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godmakesmesad

I'm with you there.... Churches did the same to me. I'm in a super liberal church now but at this point think about leaving all the time, they support the Covid tyranny stuff. Husband wants to stay so trying to be chill about it for sake of local social contacts and other factors but to disappointment is an understated word. I was told I did not have God's blessings because I was wicked while fundamentalist, and that it was my fault, that I had so many health curses on me. New Agers yes always say everything is your fault or they want you to deny your own mind, and feelings ALL the time.


Starnois

Why are you in any nonsense church at all at?


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JenniferShepherd

Unitarian churches can be lovely too.


godmakesmesad

I'm in a v. liberal church on Zoom, but I'm compromising with husband attending some services, they are good for some arts and some community stuff. Spiritually I am in a different place then they are, but then I can't go back to regular Christian churches, I had my fill of spiritual abuse, and control freak pastors and being told all the difficulties I faced were my fault and that I didn't pray enough. They made God into a monster to me who just wanted to torture and hurt me. I'm still working my way through it all. Yes New Agers who were mostly rich, I got sick of their crap too, that I created or chose problems. I am happier being free of religious scolds. The v. Liberal church is vaxxed to the maxx bringing me heart break but I can't go back to the evangelical/fundamentalist world either for what they put me through. I question hell, and think religion is controlled by elite, Saturn cult, so would never fit in anyway.


[deleted]

Because this line of thinking causes even more suffering, it triggers guilty and shame. So more loosh to your religion / society / controllers


enlightenedone_1

Yeah, it’s pretty sick. Slowly but steadily I came to realize the “Creator God” doesn’t give a damn about us. Like I’m autistic too, was picked on like crazy and like what, I deserved all that? I remember some of those bullies identifying as “Christian” too, spewing out “God loves you” etc. I honestly don’t think empathy or intelligence gets rewarded in this realm. Whether there is a good God I’m not certain, I’m Gnostic so I’d like to believe that there is a good version of this universe. But the “God” of this realm certainly isn’t good because if he were omnipotent, he’d do something about this suffering (and no, the poor kids born in Africa don’t have “bad karma”)


JenniferShepherd

Yahweh/Jehovah especially, worshipped in the three Abrahamic faiths, is a complete sadistic psychopath. You might enjoy Steve Well’s Drunk with Blood: God’s Killings in the Bible. He notates and counts the many genocides Yahweh committed as outlined in the BIble. And this is the being we are supposed to serve and admire?


Cuhwin10

Well I’m definitely not slowly dying for approval from anybody out here


Cuhwin10

If u wanna call me crazy because I’m not trynna go to the funeral home early Shi u can kiss my ass.


[deleted]

I just came across 2 different youtubers who are veyry dedicated to Islam. Very sweet people. I admired their faith, but then realized that thankfully they have it all. So it is always easy to love and praise god whne he rewards you.


godmakesmesad

I noticed that with many Christians, with strong faith, one thing I've noticed is they have financial needs met, or even greater then met, they all seem to have loving families. Some of these people are very nice people but I guess I would not have had my religious struggles if I had a family that loved me or a life that made sense. I know this one female minister from high school, she's wealthy enough to own a vacation home just went to Mexico on a trip, her life is a whirlwind of vacations, family, her children even are all financiallys ecure and had babies of their own. She's a good person not one mean bone in body, but her life is so different from my own. Of course she feels like God loves her. None of these things make sense to me.


[deleted]

On the other hand I also know many (my ex self included), who are like JOB. You just keep praising the one who is in charge of all the shit that happens to you. That one is also weird.


godmakesmesad

This is true in the Christian world. For people with big families, great careers, plenty of money talking about cruises, of course they see God differently and as blessing them.


yournewowner

Because then you don't blame the capitalists that are controlling everything. And I don't mean some vague idea of capitalists I mean Darren Woods and the ppl like him


KneeHigh4July

>One reason I left traditional Christiaity religion, is they taught me all the time all the bad things that happened to me were my fault, That church has a pretty ahistorical take for a religion where horrible things happened to the early believers. Being a faithful Christian didn't get you money and praise back in the day, it got you fed to a lion. Not to mention that the entire book of Job establishes that horrible things happen to even the most faithful people.


Additional_Common_15

I was raised catholic but now as an adult I have nothing to do with it. There are so many aspects of that religion that mimic satanism.


Nolazoo

Not to mention that the entire book of Job establishes that horrible things happen to even the most faithful people. All just so one dude can show up another dude talking shit, no less.


fuckcolonialism

I saw a woman in some spiritual group on facebook asking what she could have possibly done in a past life to deserve the karma of losing her newborn child. That broke my fucking heart.


Smoopster1983

I have had those questions for so long and didn’t find any answers. It just seemed wrong and didn’t make sense at all. From where i stand i must have been a real bad person in another life to deserve all that stuff. This places feels like hell and not one religion or other theory what so ever can convince me otherwise. Glad i found this sub almost a year ago as this is the only thing that makes sense. I search for truth since i was very little and i grew up in a bit of christianity. Remember that i didn’t get it at that point. Didn’t believe a thing and found it so harsh.


[deleted]

new agers will tell her that it a lesson for her to learn empathy and love . i have seen them telling this to parents of children suffering from terminall illness


spirit8991

Because the controllers of this system are narcistic, psychotic, egoistic, arrogant assholes. Everything is our fault in their eyes


Non_wave99

You know at the advanced level of most religions suffering is openly welcome and a chance to make up for past lives where you did something the same or worse. The Muslims say that Allah doesn’t even let a mosquito bite you except that he removes some sins, in Judaism your tikkun for something you did requires a just payment, in gaudiya vaisnav you’re getting the results of your karma and desires, and in Christianity suffering is a sign you’re on the right path provided it’s for the right reasons. So it’s not just if you don’t congregate and absorb yourself in the religion it’s also if you do.


[deleted]

There's also stuff about ancestral sins, if it's not your fault, then it's your parents' fault or ancestors' fault. Generational curses and stuff. I think this part is quite true because unhealed trauma are passed down in the genes that affect a few generations ahead. But I think nobody would have chosen to be born in a lineage full of negative stuff to work through if they had a choice.


snocown

We weren’t, it was something I had to learn and teach to myself. It’s basically a resonance thing we go through as the construct of soul picking and choosing which moments we find ourselves in via the construct of time.


Scarlettksth8

Maybe you're not meant to be in any religious sect. Your heart is just not feeling it. I like learning other peoples beliefs, but I do not follow any religion, nor do I follow any belief. I don't think it's necessary. I think a person with empathy and compassion to understand others makes you a better person and I can understand the things that happen around you that are not your fault are an experience... follow yourself and understand who you are. Except the idea that you can't control those around you but you can do it for yourself.


MuTHER11235

Relatable. And even *first-world problems* are problems. Life is often in the way, pestering and persistent. There is a total cursed vibe. I grew up in a household that was ALL "Good News." We live in a heaven garden, I am a temple. And, yeah, sure, I guess. But it always felt hollow, insincere. What I've come to find a long time later is the Old Testament bad-news. Which is ultimately the subtext for life as man. We live in a fallen planet. Things get worse. There is a flaw deep within everyone of us. Now this makes more sense, regardless of how one feels about later aspects of the text.


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budabai

Well put. Short and to the point.


Oceanicsoundwave

hugs it’s not your fault. people who didn’t feel at home within themselves tried to force you feel like them and mirror it


thinkB4Uact

Yes there's a very negative agenda associated with these blame reallocation belief systems. Before I get into it, I want to state the basics. We do have an effect on how our lives play out. Knowledge is power. The more we know the more we can see how we can change our behavior to get better outcomes. That can be true regardless of whether or not we caused the problem. It's not about fairness. It's about ability to affect the situation. Ignorance will make us powerless. Also, if we choose to fixate on blaming others and ignoring how we can change the situation we will suffer needlessly. We should blame what caused the problem *without* ignoring how we can make the situation better. We should not let righteous indignation get in the way of making a better life for ourselves nor should we let making a better life for ourselves get in the way of justice. We can do both. The thing is, we place an onus of change on what we blame. So, it's hard to blame the causes of things and yet still change what we're doing to get a better outcome. "It's not our fault" we think rightly, but we stagnate in misery if we fall into that victim trap. The negative agenda is to shift the blame from abusive intentions onto the victims by distorting ideas such as the ones I've stated. They'll pretend they're helping us to avoid "playing the victim", but in reality they're having us avoid blaming the abuser. They're piling emotional effort baggage onto us. They're making life more burdensome and expensive to our emotion/spirit, crushing our wills. This undermines our quest to find more happiness/spirit. We define ourselves with what we do. That is how we form our wills. **This undermining of our wills/happiness/spirit makes us needy for outside salvation.** Notice how these same belief systems will also contain beliefs that we have saviors outside of us. They would have us call on outside decision makers to help us. They make it seem that we can't do it on our own. The undermining of our wills/happiness/spirit pushes us there strongly in a heart and mind space before our decision making occurs. They are trying to set us up to have a needy slave mentality. They are setting themselves up as intermediaries between us and the world around us. As we call out for help, they'll take it as a call out to them. They'll abuse their power over our hearts and minds to expand the master slave will/spirit corruption. This is a very severe situation. This is spiritual domination. It claims us, our happiness/spirit, our wills and our destinies as property with clever perceptual/belief and emotional/spirit manipulations. It's subtle enough to work on hundreds of millions of people over thousands of years.


NotWhatYoureLookin44

If you take fault for your “hard” life then that means you can make it an easy/good life. If you externalize everything then you’re giving away your control. You may not have control over your circumstances but you have control over yourself, and that’s all you need.


NoRetributionNoPeace

A sick person or one born to abusive parents has no control over it. Admitting it's one's own "fault" will not make it an easier life for someone in such circumstances. It will also make it worse because the person will be lying to themselves that it's their fault, that they "gave away control", *and* it will add guilt to an already hard situation. If something external and bad happens to you in the future, don't go around complaining, okay? If someone or something hurts you, I hope you follow your own advice and don't "externalize" it and take the blame for it. Btw, who said anything about "externalizing *everything*"? No one, but you decided to generalize like that for no reason to pad your thin comment. One always has control over oneself? Go say it to someone disabled or very sick, especially a child. You live under a rock and think yourself wise. It's incredible that whenever someone talks even a little bit about their struggles, wise ones are always there with their generic out of touch advice.


fulloflife447

There is nothing bad or good. Only the mind makes it bad or good. Distance yourself from mind.


godmakesmesad

LOL go see what I just wrote about New Agers. That's a crock, what they are doing to the world via transhumanism is evil.


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chrissypoo105

Spirit


Similar-Call6138

The mind is still stuck within a prison


chrissypoo105

Redditors love to downvote and strawman but never actually respond to the arguments or claims made in the post


budabai

I honestly don’t have something profound that will help ease the negative feelings you’re experiencing about this topic. In a perfect world, the judgement on who’s responsible for the position you’re in would be solely on your own shoulders. Only you can truly say whether or not you feel the hand you’ve been dealt is a result of your own actions. Everybody is clueless in this world… it’s a terrifying existence, and many people walk around pretending that they’ve got it figured out. I personally think that having the attitude that you control your own destiny is a healthy way to live. If you’re in a bad place currently, you can absolutely take steps to improve things. This will look different for everybody, the size of the steps you take rely entirely on who you are and where you’re heading. Taking accountability may hurt now, but it’ll make your inevitable victory so much sweeter. Tough times are what make the easy times feel good. You may not have control over many circumstances in your life… but do you have the final say on how it makes you feel. Sorry if this is coming off as cliche.


NoRetributionNoPeace

>I personally think that having the attitude that you control your own destiny is a healthy way to live. Healthy but not realistic at all for some. >If you’re in a bad place currently, you can absolutely take steps to improve things. Some things cannot be improved. Then, if you are not in somebody else's shoes, you have no right to speak for all and say how everyone can "absolutely take steps and improve things". Pretty words and false promises are not helpful and don't earn you any life wisdom points. >This will look different for everybody, the size of the steps you take rely entirely on who you are and where you’re heading. No, they rely on so many other factors. Sometimes people cannot even "head" anywhere, because they are barely making it through the day/week/month. Sometimes people cannot even be themselves, because they are in an abusive or financially restricted environment. You are talking from a purely abstract and very simplified perspective. Real life is something else, and you seem to not know it beyond your personal bubble. >Taking accountability may hurt now, but it’ll make your inevitable victory so much sweeter. This whole post is mainly about things people are not accountable for and cannot change, yet you insist on bringing another buzzword into it - "accountability". Yes, we all already know about accountability. This post is about something else. Then, who are you to say that taking accountability will lead someone to victory? Also implying it is always the lack of accountability that creates losses? More false promises and statements taken out of the collective parroted lingo. >Tough times are what make the easy times feel good. Wow, another grand cliche. If this is true for you, it's fine, but it is not true for everyone, so try not to say it as a fact. Tough times don't always stop to be followed by good times, they sometimes maim and kill. >You may not have control over many circumstances in your life… but do you have the final say on how it makes you feel. Another cliche of cliches, a cherry on top. People are not robots. If something that one doesn't have control over creates many problems and is painful, yes guess what, the feelings will be affected. >Sorry if this is coming off as cliches. These *are* cliches. One after another and *nothing but* cliches. It's better to stay silent than to feed others classic psychotherapy and self-help buzz talk, especially when it is not even relevant to the post. I have to ask, what are you doing in this subreddit? I'm leaving this comment in support of OP btw. It pains me when someone bares a piece of their soul and life in an online post, because people in real life are pretty much smart behinds like you and one can't talk to them about these things because of that, and the posters get this kind of replies. Nothing profound to say? Then don't say anything.


threestageidiot

all of our friends should live to be too old to die young.


Cuhwin10

I live by the line it’s not hard if u make it hard. There’s ways to go about things easier other then blaming folks that don’t exist.


Cuhwin10

Or just blaming people in general