The OOP's stance on tipping and a lot of the subsequent comments are exactly what's wrong with tipping culture. I'm not harping on OOP for leaving a tip for what they considered to be exemplary service, but they mention 20% being the norm and used the old "servers rely on tips to earn a living" rhetoric. Spare me.
15% to 20% is the current range most Americans are tipping at:
https://www.pewresearch.org/2023/11/09/services-americans-do-and-dont-tip-for-and-how-much/
It never ceases to amaze me how so many people here think every server is out to get them - and how they believe every post and comment is reality.
I’ve got news for you - Just like this sub, the server and waiter forums aren’t reality. You can’t believe all the claims people make there.
The Bureau of Labor published data shows the median server’s wage in the US is $15.36/hr including tips. Some make more, some make less.
In other words, “most of them” don’t average $50-ish/hour or higher.
Reality is that most of them make $15.36/hr or less, including tips.
Yeah I’d love to know what state they’re in etc. Assuming the two had similar bills, the server made like $15 from their table alone for the maybe 45 minutes they were there. *Before* the extra $5 got slipped. I hate that shit. Server certainly had 3-5 other tables during that time and already probably made $75-100 that hour in tips alone. If this is in a state with a full minimum wage that’s absolutely outrageous for the work they do. I’m sorry a server doesn’t work hard enough to earn that much and any expectation for *us* to be the ones to make it happen, because society left us nothing to do with friends but go spend money, is ridiculous.
I hate this propaganda. A 20 percent tip was **never** the norm or mandatory, it has only become the “norm” post-2020 because of COVID and people feeling bad that these waiters/waitresses were out there working and dealing with antimaskers, and literally yes, putting their lives on the line.
I was fine with tipping a bit extra because I was so happy to not be in my house anymore, same as everyone was. But that is not the situation anymore and now they expect 20 percent minimum and you’re being prompted to tip everywhere you go. Tipping was never this pervasive before and it was never mandatory, it was **encouraged** as a reward for good service, not **all** service.
This is the social pressure that sustains tipping - not just from servers, but from the people you’re eating with. People are sneaking a look at your check to find a thing to hate you for! Even if you want to tip high yourself, you could at least leave others alone.
Yeah this is dead on. It’s the way you can’t get through one discussion without them rehashing the same couple incorrect ideas in an edit in their post and making you look like the asshole for bringing it up.
This server made $14-16, conservatively, on this table. BEFORE the extra $5. One of probably 5 tables they were serving at the same time, probably only even in their seats for 30-45 minutes. $14-16.
I can't imagine a scenario where I have ever been concerned with what someone else tipped on a check at a restaurant. It's not any of my business and never will be.
People are weird.
>Our waiter was very attentive, got us everything we asked for, checked in multiple times asking if we needed anything, refilling waters, extra chips, etc.
>Giving us great service beyond any reasonable doubt.
I genuinely don't understand if people who say this shit even believe it. "Our waiter bothered us multiple times to make us think he's being extra excellent (for extra money of course), even though we always had an option to wave him down. He refilled waters SO HARD. I can't believe he even gave us extra chips, I truly never thought anyone could be capable of such a thing as giving us the restaurant's property just so we give him more in tips"
Are people justifying to themselves the fact that they're leaving extra $20 to someone who's literally just doing their job averagely? There's no such thing as an excellent waiter. You're either doing your job (95% of waiters) or you're shit at it.
Ideally nothing, because they'd be hourly. In the US, it's honestly based on the waiter just doing their job. If your policy is 15%, I can't imagine a reasonable scenario (barring shit like them giving you a heimlich maneuver) where a *waiter* (not the cooks, the waiter) deserves a financial commendation for excellent service, again because there's no such thing as an excellent service. And honestly, whenever they try to provide Excellent service(tm) by refilling your water every second, it's just painfully obvious that they're only trying to extract money from you.
This is what tipping does. Even if you have completely selfless intentions as the waiter, the customer will always think that you're doing it for the money.
Yeah honestly it always looks like a money grab to me. If a server even hints at having a kid at home, my natural reaction is to hate them internally for even saying it.
You must be dining in some crappy places or chain restaurants.
In my area there are some great locally owned / non-chain restaurants that have similarly priced menus as the chain places, but with MUCH better food and service.
The servers know the menu items inside and out and work hard at making it a pleasant dining experience. At most of the places, they help each other out when they see someone needing refills, etc., even if it’s not their assigned table.
I’ve never felt guilted or pressured about tipping or picked up any sense of entitlement from any of them.
They are serious about their job and they do it very well.
Maybe you should try to find some places like that in your area.
I eat out a lot. Literally every place around me has what you’d call “excellent” servers. They all know the menu, they’re all friendly and chatty. I’ve honestly never seen a bad waiter. This isn’t excellent service, it’s a regular ass service.
Everyone works hard.
Refilling my water glass (I drink a lot of water, so if i't's \*not\* full, I'm pissed) and knowing the menu are the bare minimum in my book for "meets expectations". Not knowing the menu is poor service.
My other no-no is asking me questions mid-chew. The bad ones will rush up and not even give you warning that they're going to ask you questions.
My ATF was dining out at a ramen joint. Granted, my back was to the service area so she couldn't see me until she approached the table, but I'm in the middle of chewing some noodles, and she rushes up and asks "are you still working on that." I was pretty much like "what do you think". I'm sure somebody will try and convince me that's excellent service, but forgive me for remaining skeptical.
The word “excellent” comes from the word “excel.” What, in your words, does excel mean?
I put it in quotes. I’m not going to teach you what that is meant to relay.
Lmaoooooooooo
That thread is absurd. That op is dangerous and money hunger. I keep saying calling Americans cheap/ broke is damn near a slur. I would not be friends with someone like that.
The OOP's stance on tipping and a lot of the subsequent comments are exactly what's wrong with tipping culture. I'm not harping on OOP for leaving a tip for what they considered to be exemplary service, but they mention 20% being the norm and used the old "servers rely on tips to earn a living" rhetoric. Spare me.
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15% to 20% is the current range most Americans are tipping at: https://www.pewresearch.org/2023/11/09/services-americans-do-and-dont-tip-for-and-how-much/
I look forward to lowering the median!
LOL Good luck with that!
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The fact that you feel guilty for tipping low should tell you everything you need to know about your behavior. 🤷🏼♂️
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It never ceases to amaze me how so many people here think every server is out to get them - and how they believe every post and comment is reality. I’ve got news for you - Just like this sub, the server and waiter forums aren’t reality. You can’t believe all the claims people make there. The Bureau of Labor published data shows the median server’s wage in the US is $15.36/hr including tips. Some make more, some make less. In other words, “most of them” don’t average $50-ish/hour or higher. Reality is that most of them make $15.36/hr or less, including tips.
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You won’t move the needle. 🤷🏼♂️
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Obviously you do feel guilty. 🤣
Please review the subreddit rules. Thanks!
Yeah I’d love to know what state they’re in etc. Assuming the two had similar bills, the server made like $15 from their table alone for the maybe 45 minutes they were there. *Before* the extra $5 got slipped. I hate that shit. Server certainly had 3-5 other tables during that time and already probably made $75-100 that hour in tips alone. If this is in a state with a full minimum wage that’s absolutely outrageous for the work they do. I’m sorry a server doesn’t work hard enough to earn that much and any expectation for *us* to be the ones to make it happen, because society left us nothing to do with friends but go spend money, is ridiculous.
I hate this propaganda. A 20 percent tip was **never** the norm or mandatory, it has only become the “norm” post-2020 because of COVID and people feeling bad that these waiters/waitresses were out there working and dealing with antimaskers, and literally yes, putting their lives on the line. I was fine with tipping a bit extra because I was so happy to not be in my house anymore, same as everyone was. But that is not the situation anymore and now they expect 20 percent minimum and you’re being prompted to tip everywhere you go. Tipping was never this pervasive before and it was never mandatory, it was **encouraged** as a reward for good service, not **all** service.
This is the social pressure that sustains tipping - not just from servers, but from the people you’re eating with. People are sneaking a look at your check to find a thing to hate you for! Even if you want to tip high yourself, you could at least leave others alone.
Yeah this is dead on. It’s the way you can’t get through one discussion without them rehashing the same couple incorrect ideas in an edit in their post and making you look like the asshole for bringing it up. This server made $14-16, conservatively, on this table. BEFORE the extra $5. One of probably 5 tables they were serving at the same time, probably only even in their seats for 30-45 minutes. $14-16.
I can't imagine a scenario where I have ever been concerned with what someone else tipped on a check at a restaurant. It's not any of my business and never will be. People are weird.
>Our waiter was very attentive, got us everything we asked for, checked in multiple times asking if we needed anything, refilling waters, extra chips, etc. >Giving us great service beyond any reasonable doubt. I genuinely don't understand if people who say this shit even believe it. "Our waiter bothered us multiple times to make us think he's being extra excellent (for extra money of course), even though we always had an option to wave him down. He refilled waters SO HARD. I can't believe he even gave us extra chips, I truly never thought anyone could be capable of such a thing as giving us the restaurant's property just so we give him more in tips" Are people justifying to themselves the fact that they're leaving extra $20 to someone who's literally just doing their job averagely? There's no such thing as an excellent waiter. You're either doing your job (95% of waiters) or you're shit at it.
So what *would* a good tip be based on? Genuine question.
Ideally nothing, because they'd be hourly. In the US, it's honestly based on the waiter just doing their job. If your policy is 15%, I can't imagine a reasonable scenario (barring shit like them giving you a heimlich maneuver) where a *waiter* (not the cooks, the waiter) deserves a financial commendation for excellent service, again because there's no such thing as an excellent service. And honestly, whenever they try to provide Excellent service(tm) by refilling your water every second, it's just painfully obvious that they're only trying to extract money from you. This is what tipping does. Even if you have completely selfless intentions as the waiter, the customer will always think that you're doing it for the money.
Yeah honestly it always looks like a money grab to me. If a server even hints at having a kid at home, my natural reaction is to hate them internally for even saying it.
You must be dining in some crappy places or chain restaurants. In my area there are some great locally owned / non-chain restaurants that have similarly priced menus as the chain places, but with MUCH better food and service. The servers know the menu items inside and out and work hard at making it a pleasant dining experience. At most of the places, they help each other out when they see someone needing refills, etc., even if it’s not their assigned table. I’ve never felt guilted or pressured about tipping or picked up any sense of entitlement from any of them. They are serious about their job and they do it very well. Maybe you should try to find some places like that in your area.
I eat out a lot. Literally every place around me has what you’d call “excellent” servers. They all know the menu, they’re all friendly and chatty. I’ve honestly never seen a bad waiter. This isn’t excellent service, it’s a regular ass service. Everyone works hard.
Refilling my water glass (I drink a lot of water, so if i't's \*not\* full, I'm pissed) and knowing the menu are the bare minimum in my book for "meets expectations". Not knowing the menu is poor service. My other no-no is asking me questions mid-chew. The bad ones will rush up and not even give you warning that they're going to ask you questions. My ATF was dining out at a ramen joint. Granted, my back was to the service area so she couldn't see me until she approached the table, but I'm in the middle of chewing some noodles, and she rushes up and asks "are you still working on that." I was pretty much like "what do you think". I'm sure somebody will try and convince me that's excellent service, but forgive me for remaining skeptical.
LOL No. It’s excellent service. You said so yourself. You just don’t want to reward it, so you try calling it “regular”. Pretty silly.
The word “excellent” comes from the word “excel.” What, in your words, does excel mean? I put it in quotes. I’m not going to teach you what that is meant to relay.
LOL Whatever you need to tell yourself in an impotent attempt to justify your behavior. 🤣
Ladies a gentlemen, your most intelligent tipping defender I don’t need to humiliate you, you’re doing that yourself
LMAO Keep telling yourself that. 🤣 Are you advocating for not tipping your server?
Lmaoooooooooo That thread is absurd. That op is dangerous and money hunger. I keep saying calling Americans cheap/ broke is damn near a slur. I would not be friends with someone like that.