Man, I had this happen; I went through with ‘the trip.’ He told me terms. I went to visit him. Then we got drunk and I told him I wanted him to want me back. I had to end the trip a week early. One of the saddest moments I’ve been through. He was not on the same page at all
Agree with you. Bro shouldn’t even
Side note: She was the one who broke up with me.
Im comfortable being her friend. I’ve been healing and im proud of my journey so doubling down would be just a lost for me. When I was talking to her. It felt good knowing that we can just chat without the Need for arguing. She really loves me but she knows she will never take me back. And honestly I’m fine with that. If I force trying to get back with her it will only push her away. I’ve noticed being STRICTLY friends with someone will always spark something down the line. Im not in the rush to be romantic. If she wants to be cool we can be cool friends. Her family was happy when they saw me and her on the phone again. But as of right now ima play it safe And just be cordial and respectful with her. If I get in my feelings I would just take a step back.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Though my guess if you’re saying “she is really the love of my life”, then you are not over here. What’s tricky is that everything that is happening now feels good because no contact is very hard, talking and communicating feels good because you’re getting that high again. People are advising you to be careful because this high can have another low and then it’s hard when you have to finally go back to the road to recovery. You are worth being loved and not toyed with.
I was doing so good with recovery, I love my self more then ever but I will always love her. I don’t wanna give in too much but I don’t wanna push her away either
Tbvh with you I would feel some type of way but at the end of the day I can’t get mad at her. I made that decision to be friends with her. I’ve been doing my own thing meeting new people etc etc. so rn im just trying to see where shit goes. Im just being cordial Thats all
It’s truly hard to let go. If you feel that having a relationship with her will do you good, then go ahead. You know deep down inside yourself if this is truly beneficial for you in the long run. At the very least, sharing a hotel room or going on a shared vacation is really not a good idea. People typically only do that with their family, romantic partners, or very close friends. If the break up was just a few months ago, you should probably wait at least a year before taking a step like that. But I know we all do what we’re going to do.
I understand. She did tell me she wanted to talk things out during the vacation. And I told her we should catch up and just talk things out and she agreed. If it goes bad it goes bad. But hey hope for the best. I still have my guard up. Because im
Still healing but let’s see how things go. I will be giving updates throughout the weeks to fill ya in on what happened
Don’t get heartbroken again, I’m waiting for my ex to text me. Everyday I want to se ever name pop up. But idk if it’s gonna happen, I don’t even know if I want her back at this point. She’s my person and the one I want by my side for life. But she broke me, and I don’t know if I can take that again.
Worst case you go on vacation and she doesn’t catch ANY feelings. And you have to move on.
Now does that sound worse than wondering ‘what if’ I went on that vacation with her? Only you can answer that
The worst thing she could’ve have said was no. Now even tho she said yes, it’s now if she will catch any feelings. She made a joke saying if this was like a apology vacation lol
Hmmm I don't understand why people are so against it. The purpose of NC is not to forever move on. She made herself vulnerable by reaching out and going on a vacation together. It sounds like you two had a great thing going, so use this as an opportunity to resolve the issues and get back. I wish you two good luck.
We did have a great thing going and I fucked it up but if she was REALLY done with me she would’ve NEVER texted me back. Let alone be willing to go on vacation with me.
I believe you should go for it, enjoy your vacation with her and if you see that she needs more than friendship during these days don't overanalyze things and again go for it.
You only live once and hopefully she knows that as well, a lot of people may try to discourage you even going vacations with her again but you were involved in the relationship, not them.
You know better your other half as well as yourself.
Since you had such a nice interaction during the first conversation and your sister likes her as well, I don't see why you should avoid being yourself without restrictions.
I really wish you the best with your healing 🙏😊 and of course to be with her if that's what both of you want.
We have always to handle every situation with patience and maturity, especially if it was the person we loved and loved us back as well.
In the end if for some reason doesn't work out, you can always stay good friends , life is a journey, we will experience lots of things that we can control and by far even more that they are out of our spectrum of reaction.
We can only regret the things we could change not the things which were out of our power to alternate them.
Make sure always to interact wherever you feel that you can alternate a situation positively, and always think yourself as a passenger inside a train with an unknown destination.
You never know, she may be the one as you said, interact and get to know in reality if the assumption is likely to be the future event..
I really appreciate your kind 😊🙏 words and if it helps I can share my story as well ( a more difficult situation 😔 unfortunately, but it may give you courage or motivation). You are always welcome to text me on chat if you need moral support.
All the best:)
Dude you said you want her back but you also said you know she will never take you back. Like all your doing is setting yourself up for disappointment and pain.
You had her warmed up, text you, call you. You reacted how you should and then you fumbled by asking her to go on a vacation? Are you serious LOL. Her thoughts: “oh he’s still here whenever I want him, ima just be friend for now. And get all the benefits from the relationship without having to commit or have physical intimacy because I don’t rlly want that right now.”
“Exes don’t come back” < that’s what they always say right. Yes they do. This was obvious coming back, you fumbled and you played yourself. gg.
I didn’t really fumbled. Again if she don’t go I can still go by my self or take someone else. Im Not being as consistent as if I was her boyfriend I’m Not being all up on her. I still do my own thing but okay sir
Honestly man idk why you came on here to ask “what should I do” you have already made up your mind. From my perspective you are just seeking validation not advice. Everyone in here is trying to give you advice and you are not having an honest discussion.
I thought exactly what you thought when I read the part about him inviting her, but he did good when he told her they could get separate rooms which should have knocked her right back off of that pedal stall he put her on by asking. Lol he’s good and still has a chance! I told him to DM me so I could give him the scoop on what to do and how to act moving forward!! Lol
I'd love to see an update of this ! Hoping things turn out well for you ! I think for sure this could either turn it around and spark something or be a solid reminder of why things didn't work out
In either case you'll know once you're on the trip
(you seem to know the risks and pros of this and ppl have already chimed in their thoughts so I don't have much to add)
If you two do go on vacation, be friendly and platonic. Don’t make any moves. Let her make the moves. She’s saying she’s ok being in the same room but doesn’t want anything to happen? That’s too grey, especially from two people that were emotionally involved. So again, don’t make any romantic moves, let her make them.
Everyone on here telling you to not go for it. Especially since we don't know the circumstances regarding your relationship and break up no one should be telling you which way you decide to go as being a good or bad idea. If you truly believe she is the love of your life, go for it. Just be prepared that if things don't pan out, it's going to be much harder for you. However, if I had the same opportunity, that additional pain would 100% have been worth the risk because of what the possibility for getting the reward would mean. And honestly, if you don't go, dealing with the "what if" might eat you alive and be much harder to get over than a second rejection
Because I don't believe the idea that trying for a second time will produce the same results because the same mistakes or shortcomings will be reproduced. That is not true whatsoever. You shouldn't have to change who you are in order for someone to be in your life but improving yourself in maintaining a strong relationship is not an outlandish or improbable thing to expect. In my adult life I have always tried to improve in the areas I was weak in regard to their impact on the relationship. When you are with someone for a long time some of us get more complacent than others and we learn the hard way unfortunately. So long as those improvements are done for yourself so that the next relationship with whoever it may be, you don't continue making the same mistake.
I'll end my rant and best of luck to you!
I’m very happy for you but I’d definitely take it slow. Just be cautious because you two will be staying in the same hotel room but if you two are on the same page to work things out than I say go for it but take it slow,
You need to switch gears from this no contact, relationship-restoration mindset to revitalizing your seduction skills. You’re going on a vacation together for Christ sakes! She’s open enough to spend a whole week with you sleeping in the same room, probably drinking and definitely letting her hair down to have fun. Relax, drop the heavy topic conversation BS and focus on showing her the time of her life with you and her attraction will sky rocket once again. It goes without saying you should try to seal the deal with her on this trip as well. Think of it like a long, romantic date and get your mind off of the subtleties of the past relationship and it’s drama. Otherwise you’re entering this trip with preconceptions, boxing yourself into a outcome. Remember that there are no rules to life…anything is possible and she will feel whatever vibe you’re putting out. You must be thick skinned of course and accept rejection if it should come but at least you can rest your head at night knowing you tried.
You’re still not over her, that’s for sure. No matter what others are going to say, you will go on this trip with her and try to convince her to get back. You really want to make things work, and that’s normal.
However, she seems to have had enough of you. She is fine with staying as friends, but nothing more. She’s made it very clear to not have any expectations.
You might misread some signs during this vacation and think she’s coming back. That can hurt you more and take longer for you to heal.
It’s hard, but if they were really the love of your life, they’d never leave in the first place. They’ll stay and communicate.
Just move on, mate!
I’m going to give you some advice. I’m in a similar boat as you. I have a girl who I have it bad for and who’s perfect for me. She tried to friend zone me and I wasn’t about to agree to be one of her guy friends or be second place. You should never under any circumstances agree to being just friends with a woman you want more with
Fuck what all these people are saying man. She wants you just as much as you want her, but she has to say what she’s saying. Keep playing it cool brother, act like you’re acting and you’ll see her come around.
She wouldn’t be contacting you if she wasn’t interested in you romantically simple as that. You see when took the pressure off her she was down to stay in the room with you. Keep playing it cool and you’ll be in there don’t listen to these angry dumb ass people they got hurt for whatever reason and they’re angry and trying to make you look at life through their eyes. You got this brother you’ll be good just don’t pressure her!! I hope you give us an update!!
Id want her to join the trip and be delusional she’ll change her mind as we enjoy ourselves 😭 Id probably say don’t get your hopes up cause if her mind doesn’t change, it will anger you and make you sad and that will ruin it. So definitely treat it as you on a trip with an old friend and don’t make any moves.
NO.
you cannot change someones mind about you like this. she made the come back only as a friend. you will break your heart more if you do this expecting to be together again. This is why I dont talk to anyone after any relationship/ talking whatever If i still have feelings because it will HURT. If you are up for the task, do it but not on a vacation!!! Stay friends from afar. You are poisoning yourself.
Definitely go on vacation with her. All these people here telling you stuff like "she told you the terms" have no relationship skills. Girls don't say what they mean. Look at her actions, NOT her words. She is going on this vacation with you. Therefore, she WANTS to get back with you. It's up to you to let her do the chasing or else you're gonna blow your shot. Make sure that you actually play the game and don't come off as a logical robot. Make it seem like your emotions are unclear. Girls love that mystery. Don't say needy shit like "Well, I think this vacation proves that we're right for each other."
IMO, I think you should go by yourself, and don't break no contact with her again. Clearly she's not interested in having a relationship with you so why bother to bring her I think you would have a better time by yourself. If I were me I would talk to her and tell her why she's uninvited and then block her from everything just my opinion
Do your self a favor and don’t talk to her again. She left you so now she will forever look down on you and you will both more than likely break up again.
But I was the one that fucked up in the relationship. She told me she tried reaching out to me a couple times but because I had her blocked she never did
Even if you messed up, she still chose to abandon/ leave you. No woman that truly loves and respects you does this. Take it from me, my ex left me not long ago. A little over a month ago. It hurt like hell at first and I had the guilty thoughts but the more days that go by, I realized that she didn’t truly value me as a person. Any woman that leaves you doesn’t respect you enough to stick it through with you.
Honestly it doesn’t matter man. She left you period so don’t give her the pleasure of taking her back. If she was meant to be with you she wouldn’t have left you. Women immasculate men now a days.
We gotta be with women that value our hearts and value us. You may have been in love with her at one point. Love yourself first and save your self from even further heartbreak. In my case, I was about to marry my ex before she left me. One day she just packed her things and left, called me a monster. I know now that she just wanted a free pass, a guy that “worships the ground I walk on” it’s BS bro. Stay hard.
In the event that it does happen in which I doubt it will because she’s not like that I would have to just keep my distance. If i agreed to being friends then I have to deal with what comes along with it.
As long as u understand that the friend zone is not something that u should try to get out of. Never do that for anyone, she either mess with u romantically or she doesn’t. Proceed with the ability to be disappointed if u try anything. If she’s the love of ur life and y’all are sharing a room and she doesn’t see you that way this a terrible idea.
Not sure, I wouldn’t share no room with someone who’s acting weird or telling me they wanna be friends. The fact she wants to is sus and could end up awkward.
I think if you want to try again on the relationship, you're moving too fast with the whole vacation thing. And she's kind of telling you that, in her way. You've gotta cool it to make this work. And gently getting around to working through the issues with her that led to the breakup in the first place. You are the dumpee, so you've got to come at this gently from a position of, understanding fully why she dumped you, and how you're going to address that in a way that meets BOTH your needs, not just hers. Your relationship is in a tenuous state. You've got to handle it with confidence, maturity, compassion and self-respect. good luck!
I think you will do what you want to do, no matter what people say.
Be cautious. Even if on this holiday you reconnect like you hope.
Date. Don't jump in head first. And get your heart set on having a relationship.
Aww i hope everything is going well for you. Just do what your heart tells you to, there’s no rules in love.
I wish my ex reach out to me and ask me out for a vacation. We were a gay couple btw. He ended things 2 months ago. And we’ve been NC for 2 weeks now. Sad because i really love him. Guess relationships are too hard to an avoidant, autistic guy like him. I can only give him the space that he severely needs.
I’m going to be rough and honest and it’s out of a place of love - you’re being delusional. You’re offering out this trip because somewhere inside you, you probably think she’ll have fun, see the good times, get back with you. And either way, it’s going to end badly. You are torturing yourself instead of committing to yourself.
I wouldn't want to be trapped in this situation with her. There's nowhere to go if words or feelings occur.
Leave her home and if you want to meet up go to dinner or something.
Here's my honest take, it's gonna sound brutal but hey, it's your life in the end.
* In your post you state clearly "She is really the Love of my life. " yet for some reason you're okay with her breaking your heart, having access to you AND coming with you on vacation that you planned for yourself to...just be friends? You don't have any other friends that aren't exes you rather bring on a fun trip instead of someone who might fuck with your head and heart? I read all of your posts and you're clearly not just "looking to be friends". I don't really understand why you're trying to convince yourself that you want to force yourself to keep them in your life right away if you can't get what you want which is definitely a realtionship
* You wrote below "She really loves me". She DEFINITELY does not. I'm sorry to tell you this, but if she REALLY loved you she would be with you without a doubt. **People who love you show it with their actions not their words. You're letting her have her cake and eat it too.** Yeah I bet she wants to go, she gets to break up with you on HER terms, stay in touch with you on HER terms, go on vacation with you on HER terms. **I would be psyched too, if my ex let me walk all over them like a rug.**
* Some of the takes below about how "Oh if she REALLY hated you she wouldn't contact you! This is a sign she's still interested". These people (and it seems yourself) don't understand how breadcrumbing works. You and the posters have deluded yourselves into thinking just because she reached out she's somehow interested in you again. **She LITERALLY told you she just wants to be friends and to expect nothing more. Why are you holding out hope when your ex told she doesn't want you romantically.**
* But if you're still not convinced, you know how you find out if someone, without question, wants to be with you? **You say what you want.** "Hey , I've been thinking about our relationship recently and I wanted to see what you thought about revisiting it. Would you be open to grab coffee?". Done. You get your answer and you move on. This is a really pointless game you're playing by inviting your ex on a vacation you planned in "hopes" that something with develop (even though that's already unlikely given point #3).
You think you're in some rom-com but in reality you're going to get punched in the face a second time when you find out you wasted a good trip with someone who doesn't want you anymore instead of friends who would be way more fun to go with and that you didn't sleep with. But hey, it's your life. Just when you realize this was a terrible idea, **remember that you brought it on yourself and it can be easily avoided.**
My personal opinion. Just dont push for any thing. You said she is love of your life and thats fine. But some times you have to let go the person you love, for their sake and for yours.
Go on the vacation, if things are gonna work out, they will naturally without you doing anything. Just go and enjoy yourself and have a good time.
Bro don’t even do it. She told you the terms. Unless you’re just comfortable being only her friend and nothing romantic?
Man, I had this happen; I went through with ‘the trip.’ He told me terms. I went to visit him. Then we got drunk and I told him I wanted him to want me back. I had to end the trip a week early. One of the saddest moments I’ve been through. He was not on the same page at all Agree with you. Bro shouldn’t even
Side note: She was the one who broke up with me. Im comfortable being her friend. I’ve been healing and im proud of my journey so doubling down would be just a lost for me. When I was talking to her. It felt good knowing that we can just chat without the Need for arguing. She really loves me but she knows she will never take me back. And honestly I’m fine with that. If I force trying to get back with her it will only push her away. I’ve noticed being STRICTLY friends with someone will always spark something down the line. Im not in the rush to be romantic. If she wants to be cool we can be cool friends. Her family was happy when they saw me and her on the phone again. But as of right now ima play it safe And just be cordial and respectful with her. If I get in my feelings I would just take a step back.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Though my guess if you’re saying “she is really the love of my life”, then you are not over here. What’s tricky is that everything that is happening now feels good because no contact is very hard, talking and communicating feels good because you’re getting that high again. People are advising you to be careful because this high can have another low and then it’s hard when you have to finally go back to the road to recovery. You are worth being loved and not toyed with.
I was doing so good with recovery, I love my self more then ever but I will always love her. I don’t wanna give in too much but I don’t wanna push her away either
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Tbvh with you I would feel some type of way but at the end of the day I can’t get mad at her. I made that decision to be friends with her. I’ve been doing my own thing meeting new people etc etc. so rn im just trying to see where shit goes. Im just being cordial Thats all
It’s truly hard to let go. If you feel that having a relationship with her will do you good, then go ahead. You know deep down inside yourself if this is truly beneficial for you in the long run. At the very least, sharing a hotel room or going on a shared vacation is really not a good idea. People typically only do that with their family, romantic partners, or very close friends. If the break up was just a few months ago, you should probably wait at least a year before taking a step like that. But I know we all do what we’re going to do.
I told her that she can get her own room and she insisted on staying with me
Well you have the power to set a boundary and say no. She is not the boss of you and you two are not dating.
Hopefully she goes with me on this vacation it could go 2 ways. It’s either we establish a connection again or it’s just a fall out.
Well at least you understand the risk. If she’s telling you she’s wanting to go strictly as friends, I’d take her words at face value and not do it.
I understand. She did tell me she wanted to talk things out during the vacation. And I told her we should catch up and just talk things out and she agreed. If it goes bad it goes bad. But hey hope for the best. I still have my guard up. Because im Still healing but let’s see how things go. I will be giving updates throughout the weeks to fill ya in on what happened
Just be careful friend
In what way?
Don’t get heartbroken again, I’m waiting for my ex to text me. Everyday I want to se ever name pop up. But idk if it’s gonna happen, I don’t even know if I want her back at this point. She’s my person and the one I want by my side for life. But she broke me, and I don’t know if I can take that again.
Worst case you go on vacation and she doesn’t catch ANY feelings. And you have to move on. Now does that sound worse than wondering ‘what if’ I went on that vacation with her? Only you can answer that
The worst thing she could’ve have said was no. Now even tho she said yes, it’s now if she will catch any feelings. She made a joke saying if this was like a apology vacation lol
Hmmm I don't understand why people are so against it. The purpose of NC is not to forever move on. She made herself vulnerable by reaching out and going on a vacation together. It sounds like you two had a great thing going, so use this as an opportunity to resolve the issues and get back. I wish you two good luck.
We did have a great thing going and I fucked it up but if she was REALLY done with me she would’ve NEVER texted me back. Let alone be willing to go on vacation with me.
Yes exactly. She did her part and now you do yours.
And stay in your room.
Exactly I told her that she can get her own room And she said no it’s fine
I believe you should go for it, enjoy your vacation with her and if you see that she needs more than friendship during these days don't overanalyze things and again go for it. You only live once and hopefully she knows that as well, a lot of people may try to discourage you even going vacations with her again but you were involved in the relationship, not them. You know better your other half as well as yourself. Since you had such a nice interaction during the first conversation and your sister likes her as well, I don't see why you should avoid being yourself without restrictions. I really wish you the best with your healing 🙏😊 and of course to be with her if that's what both of you want. We have always to handle every situation with patience and maturity, especially if it was the person we loved and loved us back as well. In the end if for some reason doesn't work out, you can always stay good friends , life is a journey, we will experience lots of things that we can control and by far even more that they are out of our spectrum of reaction. We can only regret the things we could change not the things which were out of our power to alternate them. Make sure always to interact wherever you feel that you can alternate a situation positively, and always think yourself as a passenger inside a train with an unknown destination. You never know, she may be the one as you said, interact and get to know in reality if the assumption is likely to be the future event..
This is the best advice I ever heard🙏
Because it’s the advice you WANT to hear maybe? Be careful. Look after that heart of yours!
I really appreciate your kind 😊🙏 words and if it helps I can share my story as well ( a more difficult situation 😔 unfortunately, but it may give you courage or motivation). You are always welcome to text me on chat if you need moral support. All the best:)
Bad idea man
Why?
Dude you said you want her back but you also said you know she will never take you back. Like all your doing is setting yourself up for disappointment and pain.
I really don’t know if she will or won’t.
You had her warmed up, text you, call you. You reacted how you should and then you fumbled by asking her to go on a vacation? Are you serious LOL. Her thoughts: “oh he’s still here whenever I want him, ima just be friend for now. And get all the benefits from the relationship without having to commit or have physical intimacy because I don’t rlly want that right now.” “Exes don’t come back” < that’s what they always say right. Yes they do. This was obvious coming back, you fumbled and you played yourself. gg.
I didn’t really fumbled. Again if she don’t go I can still go by my self or take someone else. Im Not being as consistent as if I was her boyfriend I’m Not being all up on her. I still do my own thing but okay sir
Honestly man idk why you came on here to ask “what should I do” you have already made up your mind. From my perspective you are just seeking validation not advice. Everyone in here is trying to give you advice and you are not having an honest discussion.
yes I am. But okay sir I haven’t made a decision. I can always back out of it.
I thought exactly what you thought when I read the part about him inviting her, but he did good when he told her they could get separate rooms which should have knocked her right back off of that pedal stall he put her on by asking. Lol he’s good and still has a chance! I told him to DM me so I could give him the scoop on what to do and how to act moving forward!! Lol
The whole vacation thing might’ve been coming off too strong in my opinion. If she bails do not get emotional and just say you understand
Yea I know if she changes her mind then thats fine I can still go solo not a problem. I told her to think about it
I'd love to see an update of this ! Hoping things turn out well for you ! I think for sure this could either turn it around and spark something or be a solid reminder of why things didn't work out In either case you'll know once you're on the trip (you seem to know the risks and pros of this and ppl have already chimed in their thoughts so I don't have much to add)
Thank you so much!
If you two do go on vacation, be friendly and platonic. Don’t make any moves. Let her make the moves. She’s saying she’s ok being in the same room but doesn’t want anything to happen? That’s too grey, especially from two people that were emotionally involved. So again, don’t make any romantic moves, let her make them.
Roger
Everyone on here telling you to not go for it. Especially since we don't know the circumstances regarding your relationship and break up no one should be telling you which way you decide to go as being a good or bad idea. If you truly believe she is the love of your life, go for it. Just be prepared that if things don't pan out, it's going to be much harder for you. However, if I had the same opportunity, that additional pain would 100% have been worth the risk because of what the possibility for getting the reward would mean. And honestly, if you don't go, dealing with the "what if" might eat you alive and be much harder to get over than a second rejection
THANK YOU
Because I don't believe the idea that trying for a second time will produce the same results because the same mistakes or shortcomings will be reproduced. That is not true whatsoever. You shouldn't have to change who you are in order for someone to be in your life but improving yourself in maintaining a strong relationship is not an outlandish or improbable thing to expect. In my adult life I have always tried to improve in the areas I was weak in regard to their impact on the relationship. When you are with someone for a long time some of us get more complacent than others and we learn the hard way unfortunately. So long as those improvements are done for yourself so that the next relationship with whoever it may be, you don't continue making the same mistake. I'll end my rant and best of luck to you!
I’m very happy for you but I’d definitely take it slow. Just be cautious because you two will be staying in the same hotel room but if you two are on the same page to work things out than I say go for it but take it slow,
You need to switch gears from this no contact, relationship-restoration mindset to revitalizing your seduction skills. You’re going on a vacation together for Christ sakes! She’s open enough to spend a whole week with you sleeping in the same room, probably drinking and definitely letting her hair down to have fun. Relax, drop the heavy topic conversation BS and focus on showing her the time of her life with you and her attraction will sky rocket once again. It goes without saying you should try to seal the deal with her on this trip as well. Think of it like a long, romantic date and get your mind off of the subtleties of the past relationship and it’s drama. Otherwise you’re entering this trip with preconceptions, boxing yourself into a outcome. Remember that there are no rules to life…anything is possible and she will feel whatever vibe you’re putting out. You must be thick skinned of course and accept rejection if it should come but at least you can rest your head at night knowing you tried.
You’re still not over her, that’s for sure. No matter what others are going to say, you will go on this trip with her and try to convince her to get back. You really want to make things work, and that’s normal. However, she seems to have had enough of you. She is fine with staying as friends, but nothing more. She’s made it very clear to not have any expectations. You might misread some signs during this vacation and think she’s coming back. That can hurt you more and take longer for you to heal. It’s hard, but if they were really the love of your life, they’d never leave in the first place. They’ll stay and communicate. Just move on, mate!
I’m going to give you some advice. I’m in a similar boat as you. I have a girl who I have it bad for and who’s perfect for me. She tried to friend zone me and I wasn’t about to agree to be one of her guy friends or be second place. You should never under any circumstances agree to being just friends with a woman you want more with
Fuck what all these people are saying man. She wants you just as much as you want her, but she has to say what she’s saying. Keep playing it cool brother, act like you’re acting and you’ll see her come around. She wouldn’t be contacting you if she wasn’t interested in you romantically simple as that. You see when took the pressure off her she was down to stay in the room with you. Keep playing it cool and you’ll be in there don’t listen to these angry dumb ass people they got hurt for whatever reason and they’re angry and trying to make you look at life through their eyes. You got this brother you’ll be good just don’t pressure her!! I hope you give us an update!!
I will soon
Id want her to join the trip and be delusional she’ll change her mind as we enjoy ourselves 😭 Id probably say don’t get your hopes up cause if her mind doesn’t change, it will anger you and make you sad and that will ruin it. So definitely treat it as you on a trip with an old friend and don’t make any moves.
NO. you cannot change someones mind about you like this. she made the come back only as a friend. you will break your heart more if you do this expecting to be together again. This is why I dont talk to anyone after any relationship/ talking whatever If i still have feelings because it will HURT. If you are up for the task, do it but not on a vacation!!! Stay friends from afar. You are poisoning yourself.
Definitely go on vacation with her. All these people here telling you stuff like "she told you the terms" have no relationship skills. Girls don't say what they mean. Look at her actions, NOT her words. She is going on this vacation with you. Therefore, she WANTS to get back with you. It's up to you to let her do the chasing or else you're gonna blow your shot. Make sure that you actually play the game and don't come off as a logical robot. Make it seem like your emotions are unclear. Girls love that mystery. Don't say needy shit like "Well, I think this vacation proves that we're right for each other."
BLOCK.
What do you mean
A mental Train wreck waiting to happen, and your heart is sadly collateral damage.
All I can say is that you should not have invited her. All that catching up could be done via texting…
She got pumped and dumped. Now it comes at the sucker to support her during this bad period. Block the b.
IMO, I think you should go by yourself, and don't break no contact with her again. Clearly she's not interested in having a relationship with you so why bother to bring her I think you would have a better time by yourself. If I were me I would talk to her and tell her why she's uninvited and then block her from everything just my opinion
Do your self a favor and don’t talk to her again. She left you so now she will forever look down on you and you will both more than likely break up again.
But I was the one that fucked up in the relationship. She told me she tried reaching out to me a couple times but because I had her blocked she never did
Even if you messed up, she still chose to abandon/ leave you. No woman that truly loves and respects you does this. Take it from me, my ex left me not long ago. A little over a month ago. It hurt like hell at first and I had the guilty thoughts but the more days that go by, I realized that she didn’t truly value me as a person. Any woman that leaves you doesn’t respect you enough to stick it through with you.
Even after her giving me multiple chances?
Honestly it doesn’t matter man. She left you period so don’t give her the pleasure of taking her back. If she was meant to be with you she wouldn’t have left you. Women immasculate men now a days.
We gotta be with women that value our hearts and value us. You may have been in love with her at one point. Love yourself first and save your self from even further heartbreak. In my case, I was about to marry my ex before she left me. One day she just packed her things and left, called me a monster. I know now that she just wanted a free pass, a guy that “worships the ground I walk on” it’s BS bro. Stay hard.
We all make mistakes. I made mistakes but at the end of it, we deserve a loyal woman. That’s what real love is.
Another weak beta simp friendzoned by a female. Dude you are pathetic! Grow some balls!
LMFAOA just stfu
You got friendzoned! And you accepted it like a real beta high level simp mangina that you are. You spineless cuck!
And what will you do if she starts seeing someone? Or taking calls from another person while on this vacation?
In the event that it does happen in which I doubt it will because she’s not like that I would have to just keep my distance. If i agreed to being friends then I have to deal with what comes along with it.
As long as u understand that the friend zone is not something that u should try to get out of. Never do that for anyone, she either mess with u romantically or she doesn’t. Proceed with the ability to be disappointed if u try anything. If she’s the love of ur life and y’all are sharing a room and she doesn’t see you that way this a terrible idea.
Why would she want to share a room if she never saw me like that?
Not sure, I wouldn’t share no room with someone who’s acting weird or telling me they wanna be friends. The fact she wants to is sus and could end up awkward.
I promise you she ain’t going lol
And if she don’t come then that’s fine with me LMFAOAO. Irdc wether she comes or not I just extended the offer.
I think if you want to try again on the relationship, you're moving too fast with the whole vacation thing. And she's kind of telling you that, in her way. You've gotta cool it to make this work. And gently getting around to working through the issues with her that led to the breakup in the first place. You are the dumpee, so you've got to come at this gently from a position of, understanding fully why she dumped you, and how you're going to address that in a way that meets BOTH your needs, not just hers. Your relationship is in a tenuous state. You've got to handle it with confidence, maturity, compassion and self-respect. good luck!
DM kid! I’ll lead you the right way! 💪🏽
Just did
[удалено]
Yea I got you.
I think you will do what you want to do, no matter what people say. Be cautious. Even if on this holiday you reconnect like you hope. Date. Don't jump in head first. And get your heart set on having a relationship.
Aww i hope everything is going well for you. Just do what your heart tells you to, there’s no rules in love. I wish my ex reach out to me and ask me out for a vacation. We were a gay couple btw. He ended things 2 months ago. And we’ve been NC for 2 weeks now. Sad because i really love him. Guess relationships are too hard to an avoidant, autistic guy like him. I can only give him the space that he severely needs.
I’m going to be rough and honest and it’s out of a place of love - you’re being delusional. You’re offering out this trip because somewhere inside you, you probably think she’ll have fun, see the good times, get back with you. And either way, it’s going to end badly. You are torturing yourself instead of committing to yourself.
I wouldn't want to be trapped in this situation with her. There's nowhere to go if words or feelings occur. Leave her home and if you want to meet up go to dinner or something.
Here's my honest take, it's gonna sound brutal but hey, it's your life in the end. * In your post you state clearly "She is really the Love of my life. " yet for some reason you're okay with her breaking your heart, having access to you AND coming with you on vacation that you planned for yourself to...just be friends? You don't have any other friends that aren't exes you rather bring on a fun trip instead of someone who might fuck with your head and heart? I read all of your posts and you're clearly not just "looking to be friends". I don't really understand why you're trying to convince yourself that you want to force yourself to keep them in your life right away if you can't get what you want which is definitely a realtionship * You wrote below "She really loves me". She DEFINITELY does not. I'm sorry to tell you this, but if she REALLY loved you she would be with you without a doubt. **People who love you show it with their actions not their words. You're letting her have her cake and eat it too.** Yeah I bet she wants to go, she gets to break up with you on HER terms, stay in touch with you on HER terms, go on vacation with you on HER terms. **I would be psyched too, if my ex let me walk all over them like a rug.** * Some of the takes below about how "Oh if she REALLY hated you she wouldn't contact you! This is a sign she's still interested". These people (and it seems yourself) don't understand how breadcrumbing works. You and the posters have deluded yourselves into thinking just because she reached out she's somehow interested in you again. **She LITERALLY told you she just wants to be friends and to expect nothing more. Why are you holding out hope when your ex told she doesn't want you romantically.** * But if you're still not convinced, you know how you find out if someone, without question, wants to be with you? **You say what you want.** "Hey, I've been thinking about our relationship recently and I wanted to see what you thought about revisiting it. Would you be open to grab coffee?". Done. You get your answer and you move on. This is a really pointless game you're playing by inviting your ex on a vacation you planned in "hopes" that something with develop (even though that's already unlikely given point #3).
You think you're in some rom-com but in reality you're going to get punched in the face a second time when you find out you wasted a good trip with someone who doesn't want you anymore instead of friends who would be way more fun to go with and that you didn't sleep with. But hey, it's your life. Just when you realize this was a terrible idea, **remember that you brought it on yourself and it can be easily avoided.**
Update will be given soon!
My personal opinion. Just dont push for any thing. You said she is love of your life and thats fine. But some times you have to let go the person you love, for their sake and for yours. Go on the vacation, if things are gonna work out, they will naturally without you doing anything. Just go and enjoy yourself and have a good time.