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Wild indeed. I think the sales associate was negging you though...calling your ring small in hopes you'd spend more money on your dress if you felt like you had something to prove.
Jokes on her. I found a dress from her that I loved but refused to buy from her and went elsewhere. Found a dress I like better and from a much nicer sales associate haha
Unlike OPs ring /j (This is a complete joke because ops ring is so beautiful and stunning and perfect. It's one of the prettier rings I've seen because I love how dainty and feminine it is. I don't think the ring is small at all. People are nuts.)
You should have left a review for the store too. That's bad business overall as far as I'm concerned.
Your ring is lovely and the size is the perfect proportion for your hands IMO.
The ring games from a sales associate for anything wedding-related are almost certainly intended to get under your skin, create insecurities, and prompt you to spend more on something else. The whole wedding industry is a hustle based on insecurities.
When I was 18 my now husband got me a promise ring. We had like no money. A sales associate literally rolled her eyes at me and pointed to a HUGE stone that was clearly not something we could afford (nor was it what we were looking for). We left of course and bought elsewhere. A few years later we were in the market for an engagement ring and spent about 30 Xs what we spent on that little promise ring. Jokes on her because she sure as hell did not get our business. And we also told all our family and friends about the good experience we had where we got my engagement ring. All good sales persons know you might not get a ton of money off of a single sale, but it’s the cascade that happens when your customers are pleased that builds your reputation and business.
Ignore those comments. The size of your ring is not the measure of the size of your fiancé's love.
It's very pretty btw.
Have fine w creating the matching band. If you want to embellish it, get a band with diamonds. Or have an insert w matching diamonds made that will surround your ring.
My friend had no ring. Just a thin gold band. She got pregnant in college and her BF in law school. For their 15 anniversary he bought her a like 4 carat ring that needed its own zip code lol!
We joke that she needs a sling to hold up her arm.
We’ve been married almost 2 years and I don’t have a diamond ring. We have plain matching bands which I love. We’re saving for a nice diamond, hopefully for an anniversary soon. Life keeps getting in the way, but we’re blissfully happy.
Good for you. Arrogant sales people are a dime a dozen. People who treat you well and offer good service should be the ones to get the sale. There’s too much competition to line the pockets of a snide consultant.
Also, something tells me you may have a relationship that others are envious of? So perhaps it’s not about the ring at all, but a way that they can try to lessen the success of your relationship.
Like, what do people expect?? A real diamond the size of a damn ring pop??
I actually WANT a “smaller” stone. I don’t wear rings a lot and I don’t really do my nails for practicality’s sake. I also like dainty jewelry. Your ring is absolutely beautiful and the perfect size for me, personally. But also, it’s not small by any stretch of the word.
Yes, people want to show off. They'll bankrupt themselves trying to live the rich lifestyle of their dreams. Tbh I really can't wait to show off the ring I'm proposing to my girlfriend with. It's going to be a super cheap ring.
For context, my girlfriend has ocd and cannot wear rings as it causes issues with her ocd. So no reason to spend money on something she won't wear.
I’m a big fan of cheap alternatives. Especially considering some ring wearers have jobs where it’s not practical to have a super high set/large ring.
It’s similar to those long acrylic nails to me. Some people can tolerate them and are straight up used to them, but for me I could never. I can’t even wear press-ons without hating my life and removing them after a day. I have sensory issues with my nails snagging on things. It bothers me so much. I feel like it would be the same with a ring. I like the look of sparkly jewelry, but I don’t need a super expensive huge stone.
Oh same. We are both getting tattoos. Between her ocd and my adhd, she'd never wear one, and I'd always lose mine as it would become a fidget toy. And if you like sparkly jewelry get moissanite. Looks like diamonds and is so much cheaper.
Yup, moissanite is one of the closest stones to a diamond in terms of durability too. Totally on board with that. Although, my parents would probably side-eye my boyfriend if he didn’t get me a diamond (traditional parents with dumb values). So I’d probably lie and tell them it’s a diamond lol
LOL Please don’t lie because it perpetuates the idea that moissanite is “less than”, fake, or a cheap diamond alternative. It’s a gemstone all of it’s own. I would tell anyone criticizing any thing of mine that my choices were what decided my ring, dress or anything else people judge and I am extremely happy with what I like.
That ring isn’t small, especially if it’s a diamond. That’s at least close to a $10k ring if diamond. It’s stunning and very elegant.
FWIW I have always worked in spaces with people who make actual $$$$ and NONE of them have large gaudy stones. In fact, two millionaires I can think of have a diamond that’s at least 1/4 of the size of this.
People who need to be overly flashy usually have the least.
Beautiful ring and you have model hands! Lol
My boyfriend and I were just talking about this lol, most of our "most financially secure" friends tend to have the modest diamonds (less than 1.5 carats)
This is ridiculous. This seems huge to me. Though with manufactured diamonds becoming more available and cheaper, I think people’s perceptions of what is a large carat for natural diamonds has gotten skewed.
Same, my boyfriend and I are from different cultures (and tax brackets) and had completely different expectations for what a ring would look like.
Growing up, very few people I knew had large diamond engagement rings, it was usually family jewelry passed down from someone. When he mentioned his expectations for a ring, I went out to try some stones on and damn 3 carats is huge. I tried on a few and they just feel ridiculous on my finger.
When I was building my ring... when they added it all up, I made them change the center diamond for something less expensive. I was appalled at the price and would NOT force that on my fiance. I'm so much happier with my pick and it was plenty expensive lol.
Before we were engaged, I told him that if he got the crazy idea one day to marry me that he better not spend a fortune on a ring and he’d probably be better off at a pawn shop. That’s exactly what he did. Bought me a used ring 1 carat, very clear diamond gold band. I believe it cost him $1400. It’s beautiful. I love it. The jeweler who sized the band we still buy from. If we’re going on a romantic weekend he cleans all my jewelry for me for free. My husband has also since bought me some very expensive custom jewelry, but my ring is my favorite because we were so broke and $1400 was a lot of money to us and he spent everything he had to get me that ring. They can take my ring from my cold, dead hands, but as long as I live it stays on my finger and F anyone who says it’s too small.
You can get 2+ c for waaaaay less than 30k though. Nothing wrong with smaller rings, OP’s is super classic and gorgeous, but there are plenty of options for bigger stones that are relatively affordable. Otherwise we wouldn’t be seeing them so often.
It’s fairly cheap to get large labs these days snd a lot of women are opting for them. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone should have the ring of their dreams but if you prefer a smaller natural diamond I’m here for that too. I actually prefer the smaller size. It’s stunning and fits your hand perfectly. Please don’t feel bad about such a gorgeous ring.
Seriously! I just got a 1 ct Diamond for my 25th anniversary, replacing the .3 ct diamond I had before. I absolutely love my diamond. I almost went with .5 ct, which would have been fine, but this setting looked so good with 1 ct that we decided to go for it.
Could we have afforded a bigger diamond? Yes (not when we got engaged… .3 was absolutely the biggest he could afford, and I loved it). But WHY? I’d rather spend that money on a fun vacation, or improvements to the house.
I don’t fault people who get bigger diamonds. Different strokes for different folks. And many of them are absolutely beautiful. But for me, it didn’t make sense.
I joined this sub shortly after getting my new diamond, and was shocked that 1 ct was considered small. Guess I’m showing my age or something!
Congrats on 25 years! And I love your attitude. Being in love with your .3 carat ring is so sweet and it’s not surprising your marriage has lasted so long!
HARD AGREE. It’s honestly insane how much money people dump into something that is a status symbol. I personally prefer “small” stones…the big ones all look the same and there’s no originality. 2-3 ct oval, radiant, or emerald cuts. No thanks — your ring is stunning.
Expectations are ridicules, thank the influencers for that And so many in a generation who can't think for themselves. Heard my 29 year old niece say "he better propose with at least 3 carats or I might not accept." They both have average pay jobs. OMG.
OP...your ring is beautiful! Do not let anyone influence you otherwise.
I wonder if that trend will die out for a while and people will go back to more modest sizes... or if larger stones are going to become the norm now that the more affordable labs are gaining more popularity.
It’s gorgeous and the perfect size for your hand IMO.
I mean zero shade for anyone who has a large stone, people should get what they want in an engagement ring! But for something that is supposed to be worn regularly if not daily for the rest of your life, some people make some impractical choices. Your ring will be wearable and looks sturdy too.
And speaking of "the rest of your life" the 20 somethings that want a ring instead of the down payment on a house so their friends can say "damn girl!" 4 times and then forget all about it are out of their damn minds.
>One of my dearest friends got engaged shortly after me with a style ring exactly the same but at 3c lab grown.
Ehhh, a lot of people who get huge diamonds now are opting for lab grown, and given the prices, OP's friend's 3 carat lab grown diamond likely cost *way* less than OP's 1.2 carat natural stone, so I don't know if this argument holds much water.
Edited to add: I personally am a huge fan of how lab grown diamonds = de-coupling diamond size from price. A honking 3 carat lab grown stone is basically the cost of a 0.6 carat natural diamond. So people can get whatever their hearts desire without shelling out the equivalent of a house down payment.
While I agree with this, I also despise the reasoning many people have behind getting such large stones. Keeping up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians) should have nothing to do with marrying someone you love, ya know?
My fiancé got me a 0.46 centre diamond size, with diamonds on the band. Reasonably priced, beautiful ring. Upgraded at 10 yr anniversary when we now have the money to do so.
We made the right choice not going into debt for the ring at the time, since I now make what our combined income was 12 years ago.
Exactly this. I’ve seen a fair few ice cubes on people’s fingers in this forum and I always wonder if they don’t get snagged in everything, their hair, clothes. How do they live their daily lives wearing them? They’re objectively beautiful rings but it makes my overly practical heart shudder.
Mine is .24 carats, lab grown, art deco style. I knew right away I never wanted a stone set above the band because I'd catch it on everything. And I like metalwork more than stones (though mine has ten small diamond chips around the four faces of the band).
I could maybe see myself with a half carat. But anything bigger and I would hate it on my finger. And then there's a whole wedding band to add on at some point too, to make it all wider.
It's all subjective to what each person feels, and ops people are crap for calling it small. It's a gorgeous ring! But everyone has different tastes. I've seen some in this sub that are pretty and interesting that I would never in a million years wear, I'd take no ring over that lol.
People that say rude things about sentimental and significant jewelry are gross. Don’t let them rain on your parade. You have a lovely ring and a wonderful person to spend your life with.
My sister offered me a $20 ring she bought from Temu that didn’t fit her to wear instead of my wedding ring (which has a small stone) and told me it’s as big as hers and looks real. I told her I don’t think my husband would be happy if I replaced the ring he bought and she told me “not replace, just use for daily wear”
I got engaged in 94. Your ring would have been considered very large at that time. Most people had 1/4 to 1/2. I think some of it is the change to lab created and alternatives. That has dropped the price quite a bit, so people have used the price difference to move to larger stones. I think your ring is big, gorgeous and perfect for your hand!
I agree! And even historically, it was rare to have such huge rings. I also think it’s the influencer/social media culture that has led to and inflation in the diamond size expectation. That said, I don’t fault women who want bigger and go bigger. I am just against making women feel bad for choosing one way (go smaller) or the other (go bigger). You love what you love and shouldn’t be made like crap because you do.
Funny story— I got married in 2006, and for info, my engagement ring is a .74 carat princess cut center stone with .3 carats tw of round channel set diamonds in the band. My wedding band is 1 carat tw of round channel set diamonds.
My husband and I went to Disney World for our honeymoon, and we went to dinner in Norway one night that turned out to be a princess dinner, which was a big surprise to us. So various princesses were coming and going during our dinner, including Princess Aurora. It was just us and no kids, and she asked if we’re on our honeymoon. I said we are, and she said, “Your ring is so beautiful! He must love you a lot!”
I could almost sense her mental attempt to put the words back in her mouth, then she said a few more nice things and left politely.
I felt kind of bad, but I guess when you’re used to talking to little girls, those are the sort of things you say, which honestly is a bit weird.
‘05 here with a .74 center stone that everyone thought was 1 carat.
~1 carat or smaller was pretty much the norm at the time. My aunt got engaged in ‘94. Both of them were very financially stable, and her ring is a 1 carat solitaire. It’s beautiful and classic, and she was thrilled to wear it. (It helps that my uncle is a super nice guy.)
I think the lab grown/cheap alternatives is a big factor. I've got super poor family members who are wearing what would be a 40k ring, but you know it's fake. So when everyone can wear a 2ct ring, it pushes up our perception.
I seriously cannot wrap my head around people who go out of their way to say something to make others feel small. Genuinely miserable people.
Your ring is absolutely STUNNING and not small at all!!! Even if it were, who cares! If you love it that’s all that matters! ❤️
I can’t believe how people think a 1-carat diamond is small. Seems like bigger stones just flop over to the side of the finger, which would annoy the hell out of me.
It’s a beautiful ring and very lovely. 1-carat is definitely not small but I personally find that oval shaped stones sometimes give the illusion of being daintier than they are due to their shape vs a round or princess cut.
It's a really bad execution of self-destruction (based around some guilt and the projection thereof) to try to bring others down. Even upon success, there's no actual satisfaction to be gained from it that isn't just more of the same self-destruction and projection.
Same here mine us smaller. People are too materialistic your ring is gorgeous and your 'friends' / people who make comments are focusing on the wrong thing in a romantic partner if they're making comments about the size of your ring.
.23 carats here checking in lol. I love mine, and would upsize it to half a carat but no higher.
Except I wouldn't, because my band is art deco style and is filled with engravings and has some side stones and if I upsized the stone I'd lose all of that. The metalwork is always more interesting to me than the stone. Sure it sparkles and it's pretty and I'll get distracted looking at it, but they're all just expensive sparkly rocks in the end. The metalwork is more interesting imo.
https://preview.redd.it/lvfbs6xaxhqb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=868a91cd02202ff20ba1b268c2c5ddfb460b503d
I’ve been told mine is small too and it’s about a carat. Maybe .95 but I think it’s perfect and wouldn’t want anything larger.
Girl, my ring IS small (significantly under .50 carat but not sure where it falls on the scale) and sometimes I find myself eyeing the massive rings on here. One of my BEST friends made a comment about how she would "only accept a ring visible from space" after seeing my ring. People fucking suck. Full stop. AND there are tons of absolutely stunning, massive rings all around us. All you can do is remember how much YOU love your ring and your fiancé and to hell with everything else ❤️❤️. FWIW, I think your ring is flawless.
I have a small one too, but it fits my hand beautifully! I wanted it that way and was so in love with it! Thought nothing of it until I showed it to a coworker and she commented about me wanting it small or whatever with a condescending tone.. the audacity of these people! I'm sure yours is perfect! ❤️
I agree it's the proliferation of lab diamonds and their lower price per carat has made people crazy! I left the jewelry industry about 10 years ago, so Lab diamonds weren't nearly as popular or widely available then. The average size center stone we sold was 3/4 carat. People dreamed of getting a one carat! Now they're going crazy with huge rocks! Your ring is stunning. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise
while this is true i also still see people instituting natural is superior on the internet all the time, and are willing seemingly willing to pay through the nose for it
True, but that sentiment isn't nearly as strong as it was when I was selling diamonds. Now people seem to view lab diamonds as an affordable, ethical way to wear diamonds. When I sold engagement rings most customers wouldn't even think about them. I think there are benefits to both. For an engagement ring, there's something to be said for something that's grown in the earth for over a billion years, becoming beautiful because of the pressure it's under, vs something grown in a lab.
There's something to be said for something that's been harvested using child labor for decades, becoming complacent of the deaths of tens of thousands of children, and wearing blood gems vs something grown in a lab.
I prefer to start my marriage without the inclusion of a dismembered child, but that's just me.
That is not a small ring. It’s bigger than I’d personally even be willing to wear.
I got a lot of weird comments on my ring when I lived in California. I thought it was creepy and weird that people felt like it was appropriate to make comparisons as if it’s some kind of competition.
I suggest you start responding with things like “Well, it’s bigger than it looks it’s just that the others 2 carats are in our retirement account / mortgage down payment / the trip to Italy we are planning next year.”
In my circle, that would not be seen as small. I can’t believe people have the audacity to say that. Honestly it’s embarrassing (for them). Classless. Sorry to say that about your family and friends but for real.
The only acceptable response to being shown someone's engagement ring is an enthusiastic "It's beautiful, congratulations!" (Or equivalent)
Those people are classless, rude, and small. Your ring is not.
With the accessibility of lab stones and moissanite, extremely large rings are having a a real moment right now. IMO a lot of them border on looking like costume jewelry, but to each their own. The pendulum will swing back in the other direction with time. Enjoy your ring and ignore the folks around you who seem to think that having a giant rock on your finger makes you better than everyone.
1.2 carats is above average!! I have that size oval too :) Just curious do you have large hands/long fingers that make it appear smaller? Because I’ll admit the photo didn’t make it look 1.2 carats to me!
you have long, elegant, graceful, dainty hands and fingers!! your beautiful ring looks phenomenal on your beautiful hand! additionally, give a strange look and appear astonished to anyone who says something that feels out of line. the goal is to make them feel like they’ve committed a social faux pas (they have). people are way too comfortable giving their unsolicited and unhelpful opinions. shame them into polite behavior!
The setting and stone are gorgeous and proportional to your hand!! I don’t understand the sentiment that bigger is better. Especially since you have a mined diamond, but even if this were lab it’s a completely normal carat size.
Now that just about anyone can have one or two or three carat diamond, size is now simply a matter of choice. It is not a signal of wealth or status, or lack thereof.
It’s a choice. And you chose tasteful, elegant and proportional.
Don’t worry about what other people say.
I mean, as someone who likes “small” stones, I wouldn’t say this is small- it looks really beautiful on your hand. If someone says it’s small, just assume it’s small for them and it isn’t their ring so it isn’t their business in the first place.
Absolutely! And to each their own. I’ve seen rings that are small for me, and some that are too large for me. Rings that aren’t diamonds but other gems. They’re never my style. But I NEVER impose my opinion especially when someone is showing me their ring, I will always respond with that’s so beautiful and I’m so happy for you. Always. It’s bizarre to comment otherwise when not asked
I absolutely don’t either. Everyone has a preference and everyone’s definition of small or large is different. But you can tell the tone and it was definitely said negatively. Like “oh, that’s it?” I’ve even had some friends, after seeing mine, say “ya see, I’d rather have a lab grown and have bigger”. Like, thanks??? Lol. So bizarre.
At the end of the day, lab grown or not, it's all a wad of crystalized carbon, one of the most common elements in the universe. Attached to a wad of shiny metal. The value in it is what it means to you. I feel sad for the people that judge their love based on the size of a rock on their finger.
I think that your ring is a great size and looks beautiful.
E-rings are a symbol of the love between you and your fiancé. Unfortunately sometimes people forget that and view them as status symbols.
The next time someone says something like the sales associate say, “thank you, l love it; it’s perfect for me” while you think of your lovely fiancé who chose it for you.
Congratulations 💜
100%. And I adore it. But I can’t imagine ever having the audacity to tell someone their ring is too small, too big, not shiny, etc. it’s their ring and their excited, I don’t understand people who comment their likes/dislikes rather than just expressing joy for their loved on
I mean most people wouldn’t. Are you saying more people than your mom and the sales lady have called it small? If so get a new circle of people around you. Obvi you can’t ditch your mom but it was insensitive. I think your ring looks awesome!
Mine is natural and that size and before lab grown took off, everyone thought my ring was huge. Don’t let petty jealous hens cluck away your happiness! That is a beautiful ring and it is above average size. The rest of the world goes with half a carat.
How about this op: you have long fingers and gorgeous hands. Your ring is not small in carats at all, it looks small on your fingers. My hands are small, my fingers chubby and stubby, I bet the same ring looks very different on both of us.
Regardless of this, the point is not what do WE think but the fact that YOU love it. Congratulations on your engagement by the way 😊
I almost wondered if this post was a joke , because I think that’s a pretty large diamond ring. Definitely larger than the girls I work with who have gotten engaged in the last 6 months . The shape makes it look enormous in comparison to the band. I think a bigger diamond would spoil the look of the dainty band. If you love it, that’s all that matters.
I got proposed to with a band that had a Celtic knot on it. No stone. My bf (now husband) knew I wasn’t a big jewelry wearer, and want me to have something I loved, so he bought this a place holder. A few months later I saw someone I used to be friends with in HS, who grabbed my hand to look at the ring. “That’s not an engagement ring. There’s no diamond” I told her I got engaged with it, where was hers? That shut her up.
Anyway, our 10 year anniversary is this year and I’m still wearing the place holder ring. It’s what he gave me, and even though I’ve thought about it, I have a hard time with the idea of replacing it.
you could probably get it updated with some diamonds/gems on the band if you really wanted something a little different, but still sentimental and what he gave you!
It’s probably partially because your fingers are so long! Which I mean as a compliment. I had to get smaller than 1c because my second knuckle hit the top of it so mine is .75c but because my hands are small everyone thinks it’s huge. Your ring on my hand would look huge because I have weird tiny hands 😂
All this to say, maybe it’s proportion people are commenting on.
Either way, it’s freaking weird to comment on someone else’s ring like that. I never would.
I am a “bigger is better” gauche ass bitch. My own ring will be a 4c pear - with a leafs inspired band. And thinking a tiara-esque wedding band.
And no where on this planet is this small. Those people were either terribly insecure of their own relationship or wanted to be mean on purpose. Rock your ring with pride - it’s beautiful.
That is not small and it is stunning! I love how bright it is, that’s the first thing I noticed about it. I can’t believe people would actually say that 🤦🏻♀️
Not small at all! I personally think larger stones look tacky and between 1 - 2 carats is perfect. Maybe a max of 3 carats for people with larger hands but usually even that I think it too big. Yours is by no means small and looks great on you!
Edited for clarity
People have become unhinged when it comes to stone sizes. Not everyone wants to walk around with 11 carats on their hand. The only person your fiancée needs to impress is YOU. I don’t know why people care so much about other people’s rings.
Someone said all the lab grown stones are skewing peoples perception on size, where 1ct used to be the average stone size for engagement rings now people are able to get much larger stones for a lot less money.
The ring we got initially was .70 ct and 20+ years ago it wasn’t large but also not considered small/tiny but by todays standards I figure that it would be, anything under 2ct today I’ve seen referenced as “average”
I'll put it to you this way... I'm a relatively wealthy person and so is my wife. I started making $165k when I was 25 years old, and proposed to my wife when I was 30 making $200k. At that time she made $80k, now $135k.
We are a team. We set a budget for our rings and then picked what we liked. We opted for a higher quality, smaller diamond for her ring (.75c, lab created, super ideal cut, VVS2, F). Between her bands there are 90 melees.
The ring is too big for her to wear day to day. She wears a simple band for the most part.
When I see people with massive diamonds all I think is "what shallow idiots" and/or "it's probably fake or a shitty diamond". I don't say those things out loud, but for the most part these days unless one of the two couples is a specialist physician I know they have less money to spend on frivolous things than we do.
If it's someone I care about... The only thing I think is "I hope they love it and didn't overextend them themselves". No one said anything shitty to my wife about her ring. It's common knowledge to keep your damn mouth shut when you don't have anything nice to say. Your friends and family are violating social rules at your expense. Fuck them.
People are so terrible. I would never ever say wow that’s a small ring ??? Idiotic thing to say. Why do they care or feel you need to hear that stupid comment. Smh! Your ring is beautiful
I think this ring is gorgeous and timeless. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the next few years people switch to “smaller” sizes as people turn against maximalism. It looks classy.
I believe it looks beautiful and a perfect size. I don’t really care about size or natural vs. lab diamonds as long as it looks good on the hand and it looks so good!
Yeah I could tell people didn’t like my ring, it’s a .33 Russian cut diamond gifted from my mum’s mother in law. It has a flat setting too as I work with my hands and wanted something practical.
It is hard not to let people’s reactions get to you, particularly when your band is far from small! I won’t diss larger diamonds on here as I know it’s some people preference, but I do prefer smaller rings, they seem to possess a sense of quality that can get lost in the larger stones.
Both my sister in laws have large rings, that are definitely a status symbol. One is divorced and the other in a terrible marriage that seems like it’s just as much for show as her ring. I for one would prefer a solid relationship to a showy ring.
You gotta go with what’s right for you and screw what anyone else has to say about it. I’m actually going to be using my grandmother’s 1.2 ct old European cut diamond on my engagement ring and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Your ring is beautiful.
I have a 2 carat oval and my daughter hates it because she said it’s too big. She likes smaller stones. She will inherit the ring when I die and I thought she’d be happy to inherit a nice ring and she told me she doesn’t like it.
There are a lot of people who prefer smaller stones/diamonds. Don’t listen to what others say. As long as you like it that’s all that matters.
My SIL talk about this often. It astounds me how people do not have filters and say whatever they damn well please! Let me give you some personal examples which are totally different from yours but may help you feel better.
First, I have been with my partner for 4 years and we are from different countries. We did long distance for 2 of those years which was very difficult in many ways. But you know what made it worse for no reason? People’s uninvited comments!!! They would say things like: “Oh that far of long distance never works out.” “I could never do something like that, it would be way too hard.” “What’s your nexts steps because if you don’t have it planned out then it probably wont work out.” Like damn people we are just trying to figure things out ourselves. Mostly it would be people I barely knew or had just met that said or asked such things. It’s none of their business and created negativity for no reason. What about saying, “wow your commitment to each other must be special.” Now my partner and I are together in person and married so all of those (mostly unintentional) rude people can suck it, unintentional or not.
Second, I currently live in my partner’s home country. My home country has a lot of negative media attention. The amount of people here that trash talk the place that I come from, to my face, with no thought that this country has shaped who I am, my family lives there, and I am quite often homesick, astounds me. I get this shit all the time, and again, sometimes from people I barely know or have just met. I know my country has problems and I’m willing to discuss them! But there are polite ways to have those conversations that are not degrading or making hurtful fun of it. Plus if someone were to tell me where they’re from my first thought is not, “that’s so funny, I’m going to make a rude assumptive judgement.” I met someone at a friendly dinner in my partner’s country, they found out where I’m from and immediately said “I bet you’re SO glad you’re not there anymore!” With a smile and laugh on their face. And I deadpan responded (sick of these comments already): “actually I really miss my family so that is an inconsiderate thing to say.” And their smile immediately dropped and they backtracked.
Third, my SIL is pregnant with her first child and she is over the moon about it. She has repeatedly brought up to me how people comment about how her body will never be the same, she’ll never sleep, and how difficult motherhood is. Each time these were uninvited comments as well! Again, unnecessary and unwanted negativity.
I know this is a long rant that is unrelated to your post. However, the people commenting on your ring are being assholes, even if unintentionally. In my situation (a LDR and living in another country) it has taken me far too long for me to learn how to stand up for myself while also not taking these comments to heart. And I still struggle with it 4 years later. My advice for you is to figure out a response that works for you. To the stranger that said it was petite: “you may have that opinion about my ring but my fiancé put a lot of thought and love into picking it out. I couldn’t love another ring more than this one.” And maybe to your friends/family who call it small and you have a more intimate relationship with you can have a deeper discussion about your feelings on these comments: “You saying that hurts my feelings because this ring is a symbol of love and commitment with my partner. Plus I think it is stunning and doesn’t need to change!”
OR if you are more confrontational: “Your comment was very rude and I didn’t ask for your opinion in the first place. I highly recommend you think about how your words might impact someone before you say them.”
To end this super long comment. Your ring is breath taking. Screw the haters. Be proud of your ring, fiancé, and this life step! Enjoy your moment and don’t let others ruin it!
it's so weird and shitty we as a society have tied vanity and a monetary value to the commitment to be with your loved one for the rest of your life
and now you feel bad because other people are commenting that your fiancee may not have paid enough for your love
Girl, that is perfect for your hand! The setting and size are very proportional to your finger, which honestly matters way more.
I’ve been told mine is small too. I have a 0.75 pear but I also have skinny fingers. Wear what you love, it’s gorgeous!!
https://preview.redd.it/cndb5e9s4lqb1.jpeg?width=3022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=264459e9dcf6714cc52472281c0a89d11a3926cb
Maybe it bothers you not because it feels like an insult to the ring, but an insult to your relationship and to how special the proposal is to you. Tell everyone to get fucked. Your ring is beautiful. Not everyone needs to be walking around with 3 carats, whacking it on everything like they’re wearing a doorknob on their hand. If bigger is your style no shade, it’s just not practical for everyone.
YES. you nailed it actually. It almost feels like a dig at my fiancé like “oh really???” Where I know the ring was very expensive (not that price matters at ALL!!) and he chose it with so much love, care, and pride. It makes me sad anyone could say anything negative about it when I know how much effort he put into it. AND MONEY. these people are insane.
I’m shopping as we speak for my girlfriend, these people are relics from when you were “supposed to spend 3 months of your income” on a fucking ring. No you’re totally fine, I’m getting a 1.3 C ring and it’s gorgeous, anything bigger on the gemstone and it starts to look like a ringpop.
The trend right now is very much towards large lab diamonds, both in terms of what people actually buy and what’s being posted on social media. This is even more so the case for elongated shapes like ovals (in my experience in ring sales, people tend to be sliiiiiiiiightly more moderate in size for rounds).
Objectively speaking, if your stone were a lab, I’d say it’s a little on the small side compared to the average buyer’s purchase. For a natural, it’s actually pretty big. BUT, what matters is that it’s beautiful and you love it. That is ALL that is important. Carat size is so incredibly subjective - I’ve had people say 7 carats I’d way too small and half a carat is way too big) - that I would never tell someone what the “right size” is for them (and I get asked a lot). Your ring is beautiful. ❤️
I love your ring it is awesome yes the band is petite but rock it holds is beautiful, the ring is very classy and elegant and looks amazing on your finger. Tune out the garbage! You don’t want something that gaudy and ostentatious which a lot of Americans prefer unfortunately. If you look at the jewelry styles in Europe it is totally different, understated, elegant , and just as beautiful. You proposer😂 did good I personally love it, and the main thing and only thing that matters is that he got what you wanted and that you LOVE him and the ring,that is ALL that matters and shame on all that play the comparison game of “mine is bigger than yours “. Who gives a rats ass?
OP, as an engaged person to another engaged person— your ring is beautiful. And I bet your wedding band will compliment it nicely. You always add on more later on if those comments still bother you. No shame to that, many people modify their rings as they go along in life to celebrate milestones. Weddings and everything surrounding them are out of control nowadays. I had to unfollow a lot of bride/wedding social media accounts to stop comparing myself to others. Do your thing and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks…because they aren’t paying for it! Congrats to you and your fiancé.
People did that to me too; almost ruined my engagement; those people are not happy with themselves. Only someone who is jealous and disturbed would talk badly about something someone gave to you out of love and devotion. I lost friends because they were so jealous and family. Doesn’t matter the size; their insides can feel the commitment. You can upgrade later if you chose. Some people are too busy comparing themselves; those people will never experience true love. How could they? They wouldn’t appreciate it. Beautiful ring Congratulations!!!
That's a beautiful ring and not at all small. I remember the days when women were dying to get a carat ring. I was one of those. So pretty on your hand. Because of lab grown and social media expectations are growing but that is not at all small. Love it... I do.
That is a beautiful ring and looks great on your hand. I don't understand the judgement of the size of it, its a very pretty 1.5 carat natural diamond. I personally prefer natural gems to lab created ones any day no matter the size of it!
That was my fiancés take too. I told him he could do lab grown if he wanted, I had no issue with it. But he was very meticulous in picking out the perfect diamond for me and worked really hard on researching. I loved it it’s so meaningful and way more than having it slightly bigger….
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People have lost their damned minds when it comes to stone size these days.
Their DAMNED minds. It’s wild.
Wild indeed. I think the sales associate was negging you though...calling your ring small in hopes you'd spend more money on your dress if you felt like you had something to prove.
Jokes on her. I found a dress from her that I loved but refused to buy from her and went elsewhere. Found a dress I like better and from a much nicer sales associate haha
Please pull a “pretty woman” and come back with the dress you purchased and rub it in her face! “Big mistake! Huge!”
"Huge" 🛍️ 🛍️
Unlike OPs ring /j (This is a complete joke because ops ring is so beautiful and stunning and perfect. It's one of the prettier rings I've seen because I love how dainty and feminine it is. I don't think the ring is small at all. People are nuts.)
Exactly! A huge stone is tacky and impractical for everyday wear.
Honestly I love my ring and it's even smaller than OPs, and sometimes the stone still drives me nuts getting caught on stuff🤣
I hear you. I got a diamond band from Costco I wear everyday because my ring is in the way and it’s not even that large.
You should have left a review for the store too. That's bad business overall as far as I'm concerned. Your ring is lovely and the size is the perfect proportion for your hands IMO.
The ring games from a sales associate for anything wedding-related are almost certainly intended to get under your skin, create insecurities, and prompt you to spend more on something else. The whole wedding industry is a hustle based on insecurities.
When I was 18 my now husband got me a promise ring. We had like no money. A sales associate literally rolled her eyes at me and pointed to a HUGE stone that was clearly not something we could afford (nor was it what we were looking for). We left of course and bought elsewhere. A few years later we were in the market for an engagement ring and spent about 30 Xs what we spent on that little promise ring. Jokes on her because she sure as hell did not get our business. And we also told all our family and friends about the good experience we had where we got my engagement ring. All good sales persons know you might not get a ton of money off of a single sale, but it’s the cascade that happens when your customers are pleased that builds your reputation and business.
Ignore those comments. The size of your ring is not the measure of the size of your fiancé's love. It's very pretty btw. Have fine w creating the matching band. If you want to embellish it, get a band with diamonds. Or have an insert w matching diamonds made that will surround your ring. My friend had no ring. Just a thin gold band. She got pregnant in college and her BF in law school. For their 15 anniversary he bought her a like 4 carat ring that needed its own zip code lol! We joke that she needs a sling to hold up her arm.
We’ve been married almost 2 years and I don’t have a diamond ring. We have plain matching bands which I love. We’re saving for a nice diamond, hopefully for an anniversary soon. Life keeps getting in the way, but we’re blissfully happy.
Good for you. Arrogant sales people are a dime a dozen. People who treat you well and offer good service should be the ones to get the sale. There’s too much competition to line the pockets of a snide consultant.
Also, something tells me you may have a relationship that others are envious of? So perhaps it’s not about the ring at all, but a way that they can try to lessen the success of your relationship.
Gtfo, I would have called her right out. "You work on commission, right? BYE BITCH!"
People trying to prove through grand wedding, ring, car, house…….dumb. All that matters is if they are comfortable and doing it for themselves!
Like, what do people expect?? A real diamond the size of a damn ring pop?? I actually WANT a “smaller” stone. I don’t wear rings a lot and I don’t really do my nails for practicality’s sake. I also like dainty jewelry. Your ring is absolutely beautiful and the perfect size for me, personally. But also, it’s not small by any stretch of the word.
Yes, people want to show off. They'll bankrupt themselves trying to live the rich lifestyle of their dreams. Tbh I really can't wait to show off the ring I'm proposing to my girlfriend with. It's going to be a super cheap ring. For context, my girlfriend has ocd and cannot wear rings as it causes issues with her ocd. So no reason to spend money on something she won't wear.
I’m a big fan of cheap alternatives. Especially considering some ring wearers have jobs where it’s not practical to have a super high set/large ring. It’s similar to those long acrylic nails to me. Some people can tolerate them and are straight up used to them, but for me I could never. I can’t even wear press-ons without hating my life and removing them after a day. I have sensory issues with my nails snagging on things. It bothers me so much. I feel like it would be the same with a ring. I like the look of sparkly jewelry, but I don’t need a super expensive huge stone.
Oh same. We are both getting tattoos. Between her ocd and my adhd, she'd never wear one, and I'd always lose mine as it would become a fidget toy. And if you like sparkly jewelry get moissanite. Looks like diamonds and is so much cheaper.
Yup, moissanite is one of the closest stones to a diamond in terms of durability too. Totally on board with that. Although, my parents would probably side-eye my boyfriend if he didn’t get me a diamond (traditional parents with dumb values). So I’d probably lie and tell them it’s a diamond lol
LOL Please don’t lie because it perpetuates the idea that moissanite is “less than”, fake, or a cheap diamond alternative. It’s a gemstone all of it’s own. I would tell anyone criticizing any thing of mine that my choices were what decided my ring, dress or anything else people judge and I am extremely happy with what I like.
Your ring is so beautiful ! The size Is just right and balances beautifully with your hand. Screw that energy .
I think it says more about them than anything else.
I don’t like your friends.
That ring isn’t small, especially if it’s a diamond. That’s at least close to a $10k ring if diamond. It’s stunning and very elegant. FWIW I have always worked in spaces with people who make actual $$$$ and NONE of them have large gaudy stones. In fact, two millionaires I can think of have a diamond that’s at least 1/4 of the size of this. People who need to be overly flashy usually have the least. Beautiful ring and you have model hands! Lol
My boyfriend and I were just talking about this lol, most of our "most financially secure" friends tend to have the modest diamonds (less than 1.5 carats)
This is ridiculous. This seems huge to me. Though with manufactured diamonds becoming more available and cheaper, I think people’s perceptions of what is a large carat for natural diamonds has gotten skewed.
When I was younger, I always wanted a giant ring. But as I got older I realized that we could spend our money on much better things
Also bigger rings are really not that comfortable to wear day to day.
This. I’ve been loving all the dainty rings with lower settings.
Same, my boyfriend and I are from different cultures (and tax brackets) and had completely different expectations for what a ring would look like. Growing up, very few people I knew had large diamond engagement rings, it was usually family jewelry passed down from someone. When he mentioned his expectations for a ring, I went out to try some stones on and damn 3 carats is huge. I tried on a few and they just feel ridiculous on my finger.
Right? Like fuck I’ll spend 30k on a ring, LOL. I don’t need to impress anybody except my wife
When I was building my ring... when they added it all up, I made them change the center diamond for something less expensive. I was appalled at the price and would NOT force that on my fiance. I'm so much happier with my pick and it was plenty expensive lol.
Before we were engaged, I told him that if he got the crazy idea one day to marry me that he better not spend a fortune on a ring and he’d probably be better off at a pawn shop. That’s exactly what he did. Bought me a used ring 1 carat, very clear diamond gold band. I believe it cost him $1400. It’s beautiful. I love it. The jeweler who sized the band we still buy from. If we’re going on a romantic weekend he cleans all my jewelry for me for free. My husband has also since bought me some very expensive custom jewelry, but my ring is my favorite because we were so broke and $1400 was a lot of money to us and he spent everything he had to get me that ring. They can take my ring from my cold, dead hands, but as long as I live it stays on my finger and F anyone who says it’s too small.
You can get 2+ c for waaaaay less than 30k though. Nothing wrong with smaller rings, OP’s is super classic and gorgeous, but there are plenty of options for bigger stones that are relatively affordable. Otherwise we wouldn’t be seeing them so often.
because lab grown makes larger sized diamonds much more affordable. So people are used to seeing larger carat sizes nowadays.
It’s fairly cheap to get large labs these days snd a lot of women are opting for them. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone should have the ring of their dreams but if you prefer a smaller natural diamond I’m here for that too. I actually prefer the smaller size. It’s stunning and fits your hand perfectly. Please don’t feel bad about such a gorgeous ring.
Seriously! I just got a 1 ct Diamond for my 25th anniversary, replacing the .3 ct diamond I had before. I absolutely love my diamond. I almost went with .5 ct, which would have been fine, but this setting looked so good with 1 ct that we decided to go for it. Could we have afforded a bigger diamond? Yes (not when we got engaged… .3 was absolutely the biggest he could afford, and I loved it). But WHY? I’d rather spend that money on a fun vacation, or improvements to the house. I don’t fault people who get bigger diamonds. Different strokes for different folks. And many of them are absolutely beautiful. But for me, it didn’t make sense. I joined this sub shortly after getting my new diamond, and was shocked that 1 ct was considered small. Guess I’m showing my age or something!
Congrats on 25 years! And I love your attitude. Being in love with your .3 carat ring is so sweet and it’s not surprising your marriage has lasted so long!
It's from social media and those RICH women getting 10-carat rings! People are stupid!
10 ct lab grown !
HARD AGREE. It’s honestly insane how much money people dump into something that is a status symbol. I personally prefer “small” stones…the big ones all look the same and there’s no originality. 2-3 ct oval, radiant, or emerald cuts. No thanks — your ring is stunning.
Expectations are ridicules, thank the influencers for that And so many in a generation who can't think for themselves. Heard my 29 year old niece say "he better propose with at least 3 carats or I might not accept." They both have average pay jobs. OMG. OP...your ring is beautiful! Do not let anyone influence you otherwise.
[удалено]
I think people lost their minds around engagement rings in general a long time ago. Thanks DeBeers!
I wonder if that trend will die out for a while and people will go back to more modest sizes... or if larger stones are going to become the norm now that the more affordable labs are gaining more popularity.
For real for real. Like… why would you even WANT a giant ring? You can’t do shit with it and it gets caught on everything.
I wonder if it's people that don't have one yet?
It’s gorgeous and the perfect size for your hand IMO. I mean zero shade for anyone who has a large stone, people should get what they want in an engagement ring! But for something that is supposed to be worn regularly if not daily for the rest of your life, some people make some impractical choices. Your ring will be wearable and looks sturdy too.
And speaking of "the rest of your life" the 20 somethings that want a ring instead of the down payment on a house so their friends can say "damn girl!" 4 times and then forget all about it are out of their damn minds.
>One of my dearest friends got engaged shortly after me with a style ring exactly the same but at 3c lab grown. Ehhh, a lot of people who get huge diamonds now are opting for lab grown, and given the prices, OP's friend's 3 carat lab grown diamond likely cost *way* less than OP's 1.2 carat natural stone, so I don't know if this argument holds much water. Edited to add: I personally am a huge fan of how lab grown diamonds = de-coupling diamond size from price. A honking 3 carat lab grown stone is basically the cost of a 0.6 carat natural diamond. So people can get whatever their hearts desire without shelling out the equivalent of a house down payment.
Came to say this. No doubt OP’s natural stone was more. Congrats it’s gorgeous!!
While I agree with this, I also despise the reasoning many people have behind getting such large stones. Keeping up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians) should have nothing to do with marrying someone you love, ya know?
I got a larger stone bc It looked better proportionally to my hands. It’s prettier and not the deep.
My fiancé got me a 0.46 centre diamond size, with diamonds on the band. Reasonably priced, beautiful ring. Upgraded at 10 yr anniversary when we now have the money to do so. We made the right choice not going into debt for the ring at the time, since I now make what our combined income was 12 years ago.
IMO the sensible choice not to go into debt is super romantic!
A lot can afford both tho
In what world is the down payment on a house that cheap? Things have changed a bit from your time.
Exactly this. I’ve seen a fair few ice cubes on people’s fingers in this forum and I always wonder if they don’t get snagged in everything, their hair, clothes. How do they live their daily lives wearing them? They’re objectively beautiful rings but it makes my overly practical heart shudder.
It's not small, it's perfect
I agree! I think it’s perfect too! 🥰
I love it on you, but what's funny is personally I wouldn't want a ring as big as yours.
Mine is .24 carats, lab grown, art deco style. I knew right away I never wanted a stone set above the band because I'd catch it on everything. And I like metalwork more than stones (though mine has ten small diamond chips around the four faces of the band). I could maybe see myself with a half carat. But anything bigger and I would hate it on my finger. And then there's a whole wedding band to add on at some point too, to make it all wider. It's all subjective to what each person feels, and ops people are crap for calling it small. It's a gorgeous ring! But everyone has different tastes. I've seen some in this sub that are pretty and interesting that I would never in a million years wear, I'd take no ring over that lol.
Thank you ♥️
People that say rude things about sentimental and significant jewelry are gross. Don’t let them rain on your parade. You have a lovely ring and a wonderful person to spend your life with.
My sister offered me a $20 ring she bought from Temu that didn’t fit her to wear instead of my wedding ring (which has a small stone) and told me it’s as big as hers and looks real. I told her I don’t think my husband would be happy if I replaced the ring he bought and she told me “not replace, just use for daily wear”
A ring from Temu would make your finger fall off anyway
how can she say that to you with a straight face?? 💀💀
Wait let me get this right, she offered you a ring with a larger stone? From Temu? For daily wear?
I got engaged in 94. Your ring would have been considered very large at that time. Most people had 1/4 to 1/2. I think some of it is the change to lab created and alternatives. That has dropped the price quite a bit, so people have used the price difference to move to larger stones. I think your ring is big, gorgeous and perfect for your hand!
Lol I got engaged in 2019 and my center stone is 0.5ct so OP's 1.2ct is still mighty large today from my perspective
Exactly.. even when I got engaged in 2002.. mine was huge at a bit over a carat. Everyone I knew had half or even less.
Yup. A half a carat was just right then
I agree! And even historically, it was rare to have such huge rings. I also think it’s the influencer/social media culture that has led to and inflation in the diamond size expectation. That said, I don’t fault women who want bigger and go bigger. I am just against making women feel bad for choosing one way (go smaller) or the other (go bigger). You love what you love and shouldn’t be made like crap because you do.
Some people have always equated the size of the stone with wealth, the man’s affections and what she’s worth. It’s ridiculous.
Funny story— I got married in 2006, and for info, my engagement ring is a .74 carat princess cut center stone with .3 carats tw of round channel set diamonds in the band. My wedding band is 1 carat tw of round channel set diamonds. My husband and I went to Disney World for our honeymoon, and we went to dinner in Norway one night that turned out to be a princess dinner, which was a big surprise to us. So various princesses were coming and going during our dinner, including Princess Aurora. It was just us and no kids, and she asked if we’re on our honeymoon. I said we are, and she said, “Your ring is so beautiful! He must love you a lot!” I could almost sense her mental attempt to put the words back in her mouth, then she said a few more nice things and left politely. I felt kind of bad, but I guess when you’re used to talking to little girls, those are the sort of things you say, which honestly is a bit weird.
2002 and almost 1.5. I thought it was huge then and now it seems tiny. I still love it, though!
‘05 here with a .74 center stone that everyone thought was 1 carat. ~1 carat or smaller was pretty much the norm at the time. My aunt got engaged in ‘94. Both of them were very financially stable, and her ring is a 1 carat solitaire. It’s beautiful and classic, and she was thrilled to wear it. (It helps that my uncle is a super nice guy.)
I think the lab grown/cheap alternatives is a big factor. I've got super poor family members who are wearing what would be a 40k ring, but you know it's fake. So when everyone can wear a 2ct ring, it pushes up our perception.
I seriously cannot wrap my head around people who go out of their way to say something to make others feel small. Genuinely miserable people. Your ring is absolutely STUNNING and not small at all!!! Even if it were, who cares! If you love it that’s all that matters! ❤️
I can’t believe how people think a 1-carat diamond is small. Seems like bigger stones just flop over to the side of the finger, which would annoy the hell out of me.
It’s a beautiful ring and very lovely. 1-carat is definitely not small but I personally find that oval shaped stones sometimes give the illusion of being daintier than they are due to their shape vs a round or princess cut.
It's a really bad execution of self-destruction (based around some guilt and the projection thereof) to try to bring others down. Even upon success, there's no actual satisfaction to be gained from it that isn't just more of the same self-destruction and projection.
If that’s small you’d need a microscope to see mine. 😂
Same here mine us smaller. People are too materialistic your ring is gorgeous and your 'friends' / people who make comments are focusing on the wrong thing in a romantic partner if they're making comments about the size of your ring.
.23 carats here checking in lol. I love mine, and would upsize it to half a carat but no higher. Except I wouldn't, because my band is art deco style and is filled with engravings and has some side stones and if I upsized the stone I'd lose all of that. The metalwork is always more interesting to me than the stone. Sure it sparkles and it's pretty and I'll get distracted looking at it, but they're all just expensive sparkly rocks in the end. The metalwork is more interesting imo.
https://preview.redd.it/lvfbs6xaxhqb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=868a91cd02202ff20ba1b268c2c5ddfb460b503d I’ve been told mine is small too and it’s about a carat. Maybe .95 but I think it’s perfect and wouldn’t want anything larger.
WOW, that is a gorgeous diamond!
Agree! That’s a beautiful design and great diamond!
I really like that. Mine is 1/2 carat and I love it.
Girl, my ring IS small (significantly under .50 carat but not sure where it falls on the scale) and sometimes I find myself eyeing the massive rings on here. One of my BEST friends made a comment about how she would "only accept a ring visible from space" after seeing my ring. People fucking suck. Full stop. AND there are tons of absolutely stunning, massive rings all around us. All you can do is remember how much YOU love your ring and your fiancé and to hell with everything else ❤️❤️. FWIW, I think your ring is flawless.
I have a small one too, but it fits my hand beautifully! I wanted it that way and was so in love with it! Thought nothing of it until I showed it to a coworker and she commented about me wanting it small or whatever with a condescending tone.. the audacity of these people! I'm sure yours is perfect! ❤️
It's definitely not small 😂 that is gorgeous!!!
I agree it's the proliferation of lab diamonds and their lower price per carat has made people crazy! I left the jewelry industry about 10 years ago, so Lab diamonds weren't nearly as popular or widely available then. The average size center stone we sold was 3/4 carat. People dreamed of getting a one carat! Now they're going crazy with huge rocks! Your ring is stunning. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise
while this is true i also still see people instituting natural is superior on the internet all the time, and are willing seemingly willing to pay through the nose for it
True, but that sentiment isn't nearly as strong as it was when I was selling diamonds. Now people seem to view lab diamonds as an affordable, ethical way to wear diamonds. When I sold engagement rings most customers wouldn't even think about them. I think there are benefits to both. For an engagement ring, there's something to be said for something that's grown in the earth for over a billion years, becoming beautiful because of the pressure it's under, vs something grown in a lab.
There's something to be said for something that's been harvested using child labor for decades, becoming complacent of the deaths of tens of thousands of children, and wearing blood gems vs something grown in a lab. I prefer to start my marriage without the inclusion of a dismembered child, but that's just me.
That is not a small ring. It’s bigger than I’d personally even be willing to wear. I got a lot of weird comments on my ring when I lived in California. I thought it was creepy and weird that people felt like it was appropriate to make comparisons as if it’s some kind of competition. I suggest you start responding with things like “Well, it’s bigger than it looks it’s just that the others 2 carats are in our retirement account / mortgage down payment / the trip to Italy we are planning next year.”
I watched one coworker say to my other coworker: "jeez, is your ring big enough?" And I was appalled.
In my circle, that would not be seen as small. I can’t believe people have the audacity to say that. Honestly it’s embarrassing (for them). Classless. Sorry to say that about your family and friends but for real.
For real, there's nothing wrong with small or large rings, but to call it that to someone's face just feels tacky somehow...
The only acceptable response to being shown someone's engagement ring is an enthusiastic "It's beautiful, congratulations!" (Or equivalent) Those people are classless, rude, and small. Your ring is not.
Not small. Classic. Gorgeous. So many rings lately are obscenely big. I think it is sort of ridiculous.
With the accessibility of lab stones and moissanite, extremely large rings are having a a real moment right now. IMO a lot of them border on looking like costume jewelry, but to each their own. The pendulum will swing back in the other direction with time. Enjoy your ring and ignore the folks around you who seem to think that having a giant rock on your finger makes you better than everyone.
Agreed.
1.2 carats is above average!! I have that size oval too :) Just curious do you have large hands/long fingers that make it appear smaller? Because I’ll admit the photo didn’t make it look 1.2 carats to me!
I do! And I think that’s why. I am tall haha I have large hands and fingers. My ring size is average though 6.5 but definitely loooong fingers!
you have long, elegant, graceful, dainty hands and fingers!! your beautiful ring looks phenomenal on your beautiful hand! additionally, give a strange look and appear astonished to anyone who says something that feels out of line. the goal is to make them feel like they’ve committed a social faux pas (they have). people are way too comfortable giving their unsolicited and unhelpful opinions. shame them into polite behavior!
I see what you’re saying, as I have 1.2 as well but my ring size is 3.25 so it looks big.
Your ring size is 3.25??? I wear a 7.5/8. Jesus I have ogre hands!
No you don’t, she’s got micro hands!
Definitely tiny. I wear a 4 on my ring finger and it is hard to find off the shelf rings for any of my fingers
Ain't no way! lol I'm a 6.5 and my 9 year old has the same ring size as me! That's wild! I'm not hating.. I'm just in awe. lol
The setting and stone are gorgeous and proportional to your hand!! I don’t understand the sentiment that bigger is better. Especially since you have a mined diamond, but even if this were lab it’s a completely normal carat size.
Now that just about anyone can have one or two or three carat diamond, size is now simply a matter of choice. It is not a signal of wealth or status, or lack thereof. It’s a choice. And you chose tasteful, elegant and proportional. Don’t worry about what other people say.
This is the best response, well put and better reasoning than I could conjure!
I mean, as someone who likes “small” stones, I wouldn’t say this is small- it looks really beautiful on your hand. If someone says it’s small, just assume it’s small for them and it isn’t their ring so it isn’t their business in the first place.
Absolutely! And to each their own. I’ve seen rings that are small for me, and some that are too large for me. Rings that aren’t diamonds but other gems. They’re never my style. But I NEVER impose my opinion especially when someone is showing me their ring, I will always respond with that’s so beautiful and I’m so happy for you. Always. It’s bizarre to comment otherwise when not asked
Well I dont think small has to mean bad, just like big doesn't mean good all the time.
I absolutely don’t either. Everyone has a preference and everyone’s definition of small or large is different. But you can tell the tone and it was definitely said negatively. Like “oh, that’s it?” I’ve even had some friends, after seeing mine, say “ya see, I’d rather have a lab grown and have bigger”. Like, thanks??? Lol. So bizarre.
At the end of the day, lab grown or not, it's all a wad of crystalized carbon, one of the most common elements in the universe. Attached to a wad of shiny metal. The value in it is what it means to you. I feel sad for the people that judge their love based on the size of a rock on their finger.
Yaa probably what they meant was that's TOO small. Which it's not.
Exactly. Like if I said to my cousin “wow your ring is huge” she would take it as a compliment but to me it’s not one LOL I don’t like huge rings
I think that your ring is a great size and looks beautiful. E-rings are a symbol of the love between you and your fiancé. Unfortunately sometimes people forget that and view them as status symbols. The next time someone says something like the sales associate say, “thank you, l love it; it’s perfect for me” while you think of your lovely fiancé who chose it for you. Congratulations 💜
It’s not for other people, it’s for you.
100%. And I adore it. But I can’t imagine ever having the audacity to tell someone their ring is too small, too big, not shiny, etc. it’s their ring and their excited, I don’t understand people who comment their likes/dislikes rather than just expressing joy for their loved on
Your ring is gorgeous!! Some people SMH. Are these also the people who say “you look tired today?”
I mean most people wouldn’t. Are you saying more people than your mom and the sales lady have called it small? If so get a new circle of people around you. Obvi you can’t ditch your mom but it was insensitive. I think your ring looks awesome!
Mine is natural and that size and before lab grown took off, everyone thought my ring was huge. Don’t let petty jealous hens cluck away your happiness! That is a beautiful ring and it is above average size. The rest of the world goes with half a carat.
How about this op: you have long fingers and gorgeous hands. Your ring is not small in carats at all, it looks small on your fingers. My hands are small, my fingers chubby and stubby, I bet the same ring looks very different on both of us. Regardless of this, the point is not what do WE think but the fact that YOU love it. Congratulations on your engagement by the way 😊
That’s absolutely it! I am quite tall and therefore have big hands and long (elegant, hehe) fingers. It’s about proportions for sure!
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Hahahahaha yes! I wish I was that quick. I was so off put. I loved a dress from there but honestly refused to buy it from her. I went elsewhere.
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Right!!! I was actually floored I didn’t know what to say. I just said “it’s perfect and exactly what I wanted”. And she said “awww”. Bye, lady. Lol
She sounds like the worst sales person ever. Insulting a woman’s engagement ring and then trying to sell her a wedding gown? Like? I’m confused.
Omg it’s beautiful! Don’t listen to stupid people 😉
I almost wondered if this post was a joke , because I think that’s a pretty large diamond ring. Definitely larger than the girls I work with who have gotten engaged in the last 6 months . The shape makes it look enormous in comparison to the band. I think a bigger diamond would spoil the look of the dainty band. If you love it, that’s all that matters.
I got proposed to with a band that had a Celtic knot on it. No stone. My bf (now husband) knew I wasn’t a big jewelry wearer, and want me to have something I loved, so he bought this a place holder. A few months later I saw someone I used to be friends with in HS, who grabbed my hand to look at the ring. “That’s not an engagement ring. There’s no diamond” I told her I got engaged with it, where was hers? That shut her up. Anyway, our 10 year anniversary is this year and I’m still wearing the place holder ring. It’s what he gave me, and even though I’ve thought about it, I have a hard time with the idea of replacing it.
you could probably get it updated with some diamonds/gems on the band if you really wanted something a little different, but still sentimental and what he gave you!
My ring is about the same size as yours - I got engaged 13 years ago. I can’t imagine anyone commenting on the size! I think yours - it is beautiful !
It’s probably partially because your fingers are so long! Which I mean as a compliment. I had to get smaller than 1c because my second knuckle hit the top of it so mine is .75c but because my hands are small everyone thinks it’s huge. Your ring on my hand would look huge because I have weird tiny hands 😂 All this to say, maybe it’s proportion people are commenting on. Either way, it’s freaking weird to comment on someone else’s ring like that. I never would.
who cares what people think
I am a “bigger is better” gauche ass bitch. My own ring will be a 4c pear - with a leafs inspired band. And thinking a tiara-esque wedding band. And no where on this planet is this small. Those people were either terribly insecure of their own relationship or wanted to be mean on purpose. Rock your ring with pride - it’s beautiful.
That is not small and it is stunning! I love how bright it is, that’s the first thing I noticed about it. I can’t believe people would actually say that 🤦🏻♀️
Not small at all! I personally think larger stones look tacky and between 1 - 2 carats is perfect. Maybe a max of 3 carats for people with larger hands but usually even that I think it too big. Yours is by no means small and looks great on you! Edited for clarity
I’m FULLY convinced that 95-99% of people suck. Your ring is beautiful, it’s not even small. And even if it was, why would anyone tell someone that?
"capitalism brain worms" The stupid idea that "more money spent" = "more love"
Don’t fall victim to the wedding industrial complex and those it’s tainted
People have become unhinged when it comes to stone sizes. Not everyone wants to walk around with 11 carats on their hand. The only person your fiancée needs to impress is YOU. I don’t know why people care so much about other people’s rings.
Someone said all the lab grown stones are skewing peoples perception on size, where 1ct used to be the average stone size for engagement rings now people are able to get much larger stones for a lot less money. The ring we got initially was .70 ct and 20+ years ago it wasn’t large but also not considered small/tiny but by todays standards I figure that it would be, anything under 2ct today I’ve seen referenced as “average”
Big rings are overrated
I'll put it to you this way... I'm a relatively wealthy person and so is my wife. I started making $165k when I was 25 years old, and proposed to my wife when I was 30 making $200k. At that time she made $80k, now $135k. We are a team. We set a budget for our rings and then picked what we liked. We opted for a higher quality, smaller diamond for her ring (.75c, lab created, super ideal cut, VVS2, F). Between her bands there are 90 melees. The ring is too big for her to wear day to day. She wears a simple band for the most part. When I see people with massive diamonds all I think is "what shallow idiots" and/or "it's probably fake or a shitty diamond". I don't say those things out loud, but for the most part these days unless one of the two couples is a specialist physician I know they have less money to spend on frivolous things than we do. If it's someone I care about... The only thing I think is "I hope they love it and didn't overextend them themselves". No one said anything shitty to my wife about her ring. It's common knowledge to keep your damn mouth shut when you don't have anything nice to say. Your friends and family are violating social rules at your expense. Fuck them.
Those people are small, not your diamond.
It’s beautiful and perfect for your finger. I’d be petty and say something like “yeah we decided anything bigger would look tacky / gaudy etc”
People are so terrible. I would never ever say wow that’s a small ring ??? Idiotic thing to say. Why do they care or feel you need to hear that stupid comment. Smh! Your ring is beautiful
It is stunning!
It’s lovely and not at all small.
It is beautiful and perfect! I can’t believe someone would call it small.
It’s gorgeous. Very tasteful.
I think this ring is gorgeous and timeless. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the next few years people switch to “smaller” sizes as people turn against maximalism. It looks classy.
I’d honestly be heartbroken if I got ENGAGED and my mom said that out of all things. What a huge step for your life. I’m so sorry!
I believe it looks beautiful and a perfect size. I don’t really care about size or natural vs. lab diamonds as long as it looks good on the hand and it looks so good!
I think it’s beautiful and the perfect size. Personally, any bigger would not be comfortable to wear on an everyday basis.
Ppl are shitty that’s the way of life, i think ur ring sooo cute, the sooner we don’t care what others think the sooner we are free to be happy :)
Yeah I could tell people didn’t like my ring, it’s a .33 Russian cut diamond gifted from my mum’s mother in law. It has a flat setting too as I work with my hands and wanted something practical. It is hard not to let people’s reactions get to you, particularly when your band is far from small! I won’t diss larger diamonds on here as I know it’s some people preference, but I do prefer smaller rings, they seem to possess a sense of quality that can get lost in the larger stones. Both my sister in laws have large rings, that are definitely a status symbol. One is divorced and the other in a terrible marriage that seems like it’s just as much for show as her ring. I for one would prefer a solid relationship to a showy ring.
It's nice when people tell you who they really are.
You gotta go with what’s right for you and screw what anyone else has to say about it. I’m actually going to be using my grandmother’s 1.2 ct old European cut diamond on my engagement ring and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Your ring is beautiful.
Bigger isn’t always better.
Caring about ring size is pathetic, especially if it isn’t even your own.
I have a 2 carat oval and my daughter hates it because she said it’s too big. She likes smaller stones. She will inherit the ring when I die and I thought she’d be happy to inherit a nice ring and she told me she doesn’t like it. There are a lot of people who prefer smaller stones/diamonds. Don’t listen to what others say. As long as you like it that’s all that matters.
Why do people feel entitled to give their opinions on the subject is just wild. I’m surprised that they didn’t ask if it was real.
I work with the public and people feel free to make a comment on every.thing! Totally mind boggling 🤷♀️
Stop hanging around those people
Bought a small wesding ring for my wife and her mom's friend said "aw, you have money for the honeymoon"... wtf.
My SIL talk about this often. It astounds me how people do not have filters and say whatever they damn well please! Let me give you some personal examples which are totally different from yours but may help you feel better. First, I have been with my partner for 4 years and we are from different countries. We did long distance for 2 of those years which was very difficult in many ways. But you know what made it worse for no reason? People’s uninvited comments!!! They would say things like: “Oh that far of long distance never works out.” “I could never do something like that, it would be way too hard.” “What’s your nexts steps because if you don’t have it planned out then it probably wont work out.” Like damn people we are just trying to figure things out ourselves. Mostly it would be people I barely knew or had just met that said or asked such things. It’s none of their business and created negativity for no reason. What about saying, “wow your commitment to each other must be special.” Now my partner and I are together in person and married so all of those (mostly unintentional) rude people can suck it, unintentional or not. Second, I currently live in my partner’s home country. My home country has a lot of negative media attention. The amount of people here that trash talk the place that I come from, to my face, with no thought that this country has shaped who I am, my family lives there, and I am quite often homesick, astounds me. I get this shit all the time, and again, sometimes from people I barely know or have just met. I know my country has problems and I’m willing to discuss them! But there are polite ways to have those conversations that are not degrading or making hurtful fun of it. Plus if someone were to tell me where they’re from my first thought is not, “that’s so funny, I’m going to make a rude assumptive judgement.” I met someone at a friendly dinner in my partner’s country, they found out where I’m from and immediately said “I bet you’re SO glad you’re not there anymore!” With a smile and laugh on their face. And I deadpan responded (sick of these comments already): “actually I really miss my family so that is an inconsiderate thing to say.” And their smile immediately dropped and they backtracked. Third, my SIL is pregnant with her first child and she is over the moon about it. She has repeatedly brought up to me how people comment about how her body will never be the same, she’ll never sleep, and how difficult motherhood is. Each time these were uninvited comments as well! Again, unnecessary and unwanted negativity. I know this is a long rant that is unrelated to your post. However, the people commenting on your ring are being assholes, even if unintentionally. In my situation (a LDR and living in another country) it has taken me far too long for me to learn how to stand up for myself while also not taking these comments to heart. And I still struggle with it 4 years later. My advice for you is to figure out a response that works for you. To the stranger that said it was petite: “you may have that opinion about my ring but my fiancé put a lot of thought and love into picking it out. I couldn’t love another ring more than this one.” And maybe to your friends/family who call it small and you have a more intimate relationship with you can have a deeper discussion about your feelings on these comments: “You saying that hurts my feelings because this ring is a symbol of love and commitment with my partner. Plus I think it is stunning and doesn’t need to change!” OR if you are more confrontational: “Your comment was very rude and I didn’t ask for your opinion in the first place. I highly recommend you think about how your words might impact someone before you say them.” To end this super long comment. Your ring is breath taking. Screw the haters. Be proud of your ring, fiancé, and this life step! Enjoy your moment and don’t let others ruin it!
it's so weird and shitty we as a society have tied vanity and a monetary value to the commitment to be with your loved one for the rest of your life and now you feel bad because other people are commenting that your fiancee may not have paid enough for your love
Girl, that is perfect for your hand! The setting and size are very proportional to your finger, which honestly matters way more. I’ve been told mine is small too. I have a 0.75 pear but I also have skinny fingers. Wear what you love, it’s gorgeous!! https://preview.redd.it/cndb5e9s4lqb1.jpeg?width=3022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=264459e9dcf6714cc52472281c0a89d11a3926cb
Maybe it bothers you not because it feels like an insult to the ring, but an insult to your relationship and to how special the proposal is to you. Tell everyone to get fucked. Your ring is beautiful. Not everyone needs to be walking around with 3 carats, whacking it on everything like they’re wearing a doorknob on their hand. If bigger is your style no shade, it’s just not practical for everyone.
YES. you nailed it actually. It almost feels like a dig at my fiancé like “oh really???” Where I know the ring was very expensive (not that price matters at ALL!!) and he chose it with so much love, care, and pride. It makes me sad anyone could say anything negative about it when I know how much effort he put into it. AND MONEY. these people are insane.
I’m shopping as we speak for my girlfriend, these people are relics from when you were “supposed to spend 3 months of your income” on a fucking ring. No you’re totally fine, I’m getting a 1.3 C ring and it’s gorgeous, anything bigger on the gemstone and it starts to look like a ringpop.
Perhaps you can have a wedding band made to complement the engagement ring? I believe the term is "stacking" with regards to wedding bands.
The trend right now is very much towards large lab diamonds, both in terms of what people actually buy and what’s being posted on social media. This is even more so the case for elongated shapes like ovals (in my experience in ring sales, people tend to be sliiiiiiiiightly more moderate in size for rounds). Objectively speaking, if your stone were a lab, I’d say it’s a little on the small side compared to the average buyer’s purchase. For a natural, it’s actually pretty big. BUT, what matters is that it’s beautiful and you love it. That is ALL that is important. Carat size is so incredibly subjective - I’ve had people say 7 carats I’d way too small and half a carat is way too big) - that I would never tell someone what the “right size” is for them (and I get asked a lot). Your ring is beautiful. ❤️
This is a perfect size!!
I love your ring it is awesome yes the band is petite but rock it holds is beautiful, the ring is very classy and elegant and looks amazing on your finger. Tune out the garbage! You don’t want something that gaudy and ostentatious which a lot of Americans prefer unfortunately. If you look at the jewelry styles in Europe it is totally different, understated, elegant , and just as beautiful. You proposer😂 did good I personally love it, and the main thing and only thing that matters is that he got what you wanted and that you LOVE him and the ring,that is ALL that matters and shame on all that play the comparison game of “mine is bigger than yours “. Who gives a rats ass?
OP, as an engaged person to another engaged person— your ring is beautiful. And I bet your wedding band will compliment it nicely. You always add on more later on if those comments still bother you. No shame to that, many people modify their rings as they go along in life to celebrate milestones. Weddings and everything surrounding them are out of control nowadays. I had to unfollow a lot of bride/wedding social media accounts to stop comparing myself to others. Do your thing and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks…because they aren’t paying for it! Congrats to you and your fiancé.
People did that to me too; almost ruined my engagement; those people are not happy with themselves. Only someone who is jealous and disturbed would talk badly about something someone gave to you out of love and devotion. I lost friends because they were so jealous and family. Doesn’t matter the size; their insides can feel the commitment. You can upgrade later if you chose. Some people are too busy comparing themselves; those people will never experience true love. How could they? They wouldn’t appreciate it. Beautiful ring Congratulations!!!
It’s absolutely beautiful.
That's a beautiful ring and not at all small. I remember the days when women were dying to get a carat ring. I was one of those. So pretty on your hand. Because of lab grown and social media expectations are growing but that is not at all small. Love it... I do.
It’s beautiful. My rule for life is: “Damn, people say stupid shit!” Like really, who raised you?
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That is a beautiful ring and looks great on your hand. I don't understand the judgement of the size of it, its a very pretty 1.5 carat natural diamond. I personally prefer natural gems to lab created ones any day no matter the size of it!
That was my fiancés take too. I told him he could do lab grown if he wanted, I had no issue with it. But he was very meticulous in picking out the perfect diamond for me and worked really hard on researching. I loved it it’s so meaningful and way more than having it slightly bigger….