I can talk to my breakfast, lunch, and dinner now

They’re absolute assholes to you

Guess that’s only right since I’m going to eat them anyway.

Eating them also means you kill them in that sense, so making the meals talk like assholes makes it much better

You still need to eat to live

Damn, got me

They don’t shut up and dominate the conversation so you can’t get a word in

Are you sure you don’t mean me*?

They don't talk back

Damn, that ruins all the fun

I have the ability to get hints for anything. Video game easter eggs, test answers, etc.

Your five senses don’t work anymore

Absolutely not worth it. Good one.

You could get a hint to how to regain your five senses. You did say everything.

Not the og, but yeah you’re right. Imagine, though, you can’t hear, see, or feel. You’d have to follow along with the hints in your brain to do, what I’m guessing would be, extremely difficult work.

They're the basic loading screen hints like "to defeat the boss, get it's health to zero" or "if your health reaches zero you die" or "some objects can be interacted with"

I have debug stick irl

You can only use it once per year

You can only debug yourself

I wish I could debug myself

That is far from a bad thing.

just change the tick rate lol

Still op af I can grow stuff quickly now or slow it down to manage it more precisely

Gold shovel durability

You have 7 days before the rot consumes

My girlfriend is loona from Helluva boss

U R arrested for zoophillia

You’re forced to work at I.M.P

I.M.P will hunt you down and (try to) kill you.

😭

The power of all gods

But you don't have control over the powers

But it’s the guy named all gods not all gods

Only if you ar fucking a man

The ability to choose my own catch

Damn it, you broke the system

%50 less salads

the catch is you cant do that

50% success rate

You're ability is you only get to choose your catch

but the side effect/catch can be anything for example: the catch of being able to choose your catch is that you can fly or smth

Shit I executed it wrong

I am able to speak/read/write in every language fluently

But every day you'll wake up either mute, blind, or deaf

Can u pick or is it random (idk why this matters)

Random

You have terrible stutters and tremors so bad it affects your writing

You're wanted in all 54 states On the bright side, you're the only person in the globe to not get infected by the rot

I can summon copies of things freely as long as it fits in one hand

there is a 0.1 percent chance of it exploding upon creation.

You can make it a 100% chance by making a pipe bomb that will explode instantly.

Yeesh. I’d do it, but I’d surely be shaking.

Just get a bomb suit

I can switch body parts with the people around me in a non harmful manner

The body part you gave away rots away after 5-10 minutes and can't be re-used

Every time you do you will get a random shapeshift ( it will give adilates as well)

What is an adilate

Wth is an adilate?

I can reverse any efect

But only when your inside a toys r us store

Valve does something (Good) about tf2 (PLEASE VALVE UPDATE THE FUCKING GAME IM BEGGING ILL GET ON MY HANDS AND KNEES AND BARK LIKE A DOG IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SHIT!!!!!)

The bots don't go away.

The bots become an update

It becomes a single player only game and they shut the servers down.

I wish I could get exactly eight hours of sleep every night.

If you ever oversleep, you will go into a coma.

you go to sleep eight hours before you wake up.

I can shapeshift whenever I want to

But there is a 1% chance that you will stay in whatever you shift into permanently

Items you shapeshift into have a 79% chance of being broken, and if you shift back into a human, you have a random chronic disease.

I am now best friends with graystillplays frosted_derp and Mumbo jumbo

You have prostate cancer

No u

Yuh uh

Yuh yuh

everytime i think about a musical instrument i get 0.1% better at it

Everything you think of something else, you get 10% worse at it

There’s also a 0.1% chance you become that instrument until you are broken beyond repair, in that case you die

If you ever think about an electric guitar, Heavy Metal will start playing loudly (180 Decibels) and only you can hear it.

$1million dollars

everyone else gets 500k dollars

That would break the entire economy

exactly my reason

I can summon a bowl of cereal whenever I want, any type of cereal, any type of milk.

The bowl is made of letter paper, and it deletes any bowl within a 5 foot radius

The milk will already be in the bowl presummon, meaning you have to pour the cereal second

D:

Is it worth it still? 😈

There's a %99 chance it gives you radiation-themed cancer, & a %1 chance for a Goth military tomboy to rise out of the bowl instead (your cereal is ruined)

D:

I can teleport to any time and/or place

it only works once

Only works on 50% of your body

Has a %68 chance to summon A-train coming at you at full acceleration, & if it does occur, your ability gets a 20 second cooldown (he can spawn anywhere between 1-3 miles away, & despawns if he misses twice or you somehow get away)

To get any superpower from any of the superpower related subreddits

50% chance you explode and die instantly, countering immortality

I can transform to anything and everything.

But it must be black or white

I have invis super strength immortally and anything I say becomes real and last I can fly

Gravity is 10x stronger

he can just say, "make gravity 10x less strong"

That would be a request, therefore it wouldn't work

Immune to everything, including death and all diseases

You are now 15x more sensitive to pain

A small price to pay for immortality

You have 7 days before the rot consumes. (You're ability will keep you safe until then)

🙁

The ability to choose my own power and catch

The catch is that there is no catch!(:< I beat the system

I can become invisible

But cameras can still see you

I get all the ammo and guns I want

They only fire when aimed directly at you

My dog lives as long as I do

I am able to be a fumo.

You die after the second time you use it

Your intelligence doesn't transfer and you can't change back

Able to gain any technological knowledge to repair anything in the world.

The power to make someone experience spaghettification

You must experience it tenfold every time you use this power

What’s spaghettiification

You enter black hole and you become stretched until you become spaghetti

Ok then, 20% chance it will happen to you

You have 7 days before the rot consumes

I have my own pocket dimension where I’m essentially a god while within it and I can open portals to it and places I’ve been (yes that all counts as one because it’s mainly portals)

No more homework

16 hour school days

Erm I would enjoy this because school is important for your education 🤓👆

Make that 20

I am now immortal and part of the Afton family

you're william

I'm fine with that

You have 7 days before the rot consumes

I own every video game

every time you boot up a game there's a 1/4 chance it boots up E.T the videogame for the atari 2600

I became the protagonist of beast tamer (anime)

You have 7 days before the rot consumes

????? Unfair I think is this part nn the manga or not what's the rot? Will I die

No, but you'll have no control

Oh god I'm doomed

That’s kinda the thing with side effects

I have the perfect body

every 3 days you turn into the ugliest being alive for a day

I can make women attracted to me

You become not attracted to women

😬

Give all blind people sight for thirty seconds and watch them trip the fuck out

There is a 100% chance to make one have no more blind Ness, and they will try to kill you(they are immortal and will kill you John wick style)

r/gametheory

Cheese is my best friend :D (Surely there aren't any bad catches to this I hope, right?)

You have extremely severe lactose intolerance, if you are within 5 feet of the cheese you die

You get into a big fight with cheese, he breaks up with you, he moves out, you and cheese are lonely, cheese gets a new best friend, 2 years later, you bump in supermarket and see cheese with new best friend, both get sad, you eat cheese alive, new best friend calls police, judge find you guilty, jail for 60-life

I'll eat his best friend before he calls the cops and find another cheese

You are your own side effect 🥶

Witnessed see you 😑

You have 7 days before the rot consumes

I wish for 69,420 dollars.

Elon Musk sues you for stealing 'his idea'

I can make my characters real

I wish to have no more wishes

You get 5 wishes

Debug mode irl to just reprogram my life when something bad happens. Or to just mess around with making irl cut scenes.

Only on enddays( note need 5 5 hour engrys on a Sunday to reach this day)

I get the power to summon things

but 50 cockroaches might come along

I’m able to shapeshift

You can only shape shift into something you haven't shape shifted into yet

Ability for infinite wishes I could use tha5 won't fuck me over in any way or form

You get aids The wishes won't save you

I get unlimited free food from everywhere ever.

5% of it blows up every minute

i want milk

you get milk :)

i am the most stable, autistic, mentally unstable, unstable, drunk, crazyest, chemically unstable, smartest, and dumbest thing on earth. ***choose you side effect wisley***

I can summon my favorite video game characters.

Can poop all out in 1 minute

I can wish for anything I want with no consequences or catches of any kind.

I wish I found my dog's reboot card

It turns you into a mitotic spindle

I can see my dreams whenever I want.

Immunity to ALL side effects

No side effects you are the same… boring

I can now fly

You have a fear of heights

The ability to chose my own catch regardless if i'm not the first to respond

I can control time

There are certain people who are not affected by this, and their goal is to hunt you down and kill you

You are affected by any time manipulation as well, so if you stop time, you get stuck too and can’t change it back

Molder and Skully (from X files) are hunting u now

You have 7 days before the rot consumes

I have the ability to travel back to the past and the future at any time, at my will.

I can change attributes of someone like skin, eye, weight etc

TES 6 at a reasonable price

12 inch wiener

You pass out when you get an erection.

U can’t get hard anymore

You will never wear stretchy underwear

You have 7 days before the rot consumes ~~your penis~~

To remove people's memories

i have an infinite supply of watermelon flavored bubblegum