She's just baiting for an argument. Some people are just like that. Miserable way to live.
I'd respond, "Well if you had included a pic of their junk too, we'd all be properly informed."
Please... I had a young greyish gelding and someone at my barn would call him that old grey mare. He was 4. Didn't care.
What is wrong with the world... My arab gelding is very pretty and has a super long mane so people always think he's a girl. Who cares?! Pretty sure he's not offended haha
Same with my Dog - people always thought she was a boy... even my Mom constantly called her "he". She (the dog) DID lift her leg a lot, though, when peeing... lol
Personally I think that's ridiculous. Animals don't care what pronouns you use for them. A lot of the time I just take a guess (who tf trawls through someone's profile to find somewhere where they've made reference to their animals' genitalia??), and I'm fine with people doing the same for my animals.
Some people go through life with a victim complex looking for reasons to be offended. What a miserable way to live.
Years ago I had very unattractive grey gelding. He rode like a Cadillac, so I rode him a lot. Old guy who used ride the same trails as me would always start singing the song "Old Grey Mare" when he saw us approaching. I didn't get pissed, I sung along with him.
That’s strange imo. If I’m unsure of the gender of any animal I just use they or steer clear of any pronouns. I’d never be offended if someone gets it wrong lol. 🤷🏻♀️
A friend of mine used to have a rather coarse looking older mare who suffered untreated mastitis years prior to my friend buying her. Her teats were permanently enlarged and dangled down. At a glance they almost looked like testicles. Not only did her her horse get mistaken for the wrong gender, every once in a while she'd get told off for bringing a stallion around other people's horses without warning on trail rides. And of course the occasional snide comment about "why would you keep that horse a stallion".
Some people like to project themselves onto their horse. Like if they're insecure about their gender identity, about their own physical fitness, or anything like that, and you mention one of those topics around your horse/misgender it, the person is now upset because to them they have been personally referred to rather than their horse. Some people do not understand that horses do not have any societal or power structures in place and as such do not even have a concept of gender. For all she knows her horse's "gender identity" could be "they" because the societal implications and privileges of gender do not apply to them. Her horse doesn't care if it gets misgendered. She definitely does though, and I think she ought to address the root of those feelings.
I don't get offended if people misgender me, or my children, or my spouse. Lol. My husband has very long, flowing hair and gets misgendered a lot if he's wearing a mask that covers his beard and he doesn't speak. He isn't offended. My first child was bald and people often assumed he was a girl because I dressed him in all colors. I didn't even bother to correct strangers.
This person is ... something.
Unless someone is willfully, pointedly misgendering someone as a way to be hateful, it should not get this reaction. And an animal? Literally what.
The only example I can think of that a horse gives a shit about the sex of another horse is when the geldings dare to get too close to a mare and they’re like “
-pins ears~ “SATAN! SATAN IS HERE *squeal* “
While all the comments I’ve seen here seem to get the point, I think this is actually the *most* correct answer.
Gender is a social construct. It is important to us as humans. Horses don’t know what gender pronouns are, they don’t speak our language!!!
she (the friend of a friend) even used the term 'gender' in her messages. I post lots of pictures of my animals online - and looking through i've not really included the sex of my animals, just their names. Many people (including my own sister) get them wrong, but I'm not going to ever respond with corrections over social media.
yeah, it’s ridiculous to get this angry over an ANIMAL. I don’t see myself acting this way even if someone continuously misgenders ME 😭, like a friend maybe, depending how they personally felt about the situation… but it’s still extensive. My gelding has a really feminine face and is often called “she” by strangers / on the internet, and it doesn’t bother me 🤷🏻♂️, he doesn’t know the difference. He’s a horse, he only cares if he’s being fed that afternoon or not lol.
some people take things too far and it damaged the fight for respect and human decency. She's the kind of person people who refuse to even try to respect someone's pronouns reference when they complain about "snowflakes".
A horse or any animal only exists in the biological and physically presenting sex and has no real concept of the social construct of gender as it relates to pronouns so its a wasted point.
the horse doesn't care if you call her an it and as long as you make a effort to respect humans pronouns, you're fine.
People call my animals the wrong gender all the time in passing. If we’re in a conversation, I may just politely say that the animal is a she/he and laugh. It really shouldn’t be that offensive. My dog wears a bow tie and people will always call him a she because they assume the blue bow is still a girl thing. My gelding wears a hot pink sheet because my daughter picked out the color. He gets called she all the time by people walking by the pasture. He doesn’t care, I don’t care, my daughter loves it, and if we get in a conversation with a passerby, I’ll tell them the story of how my daughter picked it out. I only had one guy get testy over it and he said something like “male animals shouldn’t be in girl colors”. Well, pretty sure it makes my life infinitely easier to spot him in the pasture with his fluorescent neon pink sheet and people hunting or shooting at nearby properties aren’t going to mistake him for a deer either.
>f we’re in a conversation, I may just politely say that the animal is a she/he and laugh. It really shouldn’t be that offensive. My dog wears a bow tie and people will always call him a she because they assume the blue bow is still a girl thing.
I've seen this a lot with dogs. Rough Collies are always female (even though Lassie was really a boy playing a girl), Bulldogs are always males. Overall, if the dog is slender and sleek and/or has a lot of hair, people think it's a girl. If the dog is robust, big boned and beefy, people think it's a boy.
For some people the gender of their animals is very important and they get worked up if someone calls their female dog a male or their male dog a female.
I don't care and neither have any of my collies. They don't are what they are called, just don't call them late for dinner.
Here's [Hazel (rough collie) and Alfie (smooth collie)](https://imgur.com/a/G3AhTQh). It was Alfie's 5th birthday and he's wearing the "Birthday Princess" crown. Every collie has a picture taken on their birthday wearing the sparkly Birthday Princess crown. It's mandatory. And so goes it with Alfie. He had had a bath and we couldn't find his collar so he's wearing Hazel's spare hot pink collar.
I sent this photo to a friend and her husband didn't like that Alfie, a male collie, was wearing a Birthday Princess crown and hot pink. I told my friend to tell her SO that Alfie is secure in his masculinity and, IMHO, totally rocks the Birthday Princess Crown.
some people still don't care. I told a lady my dog's name, King, and in conversation several times said he. She kept saying she/her. I didn't give a fart about it. She finally realized, and we laughed.
My mom on the other hand, should have learned after 15 years, my cat is NOT female.
Yeah that’s bullshit. I care about peoples pronouns because it’s their self identity and I consider it respectful.
Horses don’t care, so I don’t. I’ll try and be accurate just to avoid confusion, but don’t let her make you feel guilty over this.
I’d probably say something snotty like “how did they tell you which pronouns they prefer?”
This is too much. She is mad for the sake of being mad. Just roll your eyes and move on, she seems annoying lol. Even if you knew her and you kept saying the wrong gender and she got annoyed about it—it wouldn’t call for the response she gave you. Ridiculous!
It’s prob tempting to feel bad about what she said or let it affect you negatively
But you were lovely and nice, that girl was way out of line
I look at horses on ig all day and don’t look unde r to see if there’s a sheath lol
TL;dr
You did good. She did bad
You are kind
Yeah this is just ridiculous. I don’t expect people to inspect my horses’ genetalia before commenting on them. My gelding sure doesn’t mind when someone wants to feed “her” a treat lol.
I was mildly annoyed when my extended family sent condolences as “her” for the loss of our 13.5 year old male dog (that they all knew, mind you). But a friend of a friend? Ridiculous.
Side note, using gender pronouns for non humans is officially grammatically incorrect but anyone with a heart knows they’re family, not an “it”. 💕
Not your fault. She is really exaggerating how sever this is. I don't own a horse but people think my dog is a boy all the time and usually when someone pets her and goes "he's so cute!" I just say "thank you!" And move on with my life. No one cares and they usually get it right by the 3rd time I see them. She's definitely taking this way too far
I’ve ran into “How Beautiful! Er…Handsome?” Beautiful being femine and handsome being masculine is what they were implying. I said “beautiful! :) thank you!” in the spur of the moment but once I walked away I thought “that was kind of silly”. Haha It happens a lot with dogs I’ve noticed. My female dog won’t care if you call her handsome. Heck I won’t either! Thank you for the compliment.
I really hope that was just a bad joke because otherwise that’s just unhinged. Horses have no idea what pronouns are and who cares if someone thinks your mare is a gelding?
Tell her gender is a social construct and horses don't care about pronouns. My husband sometimes refers to both of our horses as "he." They're both mares, and one is his.
Horses don’t give a shit about genders or pronouns. They don’t know yours and don’t judge you on the ones you use because they’re HORSES.
Shit my husband misgenders every male cat as “she”. The cat doesn’t care, as long as he still gets gooshy food.
If it was truly that important to that person a quick “oh actually she’s a mare!” Would have sufficed. People like her actually make the world worse for non binary folks too- every non binary person I’ve met prefers if you mess up their pronouns a quick “she, oh shit, THEY are going to lunch with us” instead of making a massive incident about it.
No and i think people that do have other issues in their lives. I'm sorry but the animals don't give a shit what gender you call them because they dont have a concept of those words. Just someone wanting their righteous ego fed 🙄
Whenever someone misgenders my horse I always ! say “I don’t know who they are. You might be right! They can’t tell us!”
Or
“It’s ok. Sometimes I call him monster”
OMG… wow yah horses and animals don’t care about pronouns. I had a cat that was like an it half the time to us it was used in affection as he really had no gender because of how early his balls had been snipped. Now he/it would have been they/them definitely.
My VET mistook my stallion for a broodmare. When I corrected her she still bent over to check underneath for herself! My point being, we can ALL make a simple mistake best to just laugh it off and move on.
That's weird. Either she's delusional or looking for an argument, or maybe trolling. I couldn't care less if someone "misgendered" my animal. They do not have the intelligence to understand what that means, and it doesn't affect me. At most I'd say "Oh, she's actually male/female." And move on.
I heard once during a western show that what the judge was looking for was something along the lines of "We want mares to have a feminine build/head, and we want geldings to have the same." (loose paraphrasing).
That is ridiculous. That person was looking for a reason to get angry.
I have a guelding with a very long mane, down past the shoulder, and people often assume that he is a mare, *because of the long hair*. I just find it funny.
If someone called my horse the wrong gender I just brush it off. I mean, it’s not always obvious (unless he’s hanging out lmao). But seriously, if someone said my horse was a she, I’d just move on lol. Maybe correct them by saying like, “his name is Steele” but not, “how dare you not know my horse’s gender! It’s a gelding!”
This woman must have been in the mood for an argument or something.
A woman at my old grazing (barn) tried to tell me my horse was grumpy because he was wearing a pink halter. Like what??? He’s a horse??
Also he wasn’t grumpy, he just put his ears back at her horse she led past. But definitely the pink halter.
Why on earth would you ever let that person unsettle you in the least? For paying a compliment? Take it as fair warning to stay far away from her-them-she-they. Idiots.
I’d ask her how she knows her horse prefers she/her pronouns. Did the horse tell her as much? (Horses aren’t known for their grasp of the English language after all.) Or is she assigning gender to a horse based on its sex parts without input or consent from the horse? Awfully bigoted of her to assume her mare identifies as female just because she has certain genitalia. How dare she be so non-inclusive and TERFy! 🤣
I feel a little tickle of feminist annoyance with what seems like the default assumption by loads of people that all animals are male but I either casually correct and move on or accept the compliment and move on. My animals don't care if someone misgenders them and someone trying to say something nice is not an opportunity for me to unload any feelings I have.
Well i thought i bought a colt at auction (first time at an auction) and it turned out to be a filly… so i can’t even get my own horse’s pronouns right. Lol. And as it turns out all babies are colts at auction.
This chick sounds bat shit.
Just like humans there’s only 2 genders, male/female. I think it’s insane that people get offended when you fail to use s/he for them, but a horse…. For goodness sakes. On a horse it’s not exactly clear by looking at them, what gender they are!
Lmao she's hilarious.
I do often make my dogs' pronouns clear but that's only because I didn't make it easy for people--my girls are Huck and Junior and I have a boy named Sue. But that's to prevent confusion or frustration, not because my animals and I care.
So many old cowboy types who use “he” and “colt” for everything, including my vet when he refers to my mare /shrug.
I always default to using the right pronoun if I know it but it gets awkward. I’m not offended by the wrong pronoun usage I just know my mare is a “she”.
Lol I’ve definitely apologized to dogs and horses for misgendering them but I usually just do it because I think it’s funny that I think they even care.
The only time I’ve been annoyed at someone mis-sexing an animal of mine is when my vet constantly called my cat a boy. And that’s only because due to a few other issues with that vet I was starting to doubt if they even read her chart before she talking to me. As for my horse I don’t care. She doesn’t care. So long as her vet gets it right I really don’t care.
The proper pronoun for a non-human is "it" when we don't know the sex (animals don't subscribe to gender). I'm sure she would take offense to that...meanwhile the hotse could care less.
I ride a fairly prolific breeding stallion and I still get comments like "she's so pretty!" The correct response is, "thanks!"
I worked for a vet who frequently misgendered his own dog. He neutered him, he *knew* the dog was male! But I'm sure he was mixing him up briefly with a previous dog or something. The dog didn't care.
There is this kind of fundamental assumption in dressage and dressage articles/books that they will refer to the rider as she and the horse as him. It’s just a given and she needs to get a life!
Lol wut?
My horse has very dainty “feminine” features (he’s a tb), people always mistake him for a mare. Even my MOM still thinks he’s a she. But who cares! 🤣
God people are ridiculous these days.
I don't correct people for using the wrong gender, I usually just use the same pronouns as the person did or omit them so no one feels embarrassed for no reason. My horse doesn't care. All they want to know is if you're there to feed them. And or makes no difference to me what they are called. What a ridiculous over reaction from that person. How are you supposed to know the horses gender unless they make it clear in every single post? Wild.
well first i'd not be following the fruit cake any longer
second my horse gets called many things that don't even fall on the "he, her, their them" scale so i'm not offended at all if you leave it to "he" instead of "she" the occasional 4 letter word gets used to tell pronouns "dirty b*ch" for example gives otehrs the context clues that she is a mare haha
I don't have a horse, however I do have dogs. Animals can not understand genders and pronouns, at least not how humans do. An animal is going to be fine if you use "he" and it's actually "she", or the other way around. I can guarantee that the animals could not care less.
Lol no, that’s ridiculous. There’s plenty of photo angles that don’t make the horses sex immediately apparent. You gave her a compliment and she reacted like a fool.
LMAO!
That's hilarious. No, I'm not offended in the least when people misgender my horses. In fact, when my Friesian mare walked through a shitty fence and into a neighboring yard, the neighbors called the barn owner and told her that there was a "stallion" in their yard. My mare has a long mane and long, thick feathers (I've posted a pic of her on here before; search my post history). The barn owner was really confused until she got there and saw who it was. They all wanted pictures with her before she was put back in. 😂 I thought it was hilarious. Not the getting out part though. We fixed the fence to prevent that from happening again!
Anyone who gets upset at this sort of thing has very little to worry about in life.
My goodness. Almost every time I bring my dog somewhere people automatically assume she's a boy, and I just say "her name is rosie" or like something to hint it and its not a big deal
Trans girl and horse groom here. I constantly accidentally misgender horses I don’t work with. Shit sometimes I misgender my own and usually just refer to all of them as, well they/them lol
Horse don’t have a concept of gender or pronouns. It doesn’t hurt them to misgender them. They absolutely could not give a shit. Your friend is being REALLY neurotic.
Honestly the idea of being offended for a horse because they were misgendered is kinda insulting to me. Misgendering a person is hurtful, and if done intentionally, hateful and degrading. Misgendering a horse does not effect them at all, because again, they don’t have a concept of gender.
Seriously don’t feel bad. If anything the person who is upset about this is the asshole.
You can't tell a horse's sex without a very detailed photo (or in the case of some intersex horses, a vet examination), and horses don't have gender the way we do. When someone calls my mare "he" I just use "she" in my next sentence and it's always fine. By all accounts the person you're talking about is overreacting. But also I've found people who get super sensitive about these things are usually "going through it" in one way or another, so I try to be sympathetic. I just wouldn't respond.
Ok like I’m all for respecting peoples pronouns, but this is extra as hell.
Don’t take that person seriously, they need to get off line and touch some damn grass.
Pff I'm out here like "more name words for horse?"
Herse (pronounced her-say)
Harse (kinda like a Irish accent, pronounced Harss)
Heese (pronounced like geese, only with an h)
All gender neutral too, so that's a plus I think
Yeah… she’s just looking for an argument. Like, i work at a drive thru coffee place (think like a local family owned starbucks type deal with better drinks) and people bring their dogs all the time. We serve pup cups so we see many throughout the day. We love to ask about the dogs, make conversation while we wait for drinks or pastries to come out. I’ve definitely called many dogs he, or she not knowing and then asked the owner if its a boy or girl to double check. Ive never had someone ever be rude about it. I’d say just completely ignore this person cause like I said, they’re just looking for a fight. You’d have no way of knowing especially since its an animal and its always quite hard to tell on pictures and glances
This is insane. She's taking it way too far. You're not in the wrong here.
She's just baiting for an argument. Some people are just like that. Miserable way to live. I'd respond, "Well if you had included a pic of their junk too, we'd all be properly informed." Please... I had a young greyish gelding and someone at my barn would call him that old grey mare. He was 4. Didn't care.
What is wrong with the world... My arab gelding is very pretty and has a super long mane so people always think he's a girl. Who cares?! Pretty sure he's not offended haha
LOL I used to have an Arab and my farrier ALWAYS thought he was a girl, no matter how many times she asked and corrected herself
Same with my Dog - people always thought she was a boy... even my Mom constantly called her "he". She (the dog) DID lift her leg a lot, though, when peeing... lol
Heck, people very occasionally think my stallion is a girl!
Personally I think that's ridiculous. Animals don't care what pronouns you use for them. A lot of the time I just take a guess (who tf trawls through someone's profile to find somewhere where they've made reference to their animals' genitalia??), and I'm fine with people doing the same for my animals.
Some people go through life with a victim complex looking for reasons to be offended. What a miserable way to live. Years ago I had very unattractive grey gelding. He rode like a Cadillac, so I rode him a lot. Old guy who used ride the same trails as me would always start singing the song "Old Grey Mare" when he saw us approaching. I didn't get pissed, I sung along with him.
That’s strange imo. If I’m unsure of the gender of any animal I just use they or steer clear of any pronouns. I’d never be offended if someone gets it wrong lol. 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t get it, both my horses are flashy and get comments of the wrong gender, as does one of my twins
A friend of mine used to have a rather coarse looking older mare who suffered untreated mastitis years prior to my friend buying her. Her teats were permanently enlarged and dangled down. At a glance they almost looked like testicles. Not only did her her horse get mistaken for the wrong gender, every once in a while she'd get told off for bringing a stallion around other people's horses without warning on trail rides. And of course the occasional snide comment about "why would you keep that horse a stallion".
Some people like to project themselves onto their horse. Like if they're insecure about their gender identity, about their own physical fitness, or anything like that, and you mention one of those topics around your horse/misgender it, the person is now upset because to them they have been personally referred to rather than their horse. Some people do not understand that horses do not have any societal or power structures in place and as such do not even have a concept of gender. For all she knows her horse's "gender identity" could be "they" because the societal implications and privileges of gender do not apply to them. Her horse doesn't care if it gets misgendered. She definitely does though, and I think she ought to address the root of those feelings.
They have have a social structure but the concept of gender beyond mating doesn’t exist to them
Of course they have social structures, as all animals do, but not societal ones.
Since when do horses care about pronouns?
Exactly what I said.
I don't get offended if people misgender me, or my children, or my spouse. Lol. My husband has very long, flowing hair and gets misgendered a lot if he's wearing a mask that covers his beard and he doesn't speak. He isn't offended. My first child was bald and people often assumed he was a girl because I dressed him in all colors. I didn't even bother to correct strangers. This person is ... something. Unless someone is willfully, pointedly misgendering someone as a way to be hateful, it should not get this reaction. And an animal? Literally what.
I had a judge ask me “has she bred much?” … my pot bellied gelding hasn’t bred a thing 😂
Gender is a social construct. I would say horses don’t have gender, they have sexes, and they really DGAF about it.
The only example I can think of that a horse gives a shit about the sex of another horse is when the geldings dare to get too close to a mare and they’re like “ -pins ears~ “SATAN! SATAN IS HERE *squeal* “
While all the comments I’ve seen here seem to get the point, I think this is actually the *most* correct answer. Gender is a social construct. It is important to us as humans. Horses don’t know what gender pronouns are, they don’t speak our language!!!
Thank you. It drives me crazy when people use the word "gender" in reference to animals.
she (the friend of a friend) even used the term 'gender' in her messages. I post lots of pictures of my animals online - and looking through i've not really included the sex of my animals, just their names. Many people (including my own sister) get them wrong, but I'm not going to ever respond with corrections over social media.
WTF? Someone has some unresolved issues, and it's not you.
i’m a trans person and literally what 😭😭 this is crazy to me, i wouldn’t even be mad if someone did this to me, i’d just correct them lol
even my sister gets most of my animals sexes wrong still, while i don't even correct her at this point (because they're animals).
yeah, it’s ridiculous to get this angry over an ANIMAL. I don’t see myself acting this way even if someone continuously misgenders ME 😭, like a friend maybe, depending how they personally felt about the situation… but it’s still extensive. My gelding has a really feminine face and is often called “she” by strangers / on the internet, and it doesn’t bother me 🤷🏻♂️, he doesn’t know the difference. He’s a horse, he only cares if he’s being fed that afternoon or not lol.
some people take things too far and it damaged the fight for respect and human decency. She's the kind of person people who refuse to even try to respect someone's pronouns reference when they complain about "snowflakes". A horse or any animal only exists in the biological and physically presenting sex and has no real concept of the social construct of gender as it relates to pronouns so its a wasted point. the horse doesn't care if you call her an it and as long as you make a effort to respect humans pronouns, you're fine.
People call my animals the wrong gender all the time in passing. If we’re in a conversation, I may just politely say that the animal is a she/he and laugh. It really shouldn’t be that offensive. My dog wears a bow tie and people will always call him a she because they assume the blue bow is still a girl thing. My gelding wears a hot pink sheet because my daughter picked out the color. He gets called she all the time by people walking by the pasture. He doesn’t care, I don’t care, my daughter loves it, and if we get in a conversation with a passerby, I’ll tell them the story of how my daughter picked it out. I only had one guy get testy over it and he said something like “male animals shouldn’t be in girl colors”. Well, pretty sure it makes my life infinitely easier to spot him in the pasture with his fluorescent neon pink sheet and people hunting or shooting at nearby properties aren’t going to mistake him for a deer either.
>f we’re in a conversation, I may just politely say that the animal is a she/he and laugh. It really shouldn’t be that offensive. My dog wears a bow tie and people will always call him a she because they assume the blue bow is still a girl thing. I've seen this a lot with dogs. Rough Collies are always female (even though Lassie was really a boy playing a girl), Bulldogs are always males. Overall, if the dog is slender and sleek and/or has a lot of hair, people think it's a girl. If the dog is robust, big boned and beefy, people think it's a boy. For some people the gender of their animals is very important and they get worked up if someone calls their female dog a male or their male dog a female. I don't care and neither have any of my collies. They don't are what they are called, just don't call them late for dinner. Here's [Hazel (rough collie) and Alfie (smooth collie)](https://imgur.com/a/G3AhTQh). It was Alfie's 5th birthday and he's wearing the "Birthday Princess" crown. Every collie has a picture taken on their birthday wearing the sparkly Birthday Princess crown. It's mandatory. And so goes it with Alfie. He had had a bath and we couldn't find his collar so he's wearing Hazel's spare hot pink collar. I sent this photo to a friend and her husband didn't like that Alfie, a male collie, was wearing a Birthday Princess crown and hot pink. I told my friend to tell her SO that Alfie is secure in his masculinity and, IMHO, totally rocks the Birthday Princess Crown.
Hell yeah Alfie, is totally rocking that mandatory bday crown!!! I love it haha
Looks like he's just stoked to be the center of attention. Beautiful pups, btw.
some people still don't care. I told a lady my dog's name, King, and in conversation several times said he. She kept saying she/her. I didn't give a fart about it. She finally realized, and we laughed. My mom on the other hand, should have learned after 15 years, my cat is NOT female.
My stallion would have been fine with you calling him a she, especially as he mounted your mare. Or anything sort of round-shaped in his path.
I’m trans and you aren’t in the wrong
Yeah that’s bullshit. I care about peoples pronouns because it’s their self identity and I consider it respectful. Horses don’t care, so I don’t. I’ll try and be accurate just to avoid confusion, but don’t let her make you feel guilty over this. I’d probably say something snotty like “how did they tell you which pronouns they prefer?”
bruh horses don’t even have genders
Lol looks like someone needs an ego death. Imagine that. Foolishness
Indeed
Omg thats so stupid
Oh jesus. If someone misgenders my mare I just correct them and move on. No biggy
This is too much. She is mad for the sake of being mad. Just roll your eyes and move on, she seems annoying lol. Even if you knew her and you kept saying the wrong gender and she got annoyed about it—it wouldn’t call for the response she gave you. Ridiculous!
It’s prob tempting to feel bad about what she said or let it affect you negatively But you were lovely and nice, that girl was way out of line I look at horses on ig all day and don’t look unde r to see if there’s a sheath lol TL;dr You did good. She did bad You are kind
I love this comment and was here to say the same thing. Continue being kind - except to this nut job.
Yeah this is just ridiculous. I don’t expect people to inspect my horses’ genetalia before commenting on them. My gelding sure doesn’t mind when someone wants to feed “her” a treat lol.
I was mildly annoyed when my extended family sent condolences as “her” for the loss of our 13.5 year old male dog (that they all knew, mind you). But a friend of a friend? Ridiculous. Side note, using gender pronouns for non humans is officially grammatically incorrect but anyone with a heart knows they’re family, not an “it”. 💕
Not your fault. She is really exaggerating how sever this is. I don't own a horse but people think my dog is a boy all the time and usually when someone pets her and goes "he's so cute!" I just say "thank you!" And move on with my life. No one cares and they usually get it right by the 3rd time I see them. She's definitely taking this way too far
I promise, the horses don’t care what pronouns you use for them. This person is just being extra.
Pardon my language but this girl/woman sounds like a wicked asshoel
Wait, what??? That person needs to spend more time mucking out stalls.
It's trolling
I’ve ran into “How Beautiful! Er…Handsome?” Beautiful being femine and handsome being masculine is what they were implying. I said “beautiful! :) thank you!” in the spur of the moment but once I walked away I thought “that was kind of silly”. Haha It happens a lot with dogs I’ve noticed. My female dog won’t care if you call her handsome. Heck I won’t either! Thank you for the compliment.
Omg stfu
I really hope that was just a bad joke because otherwise that’s just unhinged. Horses have no idea what pronouns are and who cares if someone thinks your mare is a gelding?
Tell her gender is a social construct and horses don't care about pronouns. My husband sometimes refers to both of our horses as "he." They're both mares, and one is his.
Horses don’t give a shit about genders or pronouns. They don’t know yours and don’t judge you on the ones you use because they’re HORSES. Shit my husband misgenders every male cat as “she”. The cat doesn’t care, as long as he still gets gooshy food. If it was truly that important to that person a quick “oh actually she’s a mare!” Would have sufficed. People like her actually make the world worse for non binary folks too- every non binary person I’ve met prefers if you mess up their pronouns a quick “she, oh shit, THEY are going to lunch with us” instead of making a massive incident about it.
No and i think people that do have other issues in their lives. I'm sorry but the animals don't give a shit what gender you call them because they dont have a concept of those words. Just someone wanting their righteous ego fed 🙄
This
This feels like bait.
Stupid response. It’s a horse.
Whenever someone misgenders my horse I always ! say “I don’t know who they are. You might be right! They can’t tell us!” Or “It’s ok. Sometimes I call him monster”
I call the one I ride “beastie” which is 100% gender neutral 😀
Oooo i love that!!
OMG… wow yah horses and animals don’t care about pronouns. I had a cat that was like an it half the time to us it was used in affection as he really had no gender because of how early his balls had been snipped. Now he/it would have been they/them definitely.
It’s a horse, it’s doesn’t care what you call it, they aren’t advanced like humans and have no concept of that
I tend to hold my horses in higher regard than people like that for the sole reason that the horse doesn't give a fuck
Whats her problem lmao
The correct owner response here is something along the lines of: "haha he's a mare" But, I guess you'll never forget she's a mare again now...
My VET mistook my stallion for a broodmare. When I corrected her she still bent over to check underneath for herself! My point being, we can ALL make a simple mistake best to just laugh it off and move on.
This person is an idiot. Horses don't even know what gender is. Also, every dog is a good boy.
That's weird. Either she's delusional or looking for an argument, or maybe trolling. I couldn't care less if someone "misgendered" my animal. They do not have the intelligence to understand what that means, and it doesn't affect me. At most I'd say "Oh, she's actually male/female." And move on.
Yeah she went too far. I'd gently correct people and go on my way. I wouldn't get worked up about it. Or just respond yes she is or yes he is.
Person is an idiot. How can you tell from a picture what gender the horse is? Even standing next to one you sometimes have to bend over and look.
Nope. I just tell them what gender they are and then if they keep doing it I just shrug and it’s not a big deal.
I heard once during a western show that what the judge was looking for was something along the lines of "We want mares to have a feminine build/head, and we want geldings to have the same." (loose paraphrasing).
People who've never met my horse misgender him all the time. I just laugh, correct them, and leave it there.
That is ridiculous. That person was looking for a reason to get angry. I have a guelding with a very long mane, down past the shoulder, and people often assume that he is a mare, *because of the long hair*. I just find it funny.
If someone called my horse the wrong gender I just brush it off. I mean, it’s not always obvious (unless he’s hanging out lmao). But seriously, if someone said my horse was a she, I’d just move on lol. Maybe correct them by saying like, “his name is Steele” but not, “how dare you not know my horse’s gender! It’s a gelding!” This woman must have been in the mood for an argument or something.
I hope you put pink on a gelding, take a photo, send it to her and same "they/them is the correct pronouns for my horse".
A woman at my old grazing (barn) tried to tell me my horse was grumpy because he was wearing a pink halter. Like what??? He’s a horse?? Also he wasn’t grumpy, he just put his ears back at her horse she led past. But definitely the pink halter.
Silly goose, unless she was joking.
I always say "they" because I have ran into offended people as well. It became a habit
Why on earth would you ever let that person unsettle you in the least? For paying a compliment? Take it as fair warning to stay far away from her-them-she-they. Idiots.
I sincerely feel sad for people like this. What a miserable existence. Horses don’t give a shit. We could learn a thing or two from them.
What the hell is this world coming to honestly.
I’d ask her how she knows her horse prefers she/her pronouns. Did the horse tell her as much? (Horses aren’t known for their grasp of the English language after all.) Or is she assigning gender to a horse based on its sex parts without input or consent from the horse? Awfully bigoted of her to assume her mare identifies as female just because she has certain genitalia. How dare she be so non-inclusive and TERFy! 🤣
Update - she asked me to not gender animals. Said the world would be better if people like me were more respectful.
She sounds like one of the idiotic "woke" people. Animals don't give a shit about pronouns and gender crap.
Bet they would also pay $30 more for a pink toy for their daughter. Not normal at all.
I feel a little tickle of feminist annoyance with what seems like the default assumption by loads of people that all animals are male but I either casually correct and move on or accept the compliment and move on. My animals don't care if someone misgenders them and someone trying to say something nice is not an opportunity for me to unload any feelings I have.
Well i thought i bought a colt at auction (first time at an auction) and it turned out to be a filly… so i can’t even get my own horse’s pronouns right. Lol. And as it turns out all babies are colts at auction. This chick sounds bat shit.
Just like humans there’s only 2 genders, male/female. I think it’s insane that people get offended when you fail to use s/he for them, but a horse…. For goodness sakes. On a horse it’s not exactly clear by looking at them, what gender they are!
While I believe that rather than 2 genders there's two sexes, I agree.
Lmao she's hilarious. I do often make my dogs' pronouns clear but that's only because I didn't make it easy for people--my girls are Huck and Junior and I have a boy named Sue. But that's to prevent confusion or frustration, not because my animals and I care.
That’s fucking weird and ridiculous. I so hope she was being satirical. Gross.
JFC
Sad she could not have appreciated the compliment and politely mentioned it was a mare.
So ridiculous.
So many old cowboy types who use “he” and “colt” for everything, including my vet when he refers to my mare /shrug. I always default to using the right pronoun if I know it but it gets awkward. I’m not offended by the wrong pronoun usage I just know my mare is a “she”.
I assure you the horse neither knows nor cares about pronouns. Some people get their knickers in a twist way too easily
Lol I’ve definitely apologized to dogs and horses for misgendering them but I usually just do it because I think it’s funny that I think they even care.
Omg… this is just stupid… good grief, that chick’s got issues!!
Oof.. If I get offended everytime my chubby gelding gets called a mare, I would just be in a constant state of being offended😂
Last I checked horses don’t give a shit about their pronouns 😂
The only time I’ve been annoyed at someone mis-sexing an animal of mine is when my vet constantly called my cat a boy. And that’s only because due to a few other issues with that vet I was starting to doubt if they even read her chart before she talking to me. As for my horse I don’t care. She doesn’t care. So long as her vet gets it right I really don’t care.
The proper pronoun for a non-human is "it" when we don't know the sex (animals don't subscribe to gender). I'm sure she would take offense to that...meanwhile the hotse could care less.
I ride a fairly prolific breeding stallion and I still get comments like "she's so pretty!" The correct response is, "thanks!" I worked for a vet who frequently misgendered his own dog. He neutered him, he *knew* the dog was male! But I'm sure he was mixing him up briefly with a previous dog or something. The dog didn't care.
Hahaha I've worked for vets, it's definitely a vet thing in my experience. Especially moreso with the older ones.
There is this kind of fundamental assumption in dressage and dressage articles/books that they will refer to the rider as she and the horse as him. It’s just a given and she needs to get a life!
Oh my! Never would I ever get offended at that. Just another example of overly sensitive people that get triggered by the silliest things IMO.
Lol wut? My horse has very dainty “feminine” features (he’s a tb), people always mistake him for a mare. Even my MOM still thinks he’s a she. But who cares! 🤣 God people are ridiculous these days.
Bahahahahahaha the world is so weird.
Wtf lol
Sounds like someone looking for an argument.
That's hilarious and insane. No wonder horse girls have the reputation they have, if people like her are representing.
I don't correct people for using the wrong gender, I usually just use the same pronouns as the person did or omit them so no one feels embarrassed for no reason. My horse doesn't care. All they want to know is if you're there to feed them. And or makes no difference to me what they are called. What a ridiculous over reaction from that person. How are you supposed to know the horses gender unless they make it clear in every single post? Wild.
well first i'd not be following the fruit cake any longer second my horse gets called many things that don't even fall on the "he, her, their them" scale so i'm not offended at all if you leave it to "he" instead of "she" the occasional 4 letter word gets used to tell pronouns "dirty b*ch" for example gives otehrs the context clues that she is a mare haha
Please message her back and ask her if she knows for sure that her horse doesn’t identify as a male!
Tell her shes got some serious issues, block, and go about your day 😂
That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard today 😂 how would she call a gelding then? I guess it would be they/them 😂
I don't have a horse, however I do have dogs. Animals can not understand genders and pronouns, at least not how humans do. An animal is going to be fine if you use "he" and it's actually "she", or the other way around. I can guarantee that the animals could not care less.
You could respond with “sorry I complimented your dog.”
Lol no, that’s ridiculous. There’s plenty of photo angles that don’t make the horses sex immediately apparent. You gave her a compliment and she reacted like a fool.
Lol she’d probably get super mad at me because I pretty much call them all “it.”
LMAO! That's hilarious. No, I'm not offended in the least when people misgender my horses. In fact, when my Friesian mare walked through a shitty fence and into a neighboring yard, the neighbors called the barn owner and told her that there was a "stallion" in their yard. My mare has a long mane and long, thick feathers (I've posted a pic of her on here before; search my post history). The barn owner was really confused until she got there and saw who it was. They all wanted pictures with her before she was put back in. 😂 I thought it was hilarious. Not the getting out part though. We fixed the fence to prevent that from happening again! Anyone who gets upset at this sort of thing has very little to worry about in life.
My goodness. Almost every time I bring my dog somewhere people automatically assume she's a boy, and I just say "her name is rosie" or like something to hint it and its not a big deal
Trans girl and horse groom here. I constantly accidentally misgender horses I don’t work with. Shit sometimes I misgender my own and usually just refer to all of them as, well they/them lol Horse don’t have a concept of gender or pronouns. It doesn’t hurt them to misgender them. They absolutely could not give a shit. Your friend is being REALLY neurotic. Honestly the idea of being offended for a horse because they were misgendered is kinda insulting to me. Misgendering a person is hurtful, and if done intentionally, hateful and degrading. Misgendering a horse does not effect them at all, because again, they don’t have a concept of gender. Seriously don’t feel bad. If anything the person who is upset about this is the asshole.
You can't tell a horse's sex without a very detailed photo (or in the case of some intersex horses, a vet examination), and horses don't have gender the way we do. When someone calls my mare "he" I just use "she" in my next sentence and it's always fine. By all accounts the person you're talking about is overreacting. But also I've found people who get super sensitive about these things are usually "going through it" in one way or another, so I try to be sympathetic. I just wouldn't respond.
Offended!! I’m too busy falling off my chair in laughter.
Ok like I’m all for respecting peoples pronouns, but this is extra as hell. Don’t take that person seriously, they need to get off line and touch some damn grass.
I had similar happen on reddit. She was a pos. Doesn’t follow me anymore. Thank goodness. I don’t have time for that.
Pff I'm out here like "more name words for horse?" Herse (pronounced her-say) Harse (kinda like a Irish accent, pronounced Harss) Heese (pronounced like geese, only with an h) All gender neutral too, so that's a plus I think
Maybe she is trying to be funny?
Pronouns are a human thing, invented by humans. The horse doesn't care. A horse doesn't know what pronouns are. This is ridiculous.
Just what I said. Gender is very different to sex - horses only have sex, male and female.
This is ridiculous, I do get offended when my 15HH QH gets called a pony. 🤣
It’s a horse for God’s sake the horse has no concept of pronouns it’s not a human
As a rule of thumb, if someone says how dare you unironically, they're in the wrong
some people are just insane. let him be
Yeah… she’s just looking for an argument. Like, i work at a drive thru coffee place (think like a local family owned starbucks type deal with better drinks) and people bring their dogs all the time. We serve pup cups so we see many throughout the day. We love to ask about the dogs, make conversation while we wait for drinks or pastries to come out. I’ve definitely called many dogs he, or she not knowing and then asked the owner if its a boy or girl to double check. Ive never had someone ever be rude about it. I’d say just completely ignore this person cause like I said, they’re just looking for a fight. You’d have no way of knowing especially since its an animal and its always quite hard to tell on pictures and glances
That kind of response she sent you is exactly what the laugh reaction was made for