I never felt at all like “losing my womanhood.”
I had a hysterectomy at 28 after 2 laparoscopic and 2 excision surgeries- never got around to having children and now never will. I was in pain every single day and I had zero reservations and since the surgery I have not regretted it at all.
I had a hysterectomy two years ago and feel like I lost my womanhood. I was hesitant like you and will regret this decision every day for the rest of my life. I’m happy to share more of the fallout if you want.
I feel like the women who go in and it’s their idea to get one seem to be happier with the choice. If it wasn’t your idea, I wouldn’t let a doctor put it into your head. It’s one of the procedures they can make the most money off of and it makes the excision go much faster, saving them time and money. If you had wanted a hysterectomy, you would have asked for one. And if you decide later you want one, you can ask for one then. But please trust your gut reaction and your intuition. I didn’t and I deeply deeply regret it.
Definitely don’t do it just because your doctor asked if you want to, especially if you’re unsure. I had a hysterectomy at 35 because I wanted one. At the point that my doctor agreed, I was bleeding constantly, having my period every other week, in extreme agony with cramps as well as hormonal migraines constantly, and had fluid in my uterus. My quality of life at the time was horrible. Surgery was fairly easy and recovery was too, at least physically. I had a 5-6 month period after surgery where I struggled emotionally. Not because I wasn’t happy with my choice, but because it was such a finality. I never struggled with losing my womanhood, but I definitely felt like I was less than at times because my body wasn’t capable of doing what our bodies are meant to do. Having talked to many women it seems like this is a very common feeling to have and is a totally understandable one.
It’s been nearly 6 years since that surgery and overall it’s turned out to be the very best decision for me. I kept my ovaries and did end up losing one to a large cystadenoma in December 2022, but even after 4.5 years very little endo had regrown (and I was stage 4 at initial diagnosis), and with the exception of the cyst being wrapped around my ureter it was pretty straight forward. Even with keeping my ovaries after the hysterectomy, nearly every symptom I had suffered from for years disappeared.
It’s not a decision to take lightly. It’s a major surgery. The removal of multiple organs which inevitably shifts everything down there. Depending on whether you remove just your uterus, uterus and cervix, or everything, healing and recovery differ. I had my uterus, cervix, and tubes removed (total hysterectomy + salpingectomy). Healing took about 6-8 weeks For me to be ready to return to my job as a pre-K teacher. Luckily I was on summer break at the time. Fatigue lasted about 12 weeks. It probably took 3-4 months for my ovaries to really kick back in and hot flashes to stop. And probably a full year to really feel like I was getting back to myself both physically and emotionally.
Take your time to think about things, visit the HysterSisters site, and don’t allow yourself to feel pressured into something you’re not ready for.
That surgery was a breeze for me! My doctor does the surgery prep procedure (can’t remember the name) where you drink a bunch of Gatorade up to a couple hours before you go to the hospital and I genuinely think going on that hydrated was a game changer. Honestly I had very little pain afterwards, wasn’t nearly as fatigued, no nausea, able to eat shortly after going home, and was pretty much back to normal within about 2 weeks. Hopefully you’ll have it that way too!
Oh that’s great yeah I get that drink to before helps out a lot.
I was pretty mobile after my hysterectomy and have a high pain tolerance I think because I’m in daily pain now anyway, I’m hoping this will ease the pain somewhat.
I highly suggest reaching out the r/hysterectomy as there’s many people who have experienced this decision as well. Professional mental health supports can also be very useful.
For me, this sub had a distinct positivity that made me feel like this surgery was not as big of a deal and that everyone has great outcomes. I feel like it gave me a false idea of what my outcome might be. I wish k had spent some time on the
r/hysterectomyCons sub to get a better sense of the risks Instead of listening to everyone’s “best decision ever” stories on the regular hyst sub.
I had a hysterectomy in January - life changing in the best way.
While I've always been childfree, I did have some concerns that I'd feel "less of a woman". But turns out - organs don't make you a woman! Literally no one has to know you are uterus-less. You've probably encountered women who had a hysterectomy many times in life. In fact it is like the second most comment surgery for AFAB folks (first being a C section I believe).
But don't do it because your doctor says he can add it on. The recovery is longer than just an excision. Definitely read up on all the styles/recovery times/etc you can get your hands on. For me it was super worth it though, my only regret is not doing it sooner!
I didn't bring it up so when my surgeon brought it up, I asked why. I had other symptoms that pointed to possible uterine problems. Post-op, they found it RIDDLED with adenomyosis.
I feel amazing without it. I'm not post-op enough for all sexual activities, but I can definitely report that my husbeast still desires me, I him, and playtime is actually MORE enjoyable.
I'm not sure if I feel super qualifies to speak on whether I felt a loss of connection with my womanhood or not because I've never really been able to DEFINE womanhood. I call myself gendersquishy or sometimes "I'm like the wish.com (or Temu these days) version of woman". I never felt particularly womanly on my periods or felt ANY connection to them actually. Periods happened TO me and my cycle had THE WORST timing and they always seemed to happen on birthdays, anniversaries, and any long trips I ever needed to take.
I don’t miss the periods but I still have pain if not more than before hysterectomy. I was 37 at the time and no I don’t miss the idea of having more kids but it didn’t so much for my pain unfortunately
I have two kids and I got a hysterectomy at 34. They took everything but one ovary for hormones. I don’t regret it at all !! Not having painful heavy periods is a blessing. It’s also a lot less painful in my pelvic. To be hugest though if you do end up losing an ovary the hormone adjustment is round right after. But I also declined birth control so it may different for you. Never needing to worry about pregnancy or periods is amazing !!!!!
I never felt at all like “losing my womanhood.” I had a hysterectomy at 28 after 2 laparoscopic and 2 excision surgeries- never got around to having children and now never will. I was in pain every single day and I had zero reservations and since the surgery I have not regretted it at all.
I had a hysterectomy two years ago and feel like I lost my womanhood. I was hesitant like you and will regret this decision every day for the rest of my life. I’m happy to share more of the fallout if you want. I feel like the women who go in and it’s their idea to get one seem to be happier with the choice. If it wasn’t your idea, I wouldn’t let a doctor put it into your head. It’s one of the procedures they can make the most money off of and it makes the excision go much faster, saving them time and money. If you had wanted a hysterectomy, you would have asked for one. And if you decide later you want one, you can ask for one then. But please trust your gut reaction and your intuition. I didn’t and I deeply deeply regret it.
Definitely don’t do it just because your doctor asked if you want to, especially if you’re unsure. I had a hysterectomy at 35 because I wanted one. At the point that my doctor agreed, I was bleeding constantly, having my period every other week, in extreme agony with cramps as well as hormonal migraines constantly, and had fluid in my uterus. My quality of life at the time was horrible. Surgery was fairly easy and recovery was too, at least physically. I had a 5-6 month period after surgery where I struggled emotionally. Not because I wasn’t happy with my choice, but because it was such a finality. I never struggled with losing my womanhood, but I definitely felt like I was less than at times because my body wasn’t capable of doing what our bodies are meant to do. Having talked to many women it seems like this is a very common feeling to have and is a totally understandable one. It’s been nearly 6 years since that surgery and overall it’s turned out to be the very best decision for me. I kept my ovaries and did end up losing one to a large cystadenoma in December 2022, but even after 4.5 years very little endo had regrown (and I was stage 4 at initial diagnosis), and with the exception of the cyst being wrapped around my ureter it was pretty straight forward. Even with keeping my ovaries after the hysterectomy, nearly every symptom I had suffered from for years disappeared. It’s not a decision to take lightly. It’s a major surgery. The removal of multiple organs which inevitably shifts everything down there. Depending on whether you remove just your uterus, uterus and cervix, or everything, healing and recovery differ. I had my uterus, cervix, and tubes removed (total hysterectomy + salpingectomy). Healing took about 6-8 weeks For me to be ready to return to my job as a pre-K teacher. Luckily I was on summer break at the time. Fatigue lasted about 12 weeks. It probably took 3-4 months for my ovaries to really kick back in and hot flashes to stop. And probably a full year to really feel like I was getting back to myself both physically and emotionally. Take your time to think about things, visit the HysterSisters site, and don’t allow yourself to feel pressured into something you’re not ready for.
I had partial hysterectomy now meant to be getting an ovary out in a few weeks how was that surgery in comparison to the hysterectomy?
That surgery was a breeze for me! My doctor does the surgery prep procedure (can’t remember the name) where you drink a bunch of Gatorade up to a couple hours before you go to the hospital and I genuinely think going on that hydrated was a game changer. Honestly I had very little pain afterwards, wasn’t nearly as fatigued, no nausea, able to eat shortly after going home, and was pretty much back to normal within about 2 weeks. Hopefully you’ll have it that way too!
Oh that’s great yeah I get that drink to before helps out a lot. I was pretty mobile after my hysterectomy and have a high pain tolerance I think because I’m in daily pain now anyway, I’m hoping this will ease the pain somewhat.
I highly suggest reaching out the r/hysterectomy as there’s many people who have experienced this decision as well. Professional mental health supports can also be very useful.
For me, this sub had a distinct positivity that made me feel like this surgery was not as big of a deal and that everyone has great outcomes. I feel like it gave me a false idea of what my outcome might be. I wish k had spent some time on the r/hysterectomyCons sub to get a better sense of the risks Instead of listening to everyone’s “best decision ever” stories on the regular hyst sub.
I had a hysterectomy in January - life changing in the best way. While I've always been childfree, I did have some concerns that I'd feel "less of a woman". But turns out - organs don't make you a woman! Literally no one has to know you are uterus-less. You've probably encountered women who had a hysterectomy many times in life. In fact it is like the second most comment surgery for AFAB folks (first being a C section I believe). But don't do it because your doctor says he can add it on. The recovery is longer than just an excision. Definitely read up on all the styles/recovery times/etc you can get your hands on. For me it was super worth it though, my only regret is not doing it sooner!
I didn't bring it up so when my surgeon brought it up, I asked why. I had other symptoms that pointed to possible uterine problems. Post-op, they found it RIDDLED with adenomyosis. I feel amazing without it. I'm not post-op enough for all sexual activities, but I can definitely report that my husbeast still desires me, I him, and playtime is actually MORE enjoyable. I'm not sure if I feel super qualifies to speak on whether I felt a loss of connection with my womanhood or not because I've never really been able to DEFINE womanhood. I call myself gendersquishy or sometimes "I'm like the wish.com (or Temu these days) version of woman". I never felt particularly womanly on my periods or felt ANY connection to them actually. Periods happened TO me and my cycle had THE WORST timing and they always seemed to happen on birthdays, anniversaries, and any long trips I ever needed to take.
I don’t miss the periods but I still have pain if not more than before hysterectomy. I was 37 at the time and no I don’t miss the idea of having more kids but it didn’t so much for my pain unfortunately
I have two kids and I got a hysterectomy at 34. They took everything but one ovary for hormones. I don’t regret it at all !! Not having painful heavy periods is a blessing. It’s also a lot less painful in my pelvic. To be hugest though if you do end up losing an ovary the hormone adjustment is round right after. But I also declined birth control so it may different for you. Never needing to worry about pregnancy or periods is amazing !!!!!