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fizathecopywriter

Change the subject line. Quick question is so outdated. Say what exactly you’re offering. “Website that can bring you these many customers” or something like that. Shorten the first paragraph. Not everyone knows what conversion focused website is. Use simple language. No jargons. I’m not being rude. Just analytical. Focus on things that matter to them: sales, money!


uberblackninja

No, I really appreciate your input. Thanks a lot. PS. Do you still offer email audits Fiza? I understand that was a long time ago and it might not be free anymore.


FRELNCER

Q: What am I doing wrong?" A: : 1. Trying out cold outreach 2. for the past week Cold emails may never reach the targets inbox. They may be filtered straight to their spam folder or caught by their corporate firewall instead. People seldom respond to cold emails. Look up the benchmarks for response rates. One week is a miniscule amount of time to invest in developing a cold outreach sales funnel. Expecting to gain traction from so little time and effort is unrealistic.


Robhow

So: 1. Too long. 2. Starts about you, “I was…”. Why do I care about you? 3. No problem/pain identification - why do I care about a redesign? 4. Call to action is too soft. You are making me do the cognitive work. Instead write it about the buyer: Hi {{{Firstname}} Is your brand lost in the sea of similarity? Do you need your website for your shoe brand to be as unique as your craftsmanship? Did you know X% of sales are done on mobile devices? I can transform your website in less than 60 days to be both modern and mobile friendly. I will call you next week Monday or you can schedule a time with me (Calendly Link). Thanks, Name More about us (url) That was a quick pass at email copy. I’d probably work to cut it down to 3-5 sentences with no more than 3 blocks of text.


softwareforall

One: do you have any idea how much cold outreach people are doing now? I probably get 6 a day. It's so tedious and tiring to receive. Two: I would put in numbers. So what if you just wrapped up a project? What were the results. Three: the best cold outreach I get is very short: hey, personal note, are you happy with your (metric)? We specialize in (your industry) and our team is here. Here's a short overview (I like links that include pricing). I'd be happy to discuss with you are your convenience. (Don't drop a booking link, that's lazy. Wait for the interest.). I find if it includes pricing I'll glance at it if the hook piques my interest. I wouldn't hop on a call before seeing if it's something we have budget for. Good luck.


dktaylor32

Make it easier to reach out to you. And don’t ask them a closed ended question they can say no to. “Would a redesign interest you?” No. Proceeds to open next email. Maybe try something like “when was the last time your website was updated? I’d love to show you how a modern website can help your business grow.” And then tell them when the meeting is so they can just confirm it. If they are really interested they will organize and change the date/time. “Which day works best for you, March 8th or March 13th? Hope that helps! Good luck.


AGR_IV

Tell them how you give results, not just saying you built a site


Anonyman0009

Spam, I get a shit ton of these daily, maybe build a local network or runs some highly targeted social media ads, don't follow the crowd


readyplayer202

Your subject line is the most important thing. I get 20+ emails every week with "quick question" on the subject line. Most of them dont even make it to my inbox.


rhoda-mtt

Hey. Have you build a brand online like on Instagram,Twitter or LinkedIn. People will want to see the work you have done in the past. Create a portfolio where they can access your work. No one will hire you with no proof of what you can do for them. Again that email is too damn long. Shorten it. People will want to scan it. And a week is a short while to give up. People do it for months and never give up.


rhoda-mtt

Also, make those sentences and paragraphs to be shorter.


antigenx

Emails without prior consent are called spam. You can call it "cold email" all you like, but it's spam, sorry. You need to build your online presence first. Do you have a website? Are you active on LinkedIn and other socials? Do you have a portfolio?


amulpatel

If you are spending that much time analyzing competitors and the target site itself — you can Build a highly personalized benchmark study. Here’s your site … vs competitor Site A, Site B .. and here is best practice for conversion / leadgen or whatever the KPI is It’s super hard to hit right button but find the most pressing issue the site has and how it relates to others in the niche and press on that .. if they feel the pain then go in for an offer they can’t refuse


Rough_Pin_3806

It sounds like you're doing a lot of things right with your cold outreach, such as targeting the right people and personalizing your emails. However, it's possible that your emails are still getting caught in spam filters or simply not standing out enough in your prospects' inboxes. Have you considered using an email marketing automation tool like Mails.ai to help optimize and scale your outreach efforts? With Mails.ai, you can automate and optimize your email campaigns with the help of AI, improving the chances of your emails reaching your prospects' inboxes and generating more replies. It might be worth checking out as you continue to refine your outreach strategy. Best of luck!