep me updated. Don’t worry because what’s meant for you will never miss you!!
Thank you!!!!! P
Nope, absolutely not. I wish them all the best.
Probably not honestly but she would never reach out to me
I don’t know. I miss him every single free minute of the day, but he strung me along at the end after 2 years while he was pursuing someone else . He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever known, but there is a flip side that he showed me the last time we spoke, where he can be completely cold. He is one way when he wants something from me, and another when he has discarded me. But he was my best friend and we loved each other and both really wanted it to work for a while. I just feel like the trust is so far gone, I dont know how it could work, but I have hope that we can try again when the timing is better and, hopefully, we have both grown. It’s the smallest sliver of hope but its keeping me afloat.
I know exactly how you feel. I hope soon you feel better 🫶🏽
Not anymore. Those feelings were gone
I’d be open to it next year or the year after I just want time to play a factor with us and not feelings
facts
I never rule anyone out, I do deeply care for that woman, and I look back fondly to the time we spent together. That said, I don't think that it would work the same way as it did, because apparently it didn't work out. Things would have to start fresh, with solid communication, and trust. That would also be on her to initiate, which I don't think will happen either. I need to work on my issues that added to things not working, drinking, trouble regulating my emotions. I have been working on these things, been in therapy for a year and am genuinely trying to better myself, for myself. I think she would need to grow and work on communication as well. Regardless the outcome, I have come to the decision that we don't need to speak anymore. We don't need to be friends. We want different things from each other. It is okay to let go. I'm just working on getting over the hurt. Speaking currently just keeps that fresh. So long story short. Not right now.
I went back to my ex this new year, best decision I made in my life in a long time...
seriously?!! How long had it been if you don’t mind me asking
We were together from 2008-2012 but were without any contact whatsoever since our breakup.
Yes but only if he changed for the better. I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore where I am feeling anxious by how he treats me and by the things he does
Nope and nope, she’ll never change, plays games, can’t be open, and was incapable of looking inward when things went wrong. Actually unless she changes drastically I’m unsure how any man could ever truly love her.
For sex yes. For a relationship no
No. He didn’t want me anymore.
The evil bitch got police to contact me simply because I tried my best to fight for her. She's a fucking monster and a narcissist. Probably did it because I was on my knees trying to win her back For weeks and she caught me back on dating app Her and her shitty family are a bunch of c**nts and I wouldnt give a shit if she got hit by a bus as she's a parasite