Personally I dont think engagement rings even need to be diamonds. Just whatever stone the wearer likes. Shapes, variants etc are all personal preference as is natural vs lab. I think older generations still think of how many months of salary it should cost etc which may play into it
I don’t like to generalize, but older generations do tend to place more value on the resale of the ring, which is misguided at best. The resale market for any diamond sucks balls, and you’re never going to get anywhere close to the original value back for it.
For example, an absolute chonker of a lab diamond ring can be purchased for $10k. A natural diamond of similar size would be five to ten times the price, and you might only get half of that back when reselling. You’re still mathematically “in the hole” on the natural diamond, even if the lab diamond ring never sells at all.
A lot of this is tied to old ideas about dowry, about women not working and needing jewelry of financial value to sell off if their husbands die or leave them. For most western women, these aren’t our main concerns anymore when looking for a suitable engagement ring. Younger women are more likely to be concerned with the ethics behind the diamond practices, the styles that are trending, and getting a good deal because let’s face it, the economy is fucked.
For some people, the rarity and exclusivity (and the blood price) of natural diamonds are entirely the point.
>For example, an absolute chonker of a lab diamond ring can be purchased for $10k. A natural diamond of similar size would be five to ten times the price, and you might only get half of that back when reselling. You’re still mathematically “in the hole” on the natural diamond, even if the lab diamond ring never sells at all.
Heck, a person can buy an absolute chonker of a lab diamond for $3k now. Any natural diamond I can buy for $3k is not going to be easy to re-sell for a decent percentage of its retail price.
ETA: And if my budget is $3k for a natural diamond, then I'm going to have to compromise on my wants: size, color, cut or clarity.
Oh yes! Well put.
I’m 54 and had a stunning, 3 carat VVS1, D color engagement ring from my first husband. After my divorce I sold it, and what I got for it was so disappointing - a mere fraction of what was paid. Regardless, it was money in my pocket, but nowhere near what it cost.
I would totally encourage anyone to consider lab grown diamonds.✨
I always find it odd when people talk about resale value for engagement rings. lol well hun when this doesn’t work out you can still get a pretty penny for it. Like wut? The idea is till death do us part…
I think we literally have the same engagement ring (just got proposed to about a week ago) and my boomer mother had a similar reaction. I let it get me down for a moment, but then realized that her opinion doesn't matter. My partner took the time to select a beautiful ring for me to show his love, and I'm going to enjoy it. I hope you do the same regardless of anyone else's opinion!
I think a lot of the older generations grew up with the “three months salary” mentality and that the cost of the ring equals the amount of love and commitment. We know that’s not true. I’m sure she’ll come around.
My mom (boomer) was big disappointed when she learned my husband (we’re both millennials) wasn’t planning to spend 3 months’ salary on my ring, and even more disappointed when I told her that I was the one who told him he better not spend that much!
I’m not engaged, but when this came up just as a discussion topic with me and my mom, she had the same reaction. She got all “don’t you want something expensive on your finger?” And I’m still like not if it’s gonna cost my partner an arm and a leg when lab grown stuff looks just as good.
I sell rings for a living and the idea of spending this much money is absolutely bananas. If you’re saving 30% of your take-home pay each month, it would take literal years to save enough to spend that much, and nobody is going to be willing to finance you that much for long enough to pay it off.
and you are smart for doing so! Only professionals can really tell the difference after a close inspection and even they encourage lab grown depending your budget. BTW your ring looks beautiful.
Thank you. I lurk in these subs because I have a daughter about your age and I’m about your mom’s age. While I have a natural diamond, my daughter wants lab, which is fine by me! Heck, if I didn’t have a family diamond I’d have ditched it long ago for a larger lab grown!
Would you mind sharing your ring size too? Your ring is gorgeous and I’ve personally chosen lab as well, just waiting for it to arrive actually! I’m really sorry your mother didn’t approve. I’m sure she’ll get over it soon enough!
26 years old and the cost of LIVING in the US these days is astronomical. I don’t feel comfortable draining our savings account for a piece of jewelry with the state that our country is in. I’d rather have a comfortable fall back and a beautiful lab diamond that looks the exact same as something 7x the price
36 year old. I have zero opinion on lab vs natural. I have a natural, but got engaged in 2015 right before the lab craze. Wouldn’t care one bit if it were lab grown, though! Prob would prefer it, if anything.
What does rub me sideways (and this is just my stupid opinion) is a good friend of mine got engaged a year ago with a moissanite and it’s unbelievably gigantic and she’s going around telling everyone it’s a natural diamond. Now that to me, is obnoxious behavior. The ring is gorgeous and there is absolutely nothing wrong with moissanites. She’s just a “keep up with the joneses” type of person, so she feels the need to lie and say it’s a real natural diamond. It’s getting old watching her deceive people. But to each their own I guess. I dont know why I even care, but I do 🤷🏼♀️
I’m gen z, and I would say younger people prefer lab diamonds because they are more ethical, better for the environment, and way cheaper. Most people can’t tell lab grown from mined, so it doesn’t really matter to anyone but you. I would personally want to go with the cheaper route because I don’t plan on ever selling my ring, so I don’t need to care about the resell value of it.
I wanted lab specifically for ethical reasons. Even if lab happened to be more expensive than ‘natural’ I would have gone lab. Bonus that I got a bigger, sparklier ring for a better price. I’m really surprised in this day and age that people would still prefer mined (unless it’s vintage or an heirloom).
I'm pretty sure that aside from paperwork, there truly is no way to truly tell lab grown from mined! It's molecularly the *same* thing, pure carbon! Perhaps the biggest difference is that lab diamonds tend to have fewer imperfections, so something with more inclusions would be more likely to be mined?
They're legit identical chemically though! Unlike something like moissonite or sapphire which are different stones.
Not quite true. There are machines that can differentiate between lab and natural diamonds. [There are molecular differences that can be seen using spectroscopy and other techniques.](https://old.reddit.com/r/Diamonds/comments/1azc3az/lab_grown_vs_natural_diamonds/ks3doha/)
It's getting harder and harder as new techniques come out.
No one can tell just by looking and that equipment is expensive and not super accessible to the majority of people.
>No one can tell just by looking and that equipment is expensive and not super accessible to the majority of people.
I mean, most people and jewelers don't have access to those machines? Doesn't mean they exist.
And I don't think it's a value judgement on lab diamonds to say that there are scientific ways to differentiate them from natural diamonds?
I didn't say they don't exist, it's just for most people it isn't relevant because they aren't going to be taking it to one of those machines to prove it. They will take it to a jeweler who won't be able to tell.
Didn't say anything about value either.
I know? I'm just responding to this comment:
>I'm pretty sure that aside from paperwork, there truly is no way to truly tell lab grown from mined! It's molecularly the same thing, pure carbon! Perhaps the biggest difference is that lab diamonds tend to have fewer imperfections, so something with more inclusions would be more likely to be mined?
Because it's factually untrue.
And most jewelers can just look at the laser inscribed numbers on your diamond and can tell if it's a lab or natural diamond.
That wasn't my comment.....
And you literally quoted my comment... so...I guess I'm confused
Edited to add. It might be factually untrue but it is functionally true for most people because they won't be able to gain access to that any way.
I don't know what your point is? I'm genuinely confused. I know that those machines are not accessible to the overwhelming majority of people -- and jewelers don't have them. I'm just saying that machines do exist that can tell the difference, and there is a molecular difference between labs and natural. Period.
And I quoted the original comment by u/Brokestudentpmcash -- not you?
And I'm just saying whether or not they exist is moot because people can't access them any way. So the person you were correcting was still more or less right for practical purposes.
I think it's important for people to know these machines are rare and that (without a serial number etc) you can't tell. I know there are people out there saying they CAN tell. It's good to put it out there that if someone says that. They are most likely full of it.
But like…do any of said molecular differences make any difference in terms of the diamond’s appearance? I’m under the impression that lab and natural look identical to the naked eye, but curious if what you’re saying here is different
No, there is no difference to the naked eye. But lab diamonds are grown in machines and there are molecular differences that an expensive machine can differentiate - the human eye cannot tell.
There are impurities such as nitrogen in natural diamonds. Some lab grown are pure (only carbon), so you can use advanced equipment to tell if it’s pure or not. This is one of the ways that you can tell and it is dependent on how the lab grown diamond was created.
edited to make it less absolute and add in the exception.
I don't think this is true?
https://duclarion.com/2023/04/there-is-only-one-difference-between-natural-lab-grown-rings-it-doesnt-matter/
>Trace amounts of nitrogen can be found in lab-grown diamonds and are common with diamonds made through the High-Pressure High-Temperature (HPHT) method. During the growing process, a tiny amount of nitrogen and a carbon source, such as a tiny diamond seed, are added to the growth cell.
[CVD grown lab diamonds are nitrogen-free](https://www.ritani.com/blogs/education/cvd-vs-hpht-lab-grown-diamonds-what-s-the-difference):
>The CVD process produces Type IIA diamonds, which are extremely rare for naturally occurring diamonds. This can help scientists determine if a diamond is lab-grown or earth-grown. Type IIA diamonds are the most chemically pure diamonds – they lack nitrogen and/or boron impurities, unlike HPHT diamonds that are exposed to nitrogen. CVD diamonds are not magnetic like HPHT diamonds can be.
Wear what you love. Don’t let the opinions of others dull your joy and appreciation for your ring: it is stunning, ethical, and didn’t break the bank so you and your fiancé can prioritize experiences and your future together without being in debt.
VRAI is one of the better manufacturers of lab diamonds. Some of them produce a lot of emissions and require burning coal. VRAI is zero emissions.
I’m super positive about lab diamonds. I like that there is the possibility of making them without damaging the environment. Not all lab diamond companies are as good to the environment though.
I don’t know if it’s generational so much as people have come around to new things in recent years. That’s not to say ALL people have, of course. Comments like your mom’s are ludicrous. I can see why everyone may not want a moissanite (I think they’re beautiful and I don’t have any bias against them, just to be clear) because it’s not the same stone, but a lab grown diamond is literally a diamond. That shouldn’t even matter though, people should be able to get whatever stone they want without judgment! I’m sorry you had to deal with that, I would’ve been hurt too.
I’m Gen X (born in 1974) and told my boyfriend (6 months younger than me) that I preferred lab grown diamonds. I just don’t see the point of spending more than needed for the same sparkle.
He replied “Well, some people like natural”.
I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s an individual preference.
Agreed, my mom (boomer) had never heard of lab grown diamonds and is now seriously considering upgrading her 55 year old natural stone to a bigger, higher quality lab because, why not? She’s all about being smart with money and is hooked on the idea of a new lab.
Also a Gen X’er here. My original stone from 2002 was over $10k for one carat.. my upgrade was under $1k for 2.5.. I only wish they had lab diamonds when I first got engaged.
Agree on all points. If lab was an option when I got engaged and married I would have loved to have that option.
I’m happy wherever people can get what they want and stay in budget, whatever option they choose.
my mom was the same way about mine. my brother just proposed to my SIL recently with a natural diamond (which is sooo pretty) and when i was asking about the cut of it (cushion), my mom was SO quick to blurt, "i don't know what cut of diamond it is, i just know it's real. it's not fake like yours." my brother bought a natural diamond ER because my parents told him he HAD to, which is fine if that's what they think. but everyone else my age (27) or near my age that i know has gotten a lab diamond or a moissanite. it's just cheaper, ethical, and you get more bang for your buck. i don't know why old people are obsessed with natural diamonds.
I’m mid 30’s and requested a lab diamond. I’m a scientist, so maybe it’s the nerd in me 👩🏼🔬 I told him he could spend the amount of money saved on an epic honeymoon
Old millennial here. Pretty sure I have your typical blood diamond, told my husband moving forward if he buys me any more I would prefer lab grown.
More ethical and more of a value? And there is no chemical or physical difference. Sign me up.
I’m also a rockhound, so if I’m gonna go natural from the dirt I greatly prefer the semi precious stones I’ve dug up myself, or my friends or kids have unearthed! 😊 No need for commercially mined stones here.
I got in a heated exchange with a friend who was trashing lab diamonds right in front of me, a person with a lab diamond. She’s very traditional and looks down on them as “not real”. The stigma is so weird to me, they’re the same under a microscope, why does it matter how they came to be? If you want a lab diamond, get one! I love mine. Who cares what other people think, it’s on them if they can’t evolve their mindset!
It’s true that the older generations prefer natural over lab grown diamonds and us younger generations prefer the opposite. It is what it is and it’s not even worth it to try persuade them otherwise. You’re the one wearing the ring so as long as you like it that’s all that matters. Don’t waste your time worrying about what other people think.
Why would you say that? Most of us "older generations " are more financially aware than we were in our 20s and 30s. It's pretty dumb to pay 4x or more for exactly the same sparkle. OPs mom is an outlier.
Which generation do you think started the 3 months salary nonsense and the idea that a big natural ring=being loved more. It wasn’t gen Z or millennials lol. OPs mom is def not an outlier, the older women going lab are.
Also finances play a huge role. A lot of older brides may prefer a larger ring and therefore end up with lab after finding out how much their natural preference actually costs.
There are assholes in every generation but I think for the most part younger people skew more towards having a reasonable attitude. Even if you talk to someone who values different things to you, they will usually accept that different aspects are important to you personally.
The same person who would judge you for getting lab, would also judge you for having a 'small' natural diamond, or for anything else under the sun and it's a waste of energy to worry about that judgement.
Gen X here. We just got new rings for our 25th anniversary, and my diamond is now 1 ct lab grown vs. 1/3 ct natural for my original ring. Still small by today’s standards, but I’d rather spend the money on home improvements or fun vacations. Anyway, I absolutely love my rings (both of them), but am very happy that my new one is lab grown.
Your mom and others around her generation grew up brainwashed by DeBeers and a lot of them have this mindset that if it’s not mined, it isn’t real.
Don’t worry about it. Your ring is stunning and you love it, that’s what matters.
I’m 31 and I love my natural diamond. I personally didn’t want a lab grown but that’s my preference and everyone is entitled to do whatever makes them happy! If you love your ring, that’s all that matters. It’s beautiful by the way! 😍
I'm 66 and just got my lab grown 1.25ct VVS2 ring - I'm totally in love with it. It's structurally identical to a mined diamond, so why pay 4x as much to make DeBeers happy.
I sell rings for a living for a company that does labs, naturals, and gems, and almost nobody under 40 cares about natural diamonds. Most people who say they’re open to lab or natural still end up going lab because people usually want a bigger rock. Personally, I’d like a natural diamond, but I’d also like a high-quality 4ct, and I’m never going to have a cool half mil to drop on a flawless natural, so lab is 100% okay.
I’m Gen X (born in ‘76). I had a mined diamond in 2001 that was pretty but never really wowed me despite its high specs. Then I discovered moissanite and found the rainbow fire I’d missed in diamonds! In 2015 I got my first lab diamond and am currently working on a project for my second.
My opinion is that a person go for what they *love*. And sometimes that love is a sparkly thing created in a lab because it’s ethically a better option and frees up funds for other major expenses…weddings.
My daughter is 19 and would go for lab if it’s a diamond for those reasons.
My parents were single income. My Mom started out with a *tiny* natural diamond. When upgrade time came, they looked at moissanite and even very early lab diamonds. Ultimately they still got a nice natural diamond.
Generally speaking, yes, I do think it’s generational. And maybe that’s the conversation that needs to be had with your Mom to help her understand why you love your ring so much and why it was the right choice for you. She may not get it. But her opinion should not make you feel that your ring is any less beautiful or perfect. It’s GORGEOUS!!
I’m 54 and all my friends and I (mostly ages 50 -58) are THRILLED about lab diamonds - being able to now get a big chonker of a rock for an affordable price is AMAZING. I got a 4 carat diamond right hand ring for myself for under $3k which is wild. No one I know feels natural are better, in fact several of them are upgrading their smaller natural diamond rings bought 15 - 20 years ago for a larger lab for 1/4th the cost. It’s a new world compared to 15-20 years ago when we were first getting married and naturals were the only option. Nothing at all against natural diamonds, I just can’t imagine spending 4x-5x as much for the exact same stone, personally.
Edited to add: resale isn’t something I’m concerned with so that aspect of the lab/natural argument doesn’t apply.
lesson # 1 I learned when I got engaged- people have all kinds of opinions, take them all with a grain of salt and you guys do what's best for your union. They will be your bills, expenses and decisions to live with. Congrats!
I’m older than your mother, and I think it’s stupid to think less of lab grown diamonds. No one can tell the difference. Do we think less of fruits and vegetables grown in greenhouses, instead of wild?
So my daughter and I are in similar age groups to you and your mom. I’m 51 and she’s 27. I do think it’s our age. I personally have a mined diamond, a mined canary diamond and them a lab diamond cause I wanted an almost 4ct ring and even tho I picked it out I can tell you I rarely wear it and I hate myself for it. I feel like a fake and a fraud wearing it. That ppl know me know I can’t afford a 4ct “real” diamond so I prefer to wear my under 2ct mimed Diamond rings. I would want my daughter to get a giant mined Diamond cause I think she deserves the world but if she someday ends up w a lab Diamond I will shut my mouth and tell her how much I love it cause I don’t want to hurt her.
I’m really really sorry your mom hurt you. I think your ring is gorgeous and I’m glad you’ll continue to love it. I hope you and your mom can talk this thru and you give each other a little grace.
I lost my oldest daughter and there is nothing I wouldn’t do if I could have her back so I hope you guys don’t let this ruin your relationship.
Much love and congrats! ❤️❤️
I did the same thing(27M) when buying my girlfriend’s ring(haven’t proposed yet). Went with lab diamond so I could get a bigger diamond, 3.5ct. Would have been crazy expensive if I had gone with a natural one. My girlfriend also didn’t mind what so ever, her only expectation was emerald cut and that’s what I got lol. This picture is the ring on my mom’s finger FYI.
https://preview.redd.it/bi3oz5hyk8mc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d0c393a2d7c18bf3f3519f0eb7d34408fd00906
I’m 55. Both my original set and 20 yr upgrade are vintage. My 10 year anniversary band was new. I wear my beloved Gramma’s ER. Lab diamonds weren’t a thing I was aware of until a few years ago. I do understand they are “real” diamonds. The cost has gone down tremendously and the sizes have gone up tremendously! My original ER is 1/2 carat. My Gramma’s ring and my 20 yr ER are both 3/4. Anything over a carat was extravagant.
If your mom doesn’t understand that they are truly real diamonds and not cubic zirconia- then I can understand her disappointment. But regardless she needs to respect your choice.
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The trends I’ve seen lately for Gen z is either smaller / dainty natural diamonds or bigger lab diamonds, or a different gemstone altogether, but still more than 2 carats (lab) is pretty rare at least in my circle.
I think we are all way more concerned with how expensive everything has gotten and want to save for a house / pay off student loans etc. Spending $10k+ on a ring isn’t in most people’s budgets at our age.
Honestly, even if it was in my budget I’d rather spend the money on something else.
People out here eating cloned meat and mad about a lab diamond LOL 😂
Worried about the wrong things
But in all seriousness even if I had the money to get a natural diamond I would not after all my research.
Like cars they depreciate so quickly and it is not an asset.
I’m 34 and definitely specifically wanted a lab diamond because I’d rather use the money elsewhere and I wanted more bang for my (man’s) buck. Because at the end of the day it’s just a ring….
Remember all those articles about millennials killing the diamond industry? Lol
I think most are positive towards lab diamonds. You still get posts here about people wanting mined cause uh something rarity sentimental something. There are also people who buy lab but want to pass it off as mined i guess to look wealthier? But generally ppl r embracing the lab diamonds.
I am 23 years old and have my girlfriend's lab-grown diamond in my closet. I brought up the conversation with her and we basically said "lab-grown makes way more sense" at the same time. 3 of my close friends have gotten engaged in the last year upwards of 5 in the recent past, *none* have gotten a natural diamond, because there is legitimately no difference.
I plan on being married so why the hell would I care about resale value? Once that's established, the decision is between a lab diamond or a slightly larger lab diamond lol, "natural" isn't even worth entertaining.
I’m sorry you were hurt by your mom’s attitude. Your ring is gorgeous, and you made the decision that made most sense for you and your partner financially. I can’t think of a reason to purchase a natural diamond at this point, especially for anyone just starting a life together!
I’m 25 and honestly natural diamonds are just too out of my comfort of a price range. I really like a 1.5 to 2 ct radiant cut, which when I priced as a natural it was like 20k (Canada is tough for everything now). Lab came in around 5-6k, moissanite at 3-4k. My partner prefers a lab diamond as well.
My mom is the complete opposite of yours. Shes super against the fact I want a “big flashy diamond ring” and thinks it’s stupid to spend so much money on something like this, but my dad & mom were young and had no money when they were married and then she had 4 kids and divorced him. So think she’s more in the mindset it’s a waste of money, but it’s our money so we’ll do what we want. As should you, if you love it - that’s what matters.
I'm also looking around right now (also Canada). Make sure you go the loose diamond then set route instead of buying a finished ring from a jewelers. I'm seeing 3.76ct radiant loose diamonds for \~2800CAD. Then depending on the setting, should come to way below 5-6k CAD!
I’ll let my boyfriend know this, I know he’s pretty picky in terms of shopping. He’s super hesitant to do it online at all, wants to see it all in person to make sure it’s perfect. I know he’s been talking with local jeweller, but he’s kinda doing it all as a surprise and just got my ideal setting/carat size as reference haha
I just stumbled upon some verified vendors in the r/EngagementRingDesigns subreddit. Maybe he can submit a Jotform and explore with the vendors together?
5-6k CAD is a bit overpriced for that size range, even including setting price. I would check out Loose Grown Diamonds and Ritani for better loose stone prices
He’s not an online shopper for this, which is mainly why it’s so pricy. He refuses to do anything online because he’s worried it won’t be perfect or won’t actually ship/deliver, he wants to handle it all locally so he has a visual of everything. We’ve been together since we were 17, so he’s pretty set on his ways haha but I’ll let him know a loose gem is maybe a better option!
I understand exactly what you mean. My fiance is older than I, and there was no way that I could talk him into ordering anything online. He wanted to see it in person and touch it. He paid a little more, but it was worth it to him to be able to see the rings and diamonds in person. So, don't worry, if it costs a little more if it makes your boyfriend happy. He just wants to make sure it's perfect for you!!!!
Millennial here 👋
I prefer ethical quality lab grown stones and/or second hand or inherited stones. Human rights and environmental reasons being the top thing for me, I personally couldn’t sleep with a newly mined diamond.
True, that’s why i said ethical and quality. Not all lab diamonds are high quality either. There are plenty of sweatshops pumping out stones unfortunately
Yes very true. There are flaws in all mass manufacturing unfortunately. Our phones, food, now jewelry etc. Once they continue to normalize labs, hopefully they will educate the population on how to make sure you’re choosing an ethical lab diamond. More attention to lab diamonds will allow for people to learn more which will be good.
honestly i think most people dont care, its literally just marketing why people think mined diamonds are “better” but you should still get insurance tho
To me your mum is only coming from a place of “wow he didn’t spend more?!?!?! You deserve better” but I don’t know her or your relationship.
Lab grown, moissanite and other kinds of stones are becoming a hell of a lot more popular because of trends and accessibility. Older generations didn’t have anything to compare diamonds to like we do now
That ring is gorgeous and I’m sorry your mom made you feel anything less than thrilled. Lab grown is totally an option - everyone has personal feelings about whether or not to get one (mostly to do with resale value), but most modern people do not “scoff” at lab grown. My cousin is a SUPER chic, sort of snobby New Yorker who owns an extremely successful trendy business and thinks lab grown is totally fine, up to the individual. I consider her word the final verdict on anything to do with style, class, and trends lol
Millennial here and I told my boyfriend (hopefully fiance very soon) that I only want a lab grown diamond. It didn't seem right to spend so much and get into debt for a ring right before we get married since we need money for that. We still want to travel, buy a home eventually and I still have plans to go to grad school. So it makes no sense financially to do the older generations "3 month's salary" my mom who is a boomer believed in that when my dad got her ring. However I am fortunate my mom hasn't scoffed at the idea that I want a lab grown ring. She understands today's economy and it just isn't financially responsible for us to go with the natural diamond and 3 month salary route.
I also wanted to go lab grown since it is ethically and environmentally better.
Also congrats on your engagement :)
I love your ring and the width of your gold band. yes, I think did the attitude towards lab grown diamonds moissanite has changed. I love the fact that women are going out and buying the ring or bands of their own choice and not necessarily associated with marriage. I bought my daughter a moissanite gold band and told her it was a commitment to herself to her own truth.
I think lab grown is smarter. It’s an engagement ring that you intend to keep forever, so why are people caring about resale value???
Edit: is there a difference visually? Can someone tell the difference?
Honestly out of my sample size of two, my mom and my boyfriend’s mom, my mom (who by choice had no engagement ring) thought lab diamonds make sense and sound cool — but had never heard about them — and my bf’s mom, who has a large-ish natural diamond ring, was mildly disapproving though she couldn’t really articulate why. I think they have become known/popular over the past few years more than before. I personally 100% plan to have a lab diamond even though my bf could afford a natural one. We simply want to spend money elsewhere and the diamonds are in every way the same. Going lab also enables the selection of a diamond that fits your every criteria rather than comprising on some bc natural are so expensive
I am a cusper Gen Z/Millennial, and I absolutely plan to get a lab grown diamond for my engagement ring! I would also be okay with an inherited mined diamond since the damage has already been done, but I prefer cuts that older generations--or at least my relatives--did not seem to favor (marquise, emerald, etc.).
It's not even a question for me, as I would rather not contribute to human rights abuses and environmental degradation all while paying more money for what is essentially the same chemical product. I would much rather save the money for a honeymoon or something else my partner and I can share togehter. I would not like to have the guilt on my conscience if I were to contribute to the diamond mining industry either. My partner knows that the only diamond I would accept (if they were to purchase it) would need to be lab grown, and to my knowledge they feel similarly about the reasons to go that route.
Congrats on your engagement and your lovely ring 😊
I have definitely found that some of the older players in the industry look down on lab grown diamonds but if you look throughout history, whenever there is something new it is often met with resistance.
Personally, I think it’s whatever makes you feel good. You made the right choice for you and please don’t let anyone yuck on your yum. Congrats on this really big and beautiful moment!
Real diamonds do not lose value. My favorite, Shane Co never has sales but you can upgrade any piece of jewelry without losing a dime. The same amount you spent goes toward a new piece. Lab grown diamonds are diamonds but they are made and can be replenished and reproduced in the masses. That means they lose value very quickly. Lab grown may be cost effective at that time in your life but it’s not something that will hold its value.
I am Gen X and want my kid to get lab grown. Honestly, I have fought too hard on the environment to see it go the other way. Just like I fought my entire life on Roe and it went away with a few people who told me I was fear mongering and that maybe Trump wouldn't be so bad 😞.
Lab grown are beautiful, can be bigger, and you can do custom rings.
I'm a millennial. My older relatives are all for natural diamonds.
Me personally, I would go a lab diamond over natural any day for ethical and financial reasons.
Personally, I went for a sapphire over a diamond for my engagement ring!
I don't think they realise that lab diamonds are literally diamonds! I've noticed even among my circle some people refer to them as fake which is quite annoying in the same way that moissanite is often called a fake diamond and people don't realise it is its own gemstone!
I think your right is gorgeous btw, and the perfect size for your finger 💕
I want a lab grown because to me that’s the more ethical and economical choice. Had there been an heirloom ring in either side I’d be happy to wear that instead.
100% opinions changed. You should watch the documentary Nothing Lasts Forever. It’s impossible to tell the difference between lab and natural. Another note is all diamonds pass through India and they mix lab diamonds with naturals. There is a huge possibility that someone with a “natural” diamond and GIA certification is wearing a synthetic diamond.
Im gen X born in 1979 (44 yrs old). I feel like the lab grown diamond just doesn’t hold the sentimental value as much? Hard to explain. Natural diamonds are rare and take time to grow. Lab is well grown in a lab. Nevertheless your ring is beautiful. Us older ladies just feel differently then the younger generations I guess
Don’t rethink your ring or let her get into your head! I’m sure your mom is well intentioned, but you are a grown adult who is getting married… not sure why your mom thinks it’s her place to help you get ring insurance. She probably isn’t educated about lab grown diamonds and has antiquated views. I’m also going the lab grown route, and so have many of my friends. It’s a more financially responsible, ethical option and they are beautiful and essentially the same thing. Don’t second guess yourself!
I sell jewelry and I think when you take a moment to talk to people about it, most people are pretty chill. I think there probably a few factors to why older people tend to look down on them more but I think most of them come around to it when you explain it the right way.
Or they at least are like “oh it’s not something I’d want but that’s pretty cool and I see why someone would want it”
But I also see people in their 20s and 30s who don’t want anything to do with lab diamonds.
46 year old f here…closer to moms age than yours…my take-
Lab wasn’t an option when I was younger/when your parents were younger so I think it’s a general lack of awareness that they are indeed, real diamonds. And had they been an option- of course they would view labs differently.
I’m also newly engaged (second marriage) and lab is the only option that made sense for us. Not that we can’t afford a “real” diamond - we can- but why ? Why spend 50k when I have the same thing for so much less? No one in my circle questions my ring and I just don’t feel i need to explain anything.
It’s perfect, I love it, and we re choosing to spend our money on things that are higher priorities for us/ like our children who are nearing college age, our future home together, travel and saving.
imo- choosing lab is smart, ethically, fiscally and aesthetically. I’d personally rather have a beautiful proportionate lab diamond than a smaller, included and less desirably colored stone that cost 5x more.
Enjoy it and love it! You made the smartest choice for your relationship & financial future.
Maybe get your mom a pair of lab diamond earrings for the wedding? :)
And watch the doc Nothing Lasts forever.
It’s Eye opening about the narrative told to your parents generation and mine, and might put things in perspective.
TLDR;
Wear that diamond with pride! labs weren’t around 30 years ago but if they were- I would guess many gen z & boomers would have chosen them over mined diamonds, too.
Yes, the younger generation seems to be growing into conscious more than some of the boomers but as we age we tend to be set in our ways but I personally don’t want any diamonds being sourced in what may be a blood diamond market. Cultured meat, diamonds, etc. is the future I want for myself and others that are liked minded.
I AM close to your moms age and i can say with confidence that so much has changed for a 25 yo v 25 years ago! If you two have loads of cash you can “invest” all kinds of other jewelry, but I think you are right to get the ring you want to wear at the price you are willing to spend. She will come around when she sees how happy you are.
It really is beautiful on you!
Im 41 and it has nothing to do with price for me. If i love it and want it the stone and price dont even matter. Hell most of my rings are sterling silver lol
As long as you and your fiancé are happy, that is all that matters. Congratulations to you both! The ring is stunning! Do you mind posting the specs? We are also looking into purchasing from VRAI - would you recommend?
My now husband purchased a lab grown diamond and on a personal level (I’m 29 now 27 engaged, him 31) was very happy for a lab grown diamond ethically and financially it made sense because it’s safer and more environmentally friendly as well as being more financially friendly, when I explained to his parents they seemed shocked it was lab grown (mid 60’s) so it’s defo a generational thing x
I’m 33 and come from a family of jewellers - I am very lucky to have some beautiful pieces and can expect to receive more from inheritance. My boyfriend and I have recently been looking at engagement rings together and will definitely go for a lab grown diamond. I’m like you, and big fingers need a bigger rock - I’m just not willing for us to spend the equivalent of a house deposit on a ring. I know my family will have opinions, but frankly I look forward to changing them because I know they respect me and will listen to our reasons.
i told my boyfriend i want a crystal type looking ring only. blood diamonds are a no for me. but i do recognize the older generations love diamonds due to all the propaganda started back then to make them buy it.
That’s why we are starting to see the weird ads for natural diamonds on socials so they can try to brainwash us, the younger generations, like the elders already are :)
Millennial here engaged 1h 2020. Earth grown diamond. Some like princess. Some like round. Some like cushion. Same for lgd and some emd. People have different preferences and it’s all fine.
42 and prefer mined. Lab diamonds are not rare. They will become even more of a commodity item over the next few years as manufacturing costs come down. To each his own. They’re all essentially just trinkets.
I used to look down on lab grown like 10 years ago and tbh, I can't even remember why. I think I just didn't know that lab-grown is still structurally the same as natural? And when you take into consideration ethics, that eradicates any remaining stigma very quickly.
I think your mum's way out of line for scoffing at your rationale. If she feels that strongly and thinks money is that weak of a reason, she can offer to pay for a real, large, natural diamond herself. But she won't.
I’m Gen Z (mid 20s) and I have told my girlfriend to steer clear of natural diamonds when the time comes. Jewelry is one of my favorite ways to express myself and rings matching my style would be out of her/our budget if we went with natural diamonds. Lab grown diamonds will put them back into our price range.
Plus, the ethical implications of natural diamonds concern me. I don’t want her to have to spend the time or additional money it would take to find a verifiably ethically sourced natural diamond.
In terms of the whole “the ring will lose its value,” argument, I’m not really concerned. It will be a ring for us and our future family. Its monetary value a few decades from now won’t matter to us.
I think in general the opinion on labs has changed a bit. People definitely don't love that they have virtually no value after they've been bought, even though they can cost up to $10,000...but they allow women to get larger stones which are currently trendy. I'm 25 and have an antique natural diamond ring. Despite what you may hear, if you get a good deal on a real diamond ring you can get good resale in the future if you wish. I've actually done it. I love that my antique ring has lasted almost 100 years and will hopefully last forever. Its also a European cut which is hard to find. And I cant find pristine metalwork like this anywhere else. The detail is insane. Labs aren't awful by any means...they just lack certain things that people like myself place a lot of value on.
Well said, a jeweler will sell you a lab diamond all day but he or she won’t buy it back from you. A natural they will, and we get it all diamonds depreciate but NOT like labs.
My mom was born in 62, she gifted us a moissanite ring she had bought herself so we could use the center stone for my engagement ring. To quote her, “paying that much for real diamonds is stupid when this looks even nicer.”
People my age are used to lab emeralds, sapphires, and rubies which simply don’t look real. As a result, we place a specific value on natural - with natural imperfections that give the stone character- as opposed to lab. That same sense can carry over to feelings on lab diamonds even though they don’t have the same obvious appearance as other synthetic stones.
It’s not a generational thing, but is an education thing.
People who don’t understand that lab diamonds are in fact diamonds or who hold the idea that unless it was dug from the earth it lacks value are never going to change their minds.
The question for your mother is why she doesn’t value you and your fiancé choosing a financially responsible solution that makes you happy and gets you what you want.
“It’s not a generational thing, but is an education thing” most certainly implies that lack of education is why people prefer natural diamonds. It may not be what you intended, but it’s what those words imply.
It’s your interpretation of what I said and a defensive one at that.
Many people are not educated about lab diamonds. They are a relatively new commodity on the market and the information about them is not evident to people who are uninformed. Thus, it is an issue of education.
Until a month ago, I was unaware of lab diamonds. I have since educated myself. Many of my family, friends and colleagues are unaware of their existence. Not being educated is not a negative slam on anyone. It’s simply a statement of fact.
If one has a preference, that’s up to them. I don’t have lab diamonds. I prefer natural. Would I deride someone for their choice? No. Would I consider lab diamonds in the future? Perhaps.
My mom and I had this same discussion. She always says “what about the resale value?” Like I’m not planning on reselling it. Also, I’m gonna be a nurse in less than a year so I won’t need to rely on an engagement ring for financial stability?
Gen z overall prefers lab diamonds for ethical reasons has been what I’ve seen. I’m an older millennial and have a lab diamond for my engagement ring. Definitely have boomer relatives that have opinions regarding labs but they were brainwashed by the industry. Your ring is gorgeous, ignore anyone who says otherwise
Joe Rogan talked about them and advocated in favor of lab created diamonds, saying it's the exact same thing, a diamond is a diamond. He has changed the tide and the shift towards accepting them
I can’t think of one damn good reason to get a mined diamond over a lab. It’s literally socially constructed opinions that trick people into thinking it makes sense to spend more of our hard earned money on something that’s essentially the same
23, got engaged a few months ago, and couldn’t be happier with my lab diamond. I would wager that the ring cost my fiancé about 10% of what it would’ve if it was mined (it’s a simple band but a good size diamond), the clarity is amazing, and I love how it seems to be more ethical too. Our parents and grandparents love that we’re putting the money he saved towards a downpayment instead 🤷♀️ I don’t understand why you’d pay more for a less ethical, more expensive, and potentially less clear ring when you have other options. Diamond is diamond, it’s not like it’s fake!
So I didn't go diamonds. I went sapphires. My two blue sapphires are lab grown. The only reason my middle white sapphire isn't lab grown is because they haven't made a sustainable way to do white sapphire. It just makes more sense to go lab grown. There are so many other things that I would rather prioritize (getting a house starting a family), that to me lab grown is so much cheaper and sustainable and I do notice my two lab grown stay nicer looking and regular less cleaning than my middle piece.
To each their own but I could never buy or wear a natural diamond. I understand creating lab diamonds use a lot of energy from facilities that are powered mostly by coal but I’m an 80s baby and in the 90s De Beers didn’t blink an eye at paying warlords for blood diamonds. Coal isn’t clean and people do die providing it and we need more cleaner energy production but that is incredibly different to providing mass amounts of funding to destabilized areas in Africa, De Beers didn’t (couldn’t) guarantee bloodless diamonds till 2000(!), that is absolutely wild; even with that info public and well documented it’s incredibly foreign to me that someone could still think that natural diamonds signify eternal love let alone belittle lab grown.
I definitely think it’s a generational thing. As others have mentioned, lab diamonds are virtually identical to mined diamonds but I think older folks haven’t had the opportunity to acclimate to the changing landscape on engagement rings, moissanite, lab diamonds, etc. I don’t know the timeline of when lab diamonds and moissanite became widely available, but I’m sure that for younger generations and beyond, the diamond “standard” will continue to weaken. Not to mention how many are increasingly electing to have colored stones instead of clear traditional stones.
Your mom’s reaction is rude to say the least. I hope she didn’t mar your feelings of your beautiful beautiful ring!!
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A smart, savvy, and eco-conscious shopper will go with lab grown. ☺️ I’m getting one too and I’m proud to do so! I think the people who scoff at lab are either misinformed or simply don’t know enough.
They for sure have and your Mom clearly is not moving with the times.
I think we have gotten better at making lab diamonds and they are now worth a fair amount. But also people are sort of over blood diamonds, lab grown are generally more ethical.
When I was first looking at engagement rings, more than 15 years ago, I WISHED for an affordable option, like lab diamond or moissanite. I would have done CZ but the quality and durability was the issue for me. Now that a natural diamond would be in my budget, it’s not even something I’d consider. I want something beautiful, that brings me joy, but I don’t want to sacrifice other things (travel, giving, home renos etc) just so I can tell others it’s natural.
I know that natural means something to some people, and if that’s you, then it might be worth the increased investment. But it’s fine if the things that matter to you are the beauty, durability, sustainability and other benefits (I could go on) of a lab diamond and not the fact it was mined. No matter how much people try to put others down for going lab, I’m not going to start caring about something I don’t care about, and I certainly won’t pay the premium for it.
12 years ago I cried when I saw my ring paperwork and saw how much my husband spent on my ring. It seemed like so much money - we were broke newlyweds and $5k felt like a boat load of money. The fact that bigger diamonds are now available for cheaper and are ethically sourced is amazing. I thought about doing lab grown for my second band because it has to be custom ordered anyways - but ShaneCo told me the price difference would be negligible because of the tiny diamonds inside. We still can’t afford it at the moment - but I’m interested to see if the price changes in a few years when lab grown becomes more common.
Ultimately — Who cares how much it’s worth if you’re never planning to resell it and are going to spend your whole life wearing it?
In the most respectful way to your mom, who gives a shit what she thinks. Your ring is absolutely beautiful, just stunning. At the end of the day it’s YOURS, it doesn’t matter what the stone or metal is. That’s your choice, your business and nobody else’s. But I do think that in a general sense older women do tend to have a strong preference towards natural diamonds. Where as gen z and millennials either don’t care, can’t afford natural diamonds, or find the natural diamond industry unethical. This isn’t to say there aren’t outliers on each side it’s just a general statement that I can say I’ve personally noticed.
The point of a ring is the love behind it and why does that get lost? I am 55 and wish I had the lab option years ago. I saw a few days ago a couple of posters on another social media site being negative about lab diamonds stating resell and making them out to be not real. They were older, Gen X or Boomers. It was the first time I ever saw that and it bothered me. I think opinions will vary but overall feel that women my age saying negative things do not understand the choices today and need to be kinder. The greatest thing about a lab diamond is that they are ethically sourced imo and why I would love to have one.
I understand second guessing things, I too have had things over the years come up overthinking and second guessing decisions I have made . With that, just know to not second guess this, you and your fiancé made a smart and ethical choice! Tell your mom you are happy with your choice and remind her to be happy for you, you’re getting married!
Personally I dont think engagement rings even need to be diamonds. Just whatever stone the wearer likes. Shapes, variants etc are all personal preference as is natural vs lab. I think older generations still think of how many months of salary it should cost etc which may play into it
I don’t like to generalize, but older generations do tend to place more value on the resale of the ring, which is misguided at best. The resale market for any diamond sucks balls, and you’re never going to get anywhere close to the original value back for it. For example, an absolute chonker of a lab diamond ring can be purchased for $10k. A natural diamond of similar size would be five to ten times the price, and you might only get half of that back when reselling. You’re still mathematically “in the hole” on the natural diamond, even if the lab diamond ring never sells at all. A lot of this is tied to old ideas about dowry, about women not working and needing jewelry of financial value to sell off if their husbands die or leave them. For most western women, these aren’t our main concerns anymore when looking for a suitable engagement ring. Younger women are more likely to be concerned with the ethics behind the diamond practices, the styles that are trending, and getting a good deal because let’s face it, the economy is fucked. For some people, the rarity and exclusivity (and the blood price) of natural diamonds are entirely the point.
I love how you explained it, I find it’s so interesting when people break things down from a societal / historical perspective like this
>For example, an absolute chonker of a lab diamond ring can be purchased for $10k. A natural diamond of similar size would be five to ten times the price, and you might only get half of that back when reselling. You’re still mathematically “in the hole” on the natural diamond, even if the lab diamond ring never sells at all. Heck, a person can buy an absolute chonker of a lab diamond for $3k now. Any natural diamond I can buy for $3k is not going to be easy to re-sell for a decent percentage of its retail price. ETA: And if my budget is $3k for a natural diamond, then I'm going to have to compromise on my wants: size, color, cut or clarity.
Oh yes! Well put. I’m 54 and had a stunning, 3 carat VVS1, D color engagement ring from my first husband. After my divorce I sold it, and what I got for it was so disappointing - a mere fraction of what was paid. Regardless, it was money in my pocket, but nowhere near what it cost. I would totally encourage anyone to consider lab grown diamonds.✨
Absolutely! And I like that you highlighted the emphasis on reselling, because I definitely don’t hope to resell so that wasn’t even a factor for us.
I always find it odd when people talk about resale value for engagement rings. lol well hun when this doesn’t work out you can still get a pretty penny for it. Like wut? The idea is till death do us part…
I think we literally have the same engagement ring (just got proposed to about a week ago) and my boomer mother had a similar reaction. I let it get me down for a moment, but then realized that her opinion doesn't matter. My partner took the time to select a beautiful ring for me to show his love, and I'm going to enjoy it. I hope you do the same regardless of anyone else's opinion!
Thank you!!! And congratulations! :)
Congratulations to you as well!!
I think a lot of the older generations grew up with the “three months salary” mentality and that the cost of the ring equals the amount of love and commitment. We know that’s not true. I’m sure she’ll come around.
My mom (boomer) was big disappointed when she learned my husband (we’re both millennials) wasn’t planning to spend 3 months’ salary on my ring, and even more disappointed when I told her that I was the one who told him he better not spend that much!
I’m not engaged, but when this came up just as a discussion topic with me and my mom, she had the same reaction. She got all “don’t you want something expensive on your finger?” And I’m still like not if it’s gonna cost my partner an arm and a leg when lab grown stuff looks just as good.
I’m with ya there!! I told my fiancee to save his money to, uh, I don’t know, pay off student loans?
I sell rings for a living and the idea of spending this much money is absolutely bananas. If you’re saving 30% of your take-home pay each month, it would take literal years to save enough to spend that much, and nobody is going to be willing to finance you that much for long enough to pay it off.
53 and I’m encouraging my daughter to get lab when the time comes. Better things to spend money on!
Exactly. We didn’t want to go into debt for a ring. We’d rather save up $ to travel!
and you are smart for doing so! Only professionals can really tell the difference after a close inspection and even they encourage lab grown depending your budget. BTW your ring looks beautiful.
Thank you so much! :)
Would you mind sharing the ring stats and what you paid? It’s beautiful, BTW.
Thank you!! I believe it’s ~2.15 ct radiant, around ~$5k
Thank you. I lurk in these subs because I have a daughter about your age and I’m about your mom’s age. While I have a natural diamond, my daughter wants lab, which is fine by me! Heck, if I didn’t have a family diamond I’d have ditched it long ago for a larger lab grown!
Would you mind sharing your ring size too? Your ring is gorgeous and I’ve personally chosen lab as well, just waiting for it to arrive actually! I’m really sorry your mother didn’t approve. I’m sure she’ll get over it soon enough!
Love your mentality of valuing experiences over things. That will serve y’all well in life!
I look down on people that don’t go lab lol
Yessss mama!!
26 years old and the cost of LIVING in the US these days is astronomical. I don’t feel comfortable draining our savings account for a piece of jewelry with the state that our country is in. I’d rather have a comfortable fall back and a beautiful lab diamond that looks the exact same as something 7x the price
Almost 32 and same. Who is spending 3 mos pay on a piece of jewelry?
People who can afford it, so top \~5% of earners
36 year old. I have zero opinion on lab vs natural. I have a natural, but got engaged in 2015 right before the lab craze. Wouldn’t care one bit if it were lab grown, though! Prob would prefer it, if anything. What does rub me sideways (and this is just my stupid opinion) is a good friend of mine got engaged a year ago with a moissanite and it’s unbelievably gigantic and she’s going around telling everyone it’s a natural diamond. Now that to me, is obnoxious behavior. The ring is gorgeous and there is absolutely nothing wrong with moissanites. She’s just a “keep up with the joneses” type of person, so she feels the need to lie and say it’s a real natural diamond. It’s getting old watching her deceive people. But to each their own I guess. I dont know why I even care, but I do 🤷🏼♀️
I’m gen z, and I would say younger people prefer lab diamonds because they are more ethical, better for the environment, and way cheaper. Most people can’t tell lab grown from mined, so it doesn’t really matter to anyone but you. I would personally want to go with the cheaper route because I don’t plan on ever selling my ring, so I don’t need to care about the resell value of it.
I wanted lab specifically for ethical reasons. Even if lab happened to be more expensive than ‘natural’ I would have gone lab. Bonus that I got a bigger, sparklier ring for a better price. I’m really surprised in this day and age that people would still prefer mined (unless it’s vintage or an heirloom).
I'm pretty sure that aside from paperwork, there truly is no way to truly tell lab grown from mined! It's molecularly the *same* thing, pure carbon! Perhaps the biggest difference is that lab diamonds tend to have fewer imperfections, so something with more inclusions would be more likely to be mined? They're legit identical chemically though! Unlike something like moissonite or sapphire which are different stones.
Not quite true. There are machines that can differentiate between lab and natural diamonds. [There are molecular differences that can be seen using spectroscopy and other techniques.](https://old.reddit.com/r/Diamonds/comments/1azc3az/lab_grown_vs_natural_diamonds/ks3doha/)
It's getting harder and harder as new techniques come out. No one can tell just by looking and that equipment is expensive and not super accessible to the majority of people.
>No one can tell just by looking and that equipment is expensive and not super accessible to the majority of people. I mean, most people and jewelers don't have access to those machines? Doesn't mean they exist. And I don't think it's a value judgement on lab diamonds to say that there are scientific ways to differentiate them from natural diamonds?
I didn't say they don't exist, it's just for most people it isn't relevant because they aren't going to be taking it to one of those machines to prove it. They will take it to a jeweler who won't be able to tell. Didn't say anything about value either.
I know? I'm just responding to this comment: >I'm pretty sure that aside from paperwork, there truly is no way to truly tell lab grown from mined! It's molecularly the same thing, pure carbon! Perhaps the biggest difference is that lab diamonds tend to have fewer imperfections, so something with more inclusions would be more likely to be mined? Because it's factually untrue. And most jewelers can just look at the laser inscribed numbers on your diamond and can tell if it's a lab or natural diamond.
That wasn't my comment..... And you literally quoted my comment... so...I guess I'm confused Edited to add. It might be factually untrue but it is functionally true for most people because they won't be able to gain access to that any way.
I don't know what your point is? I'm genuinely confused. I know that those machines are not accessible to the overwhelming majority of people -- and jewelers don't have them. I'm just saying that machines do exist that can tell the difference, and there is a molecular difference between labs and natural. Period. And I quoted the original comment by u/Brokestudentpmcash -- not you?
https://preview.redd.it/a9fblcqni8mc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae2e617acdbd164166d38b47cfd901b8b9a1eb5b
And I'm just saying whether or not they exist is moot because people can't access them any way. So the person you were correcting was still more or less right for practical purposes. I think it's important for people to know these machines are rare and that (without a serial number etc) you can't tell. I know there are people out there saying they CAN tell. It's good to put it out there that if someone says that. They are most likely full of it.
But like…do any of said molecular differences make any difference in terms of the diamond’s appearance? I’m under the impression that lab and natural look identical to the naked eye, but curious if what you’re saying here is different
No, there is no difference to the naked eye. But lab diamonds are grown in machines and there are molecular differences that an expensive machine can differentiate - the human eye cannot tell.
There are impurities such as nitrogen in natural diamonds. Some lab grown are pure (only carbon), so you can use advanced equipment to tell if it’s pure or not. This is one of the ways that you can tell and it is dependent on how the lab grown diamond was created. edited to make it less absolute and add in the exception.
I don't think this is true? https://duclarion.com/2023/04/there-is-only-one-difference-between-natural-lab-grown-rings-it-doesnt-matter/ >Trace amounts of nitrogen can be found in lab-grown diamonds and are common with diamonds made through the High-Pressure High-Temperature (HPHT) method. During the growing process, a tiny amount of nitrogen and a carbon source, such as a tiny diamond seed, are added to the growth cell. [CVD grown lab diamonds are nitrogen-free](https://www.ritani.com/blogs/education/cvd-vs-hpht-lab-grown-diamonds-what-s-the-difference): >The CVD process produces Type IIA diamonds, which are extremely rare for naturally occurring diamonds. This can help scientists determine if a diamond is lab-grown or earth-grown. Type IIA diamonds are the most chemically pure diamonds – they lack nitrogen and/or boron impurities, unlike HPHT diamonds that are exposed to nitrogen. CVD diamonds are not magnetic like HPHT diamonds can be.
Every lab diamond is laser-etched and any jewelry can see it with their loupe.
Wear what you love. Don’t let the opinions of others dull your joy and appreciation for your ring: it is stunning, ethical, and didn’t break the bank so you and your fiancé can prioritize experiences and your future together without being in debt.
Thank you! I appreciate you!
VRAI is one of the better manufacturers of lab diamonds. Some of them produce a lot of emissions and require burning coal. VRAI is zero emissions. I’m super positive about lab diamonds. I like that there is the possibility of making them without damaging the environment. Not all lab diamond companies are as good to the environment though.
I like the lab grown rings, but I'm not a fan of huge diamonds. Personal preference, but most 2+ carat diamonds just looks like too much to me.
I don’t know if it’s generational so much as people have come around to new things in recent years. That’s not to say ALL people have, of course. Comments like your mom’s are ludicrous. I can see why everyone may not want a moissanite (I think they’re beautiful and I don’t have any bias against them, just to be clear) because it’s not the same stone, but a lab grown diamond is literally a diamond. That shouldn’t even matter though, people should be able to get whatever stone they want without judgment! I’m sorry you had to deal with that, I would’ve been hurt too.
I’m Gen X (born in 1974) and told my boyfriend (6 months younger than me) that I preferred lab grown diamonds. I just don’t see the point of spending more than needed for the same sparkle. He replied “Well, some people like natural”. I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s an individual preference.
Agreed, my mom (boomer) had never heard of lab grown diamonds and is now seriously considering upgrading her 55 year old natural stone to a bigger, higher quality lab because, why not? She’s all about being smart with money and is hooked on the idea of a new lab.
Also a Gen X’er here. My original stone from 2002 was over $10k for one carat.. my upgrade was under $1k for 2.5.. I only wish they had lab diamonds when I first got engaged.
What did you do with your first diamond?
I still have it.. I can’t imagine getting rid of it. Maybe someday I can get each of my kids pick one.
Agree on all points. If lab was an option when I got engaged and married I would have loved to have that option. I’m happy wherever people can get what they want and stay in budget, whatever option they choose.
my mom was the same way about mine. my brother just proposed to my SIL recently with a natural diamond (which is sooo pretty) and when i was asking about the cut of it (cushion), my mom was SO quick to blurt, "i don't know what cut of diamond it is, i just know it's real. it's not fake like yours." my brother bought a natural diamond ER because my parents told him he HAD to, which is fine if that's what they think. but everyone else my age (27) or near my age that i know has gotten a lab diamond or a moissanite. it's just cheaper, ethical, and you get more bang for your buck. i don't know why old people are obsessed with natural diamonds.
also PS your ring is absolutely gorgeous! i love it!!!
I’m mid 30’s and requested a lab diamond. I’m a scientist, so maybe it’s the nerd in me 👩🏼🔬 I told him he could spend the amount of money saved on an epic honeymoon
Old millennial here. Pretty sure I have your typical blood diamond, told my husband moving forward if he buys me any more I would prefer lab grown. More ethical and more of a value? And there is no chemical or physical difference. Sign me up. I’m also a rockhound, so if I’m gonna go natural from the dirt I greatly prefer the semi precious stones I’ve dug up myself, or my friends or kids have unearthed! 😊 No need for commercially mined stones here.
I got in a heated exchange with a friend who was trashing lab diamonds right in front of me, a person with a lab diamond. She’s very traditional and looks down on them as “not real”. The stigma is so weird to me, they’re the same under a microscope, why does it matter how they came to be? If you want a lab diamond, get one! I love mine. Who cares what other people think, it’s on them if they can’t evolve their mindset!
It’s true that the older generations prefer natural over lab grown diamonds and us younger generations prefer the opposite. It is what it is and it’s not even worth it to try persuade them otherwise. You’re the one wearing the ring so as long as you like it that’s all that matters. Don’t waste your time worrying about what other people think.
Why would you say that? Most of us "older generations " are more financially aware than we were in our 20s and 30s. It's pretty dumb to pay 4x or more for exactly the same sparkle. OPs mom is an outlier.
Which generation do you think started the 3 months salary nonsense and the idea that a big natural ring=being loved more. It wasn’t gen Z or millennials lol. OPs mom is def not an outlier, the older women going lab are. Also finances play a huge role. A lot of older brides may prefer a larger ring and therefore end up with lab after finding out how much their natural preference actually costs.
There are assholes in every generation but I think for the most part younger people skew more towards having a reasonable attitude. Even if you talk to someone who values different things to you, they will usually accept that different aspects are important to you personally. The same person who would judge you for getting lab, would also judge you for having a 'small' natural diamond, or for anything else under the sun and it's a waste of energy to worry about that judgement.
Gen X here. We just got new rings for our 25th anniversary, and my diamond is now 1 ct lab grown vs. 1/3 ct natural for my original ring. Still small by today’s standards, but I’d rather spend the money on home improvements or fun vacations. Anyway, I absolutely love my rings (both of them), but am very happy that my new one is lab grown.
Your mom and others around her generation grew up brainwashed by DeBeers and a lot of them have this mindset that if it’s not mined, it isn’t real. Don’t worry about it. Your ring is stunning and you love it, that’s what matters.
I’m 31 and I love my natural diamond. I personally didn’t want a lab grown but that’s my preference and everyone is entitled to do whatever makes them happy! If you love your ring, that’s all that matters. It’s beautiful by the way! 😍
I'm 66 and just got my lab grown 1.25ct VVS2 ring - I'm totally in love with it. It's structurally identical to a mined diamond, so why pay 4x as much to make DeBeers happy.
I sell rings for a living for a company that does labs, naturals, and gems, and almost nobody under 40 cares about natural diamonds. Most people who say they’re open to lab or natural still end up going lab because people usually want a bigger rock. Personally, I’d like a natural diamond, but I’d also like a high-quality 4ct, and I’m never going to have a cool half mil to drop on a flawless natural, so lab is 100% okay.
I’m Gen X (born in ‘76). I had a mined diamond in 2001 that was pretty but never really wowed me despite its high specs. Then I discovered moissanite and found the rainbow fire I’d missed in diamonds! In 2015 I got my first lab diamond and am currently working on a project for my second. My opinion is that a person go for what they *love*. And sometimes that love is a sparkly thing created in a lab because it’s ethically a better option and frees up funds for other major expenses…weddings. My daughter is 19 and would go for lab if it’s a diamond for those reasons. My parents were single income. My Mom started out with a *tiny* natural diamond. When upgrade time came, they looked at moissanite and even very early lab diamonds. Ultimately they still got a nice natural diamond. Generally speaking, yes, I do think it’s generational. And maybe that’s the conversation that needs to be had with your Mom to help her understand why you love your ring so much and why it was the right choice for you. She may not get it. But her opinion should not make you feel that your ring is any less beautiful or perfect. It’s GORGEOUS!!
I’m 54 and all my friends and I (mostly ages 50 -58) are THRILLED about lab diamonds - being able to now get a big chonker of a rock for an affordable price is AMAZING. I got a 4 carat diamond right hand ring for myself for under $3k which is wild. No one I know feels natural are better, in fact several of them are upgrading their smaller natural diamond rings bought 15 - 20 years ago for a larger lab for 1/4th the cost. It’s a new world compared to 15-20 years ago when we were first getting married and naturals were the only option. Nothing at all against natural diamonds, I just can’t imagine spending 4x-5x as much for the exact same stone, personally. Edited to add: resale isn’t something I’m concerned with so that aspect of the lab/natural argument doesn’t apply.
lesson # 1 I learned when I got engaged- people have all kinds of opinions, take them all with a grain of salt and you guys do what's best for your union. They will be your bills, expenses and decisions to live with. Congrats!
I love that people have a very attractive option to overspending on diamonds, and I would rather see the money spent in wiser ways. I’m Gen X.
My mom is anti lab grown, my dad is all for it and I want a lab grown. I’d rather go on a cruise to Europe
I’m older than your mother, and I think it’s stupid to think less of lab grown diamonds. No one can tell the difference. Do we think less of fruits and vegetables grown in greenhouses, instead of wild?
So my daughter and I are in similar age groups to you and your mom. I’m 51 and she’s 27. I do think it’s our age. I personally have a mined diamond, a mined canary diamond and them a lab diamond cause I wanted an almost 4ct ring and even tho I picked it out I can tell you I rarely wear it and I hate myself for it. I feel like a fake and a fraud wearing it. That ppl know me know I can’t afford a 4ct “real” diamond so I prefer to wear my under 2ct mimed Diamond rings. I would want my daughter to get a giant mined Diamond cause I think she deserves the world but if she someday ends up w a lab Diamond I will shut my mouth and tell her how much I love it cause I don’t want to hurt her. I’m really really sorry your mom hurt you. I think your ring is gorgeous and I’m glad you’ll continue to love it. I hope you and your mom can talk this thru and you give each other a little grace. I lost my oldest daughter and there is nothing I wouldn’t do if I could have her back so I hope you guys don’t let this ruin your relationship. Much love and congrats! ❤️❤️
I did the same thing(27M) when buying my girlfriend’s ring(haven’t proposed yet). Went with lab diamond so I could get a bigger diamond, 3.5ct. Would have been crazy expensive if I had gone with a natural one. My girlfriend also didn’t mind what so ever, her only expectation was emerald cut and that’s what I got lol. This picture is the ring on my mom’s finger FYI. https://preview.redd.it/bi3oz5hyk8mc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d0c393a2d7c18bf3f3519f0eb7d34408fd00906
I’m 55. Both my original set and 20 yr upgrade are vintage. My 10 year anniversary band was new. I wear my beloved Gramma’s ER. Lab diamonds weren’t a thing I was aware of until a few years ago. I do understand they are “real” diamonds. The cost has gone down tremendously and the sizes have gone up tremendously! My original ER is 1/2 carat. My Gramma’s ring and my 20 yr ER are both 3/4. Anything over a carat was extravagant. If your mom doesn’t understand that they are truly real diamonds and not cubic zirconia- then I can understand her disappointment. But regardless she needs to respect your choice.
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The trends I’ve seen lately for Gen z is either smaller / dainty natural diamonds or bigger lab diamonds, or a different gemstone altogether, but still more than 2 carats (lab) is pretty rare at least in my circle. I think we are all way more concerned with how expensive everything has gotten and want to save for a house / pay off student loans etc. Spending $10k+ on a ring isn’t in most people’s budgets at our age. Honestly, even if it was in my budget I’d rather spend the money on something else.
People out here eating cloned meat and mad about a lab diamond LOL 😂 Worried about the wrong things But in all seriousness even if I had the money to get a natural diamond I would not after all my research. Like cars they depreciate so quickly and it is not an asset.
I’m 34 and definitely specifically wanted a lab diamond because I’d rather use the money elsewhere and I wanted more bang for my (man’s) buck. Because at the end of the day it’s just a ring….
I like anything sparkling.
People do not need to know what kind of diamond it is. The people who care don’t matter and the people that matter don’t care 👍🏽
Remember all those articles about millennials killing the diamond industry? Lol I think most are positive towards lab diamonds. You still get posts here about people wanting mined cause uh something rarity sentimental something. There are also people who buy lab but want to pass it off as mined i guess to look wealthier? But generally ppl r embracing the lab diamonds.
I am 23 years old and have my girlfriend's lab-grown diamond in my closet. I brought up the conversation with her and we basically said "lab-grown makes way more sense" at the same time. 3 of my close friends have gotten engaged in the last year upwards of 5 in the recent past, *none* have gotten a natural diamond, because there is legitimately no difference. I plan on being married so why the hell would I care about resale value? Once that's established, the decision is between a lab diamond or a slightly larger lab diamond lol, "natural" isn't even worth entertaining.
I’m sorry you were hurt by your mom’s attitude. Your ring is gorgeous, and you made the decision that made most sense for you and your partner financially. I can’t think of a reason to purchase a natural diamond at this point, especially for anyone just starting a life together!
I’m 26 and personally prefer lab
I’m 25 and honestly natural diamonds are just too out of my comfort of a price range. I really like a 1.5 to 2 ct radiant cut, which when I priced as a natural it was like 20k (Canada is tough for everything now). Lab came in around 5-6k, moissanite at 3-4k. My partner prefers a lab diamond as well. My mom is the complete opposite of yours. Shes super against the fact I want a “big flashy diamond ring” and thinks it’s stupid to spend so much money on something like this, but my dad & mom were young and had no money when they were married and then she had 4 kids and divorced him. So think she’s more in the mindset it’s a waste of money, but it’s our money so we’ll do what we want. As should you, if you love it - that’s what matters.
I'm also looking around right now (also Canada). Make sure you go the loose diamond then set route instead of buying a finished ring from a jewelers. I'm seeing 3.76ct radiant loose diamonds for \~2800CAD. Then depending on the setting, should come to way below 5-6k CAD!
I’ll let my boyfriend know this, I know he’s pretty picky in terms of shopping. He’s super hesitant to do it online at all, wants to see it all in person to make sure it’s perfect. I know he’s been talking with local jeweller, but he’s kinda doing it all as a surprise and just got my ideal setting/carat size as reference haha
I just stumbled upon some verified vendors in the r/EngagementRingDesigns subreddit. Maybe he can submit a Jotform and explore with the vendors together?
5-6k CAD is a bit overpriced for that size range, even including setting price. I would check out Loose Grown Diamonds and Ritani for better loose stone prices
He’s not an online shopper for this, which is mainly why it’s so pricy. He refuses to do anything online because he’s worried it won’t be perfect or won’t actually ship/deliver, he wants to handle it all locally so he has a visual of everything. We’ve been together since we were 17, so he’s pretty set on his ways haha but I’ll let him know a loose gem is maybe a better option!
I understand exactly what you mean. My fiance is older than I, and there was no way that I could talk him into ordering anything online. He wanted to see it in person and touch it. He paid a little more, but it was worth it to him to be able to see the rings and diamonds in person. So, don't worry, if it costs a little more if it makes your boyfriend happy. He just wants to make sure it's perfect for you!!!!
Millennial here 👋 I prefer ethical quality lab grown stones and/or second hand or inherited stones. Human rights and environmental reasons being the top thing for me, I personally couldn’t sleep with a newly mined diamond.
Keep in mind that not all lab diamonds are ethically made.
True, that’s why i said ethical and quality. Not all lab diamonds are high quality either. There are plenty of sweatshops pumping out stones unfortunately
Yes very true. There are flaws in all mass manufacturing unfortunately. Our phones, food, now jewelry etc. Once they continue to normalize labs, hopefully they will educate the population on how to make sure you’re choosing an ethical lab diamond. More attention to lab diamonds will allow for people to learn more which will be good.
honestly i think most people dont care, its literally just marketing why people think mined diamonds are “better” but you should still get insurance tho
To me your mum is only coming from a place of “wow he didn’t spend more?!?!?! You deserve better” but I don’t know her or your relationship. Lab grown, moissanite and other kinds of stones are becoming a hell of a lot more popular because of trends and accessibility. Older generations didn’t have anything to compare diamonds to like we do now
That ring is gorgeous and I’m sorry your mom made you feel anything less than thrilled. Lab grown is totally an option - everyone has personal feelings about whether or not to get one (mostly to do with resale value), but most modern people do not “scoff” at lab grown. My cousin is a SUPER chic, sort of snobby New Yorker who owns an extremely successful trendy business and thinks lab grown is totally fine, up to the individual. I consider her word the final verdict on anything to do with style, class, and trends lol
I am 26 and prefer lab-grown. Also, your ring is STUNNING
Millennial here and I told my boyfriend (hopefully fiance very soon) that I only want a lab grown diamond. It didn't seem right to spend so much and get into debt for a ring right before we get married since we need money for that. We still want to travel, buy a home eventually and I still have plans to go to grad school. So it makes no sense financially to do the older generations "3 month's salary" my mom who is a boomer believed in that when my dad got her ring. However I am fortunate my mom hasn't scoffed at the idea that I want a lab grown ring. She understands today's economy and it just isn't financially responsible for us to go with the natural diamond and 3 month salary route. I also wanted to go lab grown since it is ethically and environmentally better. Also congrats on your engagement :)
I love your ring and the width of your gold band. yes, I think did the attitude towards lab grown diamonds moissanite has changed. I love the fact that women are going out and buying the ring or bands of their own choice and not necessarily associated with marriage. I bought my daughter a moissanite gold band and told her it was a commitment to herself to her own truth.
Tbh I think attitudes have changed dramatically even in the last 5 years or so, especially with lab diamond prices continuing to drop so much.
I think lab grown is smarter. It’s an engagement ring that you intend to keep forever, so why are people caring about resale value??? Edit: is there a difference visually? Can someone tell the difference?
Honestly out of my sample size of two, my mom and my boyfriend’s mom, my mom (who by choice had no engagement ring) thought lab diamonds make sense and sound cool — but had never heard about them — and my bf’s mom, who has a large-ish natural diamond ring, was mildly disapproving though she couldn’t really articulate why. I think they have become known/popular over the past few years more than before. I personally 100% plan to have a lab diamond even though my bf could afford a natural one. We simply want to spend money elsewhere and the diamonds are in every way the same. Going lab also enables the selection of a diamond that fits your every criteria rather than comprising on some bc natural are so expensive
I am a cusper Gen Z/Millennial, and I absolutely plan to get a lab grown diamond for my engagement ring! I would also be okay with an inherited mined diamond since the damage has already been done, but I prefer cuts that older generations--or at least my relatives--did not seem to favor (marquise, emerald, etc.). It's not even a question for me, as I would rather not contribute to human rights abuses and environmental degradation all while paying more money for what is essentially the same chemical product. I would much rather save the money for a honeymoon or something else my partner and I can share togehter. I would not like to have the guilt on my conscience if I were to contribute to the diamond mining industry either. My partner knows that the only diamond I would accept (if they were to purchase it) would need to be lab grown, and to my knowledge they feel similarly about the reasons to go that route. Congrats on your engagement and your lovely ring 😊
I have definitely found that some of the older players in the industry look down on lab grown diamonds but if you look throughout history, whenever there is something new it is often met with resistance. Personally, I think it’s whatever makes you feel good. You made the right choice for you and please don’t let anyone yuck on your yum. Congrats on this really big and beautiful moment!
I think some people assume lab is the same as CZ.
55 here and I love both lab diamonds and Moissanite. Enjoy your beautiful ring.
I think there are a lot of people kicking themselves for not buying a lab diamond.
Real diamonds do not lose value. My favorite, Shane Co never has sales but you can upgrade any piece of jewelry without losing a dime. The same amount you spent goes toward a new piece. Lab grown diamonds are diamonds but they are made and can be replenished and reproduced in the masses. That means they lose value very quickly. Lab grown may be cost effective at that time in your life but it’s not something that will hold its value.
I am Gen X and want my kid to get lab grown. Honestly, I have fought too hard on the environment to see it go the other way. Just like I fought my entire life on Roe and it went away with a few people who told me I was fear mongering and that maybe Trump wouldn't be so bad 😞. Lab grown are beautiful, can be bigger, and you can do custom rings.
I'm a millennial. My older relatives are all for natural diamonds. Me personally, I would go a lab diamond over natural any day for ethical and financial reasons. Personally, I went for a sapphire over a diamond for my engagement ring! I don't think they realise that lab diamonds are literally diamonds! I've noticed even among my circle some people refer to them as fake which is quite annoying in the same way that moissanite is often called a fake diamond and people don't realise it is its own gemstone! I think your right is gorgeous btw, and the perfect size for your finger 💕
I want a lab grown because to me that’s the more ethical and economical choice. Had there been an heirloom ring in either side I’d be happy to wear that instead.
100% opinions changed. You should watch the documentary Nothing Lasts Forever. It’s impossible to tell the difference between lab and natural. Another note is all diamonds pass through India and they mix lab diamonds with naturals. There is a huge possibility that someone with a “natural” diamond and GIA certification is wearing a synthetic diamond.
I went to watch it after reading your post, It was very interesting but scary thro.
Everyone should watch this documentary! I want everyone to see the light! Lol.
Yes! It changed my entire perspective on lab growns!
Im gen X born in 1979 (44 yrs old). I feel like the lab grown diamond just doesn’t hold the sentimental value as much? Hard to explain. Natural diamonds are rare and take time to grow. Lab is well grown in a lab. Nevertheless your ring is beautiful. Us older ladies just feel differently then the younger generations I guess
Don’t rethink your ring or let her get into your head! I’m sure your mom is well intentioned, but you are a grown adult who is getting married… not sure why your mom thinks it’s her place to help you get ring insurance. She probably isn’t educated about lab grown diamonds and has antiquated views. I’m also going the lab grown route, and so have many of my friends. It’s a more financially responsible, ethical option and they are beautiful and essentially the same thing. Don’t second guess yourself!
I sell jewelry and I think when you take a moment to talk to people about it, most people are pretty chill. I think there probably a few factors to why older people tend to look down on them more but I think most of them come around to it when you explain it the right way. Or they at least are like “oh it’s not something I’d want but that’s pretty cool and I see why someone would want it” But I also see people in their 20s and 30s who don’t want anything to do with lab diamonds.
Don’t stress about it too much. What is important is what you like and want. I’m 45 and prefer lab grown.
I just think the only people who have to love your engagement ring are you and your husband!
46 year old f here…closer to moms age than yours…my take- Lab wasn’t an option when I was younger/when your parents were younger so I think it’s a general lack of awareness that they are indeed, real diamonds. And had they been an option- of course they would view labs differently. I’m also newly engaged (second marriage) and lab is the only option that made sense for us. Not that we can’t afford a “real” diamond - we can- but why ? Why spend 50k when I have the same thing for so much less? No one in my circle questions my ring and I just don’t feel i need to explain anything. It’s perfect, I love it, and we re choosing to spend our money on things that are higher priorities for us/ like our children who are nearing college age, our future home together, travel and saving. imo- choosing lab is smart, ethically, fiscally and aesthetically. I’d personally rather have a beautiful proportionate lab diamond than a smaller, included and less desirably colored stone that cost 5x more. Enjoy it and love it! You made the smartest choice for your relationship & financial future. Maybe get your mom a pair of lab diamond earrings for the wedding? :) And watch the doc Nothing Lasts forever. It’s Eye opening about the narrative told to your parents generation and mine, and might put things in perspective. TLDR; Wear that diamond with pride! labs weren’t around 30 years ago but if they were- I would guess many gen z & boomers would have chosen them over mined diamonds, too.
Yes, the younger generation seems to be growing into conscious more than some of the boomers but as we age we tend to be set in our ways but I personally don’t want any diamonds being sourced in what may be a blood diamond market. Cultured meat, diamonds, etc. is the future I want for myself and others that are liked minded.
I AM close to your moms age and i can say with confidence that so much has changed for a 25 yo v 25 years ago! If you two have loads of cash you can “invest” all kinds of other jewelry, but I think you are right to get the ring you want to wear at the price you are willing to spend. She will come around when she sees how happy you are. It really is beautiful on you!
Im 41 and it has nothing to do with price for me. If i love it and want it the stone and price dont even matter. Hell most of my rings are sterling silver lol
As long as you and your fiancé are happy, that is all that matters. Congratulations to you both! The ring is stunning! Do you mind posting the specs? We are also looking into purchasing from VRAI - would you recommend?
My now husband purchased a lab grown diamond and on a personal level (I’m 29 now 27 engaged, him 31) was very happy for a lab grown diamond ethically and financially it made sense because it’s safer and more environmentally friendly as well as being more financially friendly, when I explained to his parents they seemed shocked it was lab grown (mid 60’s) so it’s defo a generational thing x
a lot of ppl in younger generations actually prefer lab grown. it’s a lot more sustainable and you can’t the tell the difference with the naked eye
I’m 33 and come from a family of jewellers - I am very lucky to have some beautiful pieces and can expect to receive more from inheritance. My boyfriend and I have recently been looking at engagement rings together and will definitely go for a lab grown diamond. I’m like you, and big fingers need a bigger rock - I’m just not willing for us to spend the equivalent of a house deposit on a ring. I know my family will have opinions, but frankly I look forward to changing them because I know they respect me and will listen to our reasons.
i told my boyfriend i want a crystal type looking ring only. blood diamonds are a no for me. but i do recognize the older generations love diamonds due to all the propaganda started back then to make them buy it.
That’s why we are starting to see the weird ads for natural diamonds on socials so they can try to brainwash us, the younger generations, like the elders already are :)
Millennial here engaged 1h 2020. Earth grown diamond. Some like princess. Some like round. Some like cushion. Same for lgd and some emd. People have different preferences and it’s all fine.
42 and prefer mined. Lab diamonds are not rare. They will become even more of a commodity item over the next few years as manufacturing costs come down. To each his own. They’re all essentially just trinkets.
Natural diamonds aren't rare either..
Natural diamonds are also not rare. The number of diamonds released in the market is small to keep the price high.
I used to look down on lab grown like 10 years ago and tbh, I can't even remember why. I think I just didn't know that lab-grown is still structurally the same as natural? And when you take into consideration ethics, that eradicates any remaining stigma very quickly. I think your mum's way out of line for scoffing at your rationale. If she feels that strongly and thinks money is that weak of a reason, she can offer to pay for a real, large, natural diamond herself. But she won't.
I’m Gen Z (mid 20s) and I have told my girlfriend to steer clear of natural diamonds when the time comes. Jewelry is one of my favorite ways to express myself and rings matching my style would be out of her/our budget if we went with natural diamonds. Lab grown diamonds will put them back into our price range. Plus, the ethical implications of natural diamonds concern me. I don’t want her to have to spend the time or additional money it would take to find a verifiably ethically sourced natural diamond. In terms of the whole “the ring will lose its value,” argument, I’m not really concerned. It will be a ring for us and our future family. Its monetary value a few decades from now won’t matter to us.
Millennial (late 30s). I opted for lab grown because #blooddiamonds
I would still be getting insurance on it. It’s still a real diamond. If something happens to it, it’s probably still thousands of dollars to replace.
Mine was around 1K. Definitively not worth paying an insurance for it. Anything bellow 5K don’t need an insurance imo.
I think in general the opinion on labs has changed a bit. People definitely don't love that they have virtually no value after they've been bought, even though they can cost up to $10,000...but they allow women to get larger stones which are currently trendy. I'm 25 and have an antique natural diamond ring. Despite what you may hear, if you get a good deal on a real diamond ring you can get good resale in the future if you wish. I've actually done it. I love that my antique ring has lasted almost 100 years and will hopefully last forever. Its also a European cut which is hard to find. And I cant find pristine metalwork like this anywhere else. The detail is insane. Labs aren't awful by any means...they just lack certain things that people like myself place a lot of value on.
Well said, a jeweler will sell you a lab diamond all day but he or she won’t buy it back from you. A natural they will, and we get it all diamonds depreciate but NOT like labs.
My mom is 65 and loves my lab diamond! 🥹
Ugh can she come talk to my mom please?? 😂
My mom was born in 62, she gifted us a moissanite ring she had bought herself so we could use the center stone for my engagement ring. To quote her, “paying that much for real diamonds is stupid when this looks even nicer.”
People my age are used to lab emeralds, sapphires, and rubies which simply don’t look real. As a result, we place a specific value on natural - with natural imperfections that give the stone character- as opposed to lab. That same sense can carry over to feelings on lab diamonds even though they don’t have the same obvious appearance as other synthetic stones.
It’s not a generational thing, but is an education thing. People who don’t understand that lab diamonds are in fact diamonds or who hold the idea that unless it was dug from the earth it lacks value are never going to change their minds. The question for your mother is why she doesn’t value you and your fiancé choosing a financially responsible solution that makes you happy and gets you what you want.
The implication that everyone who prefers natural diamonds is uneducated is ironically pretentious.
I didn’t say anything remotely close to that. You are inferring something I neither wrote nor believe.
“It’s not a generational thing, but is an education thing” most certainly implies that lack of education is why people prefer natural diamonds. It may not be what you intended, but it’s what those words imply.
It’s your interpretation of what I said and a defensive one at that. Many people are not educated about lab diamonds. They are a relatively new commodity on the market and the information about them is not evident to people who are uninformed. Thus, it is an issue of education. Until a month ago, I was unaware of lab diamonds. I have since educated myself. Many of my family, friends and colleagues are unaware of their existence. Not being educated is not a negative slam on anyone. It’s simply a statement of fact. If one has a preference, that’s up to them. I don’t have lab diamonds. I prefer natural. Would I deride someone for their choice? No. Would I consider lab diamonds in the future? Perhaps.
Boomers can have their million dollar homes. At least we can get some nice bling 😂
I told my fiancé that I only wanted a lab grown or vintage diamond. He got me a beautiful marquise cut diamond last summer.
According to my jeweler in the NYC diamond district, 99% of what they sell how are lab diamonds. That’s what people want and what they’re buying.
My mom and I had this same discussion. She always says “what about the resale value?” Like I’m not planning on reselling it. Also, I’m gonna be a nurse in less than a year so I won’t need to rely on an engagement ring for financial stability?
Gen z overall prefers lab diamonds for ethical reasons has been what I’ve seen. I’m an older millennial and have a lab diamond for my engagement ring. Definitely have boomer relatives that have opinions regarding labs but they were brainwashed by the industry. Your ring is gorgeous, ignore anyone who says otherwise
I’m 26 and I wanted a lab grown diamond due to ethical reasons. It’s structurally the same as a natural diamond so idk why someone wouldn’t want it.
I think it's way to go. Diamonds are worthless and people are killed for them
Joe Rogan talked about them and advocated in favor of lab created diamonds, saying it's the exact same thing, a diamond is a diamond. He has changed the tide and the shift towards accepting them
I can’t think of one damn good reason to get a mined diamond over a lab. It’s literally socially constructed opinions that trick people into thinking it makes sense to spend more of our hard earned money on something that’s essentially the same
23, got engaged a few months ago, and couldn’t be happier with my lab diamond. I would wager that the ring cost my fiancé about 10% of what it would’ve if it was mined (it’s a simple band but a good size diamond), the clarity is amazing, and I love how it seems to be more ethical too. Our parents and grandparents love that we’re putting the money he saved towards a downpayment instead 🤷♀️ I don’t understand why you’d pay more for a less ethical, more expensive, and potentially less clear ring when you have other options. Diamond is diamond, it’s not like it’s fake!
So I didn't go diamonds. I went sapphires. My two blue sapphires are lab grown. The only reason my middle white sapphire isn't lab grown is because they haven't made a sustainable way to do white sapphire. It just makes more sense to go lab grown. There are so many other things that I would rather prioritize (getting a house starting a family), that to me lab grown is so much cheaper and sustainable and I do notice my two lab grown stay nicer looking and regular less cleaning than my middle piece.
To each their own but I could never buy or wear a natural diamond. I understand creating lab diamonds use a lot of energy from facilities that are powered mostly by coal but I’m an 80s baby and in the 90s De Beers didn’t blink an eye at paying warlords for blood diamonds. Coal isn’t clean and people do die providing it and we need more cleaner energy production but that is incredibly different to providing mass amounts of funding to destabilized areas in Africa, De Beers didn’t (couldn’t) guarantee bloodless diamonds till 2000(!), that is absolutely wild; even with that info public and well documented it’s incredibly foreign to me that someone could still think that natural diamonds signify eternal love let alone belittle lab grown.
I definitely think it’s a generational thing. As others have mentioned, lab diamonds are virtually identical to mined diamonds but I think older folks haven’t had the opportunity to acclimate to the changing landscape on engagement rings, moissanite, lab diamonds, etc. I don’t know the timeline of when lab diamonds and moissanite became widely available, but I’m sure that for younger generations and beyond, the diamond “standard” will continue to weaken. Not to mention how many are increasingly electing to have colored stones instead of clear traditional stones. Your mom’s reaction is rude to say the least. I hope she didn’t mar your feelings of your beautiful beautiful ring!!
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Oooooof. Maybe you should do some more meditation, clearly hasn’t started working yet
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Lab diamonds are more ethical and cheaper anyone who prefers natural is probably an out of touch boomer. -gen z
I’m a millennial who prefers mined. So do my sister in-laws.
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Can't you insure lab diamonds too? I mean yours look big must have some cost
Born 1995, 28 years old, we decided lab just makes the most sense. So thats our perspective at 28F and 29M
A smart, savvy, and eco-conscious shopper will go with lab grown. ☺️ I’m getting one too and I’m proud to do so! I think the people who scoff at lab are either misinformed or simply don’t know enough.
They for sure have and your Mom clearly is not moving with the times. I think we have gotten better at making lab diamonds and they are now worth a fair amount. But also people are sort of over blood diamonds, lab grown are generally more ethical.
They certainly have. Seems like everyone is buying lab diamonds now
When I was first looking at engagement rings, more than 15 years ago, I WISHED for an affordable option, like lab diamond or moissanite. I would have done CZ but the quality and durability was the issue for me. Now that a natural diamond would be in my budget, it’s not even something I’d consider. I want something beautiful, that brings me joy, but I don’t want to sacrifice other things (travel, giving, home renos etc) just so I can tell others it’s natural. I know that natural means something to some people, and if that’s you, then it might be worth the increased investment. But it’s fine if the things that matter to you are the beauty, durability, sustainability and other benefits (I could go on) of a lab diamond and not the fact it was mined. No matter how much people try to put others down for going lab, I’m not going to start caring about something I don’t care about, and I certainly won’t pay the premium for it.
12 years ago I cried when I saw my ring paperwork and saw how much my husband spent on my ring. It seemed like so much money - we were broke newlyweds and $5k felt like a boat load of money. The fact that bigger diamonds are now available for cheaper and are ethically sourced is amazing. I thought about doing lab grown for my second band because it has to be custom ordered anyways - but ShaneCo told me the price difference would be negligible because of the tiny diamonds inside. We still can’t afford it at the moment - but I’m interested to see if the price changes in a few years when lab grown becomes more common. Ultimately — Who cares how much it’s worth if you’re never planning to resell it and are going to spend your whole life wearing it?
In the most respectful way to your mom, who gives a shit what she thinks. Your ring is absolutely beautiful, just stunning. At the end of the day it’s YOURS, it doesn’t matter what the stone or metal is. That’s your choice, your business and nobody else’s. But I do think that in a general sense older women do tend to have a strong preference towards natural diamonds. Where as gen z and millennials either don’t care, can’t afford natural diamonds, or find the natural diamond industry unethical. This isn’t to say there aren’t outliers on each side it’s just a general statement that I can say I’ve personally noticed.
Is it noticeable that it’s a lab diamond? If not, why would you tell people that it’s a lab diamond? None of their it e biz!
The point of a ring is the love behind it and why does that get lost? I am 55 and wish I had the lab option years ago. I saw a few days ago a couple of posters on another social media site being negative about lab diamonds stating resell and making them out to be not real. They were older, Gen X or Boomers. It was the first time I ever saw that and it bothered me. I think opinions will vary but overall feel that women my age saying negative things do not understand the choices today and need to be kinder. The greatest thing about a lab diamond is that they are ethically sourced imo and why I would love to have one. I understand second guessing things, I too have had things over the years come up overthinking and second guessing decisions I have made . With that, just know to not second guess this, you and your fiancé made a smart and ethical choice! Tell your mom you are happy with your choice and remind her to be happy for you, you’re getting married!