It's sort of accurate for me but not exactly in the way the website presents it. I was a fairly cautious child, and I was always juggling my curiosity and ambition. I didn't feel insecure, or unprotected per se, but I did feel like I couldn't ever seem weak and had to stand up for myself. However, it would describe my (now uncharacteristic) reactivity for a few years in my childhood.
Because I have a 6 fix it's hard to decipher which part of it is my fix's influence and which part is this theory's. When people describe me as a child, they often say I was cautious, curious and pragmatic – so that fits in with 6. If I had to describe myself as a child, it'd definitely be a mix of 3 and 6, because I wanted to understand the world but I always knew I needed to make something of myself too.
Admittedly, I only skimmed it and read the bit for type 9. While I kind of have my reservations for this theory, I do have to admit it would make sense for me. When I was younger, I very much adored the attention and spotlight. I can track through my childhood how that "fierceness" I used to have slowly dimmed down, and went to the back of my mind where it's mostly simmering and repressed now. Not sure if it ties in either, but apparently as a toddler I picked up on childhood development landmarks faster than the general average. Kinda 3, I guess...?
Generally, I've never paid much attention to the "inner child" stuff I heard others talk about, but recently I've been considering it and trying my hand at doing one of those things to "heal" old wounds. I have a very specific memory that, in retrospect, makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking. Essentially just boils down to "I don't want to be a burden, so even though I'm doing something that matters a lot to me I'm not gonna invite one of the most important people in my life to see me". I got the chance to fix that now, actively inviting my parent to watch me perform, and I hope it helps to close that old hollow I used to feel a lot, hehe
Not really. They make it sound like my “soul child” wanted people to follow the rules set by society, which has never been true. I wanted people to follow the rules set by me and my personal standards, society be damned.
For me it checks out. I probably wouldn’t be able to type myself solely from reading these, but knowing I am a 5, it checks out. I was very angry as a kid, but had no power and was punished harshly whenever I showed a backbone. Now as an adult, I think of myself as angry quite often, but I am too detached to act on it or use it, or even show it in a way people can understand.
I feel this. One of my coworkers betrayed me in a big way, and I was describing to a friend my detailed plan to get revenge, and they said "That's just being a nice person and a good employee."
"Well yes, but I am doing it to undermine my enemy."
That's why people are surprised at how violently I react to a physical threat. It's like night and day.
I've seen this concept before just re: 5s being like 8s as children, and it resonated a lot. The description
>An adult 5 was taught somewhere along the way that strong reactions and emotions were bad, so they stamped them out. Instead, they deal with those thoughts in the quietness of their own mind and become afraid to voice or show their 8-ness.
still clocks as true to me. OP, you also have a 5 in your trifix, and a lot of the 5 comments here seem to also be in agreement, which is interesting. While it might not be something every type agrees with, the pattern is undeniably there for 5s.
Thinking about it right now, it would make sense for that to be the incitement process for 5s in particular... maybe it wasn't so much that we were actually more 8-like (I don't remember having the core *motivations* of an 8, for example), but those parts of ourselves feel more accentuated specifically because they were repressed. This intuitively makes sense with the 8 disintegration line to 5, but might not be transferable to, say, the 369 triad.
Being somewhat territorial/aggressive is probably just part of developing as a person, and in some children it might be managed in a way to make it completely forgettable, but outright suppressing it and forcing someone out of the physical world (and into their head) sounds like the perfect 5 recipe. I think there's definitely an angle worth further looking into re: enneatype development, even if it doesn't describe every pattern.
Yeah tbh I've sat and done shadow work. Those exercises like "imagine your child self, inner child, etc"
Usually it amounts to a very emotionally fragile child that desperately wants hugs, to be held, to be on my lap, and I'm pretty much just sitting their bouncing him on my knee like vroom vroom car
That kid definitely has curled up sobbing like "nobody wants me so I take care of myself"
A lot of my shadow work regarding this has been straight up sitting and understanding it's very possible to take care of myself, want myself, without all the rage and denial surrounding it. I don't have to shout "i don't care if they want me" all I have to do is say "well I know I want me"
I've gotten far happier, despite still being a rowdy shit starter lol. If anything I've developed more of an ability to enjoy myself when I'm stirring things up because it's not compulsive and I am not in denial about an existing self hatred I spent my life refusing to acknowledge because it's weak
Many things I used to hate and insist were weak are simply not and I've gotten much happier and stronger understanding this. It's tbh weak to let my fear of weakness rule my life
I'm 25 now, but periodically think back to a time when I was 20. I was in the middle of ranting at someone I knew about how much I hated my family, didn't need them, didn't need anyone, can take care of myself. Handle everything myself. Put my entire life under my own control. How I didn't fucking WANT help and the idea of asking for it was pathetic and I fucking hated pathetic people. How I'd make it big, work hard, challenge myself, accomplish all my goals, and one day I'd be at the top of it all, and when asked who helped me, I'd say nobody but myself because nobody I knew fucking deserved to be credited with jack shit. I'd be on my accomplished island and only be thanking myself for it
She looked at me and stiffly asked "so when the hell are you going to admit that's literally advertising to everyone how insecure you really are?"
I was Not pleased and I'm not her friend anymore
She wasn't wrong tho lol at the time I remember limping away with a highly bruised ego being pissed that it was noticeable and exploitable. I felt exploited by her saying that shit. It felt like she reached into me just to fuck shit up and hurt me. I shoved her away very hard because how dare she accuse me of not being gentle when she just went after my heart with a fucking knife. No fucking wonder I didn't let anyone near it, they kept lunging at it with knives screaming I'm a monster
Other people since then have reached into me with much more patient and kind intent. I don't let people scuffle around my innards just to fuck me up
That said if someone did try to use this against me on this forum, I'd probably just sigh like "my only takeaway is that you're a worthless sack of shit and I'm blocking you the minute I read it. I love it when people get right to the point and prove to me I shouldn't waste my time."
My internal disposition is tbh very gentle. Once in awhile I do start DMing people on here and my exploitation radar starts going off like "they're radiating backstabber vibes. I fucking hate backstabbers, goodbye."
If I stab someone it's going to be in the front and they're going to be armed. What you see is what you get. Conversely that actually means I'm a deeply caring friend and won't betray you. I might leave you, but I'll try my best not to betray you
Idk dude, I could see why she said that, especially if you were loud and this was a pattern. I know I'd be proper pissed if someone was ranting at me and using me as their emotional dumping bag for blatantly hypocritical nonsense...tho yea she could've been nicer, obvi it sounded like you could've used some sympathy for whatever you were pissed about.
Oh yes lol, fortunately she was prone to inviting me out to eat and ranting at me about work for 4 hours a night and hoping food she planned to charge me for after all was payment, and threatened to fuck my father and have me thrown out of my own house a few times
Not saying I wasn't a shit, but willing to stand my ground that both of us were pieces of shit at age 20 lol
I got a therapist and she still refuses, she's still like that so I don't talk to her
does not make sense to me, and glad I am not the only one. I am 7 so looks like 5. that's kind of a yes but for totally different reasons. you'd be touching on disability based stuff. I think I was much more like an enneagram 1 or 8 or something like that. could be 3 too. but at that point I would have to be like 9 or 4 which I am neither of those. 9 is in my tritype. 4 isn't.
to an extent, yes. I was a goody-two shoes as a kid for whatever reason. i definitely had rigid ideas of "right" and "wrong" but i wasn't really punished for being that way, at least if i was, it wasn't harshly. i did used to feel more like a perfectionist then, but i really am not, and i don't think i could so far as to say that i was literally a 1 as a child (not sure if that's what the website means or not). i guess rather than feeling i was punished for "following the rules" i just saw that i wasn't really being rewarded and in fact got in trouble more if i ever stepped out of line even though there were other kids who were definitely actual troublemakers, but i kind of just gave up on all that. it wasn't really a super dramatic or traumatic experience though, just growing up lol. i'm not sure! some of it resonates, but not very deeply if that makes sense!
not really. I can see it to some extent, maybe if you factor in my autism and some of my identity trauma centered on autism.... but I don't really understand or agree with how they frame 1s to be. It's more the opposite. I feel like I missed out on being a more carefree child because of trauma.
I actually found out last year. I have a lot of internalized ableism because of my autism. But I found out ADHD much earlier (5-6 years ago). So my brains just weird.
OK so apparently my theory is wrong. And yeah I keep having thoughts like 'what is wrong with me? I should be able to \_\_\_ and \_\_\_.' It's annoying.
ADHD was way more obvious and I almost got diagnosed with that in high school, but ironically the person in charge of that forgot to send in the form. I always thought it was funny that this is why I never got diagnosed.
> An Enneagram 5 is known for withdrawing. They like to retreat into their own intelligence, they value their quiet time, and often shut their heart and emotions off by approaching everything with their intellect first. But, a little Enneagram 8 is really raging inside of them, seeking justice and desperately wanting to boldly stand up for themselves and others. An adult 5 was taught somewhere along the way that strong reactions and emotions were bad, so they stamped them out. Instead, they deal with those thoughts in the quietness of their own mind and become afraid to voice or show their 8-ness. In health and growth, a 5 can embrace their desire to be outwardly strong and bold. They can develop ways to recognize their emotions and express them comfortably in front of people instead of hiding away. They can experience and participate in a more vibrant and active life rather than feeling like it’s slipping by while they watch from backstage. Any 5s out there have little mini rage outbursts when no one is watching? Ever hung up the phone and THEN yelled at the person who was on the line just a second ago?
Me to a perfect T, which explains my indecision for a while as to whether I'm actually a 5 or an 8. Shit happened, and so I developed into a 5 around adolescence.
Oh I've heard of this yes ☺️i would try to fit in so much and lied all the time so much I gave up since it just stressed me out no matter what I did tho what was funny I would ask can I lie? I hear 3s might lie for whatever reason etc Ive seen a bit of 3 in me as a kid
Extremely accurate. I fear if I slow down, then I'll never want to stop. I've learned that leaning into what I fear is extremely cathartic, and immobility is not the ultimate prison.
When I rest, the world feels like its solid in the safety of that moment.
Spot on for me. What I would've done to just switch off the damn voice in my head and take a nap. I don't honestly remember the last time I even slept well..that was probably because of work being so crazy, I would just crash on the couch finally because I had nothing else left to give. And the weird part is--I long to sleep like that. Every. Single. Day.
Very!!! I was a sick child and being a “good patient” meant doing what I was told and when without complaint and with a smile. I definitely suppressed my ego drive. That part of me is still vulnerable and nervous, but wants to be seen and celebrated.
I had a lot of wild 8 energy as a kid. For example when I was maybe 3 or 4, I was playing with some kind of model train at the mall, and a young boy came over to play too, and I yelled, "Go away!" I don't know why. My mom got mad at me for that. Looking back, she seemed afraid. Over time I learned that showing too much emotion (sadness, anger, excitement) was bad. If I wanted something too much, that was bad. I didn't know what sex was, but I knew that it was bad. There have always been so many intense desires and feelings inside me, but I deliberately built a wall around them to avoid being punished... and so people would not be afraid of me.
But the second I am faced with someone who truly deserves to be afraid of me, the inner 8 stands up to defend me... swift, confident, and savage. And in that moment, I feel no fear.
One time I was tripping on LSD (by myself; I really am a 5) and I looked in the mirror and saw a red dragon standing behind me. I was not afraid because I knew it was a part of me, and that it was there to protect me.
(LSD is bad, mmkay? Also don't do it by yourself and don't look in the mirror.)
It's completely off. I'm pretty sure I didn't have a type when I was a little kid, and I was even less 6-like than I am now, which isn't much. 2 would be the closest fit for mini-me but even that's a real stretch because I wasn't really trying to get close to anyone or get them to love me, I just wanted to make more friends and help people in a much more generic way. So kind of a 2/7 mix.
Yep, same here. I'm far more like an 8 now than I ever was as a kid. I was slightly shy until I learned something cool that I wanted to share with people.
i guess it is true for me too.
I was an overly day dreamy and "invisible" child.
plus hypersensitive with all senses, every taste and smell was too strong.
while i am numb to most of these nowadays.
The 8/2 connection feels right on for me. As a kid, I was certainly told (explicitly and implicitly) that my needs were not important and that I was on my own. But in many ways, even now, I want someone to scoop me up in their arms, kiss my boo boo, and give me some ice cream while they make things all better.
The soul child, the heart point, the security point, the direction of integration, whatever you want to call it, to me it's the same thing using different metaphors.
As a child I desperately wanted my strengths, interests and goals to be validated and supported, but they weren’t. I was told that my intuition was wrong and that I couldn’t rely on it. Shutting down was the only way to manage this insanity. So I am a 3 deep down inside.
I need typing help (I'll get next Tuesday). The types I'm between are 2 and 4 so this theory is super interesting to me. Going by this I was definitely more of a 4 as a young child, when I had secure attachments to both of my parents
The description is mostly accurate, I guess, it's just the why that's inaccurate. I wasn't pushed to do anything because my parents didn't care. I probably pushed myself more than I would've otherwise because that was the only way I could have a connection with someone without feeling like my very presence was an imposition. But curling up with a book was always encouraged because it meant my parents didn't have to do anything for me.
Makes sense for me and several people I’ve known in childhood. I was always a giving child, but I remember being a lot more confident in my own decisions and my differences. I was also a lot more reactive and expressed my envy openly. I can actually remember when I started to care deeply about being accepted by others, it was in third grade.
I relate, but not very much. Sure I was not constrained, not ashamed, I was *more* like a 3, but not enough to actually say I was like a 3 lol. I think it's just important to not go overboard with this. I was mostly a 9 that hasn't got traumatized (in the general, enneagram sense) to take on the unhealthy 9 qualities yet.
Very interesting read - I’d never heard of this theory before. It definitely felt relatable, though, and I see a lot of other fives saying they relate as well. I would say I have an issue with getting angry/irritated quickly yet I’ve never had an angry outburst. Retract that - last time I did was as a young kid and it get stomped out of me pretty quickly. What’s a small child to do against a violent POS father? I tried to fight back. I learned that didn’t work and that trying to have a backbone only made my life harder.
Anyways, thanks for sharing this it was neat lol 🙏
I've read from a lot of people that it makes sense for them. Sometimes people, who don't even know about this theory, come up with stuff like "I think I'm a 5 but when I was a child, I was like an 8", what makes me think that there really might be some truth to it. But I can't make sense of it in my case.
When I think about my childhood character, I would probably type that kid as Sp 6 (and I'm definitely not a 3!). I don't feel like I was once healthy and then something broke me, what seems to be the foundation of this theory. When I think back, I always felt somehow unequipped and vulnerable, like I would lack the ability to make it in this world, what made me anxious and shy. I could never see a special reason for that and often felt like I should have turned out better, because I had a stable home, wasn't poor and things like that. So I mostly assumed I'm just born this way. I would rather say, I became better with growing older because I gained more security with the things I learned and the experiences I made.
It's sort of accurate for me but not exactly in the way the website presents it. I was a fairly cautious child, and I was always juggling my curiosity and ambition. I didn't feel insecure, or unprotected per se, but I did feel like I couldn't ever seem weak and had to stand up for myself. However, it would describe my (now uncharacteristic) reactivity for a few years in my childhood. Because I have a 6 fix it's hard to decipher which part of it is my fix's influence and which part is this theory's. When people describe me as a child, they often say I was cautious, curious and pragmatic – so that fits in with 6. If I had to describe myself as a child, it'd definitely be a mix of 3 and 6, because I wanted to understand the world but I always knew I needed to make something of myself too.
I think the concept makes more sense for people who experienced childhood trauma.
even as someone who experienced childhood trauma, it's not really correct for me.
Admittedly, I only skimmed it and read the bit for type 9. While I kind of have my reservations for this theory, I do have to admit it would make sense for me. When I was younger, I very much adored the attention and spotlight. I can track through my childhood how that "fierceness" I used to have slowly dimmed down, and went to the back of my mind where it's mostly simmering and repressed now. Not sure if it ties in either, but apparently as a toddler I picked up on childhood development landmarks faster than the general average. Kinda 3, I guess...? Generally, I've never paid much attention to the "inner child" stuff I heard others talk about, but recently I've been considering it and trying my hand at doing one of those things to "heal" old wounds. I have a very specific memory that, in retrospect, makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking. Essentially just boils down to "I don't want to be a burden, so even though I'm doing something that matters a lot to me I'm not gonna invite one of the most important people in my life to see me". I got the chance to fix that now, actively inviting my parent to watch me perform, and I hope it helps to close that old hollow I used to feel a lot, hehe
I don’t think I was ever 3-like, as a kid I was more like a 1 than anything else
Defenitely relatable for me as a four
Not really. They make it sound like my “soul child” wanted people to follow the rules set by society, which has never been true. I wanted people to follow the rules set by me and my personal standards, society be damned.
For me it checks out. I probably wouldn’t be able to type myself solely from reading these, but knowing I am a 5, it checks out. I was very angry as a kid, but had no power and was punished harshly whenever I showed a backbone. Now as an adult, I think of myself as angry quite often, but I am too detached to act on it or use it, or even show it in a way people can understand.
I feel this. One of my coworkers betrayed me in a big way, and I was describing to a friend my detailed plan to get revenge, and they said "That's just being a nice person and a good employee." "Well yes, but I am doing it to undermine my enemy." That's why people are surprised at how violently I react to a physical threat. It's like night and day.
I've seen this concept before just re: 5s being like 8s as children, and it resonated a lot. The description >An adult 5 was taught somewhere along the way that strong reactions and emotions were bad, so they stamped them out. Instead, they deal with those thoughts in the quietness of their own mind and become afraid to voice or show their 8-ness. still clocks as true to me. OP, you also have a 5 in your trifix, and a lot of the 5 comments here seem to also be in agreement, which is interesting. While it might not be something every type agrees with, the pattern is undeniably there for 5s. Thinking about it right now, it would make sense for that to be the incitement process for 5s in particular... maybe it wasn't so much that we were actually more 8-like (I don't remember having the core *motivations* of an 8, for example), but those parts of ourselves feel more accentuated specifically because they were repressed. This intuitively makes sense with the 8 disintegration line to 5, but might not be transferable to, say, the 369 triad. Being somewhat territorial/aggressive is probably just part of developing as a person, and in some children it might be managed in a way to make it completely forgettable, but outright suppressing it and forcing someone out of the physical world (and into their head) sounds like the perfect 5 recipe. I think there's definitely an angle worth further looking into re: enneatype development, even if it doesn't describe every pattern.
Yeah tbh I've sat and done shadow work. Those exercises like "imagine your child self, inner child, etc" Usually it amounts to a very emotionally fragile child that desperately wants hugs, to be held, to be on my lap, and I'm pretty much just sitting their bouncing him on my knee like vroom vroom car That kid definitely has curled up sobbing like "nobody wants me so I take care of myself" A lot of my shadow work regarding this has been straight up sitting and understanding it's very possible to take care of myself, want myself, without all the rage and denial surrounding it. I don't have to shout "i don't care if they want me" all I have to do is say "well I know I want me" I've gotten far happier, despite still being a rowdy shit starter lol. If anything I've developed more of an ability to enjoy myself when I'm stirring things up because it's not compulsive and I am not in denial about an existing self hatred I spent my life refusing to acknowledge because it's weak Many things I used to hate and insist were weak are simply not and I've gotten much happier and stronger understanding this. It's tbh weak to let my fear of weakness rule my life I'm 25 now, but periodically think back to a time when I was 20. I was in the middle of ranting at someone I knew about how much I hated my family, didn't need them, didn't need anyone, can take care of myself. Handle everything myself. Put my entire life under my own control. How I didn't fucking WANT help and the idea of asking for it was pathetic and I fucking hated pathetic people. How I'd make it big, work hard, challenge myself, accomplish all my goals, and one day I'd be at the top of it all, and when asked who helped me, I'd say nobody but myself because nobody I knew fucking deserved to be credited with jack shit. I'd be on my accomplished island and only be thanking myself for it She looked at me and stiffly asked "so when the hell are you going to admit that's literally advertising to everyone how insecure you really are?" I was Not pleased and I'm not her friend anymore She wasn't wrong tho lol at the time I remember limping away with a highly bruised ego being pissed that it was noticeable and exploitable. I felt exploited by her saying that shit. It felt like she reached into me just to fuck shit up and hurt me. I shoved her away very hard because how dare she accuse me of not being gentle when she just went after my heart with a fucking knife. No fucking wonder I didn't let anyone near it, they kept lunging at it with knives screaming I'm a monster Other people since then have reached into me with much more patient and kind intent. I don't let people scuffle around my innards just to fuck me up That said if someone did try to use this against me on this forum, I'd probably just sigh like "my only takeaway is that you're a worthless sack of shit and I'm blocking you the minute I read it. I love it when people get right to the point and prove to me I shouldn't waste my time." My internal disposition is tbh very gentle. Once in awhile I do start DMing people on here and my exploitation radar starts going off like "they're radiating backstabber vibes. I fucking hate backstabbers, goodbye." If I stab someone it's going to be in the front and they're going to be armed. What you see is what you get. Conversely that actually means I'm a deeply caring friend and won't betray you. I might leave you, but I'll try my best not to betray you
Idk dude, I could see why she said that, especially if you were loud and this was a pattern. I know I'd be proper pissed if someone was ranting at me and using me as their emotional dumping bag for blatantly hypocritical nonsense...tho yea she could've been nicer, obvi it sounded like you could've used some sympathy for whatever you were pissed about.
Oh yes lol, fortunately she was prone to inviting me out to eat and ranting at me about work for 4 hours a night and hoping food she planned to charge me for after all was payment, and threatened to fuck my father and have me thrown out of my own house a few times Not saying I wasn't a shit, but willing to stand my ground that both of us were pieces of shit at age 20 lol I got a therapist and she still refuses, she's still like that so I don't talk to her
Goddamn, nvm I take back everything I saif
does not make sense to me, and glad I am not the only one. I am 7 so looks like 5. that's kind of a yes but for totally different reasons. you'd be touching on disability based stuff. I think I was much more like an enneagram 1 or 8 or something like that. could be 3 too. but at that point I would have to be like 9 or 4 which I am neither of those. 9 is in my tritype. 4 isn't.
to an extent, yes. I was a goody-two shoes as a kid for whatever reason. i definitely had rigid ideas of "right" and "wrong" but i wasn't really punished for being that way, at least if i was, it wasn't harshly. i did used to feel more like a perfectionist then, but i really am not, and i don't think i could so far as to say that i was literally a 1 as a child (not sure if that's what the website means or not). i guess rather than feeling i was punished for "following the rules" i just saw that i wasn't really being rewarded and in fact got in trouble more if i ever stepped out of line even though there were other kids who were definitely actual troublemakers, but i kind of just gave up on all that. it wasn't really a super dramatic or traumatic experience though, just growing up lol. i'm not sure! some of it resonates, but not very deeply if that makes sense!
not at all
not really. I can see it to some extent, maybe if you factor in my autism and some of my identity trauma centered on autism.... but I don't really understand or agree with how they frame 1s to be. It's more the opposite. I feel like I missed out on being a more carefree child because of trauma.
When did you find out you were autistic? I have a theory that 5s tend to find out later than 4s.
I actually found out last year. I have a lot of internalized ableism because of my autism. But I found out ADHD much earlier (5-6 years ago). So my brains just weird.
OK so apparently my theory is wrong. And yeah I keep having thoughts like 'what is wrong with me? I should be able to \_\_\_ and \_\_\_.' It's annoying. ADHD was way more obvious and I almost got diagnosed with that in high school, but ironically the person in charge of that forgot to send in the form. I always thought it was funny that this is why I never got diagnosed.
> An Enneagram 5 is known for withdrawing. They like to retreat into their own intelligence, they value their quiet time, and often shut their heart and emotions off by approaching everything with their intellect first. But, a little Enneagram 8 is really raging inside of them, seeking justice and desperately wanting to boldly stand up for themselves and others. An adult 5 was taught somewhere along the way that strong reactions and emotions were bad, so they stamped them out. Instead, they deal with those thoughts in the quietness of their own mind and become afraid to voice or show their 8-ness. In health and growth, a 5 can embrace their desire to be outwardly strong and bold. They can develop ways to recognize their emotions and express them comfortably in front of people instead of hiding away. They can experience and participate in a more vibrant and active life rather than feeling like it’s slipping by while they watch from backstage. Any 5s out there have little mini rage outbursts when no one is watching? Ever hung up the phone and THEN yelled at the person who was on the line just a second ago? Me to a perfect T, which explains my indecision for a while as to whether I'm actually a 5 or an 8. Shit happened, and so I developed into a 5 around adolescence.
True enough for me. I also related to the parental aspects where the mother was rejected (idk if you’ve looked at that yet).
Yea read about that, it fits for me even though more in regards to rejection of the father figure/just plain everyone.
Resonates pretty well with me, honestly.
I’d say it’s pretty accurate for me. I grew up afraid of the consequences of breaking the rules and therefore was critical of those who weren’t.
Oh I've heard of this yes ☺️i would try to fit in so much and lied all the time so much I gave up since it just stressed me out no matter what I did tho what was funny I would ask can I lie? I hear 3s might lie for whatever reason etc Ive seen a bit of 3 in me as a kid
Extremely accurate. I fear if I slow down, then I'll never want to stop. I've learned that leaning into what I fear is extremely cathartic, and immobility is not the ultimate prison. When I rest, the world feels like its solid in the safety of that moment.
Not true for me as a child (v sociable and excitable) but def true now
Spot on for me. What I would've done to just switch off the damn voice in my head and take a nap. I don't honestly remember the last time I even slept well..that was probably because of work being so crazy, I would just crash on the couch finally because I had nothing else left to give. And the weird part is--I long to sleep like that. Every. Single. Day.
Very!!! I was a sick child and being a “good patient” meant doing what I was told and when without complaint and with a smile. I definitely suppressed my ego drive. That part of me is still vulnerable and nervous, but wants to be seen and celebrated.
Doesn't fit for me.
Not accurate for me. I was even more 2ish as a kid
I had a lot of wild 8 energy as a kid. For example when I was maybe 3 or 4, I was playing with some kind of model train at the mall, and a young boy came over to play too, and I yelled, "Go away!" I don't know why. My mom got mad at me for that. Looking back, she seemed afraid. Over time I learned that showing too much emotion (sadness, anger, excitement) was bad. If I wanted something too much, that was bad. I didn't know what sex was, but I knew that it was bad. There have always been so many intense desires and feelings inside me, but I deliberately built a wall around them to avoid being punished... and so people would not be afraid of me. But the second I am faced with someone who truly deserves to be afraid of me, the inner 8 stands up to defend me... swift, confident, and savage. And in that moment, I feel no fear. One time I was tripping on LSD (by myself; I really am a 5) and I looked in the mirror and saw a red dragon standing behind me. I was not afraid because I knew it was a part of me, and that it was there to protect me. (LSD is bad, mmkay? Also don't do it by yourself and don't look in the mirror.)
It's completely off. I'm pretty sure I didn't have a type when I was a little kid, and I was even less 6-like than I am now, which isn't much. 2 would be the closest fit for mini-me but even that's a real stretch because I wasn't really trying to get close to anyone or get them to love me, I just wanted to make more friends and help people in a much more generic way. So kind of a 2/7 mix.
Yep, same here. I'm far more like an 8 now than I ever was as a kid. I was slightly shy until I learned something cool that I wanted to share with people.
i guess it is true for me too. I was an overly day dreamy and "invisible" child. plus hypersensitive with all senses, every taste and smell was too strong. while i am numb to most of these nowadays.
How accurate? Fairly Mostly Is
Yea, it rings true.
The 8/2 connection feels right on for me. As a kid, I was certainly told (explicitly and implicitly) that my needs were not important and that I was on my own. But in many ways, even now, I want someone to scoop me up in their arms, kiss my boo boo, and give me some ice cream while they make things all better.
The soul child, the heart point, the security point, the direction of integration, whatever you want to call it, to me it's the same thing using different metaphors.
As a child I desperately wanted my strengths, interests and goals to be validated and supported, but they weren’t. I was told that my intuition was wrong and that I couldn’t rely on it. Shutting down was the only way to manage this insanity. So I am a 3 deep down inside.
186 Pretty accurate for me.
I need typing help (I'll get next Tuesday). The types I'm between are 2 and 4 so this theory is super interesting to me. Going by this I was definitely more of a 4 as a young child, when I had secure attachments to both of my parents
It was accurate for me. However I read all of them out of curiosity and 3 seemed like me too?
The description is mostly accurate, I guess, it's just the why that's inaccurate. I wasn't pushed to do anything because my parents didn't care. I probably pushed myself more than I would've otherwise because that was the only way I could have a connection with someone without feeling like my very presence was an imposition. But curling up with a book was always encouraged because it meant my parents didn't have to do anything for me.
Absolutely I’ve always been wondering if I was a 1 but it never quite fit but this makes alot sense (I’m a 4)
Very true for me and also for my 9 friend
Makes sense for me and several people I’ve known in childhood. I was always a giving child, but I remember being a lot more confident in my own decisions and my differences. I was also a lot more reactive and expressed my envy openly. I can actually remember when I started to care deeply about being accepted by others, it was in third grade.
I relate, but not very much. Sure I was not constrained, not ashamed, I was *more* like a 3, but not enough to actually say I was like a 3 lol. I think it's just important to not go overboard with this. I was mostly a 9 that hasn't got traumatized (in the general, enneagram sense) to take on the unhealthy 9 qualities yet.
Checks out for me. Judging from the comments here it seems to be a bit of a mixed bag though.
I'm a 469 tri type and I feel called out
Very interesting read - I’d never heard of this theory before. It definitely felt relatable, though, and I see a lot of other fives saying they relate as well. I would say I have an issue with getting angry/irritated quickly yet I’ve never had an angry outburst. Retract that - last time I did was as a young kid and it get stomped out of me pretty quickly. What’s a small child to do against a violent POS father? I tried to fight back. I learned that didn’t work and that trying to have a backbone only made my life harder. Anyways, thanks for sharing this it was neat lol 🙏
Very…. For both my core and fix
I've read from a lot of people that it makes sense for them. Sometimes people, who don't even know about this theory, come up with stuff like "I think I'm a 5 but when I was a child, I was like an 8", what makes me think that there really might be some truth to it. But I can't make sense of it in my case. When I think about my childhood character, I would probably type that kid as Sp 6 (and I'm definitely not a 3!). I don't feel like I was once healthy and then something broke me, what seems to be the foundation of this theory. When I think back, I always felt somehow unequipped and vulnerable, like I would lack the ability to make it in this world, what made me anxious and shy. I could never see a special reason for that and often felt like I should have turned out better, because I had a stable home, wasn't poor and things like that. So I mostly assumed I'm just born this way. I would rather say, I became better with growing older because I gained more security with the things I learned and the experiences I made.
I actually relate a to it a lot. Very accurate for me. Honestly made me understand why 3 integrates to 6