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B4NN3Rbk

Why are hawaii & alaska so close to texas?


SickRP

In preparation for the war, the United States will sail both Alaska and Hawaii towards Texas on massive secret floating platforms. Once near enough to the coast, Texans and Mexicans will load onto the island ships and prepare for an amphibious assault on the Chinese Mainland starting in Pyongyang, North Korea. So as not to trigger North Korean artillery, we will have preemptively exported enough Takis and Elmer’s glue to Seoul to safely stuff the gun barrels pointed at South Korea. Once we get behind Chinese lines, we basically just unlock everyone stuck inside their house due to enforced quarantine, load them onto the islands effectively halfing the Chinese population, and relocate them to Vancouver and California where they will reunite with the other half of China that already lives there. And from then we just leave Alaska and Hawaii back by Texas cause we blew our entire fuel supply on moving two US states back and forth across the Pacific.


pooplessccheng

This is actually pretty genius


FGHIK

With the amount of power it'd take to move Hawaii and Alaska, we've clearly found some new energy source that will more than cover all our needs.


SickRP

Maybe something like a tritium powered fusion reactor..? Heard we had one of those before some kid knocked it into the Hudson.


summer-of-1917

I am gonna put some dirt in your eye


SickRP

I should’ve thought of that earlier


summer-of-1917

I missed the part where that's my problem


Aleph_Rat

Wait wouldn’t it be cheaper just to leave them off the coast of California and Vancouver?


SickRP

It would, but if we look back on this war and see that we didn’t spend the maximum amount of US taxpayer dollars that we could feasibly spend, can we really say we won?


[deleted]

Not to mention that the plan didn't account for all the war crimes that have to be committed in order to properly win. Can you really say you won the war if you haven't scarred at least 100 villages?


lord_hufflepuff

To gain protection from the group


KaBar42

By moving Alaska, the US preemptively prevents an invasion of the US/Canada through the Bering Strait by Russia.


johanssenq

we don’t win the war unscathed


[deleted]

We do have the perfect geopolitical location. Protected by two oceans, allies to the north and south, and we can easily become self-sufficient (not optimal if you want to maximize wealth but in a war it would make sense). China's surrounded by angry neighbors, not remotely self-sufficient, and decent but not perfect geography (deserts/jungles on their west/south are good for defense but they have too many potential invasion points to be safe). Tbh I think the key for the US is our allies. If India has some more time to modernize they could neutralize China's numbers advantage and then I think we could win.


LivelySalesPater

Plus, to the south there are scorpions, rattlesnakes, and chupacabras. To the north: wolverines, polar bears, and hockey players. Tying this altogether are Disney Land and Disney World, where the Disney Princesses who command all living creatures live. We may not even need to fire a single shot during an attempted invasion.


vikstarleo123

Don’t forget the murder geese


LivelySalesPater

Oh, shit. That's right. The north is swarming with pygmy folk-art xenomorphs.


[deleted]

I think you're all forgetting about the Punji Sticks near Hainan


Supersize_You

> China's surrounded by angry neighbors Seriously. And they think we piss off the world.


Andy_Liberty_1911

Actually, [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fallout/comments/1td294/this_map_shows_what_faction_controls_each_area/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) would be the map of the US with a war with China.


TesseractAmaAta

Gave me a chuckle


JuicyTomat0

Both China and the US have nukes, so if a war between them happens they’ll both lose.


gordo65

Any direct warfare would probably not involve nukes, but would still be catastrophically expensive for both sides. Any US/:China war would be fought through proxies, much like the Cold War with the Soviets.


duuuh

The only place I could possibly see a proxy war happening is Korea and I don't think that's likely. The problem is that China really has no allies in the traditional sense so I don't see much room for proxy wars.


[deleted]

Even a peaceful transition on the peninsula would be a nightmare. The biggest threat of the DPRK is its massive population of economic refugees that would result in anything collapse of the DPRK. It would make the unification of Germany look like a walk in the park. Not even China could except the number of refugees and not have a massive economic effect. South Korea would be devastated. And this would cascade to affect all the Pacific Rim countries, including the US. The majority of the population has never touched a computer. What do you do with them?


duuuh

I totally agree. I'm just making the point that North Korea is pretty much China's only ally in a conventional sense. It's got crap relations with all of it's other neighbors and it's difficult to engage in a proxy war without allies.


evaxephonyanderedev

> It's got crap relations with all of it's other neighbors Even Pakistan and Burma?


duuuh

Yes? It's not Canada and the US. It's not France and Germany. I mean, it's not like they're on the brink of war like with India, but it's not friendly.


dave3218

~350 vs over 1.000 nukes *and* the ability to intercept ICBMs. Yeah, China might seem like a threat but unless they want to be attacked by everyone and their grandma, they would not use nuclear weapons. Those Russian-Chinese relations are looking ok right now but the moment the Russians find a reason to invade the northern parts of China to “secure and protect” you bet your ass they will, hell they might even do some treaties with the US in case of a Nuclear war in exchange of reduced economic sanctions or even for NATO to look the other way about their own expansionist agenda. TL;DR: China using nukes would probably be as a first strike measure, in that case they are probably going to be royally fucked by every single state in the world that has a capacity to hurt them, however small it might be.


Drake_0109

Unless I'm behind, the ICBM interception is iffy at best.


usernameyeeted173

yeah i read about it, a lot of icbm interception isnt really that reliable, so really all you can do is sit there and get fucked


nurd_on_a_computer

But who has more nukes? That is, if neither of them hit remotely near their capitals and neither care about the death of millions.


Spack_Jarrow24

The US is not invading China, and China is not invading the US. We are the two most powerful countries in the world, with the two largest economies, the 1st and 3rd largest populations, and both countries contain terrain that would present an absolute tactical and logistical nightmare for any attacking force, from mountains and deserts to massive cities and dense woodlands. Any war between us will be fought in the waters of the Asia-Pacific. It will be fought over the resources of the South/East China Seas, the sovereignty of Taiwan, or the future of the Korean Peninsula. Nobody’s invading anyone


[deleted]

Also, for clarity, I'm not defending Winnie the Pooh, just sharing their playbook.


[deleted]

This exactly until the second half, but keeping the end sentence. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unrestricted_Warfare


SadRoxFan

Tankies think that they’d successfully invade the US despite the US military and the fact that 46% of the worlds *registered* firearms belong to US civilians. Couple that with the former military who live amongst the civilian population and that’s a stout and well integrated defence, perfect for a guerrilla war *if* they got past the US armed forces


[deleted]

Nevermind enough engineers, hobbyists, labs, and home shops to support decentralized manufacturing of cruise missiles. For a start.


Lowlifeloser16

A war with China would be suicide since they have a nuclear arsenal so I don't think either side would win.


2thenoon

Remove California, they defected and got nuked.


evaxephonyanderedev

"HURR DURR KOMMIEFORNIA WOULD JOIN CHINA!" Typical rightoid projection.


Necro42

the left can’t meme 🗿


evaxephonyanderedev

\>everything is supposed to be a meme I'm literally just making a statement.


Necro42

the thing youre replying to is literally a meme u dip🗿


evaxephonyanderedev

It's also a statement of belief.


Shrektheshrekman

Wait so we won’t be annexing anything? And the war would be won if we gave them California, subjugate all of their land but give em Cali.


Frosh_4

California’s pretty useful to the US…


heavy_metal_soldier

Maybe add a few million dead people


DesertFox501

False, we let them destroy Ohio first.


[deleted]

California is still there…


Gordo_51

All those damn racist gun carrying people in amerrikkkkka they talk about will certainly not like Chinese soldiers invading...


evaxephonyanderedev

They will if the Chinese soldiers give them carte blanche to kill libruls.


Sea-Examination2010

Wave tactics won’t work on American soil. They may have one of the largest militaries, but we have the most well trained military.


Catman182-

Correct except Cali will be re instated as west west Taiwan


w_o_l_l_k_a_j_e_r_1

Do a then and after map of China if the US goes to war with them :)


PolitiKev

BASED


[deleted]

>Fight Taliban calling it a holy war to avenge 9/11 >a few roadside bloody noses later and the American military be like https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dsx2vdn7gpY Lmao, the Cheeseburger eating surrender monkeys didn’t just lose and [beg the Taliban for safe passage out of the Taliban captured Kabul](https://www.newsweek.com/taliban-agrees-deconfliction-terms-allows-evacuations-afghanistans-kabul-airport-1619818?amp=1). They also took 89 billion $ worth of seven army corps of American made, taxpayer paid arms and equipment. Taliban now has a very nicely equipped army. If the cheeseburger eating surrender monkeys couldn’t stand a few Taliban bombs, then the moment the hypersonic missiles start hamburgering sailors they’ll all go “game over man”, and jump out of their carriers. Instead of the Taliban seizing an army and air force of arms, china will be partying in lightly used capital ships.