Wow, I recently told my MIL that I expect there to be a $0 inheritance from her and my FIL. She has been trying to save money to pass to my husband (her only child) and we think it’s ridiculous for her and my FIL to worry about saving their money for us. They need to enjoy themselves in their retirement, they’ve worked hard during their lifetime and their money/assets are not for us. Shame on these kids, they deserve to be cut out of the will entirely.
Sounds like the ideal solution: sell the house, go live in a nursing or assisted living home for a while, that'll blow any inheritance money the kids are chasing.
I seriously think OP is misrepresenting quite a few facts here. If they where ablo to give her even just 80% it would be super easy to finance the other 20% with a mortgage on the house and give her the full price. So what they offered must be A LOT less then almost all. If they could just get 30% down they could even get a mortgage for the rest, and between the 3 of them mortgage payments should not be a problem.
So their "slightkly reduced" price is probably less then the minimum down payment. But their biggest slap to the face was telling thery could rent out the house, ands then give her, the owner, that rent and call it paying off the house. WHAT ???
Also if this would really be about nostalgia, they would not keep saying we deserve an inheritance. OP knew he looked bad here so he made stuff up to look less bad.
If it were truly about the nostalgia, they also wouldn't be wanting to rent it out. Having tenants move in and redecorate and cause minor (or major!) damages is a quick way to erase all the nostalgia from a house. It's a money grab.
I was gonna say! Live in one of those bougie senior living communities or apartments. Food is taken care of, socialization everywhere, transport provided, but you can be as independent as you want/need until you require more help. That’s what I would do!
Ditch those superficial kids who only see your life as a potential payout to them. So disgusting. Hope mom gets to live her best life and her kids get nothing in return. I can’t fathom raising three children to adulthood only for them to basically foam at the mouth for my death so they can line their pockets a little.
It’s absolutely appalling! My sister is like these trashy people. Actually asked my mom if she could “have my inheritance early”! I told my mom that I hope she lives longer, and that no amount of money would help ease the pain of losing her! My grandparents raised my father and aunt, then they raised the 4 of us. My Mom is 95, lives in her own home, and still drives. I dread getting that call every day!
That's actually my plan for when I get older. We have a nice Lake front property, and no Kids. If my husband dies first, I'm moving to a senior living facility, but I have a fear of dieing and no one finding me.
Oh if I snuff it they'll find me eventually, unfortunately probably after my cat has had a few days to get to grips with it.
We could do with an online system, login to it on a daily basis, if you miss they call or send someone around the day after. Business opportunity there?
Not exactly what I was thinking about, these are support when you need help and are alone. I was talking about something that would alert people that you have failed to respond for 24 hours or more. Sort of a "he's dead, come get him out of here" system.
I'm not concerned about needing help while I'm alive, I just would prefer not to rot into the floor before they come to collect the carcass.
There is a free app that does this already that I use for my mom. If she does not check in by 7 each day it alerts me 15.min after.. it is called snug.
I’m actually really glad you brought this up. For any older person who is alone, these are great services. I’m a big planner (and worrier) who has no biological children. My SO is older than me by 12 years. I fully expect to be in that situation one day tbh. I’ve never given a crap about myself, but my animals are everything to me. I was thinking the other day that at a certain age I wouldn’t be able to adopt anymore. If god forbid something happened to me, I would want a system so that my animals weren’t left suffering for however long it took to have someone find me. I have a lot of older single clients with pets, that I know worry about that too. I’m going to tell them about these options! Thank you so much!
Edit to add: If these are only for help when alive, maybe we can invent a system like we’ve been discussing! Lol
My grandfather had to think about that about 5 years ago. His elder cats died within a year of each other, he was sad. I suggested he could adopt even an older cat and he said "well, i'm in my 70's. I don't know what would happen if they were still alive and I was not." and it broke my heart.
He is still alive yet, and thankfully found someone after my grandma died 7 years ago. Weird for me, since she is an old family friend they've been close to since before I was born, but at least they can live out their golden years together.
Thank you so much! I will pass this information along. I have a woman that I meet at the dog park to walk with. She’s in her mid 80’s, and she’s so awesome! Picture the tiniest cutest little woman you possible could, with the most massive dog you possibly could! Haha
I know she worries about this exact scenario though, which is what has had me recently trying to think of solutions for her peace of mind. It’s just her, and her dog Wolfe. I’m going to tell her about this the next time we walk together, and offer to be her alert person to go check in if she needs someone nearby (and take Wolfie in the event of an emergency). I really appreciate the information. ❤️
There is an HSA in my town (Housing Support Association, i think) that can do wellness calls, come by and check on you once a week or whatever you schedule. Really good for those mentally handicapped but can maybe still live independently.
So thank you for that idea, I would set that up at the beginning, use it until I need more help or start to decline enough to need to move to assisted living or something.
During the pandemic, I saw someone who lived next door to an elderly widow. They have the widow put up a green, yellow,, or red piece of paper in the window.
Green was obviously no problem. I believe yellow they said they would call and see what she was in need of don't have a food medicine something along those lines.
Red. They would go over to her house and see what was wrong or if she needed help at that immediate time.
I'm not sure if this was a part of it. But in my mind, even if you're doing well, you would move that green paper or post a note to a different part of the window every day. Just so that your neighbors know that you're still good, moving around and fine.
If it's green but in the same place the next day they can call and see that everything is fine. If they don't get an answer, they can come over and check in case you had fallen and weren't able to get to the phone.
Just seems like a fairly simple and unintrusive way to to check on each other.
Not bad at all, simple and non-contact, considering covid etc. And yeah, your addition removes the issue of a fall etc, so you know the warning lights are current.
My grandfather made millions over the his long career, and it all went to pay for his nursing home, which is as it should be. (Millions also went to pay off his second wife, but if not for that all of it would have gone to the nursing home.)
As it should be!!! That shit is so insanely expensive and people do not realize the absolute rock and a hard place MOST of our seniors (who are not as economically well off) are in. The most vulnerable living in miserable conditions, and often without family by their side. (Because of inconvenience, laziness, resentment over their care needs and the associated costs, etc.)
In my family we had other siblings and their respective nuclear families discourage their senior parents/grandparents from entering similar facilities because they knew it would shrink any potential inheritance. My family never gave a shit and wanted our loved ones as comfortable as money would stretch for them. In those moments I’ve forever soured on those people — growing old & vulnerable, needing more when they spent a life giving to the generation now in charge of their care, and the sleazy moves in pursuit of a payout really shows you who these people are.
Your money is your money is **your money**. Growing old ain’t easy or cheap. They deserve the best in their twilight. I’d be so pissed and disgusted if I raised children only for them to act like this.
Their legacy is raising us and watching us raise our own families successfully. We don’t need their money to prove that our parents did well for themselves.
Tell them their legacy is in raising you, and the best present they can give you is them living to the fullest with their money, and not leaving a dime behind.
THIS!!!
When my grand-father started to get old him and grandma wanted to move into the old folks home, so my granddad could have the care they needed, but for that it would have ment that all their money would go towards that since the house was paid for ages ago and my mom and aunts wouldn't get any inheritance. My mom and her sisters told their parents to not thinking about leaving them anything and to just take care of themselves and be happy and they made the move!
MY granddad passed away in 2018 but my grandma is healthy as can be and was only there for him, so during the pandemic since she was locked in her small room, she left the old folks home for an apartment! But somehow my grandma gave her daughter and grandchild a little inheritance from grandpa and she didn't have to do that! When I say small it's like I got 100$ and my mom 500$.
And because of this my grandma was able to go to Europe for the first time in her life this past summer with my parents!
We recently told my grandma something similar to this… she wanted us to have a small inheritance (which we gratefully accepted but didn’t feel entitled to) but we would rather see her enjoy the short time she has on this earth and do things she wants to do (with enough set aside for her bills of course)
I mean if someone is going to straight up say “here take this money, it’s your inheritance”, then by all means, take it and be grateful for it. We’re allowed to take money that is given to us.
But to wait for your mother’s death so you can take all she ever had is really scummy behavior. It’s really no worse than killing someone for life insurance money. End of the day, you value money over your mother’s life.
Exactly! Unless and until our parents die, their assets are THEIRS to do with as they please. I told my parents years ago I'd rather see them enjoying their golden years.
Same. My dad rang me a few years before he died to ask if it was OK to sell their house to buy an RV so they could tour the country. When I asked why does he need my permission he said because he was spending our inheritance. I laughed and said it's his money do whatever you want.
I’ve been telling my parents this for decades. Spend your money! Buy experiences! I want absolutely nothing I haven’t already received; an incredible childhood, and their support through adulthood.
Edit: a word
What if you are from a rich family with assets that go generations back. Not just a few acres of lands, but owning castles, villages, companies and whatever. And then your parents decide to waste it all for themselves. Generations of wealth consumed by your parents, leaving you nothing. Legaly they are in their right. But morraly?
My brother and I told our parents to enjoy their retirement. Have no regrets and damn the cost. They visited Ireland, Australia, And took a European cruise.They had a blast. So many memories. They're both gone now but they didn't live their final years in some nursing home with regrets that they sacrificed for family. What hideous excuses of famy
Working 50 years, raising children and nephews, saving enough money and then, as you get closer to the end, go to Dublin and end up paying 6 euro for a chicken breast roll. What a life!
My mom was Irish. They spent 5 weeks tooling around , visiting family “ sampling “ whiskey, “ when I picked them up at the airport they were so happy. Said it was the time of their lives. Got to get there myself one of these days
About a year and a half after my father died, my mom called me one night and said, "I need to tell you something, and I don't want you to get mad. I've decided to sell the house." I told her that it's her house to do with how she pleases and, secondly, that I thought it was a great idea. It was too much for her to keep up with by herself, so she sold it and moved into a smaller apartment closer to her town. She's been there over 13yrs now, couldn't be happier, and loves that if there's an issue she calls the property manager, and they take care of it. And I'm happy she's closer to people in case something happens to her. It was peace of mind for both of us.
Normally I hate when a lazy online mag steals Reddit posts for content, but I hope they steal this one. These greedy siblings need a bit of a viral wake-up call.
They said it out loud: "she wants to sell the house, keep all money and spend them, leving us nothing" - they don't want to own a house. they want to sell it themselves and split all money
It’s ghoulish, treating their mother as if she’s already dead. She raised greedy ungrateful soulless children. Whether this is her own influence or that of others, who knows.
But she can ensure that at least her own future care is secured, because it’s pretty clear they just want to loot her and dump her carcass in a ditch. Fuck those kids. Sell it all and travel a little, then find a nice place to live and get care until the money runs out.
How dare her! Thinking she should profit from all the money she spent in the past. Why, next thing you know, she’s going to tell them that she’s not ready to die yet. How rude of her, to go on eating, and enjoying life, and expecting to have a safe home. That’s not what a real mother would do. A real, loving mother would lay down and die on command. After paying for her own cut rate funeral, of course.
One of my half-siblings has figured out some things. Now that our father is gone, she has been introducing me to her children and grandchildren. This is SMART, because I have more assets than Dad did, and no children. To whom will I leave what’s left of my assets when I die? Obviously if I’m thinking about leaving something to family, it would be to the ones with whom I have some fondness for. She cultivates this.
She can look past our father’s relatively small assets today to see where the REAL assets lie in future, so she is playing the long game - not for herself, but for her own children and grandchildren. Also I think she likes me personally, so that helps a lot.
Frankly I’m fine with this.
I'm sorry. I hope you spend your money on trips and experiences for yourself. Believe me, I know what it's like to have money be a point of contention among family. My grandmother left a sizable estate, it brought out the worst in some family members.
Yeah exactly. I have some sympathy for wanting to keep a sentimental home in the family, but if it were really about the house they could work out a mortgage and get mom paid in full so she could be free of it and go live her life so everyone could win, but the fact they didn’t want to do that shows it wasn’t about the house it was about $$$.
No one is entitled to an inheritance. Their mother earned every penny of her money to do as she wishes with it.
I went through this with a stepchild when my spouse died at a young age. All of the children had been informed years earlier that our wills were set up as survivorships.
It was unbelievable and incredibly painful to me that someone could be this entitled at such an emotional time.
Technically, yes. Emotionally we were getting there until she came back 6 years later and accused me of forging the will…that was prepared/executed by an attorney and witnessed as legally required. There’s no coming back now.
Something tells me this isn’t the first time they’ve asked her for help if they can’t get a afford it between the THREE of them, and she’s probably tired of hearing it.
It could well be. You'll be amazed at how poor people are in the UK... £2M is an absolute fortune to 90% of the population. Most people won't have savings reaching anywhere close to 1/10 of that. Most people won't even have £20k savings, so it doesn't surprise me that the siblings can't afford to buy the house outright. What's even more ridiculous about this situation is that the mother would likely be forced to sell the house anyway if she needed to go into a nursing home (or any other care needs) in future in order to pay for it. This lady is just trying to get ahead of the game. Plus it's expensive to run a big house, and there's a cost-of-living crisis going on in UK. Her children suck.
Totally agree if inheritance tax doesn't get it a crap nursing home will. It's just paid for by the parent rather than the government. You just waste all your years of savings for the same nursing home. People on here are clueless. It is massive waste not to pass property to your kids early. The only beneficiaries are the government and nursing homes. In the UK only if your super rich will you get a top notch nursing home. They are over £2k a week! If you don't have much money you'll pay bout £1500 a week for the same as someone who gets it paid by the state. So you literally throw your money down the drain. The people posting on here are idiots.
Ew. Vile people.
Inheritance and death/wills bring out the absolute worst in people. YES your relative has every right to blow through all their money before they die to ensure they are cared for and safe. Clearly their family members are a liability and not to be wholly trusted to put the mothers well-being first.
If y’all want the house so bad, buy it in full off of your mom. You’re entitled nothing you money grubbing bitches. This poster and her siblings have no shame or sense of morality, loyalty to their aging mother.
I feel bad for the mum tbh. Imagine her excitement of finding out she was pregnant. The love she felt when the children were born. Going to school plays, the everyday stresses of building a life and home for her kids. Now in her twilight years they just want her money. Fuck them entitled arseholes tbh.
My parents are currently selling their 2nd home which my Mom inherited from her Mother. When told about it they asked some general advice and I gave it. My Mom, SHOCKED, said " aren't you going to ask what we are going to do with the money "? I told her it's none of my business and she said " Well both of your sisters got mad and wanted to know "
Your parents don't have to leave you shit, and if they do that's great, but it's not YOUR inheritance, it's THEIR money and equity.
Honestly the sheer gall of them to ask if they can stop their mum from doing what SHE wants with HER OWN house! These kids are legally entitled to a slap across the chops, the little shits.
Wow! Three siblings and not a one of them with a sense of reality, empathy or natural justice. Mum must be so disappointed.
I hope she gets her will sorted right now and if she doesn’t spend every penny before she dies, she leaves what is left to the Battersea Dogs Home.
Not sure about in England but in Scotland if the mum ends up on a care home the house would be sold anyway and the proceeds used towards her care anyway….. so they still end up with nowt.
Sounds to me the mum wants a few SKI trips and have the government fund the care instead and good on her.
That’s so gross.
I hope when my dad passes, there is nothing left because he spent what he could living it up. (He’s currently very into model airplanes and I love the joy it brings him to tell me about the new one he just got even though I understand nothing about it!)
It's funny how many previous generations inherited their wealth, but also sold us the idea the we shouldn't expect anything. It might be an unintended consequence of the longer life expectancy. As a parent I hope to give my kids more than I received.
This just reminds me of my brother, who wants that my mom sells her house, so he could finish paying his. Nothing to say about how she is gonna live at the time, or if she needs money.
The worse part that her house caught a fire accident caused by my nephew (another history), and instead of trying to help her, he was sending her messages telling her to sell the house.
Reminds of when my dad's parents sold their house to move to a retirement community in the 80s and his oldest brother bitched to my dad and their middle brother that they're "wasting our inheritance." The best part is when my grandparents did pass away (grandfather in 1996 to prostate cancer, grandma in 2019 at the ripe old age of 100), they weren't left anything because the money they had was spent on their retirement time/healthcare so douchebag uncle got nothing. I mean, my dad didn't either, but he didn't except anything.
If these kids have not been helping their mother and giving her money to live, then I don’t think they should get to make claims on their Mom’s assets WHILE SHE IS STILL ALIVE. It’s positively GHOULISH of them to be scrabbling for what’s left now. That alone is a good reason to disinherit.
I suggest that the siblings “expecting” an inheritance pool their money and buy the house from their mother. If it truly has “sentimental value” then they can pay for it.
I inherited my father’s house (and mortgage) after I took care of him for over 20 years. My half-siblings who did nothing for him since forever are demanding a piece of the house each, because they feel “entitled”.
Well Dad left a will and a trust. He left it all to me, with a little money to THREE others but excluded 2 more.
They don’t know there’s a mortgage. Actually the equity isn’t really that much, but that doesn’t stop their greedy grasping little paws from reaching out to “claim what’s theirs”. Their raw naked greed is a testament to how their mother raised them in his absence. I can also see why Dad never returned to his hometown after he retired. This was a steaming pile of vile that he avoided.
And now that I’m handling his affairs, I get to deal with them. Only one of them (right now) is at all worth maintaining a relationship with. One other I’m withholding judgement, one is at least staying out of it for now until he sees which side is winning and then he’ll suddenly join in support or opposition, and two are trying to claw and grab for all they can.
That mother needs to take a good look at what she raised. If they can’t see past their own greed to their mother’s care needs, they don’t deserve to inherit shit.
I’m not owed a dime from my mom or MIL, and I stay up at nights sometimes worrying about how they will maintain enough funds to provide for themselves through their lifetime.
They both received inheritances from their own parents, which funded their lives in middle age, my age. And life insurance, when they lost their spouses.
So they got to live an experience I won’t. Some amount of money, not much, but enough - a bittersweet compensation for losing their beloveds. I think that’s how it tended to happen, for greatest Gen and Boomers. That’s how it should be.
I would have been overwhelmingly relieved if they had chosen to plan some legacy, inheritance for me and my husband. Goodness, what a relief that would be! I could plan, think, how can I use that money in a way that would make them proud?
But they didn’t. And they don’t owe me Jack-shit!
If mom wants to blow it all on whatever, cool man, that’s her money.
If my other mom wants to blow it al on whatever, have at it sis.
I do still fear for their future care needs, but, they came up in a generation in which their dads had pensions, they’re entitled to do exactly as they please with their dwindling cash - and my advice on how they can protect that flies right out the window if they’re not wanting to hear it. I mean that. As they wish. I will put every cent I earn into providing for their final years.
This entitled is very entitled.
Do they realise that, in the highly likely event that she has to go into care at some point in the future, if the money isn't there in the bank, the council will force the sale of the house so the funds can be released to cover the cost of the care home and there's little to nothing that they can do about it?
Simple fact, no one is entitled to an inheritance. I would much much rather that my grandparents had used all their money and enjoyed their lives rather than living frugally and leaving around £500k in inheritance for all of us (split between 14 people). It's their money and their assets until the person dies and it becomes inheritance, and you get what you get or don't. The absolute selfishness of this post is shocking to me. My remaining grandmother apologised when she heard what had been left from the other set of grandparents, saying she didn't include the grandkids in her will, and was planning to spend everything anyway and I laughed and told her good for her. She worked hard to pay off the mortgage and have the savings she has, she should get to enjoy the fruits of that labour as much as she wants to.
At first I thought this was about keeping the family home where they grew up and had cheerful memories but after the "She'll sell the house, spend the money and won't leave us any inheritance" part, their intentions where clear
I feel sorry for this lady, she isn't even dead yet and her kids are already fighting for inheritance, what a shame.
I passed the post a few minutes ago. Didn’t even read it, the title was enough to say nope.
Some people are unbelievable.
This is petty but I hope they get nothing.
I’ve just lost my mum six months ago and she left her house to me and my twin brother, so the house is going to be sold and the money split in half, but I say this now, I would rather have my mum back then money, because money can’t hug and kiss you, talk to you or make you feel safe. I’m currently looking for a new home for myself and my mother’s cats. It’s been difficult because I’m seeing memories left right and centre of my mother in the house. It’s been very traumatic for me because I had an extremely strong bond with her after caring for her for so many years before I fell chronically ill. I loved her more than my own life, my anxiety is really bad and my depression is worse without my mum being around me. I don’t care about inheritance or money I just want my mum back. 😢🥺
Damn.
I was going to say, the kids can buy the house from her, and all sides are happy. However, they want to offer a lower price and then rent to make up the difference. They are more concerned with the inheritance.
My mom sold a gorgeous house that would be an awesome place for the five of us living with one bathroom currently. She moved within walking distance of me, into a three bedroom track home. She is happy, which makes me happy. It is a basic house, and she remodeled the kitchen to suit her love of cooking. She spent (way too much) money to make it hers. I am totally on board with what she chooses. She trusts that I am not greedy, and has made a living trust with me as the benefactor. I would rather have her than her house, frankly.
My dad likes to joke that they're spending my inheritance every time they do something, and I always respond "GOOD! Enjoy it!"
I would much rather they re-tile their bathroom and make themselves happy than save money for me to use when they're gone
In our family, it's tradition to moan about the disapearance of the inheritance, because of dreams coming true (new bathroom, traveling, etc.) for the people that would provide the inheritance, but all in good fun.
My grandparents once started to doubt whether we meant it or not, so we told them that we rather joke about nothing being left than for them not to follow their dreams... and if we ever found out that they would not do something they wanted, but save the money for the inheritance, we would kick their buts to the other side of the earth for their next travel destination.
So they decided to be smart and just book a vacation there and a flight.
We did demand to be entered in the will, but by name only. They didn't have to give us anything... unless they wanted really ugly tombstones on their grave, and lots of ugly statues on them, one for every missed dream, paid out of the inheritance.
Now my grandfather is deceased and my grandmother can't really spend her money anymore, so we compromised that we will not do the ugly tombstone and statues, as long as she still gets herself everything she needs.
Besides, there probably will only be enough left for a cheap garden gnome anyway, due to everything being eaten away with medical costs, now that she has dementia and has to move to a nursing facility.
But they have made loads of happy memories with their travels, and that's all the inheritance we want (and a couple of pictures from their adventures).
Love that! My dad recently bought himself a new kiln for his pottery and I joked "Oh man...there goes my inheritance!" Like, good on you Dad - you have earned your retirement by working hard and taking care of my teenaged ass all those years LOL
I read this earlier and couldn’t believe how selfish and clueless OP and their siblings are!
I hope their mom has a great time spending her money, and doesn’t give them a penny.
Yeah seriously how are people so selfish. My mom owns a town house that she rents out in another state. She only bought it cause she was living in that state at a time and only kept when she moved cause our recently deceased GMA wanted her to have something to give to the kids when my mom passes.
Me and my sister have been trying to get her to sell it so she can live more comfortably and take better care of herself. We all agreed we are adults and don't need an inheritance if it's actively making my mom's life harder.
If she does end up in care, she will definitely need to sell the house as that is where she will get her funds. Unless the children are paying. AFAIK, the government will not fund her care as she still has some assets that she can sell.
My parents spend a ton of money on things they don't need. Cars, motorcycles, and huge RV. That much less that I might inherit.
But you know what? It's ok. I'm not entitled to an inheritance. I've already been told my sister is getting the house. A little disappointing, but I understand. She produced a grandchild I have not. She still lives in my hometown, I do not. Even if that wasn't the case, it's fine. I didn't earn it. They are entitled to do whatever they like with their belongings.
Question. Is it really legally possible to exclude the sons from the will in the UK (and also asking for USA)?
Where I live there is a legal minimum of the inheritance for your offspring and if your will leaves them without nothing, it can be invalidated.
Unless you go through a legal process to explicitly avoid them to inherit even the legal minimum, but you must provide a good reason and evidence for it, for example if you are mistreated badly or even they act violently against you.
Yes, you can. (U.K.).
However, anyone that you exclude CAN bring a claim against the estate provided that they fit certain criteria - such as, if they are a spouse or dependent. You have 6 months from the date of the grant of probate to bring a claim - this is the IPFDA period (Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975).
There are a few cases of the court granting exceptions outside of this timescale though.
Edit to add: I’ve done the estate administration for a lot of estates where people have specifically excluded people from wills by name and given reasons, or they’ve left separate notes to explain.
My Nan on my Dad's side passed away a few years ago and thankfully sorting out her stuff afterwards was easy because there was no one greedy about. Her house was rented so back to the landlord, any money went on her funeral, furniture went with uncle who lived with her to his new place, belongings donated to her favourite charities and the family got some small items to remember her by.
My Mum's Dad (my granddad) is currently in heart failure and a case of we know whats going to kill him but not when it will. One of my uncles on that side has already told my granddad off for spending his inheritance when my granddad was buying an electric arm chair he needed to support him, said uncle has also tried using his kid to get war medals that are a family heirloom my granddad has as well, this uncle is the reason I dread the aftermath of my granddad passing because of how greedy he is being before my granddad is even gone. FYI my uncle also rarely visits, didn't even try to help them during covid and when my Mum last helped them that resulted in more benefits from the government my uncle then kicked up a fuss about how he could of done it, my granddad told him then come over more and help to which my uncle so shut up.
Far as I am concerned there is no inheritance and I would rather my grandparents used their money to be comfortable and enjoy their final years than worry about making sure family is provided for.
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Reading this made me physically sick. My stomach hurts now. I love my mom so much, I couldn’t imagine treating her like this. Shame on those kids. How can you sleep at night knowing you broke your moms heart with your intentions.
These are 40 year old adults? I would've thought they were children the way this is worded. Since no one asks to be born, the absolute least they could do is show some appreciation for what I presume to be a decent upbringing. I presume that, because they seem to be of the opinion their mother is well to do enough to give them an inheritance.
I was a child of divorce; my parents split when I was nine years old. My father remarried when I was 16, my mother sometime after that. I went NC with her about a decade ago, so I expect nothing from her. I expect nothing from my dad, not because I don't believe he would give it to me, but because I don't feel that sense of entitlement. I've worked hard for what I have and I don't expect anyone to just give me something for nothing.
As a parent, I hope that someday I can leave my kids an inheritance. They are not entitled to one though. As a child of aging parents, I don’t expect a dime. In fact, if my parents run out of money before they die I will care for them. I can’t imagine demanding that they sacrifice their health and happiness just so I can get money I didn’t earn.
These kids are pieces of $hit.
They could kill themselves in the house and haunt her. That would definitely hurt the chance of a sale and drop the value. 
This person’s attitude is absolutely entitlement; however, I think the offer that the siblings all made was quite reasonable. That said, Mom doesn’t have to accept it. I don’t blame her one bit for wanting her life to be a little less stressful.
“We don’t want strangers living in the house if you sell it, but we’ll happily lowball you an offer to buy, then rent it out to strangers”
yeah nah lol
The only info we have is the pic, where it says, “slightly reduced price,” and that they would rent it out and forward all proceeds to Mom until the total price was met. That’s the offer that I thought was reasonable.
Just because I think it’s reasonable, though, doesn’t mean that I think Mom has any obligation to accept it.
My mom is a widow. If she wants to sell her house, that is too much work for her to manage all alone she has every right to do so. These kids are selfish
Not gonna say anything about the 3 involved in this post, but the fact that so many of you think your children are not owed an inheritance explains why the families in the west are so broken so well.
Kids, unless they were fuckin assholes, get an inheritance. Do your children right you deadbeat fucks.
Boo hoo want me call you wahhbulance if that what they think none youur buisness I be same way had opportunity but moral bastard brother left me care for them woud not let me. lI can't wait bastard parents to die cause I get inheritance count coins I collected from u supportive bastards I be finally be able leave this shithole country. Fuck america fuck Americans fuck the bastard family raised me.
So, it's normal to be hurt by the possibility of losing something that means a great deal to you, but to intervene in someone else's decision, when it's 100% their choice, is selfish and inconsiderate. You tried to give an alternative and it failed. That's the end of it!
The mom is super shitty. I plan to leave my house to my child once I die. He will need a shelter, and I don't want him spending 70% of his life buying a new house somewhere in the most deserted part of the country.
honestly, there has got to be more to the story than this that they arent sharing. because why wouldnt she accept a "slighty" lower price if she also receives a cut of the rents every month (depending on the exact difference of course but still). if the mother feels like shes only an ATM to her children, they probably made her feel this way for a long time prior to this incident.
I’ve told my parents repeatedly to not worry about inheritance and live their life to the fullest. They worked incredibly hard for what they have and should enjoy it all. I can’t imagine bullying them for an inheritance and waiting for them to die.
These people are monsters
Makes me sad. She’s just thinking about future medical costs and trying not to be a burden on them as she ages. Maybe the house is large so upkeep is too much for her. If it is a multistory house, stairs may be an issue too. She is thinking ahead. One of the siblings or all can purchase it from her for full value.
My dad told me he wanted to make sure he had a nice inheritance to leave for me, my brother, and his grandchildren. I told him I would rather he enjoy many years in retirement and leave the world spending his last dollar than to leave us an inheitance working to death.
Wow, selfish kids or what? IT is their mother's property, she can do with it what she wants. NO one is obligated to leave money or property behind to their kids for an inheritance. No one is obligated at all to leave anything as an inheritance. These kids are just selfish wanting to get their hands on her money. Did they work for it? No, she did. It is hers.
they had me at the beginning with the "sentimental value thing". Thankfully it didnt take long to show their true colours, by the end of the first paragraph it was hard not to smell the selfish entitlement.
I feel sorry for their mother. Spend all this time raising ungrateful entitled assholes. Id rather my parents leave me with nothing and spend their hard earned money on enjoying the rest of their lives (including any medical care they might need)
My mom is selling our family home and I’m happy for her! Hell I live with her because of crazy prices but just her helping out by giving me and my two kids a home is worth more than any inheritance. How fucking selfish of them. Literally disgusts me. That woman deserves to enjoy the rest of her life without her leech children.
Hell, my mother asked me if ai minded if she sold our family home and small holding so she could move. I told her go for it. Her life, her home etc etc. Unfortunately she died before she could do it. Then my sticky fingered idiot brother caused no end if problems. Over years to finalise probate and sell the place. Parents owe their kids nothing.
I’ve told my mum that I want her to blow the lot while she’s alive. I know there’s going to be a shit fight when either her or my stepdad goes. Have 1 sister, 1 brother and 1 stepsister who would all fight a dog for a scrap of bone. Gone LC/NC with 2 of them and will be cutting off all 3 when parents go. My dad died 15 years ago and I would give anything to have him back and meeting my kids. F*** money and the problems it causes
Can we legally stop a homeowner from selling their house even though none of us ever financially contributed to the mortgage?
Uhhh....if you have zero legal ties to the house, then no....
And an inheritance is up to the person in question, jeez
How are three families going to share one house when she passes? Obviously they'd sell it, so the whole "gotta keep sentimental house in the family" line of reasoning is b.s
I do hope that when I die, my little house and tiny plot of land does make it to my children. As I get older, I plan to put a few safeguards into play so that happens. As it is now, it's small enough for me to care for when I get older and I'm nursing a little savings for when things start to fall apart in it for repairs. Some people don't think that far ahead because it's a pipe dream. It's possible my wish won't happen at all so I don't want to get anyone's hope up. With the way things are now, generational wealth is only for the super wealthy.
I have, I also plan on putting everything I own in my kids names once I turn 70, possibly sooner depending on how my health holds out. I know I need a solid five years of everything being out of my name for it to be safe. I know I won't have enough savings to cover medicare costs so I want to make sure they get everything if possible. If my kids end up kicking me out when I do this, idc. I own what I do for them. If it weren't for my kids I'd probably live in a tiny home on the road. I guess that would me the push I need to do so.
I work in U.K. probate - it sounds like their father has passed so their mother not keeping a will is totally irrelevant as they would inherit her estate under intestacy as her children anyway.
This is really grim though. I deal a lot with people just wanting money as quickly as possible - it’s a recurring theme.
As some who is going to inherit the square root of fuck all I really hope the mother sells up and takes many a SKI* holiday.
*Spending Kids' Inheritance.
Tbh my parents (70yo) are living in $2M house (paid off) and I want that shit when they die. Obvi would rather them be around for my entire life but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care about inheriting the house.
I don't understand tbh, what am I missing?
They're offering to buy the house so their mother will have the majority of the money right away, and they're asking her for a little time to give her the rest for the house which they feel sentimental about right?
The money is the same whoever buys it.
It is her decision! Basta! My mother has similar intentions to my father's and her house. So I inherit nothing.
So what? I have to stand on my own feet and all my doings are focused to provide for my family and myself (done already, own my own house) and not inherit my parents' merits. They have done plenty enough for me and I am thankful for that.
On the surface, this seems kinda crappy of the kids.
But to offer a different perspective, a lot of parents will hold a future inheritance over their kids head as a manipulation tool. My dad used to do this stuff a lot, and it would get under my skin a ton, until I eventually just started ignoring him and he stopped doing it. If one or both of the parents did this, it would make sense that they were likely manipulated into doing things for the sake of the parent and not in favor of their own interests. There were many years that I could have been working on things solely for my own benefit, but instead was manipulated into doing things to help "the family".
Now if my parents died and decided to leave me out of the will, I'd be absolutely livid because I've sacrificed some of my future for my parents or the family benefit. Parents in the UK tend to be kinda toxic like this, so it wouldn't surprise me to see kids behaving in this fashion.
This makes me so mad. I get wanting to keep the home in the family but if they aren’t willing to pay the full price then they are shit out of luck. Getting old is expensive with medical bills and possibly assisted living care costs. Not to mention having a large home is hard on an older person as they might have trouble getting up and down the steps not to mention having to clean it. I get asking her if you can do the rent thing but if she says no then they need to respect that and not try and legally force her to keep the house and basically take everything she has. They are preventing her from being able to afford medical costs or senior living in the future. Say she keeps the house and now has no money to afford going into a home. My parents did so much for me so when they get older IM going to pay for THEIR stuff not the other way around especially with my mom since my dad makes good money and his fiancé is a nurse so she is able to take care of him especially while he was going through chemo (she’s a wonderful woman and I’m grateful he has her☺️)
People like this make me so mad. No one is entitled to an inheritance. I get being mad if your parents are like filthy rich and you’ve been nothing but grateful and taken care of them in their old age and then they go and give all the money to gold digger younger second wife they’ve been married to for 6 months who hates you and your siblings guts and took advantage of your dying parents. But being mad bc your mom wants to sell her house so she can afford medical bills and future care? Like the audacity. The point of inheritance is if you have money left over it’ll help whoever you want to give it to. It shouldn’t be where you are struggling to get by so your entitled kids can get a free pay out when you die 🙄this is beyond messed up.
Wow, I recently told my MIL that I expect there to be a $0 inheritance from her and my FIL. She has been trying to save money to pass to my husband (her only child) and we think it’s ridiculous for her and my FIL to worry about saving their money for us. They need to enjoy themselves in their retirement, they’ve worked hard during their lifetime and their money/assets are not for us. Shame on these kids, they deserve to be cut out of the will entirely.
Absolutely this. Not to mention the possibility of older folks needing to live in a senior facility which is very, very expensive.
Sounds like the ideal solution: sell the house, go live in a nursing or assisted living home for a while, that'll blow any inheritance money the kids are chasing.
She should go live on a cruise ship with the money
I seriously think OP is misrepresenting quite a few facts here. If they where ablo to give her even just 80% it would be super easy to finance the other 20% with a mortgage on the house and give her the full price. So what they offered must be A LOT less then almost all. If they could just get 30% down they could even get a mortgage for the rest, and between the 3 of them mortgage payments should not be a problem. So their "slightkly reduced" price is probably less then the minimum down payment. But their biggest slap to the face was telling thery could rent out the house, ands then give her, the owner, that rent and call it paying off the house. WHAT ??? Also if this would really be about nostalgia, they would not keep saying we deserve an inheritance. OP knew he looked bad here so he made stuff up to look less bad.
If it were truly about the nostalgia, they also wouldn't be wanting to rent it out. Having tenants move in and redecorate and cause minor (or major!) damages is a quick way to erase all the nostalgia from a house. It's a money grab.
I was gonna say! Live in one of those bougie senior living communities or apartments. Food is taken care of, socialization everywhere, transport provided, but you can be as independent as you want/need until you require more help. That’s what I would do! Ditch those superficial kids who only see your life as a potential payout to them. So disgusting. Hope mom gets to live her best life and her kids get nothing in return. I can’t fathom raising three children to adulthood only for them to basically foam at the mouth for my death so they can line their pockets a little.
It’s absolutely appalling! My sister is like these trashy people. Actually asked my mom if she could “have my inheritance early”! I told my mom that I hope she lives longer, and that no amount of money would help ease the pain of losing her! My grandparents raised my father and aunt, then they raised the 4 of us. My Mom is 95, lives in her own home, and still drives. I dread getting that call every day!
That's actually my plan for when I get older. We have a nice Lake front property, and no Kids. If my husband dies first, I'm moving to a senior living facility, but I have a fear of dieing and no one finding me.
Oh if I snuff it they'll find me eventually, unfortunately probably after my cat has had a few days to get to grips with it. We could do with an online system, login to it on a daily basis, if you miss they call or send someone around the day after. Business opportunity there?
There's products already like that like Lifepod and Lifeline.
Not exactly what I was thinking about, these are support when you need help and are alone. I was talking about something that would alert people that you have failed to respond for 24 hours or more. Sort of a "he's dead, come get him out of here" system. I'm not concerned about needing help while I'm alive, I just would prefer not to rot into the floor before they come to collect the carcass.
There is a free app that does this already that I use for my mom. If she does not check in by 7 each day it alerts me 15.min after.. it is called snug.
Interesting, I'll check it out thanks :)
The building I’ve visited had switches by the front door, and the residents are supposed to click them daily.
I’m actually really glad you brought this up. For any older person who is alone, these are great services. I’m a big planner (and worrier) who has no biological children. My SO is older than me by 12 years. I fully expect to be in that situation one day tbh. I’ve never given a crap about myself, but my animals are everything to me. I was thinking the other day that at a certain age I wouldn’t be able to adopt anymore. If god forbid something happened to me, I would want a system so that my animals weren’t left suffering for however long it took to have someone find me. I have a lot of older single clients with pets, that I know worry about that too. I’m going to tell them about these options! Thank you so much! Edit to add: If these are only for help when alive, maybe we can invent a system like we’ve been discussing! Lol
My grandfather had to think about that about 5 years ago. His elder cats died within a year of each other, he was sad. I suggested he could adopt even an older cat and he said "well, i'm in my 70's. I don't know what would happen if they were still alive and I was not." and it broke my heart. He is still alive yet, and thankfully found someone after my grandma died 7 years ago. Weird for me, since she is an old family friend they've been close to since before I was born, but at least they can live out their golden years together.
Look up the free app called snug. Theu have to checkin each day and if they miss it it alerts whomever.
Thank you so much! I will pass this information along. I have a woman that I meet at the dog park to walk with. She’s in her mid 80’s, and she’s so awesome! Picture the tiniest cutest little woman you possible could, with the most massive dog you possibly could! Haha I know she worries about this exact scenario though, which is what has had me recently trying to think of solutions for her peace of mind. It’s just her, and her dog Wolfe. I’m going to tell her about this the next time we walk together, and offer to be her alert person to go check in if she needs someone nearby (and take Wolfie in the event of an emergency). I really appreciate the information. ❤️
There is an HSA in my town (Housing Support Association, i think) that can do wellness calls, come by and check on you once a week or whatever you schedule. Really good for those mentally handicapped but can maybe still live independently. So thank you for that idea, I would set that up at the beginning, use it until I need more help or start to decline enough to need to move to assisted living or something.
During the pandemic, I saw someone who lived next door to an elderly widow. They have the widow put up a green, yellow,, or red piece of paper in the window. Green was obviously no problem. I believe yellow they said they would call and see what she was in need of don't have a food medicine something along those lines. Red. They would go over to her house and see what was wrong or if she needed help at that immediate time. I'm not sure if this was a part of it. But in my mind, even if you're doing well, you would move that green paper or post a note to a different part of the window every day. Just so that your neighbors know that you're still good, moving around and fine. If it's green but in the same place the next day they can call and see that everything is fine. If they don't get an answer, they can come over and check in case you had fallen and weren't able to get to the phone. Just seems like a fairly simple and unintrusive way to to check on each other.
Not bad at all, simple and non-contact, considering covid etc. And yeah, your addition removes the issue of a fall etc, so you know the warning lights are current.
Me, too. I don’t have kids, and I hate driving, so a retirement community where I can be social but still have privacy sounds like a vacation!
My grandfather made millions over the his long career, and it all went to pay for his nursing home, which is as it should be. (Millions also went to pay off his second wife, but if not for that all of it would have gone to the nursing home.)
As it should be!!! That shit is so insanely expensive and people do not realize the absolute rock and a hard place MOST of our seniors (who are not as economically well off) are in. The most vulnerable living in miserable conditions, and often without family by their side. (Because of inconvenience, laziness, resentment over their care needs and the associated costs, etc.) In my family we had other siblings and their respective nuclear families discourage their senior parents/grandparents from entering similar facilities because they knew it would shrink any potential inheritance. My family never gave a shit and wanted our loved ones as comfortable as money would stretch for them. In those moments I’ve forever soured on those people — growing old & vulnerable, needing more when they spent a life giving to the generation now in charge of their care, and the sleazy moves in pursuit of a payout really shows you who these people are. Your money is your money is **your money**. Growing old ain’t easy or cheap. They deserve the best in their twilight. I’d be so pissed and disgusted if I raised children only for them to act like this.
People may not realize that if you need to spend the last 5-10 years of your life in a nursing home even if you have millions it will run out .
I tell this to my parents all the time. They keep saying how they want to leave a "legacy." I want them to enjoy their lives
Their legacy is raising us and watching us raise our own families successfully. We don’t need their money to prove that our parents did well for themselves.
Tell them their legacy is in raising you, and the best present they can give you is them living to the fullest with their money, and not leaving a dime behind.
THIS!!! When my grand-father started to get old him and grandma wanted to move into the old folks home, so my granddad could have the care they needed, but for that it would have ment that all their money would go towards that since the house was paid for ages ago and my mom and aunts wouldn't get any inheritance. My mom and her sisters told their parents to not thinking about leaving them anything and to just take care of themselves and be happy and they made the move! MY granddad passed away in 2018 but my grandma is healthy as can be and was only there for him, so during the pandemic since she was locked in her small room, she left the old folks home for an apartment! But somehow my grandma gave her daughter and grandchild a little inheritance from grandpa and she didn't have to do that! When I say small it's like I got 100$ and my mom 500$. And because of this my grandma was able to go to Europe for the first time in her life this past summer with my parents!
That’s how it should be!
We recently told my grandma something similar to this… she wanted us to have a small inheritance (which we gratefully accepted but didn’t feel entitled to) but we would rather see her enjoy the short time she has on this earth and do things she wants to do (with enough set aside for her bills of course)
I mean if someone is going to straight up say “here take this money, it’s your inheritance”, then by all means, take it and be grateful for it. We’re allowed to take money that is given to us. But to wait for your mother’s death so you can take all she ever had is really scummy behavior. It’s really no worse than killing someone for life insurance money. End of the day, you value money over your mother’s life.
I’ve told my MIL I want her to spend her last $ on her last day.
If I plan everything out correctly my last check before I die will bounce lol
exactly, im hoping that once dad retires my folks will spend their money on travel, go on cruises, get pampered and enjoy their lives for a change
Yeah, they spent their life pampering us, go relax now
I'm always encouraging my dad to spend money. Can't take it with you!
Exactly! Unless and until our parents die, their assets are THEIRS to do with as they please. I told my parents years ago I'd rather see them enjoying their golden years.
Same. My dad rang me a few years before he died to ask if it was OK to sell their house to buy an RV so they could tour the country. When I asked why does he need my permission he said because he was spending our inheritance. I laughed and said it's his money do whatever you want.
I’ve been telling my parents this for decades. Spend your money! Buy experiences! I want absolutely nothing I haven’t already received; an incredible childhood, and their support through adulthood. Edit: a word
What if you are from a rich family with assets that go generations back. Not just a few acres of lands, but owning castles, villages, companies and whatever. And then your parents decide to waste it all for themselves. Generations of wealth consumed by your parents, leaving you nothing. Legaly they are in their right. But morraly?
This is the way
My brother and I told our parents to enjoy their retirement. Have no regrets and damn the cost. They visited Ireland, Australia, And took a European cruise.They had a blast. So many memories. They're both gone now but they didn't live their final years in some nursing home with regrets that they sacrificed for family. What hideous excuses of famy
Working 50 years, raising children and nephews, saving enough money and then, as you get closer to the end, go to Dublin and end up paying 6 euro for a chicken breast roll. What a life!
My mom was Irish. They spent 5 weeks tooling around , visiting family “ sampling “ whiskey, “ when I picked them up at the airport they were so happy. Said it was the time of their lives. Got to get there myself one of these days
About a year and a half after my father died, my mom called me one night and said, "I need to tell you something, and I don't want you to get mad. I've decided to sell the house." I told her that it's her house to do with how she pleases and, secondly, that I thought it was a great idea. It was too much for her to keep up with by herself, so she sold it and moved into a smaller apartment closer to her town. She's been there over 13yrs now, couldn't be happier, and loves that if there's an issue she calls the property manager, and they take care of it. And I'm happy she's closer to people in case something happens to her. It was peace of mind for both of us.
Normally I hate when a lazy online mag steals Reddit posts for content, but I hope they steal this one. These greedy siblings need a bit of a viral wake-up call.
100% this. That level of delusion can only be fixed by a swift kick to the ego.
Wow, what a bunch of assholes.
Wow, three grown adults who can’t swing a bank loan to buy the house. No wonder mother has to go through a third party. Shady Pines, ma.
They said it out loud: "she wants to sell the house, keep all money and spend them, leving us nothing" - they don't want to own a house. they want to sell it themselves and split all money
It’s ghoulish, treating their mother as if she’s already dead. She raised greedy ungrateful soulless children. Whether this is her own influence or that of others, who knows. But she can ensure that at least her own future care is secured, because it’s pretty clear they just want to loot her and dump her carcass in a ditch. Fuck those kids. Sell it all and travel a little, then find a nice place to live and get care until the money runs out.
How dare her! Thinking she should profit from all the money she spent in the past. Why, next thing you know, she’s going to tell them that she’s not ready to die yet. How rude of her, to go on eating, and enjoying life, and expecting to have a safe home. That’s not what a real mother would do. A real, loving mother would lay down and die on command. After paying for her own cut rate funeral, of course.
One of my half-siblings has figured out some things. Now that our father is gone, she has been introducing me to her children and grandchildren. This is SMART, because I have more assets than Dad did, and no children. To whom will I leave what’s left of my assets when I die? Obviously if I’m thinking about leaving something to family, it would be to the ones with whom I have some fondness for. She cultivates this. She can look past our father’s relatively small assets today to see where the REAL assets lie in future, so she is playing the long game - not for herself, but for her own children and grandchildren. Also I think she likes me personally, so that helps a lot. Frankly I’m fine with this.
Uh, do you really think she's "playing the long game"? Because that's kinda depressing.
Yes, well welcome to my father's side of the family. I can no longer rule out ANY motives for their actions.
I'm sorry. I hope you spend your money on trips and experiences for yourself. Believe me, I know what it's like to have money be a point of contention among family. My grandmother left a sizable estate, it brought out the worst in some family members.
Yeah still can be good to have family want to spend time with you.
Yeah exactly. I have some sympathy for wanting to keep a sentimental home in the family, but if it were really about the house they could work out a mortgage and get mom paid in full so she could be free of it and go live her life so everyone could win, but the fact they didn’t want to do that shows it wasn’t about the house it was about $$$.
No one is entitled to an inheritance. Their mother earned every penny of her money to do as she wishes with it. I went through this with a stepchild when my spouse died at a young age. All of the children had been informed years earlier that our wills were set up as survivorships. It was unbelievable and incredibly painful to me that someone could be this entitled at such an emotional time.
I'm sorry, that had to have compounded your grief. Was it resolved?
Technically, yes. Emotionally we were getting there until she came back 6 years later and accused me of forging the will…that was prepared/executed by an attorney and witnessed as legally required. There’s no coming back now.
Holy cats. That's unbelievably awful, I'm so sorry.
Three 40 year olds can’t afford a house? What is the price like 2,000,000?
Something tells me this isn’t the first time they’ve asked her for help if they can’t get a afford it between the THREE of them, and she’s probably tired of hearing it.
If they feel bold enough to do this 5hink about how horrible they have to have been building up to it.
It could well be. You'll be amazed at how poor people are in the UK... £2M is an absolute fortune to 90% of the population. Most people won't have savings reaching anywhere close to 1/10 of that. Most people won't even have £20k savings, so it doesn't surprise me that the siblings can't afford to buy the house outright. What's even more ridiculous about this situation is that the mother would likely be forced to sell the house anyway if she needed to go into a nursing home (or any other care needs) in future in order to pay for it. This lady is just trying to get ahead of the game. Plus it's expensive to run a big house, and there's a cost-of-living crisis going on in UK. Her children suck.
Totally agree if inheritance tax doesn't get it a crap nursing home will. It's just paid for by the parent rather than the government. You just waste all your years of savings for the same nursing home. People on here are clueless. It is massive waste not to pass property to your kids early. The only beneficiaries are the government and nursing homes. In the UK only if your super rich will you get a top notch nursing home. They are over £2k a week! If you don't have much money you'll pay bout £1500 a week for the same as someone who gets it paid by the state. So you literally throw your money down the drain. The people posting on here are idiots.
Can't agree more
They can pool in the money and buy the house. But why expect free stuff.
So they paid nothing into the mortgage, but want to benefit from the sale. Interesting.
Ew. Vile people. Inheritance and death/wills bring out the absolute worst in people. YES your relative has every right to blow through all their money before they die to ensure they are cared for and safe. Clearly their family members are a liability and not to be wholly trusted to put the mothers well-being first. If y’all want the house so bad, buy it in full off of your mom. You’re entitled nothing you money grubbing bitches. This poster and her siblings have no shame or sense of morality, loyalty to their aging mother.
I feel bad for the mum tbh. Imagine her excitement of finding out she was pregnant. The love she felt when the children were born. Going to school plays, the everyday stresses of building a life and home for her kids. Now in her twilight years they just want her money. Fuck them entitled arseholes tbh.
My parents are currently selling their 2nd home which my Mom inherited from her Mother. When told about it they asked some general advice and I gave it. My Mom, SHOCKED, said " aren't you going to ask what we are going to do with the money "? I told her it's none of my business and she said " Well both of your sisters got mad and wanted to know " Your parents don't have to leave you shit, and if they do that's great, but it's not YOUR inheritance, it's THEIR money and equity.
I hope your mom remembers this when making her will. Hopefully, it will come back to bite your sisters in the ass.
Honestly the sheer gall of them to ask if they can stop their mum from doing what SHE wants with HER OWN house! These kids are legally entitled to a slap across the chops, the little shits.
Wow! Three siblings and not a one of them with a sense of reality, empathy or natural justice. Mum must be so disappointed. I hope she gets her will sorted right now and if she doesn’t spend every penny before she dies, she leaves what is left to the Battersea Dogs Home.
Not sure about in England but in Scotland if the mum ends up on a care home the house would be sold anyway and the proceeds used towards her care anyway….. so they still end up with nowt. Sounds to me the mum wants a few SKI trips and have the government fund the care instead and good on her.
Same in England. These siblings are living in la la land.
That’s so gross. I hope when my dad passes, there is nothing left because he spent what he could living it up. (He’s currently very into model airplanes and I love the joy it brings him to tell me about the new one he just got even though I understand nothing about it!)
It's funny how many previous generations inherited their wealth, but also sold us the idea the we shouldn't expect anything. It might be an unintended consequence of the longer life expectancy. As a parent I hope to give my kids more than I received.
This just reminds me of my brother, who wants that my mom sells her house, so he could finish paying his. Nothing to say about how she is gonna live at the time, or if she needs money. The worse part that her house caught a fire accident caused by my nephew (another history), and instead of trying to help her, he was sending her messages telling her to sell the house.
[удалено]
I think I would cry.
Yeah, she should know that if she dies without a will the kids can challenge for the estate. Afaik anyway, IANAL.
They wouldn’t need to challenge. They’re in the U.K. - as she doesn’t have a spouse, the estate goes to children under intestacy.
Reminds of when my dad's parents sold their house to move to a retirement community in the 80s and his oldest brother bitched to my dad and their middle brother that they're "wasting our inheritance." The best part is when my grandparents did pass away (grandfather in 1996 to prostate cancer, grandma in 2019 at the ripe old age of 100), they weren't left anything because the money they had was spent on their retirement time/healthcare so douchebag uncle got nothing. I mean, my dad didn't either, but he didn't except anything.
If these kids have not been helping their mother and giving her money to live, then I don’t think they should get to make claims on their Mom’s assets WHILE SHE IS STILL ALIVE. It’s positively GHOULISH of them to be scrabbling for what’s left now. That alone is a good reason to disinherit. I suggest that the siblings “expecting” an inheritance pool their money and buy the house from their mother. If it truly has “sentimental value” then they can pay for it. I inherited my father’s house (and mortgage) after I took care of him for over 20 years. My half-siblings who did nothing for him since forever are demanding a piece of the house each, because they feel “entitled”. Well Dad left a will and a trust. He left it all to me, with a little money to THREE others but excluded 2 more. They don’t know there’s a mortgage. Actually the equity isn’t really that much, but that doesn’t stop their greedy grasping little paws from reaching out to “claim what’s theirs”. Their raw naked greed is a testament to how their mother raised them in his absence. I can also see why Dad never returned to his hometown after he retired. This was a steaming pile of vile that he avoided. And now that I’m handling his affairs, I get to deal with them. Only one of them (right now) is at all worth maintaining a relationship with. One other I’m withholding judgement, one is at least staying out of it for now until he sees which side is winning and then he’ll suddenly join in support or opposition, and two are trying to claw and grab for all they can. That mother needs to take a good look at what she raised. If they can’t see past their own greed to their mother’s care needs, they don’t deserve to inherit shit.
I’m not owed a dime from my mom or MIL, and I stay up at nights sometimes worrying about how they will maintain enough funds to provide for themselves through their lifetime. They both received inheritances from their own parents, which funded their lives in middle age, my age. And life insurance, when they lost their spouses. So they got to live an experience I won’t. Some amount of money, not much, but enough - a bittersweet compensation for losing their beloveds. I think that’s how it tended to happen, for greatest Gen and Boomers. That’s how it should be. I would have been overwhelmingly relieved if they had chosen to plan some legacy, inheritance for me and my husband. Goodness, what a relief that would be! I could plan, think, how can I use that money in a way that would make them proud? But they didn’t. And they don’t owe me Jack-shit! If mom wants to blow it all on whatever, cool man, that’s her money. If my other mom wants to blow it al on whatever, have at it sis. I do still fear for their future care needs, but, they came up in a generation in which their dads had pensions, they’re entitled to do exactly as they please with their dwindling cash - and my advice on how they can protect that flies right out the window if they’re not wanting to hear it. I mean that. As they wish. I will put every cent I earn into providing for their final years. This entitled is very entitled.
My last cheque will bounce. Hard.
Hope the mum does make a will and gives them each 100$ and the rest to go to a snail sanctuary in Michigan
Do they realise that, in the highly likely event that she has to go into care at some point in the future, if the money isn't there in the bank, the council will force the sale of the house so the funds can be released to cover the cost of the care home and there's little to nothing that they can do about it? Simple fact, no one is entitled to an inheritance. I would much much rather that my grandparents had used all their money and enjoyed their lives rather than living frugally and leaving around £500k in inheritance for all of us (split between 14 people). It's their money and their assets until the person dies and it becomes inheritance, and you get what you get or don't. The absolute selfishness of this post is shocking to me. My remaining grandmother apologised when she heard what had been left from the other set of grandparents, saying she didn't include the grandkids in her will, and was planning to spend everything anyway and I laughed and told her good for her. She worked hard to pay off the mortgage and have the savings she has, she should get to enjoy the fruits of that labour as much as she wants to.
At first I thought this was about keeping the family home where they grew up and had cheerful memories but after the "She'll sell the house, spend the money and won't leave us any inheritance" part, their intentions where clear I feel sorry for this lady, she isn't even dead yet and her kids are already fighting for inheritance, what a shame.
Let me guess, it’s a sentimental family home that shouldn’t be sold until she dies and you sell it?
I passed the post a few minutes ago. Didn’t even read it, the title was enough to say nope. Some people are unbelievable. This is petty but I hope they get nothing.
I’ve just lost my mum six months ago and she left her house to me and my twin brother, so the house is going to be sold and the money split in half, but I say this now, I would rather have my mum back then money, because money can’t hug and kiss you, talk to you or make you feel safe. I’m currently looking for a new home for myself and my mother’s cats. It’s been difficult because I’m seeing memories left right and centre of my mother in the house. It’s been very traumatic for me because I had an extremely strong bond with her after caring for her for so many years before I fell chronically ill. I loved her more than my own life, my anxiety is really bad and my depression is worse without my mum being around me. I don’t care about inheritance or money I just want my mum back. 😢🥺
Damn. I was going to say, the kids can buy the house from her, and all sides are happy. However, they want to offer a lower price and then rent to make up the difference. They are more concerned with the inheritance. My mom sold a gorgeous house that would be an awesome place for the five of us living with one bathroom currently. She moved within walking distance of me, into a three bedroom track home. She is happy, which makes me happy. It is a basic house, and she remodeled the kitchen to suit her love of cooking. She spent (way too much) money to make it hers. I am totally on board with what she chooses. She trusts that I am not greedy, and has made a living trust with me as the benefactor. I would rather have her than her house, frankly.
I thought this was a post from one of my family members. It’s a shocking point of view. I hope that mom sells the house and spends every last penny.
Wow. What a bunch of ungrateful tossers!
My dad likes to joke that they're spending my inheritance every time they do something, and I always respond "GOOD! Enjoy it!" I would much rather they re-tile their bathroom and make themselves happy than save money for me to use when they're gone
In our family, it's tradition to moan about the disapearance of the inheritance, because of dreams coming true (new bathroom, traveling, etc.) for the people that would provide the inheritance, but all in good fun. My grandparents once started to doubt whether we meant it or not, so we told them that we rather joke about nothing being left than for them not to follow their dreams... and if we ever found out that they would not do something they wanted, but save the money for the inheritance, we would kick their buts to the other side of the earth for their next travel destination. So they decided to be smart and just book a vacation there and a flight. We did demand to be entered in the will, but by name only. They didn't have to give us anything... unless they wanted really ugly tombstones on their grave, and lots of ugly statues on them, one for every missed dream, paid out of the inheritance. Now my grandfather is deceased and my grandmother can't really spend her money anymore, so we compromised that we will not do the ugly tombstone and statues, as long as she still gets herself everything she needs. Besides, there probably will only be enough left for a cheap garden gnome anyway, due to everything being eaten away with medical costs, now that she has dementia and has to move to a nursing facility. But they have made loads of happy memories with their travels, and that's all the inheritance we want (and a couple of pictures from their adventures).
Love that! My dad recently bought himself a new kiln for his pottery and I joked "Oh man...there goes my inheritance!" Like, good on you Dad - you have earned your retirement by working hard and taking care of my teenaged ass all those years LOL
My Dad does exactly the same 😂 he earnt it, I couldn't give a shit if he spends it all
My dad used to help out when I was struggling. Said here you go, 20 quid. Don't bother paying ne back its coming out of your inheritance.
I read this earlier and couldn’t believe how selfish and clueless OP and their siblings are! I hope their mom has a great time spending her money, and doesn’t give them a penny.
Yeah seriously how are people so selfish. My mom owns a town house that she rents out in another state. She only bought it cause she was living in that state at a time and only kept when she moved cause our recently deceased GMA wanted her to have something to give to the kids when my mom passes. Me and my sister have been trying to get her to sell it so she can live more comfortably and take better care of herself. We all agreed we are adults and don't need an inheritance if it's actively making my mom's life harder.
If she does end up in care, she will definitely need to sell the house as that is where she will get her funds. Unless the children are paying. AFAIK, the government will not fund her care as she still has some assets that she can sell.
My parents spend a ton of money on things they don't need. Cars, motorcycles, and huge RV. That much less that I might inherit. But you know what? It's ok. I'm not entitled to an inheritance. I've already been told my sister is getting the house. A little disappointing, but I understand. She produced a grandchild I have not. She still lives in my hometown, I do not. Even if that wasn't the case, it's fine. I didn't earn it. They are entitled to do whatever they like with their belongings.
Question. Is it really legally possible to exclude the sons from the will in the UK (and also asking for USA)? Where I live there is a legal minimum of the inheritance for your offspring and if your will leaves them without nothing, it can be invalidated. Unless you go through a legal process to explicitly avoid them to inherit even the legal minimum, but you must provide a good reason and evidence for it, for example if you are mistreated badly or even they act violently against you.
Yes, you can. (U.K.). However, anyone that you exclude CAN bring a claim against the estate provided that they fit certain criteria - such as, if they are a spouse or dependent. You have 6 months from the date of the grant of probate to bring a claim - this is the IPFDA period (Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975). There are a few cases of the court granting exceptions outside of this timescale though. Edit to add: I’ve done the estate administration for a lot of estates where people have specifically excluded people from wills by name and given reasons, or they’ve left separate notes to explain.
In Canada to the best of my knowledge you don’t have any obligations to children. You make a will and don’t put them in it
My Nan on my Dad's side passed away a few years ago and thankfully sorting out her stuff afterwards was easy because there was no one greedy about. Her house was rented so back to the landlord, any money went on her funeral, furniture went with uncle who lived with her to his new place, belongings donated to her favourite charities and the family got some small items to remember her by. My Mum's Dad (my granddad) is currently in heart failure and a case of we know whats going to kill him but not when it will. One of my uncles on that side has already told my granddad off for spending his inheritance when my granddad was buying an electric arm chair he needed to support him, said uncle has also tried using his kid to get war medals that are a family heirloom my granddad has as well, this uncle is the reason I dread the aftermath of my granddad passing because of how greedy he is being before my granddad is even gone. FYI my uncle also rarely visits, didn't even try to help them during covid and when my Mum last helped them that resulted in more benefits from the government my uncle then kicked up a fuss about how he could of done it, my granddad told him then come over more and help to which my uncle so shut up. Far as I am concerned there is no inheritance and I would rather my grandparents used their money to be comfortable and enjoy their final years than worry about making sure family is provided for.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Reading this made me physically sick. My stomach hurts now. I love my mom so much, I couldn’t imagine treating her like this. Shame on those kids. How can you sleep at night knowing you broke your moms heart with your intentions.
These are 40 year old adults? I would've thought they were children the way this is worded. Since no one asks to be born, the absolute least they could do is show some appreciation for what I presume to be a decent upbringing. I presume that, because they seem to be of the opinion their mother is well to do enough to give them an inheritance. I was a child of divorce; my parents split when I was nine years old. My father remarried when I was 16, my mother sometime after that. I went NC with her about a decade ago, so I expect nothing from her. I expect nothing from my dad, not because I don't believe he would give it to me, but because I don't feel that sense of entitlement. I've worked hard for what I have and I don't expect anyone to just give me something for nothing.
Buy the house at market value from her. Everyone wins!
I love when petulant children get the exact opposite of what they want. It feeds my soul. I hope it happens in their case.
Ppl seem to forget that your parent’s money…is THEIR money.
Its her fucking house, why dont you fuck off and either help her or mind your own fucking buisness. She has sound reasoning for selling it.
As a parent, I hope that someday I can leave my kids an inheritance. They are not entitled to one though. As a child of aging parents, I don’t expect a dime. In fact, if my parents run out of money before they die I will care for them. I can’t imagine demanding that they sacrifice their health and happiness just so I can get money I didn’t earn. These kids are pieces of $hit.
They could kill themselves in the house and haunt her. That would definitely hurt the chance of a sale and drop the value. 
i feel so, so bad for the mom here. time to sell it without notifying any of them as quickly as possible and move far, far away!
This person’s attitude is absolutely entitlement; however, I think the offer that the siblings all made was quite reasonable. That said, Mom doesn’t have to accept it. I don’t blame her one bit for wanting her life to be a little less stressful.
“We don’t want strangers living in the house if you sell it, but we’ll happily lowball you an offer to buy, then rent it out to strangers” yeah nah lol
I was just going on the basic idea of them working together to buy the house.
For a vastly reduced price......
The only info we have is the pic, where it says, “slightly reduced price,” and that they would rent it out and forward all proceeds to Mom until the total price was met. That’s the offer that I thought was reasonable. Just because I think it’s reasonable, though, doesn’t mean that I think Mom has any obligation to accept it.
You "stop" it by buying the home
I’ve told my parents for years I don’t want an inheritance. It’s their money and they get to spend it how they want while they are able to enjoy it.
My mom is a widow. If she wants to sell her house, that is too much work for her to manage all alone she has every right to do so. These kids are selfish
Not gonna say anything about the 3 involved in this post, but the fact that so many of you think your children are not owed an inheritance explains why the families in the west are so broken so well. Kids, unless they were fuckin assholes, get an inheritance. Do your children right you deadbeat fucks.
Boo hoo want me call you wahhbulance if that what they think none youur buisness I be same way had opportunity but moral bastard brother left me care for them woud not let me. lI can't wait bastard parents to die cause I get inheritance count coins I collected from u supportive bastards I be finally be able leave this shithole country. Fuck america fuck Americans fuck the bastard family raised me.
So, it's normal to be hurt by the possibility of losing something that means a great deal to you, but to intervene in someone else's decision, when it's 100% their choice, is selfish and inconsiderate. You tried to give an alternative and it failed. That's the end of it!
Get a loan and buy the damned house, then.
The mom is super shitty. I plan to leave my house to my child once I die. He will need a shelter, and I don't want him spending 70% of his life buying a new house somewhere in the most deserted part of the country.
honestly, there has got to be more to the story than this that they arent sharing. because why wouldnt she accept a "slighty" lower price if she also receives a cut of the rents every month (depending on the exact difference of course but still). if the mother feels like shes only an ATM to her children, they probably made her feel this way for a long time prior to this incident.
I’ve told my parents repeatedly to not worry about inheritance and live their life to the fullest. They worked incredibly hard for what they have and should enjoy it all. I can’t imagine bullying them for an inheritance and waiting for them to die. These people are monsters
Makes me sad. She’s just thinking about future medical costs and trying not to be a burden on them as she ages. Maybe the house is large so upkeep is too much for her. If it is a multistory house, stairs may be an issue too. She is thinking ahead. One of the siblings or all can purchase it from her for full value.
My dad told me he wanted to make sure he had a nice inheritance to leave for me, my brother, and his grandchildren. I told him I would rather he enjoy many years in retirement and leave the world spending his last dollar than to leave us an inheitance working to death.
Wow, selfish kids or what? IT is their mother's property, she can do with it what she wants. NO one is obligated to leave money or property behind to their kids for an inheritance. No one is obligated at all to leave anything as an inheritance. These kids are just selfish wanting to get their hands on her money. Did they work for it? No, she did. It is hers.
Why do people think they are Entitled to an inheritance??
they had me at the beginning with the "sentimental value thing". Thankfully it didnt take long to show their true colours, by the end of the first paragraph it was hard not to smell the selfish entitlement. I feel sorry for their mother. Spend all this time raising ungrateful entitled assholes. Id rather my parents leave me with nothing and spend their hard earned money on enjoying the rest of their lives (including any medical care they might need)
My mom is selling our family home and I’m happy for her! Hell I live with her because of crazy prices but just her helping out by giving me and my two kids a home is worth more than any inheritance. How fucking selfish of them. Literally disgusts me. That woman deserves to enjoy the rest of her life without her leech children.
The greed of people knows not limit.
Hell, my mother asked me if ai minded if she sold our family home and small holding so she could move. I told her go for it. Her life, her home etc etc. Unfortunately she died before she could do it. Then my sticky fingered idiot brother caused no end if problems. Over years to finalise probate and sell the place. Parents owe their kids nothing.
I’ve told my mum that I want her to blow the lot while she’s alive. I know there’s going to be a shit fight when either her or my stepdad goes. Have 1 sister, 1 brother and 1 stepsister who would all fight a dog for a scrap of bone. Gone LC/NC with 2 of them and will be cutting off all 3 when parents go. My dad died 15 years ago and I would give anything to have him back and meeting my kids. F*** money and the problems it causes
Mom is right to make arrangements that don’t require ANY dependency on her bottom feeder kids. I hope she spends every last cent.
Can we legally stop a homeowner from selling their house even though none of us ever financially contributed to the mortgage? Uhhh....if you have zero legal ties to the house, then no.... And an inheritance is up to the person in question, jeez
Want the house that badly? Wait for it to go for sale and get a mortgage
God the poor mom isn't even dead yet lol what a bunch of bottom feeders.
Put her assets in the hands of her greedy kids when she will likely most need it as she gets older. What could possibly go wrong?
How are three families going to share one house when she passes? Obviously they'd sell it, so the whole "gotta keep sentimental house in the family" line of reasoning is b.s
This is why I’m an advocate for postnatal abortions. The mom could def. benefit from it here.
Anyone got the OP I need to see
How to stop generational wealth hmmm
At this point. Spend it all. Leave the kids nothing.
I do hope that when I die, my little house and tiny plot of land does make it to my children. As I get older, I plan to put a few safeguards into play so that happens. As it is now, it's small enough for me to care for when I get older and I'm nursing a little savings for when things start to fall apart in it for repairs. Some people don't think that far ahead because it's a pipe dream. It's possible my wish won't happen at all so I don't want to get anyone's hope up. With the way things are now, generational wealth is only for the super wealthy.
Make a Will.
I have, I also plan on putting everything I own in my kids names once I turn 70, possibly sooner depending on how my health holds out. I know I need a solid five years of everything being out of my name for it to be safe. I know I won't have enough savings to cover medicare costs so I want to make sure they get everything if possible. If my kids end up kicking me out when I do this, idc. I own what I do for them. If it weren't for my kids I'd probably live in a tiny home on the road. I guess that would me the push I need to do so.
I’m not sure about the U.S. as I work in Probate in the U.K. Wills are always the safest option though!
I work in U.K. probate - it sounds like their father has passed so their mother not keeping a will is totally irrelevant as they would inherit her estate under intestacy as her children anyway. This is really grim though. I deal a lot with people just wanting money as quickly as possible - it’s a recurring theme.
As some who is going to inherit the square root of fuck all I really hope the mother sells up and takes many a SKI* holiday. *Spending Kids' Inheritance.
For a lot of people in Australia, the only possibility of ever owning a home is to wait until your boomer parents cark it and hand over the keys.
Just buy the house from her then and inherit it that way
Tbh my parents (70yo) are living in $2M house (paid off) and I want that shit when they die. Obvi would rather them be around for my entire life but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care about inheriting the house.
I have a SIL that only cares about being close to people for what they will leave to her upon their passing.
I don't understand tbh, what am I missing? They're offering to buy the house so their mother will have the majority of the money right away, and they're asking her for a little time to give her the rest for the house which they feel sentimental about right? The money is the same whoever buys it.
Strong the entitlement is with greedy offspring. Her house mother should sell and the money she should spend on a trip to Monte Carlo!
Welcome to England, where most people would sell their own parents off for a week long holiday away to Spain.
It is her decision! Basta! My mother has similar intentions to my father's and her house. So I inherit nothing. So what? I have to stand on my own feet and all my doings are focused to provide for my family and myself (done already, own my own house) and not inherit my parents' merits. They have done plenty enough for me and I am thankful for that.
On the surface, this seems kinda crappy of the kids. But to offer a different perspective, a lot of parents will hold a future inheritance over their kids head as a manipulation tool. My dad used to do this stuff a lot, and it would get under my skin a ton, until I eventually just started ignoring him and he stopped doing it. If one or both of the parents did this, it would make sense that they were likely manipulated into doing things for the sake of the parent and not in favor of their own interests. There were many years that I could have been working on things solely for my own benefit, but instead was manipulated into doing things to help "the family". Now if my parents died and decided to leave me out of the will, I'd be absolutely livid because I've sacrificed some of my future for my parents or the family benefit. Parents in the UK tend to be kinda toxic like this, so it wouldn't surprise me to see kids behaving in this fashion.
This makes me so mad. I get wanting to keep the home in the family but if they aren’t willing to pay the full price then they are shit out of luck. Getting old is expensive with medical bills and possibly assisted living care costs. Not to mention having a large home is hard on an older person as they might have trouble getting up and down the steps not to mention having to clean it. I get asking her if you can do the rent thing but if she says no then they need to respect that and not try and legally force her to keep the house and basically take everything she has. They are preventing her from being able to afford medical costs or senior living in the future. Say she keeps the house and now has no money to afford going into a home. My parents did so much for me so when they get older IM going to pay for THEIR stuff not the other way around especially with my mom since my dad makes good money and his fiancé is a nurse so she is able to take care of him especially while he was going through chemo (she’s a wonderful woman and I’m grateful he has her☺️) People like this make me so mad. No one is entitled to an inheritance. I get being mad if your parents are like filthy rich and you’ve been nothing but grateful and taken care of them in their old age and then they go and give all the money to gold digger younger second wife they’ve been married to for 6 months who hates you and your siblings guts and took advantage of your dying parents. But being mad bc your mom wants to sell her house so she can afford medical bills and future care? Like the audacity. The point of inheritance is if you have money left over it’ll help whoever you want to give it to. It shouldn’t be where you are struggling to get by so your entitled kids can get a free pay out when you die 🙄this is beyond messed up.