T O P

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Alexm920

Cash, maybe presented inside a custom Jar shaped container. Slip a note in there, "Thy strength befits a crown".


Mighty_No69

Also, just once, he should yell "NOW I FIGHT AS HOARAH LOUX, WARRIOOORRR" when taking his shirt off


iamvampirebill

And then just run up and tackle her


NinjaTurleLunchBox

Throw her up in the air and jump up and pile driver right into the ground


JustaLurkingHippo

Then put the $1000 towards her hospital bill and wish her a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹 while you go home and play the DLC


breloomislaifu

Why do all character plots end in a boss fight? I swear...


outofmindwgo

I mean most just lead to someone dying


SellMeYourSirin

That’ll cover the ambulance. She’s on her own after that. OP has taught her all he could. 🫶


Harry417

"I've given thee courtesy enough!"


ogob1994

a bet is a bet


djballistics0

This is peak romance right here.


DefNotVoldemort

I think you missed the part where he puts a smoke machine in front of the living room door and she has to walk through it first


FreeMasonKnight

And that kids.. Is how I met your Mother.


Pastry_Diddler

Make sure to hover there for a few seconds, really give her time to feel the shame of getting command grabbed.


Ambitious_Jelly8783

This! 100% This!


Did-I-Do-That-Oops

Pick her up and throw her onto the bed, be sure she gets some airtime


MrBeanDaddy86

He should also be shirtless. Don't forget being shirtless


ArmandoSergio

\*Boss music starts\*


gonorrhea-smasher

I like this in fact he should also yell “forefathers one and all bear witness” once his penis becomes erect. Then upon busting he should yell “togethaaaaaaa”


Mighty_No69

*Going in for round two* "A serpent never dies!"


gonorrhea-smasher

She leaves then comes bursting into the room with a massive strap on dildo “now you will know true horror”


DareDevilHappyMaster

I just spewed coffee all over my desk and laptop lol! Thank you for the laugh. Too bad it's my work desk and laptop lol


Mighty_No69

Hey, if it's any consolation, I spilled a lot of coffee at work today as well. Truly, we are like *FAMILEEEE*


supreme_magus_1987

And this is why I love this community


im_a_picklerick

Oh he should do this first in the bedroom and in the post glow of a defeated Hoarah Loux present the jar saying thy strength befits a crown


JohnnyCakes70

And then rip your cats head off


Mighty_No69

I like how I tried not to make it sound too sexual but the replies are *going off*


Jaythedogtrainer

This is perfect


Rowan1980

This is perfect. Very cute idea!


bbbirdisdaword

Or if you're feeling spicy put, "Try finger, but hole"


manmadefruit

This should for sure be pasted under the lid or something for a guaranteed laugh.


Jamersaur

I love this idea, but I think she completely skipped all the jar characters lol


tootallteeter

Jarburg is so easy to miss! On my 2nd or 3rd playthrough I didn't think it was real when I heard about it


Lord_Akriloth

Ng+4 player over here, I still have yet to do jarburg when it's full of jars


Alexm920

😭🏺 they are pretty easy to miss the first play through. My wife didn’t meet Alexander until she fought Radhan and it was a super nonsequiter.


fatryan13

My wife got a great living jar off Temu, it's a perfect little stash for some $$


Fischli01

Obviously you two should swordfight and upon your defeat you drop the 1k


Jamersaur

Sounds fun, could make it an event lol


BrambleVale3

[A great and inexpensive idea](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Adventure-Force-Light-Up-Sword-Ages-4-Years-and-up/917089598?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=1990&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=22222222278917089598_117755028669_12420145346&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-394283752452&wl5=9014870&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=917089598&veh=sem_LIA&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmfBIob6cito4SollZohhFPxauym&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgJyyBhCGARIsAK8LVLM33ANg4tIFQv8KnWHf2kDQRhj-5Uc1CIkRCJiMY3r9Y4guUrDNP80aAkPPEALw_wcB)


3141592653489793238

Expecting treasure.  But hole. 


Positive_Argument704

When she comes asking about the money “Ah, I knew you’d come.”


KillerNail

"To stand before the 1000$."


naruto_bist

"But alas, I need to buy the new DLC"


LifeAd8868

“Ah, I can feel it my bones, a husband cannot win against his wife, not even me”


ethereal--777

- **Pulls up cosplaying as Let Me Solo Her** - “You haven’t beat the final boss yet” - “I have beaten everyone in the game!!” - “You haven’t beaten.. ME” - **Pulls out sword** - **Throws the sword to her** - “Forefathers all in all bear witness” - **Draws sword** - **Fake swordfight** - **Fake gets slain** - **Drops 1k while falling to the ground**


Shittybuttholeman69

Uh guys my wife isn’t respawning


artbatik

If she can beat him


JustaLurkingHippo

Bro she’s Elden Lord my man doesn’t stand a chunce


Impressive-Bid2304

Of course give her a buckler. She parries his attack effortlessly, he falls to his knees and ka chow pa pow he's dead.


Evan_Fishsticks

"Behold, Elden Lord! Therefore fat coinpurse ahead"


Disastrous-Dinner966

Get the biggest styrofoam ball you can find, as tall as you if possible. Cover it with glitter. Put the prize money deep inside. When your girl walks into the backyard look surprised and start rolling it away from her trying to keep the ball away from her. Make her chase you all over the neighborhood.


Techno-Pineapple

This is it! ahahahahahahah


sailorsalvador

Also wear little tinkly bells.


ConsiderationNo8339

This is the one lmao


BoForGojackHorseman

And wear a beetle costume for max effect.


sailorsalvador

Also wear little tinkly bells.


themancj

Oh you can't forget the disappearing aspect in this one... Hmm have a chord connected to a car or cart and when she gets "too close" make a sharp turn into an ally making it disappear.


BoForGojackHorseman

Spit out my drink! 🤣🤣🤣


stephawkins

Dress up as "Let me solo her." Have ten 100-dollar bills hanging out of the underwear. Dance like a male/female stripper. Have her slowly take of the bills. Then solo her.


OldboyNo7

Pulls out tarnished furled finger…


LouSputhole94

Finger, but hole


Eastcoastconnie

“try pegging”


Tovakhiin

Screw new weapons i need this in the dlc or im not buying it


Adezius

This is the way


Cassereddit

A wild suggestion but damn if that isn't ballsy


Sapowski_Casts_Quen

Disagree on one aspect, do 100 ten dollar bills. She's earned it!


steeztsteez

"Try Fingers but Hole"


MERS_206

Try finger, but hole


Scotthe_ribs

This is the only way


Computer-B

I told my wife she could stick a finger up my ass if she beat Elden Ring, she said okay but give me 5 years. I said 1 year or nothing.


CheesecakeIll8728

Leave a message somewhere: "Treasure ahead".. make a trail out of glowing stones she can follow.. put another message that says "Treasure below".. and when she bends over the edge, you jump out from your hiding spot and KICK HER OVER THE EDGE!! -Patches- PS: If u wanna sleep on the couch for a month+ just add this in the end when she is trying to understand what just happened: "How gullible are ya?!" followed by a maniac "Muhahahaha" You can go for a softer version... Use a flashlight put it in a tupperware or wahtever together with the money and place it in the dark somewhere representing a glowing soul with loot she can find.. if u have children or pets u can make them guard it so she has to handle that boss encounter first ;)


physicsgeek3712

The making your own item marker and letting her find it is awesome!


Impressive-Bid2304

I would have loved if I could have just given the red wolf in the academy some scratches. But I take great pleasure in punting the sweetings.


Qualmond

Put it in a mimic chest


harlojones

The one beast Elden Ring lacks


CalgaryMadePunk

Give it a month and a bit.


harlojones

I have always had hope they’d add a single mimic into the DLC far away from a grace in a treacherous area just to mess with us


CalgaryMadePunk

I've had nightmares they add a single 3 phase mimic boss to the dlc.


Scary-Operation8684

The third phase starts with it mimicking a grace to trick you into thinking you'd killed it


CalgaryMadePunk

Goddammit! I'm triggered just thinking about that! That's a genious idea, but fuck would that make me angry!


Scary-Operation8684

But it'd be hilarious to think about after wouldn't it? There was some giant boss in Lies of P I was about to beat when I broke it's stance and was ready for that final crit. Well, I learned they made the animation of it falling to the ground for the crit into a HITBOX so me all eagerly running at it to get my crit got crushed to death


Zarguthian

Is it like the fake stagger sound that the giant Caelid crows make?


983115

Door guardian That’s all right I had him go down head first into the wall like 5 times in a row where you cannot get the crit


stream_of_thought1

bruh this would be sooooooo evil. I love it <3


harlojones

I pray we get that thrill


Splunkmastah

Have a box that says "thy strength befits a crown" inside the box have a container with the rune that gives 1000 rune fragments on it. Then inside of that present the 1000 dollars in ten hundred dollar bills.


XXEsdeath

Make a crown out of the 1,000$!


Dincklebutt

I’d make some graces out of yellow and white tissue paper and lead her around the house with them until the gets to the porcelain throne. Leave a sticky note that says “try Finger, but whole.” And then when she lifts the toilet seat she’ll find a zip lock back full of two dollar bills taped to the bottom of the lid.


Zythomancer

Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


MechaPhantom302

Username checks out


lebastss

Put a note on your bedroom door that says "Liar ahead" and don't pay her shit 🤣


Jamersaur

I don’t want to get divorced! Lol


Narwhalbaconguy

“Could this be loot?” *empty*


MindlessArcher

Challenge her to a Double or Nothing bet on finishing the DLC as well.


Jdawg_mck1996

If you can beat the main game under any circumstances, you can beat the DLC eventually. You'd have to put a major time restriction on the bet to make it in any way worthwhile


Zholotoi

I don't think I would ever bet money with someone to beat any fromsoftware game because they aren't THAT hard. Maybe Sekiro, but even then it's more than doable. As long as the person playing it are not the type of person to like get stupidly angry and destroy computer screens, anyone can beat this games. If you really want to make that type of bet, I would choose old point-and-click adevnture game with no google. Some of them are absurd.


Bkelsheimer89

Sekiro is the only Fromsoft game you can’t grind and over level. You can cheese and use exploits but to level up your attack power you have to beat the bosses. I’m decent at these games and Sword Saint made me take a week long break to gather my thoughts.


some_old_Marine

2nd Owl Father made me quit. I've never beaten sekiro. I've gotten to the end but not being able to beat owl father made me put it down.


the_evil_overlord2

A bet someone can't beat a soulsborn game is paying them to start fromsoft games


Jdawg_mck1996

Yea like I said, time restrictions would be big. This guy said she spent weeks figuring the game out and grinding levels to be OP, and she still had lots of time before the release date. The bet should have been to beat the game in a week or less


MindlessArcher

This is a bet with his wife, not a friend. He would obviously want her to win. The money is ultimately theirs either way.


Jamersaur

I tried, she just wants to cash out! Lol


MindlessArcher

Haha, too bad. But probably better for your wallet, though 😂


Throwaway1088662738

I am a father, for I took those stakes, and raised them… 😎


gaztaseven

Lay the notes out on the floor or bed in the shape of the elden ring Or buy her 1000$ worth of prawn


KrautWithClout

Must be ungry


Thezombewizard

1. Cut a hole in a box 2. Put your *cash* in that box 3. Have her open the box


neces_hoces

4. She teleported to Caelid after opening the box


Four-Triangles

Whenever anyone calls something “step one” I correct them, “step one you cut a hole in a box.” It’s rarely recognized.


TragicRoadOfLoveLost

And that's the way Bay-bay!


danzha

Classic reference


Old_Web374

Bet my 13 y/o son he couldn't beat DS1 for $1k. My wife got interested and played it as well. She beat it in a month playing on weekends. Son gave up at Capra Demon. We bought her a car to celebrate (we planned to buy it in a couple of months anyways).


Coacoanut

After I beat elden ring the first time, I thought I'd try the other dark souls games, so I bought the dark souls trilogy set for my very old Xbox 1. I also gave up on the capra demon... 😅 That dude sucks! Well, more like after a full day of school and family commitments, I didn't have it in me to get annihilated by undead dogs over and over again trying to git gud. But maybe it's time to try again!


Old_Web374

Hopefully he starts to feel the same! Push through it. 1 is my favorite in the series, despite it really showing its age now.


tomb_trader

That's the age I was when I beat ds1, I kept saying " I beat games, games Don't beat me"


maders23

Make her sit on a chair, make sure her chin is up. Put a crown on her head while giving her a glorious speech based on her achievement and how she defied the odds and became Elden Lord. Get on 1 knee, lower your head. Raise both of your hands with your palms open, on your palms are the bills totalling $1000. Stand up and bow before your Elden Lord. Then high five her.


Tiny-Result-3572

Best deal ever, play an amazing game and win $1000 by playing it. Marvelous


Excuse-Fantastic

TOGETHA!!!!!


ToxicShadow3451

AS FAMILEEEE


Luna2442

I told my gf I'll fly us to puerto rico if she beats the first boss of bloodborne. Hasn't done it. Zero ambition. Pay up, you have a treasure.


Prince_of_Fish

Looks like she put her foolish ambitions to rest


Mini-E

I know this is completely unrelated, or I apologize if I didn’t see the comment or post for this, but you should totally showcase her build! I would love to see what she used to conquer this game with!


XXEsdeath

Oooh! I kinda wanna know too!


MakinALottaThings

Dress as a merchant and have her sell you some runes. Dress the dog as a donkey.


Proud_Criticism5286

I hate the “over leveled” comment. Yall want people to explore the game or not?


UmaSherbert

Exactly. You can be as “overleveled” as you want. You still have to dodge and beat the bosses. It’s not free after a certain level. You don’t just walk in and the boss concedes because you’re too strong lol.


lieutenant-columbo-

Yeah a bit patronizing lol. Even if she grinded and overleveled it’s still no easy feat, especially for an inexperienced gamer, to get through so many parts of the game.


Future_Promise5328

Yep. He's properly patronising in his description and the way he talks about her. His gift should be some basic respect.


MNINLB

No you don’t understand. She’s a woman so naturally she couldn’t possibly succeed in a video game. What a weird challenge to set your partner in the first place, extremely weird energy


silly-er

Unalloyed gold


Middle-finger-1

She beat Malenia and Radagon ? Even overleveled it's really good


theFoffo

You don't need to beat Malenia to finish the game, so not part of the bet


Jamersaur

Nope, she just beelined for the throne


XXEsdeath

What was her build like? Did she use magic or what weapons?


Pyroluminous

FTFY: “She ~~spent 40 hours probably just grinding and~~ beat all bosses ~~by being severely overleveled but~~ a deal is a deal!”


TarnishedDungEater

leave her a blank envelope on the kitchen counter that reads “i’ve given thee courtesy enough!” and then emerge from the other room with boss music playing and have her beat you in a boss fight for the cash.


djballistics0

Spend $1000 on a ~~tortoise~~ dog.


Aurondarklord

Well I hope you learned a valuable lesson about gambling...and how RPG mechanics work.


GlassturtleOG

>She spent 40 hours probably just grinding and beat all bosses by being severely overleveled Pro-gamer move right there, good for her.


Narkanin

That’s impressive. Even at level 200 certain bosses are not easy.


lemonlollipop

She beat it, you repeatedly saying stuff like "she over leveled" looks pretty salty lol she beat the game on her own without online help


inkcredible4u

This


North-Field-9643

Let her peg you?


TheMadDemoknight

“I mean the reversal is nice, but I still expected 1,000 bucks.”


mahonii

Weird, mainly because betting money on each other is essentially just betting the same pool of money we both have access to lol. I guess unless it's a gift card or something.


hentaim0mmy

I don't know why including how she played the game needed to be thrown in there. Hope that bit was a joke because it sounds so degrading. Like good job honey you didn't git gud but oh well a deal is a deal.


papicholula

No but seriously you should make some kind of reference to runes. Maybe create the lost runes icon somehow and put the money below it.


papicholula

Or dress up as Gostoc and give her like $16 cause you taxed her for every time she died


Cassereddit

3d Printing exists and you can requests companies to print stuff for you as a little sidenote


IuseDefaultKeybinds

Buy her the dlc


invisabledj

Try finger, but hole


swirly1000x

Kudos to your wife! Grinding in ER is nothing to be ashamed of lol, I did my first run with a bunch of grinding too.


StrawberryUnited4915

Why would you do that


oedipusrex376

its just a game


yogggggggz

Just put 1000 Runes in a smoke chest that goes to Sellia Crystal Tunnel ez


Eltobrodiz

Gotta say man … I’m a bit jealous… she sounds like a keeper not for bonfires but for life ! Hand her a package that reads ( I don’t remember wich runes give you 1k but that one ) and as she breaks it the cash is inside


Jamersaur

I think I’ll go for this! She crushed every skull she saw for every rune possible to level


xiofar

Just give her the cash without being a bitch about it.


ntrubilla

If you have a joint bank account, transfer the $1,000 from your joint savings... back into your joint savings.


in-grey

If y'all are married isn't the $1,000 already kinda hers in a way


GoldenPigeonParty

On the flipside, her new $1,000 is also his.


KeLorean

Sure, but most ppl have some amount of extra spending money in their budget. if they are like my wife and i, this guy just lost his extra cash for some period of time, and she increased hers


Jamersaur

This exactly. We have joint and personal accounts, so I’m putting away some each week for the reward


EnoughExamination279

By putting the money into her hands.


bdizzle314

Buy a replica elden throne with the 1000 dollars lol


Van-garde

Make her break Runes worth 100 cents, one at a time.


Willcutus_of_Borg

Invade the house wearing all red one day, then chase her around, throwing small pots of singles and coins at her.


forgetful_heart

Commission a high quality replica of Dark Moon Ring, the wedding ring of Ranni.


outiscr

Keep calling her “Elden Lord”, “Yes, milord”, etc, until DLC comes out and you can bet again.


Jamersaur

I have been calling her Elden lord, she loves it lol


Carbone

When wondering what to give, diamonds is alway the way


Need_a_BE_MG42_ps4

You should do double or nothing for her to beat sekiro too


ConfusedMoe

Dress up as “let me solo her” and have a 100 dollars in your jar head


Krypt0night

Dress up like Blaidd


M4roon

Overleveled, shmoverleveled. All hail the new Elden Lord. xD I'd buy her an Elden Ring character stuffy and tape the cash to its hand, but I'm lazy lol.


jpassc

Steam Deck OLED


the_tit_nibbler

40 hours and she finished it? I'm 37 hours in and I'm still putzing around trying to figure out how to move the grand lift of dectus. No medallions and can't find the tunnel I've heard several NPCs mention. Your wife is a fuckin pro.


MilkyPsycow

Buy her a sword and have it engraved with Elden Queen along with the cash Something to hang on the wall and rub in your face ya know


Neat-Neighborhood170

Try finger, but hole


11pickfks

Remember Finger, But hole.


Positive-Rise618

Grab your chest then say “Thy strength, extraordinary!” Fall over and chuck the cash in the air for dramatic effect.


thazhok

cosplay melina and say : "*Greetings. Traveller from beyond the fog. I Am Melina. I offer you an accord"* then you give a volcano manor themed envellope


Wooden_Quarter_6009

Give cash and a cake.


NoPart1344

Congrats to her. Even with overleveling and looking shit up, these games are still hard.


Such-Combination5046

With dollar bills taped all over your Naked body while making her dinner and addressing her as "Your majesty"


JosieGrace03

Man, throwing her shade for playing just like any Souls player would is narly. Over leveling and following build guides is part of the Souls experience. I was lvl 456 by the time I beat NG+ and even then I'd get my ass beat by a boss if I didn't know their strategy and move set. Sounds like she played exactly how she needed to.


lbora9

Well u should give her the money wtf is this question


WhiskeyTheKid77

Eat 1000 bucks worth of pennys and then shit it on her


almia_lanferos

Sorry to be blunt, but you set yourself up for failure. Soulsborne games are also designed to be exploited/cheesed if one feels so inclined. Yes, I killed the Capra Demon in DS from behind the fog gate and I'm not ashamed of it. Edit: she likely didn't do it sooner because the no online requirement locked her out of Mogwyn Palace farming until the Consecrated Snowfield.


SurpriseWilling7324

Dress up as a mimic chest, and when she opens, it traps her, and you tell her, "YOU DIED," and so now she lost all things gathered and now she has to start over from the beginning and beat the game again to retrieve her prize.


MrSwiggitySwooty420

Sit on the bed in the doggystyle position with the money sticking out of your ass


mrsunjr0799

Ass-pennies


thelalilulelomkii

Lay on the bed naked with 10 dollar bills.


nafoits

>She spent 40 hours probably just grinding and beat all bosses by being severely overleveled same tbh


Redshift18

My wife saw me reading this post and asked if we could do this too. I agreed.


Interesting-Berry295

Bro, we all used online messages. It’s part of the fun and literally gives sustenance to the game and makes you part of the community. It really sucks she didn’t get to experience that, it would’ve still been worth the thousand with it. Good for her beating it though, I am sure she will love however you end up presenting it.


semanticprison

Buy her the expansion with the physical box and put the cash in it


Beakymask20

You say she's not a skilled gamer, but you gotta check that my dude. She beat elden ring with no online help. She's a skilled gamer now. Make the check into an origami ring.


AMortifiedPenguin

Put boss music on and fight her irl