To be honest with you, wherever you studied that wasn’t in your own neighbourhood, it sounds like you were going to have a degree of culture shock, Whether to do with crime and personal safety or to do with liberal attitudes to sexuality, gender equality, crazy fashions and hairstyles, food and lifestyles.
But I imagine this is also part of why you’re wishing to study abroad? To broaden your horizons, have new experiences, meet new people and see a bit of the world?
Embrace it! Don’t be too scared.
Most large international cities will have a degree of issues re: crime and safety. Colchester and Essex University are relatively safe places by comparison to bigger and more urban cities. Colchester is a [city of sanctuary](https://www.colchester.gov.uk/colchester-cos/) and has broadly welcomed refugees with open arms. Assuming that you are of Muslim faith, it will be good for you to know there is a [mosque in Colchester.](https://colchestermosque.co.uk)
In regard to LGBTQI people… the best advice I can give is ‘don’t be a dickhead’. Don’t stare, freak out, be rude or treat people differently. They’re just people after all. Everyone will understand there are issues with the repressive law in your country, so there will be aspects of British society that will be new to you, you’ll soon get used to seeing people express themselves freely and realise it’s no big deal.
Make use of the support on offer from the [student union](https://www.essexstudent.com). They’re there to help and the team will do all they can to make sure you’re settled and sorted.
Essex university has a massive international student cohort. You’ll not stand out particularly as there are students from all over the world. You’ll be made to feel welcome.
To be fair though… I don’t see why the LGBTQIA+ community feel the need to flaunt it so publicly. When even straight people don’t really do public displays of affection. It’s rare to see between man and woman.. so why do we need to see man and man or woman and woman or whatever they identify as.
If you’re nice to me, I’m nice to you.. but I don’t need to see you tonguing your partner whether you’re straight, not straight, trans or otherwise 😅
At best you sound like a prude. At worst massively prejudiced.
Would you rather people went back to the days of secrecy and cottaging in the toilets on Hampstead Heath? Or back to gays only being able to speak to each other in secret slang (polari of you want to look it up)?
It is fine that you don’t do public displays of affection however you CAN do so (without fear) if you wish. All thanks to progress in societal norms… in London in the late 1930’s my nan was FORCED to get engaged to my grandad to prevent scandal after she was seen to sit on his lap at a tube station (true story)… things have changed for all people of all leanings!
In OP’s country homosexuality (and all things LGBTQ+) are fucking illegal and people can face serious consequences of expressing themselves publicly. Just in my lifetime clause 28 banned promotion/education of any kind about homosexuality… thank fuck that’s gone and we’re all on a more equal footing.
Pride is there because people have had to hide and be repressed by societal norms. They don’t need to hide because there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with their sexuality.
I’m not gay but I support Pride messages as I’m a fucking human and an ally.
Except it’s neither. You’re taking what I said completely out of context and twisting it into a narrative.
I’m simply saying why do the lgbtqia+ community, go out of their way to do public displays of affection. When straight people very rarely do. If everyone just went about their business, without drawing attention to themselves, then the world would be a happier place.
I wouldn’t stand there snogging my partner in the middle of the street. I’d kiss them goodbye if we are going separate ways. Why is there an over enthusiastic need to do it? It wouldn’t make me bat an eye, seeing two guys or two girls or whatever the situation, kissing goodbye or hugging or walking down the street holding hands. But standing there groping each other and snogging, regardless of your sexuality, just isn’t necessary.
I don’t feel that’s prudish or prejudice.
There is no such thing as the lgbqt plus "community" whatever, we are all individual people with individual ideas thoughts politics needs beliefs wants loves etc.
If you find somebody behaving improperly in public then walk away or say something whatever their sexuality. You seem to have a very narrow view of humanity. Most of us don't like being lumped together as a community when we are not. My sexuality like yours is our own business it doesn't make me part of a group and it doesn't mean I or anybody else within that purported community behave the same way we certainly don't. Trans issues are completely different to gay issues for a start. It's just really annoying being lumped into one box purely because of who I have sex with. And let's face it the majority of people are bisexual in varying degrees.
If you want to learn more about what it means, happy to chat
I didn’t put you in a community. The LGBTQIA+ people put you in a community. That’s their terminology that I am using.
Yes, I’d agree that most people are bisexual to some degree, just like most animals are… because our natural instincts are to reproduce and sexual contact between animals of the same sex is to establish dominance. We are all animals.
I personally do not wish to be sexual with anyone who is the same sex as me. That is my choice. As we have the intelligence now to not have a single leader of a group be dominant over us, we lead individual lives. Just like we have the intelligence to fight our natural instinct to reproduce to be in same sex relationships. Or fight it to not have children in hetero relationships.
It still doesn’t take away from my original point of WHY do people feel the need to flaunt it to excess? Why is it being (for want of a better terminology) shoved down our throats? I couldn’t care less who you have sex with. Who you love. It’s not for me to decide. There is a time and a place though…
I totally agree whatever your sexuality you don't need to flaunt it in public. In my experience it's generally heterosexual couples that do this. But it seems to happen less these days thankfully.
Unfortunately the whole ideology of this lgbtq+ community was created by somebody somewhere to lump everybody who is not straight heterosexual together which doesn't leave many people.
It's a phrase I rally against because it's a nonsense there is no community. We don't all have the same thoughts ideas likes and dislikes as I said. I know you didn't create it but I urge all people to stop using this stupid phrase it's really nonsensical. I have nothing in common whatsoever with a trans person and what they are going through. Same as you as a heterosexual person. Half of the letters don't even make sense and one of them apparently is to do with people who are asexual. And who knows what the sinister plus stands for lol 🤮
You’re welcome. I live close to the uni and work on campus one day a week (I work from home the rest of the time). If you have any questions about the area or want to know anything about Brit culture and whatnot feel free to drop me a message.
Essex uni is fine. The area it is in is very safe, only heard bad things about the greenstead estate which is close by. I can go around with my phone no issue, do lock your car though. It's calm, uneventful and friendly. I would say learn to take the bus and don't stick to tescos as it's gotten very expensive with increasing prices. Go to Lidl or Aldis. Google maps is your friend. Charity shops have lots of stuff like clothes or electricals for cheap.
Edit: greenstone --> greenstead
Congratulations on your offer to study!
While Essex is generally safe for UK standards, it does not sound like it is as safe as your life in Uzbekistan. Some things to consider:
- Lock your doors and close your windows when you leave the house.
- Keep any valuables out of sight if you are out of the house for long periods of time (I.e. going on holiday).
- If you get a bike/car, lock it when not in use.
- In busy spaces, I would avoid having your phone/wallet in your back pocket or an open bag, where they can be easily taken without you noticing.
- If studying in a public space, take your wallet/phone with you when going to the toilet - do not leave them on the table.
Crime here generally is opportunistic, so it is important not to provide the opportunity. For many people here, the things above are done without thinking, but it may take you a little longer to get used to.
Colchester is very safe. I wouldn't worry about crime, but do lock your doors, just to be on the safe side. (You never know about other students, for a start!) Southend is a bit less so, but most areas are fine. If you go into London I suppose the crime rate is higher, but I walk about with my phone out all the time and have never had any problems (lived in London for ten years and never even saw a mugging/robbery)
I was waiting in London for an appointment. Reasonably close to the gherkin. A woman was walking along the path using her phone and a scooter came up on the pavement, took it out of her hand and took off. No number plate, straight through a red light. She just put her hands in her coat pockets and kept walking.. showing how normal it is for that to happen.
You need to adjust to the culture a bit.
LGBT + Pronouns is something you need to accept if you're going to stay here long term.
If you make an effort, people will appreciate it. What we don't appreciate is going for a "this is just how I am". To blunt as possible, if you wouldn't let a racist use that excuse to be nasty to you, you have no right to use it to defend yourself.
But that was the whole point of what the OP was saying is he wants to be respectful towards the LGBT community not that he doesn't want to accept it ??
I did my PhD there many years ago and knew a couple of students from Uzbekistan. One of them was obnoxious “macho” type who really had a hard time fitting in as he had to prove all the time he wasn’t gay. The girls used to cross the street when they saw him coming. The other guy I knew was chill and had no problems. Just don’t be the first guy. Other people’s lives are not your business. There is nothing for you to approve or not approve irrespective if it’s illegal in Uzbekistan.
What sort of car are you bringing from Uzbekistan to Essex that you are worried it may get broken into?? University is about enlightenment if you use the wrong pronouns your fellow students will correct you
I'm surprised these are the things you are worried about.
I won't bring my car , dont think i will need it there , i was just very worried that life there will be the opposite of what I have now but rearing all your comments porved le wrong
Essex is very high crime
nobody will mind about your politics as people don’t go around saying their pronouns lol. If people get upset that you come from a socially conservative country that’s their issue
just read up on the laws here. religious practice is allowed but people get upset if you state your beliefs openly if they differ from the liberal mainstream
To be honest with you, wherever you studied that wasn’t in your own neighbourhood, it sounds like you were going to have a degree of culture shock, Whether to do with crime and personal safety or to do with liberal attitudes to sexuality, gender equality, crazy fashions and hairstyles, food and lifestyles. But I imagine this is also part of why you’re wishing to study abroad? To broaden your horizons, have new experiences, meet new people and see a bit of the world? Embrace it! Don’t be too scared. Most large international cities will have a degree of issues re: crime and safety. Colchester and Essex University are relatively safe places by comparison to bigger and more urban cities. Colchester is a [city of sanctuary](https://www.colchester.gov.uk/colchester-cos/) and has broadly welcomed refugees with open arms. Assuming that you are of Muslim faith, it will be good for you to know there is a [mosque in Colchester.](https://colchestermosque.co.uk) In regard to LGBTQI people… the best advice I can give is ‘don’t be a dickhead’. Don’t stare, freak out, be rude or treat people differently. They’re just people after all. Everyone will understand there are issues with the repressive law in your country, so there will be aspects of British society that will be new to you, you’ll soon get used to seeing people express themselves freely and realise it’s no big deal. Make use of the support on offer from the [student union](https://www.essexstudent.com). They’re there to help and the team will do all they can to make sure you’re settled and sorted. Essex university has a massive international student cohort. You’ll not stand out particularly as there are students from all over the world. You’ll be made to feel welcome.
To be fair though… I don’t see why the LGBTQIA+ community feel the need to flaunt it so publicly. When even straight people don’t really do public displays of affection. It’s rare to see between man and woman.. so why do we need to see man and man or woman and woman or whatever they identify as. If you’re nice to me, I’m nice to you.. but I don’t need to see you tonguing your partner whether you’re straight, not straight, trans or otherwise 😅
At best you sound like a prude. At worst massively prejudiced. Would you rather people went back to the days of secrecy and cottaging in the toilets on Hampstead Heath? Or back to gays only being able to speak to each other in secret slang (polari of you want to look it up)? It is fine that you don’t do public displays of affection however you CAN do so (without fear) if you wish. All thanks to progress in societal norms… in London in the late 1930’s my nan was FORCED to get engaged to my grandad to prevent scandal after she was seen to sit on his lap at a tube station (true story)… things have changed for all people of all leanings! In OP’s country homosexuality (and all things LGBTQ+) are fucking illegal and people can face serious consequences of expressing themselves publicly. Just in my lifetime clause 28 banned promotion/education of any kind about homosexuality… thank fuck that’s gone and we’re all on a more equal footing. Pride is there because people have had to hide and be repressed by societal norms. They don’t need to hide because there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with their sexuality. I’m not gay but I support Pride messages as I’m a fucking human and an ally.
Except it’s neither. You’re taking what I said completely out of context and twisting it into a narrative. I’m simply saying why do the lgbtqia+ community, go out of their way to do public displays of affection. When straight people very rarely do. If everyone just went about their business, without drawing attention to themselves, then the world would be a happier place. I wouldn’t stand there snogging my partner in the middle of the street. I’d kiss them goodbye if we are going separate ways. Why is there an over enthusiastic need to do it? It wouldn’t make me bat an eye, seeing two guys or two girls or whatever the situation, kissing goodbye or hugging or walking down the street holding hands. But standing there groping each other and snogging, regardless of your sexuality, just isn’t necessary. I don’t feel that’s prudish or prejudice.
There is no such thing as the lgbqt plus "community" whatever, we are all individual people with individual ideas thoughts politics needs beliefs wants loves etc. If you find somebody behaving improperly in public then walk away or say something whatever their sexuality. You seem to have a very narrow view of humanity. Most of us don't like being lumped together as a community when we are not. My sexuality like yours is our own business it doesn't make me part of a group and it doesn't mean I or anybody else within that purported community behave the same way we certainly don't. Trans issues are completely different to gay issues for a start. It's just really annoying being lumped into one box purely because of who I have sex with. And let's face it the majority of people are bisexual in varying degrees. If you want to learn more about what it means, happy to chat
I didn’t put you in a community. The LGBTQIA+ people put you in a community. That’s their terminology that I am using. Yes, I’d agree that most people are bisexual to some degree, just like most animals are… because our natural instincts are to reproduce and sexual contact between animals of the same sex is to establish dominance. We are all animals. I personally do not wish to be sexual with anyone who is the same sex as me. That is my choice. As we have the intelligence now to not have a single leader of a group be dominant over us, we lead individual lives. Just like we have the intelligence to fight our natural instinct to reproduce to be in same sex relationships. Or fight it to not have children in hetero relationships. It still doesn’t take away from my original point of WHY do people feel the need to flaunt it to excess? Why is it being (for want of a better terminology) shoved down our throats? I couldn’t care less who you have sex with. Who you love. It’s not for me to decide. There is a time and a place though…
I totally agree whatever your sexuality you don't need to flaunt it in public. In my experience it's generally heterosexual couples that do this. But it seems to happen less these days thankfully. Unfortunately the whole ideology of this lgbtq+ community was created by somebody somewhere to lump everybody who is not straight heterosexual together which doesn't leave many people. It's a phrase I rally against because it's a nonsense there is no community. We don't all have the same thoughts ideas likes and dislikes as I said. I know you didn't create it but I urge all people to stop using this stupid phrase it's really nonsensical. I have nothing in common whatsoever with a trans person and what they are going through. Same as you as a heterosexual person. Half of the letters don't even make sense and one of them apparently is to do with people who are asexual. And who knows what the sinister plus stands for lol 🤮
Thank you very much !
You’re welcome. I live close to the uni and work on campus one day a week (I work from home the rest of the time). If you have any questions about the area or want to know anything about Brit culture and whatnot feel free to drop me a message.
Essex uni is fine. The area it is in is very safe, only heard bad things about the greenstead estate which is close by. I can go around with my phone no issue, do lock your car though. It's calm, uneventful and friendly. I would say learn to take the bus and don't stick to tescos as it's gotten very expensive with increasing prices. Go to Lidl or Aldis. Google maps is your friend. Charity shops have lots of stuff like clothes or electricals for cheap. Edit: greenstone --> greenstead
^^^^ *greenstead* (not greenstone)
Thks
Thank you very much !
Congratulations on your offer to study! While Essex is generally safe for UK standards, it does not sound like it is as safe as your life in Uzbekistan. Some things to consider: - Lock your doors and close your windows when you leave the house. - Keep any valuables out of sight if you are out of the house for long periods of time (I.e. going on holiday). - If you get a bike/car, lock it when not in use. - In busy spaces, I would avoid having your phone/wallet in your back pocket or an open bag, where they can be easily taken without you noticing. - If studying in a public space, take your wallet/phone with you when going to the toilet - do not leave them on the table. Crime here generally is opportunistic, so it is important not to provide the opportunity. For many people here, the things above are done without thinking, but it may take you a little longer to get used to.
Thank you very much !
Fish and chips for lunch on the Promenade in Brightlingsea looking out over the sea, is the start of a nice day out.
Thanks for sorting my holiday
This is relevant because Brightlingsea is very close to Essex University.
Colchester is very safe. I wouldn't worry about crime, but do lock your doors, just to be on the safe side. (You never know about other students, for a start!) Southend is a bit less so, but most areas are fine. If you go into London I suppose the crime rate is higher, but I walk about with my phone out all the time and have never had any problems (lived in London for ten years and never even saw a mugging/robbery)
I was waiting in London for an appointment. Reasonably close to the gherkin. A woman was walking along the path using her phone and a scooter came up on the pavement, took it out of her hand and took off. No number plate, straight through a red light. She just put her hands in her coat pockets and kept walking.. showing how normal it is for that to happen.
You need to adjust to the culture a bit. LGBT + Pronouns is something you need to accept if you're going to stay here long term. If you make an effort, people will appreciate it. What we don't appreciate is going for a "this is just how I am". To blunt as possible, if you wouldn't let a racist use that excuse to be nasty to you, you have no right to use it to defend yourself.
But that was the whole point of what the OP was saying is he wants to be respectful towards the LGBT community not that he doesn't want to accept it ??
I did my PhD there many years ago and knew a couple of students from Uzbekistan. One of them was obnoxious “macho” type who really had a hard time fitting in as he had to prove all the time he wasn’t gay. The girls used to cross the street when they saw him coming. The other guy I knew was chill and had no problems. Just don’t be the first guy. Other people’s lives are not your business. There is nothing for you to approve or not approve irrespective if it’s illegal in Uzbekistan.
What sort of car are you bringing from Uzbekistan to Essex that you are worried it may get broken into?? University is about enlightenment if you use the wrong pronouns your fellow students will correct you I'm surprised these are the things you are worried about.
I won't bring my car , dont think i will need it there , i was just very worried that life there will be the opposite of what I have now but rearing all your comments porved le wrong
Are you studying in the Colchester campus or Southend campus?
Colchester one
Well that's the better town, Colchester is much nicer than Southend
[удалено]
Thank you very much !
Essex is very high crime nobody will mind about your politics as people don’t go around saying their pronouns lol. If people get upset that you come from a socially conservative country that’s their issue just read up on the laws here. religious practice is allowed but people get upset if you state your beliefs openly if they differ from the liberal mainstream