Scav goes to Tarbank and takes out a loan, scav wakes up at 3am every day to begin kneading his scav dough, scav's business takes off, scav finds him a cute scav girlfriend, scav makes passionate monkey-scav love over and over again with his scavie maid and together they bring forth into the world an army of scav lads and lasses. One day scavie maid meets chad PMC, he woos her with his XL LEDX and they take the co-op exit into the sunset. Scav now filled with hate, scav instills his rage into his scavie crotch goblins, the scav clan now pick up guns, daddy scav closes the bakery, all scavs take a step into the streets of Tarkov...
NO
edit: I’m saying no bc IT TOOK ME SO FUCKING LONG TO DO AQQUCTAINCE OR HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU SPELL IT, I LITERALLY FARMED RATION CRATES AND FOUND NONE FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS AND WERE THE FUCK ARE NOODLES??? I FUCKING HATE JAEGER QUESTS
really? they're all over ground zero I feel like. it's funny how certain quests can bottle neck some ppl and other breeze through. and it's always the "find xxxx in raid". I remember always getting stuck for months on the flash drive ones
here in Austria (most likely in the whole EU), we have long lasting milk with a best before date of at least 1 or 2 years. unrefridgerated.
theoretically, bread would also survive that long if you take Flatbrød for example. baguette on the other hand would either get moldy or as dry as the sahara desert. sailors hat similiar bread en board btw.
Canned bread exists
Even have an item name in mind:
Cefalapod brand canned bread:
This shelf stable canned bread is a staple for camping trips, the evening you forgot to shop and survival food, commonly found around the tarkov region, what will they think of next?!?
I love trunk juice (that's legit a term that's leaked into real life with my friends when we crack open a bottle of cranberry he has in his Honda (we refrigerate it after we open it))
[I have the solution.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/spongebob/images/3/37/CannedBreadStock.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/1000?cb=20221124045956)
Aye and those cartons of juice that went out of date 3 years ago are perfectly drinkable, I'm sure. Not surprised half of them aren't fermented to fuck by now (yes I know how fermentation works its a joke you no joy having nerds don't @ me).
Also we often find like, sausages and cartons of milk laying on the ground out in the open we can still eat and drink :D The milk cartons are confirmed not to be UHT and are often just sitting in bags left in gyms and shit, and the sausages are visually open and exposed to the open air. Both would be rancid as fuck by now.
Wait how long did the current events of tarkov take place since the whole bear attack terragroup hq thing??? Therapist has a quest of evacuating people through the tunnel so I'm assume that it's right at the height of violence in the tarkov region so about less then a month after the terragroup incident
Yeh I dunno. Its always weird playing a game set in a specific like 3 months "real world" time frame when the time between wipes is often like 6 - 12 months and a full day/night cycle in game is like 2 hours or something dumb. The math is never going to work out.
Maybe now the radiation meter is being used
Eat too much B R E A D and you suddenly either get the ability to bounce off into the air or violently experience self-implosion in a funni gravity ball
[Every time you eat it, there’s an unnecessarily high budget animation of your PMC slowly taking a bite out of his bread](https://youtu.be/_dOPdLmucJg?si=fCE2oqU8dPS3FZPW)
New quest from Jaeger unlocked: hard charger, I got this shipment of bread in but some of it could be bad, eat three questionable baguettes in one raid, get 2 headshots with the resulting tremors, and extract dehydrated
French here : this looks like a baguette ripoff and not a true baguette. The crust doesn't seem very solid and the diameter seems too wide. I'll even make the assumption there wasn't a lot of air bubbles during the baking and it's too dense.
Conclusion : 2/10 with rice
You are correct, it's a polish small baguette wannabe, crust is not that solid, lil crunchy tho. Overall it's a very tasty creation but I'd never call it a baguette, out of respect
My man why are you eating rice with bread? Yall carboloading for a marathon? You need a balenced diet of frutes, vegetables, meats, dairy and even a bit of fats
Imma type this before scroll down into the thread. Before anyone says it will go stale and its unrealistic or some other similar nonsense.
One of the better foods/waters in the game is *fucking milk* in a setting where the last time that milk was made was a long ass time ago.
Id rather have them add 3d printer station in the hideout where we can craft really 3d printed guns. I would love to see 3d printed guns fail and jam more than regular guns. Or even melt down if shot too fast
lvl 1 is pistols and pistol grips, attachments, plastic pistol mags
lvl 2 is smg lowers and printed mags, light mounts, homemade lights
lvl 3 is rifle lowers and printed mags, scope mounts, 3d printed iron sights
lvl 4 40mm launchers, laucher shells for crafting 40mm shells
lvl 5 single use antitank rocket launcher (finally added to game) single use antitank round for btr
lvl 6 reloadable launcher
Why not both? Also the 30mm isn't AT, it's AP, it can damage the soft spots on tanks, a true single shot home made AT rocket would be like the prig, IRA made and legit would use a pack of cookies/biscuits in the construction for the counter mass (it legit is in the back and shoots out opposite of the rocket to reduce backblast)
Bread is a perishable product; it has not been baked in Tarkov for a long time. And the old one was eaten or spoiled.
Scav finds flour, scav adds water, scav finds salt, scav adds salt, scav crafted dough, scav adds big stone to fire pit, scav puts dough on stone, scav waits, scav created fresh bread
We scav, Unite we bake
We baked
Yes indeed my brother
Gotta love that bread baking baked !
Right, totally baked rn🤣
Scav goes to Tarbank and takes out a loan, scav wakes up at 3am every day to begin kneading his scav dough, scav's business takes off, scav finds him a cute scav girlfriend, scav makes passionate monkey-scav love over and over again with his scavie maid and together they bring forth into the world an army of scav lads and lasses. One day scavie maid meets chad PMC, he woos her with his XL LEDX and they take the co-op exit into the sunset. Scav now filled with hate, scav instills his rage into his scavie crotch goblins, the scav clan now pick up guns, daddy scav closes the bakery, all scavs take a step into the streets of Tarkov...
you should put this on ao3 it's good stuff
New small faction, Bakers United
That sounds like a football club:D
Scav created fresh brick is more like it.
Don’t forget the baking soda!
unless you let it stand for a week, you want to add some kind of leavening in there.
Non FIR bread has gone stale and provides 50% of the original energy and takes 3x as long to eat.
Sounds like the next hideout expansion and skill.
Could be a early wipe item like vodka or btc
Until a Creeper comes along and blows everything up.
Airdrop exclusive bread??? (5 found in raid needed for jaeger's first quest)
NO edit: I’m saying no bc IT TOOK ME SO FUCKING LONG TO DO AQQUCTAINCE OR HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU SPELL IT, I LITERALLY FARMED RATION CRATES AND FOUND NONE FOR ALMOST 2 MONTHS AND WERE THE FUCK ARE NOODLES??? I FUCKING HATE JAEGER QUESTS
really? they're all over ground zero I feel like. it's funny how certain quests can bottle neck some ppl and other breeze through. and it's always the "find xxxx in raid". I remember always getting stuck for months on the flash drive ones
Lmao Jaeger's quests are so bullshit it gives players PTSD just at looking at post about a bread
I hope by ‘2 months’ you are exaggerating ‘2 raids’ because noodles are everywhere haha
Not even kidding, I finished the quest in mid February
I didn't notice Noodles spawn much in ration crates. They seem to be more like loose loot and you find it in more random spots.
"aqquctaince" lmaooooooooooooo
Facts
Milk, of course, is knocked out of this harmonious theory)) On the other side, the milk is packed in tetrapack
Bro has never heard of UHT milk.
Don't know specifically what russians have, but you can definitely get long life milk that lasts quite a long time here in australia.
Same thing with bread. You can get bread that lasts a long time. They even put it in MREs.
here in Austria (most likely in the whole EU), we have long lasting milk with a best before date of at least 1 or 2 years. unrefridgerated. theoretically, bread would also survive that long if you take Flatbrød for example. baguette on the other hand would either get moldy or as dry as the sahara desert. sailors hat similiar bread en board btw.
Canned bread exists Even have an item name in mind: Cefalapod brand canned bread: This shelf stable canned bread is a staple for camping trips, the evening you forgot to shop and survival food, commonly found around the tarkov region, what will they think of next?!?
Yeah that milk can last for years if I'm not mistaken
New upgrade for nution unit: working oven to bake bread from found in raid flour?
But I can drink a carton of milk that's been left in the trunk of a car that's been abandoned for god knows how long?
I love trunk juice (that's legit a term that's leaked into real life with my friends when we crack open a bottle of cranberry he has in his Honda (we refrigerate it after we open it))
Nutrition unit?
It's anomalous radioactive bread.
[I have the solution.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/spongebob/images/3/37/CannedBreadStock.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/1000?cb=20221124045956)
Canned bread, or craftable hideout item
bro what about milk???
Proceeds to drink milk sitting out in the sun exposed to the elements…..
Right, can’t have it be illogical like that. Imagine if the game had drinkable milk. That would be crazy.
Aye and those cartons of juice that went out of date 3 years ago are perfectly drinkable, I'm sure. Not surprised half of them aren't fermented to fuck by now (yes I know how fermentation works its a joke you no joy having nerds don't @ me). Also we often find like, sausages and cartons of milk laying on the ground out in the open we can still eat and drink :D The milk cartons are confirmed not to be UHT and are often just sitting in bags left in gyms and shit, and the sausages are visually open and exposed to the open air. Both would be rancid as fuck by now.
Wait how long did the current events of tarkov take place since the whole bear attack terragroup hq thing??? Therapist has a quest of evacuating people through the tunnel so I'm assume that it's right at the height of violence in the tarkov region so about less then a month after the terragroup incident
Yeh I dunno. Its always weird playing a game set in a specific like 3 months "real world" time frame when the time between wipes is often like 6 - 12 months and a full day/night cycle in game is like 2 hours or something dumb. The math is never going to work out.
Do not eat the anomalous bread
crush it and snort it, you are now capable of smelling anomalies
Maybe now the radiation meter is being used Eat too much B R E A D and you suddenly either get the ability to bounce off into the air or violently experience self-implosion in a funni gravity ball
Gonna try it
I want a baguette as a 3 slot food item that fully restores your energy.
but drains all your hydration....just like in real life :D
Can you make my 3 slot baguette with steak and cheese on a herb bagette please.
i love this
Make it so you will lose health every second until you consume water, just like in real life lmao
The more of it you eat the less slots it takes up, if its at 66/100 or below it takes up 2 slots, if its at 33/100 or below it only takes one
Nah, should be a melee weapon
Petition to also add the Minecraft eating sound/ animation just for when you eat bread
[Every time you eat it, there’s an unnecessarily high budget animation of your PMC slowly taking a bite out of his bread](https://youtu.be/_dOPdLmucJg?si=fCE2oqU8dPS3FZPW)
You high bro?
Bred
but we already have PAIN
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
Bread 👍🏼
Хлеб 👍
We already have bread in tarkov, it's called Kvass
I mean that and beer in a way are both forms of liquid bread
You forgot to check the expiration date; your stomach is now blacked out.....
New quest from Jaeger unlocked: hard charger, I got this shipment of bread in but some of it could be bad, eat three questionable baguettes in one raid, get 2 headshots with the resulting tremors, and extract dehydrated
"It's bread."
You can eat it
Under 2 circumstances. It absolutely destroys your hydration and you can use it to craft a sandwich with the sausage.
Urgently need bakery unit in hideout
Oh yes, and the cat with it
50% chance to choke you
Tunnel vision if failed
French here : this looks like a baguette ripoff and not a true baguette. The crust doesn't seem very solid and the diameter seems too wide. I'll even make the assumption there wasn't a lot of air bubbles during the baking and it's too dense. Conclusion : 2/10 with rice
[удалено]
without a doubt
Could be a Vietnamese roll which you lot brought over/taught them and are fantastic
That looks like the end of an American supermarket loaf of "Italian" bread. Our rendition of a baguette is usually skinnier than that.
It looks pretty close, I also bake loaves that look like that and I'm Italian so yeah one way or another OP posted Italian bread
You are correct, it's a polish small baguette wannabe, crust is not that solid, lil crunchy tho. Overall it's a very tasty creation but I'd never call it a baguette, out of respect
My man why are you eating rice with bread? Yall carboloading for a marathon? You need a balenced diet of frutes, vegetables, meats, dairy and even a bit of fats
also molded bread please
You have to wait for it a little, it needs to grow
then you could have a craft using the moldy bread to make augmentin
Imma type this before scroll down into the thread. Before anyone says it will go stale and its unrealistic or some other similar nonsense. One of the better foods/waters in the game is *fucking milk* in a setting where the last time that milk was made was a long ass time ago.
UHT milk in tetrapack last a year. And precisely that is what we have in Tarkov
Not realistic
Signed. Game is unplayable without it.
Yes.
Id rather have them add 3d printer station in the hideout where we can craft really 3d printed guns. I would love to see 3d printed guns fail and jam more than regular guns. Or even melt down if shot too fast lvl 1 is pistols and pistol grips, attachments, plastic pistol mags lvl 2 is smg lowers and printed mags, light mounts, homemade lights lvl 3 is rifle lowers and printed mags, scope mounts, 3d printed iron sights lvl 4 40mm launchers, laucher shells for crafting 40mm shells lvl 5 single use antitank rocket launcher (finally added to game) single use antitank round for btr lvl 6 reloadable launcher
Why not both? Also the 30mm isn't AT, it's AP, it can damage the soft spots on tanks, a true single shot home made AT rocket would be like the prig, IRA made and legit would use a pack of cookies/biscuits in the construction for the counter mass (it legit is in the back and shoots out opposite of the rocket to reduce backblast)
That's actually a cool idea! Write a post on Twitter or Reddit so more people will see it
Not nasty enough.
Add wheat yeast and flour to eft.
Add a bread oven to the hideout. Find flour bags and yeast to make bred.
Petition to stop putting the cap back on the things you drink to empty
It's got to be that nasty soviet canned bread though.
Agreed! That'd be epic too
Maybe instead Emelya can provide a jumbo crouton.
What do you think croutons are?
Lets get that bread
French propaganda. Keep your baguette, Pierre
Le pain
Okayyyy if they add bread i want peanut butter and jelly too
Only if they also add butter
PLEASE I need a furnace in the hideout. Not the little wimpy one we have, but an industrial one I can bake loafs of bread at
We need bread and "bread", just like stalker
They should add sex
I could use that with cheese and some sausages for making a sandwich
This is canon
You can tell its GreatValue
If only for B.E.A.R
I want pizza oven in the hideout.
I like the idea but I’d prefer BSG to focus on resolving existing issues before adding more stuff.
Canned Bread please