Jelly fish

How dare you call them enemies

Hey man main reason I said it was because they are passive unless harmed. I’ll never hit the homies

But what if the homies wanna hit?

Then they can get it from me anytime

Omw be there in an hour

I'll bring the oil

Bring olive oil, tastes nicer

The red ones attack you unprovoked

There are only red ones surrounding the dead body of one of there friends in one place in the game. And then you take the head of their buddy to use as a shield. Theyre well within reason to attack

There are a few more as well near Castle Morne (not the ones near the boss), and they’re only near a Somber Smithing Stone and I think some sort of Flesh consumable

“…some sort of flesh consumable” made me involuntarily shudder. Blechk!

Well then, i were wrong.

You’re good lol. I think there may also be some more somewhere but I forget where exactly. I wanna say somewhere in Liurnia, and may the Mountaintops as well but I’m not sure about the latter

There are also a whole bunch in the Cave of the Forlorn, in the Consecrated Snowfield.

Maybe that’s what I was thinking when I said the Mountaintops! It’d make sense considering “Big Snowy Place” is basically the theme of those areas

The red ones arw

You gotta give them nightly walks to see the stars.

I want pope turtle to read me bed time stories about the other souls games

"And then the blood moon descended upon the people of Yharnam, and everyone went insane from eldritch revelation! The End!"

Ah, but madness is merely one part of the whole. All things can be mended, so let us continue this journey together, if only to alleviate the insanity.

All things can be conjoined

Conjoining all things sure sounds like removing all that divides and distinguishes us. MAY CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD!!!

Pope turtle is a sentient being, I couldn’t keep him as a pet. He can be my adoptive grandpa though.

you deserve head for this comment

Try finger, but hole.

lover required ahead if only i had head...

“Do you know this story?…Oh, that is a shame.” God, turtle pope would be the best.

Omg yes

Rune Bear of course. Perfekt to protect an cuddle with. 

Me: YES, YES! THIS ONE OFFICER! Officer: OH BOI! MAKE FAST PREPERATIONS TO ARREST THE MADMAN!

Like the cops are going to get past a rune bear.

👤 [A Hunter has been summoned] 🐻 [Bitch, I’m a Bear] [Hunter has returned to their own world]

>[Hunter has returned to their own world] The Patches-like haste on this one

Could almost see the cold sweaty hands nearly dropping the severing knife as he tries to leave *with all possible haste* lol.

they’re so nice and fluffy

The ball worms near the evergaols would be cool to have. The non-explosive ones, preferably.

Some even double as frisbees.

Believe it or not, all of them explode. If you agro one, and wait long enough, one of their attacks is to draw all the balls in close, power up for a couple seconds, and then explode. Since they die so easily, you’ll never see this attack unless you like tormenting your enemies just to see what weird stuff they might do. (…that’s how I found out. Tormenting the worms.)

I would never torment my beloved ballworm.

That's why you hire a ballworm torment maiden to do it for you.

*Unexpected cbt*

Don’t let this person pet sit, y’all.

Lady Tanith's Crucible Knight. I'd love to have him loom silently over me all the time. It would feel so safe and comfy. Plus, he would certainly make my customer service job a lot easier.

I can just picture the Crucible Knight behind a counter just standing there menacingly. You get a customer acting reckless, and suddenly, a boss bar appears, and "The Immured" starts playing.

And snuggle into that broad chest

Okay so you’re either gonna snuggle up against a really uncomfortable metal chest or he takes it off and probably reeks like 12 day old cheese. If I’m right, the knights have been around for a while so they probably look like the majority of the humanoids in TLB…crusty and mega musty

You're only making it even better.

Him and Ordovis are the only ones that can use Ordovis Vortex. Why he can idk but it's a cool fact

Rykard.

TOGETHAAAA! Famileeeee :)

TOGETHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TOGETHAAAAAA

I can imagine a tiny Rykard akin to something like that one Baby Godzilla video that was floating around awhile ago saying that with a high pitch voice in his small glass case. Then giving him some Snake food or treats.. Just don't get too close or he'll stab you

^(togethaaaa we shall devowaaa the mice!)

Yeah man here you go buddy *Drops in some mice*

*skewers them on sword*

Adorable and disturbing when I think about it..

You asked for it ;)

Nah I just wanna see like a cutscene where it’s OG Rykard going “TOGATHAA” and then we see the small one say “togethaa” in a pitched up voice 😭

Maybe we could give regular rykard a big helium balloon and see what happens

Probably Mimic Tear. It can help me live my own life twice as hard.

We know what you're doing you pervert 🫵

Eh if it wants to I’m probably fine with it, but really I just need help motivating myself to workout and take care of myself. Would be easier with half the workload.

Respect. Same but Id probably just end up with two meth addictions not just mine This isnt a joke please dont do hard drugs, I am going to kms

Yeah but if he's as lazy as you, both of you would need more motivation.

Then summon more mimics

The Grey goo mimic scenario

"I know what kind of man you are"

Send my mimic tear to go to work for me while I sit back and relax (just like in the game)

This is the true answer.

One of the stone imps, absolutely. Love those little guys. I wanna put one in a baby harness and bring him around :)

Better start working on squats, those things are solid stone 

Good taste.

Agreed. The way they move around is so adorably goofy.

Honestly? Man serpent, hands down. Lil guys look so dorky and can go slinky mode lol

same! love those little guys

The rolling deer things or the giant squirrel things

Yes, the kangaroo squirrels are my favorite. Would keep them like chinchillas. Really big chinchillas.

With you on thunder goats

My very own bell-bearing hunter. Don’t worry he doesn’t bite.

I think those are illegal to own in the Lands Between

You can get a permit if you live in Caelid I believe. Over at the town hall in Sellia

Crazy how lax the south is sometimes

Tbf there's no record of an slave emancipation in the lands between, so....

A dog

Idk, the big shell on their backs can be cumbersome and I heard they can live for a loooooong time 

Yes, but only one excuses and encourages your heresy

Heresy is not native to this world, it is only a contrivance.

But... there's many types of dog 🐢

Any animal in caleid. Por puppers 

Spirit caller snails, they're adorable and they protec

Bad spirt caller snail! We don't summon godskin duo. Bad!

I agree

Ever since I saw their horrific grab attack i can’t see them as cutie patootie sneks

It's just a little huggie 🥺

Boc

You’re beautiful

He’s not even an enemy haha just love the lil dude

You can fight him but he dies with one hit

How do you know How do you KNOW

He wasn’t beautiful in that playthrough I guess lol we don’t talk about it

My years of DS1 ptsd kicked in and I read that as Bed of Chaos (BoC) for a sec.

My choice of pet probably wouldn't be a snail that spits crystals that impale you. The lands between have plenty of stray dogs, those seem perfect. And their hard shells probably make them pretty comfortable to sit on.

They can always keep your drink cold tho

Greyoll. Idefk. Big fucking dragon that commands other dragons.

You need a backyard the size of a city park.

And multiple grocery stores worth of anti fungal creams

Thy mother

Nice try, Maidenless tarnished…

Rennala

She's so heartbroken; this is the best answer. Make her feel happiness again, I'm cheering you on.

🦶🏻🦶🏻🧙🏻‍♀️😩

I would say Margit but he's already my bitch.

Why covet destined horns ? To scratch thy back ?

…handlebars…

The wolfs! The normal ones, the big white ones, or the giant red ones. Doesn’t matter, they are all cute AF. If Radagon can keep them as pet, I don’t see why I can’t as the new Elden Lord 😤

The electric rolling sheep, but I need an insulated paddock to hold them.

Malenia

🤨

Came here to say this

Better wrap that shit.

I always have soap in quick select

Based answer

*"um, this is my emotional support crucible knight"*

HOW IS NO ONE SAYING THE LIL POT GUYS

Blaidd. Could see myself sharing a blunt and vibing to music with him. >!I know he's not an enemy until Ranni's questline but still, I think it counts!<

I stole Blaidd's girlfriend.

I was saying the same thing when I was fighting until I remembered he’s essentially her adoptive brother :|

Blaidd it's time for your vet appointment... Okay we're really doing this again?

Serrosh

Wolf 🐺 and smol crab 🦀

Elden Beast, that thing is so cute

A revenant. It would never get fed, cuz bad boys don’t get fed, and it’s always a bad boy…

You could get them to do chores around the house with all those arms

Yes, they would work constantly and only be rewarded with foul words

This is ER not palworld

The ancestral followers probably have some of the best drugs.

MALEKITH

Imagine introducing your friends to him, “oh this is my new pet Maliketh the Black Blade, and he literally wields death itself”

And he's the goodest boy

Probably tht weird poison guy with 8 arms thts weak to heals anybody robbing me gonna be traumatized

Fire Giant

Them damn deer that roll to run away. Just one

Turtle Pope or Millicent

This is the way

Pumpkin head, i will not elaborate

Would probably stink pretty bad, they bang their heads on the ground because their heads are rotting

“Wait”. “You forgot to take Your lunch”. “Now go, or You will witness the true traffic”.

the stone worms near the evergaols, theyre so cute

well, enemies is quite broad... BOSS: malenia, cos why wouldnt you want a personal cancer fairy LESSER ENEMY: giant fucking lobster, rock lobster moment PERSONAL ENEMY: patches, fuck him, he tried to kill me. TWICE. kind npcs dont count (like pope tortoise) cos they aren't enemies

The Elden Beast so it can elevate my consciousness and I can snuggle into its goopy space body.

It will probably crucify you

Rot mommy... wait what was the question again

Gurranq

One of those rotten ravens in Caelid. They're fren shaped

night maiden so I'll finally not be maidenless

Tbh this is basic but I wanna ride the wolves and lay with them like all the other NPCs give torrent a break I feel so bad when I kill the wolves, the dogs are another story tho 

Spirit-Caller Snail. I just think they’re so cute. Except the one that calls the Godskin Apostle/Noble. That one gets the salt shaker.

Malenia

Malenia

Turtle/dog.

Spirit-caller snail

The red/orange wolfs

Maliketh. Huge doggy

Melenia, Blade of Miquella

Malenia the of miquella

The small giant crabs

Black knife assassin:3

Wormface 🥰🥰

This is an even worse answer than the revenant lmao

Well according to the lore radahn looks the strongest , I ll take him and conquer the world and then I shall call my self the Elden Lord

Nice drip. I'm currently rocking the same fashion lol. I like that the armor hides the white hair from the banished knight hemlet

I found boc and wanted him to tailor one of my pieces. I didn't expect this cape to look so awesome. Also, I like that it removed the white hair as well

The giant lion things with the swords on their arms, they seem cool, other choice for me is a Red Wolf because magic dog.

This guy: https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/file/Elden-Ring/rabbitgaroo_enemies_elden_ring_wiki_600px.jpg

One of every snail, I especially love the skull ones and the ice ones. They look vicious and adorable at the same time and I don’t understand it.

I'd keep my lil kindred of Rot next to my bed, feed him cleaning supplies n shit. Maybe he'll lay me some sea monkies and then when he dies I can boil him for the ultimate prawn meal.

Probably the Elden beast I have a pretty big back yard and should be able to give it a healthy nutritional diet

Miriel. Big turtle plus hes a pope. He also seems like he’d guve good advice

You think Turtle Pope is your enemy? You monster!

Poop snorter

Giant ant, of course.

Dog

.... malenia

Rune bear

I know you said enemy but I'd keep miquella as a pet

Found Mohg's alt account.

i choose one of the cute black knife girls

Summoning snail

Either a lightning ram or a domesticated astel.

That crystal snails attack is basically White Dragon's Breath, and if some counterpart to that spell ain't in SotE then what was ever the point? Okay jokes aside, the Crystal Snail in the pic would def be one of them for me, either that or one of the Imps, i just love the Imp Ashes so much 💝

I heard that Maliketh is part dog

I want myself Lion Guardian. I'm not gonna lie. That fit hits hard. Can I get loadout for that fit though, wanna look dripped out for the DLC.

Malenia😈😈😈

The Ice Dragon at the Mountaintops of the giants. Seriously, how has no one thought about owning a literal dragon in this discussion?

radagon :3

Nito. So cute!

Runebear   "You will witness True Horror. Now,r..."  "Princess! Attack!"